INTJ here, and I can tell you the guilt at “not seeing it coming” is so real. I feel like I am supposed to be responsible not only for myself, but for all the people I care about. When I can’t measure up to the standard I set for myself in my head, I can feel so inadequate. It’s something I have been working on lately, because I am holding myself up to an impossible standard, and it is not fair to myself or the people around me. Learning when to let go, to let people take responsibility for their own lives, and to give myself the same grace I give others is a struggle, but I think it’s worth it.
As an INFJ, I fully relate to that! What's so frustrating to me about this is that I know the standards I set for myself are impossible to reach and unfair but it's still so hard to be able to look at myself like "I'm good enough the way I am." For so many years, I was my own worst critic, a bully even, and I wondered why I can treat everyone kindly but myself. One of my closest friends who's also an INFJ once told me that I should speak to myself as I do to the people I care about and that was what got me started on trying to be kinder and more lenient with myself. Although, this sense of responsibility for others as well as regarding my standards is still there. It is a journey but just as you said, the struggle will be worth it in the end, I'm sure.
The worst thing about being an INTJ is to be able to "see the future" and warn people about it. Hardly anyone listens, much less acts upon the possibillity we were warning about. This causes our own plans, personal plans, to increase in rigidity and scope, and when our plans succeed it is a hell of a big success because of this insane scope that not a single normal person would take upon themselevs in their right minds. For those we care we make a lot of sacrifice nobody will ever know about. And when the issue we foresaw hit our loved ones they will be able to count on us because we were overprepared, and we will storm in guns blazing and all. It makes me proud to be so reliable in times of crisis, but at the same time it annoys immensely that half of the crisis are caused because people didn't do their homework.
Another INTJ here. I feel like crap whenever I don't meet my own standards or my goals I expected to reach by now. Even as a kid I was always really mad when I didn't do as well as I thought I should
Too true about the INFJ/INTJ. In high school, I was one of those people that knew exactly what I wanted and how to get there. Went through all the steps and what I wanted didn't happen as expected. Instead, another path came my way, and I went with that. Many personalities might say, "Oh! What a happy accident!" I say that no accidents are happy.
I'm INTJ, and that's exactly how it is. I had a life plan since I was a kid and I did everything exceptionally well until a certain point where "OMG, I've got feelings" and couldn't keep up anymore. Now I treat depression for "failing" and anxiety bc I can't figure out what my future should be.
@@AnaWaterkemper I know what you mean I'm INFJ, and since 7th grade I said "I wanna be a kindergarten teacher" Finished highschool, started working on that and hated it Than I tried translator, I like translating (my first language is Spanish). Droped out Oh look I can be a videogame developer! There's a college that'll give me an actual diploma for that, and it's free! Oh wait it teaches almost exclusively the company management part, I wanted to be a programmer Now I'm like Ok... Librarian or literature teacher? At least it's in the same branch, same college, and the first year is the same classes, so I have time to decide... I had everything planned and it feel apart immediately I'm 27 and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and I hate it Sorry for the rant 😅
I'm an INTJ too, and I only recently managed to confront myself and admit I have a fear of failing. Which is funny, considering I'm usually very comfortable with confrontation to the point that I can tell others that I'm rather honest than polite. And yes, accidents are problems and never happy.
This is true.. I had my life pretty planned out until a member of our family passed away. It's like I can't function anymore... I'm just going through the motions right now. I don't even want to plan ahead.
Definitely an INFP and have struggled with so much self doubt and feeling like I am not contributing. I often doubt my feelings, thoughts, and opinions. It's been a battle, but as I've gotten older I've learned habits to stay positive and not take things so personally.
I feel like an imposter all the time. 😄 but not about INFPness. To me, as an INFP, reading a book is getting stuff done that is of higher importance. But I dunno how to... well, I suck at doing stuff I don't care about. It's only because if external pressure i do that and I do the minimum.
This is one of those videos that makes me feel like I'm NOT INFP because I related less to that than most other types in this video because I feel like I'm not living up to my potential (very true), but whether it's important in the sense of the greater good, not so much.
Not imposters, just trying to step into a higher role. Having aspirations. There is a difference. INFJs know they are destined toward larger goals they may not be ready for yet.
I know what you mean. Sometimes, I've even felt like I wasn't living up to my own expectations of what the son of a rancher should be like when I was a kid. I was so hard on myself when I would fail at something my peers who also were growing up on ranches were doing. In a way, I felt both guilty and relieved when my dad said a few years ago that he was going to sell the ranch and retire. Guilty that I didn't think myself capable of taking the ranch over, yet relieved that the pressure to do so was going away.
My jaw literally dropped when he said INTPs will have impostor syndrome surrounding "I don't have an opinion". I have been feeling like this for past 3yrs, before that I think I had opinion on things, but in past few years I've been feeling that anything can sound right or wrong if a person talks about it long enough, and people can just make anything right and wrong, then what is even right or at least right-er. And that may be I don't care about things enough to have an opinion on something. This has been so frustrating, I thought probably I wasn't smart enough anymore to even form an opinion. This had even put me in a slump state where I'm scared of discussing things with people who share same interests cause I don't even know what's my opinion on those. I've never felt more dumb, pathetic and lonely in my life. Ngl, feels good to know this is a rather common thing that happens to a lot of people.
When he said it I was surprised, I thought he would have said something about not being intelligent enough. Then I read your comment and I remembered a lot of times that actually happened and I was so bodered by how easily I could change my opinion. And now that I think about it I'm literally doing it right now!
as an ISTP I couldn't relate, I'm not worried about my opinons or ideas, If I'm wrong I'll change if I don't know about something I'll learn. Maybe this is an important difference between the Ti doms...
@@jimenamondragon2076 So imposter syndrome may not be an issue for you then? I’m also an ISTP and like OP I was pretty set. The more I learn though, the more knowledge I accumulate the less confident I am. I’m reluctant to offer up an opinion on something unless I’ve had an extensive amount of time to research it and turn it over in my head.
Yeah, also an INTP and I thought I so dumb like...why everyone can wording their words easily, and somehow I got easily believe to what people say if they wording it in length..when I was younger. Maybe still I am now, but I learned it in the bad way and I become really skeptic nowadays.
My experience as an INFJ has been that I see myself as someone who should achieve the greatest of things academically, spiritually, and with regard to relationships. People tend to use and abuse my selfless side, but I don’t say anything back unless they are doing it too often or do something for their own gain with some other relationship. I currently don’t have any people I could call friends. I’m in college right now and I don’t want to intrude on other groups’ structures and seem nosy. I have so many future plans but no way to bring them into fruition.
It is for me as: "I am not enough of a doer and not getting where I wanted to be". That is why I was told to write my accomplishments. World is still turning around and life goes on, so that is why I (and other INFJs, may I generalize?) feel there are still have pending things to do.
INFJ here, this sounds way too familiar... It's hard but I'd just step out of my comfort zone, go socialize, and if everything goes downhill well you lost nothing because you already are alone. Being really blunt here. But there is nothing to lose. No stakes. Absolutely nothing. How would you feel in the future if you didn't try? It's horrible at first but if you can find one person who gets you the rest is way easier and worth the initial discomfort, and if not well you tried so there are no "what if's" anymore and you can have a peace of mind not thinking what could have happened
Ooof! As an INFP who is constantly stressing over not getting enough done, I started this video a little skeptical. However, my job is to help people and so not getting enough done often equates to not doing enough of the things that matter. I have had many, many “I destroy everything I touch” “I’ve never helped anyone in my life” “Everything is worse because I exist” spirals- much to the dismay of my loved ones. Personalizing and catastrophizing are killers. It’s so important to learn to identify your triggers and distortions and find a response that works for you. Thank you for the video! As always, we get a lot out them.
Once again a spot on video! I'm an INFP and resonate with the inner drive to do something that "matters", but I'm also with the ENFP on the whole "my ideas aren't original enough".
As an ISTP **internal screaming** this was very accurate But also I think a large part of it comes from not being good enough, for example say that I was told "Oh hey you did a good job on this assignment your really good at this" unless its something I'm really confident in Ill start thinking "oh no im not i was just lucky im not actually good at this im tricking everyone into thinking im good at this but im not, Im a liar, people are gonna figure out that im not as good at this as I seem to be and theyll hate me, Im living a lie" and then it kinda spirals
As an ENTJ, spot on. When I was in undergrad and grad school I was constantly pulling unnecessary all-nighters because I didn’t think I was “doing enough” and thought I was falling behind of my own schedule. To this day I have a hard time “calling it quits” at night. Just the other week I worked 17 hours OT. Work-life balance has been something I really needed to practice and learn because I had always been on this schedule and prioritizing everything on a list.
Same as an ENTJ when a test is coming up sometimes I think I don`t have enough info so I use up my Fi time by trying to jam the info into my head. I even didn't do the jamming and still got a 94. Plus the 5 point extra credit assignment before that gave me a 99. Actually grew my grade.
As a fellow ENTJ this stuff hit way to close for comfort I once said all those things to my friends when I believe I had failed them. They said they didn’t care, and that it wasn’t only my fault. I always think oh if I get this done I’ll get to enjoy myself, but I never do I just keep on working thinking I’ll enjoy myself later
ENTP here. I remember calling myself dumb out loud at work for not exceeding my personal expectation. A coworker heard me and said that if I considered myself dumb, then I must think everyone around me was beyond dumb since, according to her, I was the smartest one there. She looked so sad when she said this. Now whenever I say this which is rare, I always add in that this is based on my personal standards. As soon as I contextualize it that way, I realize that I need to stop being ridiculous and need to cut myself some slack.
Same here as an INTP student. I called my self dumb when i did better than most people but did not reach my own expectation and people think I am sarcastic. I am really not.
The Ni one hit really close to home. I entered a deep depression after realizing medical school was not possible. I had mapped out my entire future and wasted years in preparation for it, and accepting that I would be much happier in a different field was rough. Truly a humbling experience… now I have a job that gives me so much “me time“ I feel a lot better even if the pay is awful. Hoping to go into forensics in the future instead!
Your years spent preparing for medical school were not actually a waste of time, even if you feel like they were. You learned things you wouldn’t have learned any other way and you wouldn’t be where you are now if you hadn’t gone down that road first. It may take time but I’ll bet one day you will realize the value in those years. Best wishes for a fulfilling career!
I was the same when I did nursing. Finished the degree and did almost 1 year work before completely quitting. Even though I may have wasted my years, I also feel differently as a person after gaining all the knowledge from nursing.
as an aspiring medical college student (I am preparing for entrance exams) I really admire your effort regardless of u get in or not as I know what hard work it demands but I am sure that the person u are today is because that u were whole hearted in your efforts and strong enough to humble yourself and picking other option in life even though u wanted it so heartly and of course the knowledge never goes to waste, I really hope to have humility as you in myself -INTJ
This is genius. Sobbing rn. Everything's sticking together. An xntp here, who's been through all the 16 circles of hell due to most-likely-depression - because wtf else can it be - and a naturally strong sense of anxiety and impostorism, coming from the disappointed perfectionism and unachieved goals, since childhood. I've been searching for this realization for so long, I wish I had time to explain: I would literally write a psycho-analysis-essay on my behavior on each stage of my life right here without a hint of embarrassment about trauma-dumping, but the feeling's too strong to let go just like that and the bus's about to arrive. Smiling like a fool. I haven't felt such happiness in a while. Thank you, James. This video seriously triggered me in a positive way.
intp here too, not sure what i expected but the video was scarily on point. knew i had some degree of imposter syndrome but the "i don't know my opinion" didn't just hit home-it crashed into home lol. really felt seen? and that made me pretty happy too :)
I'm a college student currently. Both ENTJ and INTJ are spot on. as usual i can't figure out which of these two I am. But at least I'm temporarily validated.
