20 years ago, after my husband passed away, I took the leap and started travelling by myself. One of my first trips was a 7 week stay on a cashmere goat farm in a small town in Italy. While I studied the language before I went, it was less than adequate to say the least, but I persisted, visiting the small villiage near by on a daily basis to buy groceries and to sit and drink coffee in the local cafe. By the end of my stay I had made friends with the shop keepers and of course the regulars at the cafe. That experience changed my life and I went on to several other countries and have made many friends all over the world. Now in my early 70's, I am considering a trip to Japan and other Asian countries and doing so solo. I salute your bravery and wish you great success in your endevours and new home in Japan. ❤
I hope you take the chance and visit Japan. After losing my wife, I felt an intense sense of guilt that prevented me from travelling. Last year, I finally decided to follow my dream and return to Japan for the first time in nearly thirty years. Quite possibly the best decision I'd made for myself. It was strange that for the first time in as long as I could recall, I felt at peace in the bustling world of Tokyo. Hoping to return shortly and even considering making it a permanent move eventually.
I’ve been traveling for 30 years and I’m also a solo traveler and female. I’ve been going to Japan for three years now at the age of 69. I will continue to do so till I can’t!,,
Consider visit and stay in Seoul. Not only city area but countryside. People think Korea and Japan is very similar country each but very different one also. Mountain and seaside have unique views and atmospheres each. You could find True colors~~~ Simply. With Brave!! 🌏
I'm japanese in my late 40s. I admire your ability and courage to move forward. Japan’s pros and cons from a foreigner‘s point of view are very interesting.
The death of my 17 year old son in 2019 sent me spiraling. I didn’t (still don’t) know who I am or what I want, but I know there’s no longer a going back. The past is completely fractured. I moved to Iceland in 2023, will move to Norway later this year. I start to get an itch that tells me it’s time to go on. I’ve thought about buying a house in Japan. Who knows? The comments here and your videos show me that there are a number of people like me, which is somewhat comforting. Thank you.
I understand the spiraling feeling and not knowing how to move forward. ♥️ I also discovered, through posting this video, how many people have this feeling. I hope you can have a good more to Norway xxx
My sincere sympathy. I lost my youngest daughter to cancer in 22. She was 37. We had been battling for 7 years. I know the hole it leaves in your soul. My older daughter has a strong character but a weak constitution. She got COVID 3 times during the Pandemic. I am still terrified. The other 2 are doing fine. The pain never really goes away, it just becomes a numbness inside. I was in the phillipines in April last year, did not like it. In February went to Peru. It was nice and hot. Summer is Dec, Jan and Feb in Peru and winter June July and August. Really not winter, just goes down to low 70 F. If you want to see the smallest bird in the world go to the Madrid Botanical gardens. There is a hummingbird size of your thumb that competes with the bumblebees for flowers. Also loved the street art. I want to go to Japan to swim with the turtles at ama beach and get a Benki and a Yukata. Gotta stop writing now. My dogs are fighting all over me🤣.
@sarahsouth2987 The human brain does what it has to do to when faced with a traumatic event that is too overwhelming to immediately process. That depth of grief I would imagine might engulf and completely overwhelm a mother, like a tsunami, leaving her feeling tempest-tossed and adrift. Please be gentle with yourself. I hope you had a positive experience living in Iceland, and I hope your move to Norway will be even better. My sincerest hope above all else is that, when sufficient time has passed, that you find your way back to yourself. Trauma turns most people's lives upside down and it can make you unreconizable to yourself when you look in the mirror. It is true that you can never go back to the time before the trauma occurred, but you can keep moving forward as your brain continues to try to make sense of what has happened, and how to heal enough to begin to move forward. That may or may not resonate with you~ Please take care and best wishes on your coming transition~
I grew-up in an orphanage in the US, and always had lots of people around me. As an adult I'm happy to be alone and never feel lonely. I lived in Australia for 5 years and got my M.A. degree at Macquarie Uni. After that I went back to the US and got reverse culture shock. Being an orphan I was never really home-sick until I left Australia. I had developed a different way of seeing the world, and didn't like the US anymore. I actually felt more Australian. The second time I left the US I went to Japan and fell in love with the culture and people. In Japan I didn't have to deal with the hatred and idiotic politics of the US. I found the people of Japan to be kind and considerate. I no longer had to worry about guns and crime. I felt safe! As for a social life and finding friends I got a part time job chatting in English at an English chat cafe. I also advertised online to teach English in a cafe, and would be hired to meet students at Starbucks for coffee, chat, and English lessons. I think the most important thing is to be brave, and it's ok to make a mistake. Just laugh at it, learn from it, and keep getting out there. Dave in Kanagawa
Hey Dave in Kanagawa! What an awesome story. You lived in Australia too! The English chat classes can be really awesome. I will do as you say and continue to get out of the comfort zone.
Hi there, I am a single Japanese female working and living alone. I have enjoyed your videos and it is such an inspiring thing to do to move to other country to change your life. Being a single, I too feel lonely most time, even here at my own native country. You are not alone, since Japanese tend to keep distance to each other and open up one’s mind to very few people. Good luck and I am sure someone like you will find good friends while you stay in Japan and when the time you leave Japan comes you will feel so sad to be separated from them😊
I'm an Australian too, and I lived in Japan for 5 years and thought I could go home any time. Until the pandemic. When I returned to Australia, I had the worst reverse culture shock. However, I am coming to Japan in June. Being an artist, I am introvert so, being on my own is not a problem.
Blimey, yes! The reverse culture shock . . . I recall bowing to people as I met them (neighbours/friends) in my local town of Perth (N.E. Scotland lol!) then thinking no! I'm meant to wave, so bowed and waved . . . Took me ages to feel settled in Scotland again.
Introvert here, too. I find it easier than some, I think, to be alone. Although, it's always nice to meet kind, friendly people who are interesting, also.
I'm a Japanese woman who has been living countryside of Australia for 7 years. I moved here in my late forties. Our position is the opposite, but I know what you say in this video. When I feel lonely, I eat a Japanese curry. I joined some local activity groups and wanted to interact with people to learn their culture and language while getting to know them. But I found it hard to understand what they talk about in a group. I decided to step back and change the way to learn the language. I won't give up on my goal that being able to have meaningful and deep conversation with people. Your UA-cam gently pushes me forward to keep me going. Hope you enjoy your journey.
I lived in Japan for 17 years and still have a house there, in Shizuoka. I’ll move back there permanently when I retire. I think you’re doing all the right things. Making Japanese friends rather than seeking out other foreigners is the way to go. I met a lot of friends in local bars and izakayas and in shared interests like sports and riding motorcycles. If you make the effort, as you are, to assimilate to Japanese culture, people will be kind.
If I am feeling lonely I go for a walk in a nice park. The increaae in heart rate and being with some nature improves my spirits and I find that people walking in parks are more likely to smile and greet each other.
As a 50 year old, Introverted-extrovert from the UK. I feel like Japan would be perfect for me, but my lack of language skills always hold me back from visiting. You are living the dream of millions! You are not alone, we are all cheering you on! 🥰
When they say "right", then you say "right" even if it's "wrong", then you'll be perfectly fine in here and make you realize the Japanese language may not be important in your life as you may be thinking right now.
In Germany we have "Volkshochschule" to learn such things after work, think UK has something like that too? :D Was nice to learn Japanese there with some like-minded people and didn't cost a fortune (20€/month).
Dear Chani, it's very difficult to put into words and I don't think I can explain how absolutely moving, encouraging, inspiring and transformational it is to see a video on UA-cam of someone else who has an interest in Japan who has made the leap, and is figuring things out a step at a time. You're gradually setting out a blueprint for people all over the world to gather their courage and live out their own dreams too. I pray you continue to find joy and wonder and beautiful connections like the one you shared in this video that keep you going and growing!
I’m Japanese and I’d like to comment that your Japanese at the ticket booth was very clean and good! Lovely video, I will be checking in to see how you’re doing 😊 I hope you keep enjoying your life in Japan❤
I am 78 and lived alone since 1976 after my divorce. I have never ever felt lonely. I don’t understand that emotion. I love being alone and if I want companionship or conversation I just leave my house. I constantly find it in the world.