It might be confusing if you are looking at the lens of the first two functions Ni-Te vs Te-Ni. Try to see if you are energized or more natural to default to your 3rd function. So an ENTJ would be Te-Se while an INTJ would be Ni-Fi Looking at trickster and demon function also helps. An ENTJ would have more Fe than Si While an INTJ would have more Si than Fe. Let me know if this helps as I'm trying to experiment this idea. I'm also torn apart from ENTJ vs INTJ on myself before as I'm enneagram 8 which is usually for Te-doms. I also have a well develop Te + Se which makes me looks like an extrovert from my peers. Yet whenever I do social things (meet people, organize programs, etc), I get drained the next day and just rest and listen to music all day long and not doing work.
It's depends on if I like you 😉 As an INTP, INTJs are basically my favorite type. EXTJs are my LEAST favorite. Pushy, bossy and obnoxious. Make a decision quickly so we can move on. Even if the decision sucks. Ugh! INTJs are a lot more thoughtful and perfectionistic, in my experience.
As an INTJ I'm feeling this way right now. I have planned all my life ahead of me but recently I feel like things might not work out the way I wanted them to be. And I'm totally confused and lost right now.
Very accurate for the ENFP: I am a designer, and I do think sometimes that I am not creative and innovative enough... But in fact when I look from a different perspective, I truly am pretty good and I think I shouldn't be so harsh on myself!
I am an ISTJ, and despite being very accomplished professionally, educationally, etc I struggle with feelings of inadequacy all the time. Sometimes I look at where I am in my career and don’t think I deserve to be where I am. I have little kids now and that’s been a challenge in a similar way-feeling like I’m not a good enough dad/husband. My wife (and ENFJ) helps me soooo much. She’s my biggest fan and is always there to lift me up when I’m struggling. I couldn’t do what I do without her.
It's literally what I'm living right now as an INTJ. A bunch on unpredictable things happened, I fell ill and all of a sudden all my self-confidence was shuttered, so I fell into a loop of anxiety and obsessive, self-judging thoughts. I'm trying to live without planning everything or expecting so much from me, but it's DIFFICULT. 😫
Ooh I've been searching this subject recently. When starting up my therapy business I had major imposter syndrome, even after already being on placement and working with people who were very happy after their sessions. I said in my head 'fake it til you make it', which doesn't even make sense, because I'm not faking it one bit lol. But it helped, and gave me the initial boost. Its going well, but occasionally I feel this. BTW, really appreciate your word of the weeks, they're so helpful and inspiring.
As an IFNP I chose nursing because helping others was the only worthy choice for me. I also get lots of positive feedback from others telling me I’m an “angel” and thanking me and that makes me smile but I’m also thinking…”but I could do better.” Nursing is really taxing but when I daydream about doing something easier I get this fear that it won’t matter enough to me and I’ll also get bored. The escape for me with the way I think and feel that causes me stress is to get outside and walk or hike. Ah, the great outdoors!
As a fellow INFP, I laughed hard at 'Oh, man, I can't get anything done. Anyway, I'm going to go read a book.' It's so true. I'm supposed to be working at the moment, and here I am, watching UA-cam...
INFJ here who is also neurodivergent, I’ve come to realize that I think I’ve had imposter syndrome (at least unconsciously) for much of my life. I’ve known about my ADHD and Autism since I was about 8 or 9, but that coupled with my secondary function as an INFJ being extroverted feeling makes me painfully aware whenever I stick out like a sore thumb to others in public. My imposter syndrome has gotten worse over the past year thanks to my now ex-ballet studio, and the form it took for me were things like: “I can’t keep up with my classmates” and “I *should* know what I’m doing, but I don’t.” It seemed to me like everyone my age and younger at that studio were all amazing, and perfect, and able to pick up things super quickly, while I constantly felt like a failure who was falling behind. It got so bad that about one or two months before I left I started to get extremely stressed, aggravated, and felt like I was losing it. Now I’ve transferred to a new studio with much more understanding and compassionate teachers and have been improving both in my training and my mental health over these past three months. Imposter syndrome is still something I have to overcome, but moving to a more reassuring environment has definitely helped me. :)
ISFP- it’s true, sometimes when I start thinking about how maybe what I’m doing isn’t “good enough” it’s a reflection that if I cared more (were more passionate) I would go that extra mile without a second thought. And the depressing rabbit whole that is questioning why I’m not moved by work is heartbreaking at times. Other times, a motivator. And I tend to jump back with thoughts of “it’s meant to be how it is and that’s good enough, even more than enough. Because it exists”
And I think even works that aren’t up to standard, and I’ve regretted sharing/making, are alright and shouldn’t be dwelled on to much. It’s natural that not EVERYTHING one makes or takes action on will define how they truly are/feel and want to be reflected to the world. Could think of it as an example of what not to do, or a lesson. Either way, it’s okay
INFP is so true. I'm a 'gifted kid' who is just starting to have to struggle for the first time in my life. I feel so bad about myself because I know that if I just applied myself I could do well. It often makes me feel like I"m a horrible person or I'm not trying hard enough. If you feel a similar way - please know that you don't have to be good at this or that. You are a valuable person no matter what. Keep doing your best!! No matter how good or bad that might be
INTJ here, and quite frankly I agree with this. Some things I had a plan for the next 3 years and all of it I cancelled and decided it wasn't what I wanted anymore (even though it's something I really wanna do) all due to a close family member of mine unexpectedly was diagnosed with epilepsy. The whole, I should have seen it coming bit was very much how I felt for the past 3 months. I feel like I don't know where I'm going in life anymore, or even what I want to do. That I can't even finish a simple task on time to the standard that I expect myself to be for others. I'm considering getting help and finding someone to talk to, hopefully I'll be able to get back on track.
INTJ - I failed. Life did not go as I planned. My first big choices in life turned out to be huge failures, with a repercussion of 10 years of poverty and homelessness. It took me another 10 years after that to finally fix my life. 20 years later I am finally at the starting point where I should have been 20 years ago. Imposter syndrome is my life now. Because I am a huge failure who lost so much, but on the outside I look like a strong woman with success.
Kind of loving the old energy that feels more like we're sitting down with Frank while he talks about types and various topics. Though I could probably listen to him talk about lint for a half an hour and be enthralled.
This gave me an existential crisis bc I'm an INTP and the anxiety I could relate to the MOST was the EXTJ "I'm not getting enough done here." Like I kinda loathe how my INTP analysis paralysis slows me down in making decisions that should be easy.
I just retook the test and it did come up as INFP instead of previous INFJ and I watched both and though I do relate to a degree to INFJ imposter syndrome, the INFP hit it RIGHT in the bulls eye. Everything you said is how I feel. I care so much, but I don't do bc I have so much fear and mental and emotional blocks preventing me to move forward and it's eating me alive, making me even less capable to get up and march on.
Now I know where does that anxiety of "I didn't do enough today" come from. My type is ENTJ and that was so true for me. I used to have an imposter syndrome and see my achievements as no big deal, and that's luck .. etc, I believe a lot of us have had that at some point in our lives, but I still have that specific imposter syndrome of ENTJ " I'm not productive enough" I know how that feels, but I also know how to address it. That's what make me doubt my type sometimes, I'm not playing the role so well or I'm not a CEO for instance. That was great, Frank. This video have the vibe of your old thoughtful Thursdays videos, I really miss those. Thanks for the video and the valuable information.
The ISFJ one made me laugh. My mom's an ISFJ, and she always kept a cleaner, nicer household than like all of my friends' parents growing up. They would always compliment it and be like "wow it's so nice here" and so on, but my mom always thought she was a messy person because she would have one "pile" of disorganized stuff (like papers, mail, notes, etc) on one table in the corner of the room. Like mom, nobody cares about one miscellaneous grouping of loose items, the rest of the house is super clean and well-decorated lol.
"My house is a MESSSSSSS!!! OMG, I'm SOOOO sorry!!" When actually there's just a stray newspaper and an empty glass on the table. I always joke that they should never come to MY house. 😅
Better thank Se Nemesis+Fi Critic for that. An ISFJ that integrated their shadow is proactive when keeping their physical environment squared off, including themselves. Also Fi Critic holds ISFJs to such high moral standard that even themselves sometimes can't maintain.
Im also an ISFJ. I’m not a mum but when I’m at work I make sure the areas are wiped clean more so than my colleagues. I also worry about starting my love life and having kids one day because I’m not organised enough.
Frank, as an ENXP this encapsulates everything I am feeling rn. Running out of ideas is the worst feeling for an Ne user, it's like losing one's flair.
Yes, life feels fake without meaning or creativity and being trapped unable to process everything or do anything but basic survival = going crazy as an ENFP
As an INTJ this was spot on😂 I literally have zero clue. I am just jumping from one place to another, with my goals. I plan so well, but my life..just takes so many turns. And the blindside..soo real..
Thanks for this more formal yet still informative as usual video, it is spot on! And don't worry about the phrasing for the Fi types, it fits perfectly with this dread of never contributing with anything of value 😢 But you took my suggestion about keeping the types names in the corner, so yay! 😊
Thisis is so true. As an infj, I always feel responsible for not seeing things coming especially when it's related to a person revealing their true colours or being taken advantage of.
INTP here! although I don't think I have Imposter Syndrome myself, I still find these types of videos quite interesting. I think it would be really cool if you could also do one of how either social anxiety or anxiety in general (GAD) affects the 16 personalities. I have severe social anxiety myself and I'd love it if you could make a video about that. Thank you!
@@muhammadraiyanhaziq I'm an INFJ, I relate to that too cause my head is always preoccupied with other things 😅 Sometimes I want to shift to my favorite anime (and be friends with the villain who tries to murder the protagonist, *twice.* With a freaking small nonexistent gun) If you know, you know. If you don't know, the hint is my pfp
@@heavenlysadist Speaking of function stacks, we have the same function stacks. But with the two functions in reverse order ISTP : Ti Se Ni Fe INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se The family member I know who’s an INFJ is none other than my dear father. His inferior SE is obvious as when we’re outside, I’ll have to tell him where he parked his car and he was like “You have good memory”. He’s also known for his family values and kindness. Meanwhile, I’m quite a practical person who can come off as snarky as I tend to have a bit of wisecracks here and there. We do get along, but I’m the most quiet person in the family. Speaking of anime, I like anime too. I like romance genres in manga (dun judge me)
as intj, I definitely relate to that imposter syndrome. my life in the past year has been apathetic and demotivating for not being good enough in my job. I was moved into another branch of what I'm working as, which is also nice and I somewhat like it, having fun at times, but it was hard to see how untalented I am compared to my peers(I knew I average but damn, now I feel lower), so I'm kinda functioning with a hatred/apathy towards my personal works I used to enjoy. I'm so tired after work, putting all my mental effort into it that it leaves little afterwards for myself(I burn myself becauseI want to be good and responsible, to show I'm not as bad). I can also relate a lot to the istj one, I have been feeling like that as well, I don't feel very organized or systematic, I feel my life's a mess no matter how much I try to keep things organized or have a mental plan about doing things. I hope therapy can help me get over some of the issues I want to better myself at about myself or at least help me get my passion to work on my personal stuff back because it's very important for me to finish it. 😔
I can relate to this (besides the istj part). I have recently experienced this at my job. I gathered information from different coworkers and I took those advice to create a routine that would be more efficient, and works for me. Then I find out my supervisor doesn't like that expects me to do things a certain way, even though that slows down my work significantly and makes the job of those in the hospital all the more harder. Which is why I did what I did, it benefits everyone along with myself. On top of this, I have been messing up in another area. I was trained for it, however, I wasn't given the whole information for me to be competent in my job. I figured if I'm being trained, I'm getting all the info I need and should have questioned if that was everything. So now, my mistakes have affected people. All of this made me feel incompetent and not good enough, an idiot who missed the obvious. I only have to hang on until my college classes start so I can eventually leave for the career I truly want.
I was in the middle of writing a poem for my channel and I felt stressed cause I couldn't come up with a good idea I often feel stressed because of it but I do extremely well when not under pressure and your explanation about enfp made me realise something although I can't explain it I feel relieved and am happy so thanks for making this video 🙂❤️❤️ Edit: I just came up with a poem after relaxing a bit Edit 2: I am in an uncontrollable rage With these unreasonable requests They put me in this cage Saying it's for my best They didn't do the bare minimum Yet expect me to comply Knowledge isn't wisdom and this proves me right Using violence for punishment They treat me like a pest So, I show my resentment unlike the rest Thank you for reading my comment ❤️❤️
Oh that's exactly me! I also write poems and it's such a horrible feeling when you just can't write or write "good enough" for yourself. Also I'm a horribly perfectionist and if my poem just doesn't feel perfect I can't feel satisfied at all.
@@bhavanikasomu5866 it's really good! It gets straight to the point and the symbolism really clear and spot on. You've done a great job! But if you want some constructive criticism, I'd say maybe you can work on your pacing and the length a little bit more though shot poems also do work great if done properly. Other than that, it's a solid poem. You should be proud of yourself. Edit: do you want to read one of mine?
I am an ENFJ, and knowing how to feel and act in a situation is very stressful if I don't know how to play it right. I have two big problems right now, and I know the right thing to do, but it includes some heavy conversations. I get mad at myself if I don't get those conversations right and I screwed up. You would think those conversations should be the least of my problems but I will obsess about them.
ENFJ here ! I struggle with that too and im glad im not the only one feeling that way 😭 it just becomes stressful and gives me a headache because im making up all the possible scenarios depending on my reaction or what i'd say in that particular situation. I just wish i could only have one "clear" answer when faced with certain situations ☹️
@@yoonminnie1049 Damnn guys u all so on point😭❤️✨:D I am pursuing something I like yet was constantly unsure whether to pursue it and was seeking multiple reassurances...even now if I react rudely (which I do unintentionally) I can't stop but feel I overreacted or I could've been nice....if I see someone needs help and I don't help that person...I can't help but think about that person and their needs....I did stop considering others and giving time to self but no can't happen...took test twice yet ENFJ both times! anyways trying to ngaf over small things You people are preciousss, tc my heroes ♥️❤️💕💖
@@yoonminnie1049true, true! For me I feel like whenever I think about the possible outcomes, after that I'm just like its okay but then it really affects me because I feel negative emotions but I dismiss them and say to myself stop these emotions. And i feel like that really makes me feel like lost and "cloudy minded" as if everythings unclear and nothing feels real. I just get so lost and want someone sharp minded to take over my body and tackle my problems to become my regular self. Its really hard to explain but I hope it made sense 😭😭
ISTP here. While the Ti-dom imposter syndrome does affect me to some extent, I think I relate more to the Fe-dom one in a weird kind of way. Since I tend to intellectualize my social interactions I'm often worried I don't give the "appropriate" response to whatever is happening around me (but then again autism masking probably has a big role in that lol).
This was a really interesting topic Frank! It shows how our personality type plays into so many different areas of our lives. And of course this reiterates how helpful studying MBTI can be. Not just for improving our relationships with others, but MBTI has countless other applications.
Omg INFP is soooo accurate. I feel that "nothing I do matters" and "I'm actually harming people" ALL.THE.TIME. yep. That me. Nail on the head. And it makes me shut right down.
It's so real it hurts. Being an ISTP it bothers me not knowing something of interest to me, and it's worse when someone questions me that because I study social sciences I should know. Perhaps other personalities do not feel that need to want to understand a lot, but in my case it is very real that sometimes it is stressful
INTJ/INFJ’s pride themselves on introspection and prediction because we’re always thinking about every little detail so when something blindsides us we feel pathetic, like we let our guard down for a moment and everything came crashing down and now we have an anxiety of always staying on top of everythibg
I'm an ENFP and sometimes I can be completely empty of ideas and creativity or see my ideas as inadequate, which often makes me wonder if something is all right. Then I start to blame myself or feel incompetent because I feel like this is something I have to do. I can say that these times make me a little panicked but then everything goes back to normal.
Your section on INFPs was crazy-accurate. I’ve always wondered why my husband (INFP) would seem to have these moments of literally asking, “Am I even doing anything that matters? Do I matter?”, and my ENFJ self is just wondering how to respond to this internal crises 😆 this helps me to understand where these self-doubt moments come from, and looking back, I can see they align with major life/role/expectation changes.
It's really interesting how the imposter syndrome always occurs in our talent areas^^ Counter-intuitive at first glance but it makes sense... that's where we attach our identity on and therefore a vulnerable area... It's a good reminder/eye opener to put things back into perspective! 👍
im an infp but I relate with every thought so much. I think I just have low self esteem and carry it around in all aspects of my life... but its getting better :)
Right one. When I first got into typology I was thinking to myself 'naaaan I can't be an ISFJ I'm way too messy and disorganised' andn then I saw your video's and the ones of objective personality... It's all about what you feel responsible for and what you are afraid of :) Thanks again great video FJ!
This hit hard as an INTJ. I had stuff planned for my career and I actually got into this project position I was interested in. But people were really awful then and never let me do work. I tried everything in my power but there was so much heirarchy and personal bias. I just couldn't do anything. One day my boss directly told me I am not good enough for things, and it hurt me a lot. I couldn't it any more. I quit my job and came home (I was in a different city). It was the first time I didn't follow my plan and did things on a whim. And since then my life has gone downhill only. I've been unemployed for 6 months and nothing seems to work out for me. I feel so awful and pathetic. I honestly thought I am a disgrace as an INTJ.
I’vd had that three times in three jobs. I was under achieving and not in my right role. But it got better and I get asked for high level jobs now, it just took longer than I thought. (Maybe i was too young ?) So hold courage, seek well, in the mean time find a voluntary position or create one that fits your expertise and skills.
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I have the utmost respect for INTJs like yourself and your ability to make a plan and stick with it (in a world with a lot of people that are flying by seed of their pants that are happy to blame their misfortunes on others rather than taking any personal accountability). I'm not an INTJ myself but maybe I could suggest making a new plan for yourself with the realization that that plan may need to be modified, accordingly, as human behavior is one thing that you can't control. And, maybe being a worker that works on a set project is the best move for you but doing research and working for a company that values it's employees so your intelligence and hard work are valued as a part of the team. I hope that helps at all and I hope your next plan comes to fruition.
Thanks for this video FJ! I’ve been trying to figure out my type for ages, but I think my overpowering imposter syndrome was confusing and misleading me to dead end after dead end. Now that you’ve kindly explained how each type experiences imposter syndrome differently, I think I have a much better chance at finding my type now! 😊💕
The INFJ one was spot on. I had a bit of an identity crisis last year and my main thought was “What am I doing? Did I ever do anything worthwhile?” But now I’m all good 😎
You absolutely got me at the opinion thing with ISTPs, I always feel like my opinion's gotta be justified because that's what I feel other people are like, and not *knowing* why I think something bothers me to no end :')
As an ENTJ I think I have thought all of these at some point. Thanks Inferior Fi. I do get the INFP and ISFP alot because it`s hard to work towards my Fi needs. Again thanks Fi. 14:04
Haha INXJ spot on. Divorce changed my landscape and all of a sudden I was sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean having to find land again. My bf (INTP) likes to bring up an example of when we moved into a place where the wifi wasn’t great. At first I was like, “Ahhh, this is great. We can disconnect from the world and relax… it’s peaceful.” And then literally a half hour later I was trying to research something and lashed out “Gosh!!! What the hell!? We can’t live like this.” Basically, life HAPPENS to us; we don’t happen to it. Having to imagine a whole new future is very distressing to us.
INFJ here, and yeah even before being aware of mbti Literally EVERYTHING you said, down to the intonation of those monologues. It's insane 💀 "Where is my life going...? I- What am i doing?! W hat is hAPPENING to me??! I should've seen that coming" Yeah sounds about right 😂
I'm an INFP and I recognized myself also in the ESTJ/ENTJ (not being productive enough) and and also in the ENTP/ENFP (I'm not creative), but then you explained INFP and it all makes sense 😅 What matters to me most is my writing and the thoughts of not being productive enough or creative enough only come up with things like writing that matter a lot to me. 'I should be putting in all of the effort to reach the goal of becoming a succesful author who has something to say with their stories'.
As an ENFJ, this is the most accurate thing ive ever seen. The exact example, of an acquaintance dying happened to me last year. This is eerily accurate
INTJ here. But like most of the vids, I found ISTJ and INTP relatable here too. Tbh, I often doubt if I'm really an INTJ cuz I do plan specific occasions and events but I have never made elaborate plans about my future at any point in my life. Even now that I'm 31 years old and doing a job, people ask me what I want to do next, how I want to evolve myself, why I'm stuck in the same place for years. I stayed on my 1st job for 7 years and didn't think of switching to a better job despite the low salary cuz I didn't want to leave my comfort zone. I only recently moved to a new job on the recommendation of my own Boss as he was shutting down his own office. Last week even my new Boss on my new job had a conversation with me on a similar topic. He asked me why I didn't go for M.phil after doing Masters, I told him I got a job right after it and then I just stuck with the same job until recently and just didn't go back to studying. He advised me to take up some courses to refine my skills and reach a better position in the sector. But it seems like too much of an effort to me. 😅
I feel you and I’m ISFJ. I don’t like changes at all so if it’s comfortable I will stay there “forever” until I’m comfortable enough to make a change which for me can take long preparation.
Well, I'm an ENFP. I have a degree in ballet, and a diploma in aerial yoga, have choreographed for a musical, have been trained in piano, cello and singing, I hold a BSc, 2 MSc and a PhD in Neuroscience, have positioned two people from different scientific fields to internships who opened their careers, have been a tedx speaker coach, have done environmental activism, have played in professional theatre, approached a nobel laureate in a plane and asked to take an interview from him (which I did two days later), have had a crazy emotional and intimate life, including long and meaningful relationships, have been to conferences but also to unstoppable festivals and parties. What I'm saying is that I constantly have a new idea to seek something, to connect dots, to create experiences for me and others, to pursue an artistic and scientific field in life so I can contribute to them. Yet..... Ever since I was about to finish my PhD I've constantly felt like a fraud and I have this existential stress that if a day passes and I haven't come up with a new idea for my work, I haven't pursued one new thing of knowledge, I haven't completed a milestone in art, then I'll be stuck and lame and behind everything and not useful for society or myself for eternity... All the above are the result of both an absolute excitement to experience all fronts of life, but also an obsessive compulsive behaviour of underlying stress dictating me to never stop because 'I'll stay behind'. :-/ It's been at least 10 years that I've been secretly thinking I'm not good enough, really good enough at anything, that I'm just ok and that the only real strength I have is to deviate the attention of people who belong in one field/one group of something, to my abilities/background/knowledge/experiences of the various other different fields I also belong so they won't discover I'm not good enough in the particular field we are all together.... To scientists I narrate things about art, to artists I narrate things about science etc.. meh.... Good luck everyone! No one deserves to have imposter's syndrome, if they are conscious and moral enough to do a reality check of themselves to assess what's realistically good and what needs improvement. It's not a nice feeling at all.