I lived in Kamakura back in '90 which is a looooong time ago haha. I have been back many times since and find new things to see and do. On my last trip I went with my brother. While staying at a place in Tokyo we would pass this tiny bar with a kooky interior and a couple of people sitting at the counter. Knowing that Japanese tend to keep to themselves I didn't want to intrude on their neighborhood space. Still, my brother wanted to go in. I speak some Japanese but him, none. First thing he did was buy everyone at the bar a bottle of beer! Between my Japanese and Google Translate we had a fun conversation with the 2 men closest to us as well as the "mama-san" owner behind the bar. I'm glad my brother made the decision to go in.
We were drinking wine as students and an elderly couple saw us and ordered 12 beers. We were too greedy and accepted the treat. Beer after wine brings things not fine: vomiting !
I also lived in Japan in 1990 and have been back many times since. My last trip was earlier this month and I loved it as much as ever. I used to go to a tiny bar in Ikebukuro and the owner would take a photo of every customer each night, then get the photos developed the next day, so if you returned you could see your photo in an album on a bookshelf! There must have been several hundred photo albums - tt was such a sweet gesture. Have you watched the movie, "Perfect Days"? There's a wonderful Mama-san in that and the film is incredibly beautiful.
I'm a grown man, married and dad of two girls and a dog. I was born in Japan but our family moved to the west when I was a kid so I relate to many many things and observations in your videos. All of your videos are informative and touching. I'll admit some of your personal moments make me cry. You have such an inspiring and beautiful soul. Thank you ❤
Thank you for this. After losing my wife, I had to learn how to be alone without being lonely. It's a complicated journey. But ironically enough, I found myself more at peace while alone in Tokyo than I have here at home in the US. Your stories are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing them. They mean more than you'll ever know.
When I'm lonely in Japan, I try to remind myself that many others are, too. So much here, in fact, that restaurants like Ichiran for solo ramen dining, are very much a thriving thing here. So, strangely, knowing that so many others are alone, helps me to feel not so lonely. I also try to focus on personal goals - like to-do lists and things. :)
I am getting on in age now, but decades ago when I was in my early 20's, I left my home in Italy and took up an apprenticeship in Japan under a master shoemaker. While I learned a lot, I probably wasn't equipped to deal with the experience of living alone abroad with zero connections (and this was before smartphones, etc). I spent 5 days a week at language school in the morning, and learning under the master in the afternoons. I remember being so numb and isolated outside of work. Something about staying in Tokyo was just profoundly lonely to me, possibly because I came from a "high contact" culture, and Japan is the exact opposite. When I finished the apprenticeship, I was so happy to leave and return home. Now, as a much older person, I have found a home in South Korea and frequently travel over to Japan, and enjoy every minute of it. Japan has changed a lot since my apprenticeship days. I sometimes think that if I'd been more prepared, I really could have enjoyed Japan a lot more in my youth. Thanks for your video.
I can relate so much to your story! It is so hard to live alone abroad, especially in the time before smartphones. When I first came to Japan when I was 18, I didn't really appreciate the opportunity. I have certainly enjoyed living in Japan a lot more now that I am older.
As you already have some Japanese language (from your earlier trip when you were younger) this is a great advantage, even if your Japanese is not perfect. ( hope I havent offended you). Once language starts to flow people become more confident with you. I wish you all the very best in this adventure. I moved to GErmany to be with my German boyfriend, speaking very limited school girl German, some people were very accommodating with my language skills, and strangely enough it was the Turkish lady who did alterations, the ladies in a shoe shop who had learned English in school, the man at the market I met and was so helpful and patient. I eventually met several English and an Australian married to Germans and not only learned from them but began a new style of living. My husband loved the tea parties and the curry I used to make for him. Very sadly, he passed away and I decided to come back to Australia where my daughter and granddaughter live. People asked me “but why would you want to leave this cultural city - their understanding of Australia was limited, but I had family here.