As an INTP, i totally agree. I've been to this phase multiple times and makes it a downfall for someone who gives pride on giving opinion to everyone who's expecting from me.
ENFP here (who is more introverted) REALLY feeling the INFP imposter syndrome. I have so many things I'm passionate about that when I'm not actively working on one of those things, I feel like I'm failing. It's like I know I want to share my values with the world, but whenever I'm overwhelmed and cannot be working toward that, I constantly feel guilt that I'm not working my hardest to change the world for the better.
INTP here, at first I thought it was ridiculous, but this is actually really true, sometimes it really bothers me or makes me feel insecure if I can’t grasp a problem or have a good stance on something. Though also I hate when I have low talent because I hate how I can’t understand how to do things and how developing talents are hard :))
these are so accurate as a mix of ISFP/INFP My bf is always telling me im doing too much and putting too much on myself because I like, obligate myself to doing things i dont even want to do just bc it would help someone else. and I am always down on myself because I havent been able to pursue my dreams due to lack of financial stability... but literally all I think is "what am I doing with my life?" or I look in the mirror and say "I hate who I am" you hit the nail on the head here...
you got me at the INXJ one, my life had a huge turn, the plans i had for years have been collapsed and after that my overthinking got worse and i felt lost and couldn't figure out what I'll do after. i tried to get myself out of my dark thoughts but didn't work. i even restudied the cognitive function cuz i doubted my type and my personality, but then i got on my feet again and trying my hardest to get my life together. this was something new for me because i never thought my plans, my goals and everything I've worked for would vanish. but some things are out of our control, we cannot be sure of everything.
Also, as an INFP, I had a very serious internal crisis lasting about a decade or so, starting in my mid-twenties, that was founded on the combination of "my values are wrong/not good enough" and "I don't know what my values are, therefore I don't know what my identity is." I think you sort of touched on that in your description of us. The issue of "I'm not taking enough action in accordance with my values or to bring my values into reality" never has gotten under my skin *quite* as much. It still bothers me to an extent if I let myself think about it too much, but to be perfectly honest, I think I suffered so much burnout in the process of my existential/quarter-life crisis that now I just have to be more judicious about what issues I allow myself to give emotional energy to and what I allow myself to get into a tailspin about. Yes, I could be participating in phone banks and marches, and yes I could have reined in my emotions and behaved more maturely in that one interaction the other day, but I have a finite capacity for self-flagellation--or self-improvement, for that matter--and I depleted quite a bit of it during my crisis. This is what I can do with the energy that I have available to expend. This is what I got--take it or leave it. If I were an Enneagram 1 instead of an Enneagram 4, I'm sure the issue of "I'm not living up to my values as much as I should" would get to me a lot more. As for my crisis that I referred to, I've just turned 44 and I've mostly resolved it as a result of changing my mind about what values I want to strive for, and coming to a better understanding of which values are authentically mine.
Reading your experience was so insightful. Thank you. I’m in my 20s right now and am going through that quarter-life crisis. I can feel myself running low on energy as everyday I’m constantly demanding myself to do things that matter to me (art, woodworking, design) on projects that impact real people vs. the current job I’m at. I’ll try to give myself some breathers in this quarter-life time. I think that’ll help :) glad to know I’m not alone in my thoughts and experience in life 😊
Ooh thanks! This is really helpful for writing main characters in a story! It has been said that a good protagonist will have "a lie that they believe". Often this is some flaw that they see in themselves that holds them back from realizing their true strength or potential. This lie can be something that was impressed to them by others, or through personal misunderstanding. Either way, it's something that they tend to repeat to themselves like a mantra. So using these imposter syndromes for the different types is a great place to start for identifying a character's lie they tell themself.
ISFP here. YES. And it's exhausting. I'm learning to combat those feelings by practicing complimenting myself for what I've done so far. Patting myself on the back and telling myself I did good on whatever little I managed to do or comforting myself when I did, said, or thought ( or lack thereof )something outside of what I want to be/represent, actually has some healing effects.
as an intj this is way too relatable I had this perfect 100 years of plan but life ruined it then I thought f it I'll just m*rder myself by nov 2023 and guess what I failed like it's official that I'm a massive failure absolutely nothing is going according to how it should no matter how many backup plans I make some things needs to go exactly as planned or else everything will fall apart and that's exactly what I'm struggling with so far the only thing that seems to work regardless of what happens is a short term plan that doesn't have external variables like when I'm not expecting anything from the world and plan revolves around me
As an ENFP, I definitely feel like shit whenever I don't have a crazy idea that I want to work on or if I'm feeling uninspired and unoriginal. This is truer than I'd like to admit.
I'm an INTP and sometimes I don't even bother with reason because it can be exhausting when I try too hard. I overthink things a lot so that's probably part of the problem.
I'm always on the fence about being INTP vs INFP, but surprisingly this helps a lot, I'm never short on opinions, but I do think I don't do anything that matters.
Estj here. It is very true even with the plans and to-do list and reminders. I still think I am not doing enough, though, being the most achieving one in a group of friends or family, I set the standards higher. And that feeling that "I am the kinda person who gets things done" has proven to be right when most people around me prove to be incompetent or can't do the job right or sloppy(in my perspective because I think I could do it better). However, since I used to live in a very stressful atmosphere created by me to me especially in college and it affected my health, now I just set back and relax sometimes and let others take charge of things (though I know they won't do it perfectly) and I try to convince myself to enjoy these unplanned moments. At least when others screw up, they will be the ones to blame😂. For things related to my personal development, I try to tell myself that stressing and self-doubting will only slow the process down. If you are not doing enough, you are just unmotivated, or maybe you need a break. What if you are not doing your best now? It's fine. You can be a normal human and be less productive and unachieved sometimes 😂
Honestly, thanks! This sheds light on the exact thing I’ve been wrestling for the last couple of years in my writing as an INFP. If I don’t feel a burning passion for my interests/hobbies, I think to myself ”Damn, I guess I’m not the right person for this” and then I quit. That’s partly why I rarely develop any new skills or interests anymore; I just leave. Knowing that INFP’s tend to feel like imposters because we don’t FEEL enough, makes me want to push through that stage and keep going.
Extraordinarily, I received some very unexpected good news about work- a good opportunity might be coming my way- but I hadn't seen it coming at all, and as an INTJ I (internally) freaked out for a whole day. I'm focusing on the most urgent and imminent work things but I that "surprise freaking out" is still going on in the background. Your videos are always incredibly on point.
As an INTJ I feel personally attacked lol. Honestly, if not 100%, 90% of my problems derive from not knowing what's going to happen in the future. Every day I am thinking about tomorrow-trying to get out of this mindset but it does feel automatic.
You got the enfj one spot on ,man , applaud seriously, I panic over not crying over a movie scene let alone real life tragedies, as for caring about what I am doing ( medical studies btw so imagine the torture of feeling like the trash of school) that's just been my meddle name for 7 years ,even before I discovered mbti, now explain that non mbti believers
I have both the INFP and INFJ dilemma right now hahah wow, this is so comforting to know it’s normal and i wasn’t just internally beating myself up about not working harder on my passions and where i’m going in life (which I over plan and make back up plans for lol)
i've been struggling for years feeling this self doubt, that actually grew with time but i haven't been able to know why i was feeling that way so thank you frank for this video it helped to clear the idea for me
INTJ here and I felt the whole “I should’ve seen it coming” multiple times when my exes cheated on me or when the few friends I had left me of completely backstabbed me. I was the textbook example of a great friend/girlfriend and I did everything that normally makes people like you but I definitely didn’t see all that coming and it took me years to accept that things don’t go as planned and I can’t control people’s feelings. It took me a long time to understand that if someone decides to be an ass and never give me an explanation as to why I deserved a certain kind of treatment, it’s something I can’t predict cause awful people aren’t logical.
ENFP: I'm currently stuck in that exact rut you're talking about. I always expect A LOT from myself. I am usually a creative explosion, and lately I feel just...empty. The thing is - I actually know the cause of it. The current situation in the society is stomping hard on all of my goals and dreams to the point that for the first time in my life, I have no idea how to get on top. I don't see how things will ever be better. I feel murdered, and I'm scared that I'm spiraling into depression. There's nothing worse than an ENFP losing their spark, because so many people depend on our enthusiasm...and they acutely feel its absence. It's a friggin' responsibility, and I'm not fulfilling it.
Danggg, as an ENFJ that's exactly what I've been feeling about a lot of things lately. I'm also questioning my own happiness like, shouldn't I feel sad because I haven't achieved this? But what am I okay with it? Is it normal? It's so confusing when it's only in my head, but after watching this now it makes sense.
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Thank you so much you inspired me to create my own channel and I hope you continue to make videos like this
hello Frank
I love getting these. They're so thoughtful!
thats a thing? nice :0 thank you for the video. your effort, work, interesting mind, views and facts are delivered in a groovy way. i vibe ^^
Hey I like your background music. What is it?
INTJ here, and I can tell you the guilt at “not seeing it coming” is so real. I feel like I am supposed to be responsible not only for myself, but for all the people I care about. When I can’t measure up to the standard I set for myself in my head, I can feel so inadequate. It’s something I have been working on lately, because I am holding myself up to an impossible standard, and it is not fair to myself or the people around me. Learning when to let go, to let people take responsibility for their own lives, and to give myself the same grace I give others is a struggle, but I think it’s worth it.
Good to hear 😺 - INTJ
As an INFJ, I fully relate to that! What's so frustrating to me about this is that I know the standards I set for myself are impossible to reach and unfair but it's still so hard to be able to look at myself like "I'm good enough the way I am." For so many years, I was my own worst critic, a bully even, and I wondered why I can treat everyone kindly but myself. One of my closest friends who's also an INFJ once told me that I should speak to myself as I do to the people I care about and that was what got me started on trying to be kinder and more lenient with myself. Although, this sense of responsibility for others as well as regarding my standards is still there. It is a journey but just as you said, the struggle will be worth it in the end, I'm sure.
The worst thing about being an INTJ is to be able to "see the future" and warn people about it. Hardly anyone listens, much less acts upon the possibillity we were warning about. This causes our own plans, personal plans, to increase in rigidity and scope, and when our plans succeed it is a hell of a big success because of this insane scope that not a single normal person would take upon themselevs in their right minds. For those we care we make a lot of sacrifice nobody will ever know about. And when the issue we foresaw hit our loved ones they will be able to count on us because we were overprepared, and we will storm in guns blazing and all.
It makes me proud to be so reliable in times of crisis, but at the same time it annoys immensely that half of the crisis are caused because people didn't do their homework.
Another INTJ here. I feel like crap whenever I don't meet my own standards or my goals I expected to reach by now. Even as a kid I was always really mad when I didn't do as well as I thought I should
@@crit2074 exactly! It can be so frustrating when that happens.
Too true about the INFJ/INTJ. In high school, I was one of those people that knew exactly what I wanted and how to get there. Went through all the steps and what I wanted didn't happen as expected. Instead, another path came my way, and I went with that. Many personalities might say, "Oh! What a happy accident!" I say that no accidents are happy.
I'm INTJ, and that's exactly how it is.
I had a life plan since I was a kid and I did everything exceptionally well until a certain point where "OMG, I've got feelings" and couldn't keep up anymore.
Now I treat depression for "failing" and anxiety bc I can't figure out what my future should be.
@@AnaWaterkemper I know what you mean
I'm INFJ, and since 7th grade I said "I wanna be a kindergarten teacher"
Finished highschool, started working on that and hated it
Than I tried translator, I like translating (my first language is Spanish). Droped out
Oh look I can be a videogame developer! There's a college that'll give me an actual diploma for that, and it's free! Oh wait it teaches almost exclusively the company management part, I wanted to be a programmer
Now I'm like
Ok... Librarian or literature teacher? At least it's in the same branch, same college, and the first year is the same classes, so I have time to decide...
I had everything planned and it feel apart immediately
I'm 27 and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and I hate it
Sorry for the rant 😅
I'm an INTJ too, and I only recently managed to confront myself and admit I have a fear of failing. Which is funny, considering I'm usually very comfortable with confrontation to the point that I can tell others that I'm rather honest than polite. And yes, accidents are problems and never happy.
As an INTJ I can agree 100%
This is true.. I had my life pretty planned out until a member of our family passed away. It's like I can't function anymore... I'm just going through the motions right now. I don't even want to plan ahead.
Definitely an INFP and have struggled with so much self doubt and feeling like I am not contributing. I often doubt my feelings, thoughts, and opinions. It's been a battle, but as I've gotten older I've learned habits to stay positive and not take things so personally.
I feel like an imposter all the time. 😄 but not about INFPness.
To me, as an INFP, reading a book is getting stuff done that is of higher importance. But I dunno how to... well, I suck at doing stuff I don't care about. It's only because if external pressure i do that and I do the minimum.
@@mary-janereallynotsarah684 I fill like💩 because I suck at doing stuff I don't care about, even if I care about someone who want me to do them.
Exactly omg same fellow INFPs T^T
This is one of those videos that makes me feel like I'm NOT INFP because I related less to that than most other types in this video because I feel like I'm not living up to my potential (very true), but whether it's important in the sense of the greater good, not so much.
Yeah, when you are in school that really affects kids then
Thanks for your informal videos, Frank. They always deliver, on par with your comic sketches. As an INFJ, I always feel like an imposter! 😂
Kinda sus
Not imposters, just trying to step into a higher role. Having aspirations. There is a difference. INFJs know they are destined toward larger goals they may not be ready for yet.
Sus
@@itsjoshbarrettyeaah sussy baka!
I know what you mean. Sometimes, I've even felt like I wasn't living up to my own expectations of what the son of a rancher should be like when I was a kid. I was so hard on myself when I would fail at something my peers who also were growing up on ranches were doing. In a way, I felt both guilty and relieved when my dad said a few years ago that he was going to sell the ranch and retire. Guilty that I didn't think myself capable of taking the ranch over, yet relieved that the pressure to do so was going away.
My jaw literally dropped when he said INTPs will have impostor syndrome surrounding "I don't have an opinion". I have been feeling like this for past 3yrs, before that I think I had opinion on things, but in past few years I've been feeling that anything can sound right or wrong if a person talks about it long enough, and people can just make anything right and wrong, then what is even right or at least right-er. And that may be I don't care about things enough to have an opinion on something. This has been so frustrating, I thought probably I wasn't smart enough anymore to even form an opinion. This had even put me in a slump state where I'm scared of discussing things with people who share same interests cause I don't even know what's my opinion on those. I've never felt more dumb, pathetic and lonely in my life. Ngl, feels good to know this is a rather common thing that happens to a lot of people.
When he said it I was surprised, I thought he would have said something about not being intelligent enough. Then I read your comment and I remembered a lot of times that actually happened and I was so bodered by how easily I could change my opinion. And now that I think about it I'm literally doing it right now!
as an ISTP I couldn't relate, I'm not worried about my opinons or ideas, If I'm wrong I'll change if I don't know about something I'll learn. Maybe this is an important difference between the Ti doms...
@@jimenamondragon2076 or maybe you don't have imposter syndrome and are confident about yourself. It's not something that everyone has.
@@jimenamondragon2076 So imposter syndrome may not be an issue for you then? I’m also an ISTP and like OP I was pretty set. The more I learn though, the more knowledge I accumulate the less confident I am. I’m reluctant to offer up an opinion on something unless I’ve had an extensive amount of time to research it and turn it over in my head.
Yeah, also an INTP and I thought I so dumb like...why everyone can wording their words easily, and somehow I got easily believe to what people say if they wording it in length..when I was younger. Maybe still I am now, but I learned it in the bad way and I become really skeptic nowadays.
My experience as an INFJ has been that I see myself as someone who should achieve the greatest of things academically, spiritually, and with regard to relationships. People tend to use and abuse my selfless side, but I don’t say anything back unless they are doing it too often or do something for their own gain with some other relationship. I currently don’t have any people I could call friends. I’m in college right now and I don’t want to intrude on other groups’ structures and seem nosy. I have so many future plans but no way to bring them into fruition.
It is for me as: "I am not enough of a doer and not getting where I wanted to be". That is why I was told to write my accomplishments. World is still turning around and life goes on, so that is why I (and other INFJs, may I generalize?) feel there are still have pending things to do.
INFJ here, this sounds way too familiar... It's hard but I'd just step out of my comfort zone, go socialize, and if everything goes downhill well you lost nothing because you already are alone. Being really blunt here. But there is nothing to lose. No stakes. Absolutely nothing. How would you feel in the future if you didn't try? It's horrible at first but if you can find one person who gets you the rest is way easier and worth the initial discomfort, and if not well you tried so there are no "what if's" anymore and you can have a peace of mind not thinking what could have happened
I hope you find good friends, I'm close friends with an infj and she is the best, so there are alot of people who will appreciate you! -infp
It's like you described myself in university 😮
I think you need to meet some INTP/INFP friends. Just go to the library, pick a person who looks like they're daydreaming, and latch onto them. 😂😂
Ooof! As an INFP who is constantly stressing over not getting enough done, I started this video a little skeptical. However, my job is to help people and so not getting enough done often equates to not doing enough of the things that matter. I have had many, many “I destroy everything I touch” “I’ve never helped anyone in my life” “Everything is worse because I exist” spirals- much to the dismay of my loved ones.
Personalizing and catastrophizing are killers. It’s so important to learn to identify your triggers and distortions and find a response that works for you.
Thank you for the video! As always, we get a lot out them.
Once again a spot on video! I'm an INFP and resonate with the inner drive to do something that "matters", but I'm also with the ENFP on the whole "my ideas aren't original enough".
As an ISTP **internal screaming**
this was very accurate
But also I think a large part of it comes from not being good enough, for example say that I was told "Oh hey you did a good job on this assignment your really good at this" unless its something I'm really confident in Ill start thinking "oh no im not i was just lucky im not actually good at this im tricking everyone into thinking im good at this but im not, Im a liar, people are gonna figure out that im not as good at this as I seem to be and theyll hate me, Im living a lie" and then it kinda spirals
As an ENTJ, spot on. When I was in undergrad and grad school I was constantly pulling unnecessary all-nighters because I didn’t think I was “doing enough” and thought I was falling behind of my own schedule. To this day I have a hard time “calling it quits” at night. Just the other week I worked 17 hours OT. Work-life balance has been something I really needed to practice and learn because I had always been on this schedule and prioritizing everything on a list.
Same as an ENTJ when a test is coming up sometimes I think I don`t have enough info so I use up my Fi time by trying to jam the info into my head. I even didn't do the jamming and still got a 94. Plus the 5 point extra credit assignment before that gave me a 99. Actually grew my grade.
As a fellow ENTJ this stuff hit way to close for comfort I once said all those things to my friends when I believe I had failed them. They said they didn’t care, and that it wasn’t only my fault. I always think oh if I get this done I’ll get to enjoy myself, but I never do I just keep on working thinking I’ll enjoy myself later
I LOVE that you kept the type you are talking about posted up during the whole time while discussing that type. It’s so helpful! ❤❤❤
ENTP here. I remember calling myself dumb out loud at work for not exceeding my personal expectation. A coworker heard me and said that if I considered myself dumb, then I must think everyone around me was beyond dumb since, according to her, I was the smartest one there. She looked so sad when she said this. Now whenever I say this which is rare, I always add in that this is based on my personal standards. As soon as I contextualize it that way, I realize that I need to stop being ridiculous and need to cut myself some slack.
I had the exact experience… I used to be ENTP, I’m ENFP now😅
I love ENTPs
Same here as an INTP student. I called my self dumb when i did better than most people but did not reach my own expectation and people think I am sarcastic. I am really not.
@@israfel367 I used to be ENFP now I’m INFP xD
im an infp but I relate..
The Ni one hit really close to home. I entered a deep depression after realizing medical school was not possible. I had mapped out my entire future and wasted years in preparation for it, and accepting that I would be much happier in a different field was rough. Truly a humbling experience… now I have a job that gives me so much “me time“ I feel a lot better even if the pay is awful. Hoping to go into forensics in the future instead!
Your years spent preparing for medical school were not actually a waste of time, even if you feel like they were. You learned things you wouldn’t have learned any other way and you wouldn’t be where you are now if you hadn’t gone down that road first. It may take time but I’ll bet one day you will realize the value in those years. Best wishes for a fulfilling career!
I was the same when I did nursing. Finished the degree and did almost 1 year work before completely quitting. Even though I may have wasted my years, I also feel differently as a person after gaining all the knowledge from nursing.
as an aspiring medical college student (I am preparing for entrance exams) I really admire your effort regardless of u get in or not as I know what hard work it demands but I am sure that the person u are today is because that u were whole hearted in your efforts and strong enough to humble yourself and picking other option in life even though u wanted it so heartly and of course the knowledge never goes to waste, I really hope to have humility as you in myself -INTJ
As an INFP, that was super accurate. Thats totally the kind of thought that prevent me from sleeping as night haha
This is genius. Sobbing rn. Everything's sticking together.
An xntp here, who's been through all the 16 circles of hell due to most-likely-depression - because wtf else can it be - and a naturally strong sense of anxiety and impostorism, coming from the disappointed perfectionism and unachieved goals, since childhood. I've been searching for this realization for so long, I wish I had time to explain: I would literally write a psycho-analysis-essay on my behavior on each stage of my life right here without a hint of embarrassment about trauma-dumping, but the feeling's too strong to let go just like that and the bus's about to arrive. Smiling like a fool. I haven't felt such happiness in a while. Thank you, James.
This video seriously triggered me in a positive way.
intp here too, not sure what i expected but the video was scarily on point. knew i had some degree of imposter syndrome but the "i don't know my opinion" didn't just hit home-it crashed into home lol. really felt seen? and that made me pretty happy too :)
@@AKei1412 same here ! :)
I'm a college student currently. Both ENTJ and INTJ are spot on. as usual i can't figure out which of these two I am. But at least I'm temporarily validated.
maybe your an ANTJ
It might be confusing if you are looking at the lens of the first two functions Ni-Te vs Te-Ni.