I've been watching your videos for a few days now and I am so impressed with your courage and sense of adventure. Well done! You may not know it but you are an inspiration to a lot of us.
Way to go Chani! I can't tell exactly when you came to Japan, but you've certainly been here shorter than me... about 39 years! Let me tell you that Japan only gets better with time. Your fearlessness is an inspiration.
When i feel lonely I get on UA-cam and watch people and their lives. It makes me feel grounded and connected. Reminds me that there really is other life beyond my little town and little house.
Really enjoying your content! Hang in there, I went through the same thing when I moved here from Hawaii in 1993. The people here are shy, especially because of the language barrier. But, once the ice is broken, they really open up. Things will get much better as you get acclimated👍 Ganbatte ne! Aloha from Yokohama🤙🏽
Just like with your search for a job to move to Japan, you take action and put yourself out there. You are a brave soul and I for one could benefit from following your example.
Definitely your Japanese is way better than mines, and that helps to navigate life in Japan. But reconnecting with friends from back home are such comforting like eating home cooking again.
I've found that many people feel the same and are just not reaching out because they don't want to be bothersome, or are worried about looking desperate, or something equally foolish. It's a very human way of thinking, which means you can count on others feeling that way too, and more often than not, people are happy to be engaged and ready to reciprocate. Good that you took the chance!
31yo from Brisbane. Have forever felt that as extroverted as I am, I never really get that feeling of satisfaction from being around friends. Then, I realised the friends I had weren't genuine. Now, I feel that making the first move and showing my genuine intent to make a friendship has led to making stronger friendships. I have also wanted to move to Japan and renovate an akiya too, especially as my husband is a software engineer and could easily find work. But alas, I enjoy your videos and hope you continue to find your belonging with the big move!
I've lived in Japan for about 20 years, like you in the Kansai region. My first year was really hard. Strangely, what helped me was the Bruce Springsteen album, The Ghost of Tom Joad. An album full of songs about loneliness and heartache somehow always lifted my spirits, I guess because it showed me that I wasn't alone in finding life hard. And I came to really enjoy being on my own, in my own company. Though I've married since then and have a family I still see the ability to feel comfortable by myself as maybe the biggest gift of my first year in Japan.
I’m so glad that I found your channel , Chani! I’m in Canada and years ago had a friend who went to Japan to teach English too . She found it incredibly hard ( she was only there about a year ) she said people were polite to her but she always felt like an outsider . Your attitude is so right) make the first step to make friends , as scary as it might be .. it will pay off . You are so brave and I really admire you ❤️She was too shy to try . As for me I recently lost my husband of 36 years and struggle with loneliness. But I reached out to my Tai Chi club and attend almost every day . Tai chi is so relaxing and beneficial plus the social aspect is so valuable. Maybe someone here that’s struggling might consider looking into it . ❤
I enjoy all of your videos but This video really resonates with me. My wife’s Japanese and we go to Japan once or twice a year. I always see these bars or pubs that you can’t see in and I want to go in but am always too intimidated. I’m quite introverted but seeing your experience has made me a bit more brave for our next trip! Also we’re considering moving to Japan when our kids go off to college. So I’ll keep watching your videos and learning. And cheering you on! Ganbatte!!!
This was great timing. I’ve lived in Japan for a long time and in the last few years have started to feel lonelier. I have a tendency to isolate. Reaching out to others and more importantly actually putting myself in social situations where I can meet new people is the best way. Avoid hanging out with only gaijin.
I have no option here because I don't know where the gaijin are at! But honestly I really wanted to meet local friends because I heard that foreigners can come and go. The local people have been super supportive and I really am gratefull for them.
@@ChaniJapanwhere is “here” ? Are you in Wakayama somewhere? I’m between Osaka and Kobe. High population density so there’s no excuse to not get out there.
G'on yersel hen, as they say in Scotland. I moved abroad on my own too at 60, and what you say resonates with my experiences. Keep up the great posts. Everything you're doing is difficult but you'll be rewarded for your positivity.