Try to see if you are energized or more natural to default to your 3rd function.
So an ENTJ would be Te-Se
while an INTJ would be Ni-Fi
Looking at trickster and demon function also helps.
An ENTJ would have more Fe than Si
While an INTJ would have more Si than Fe.
Let me know if this helps as I'm trying to experiment this idea.
I'm also torn apart from ENTJ vs INTJ on myself before as I'm enneagram 8 which is usually for Te-doms. I also have a well develop Te + Se which makes me looks like an extrovert from my peers. Yet whenever I do social things (meet people, organize programs, etc), I get drained the next day and just rest and listen to music all day long and not doing work.
I was like that before too, but I'm an intj bc I'm introverted. I do relate to entj stuff though. So it's a close second for me😅
@@elizeviktoria How did you know you are introverted? What parameters did you based this on?
It's depends on if I like you 😉 As an INTP, INTJs are basically my favorite type. EXTJs are my LEAST favorite. Pushy, bossy and obnoxious. Make a decision quickly so we can move on. Even if the decision sucks. Ugh! INTJs are a lot more thoughtful and perfectionistic, in my experience.
2:55 ESTJ/ENTJ ( Te types )
4:12 ESFJ/ENFJ ( Fe types )
6:16 ESTP/ESFP ( Se types )
7:34 ENTP/ENFP ( Ne types )
8:46 ISFJ/ISTJ ( Si types )
10:38 ISTP/INTP ( Ti types )
12:08 ISFP/INFP ( Fi types )
15:13 INFJ/INTJ ( Ni types )
You’re welcome 😊
As an INTJ I'm feeling this way right now. I have planned all my life ahead of me but recently I feel like things might not work out the way I wanted them to be. And I'm totally confused and lost right now.
Very accurate for the ENFP: I am a designer, and I do think sometimes that I am not creative and innovative enough... But in fact when I look from a different perspective, I truly am pretty good and I think I shouldn't be so harsh on myself!
I am an ISTJ, and despite being very accomplished professionally, educationally, etc I struggle with feelings of inadequacy all the time. Sometimes I look at where I am in my career and don’t think I deserve to be where I am. I have little kids now and that’s been a challenge in a similar way-feeling like I’m not a good enough dad/husband. My wife (and ENFJ) helps me soooo much. She’s my biggest fan and is always there to lift me up when I’m struggling. I couldn’t do what I do without her.
It's literally what I'm living right now as an INTJ. A bunch on unpredictable things happened, I fell ill and all of a sudden all my self-confidence was shuttered, so I fell into a loop of anxiety and obsessive, self-judging thoughts. I'm trying to live without planning everything or expecting so much from me, but it's DIFFICULT. 😫
Ooh I've been searching this subject recently. When starting up my therapy business I had major imposter syndrome, even after already being on placement and working with people who were very happy after their sessions. I said in my head 'fake it til you make it', which doesn't even make sense, because I'm not faking it one bit lol. But it helped, and gave me the initial boost. Its going well, but occasionally I feel this. BTW, really appreciate your word of the weeks, they're so helpful and inspiring.
As an IFNP I chose nursing because helping others was the only worthy choice for me. I also get lots of positive feedback from others telling me I’m an “angel” and thanking me and that makes me smile but I’m also thinking…”but I could do better.” Nursing is really taxing but when I daydream about doing something easier I get this fear that it won’t matter enough to me and I’ll also get bored. The escape for me with the way I think and feel that causes me stress is to get outside and walk or hike. Ah, the great outdoors!
I'm an INFP and I already laughed seeing the title.
As a fellow INFP, I laughed hard at 'Oh, man, I can't get anything done. Anyway, I'm going to go read a book.' It's so true. I'm supposed to be working at the moment, and here I am, watching UA-cam...
Me too. It’s a never ending struggle to have this “doing-repressed” thing in life
INFJ here who is also neurodivergent, I’ve come to realize that I think I’ve had imposter syndrome (at least unconsciously) for much of my life. I’ve known about my ADHD and Autism since I was about 8 or 9, but that coupled with my secondary function as an INFJ being extroverted feeling makes me painfully aware whenever I stick out like a sore thumb to others in public. My imposter syndrome has gotten worse over the past year thanks to my now ex-ballet studio, and the form it took for me were things like: “I can’t keep up with my classmates” and “I *should* know what I’m doing, but I don’t.” It seemed to me like everyone my age and younger at that studio were all amazing, and perfect, and able to pick up things super quickly, while I constantly felt like a failure who was falling behind. It got so bad that about one or two months before I left I started to get extremely stressed, aggravated, and felt like I was losing it. Now I’ve transferred to a new studio with much more understanding and compassionate teachers and have been improving both in my training and my mental health over these past three months. Imposter syndrome is still something I have to overcome, but moving to a more reassuring environment has definitely helped me. :)
ISFP- it’s true, sometimes when I start thinking about how maybe what I’m doing isn’t “good enough” it’s a reflection that if I cared more (were more passionate) I would go that extra mile without a second thought. And the depressing rabbit whole that is questioning why I’m not moved by work is heartbreaking at times. Other times, a motivator.
And I tend to jump back with thoughts of “it’s meant to be how it is and that’s good enough, even more than enough. Because it exists”
And I think even works that aren’t up to standard, and I’ve regretted sharing/making, are alright and shouldn’t be dwelled on to much. It’s natural that not EVERYTHING one makes or takes action on will define how they truly are/feel and want to be reflected to the world. Could think of it as an example of what not to do, or a lesson. Either way, it’s okay
INFP is so true. I'm a 'gifted kid' who is just starting to have to struggle for the first time in my life. I feel so bad about myself because I know that if I just applied myself I could do well. It often makes me feel like I"m a horrible person or I'm not trying hard enough.
If you feel a similar way - please know that you don't have to be good at this or that. You are a valuable person no matter what. Keep doing your best!! No matter how good or bad that might be
I’m an ISFP. not the same thing but very similar. Thanks, you’re a valuable person too :)
INTJ here, and quite frankly I agree with this. Some things I had a plan for the next 3 years and all of it I cancelled and decided it wasn't what I wanted anymore (even though it's something I really wanna do) all due to a close family member of mine unexpectedly was diagnosed with epilepsy. The whole, I should have seen it coming bit was very much how I felt for the past 3 months. I feel like I don't know where I'm going in life anymore, or even what I want to do. That I can't even finish a simple task on time to the standard that I expect myself to be for others.
I'm considering getting help and finding someone to talk to, hopefully I'll be able to get back on track.
This is identical to my situation dang also an intj
I adore these more analytical, conversational videos. They really get me thinking about myself and the people I know.
Much love from an infj!
INTJ - I failed. Life did not go as I planned. My first big choices in life turned out to be huge failures, with a repercussion of 10 years of poverty and homelessness. It took me another 10 years after that to finally fix my life. 20 years later I am finally at the starting point where I should have been 20 years ago.
Imposter syndrome is my life now. Because I am a huge failure who lost so much, but on the outside I look like a strong woman with success.
Kind of loving the old energy that feels more like we're sitting down with Frank while he talks about types and various topics.
Though I could probably listen to him talk about lint for a half an hour and be enthralled.
I felt this very deeply. There are many times as an INFP when I feel what I do doesn't matter, it's so frustrating.
This gave me an existential crisis bc I'm an INTP and the anxiety I could relate to the MOST was the EXTJ "I'm not getting enough done here." Like I kinda loathe how my INTP analysis paralysis slows me down in making decisions that should be easy.
I just retook the test and it did come up as INFP instead of previous INFJ and I watched both and though I do relate to a degree to INFJ imposter syndrome, the INFP hit it RIGHT in the bulls eye. Everything you said is how I feel. I care so much, but I don't do bc I have so much fear and mental and emotional blocks preventing me to move forward and it's eating me alive, making me even less capable to get up and march on.
Now I know where does that anxiety of "I didn't do enough today" come from. My type is ENTJ and that was so true for me. I used to have an imposter syndrome and see my achievements as no big deal, and that's luck .. etc, I believe a lot of us have had that at some point in our lives, but I still have that specific imposter syndrome of ENTJ " I'm not productive enough" I know how that feels, but I also know how to address it. That's what make me doubt my type sometimes, I'm not playing the role so well or I'm not a CEO for instance.
That was great, Frank. This video have the vibe of your old thoughtful Thursdays videos, I really miss those. Thanks for the video and the valuable information.
I feel like Frank would be like that chill teacher that u forget is a teacher and not a student
The ISFJ one made me laugh. My mom's an ISFJ, and she always kept a cleaner, nicer household than like all of my friends' parents growing up. They would always compliment it and be like "wow it's so nice here" and so on, but my mom always thought she was a messy person because she would have one "pile" of disorganized stuff (like papers, mail, notes, etc) on one table in the corner of the room. Like mom, nobody cares about one miscellaneous grouping of loose items, the rest of the house is super clean and well-decorated lol.
This makes feel more fake because I'm an ISFJ but I'm not so organised like your mum😂
"My house is a MESSSSSSS!!! OMG, I'm SOOOO sorry!!" When actually there's just a stray newspaper and an empty glass on the table. I always joke that they should never come to MY house. 😅
As ISFJ I understand your mom. We are kinda 'perfectionists'. Everything must be perfect, flawless, spotless😅
Better thank Se Nemesis+Fi Critic for that. An ISFJ that integrated their shadow is proactive when keeping their physical environment squared off, including themselves. Also Fi Critic holds ISFJs to such high moral standard that even themselves sometimes can't maintain.
Im also an ISFJ. I’m not a mum but when I’m at work I make sure the areas are wiped clean more so than my colleagues. I also worry about starting my love life and having kids one day because I’m not organised enough.
Frank, as an ENXP this encapsulates everything I am feeling rn. Running out of ideas is the worst feeling for an Ne user, it's like losing one's flair.
Yes, life feels fake without meaning or creativity and being trapped unable to process everything or do anything but basic survival = going crazy as an ENFP
As an INTJ this was spot on😂 I literally have zero clue. I am just jumping from one place to another, with my goals.
I plan so well, but my life..just takes so many turns. And the blindside..soo real..
Thanks for this more formal yet still informative as usual video, it is spot on! And don't worry about the phrasing for the Fi types, it fits perfectly with this dread of never contributing with anything of value 😢
But you took my suggestion about keeping the types names in the corner, so yay! 😊
Thisis is so true. As an infj, I always feel responsible for not seeing things coming especially when it's related to a person revealing their true colours or being taken advantage of.
INTP here! although I don't think I have Imposter Syndrome myself, I still find these types of videos quite interesting. I think it would be really cool if you could also do one of how either social anxiety or anxiety in general (GAD) affects the 16 personalities. I have severe social anxiety myself and I'd love it if you could make a video about that. Thank you!
Sensing type here (ISTP), I rarely have impostor syndrome. I’m way too busy in my head most of the time
I would also love to see a video about how social anxiety affects all the types!
@@muhammadraiyanhaziq I'm an INFJ, I relate to that too cause my head is always preoccupied with other things 😅
Sometimes I want to shift to my favorite anime (and be friends with the villain who tries to murder the protagonist, *twice.* With a freaking small nonexistent gun)
If you know, you know.
If you don't know, the hint is my pfp
@@heavenlysadist Speaking of function stacks, we have the same function stacks. But with the two functions in reverse order
ISTP : Ti Se Ni Fe
INFJ: Ni Fe Ti Se
The family member I know who’s an INFJ is none other than my dear father. His inferior SE is obvious as when we’re outside, I’ll have to tell him where he parked his car and he was like “You have good memory”. He’s also known for his family values and kindness. Meanwhile, I’m quite a practical person who can come off as snarky as I tend to have a bit of wisecracks here and there. We do get along, but I’m the most quiet person in the family.
Speaking of anime, I like anime too. I like romance genres in manga (dun judge me)
as intj, I definitely relate to that imposter syndrome. my life in the past year has been apathetic and demotivating for not being good enough in my job. I was moved into another branch of what I'm working as, which is also nice and I somewhat like it, having fun at times, but it was hard to see how untalented I am compared to my peers(I knew I average but damn, now I feel lower), so I'm kinda functioning with a hatred/apathy towards my personal works I used to enjoy. I'm so tired after work, putting all my mental effort into it that it leaves little afterwards for myself(I burn myself becauseI want to be good and responsible, to show I'm not as bad). I can also relate a lot to the istj one, I have been feeling like that as well, I don't feel very organized or systematic, I feel my life's a mess no matter how much I try to keep things organized or have a mental plan about doing things.
I hope therapy can help me get over some of the issues I want to better myself at about myself or at least help me get my passion to work on my personal stuff back because it's very important for me to finish it. 😔
I can relate to this (besides the istj part). I have recently experienced this at my job. I gathered information from different coworkers and I took those advice to create a routine that would be more efficient, and works for me. Then I find out my supervisor doesn't like that expects me to do things a certain way, even though that slows down my work significantly and makes the job of those in the hospital all the more harder. Which is why I did what I did, it benefits everyone along with myself. On top of this, I have been messing up in another area. I was trained for it, however, I wasn't given the whole information for me to be competent in my job. I figured if I'm being trained, I'm getting all the info I need and should have questioned if that was everything. So now, my mistakes have affected people. All of this made me feel incompetent and not good enough, an idiot who missed the obvious. I only have to hang on until my college classes start so I can eventually leave for the career I truly want.
I was in the middle of writing a poem for my channel and I felt stressed cause I couldn't come up with a good idea I often feel stressed because of it but I do extremely well when not under pressure and your explanation about enfp made me realise something although I can't explain it I feel relieved and am happy so thanks for making this video 🙂❤️❤️
Edit: I just came up with a poem after relaxing a bit
Edit 2:
I am in an uncontrollable rage
With these unreasonable requests
They put me in this cage
Saying it's for my best
They didn't do the bare minimum
Yet expect me to comply
Knowledge isn't wisdom and this proves me right
Using violence for punishment
They treat me like a pest
So, I show my resentment unlike the rest
Thank you for reading my comment ❤️❤️
Oh that's exactly me! I also write poems and it's such a horrible feeling when you just can't write or write "good enough" for yourself. Also I'm a horribly perfectionist and if my poem just doesn't feel perfect I can't feel satisfied at all.
@@bhavanikasomu5866 it's really good! It gets straight to the point and the symbolism really clear and spot on. You've done a great job! But if you want some constructive criticism, I'd say maybe you can work on your pacing and the length a little bit more though shot poems also do work great if done properly. Other than that, it's a solid poem. You should be proud of yourself.
Edit: do you want to read one of mine?
I am an ENFJ, and knowing how to feel and act in a situation is very stressful if I don't know how to play it right. I have two big problems right now, and I know the right thing to do, but it includes some heavy conversations. I get mad at myself if I don't get those conversations right and I screwed up. You would think those conversations should be the least of my problems but I will obsess about them.
ENFJ here ! I struggle with that too and im glad im not the only one feeling that way 😭 it just becomes stressful and gives me a headache because im making up all the possible scenarios depending on my reaction or what i'd say in that particular situation. I just wish i could only have one "clear" answer when faced with certain situations ☹️
@@yoonminnie1049 Damnn guys u all so on point😭❤️✨:D
I am pursuing something I like yet was constantly unsure whether to pursue it and was seeking multiple reassurances...even now if I react rudely (which I do unintentionally) I can't stop but feel I overreacted or I could've been nice....if I see someone needs help and I don't help that person...I can't help but think about that person and their needs....I did stop considering others and giving time to self but no can't happen...took test twice yet ENFJ both times! anyways trying to ngaf over small things
You people are preciousss, tc my heroes ♥️❤️💕💖
As an enfj thats so real. Dont worry we're in this together! We will get through this 💪🙏❤
@@yoonminnie1049true, true! For me I feel like whenever I think about the possible outcomes, after that I'm just like its okay but then it really affects me because I feel negative emotions but I dismiss them and say to myself stop these emotions. And i feel like that really makes me feel like lost and "cloudy minded" as if everythings unclear and nothing feels real. I just get so lost and want someone sharp minded to take over my body and tackle my problems to become my regular self. Its really hard to explain but I hope it made sense 😭😭
ISTP here. While the Ti-dom imposter syndrome does affect me to some extent, I think I relate more to the Fe-dom one in a weird kind of way. Since I tend to intellectualize my social interactions I'm often worried I don't give the "appropriate" response to whatever is happening around me (but then again autism masking probably has a big role in that lol).
This was a really interesting topic Frank! It shows how our personality type plays into so many different areas of our lives.
And of course this reiterates how helpful studying MBTI can be. Not just for improving our relationships with others, but MBTI has countless other applications.
Omg INFP is soooo accurate. I feel that "nothing I do matters" and "I'm actually harming people" ALL.THE.TIME. yep. That me. Nail on the head. And it makes me shut right down.
It's so real it hurts. Being an ISTP it bothers me not knowing something of interest to me, and it's worse when someone questions me that because I study social sciences I should know. Perhaps other personalities do not feel that need to want to understand a lot, but in my case it is very real that sometimes it is stressful
You got my ISFJ spot on. I always think I can do better. Constant and Never Ending Improvement 😅
INTJ/INFJ’s pride themselves on introspection and prediction because we’re always thinking about every little detail so when something blindsides us we feel pathetic, like we let our guard down for a moment and everything came crashing down and now we have an anxiety of always staying on top of everythibg
I'm an ENFP and sometimes I can be completely empty of ideas and creativity or see my ideas as inadequate, which often makes me wonder if something is all right. Then I start to blame myself or feel incompetent because I feel like this is something I have to do. I can say that these times make me a little panicked but then everything goes back to normal.
Your section on INFPs was crazy-accurate. I’ve always wondered why my husband (INFP) would seem to have these moments of literally asking, “Am I even doing anything that matters? Do I matter?”, and my ENFJ self is just wondering how to respond to this internal crises 😆 this helps me to understand where these self-doubt moments come from, and looking back, I can see they align with major life/role/expectation changes.
INFJ here, you nailed it!!!
INFJ here, stuck in the "i don't know where I am going / living my life day by day without a plan and in utter panick", it's stressful and terrifying
It's really interesting how the imposter syndrome always occurs in our talent areas^^ Counter-intuitive at first glance but it makes sense... that's where we attach our identity on and therefore a vulnerable area... It's a good reminder/eye opener to put things back into perspective! 👍
im an infp but I relate with every thought so much. I think I just have low self esteem and carry it around in all aspects of my life... but its getting better :)
Right one. When I first got into typology I was thinking to myself 'naaaan I can't be an ISFJ I'm way too messy and disorganised' andn then I saw your video's and the ones of objective personality... It's all about what you feel responsible for and what you are afraid of :)
Thanks again great video FJ!
This hit hard as an INTJ.
I had stuff planned for my career and I actually got into this project position I was interested in. But people were really awful then and never let me do work. I tried everything in my power but there was so much heirarchy and personal bias. I just couldn't do anything. One day my boss directly told me I am not good enough for things, and it hurt me a lot. I couldn't it any more. I quit my job and came home (I was in a different city). It was the first time I didn't follow my plan and did things on a whim. And since then my life has gone downhill only. I've been unemployed for 6 months and nothing seems to work out for me. I feel so awful and pathetic. I honestly thought I am a disgrace as an INTJ.
I’vd had that three times in three jobs. I was under achieving and not in my right role. But it got better and I get asked for high level jobs now, it just took longer than I thought. (Maybe i was too young ?) So hold courage, seek well, in the mean time find a voluntary position or create one that fits your expertise and skills.
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I have the utmost respect for INTJs like yourself and your ability to make a plan and stick with it (in a world with a lot of people that are flying by seed of their pants that are happy to blame their misfortunes on others rather than taking any personal accountability). I'm not an INTJ myself but maybe I could suggest making a new plan for yourself with the realization that that plan may need to be modified, accordingly, as human behavior is one thing that you can't control. And, maybe being a worker that works on a set project is the best move for you but doing research and working for a company that values it's employees so your intelligence and hard work are valued as a part of the team. I hope that helps at all and I hope your next plan comes to fruition.
ENFP here, you summed up my most recent bout with writer’s block perfectly😂😂
Thanks for this video FJ! I’ve been trying to figure out my type for ages, but I think my overpowering imposter syndrome was confusing and misleading me to dead end after dead end. Now that you’ve kindly explained how each type experiences imposter syndrome differently, I think I have a much better chance at finding my type now! 😊💕
So true (infp).
And nice background BTW
The INFJ one was spot on. I had a bit of an identity crisis last year and my main thought was “What am I doing? Did I ever do anything worthwhile?” But now I’m all good 😎
You absolutely got me at the opinion thing with ISTPs, I always feel like my opinion's gotta be justified because that's what I feel other people are like, and not *knowing* why I think something bothers me to no end :')
As an ENTJ I think I have thought all of these at some point. Thanks Inferior Fi. I do get the INFP and ISFP alot because it`s hard to work towards my Fi needs. Again thanks Fi. 14:04
Haha INXJ spot on. Divorce changed my landscape and all of a sudden I was sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean having to find land again.
My bf (INTP) likes to bring up an example of when we moved into a place where the wifi wasn’t great. At first I was like, “Ahhh, this is great. We can disconnect from the world and relax… it’s peaceful.” And then literally a half hour later I was trying to research something and lashed out “Gosh!!! What the hell!? We can’t live like this.”
Basically, life HAPPENS to us; we don’t happen to it. Having to imagine a whole new future is very distressing to us.
Love this video. Extremely timely. I find myself in this situation often. Thank you, Frank!
INFJ here, and yeah even before being aware of mbti
Literally EVERYTHING you said, down to the intonation of those monologues. It's insane 💀
"Where is my life going...? I- What am i doing?! W hat is hAPPENING to me??! I should've seen that coming" Yeah sounds about right 😂
I'm an INFP and I recognized myself also in the ESTJ/ENTJ (not being productive enough) and and also in the ENTP/ENFP (I'm not creative), but then you explained INFP and it all makes sense 😅 What matters to me most is my writing and the thoughts of not being productive enough or creative enough only come up with things like writing that matter a lot to me. 'I should be putting in all of the effort to reach the goal of becoming a succesful author who has something to say with their stories'.