When feeling lonely or simply bugged off with things I go for walks along the beach, especially for the sunsets. There are always people walking their dogs or simply enjoying the beach. A simple wave or 'hello' does wonders for my spirits.
" loneliness " Your sharing really makes me feel deeply You bravely go to a new place You bravely face your loneliness I'm so touched and envious I feel the warmth with tears I hope I can do it myself Thank you for your candid sharing
I find it great that you speak about loneliness after moving abroad. I think that is a very important topic. Most people are imagining leaving their home country very romantic. So did I when I left Germany for the UK. After 6 months there I foud a job and had some contacts and 3 new friends . But I had to learn that the Brits are not keen on having foreign friends at all. I tried several things to get in touch with the locals and had the hope for friendships there. I booked some courses and after those I invited even the people of the group for a "sit together and talk about the course with tea/coffee and cake" - out of 25 invited people , nobody came. After some years I gave up. It hurts more to be somewhere else and being lonely than being in your home country feeling loney. At home you make a call and meet people. Or you go to the city and have a friendly chat here and there and you feel much better. However, I wouldn't want to miss this experiece since I met many very nice people there. After 7 Years I went back to Germany, only one friend is still my friend. The others (German friends) were not keen to have me as friend anymore when I return to my home town. However, I learned so much that I would move abroad again - maybe not to the UK anymore but somewhere else :)
I just love your videos, Chani. Thank you!! I admire your bravery and sincerity. Sometimes when I'm lonely, I'll go to a dog park and watch the dogs run around. It always makes me smile, and I've met some really nice people at dog parks. I don't have a dog, but I love animals and people love to talk about their pets. Great job with the karaoke!
I remember the first time I had dinner by myself, the first time I went into a movie theater by myself, the first time I went to another country alone (for a month of travel), the first time I studied abroad in Paris alone but living with a French family, the first time I packed up and went snowboarding alone, and the first time I went out sightseeing in Europe by myself. I even remember the first Christmas I spent alone, and the first holiday I took alone. Each initial experience doing something alone felt odd. Once you do it enough times, you don't think twice about it. Decades later, doing things alone feels more normative than it does to spend time with other people. After moving to another country by yourself and buying your home on your own, singing karaoke seems like it might be easy (although you chose a vocally challenging song!). In my 40s, I learned that I'd rather be alone and lonely than be with other people and feel completely alone. You're inspiring so many people (I read the many comments to you)!!
Hey Chani! Another great video thanks. Over the years, I’ve found that being direct and upfront about my desire for friendship has been the best approach. In university I approached a girl and said that I was looking for a Christian community (since I’m a Christian), and she ended up introducing me to her community and being my best friend in college. Then in Japan, again I told a group of people at my church that I was looking for a friend because I was feeling lonely. The girl next to me said she was wanting a friend too, and now the both of us do everything together. ❤
I came to japan way way before the internet and in fact i didn't even invest in a landline phone for about 6 months. (60,000 yen). If my weekend got long and lonely i would go to the nearby department store and start on the top floor and look at everything going down floor by floor until i hit the street. Then also at a nearby shrine at the very top was a tiny sad zoo with a sad lonely bear in a tiny sad cage and sit on a bench with him nearby. (His name was Taro). That would kill several hours. I think Little house on the Prairie was on NHK at 6, english shows were rare on t.v. so i watched whatever was on.
I'm a kiwi living in Sasebo , bought and renovated a house with my husband and I work remote. When feeling lonely I take my dog to the busy dog park and its surprising how people are open to having a chat when you have a dog 😅 Also funny how I know all the dogs names in the neighborhood but not their owners. Thank you for the uplifting videos. Enjoying reading the comments too. All the best 😊
Lifting weights always puts me in a better mood. Starting a new project can work for me too. Really, the only two things that 100% reliably work (temporarily) are lifting and time. Loneliness is kind of an evergreen problem. It keeps growing back harder every year. I love your videos. Thanks for posting them and allowing me to travel and experience japan vicariously.