As an ENFJ, this is the most accurate thing ive ever seen. The exact example, of an acquaintance dying happened to me last year. This is eerily accurate
INTJ here. But like most of the vids, I found ISTJ and INTP relatable here too. Tbh, I often doubt if I'm really an INTJ cuz I do plan specific occasions and events but I have never made elaborate plans about my future at any point in my life. Even now that I'm 31 years old and doing a job, people ask me what I want to do next, how I want to evolve myself, why I'm stuck in the same place for years. I stayed on my 1st job for 7 years and didn't think of switching to a better job despite the low salary cuz I didn't want to leave my comfort zone. I only recently moved to a new job on the recommendation of my own Boss as he was shutting down his own office. Last week even my new Boss on my new job had a conversation with me on a similar topic. He asked me why I didn't go for M.phil after doing Masters, I told him I got a job right after it and then I just stuck with the same job until recently and just didn't go back to studying. He advised me to take up some courses to refine my skills and reach a better position in the sector. But it seems like too much of an effort to me. 😅
I feel you and I’m ISFJ. I don’t like changes at all so if it’s comfortable I will stay there “forever” until I’m comfortable enough to make a change which for me can take long preparation.
Well, I'm an ENFP. I have a degree in ballet, and a diploma in aerial yoga, have choreographed for a musical, have been trained in piano, cello and singing, I hold a BSc, 2 MSc and a PhD in Neuroscience, have positioned two people from different scientific fields to internships who opened their careers, have been a tedx speaker coach, have done environmental activism, have played in professional theatre, approached a nobel laureate in a plane and asked to take an interview from him (which I did two days later), have had a crazy emotional and intimate life, including long and meaningful relationships, have been to conferences but also to unstoppable festivals and parties. What I'm saying is that I constantly have a new idea to seek something, to connect dots, to create experiences for me and others, to pursue an artistic and scientific field in life so I can contribute to them. Yet..... Ever since I was about to finish my PhD I've constantly felt like a fraud and I have this existential stress that if a day passes and I haven't come up with a new idea for my work, I haven't pursued one new thing of knowledge, I haven't completed a milestone in art, then I'll be stuck and lame and behind everything and not useful for society or myself for eternity... All the above are the result of both an absolute excitement to experience all fronts of life, but also an obsessive compulsive behaviour of underlying stress dictating me to never stop because 'I'll stay behind'. :-/ It's been at least 10 years that I've been secretly thinking I'm not good enough, really good enough at anything, that I'm just ok and that the only real strength I have is to deviate the attention of people who belong in one field/one group of something, to my abilities/background/knowledge/experiences of the various other different fields I also belong so they won't discover I'm not good enough in the particular field we are all together.... To scientists I narrate things about art, to artists I narrate things about science etc.. meh.... Good luck everyone! No one deserves to have imposter's syndrome, if they are conscious and moral enough to do a reality check of themselves to assess what's realistically good and what needs improvement. It's not a nice feeling at all.
As an INTP, i totally agree. I've been to this phase multiple times and makes it a downfall for someone who gives pride on giving opinion to everyone who's expecting from me.
Thank you so much for uploading this
Thank you for this video. It bears a message many people who cares for me tried to tell me all the time. (being an ENTJ)
ENFP here (who is more introverted) REALLY feeling the INFP imposter syndrome. I have so many things I'm passionate about that when I'm not actively working on one of those things, I feel like I'm failing. It's like I know I want to share my values with the world, but whenever I'm overwhelmed and cannot be working toward that, I constantly feel guilt that I'm not working my hardest to change the world for the better.
"They plan so much they don't actually have to live life" Woah, that hit me hard as an INTJ
INTP here, at first I thought it was ridiculous, but this is actually really true, sometimes it really bothers me or makes me feel insecure if I can’t grasp a problem or have a good stance on something. Though also I hate when I have low talent because I hate how I can’t understand how to do things and how developing talents are hard :))
these are so accurate
as a mix of ISFP/INFP
My bf is always telling me im doing too much and putting too much on myself
because I like, obligate myself to doing things i dont even want to do just bc it would help someone else.
and I am always down on myself because I havent been able to pursue my dreams due to lack of financial stability... but literally all I think is
"what am I doing with my life?" or I look in the mirror and say "I hate who I am"
you hit the nail on the head here...
you got me at the INXJ one, my life had a huge turn, the plans i had for years have been collapsed and after that my overthinking got worse and i felt lost and couldn't figure out what I'll do after. i tried to get myself out of my dark thoughts but didn't work. i even restudied the cognitive function cuz i doubted my type and my personality, but then i got on my feet again and trying my hardest to get my life together. this was something new for me because i never thought my plans, my goals and everything I've worked for would vanish. but some things are out of our control, we cannot be sure of everything.
Also, as an INFP, I had a very serious internal crisis lasting about a decade or so, starting in my mid-twenties, that was founded on the combination of "my values are wrong/not good enough" and "I don't know what my values are, therefore I don't know what my identity is."
I think you sort of touched on that in your description of us.
The issue of "I'm not taking enough action in accordance with my values or to bring my values into reality" never has gotten under my skin *quite* as much. It still bothers me to an extent if I let myself think about it too much, but to be perfectly honest, I think I suffered so much burnout in the process of my existential/quarter-life crisis that now I just have to be more judicious about what issues I allow myself to give emotional energy to and what I allow myself to get into a tailspin about.
Yes, I could be participating in phone banks and marches, and yes I could have reined in my emotions and behaved more maturely in that one interaction the other day, but I have a finite capacity for self-flagellation--or self-improvement, for that matter--and I depleted quite a bit of it during my crisis. This is what I can do with the energy that I have available to expend. This is what I got--take it or leave it.
If I were an Enneagram 1 instead of an Enneagram 4, I'm sure the issue of "I'm not living up to my values as much as I should" would get to me a lot more.
As for my crisis that I referred to, I've just turned 44 and I've mostly resolved it as a result of changing my mind about what values I want to strive for, and coming to a better understanding of which values are authentically mine.
Reading your experience was so insightful. Thank you. I’m in my 20s right now and am going through that quarter-life crisis. I can feel myself running low on energy as everyday I’m constantly demanding myself to do things that matter to me (art, woodworking, design) on projects that impact real people vs. the current job I’m at. I’ll try to give myself some breathers in this quarter-life time. I think that’ll help :) glad to know I’m not alone in my thoughts and experience in life 😊
Ooh thanks! This is really helpful for writing main characters in a story! It has been said that a good protagonist will have "a lie that they believe". Often this is some flaw that they see in themselves that holds them back from realizing their true strength or potential.
This lie can be something that was impressed to them by others, or through personal misunderstanding. Either way, it's something that they tend to repeat to themselves like a mantra.
So using these imposter syndromes for the different types is a great place to start for identifying a character's lie they tell themself.
ISFP here. YES. And it's exhausting. I'm learning to combat those feelings by practicing complimenting myself for what I've done so far. Patting myself on the back and telling myself I did good on whatever little I managed to do or comforting myself when I did, said, or thought
( or lack thereof )something outside of what I want to be/represent, actually has some healing effects.
Guessing FJ feels like an imposter after all this success.
YOU DESERVE THIS, SIR!
as an intj this is way too relatable I had this perfect 100 years of plan but life ruined it then I thought f it I'll just m*rder myself by nov 2023 and guess what I failed like it's official that I'm a massive failure absolutely nothing is going according to how it should no matter how many backup plans I make some things needs to go exactly as planned or else everything will fall apart and that's exactly what I'm struggling with so far the only thing that seems to work regardless of what happens is a short term plan that doesn't have external variables like when I'm not expecting anything from the world and plan revolves around me
As an ENFP, I definitely feel like shit whenever I don't have a crazy idea that I want to work on or if I'm feeling uninspired and unoriginal. This is truer than I'd like to admit.
I'm an INTP and sometimes I don't even bother with reason because it can be exhausting when I try too hard. I overthink things a lot so that's probably part of the problem.
I'm always on the fence about being INTP vs INFP, but surprisingly this helps a lot, I'm never short on opinions, but I do think I don't do anything that matters.
Estj here. It is very true even with the plans and to-do list and reminders. I still think I am not doing enough, though, being the most achieving one in a group of friends or family, I set the standards higher.
And that feeling that "I am the kinda person who gets things done" has proven to be right when most people around me prove to be incompetent or can't do the job right or sloppy(in my perspective because I think I could do it better).
However, since I used to live in a very stressful atmosphere created by me to me especially in college and it affected my health, now I just set back and relax sometimes and let others take charge of things (though I know they won't do it perfectly) and I try to convince myself to enjoy these unplanned moments. At least when others screw up, they will be the ones to blame😂.
For things related to my personal development, I try to tell myself that stressing and self-doubting will only slow the process down. If you are not doing enough, you are just unmotivated, or maybe you need a break. What if you are not doing your best now? It's fine. You can be a normal human and be less productive and unachieved sometimes 😂
Infp was spot on
Honestly, thanks! This sheds light on the exact thing I’ve been wrestling for the last couple of years in my writing as an INFP. If I don’t feel a burning passion for my interests/hobbies, I think to myself ”Damn, I guess I’m not the right person for this” and then I quit. That’s partly why I rarely develop any new skills or interests anymore; I just leave. Knowing that INFP’s tend to feel like imposters because we don’t FEEL enough, makes me want to push through that stage and keep going.
Extraordinarily, I received some very unexpected good news about work- a good opportunity might be coming my way- but I hadn't seen it coming at all, and as an INTJ I (internally) freaked out for a whole day. I'm focusing on the most urgent and imminent work things but I that "surprise freaking out" is still going on in the background. Your videos are always incredibly on point.
As an INTJ I feel personally attacked lol.
Honestly, if not 100%, 90% of my problems derive from not knowing what's going to happen in the future. Every day I am thinking about tomorrow-trying to get out of this mindset but it does feel automatic.
You got the enfj one spot on ,man , applaud seriously, I panic over not crying over a movie scene let alone real life tragedies, as for caring about what I am doing ( medical studies btw so imagine the torture of feeling like the trash of school) that's just been my meddle name for 7 years ,even before I discovered mbti, now explain that non mbti believers
I have both the INFP and INFJ dilemma right now hahah wow, this is so comforting to know it’s normal and i wasn’t just internally beating myself up about not working harder on my passions and where i’m going in life (which I over plan and make back up plans for lol)
i've been struggling for years feeling this self doubt, that actually grew with time but i haven't been able to know why i was feeling that way so thank you frank for this video it helped to clear the idea for me
INTJ here and I felt the whole “I should’ve seen it coming” multiple times when my exes cheated on me or when the few friends I had left me of completely backstabbed me. I was the textbook example of a great friend/girlfriend and I did everything that normally makes people like you but I definitely didn’t see all that coming and it took me years to accept that things don’t go as planned and I can’t control people’s feelings. It took me a long time to understand that if someone decides to be an ass and never give me an explanation as to why I deserved a certain kind of treatment, it’s something I can’t predict cause awful people aren’t logical.
ENFP: I'm currently stuck in that exact rut you're talking about. I always expect A LOT from myself. I am usually a creative explosion, and lately I feel just...empty. The thing is - I actually know the cause of it. The current situation in the society is stomping hard on all of my goals and dreams to the point that for the first time in my life, I have no idea how to get on top. I don't see how things will ever be better. I feel murdered, and I'm scared that I'm spiraling into depression. There's nothing worse than an ENFP losing their spark, because so many people depend on our enthusiasm...and they acutely feel its absence. It's a friggin' responsibility, and I'm not fulfilling it.
Danggg, as an ENFJ that's exactly what I've been feeling about a lot of things lately.
I'm also questioning my own happiness like, shouldn't I feel sad because I haven't achieved this? But what am I okay with it? Is it normal?
It's so confusing when it's only in my head, but after watching this now it makes sense.