Your videos documenting life in Japan are so interesting! I know you're still feeling your way there, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be more energetic and animated in your videos. Still, I know how it must feel to be so new to doing videos. Anyway, I love how you showcase the culture and daily experiences. I've always been fascinated by Japanese food. Could you share some recommendations on what to buy at a Japanese grocery store for someone who's new to Japanese food, snacks? Maybe do a video translating the products in a grocery store. And perhaps provide some tips on how to prepare some simple yet delicious Japanese dishes as well in the future. Your insights would be incredibly helpful.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I have not been over seas but have traveled a bit around Australia seeing friends or family over the years. It was not uncommon for my mum to stick me and my sister on a train to see some uncles or cousins they would meet us at the station. In the past I struggled with depression anxiety and loneliness, I have spent most of the last several years alone and single in some form. I ride motorcycles and trail walk with groups around the ACT where I live. I only just finished my uni and opened my own business last year
You're brave and you're also not alone in feeling lonely sometimes. So many people across the world, of many ages, are living alone and deal with loneliness, especially in these present times, I think. (even in their own home countries) I'm glad you went in and did Karaoke! (it's also practically the national past-time in S.Korea, too.) When feeling lonely, think of new things to try (like the karaoke), taking a class with others on things you're interested in, maybe a group tour/travel outing, join an interesting club if you can or start one, as you personally travel maybe ask to do little interviews at various interesting places for your channel...meeting people who would be glad to share what they do with others, etc. Just stay engaged, curious and interested in your new home, explore and meet people along the way! There are so many possibilities! I wish you all the best!
I am in a group of friends who make quilts for those in need. It's a blessing to have an activity in common. Also I started classes at a local center, and am making friends who enjoy the same things.
I'm really happy that I have found your channel today and enjoying going through the older videos. I think your cat is beautiful so having a pet is one way to prevent loneliness. I think your Karaoke was great and you have shown what a good sport you are by joining in, to the people you just met too. 😊
Thank you for your content…I get lonely sometimes, but then I think back to all the relationships I’ve had in the past and I don’t miss the snoring roommates and cleaning up after them and the walking on eggshells because someone’s in a bad mood. No, I LOVE my alone time. If I do get lonely, I will go read a book by a river or take myself out to dinner and strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to me at the bar. 😊😊😊
I am so glad I found this today... I moved from South Africa to Ireland at age 60. Still battling to get on my feet and find a job and a home, and even my nearest relative does not understand how hard it is. Thank you for letting people know about the loneliness - I wouldn't say that to the family member, but may show him this video. Now to catch up with all your videos - thanks again. Regards, Dianne
I am transitioning to a life in Japan with my beautiful (Japanese) wife in Osaka. This video hits hard and is so relatable. Thank so much for producing and posting this!
You are physically alone but you are not lonely because you have a beautiful cat, co-workers and a community. I am born in a city and I'm always surrounded by crowds, but I do feel lonely at times. Your vlogs have inspired me to go Japan and consider a life there. Thank you.
I was in Japan for almost 7 years about 10 years ago. I studied for 2 years and working in the japan game industry for the rest of the stay. The loneliness broke me mentally (on top of the working culture, but mainly the loneliness) Even tried joining those foreigners in Japan meetup but meeting up once a year doesn't really help. - What I learn is stay away from the big city (especially Tokyo). The further away you are from it the warmer the people are. Feeling lonely in a busy city is the worst. - Get a group of close friends that you can hangout daily if possible. I'm a full on introvert but even an introvert need an inner circle of close friends (even if its just one person) to share the talk about the culture shock and stuff. Can't keep up bottling it up, because one day you will explode like I did.
I really want to thank you for your videos. it is very personal and refreshing to hear your vulnerability, yet with passion, strength and personal resolution in life. I thank you for opening your wonderful life in Japan. I hope i get to one day meet you as i am journeying my way to learning the language as a middle aged man; yes, i believe it is more than 33%. i am one of the lonely ones unfortunately but i always see hope like you do
I'm really introverted, so I often don't mind being alone. But like you, I do have a cat and that helps. When I feel lonely, I like going for walks, being in nature helps a ton. Seeing new sights as well. Thank you for the video!
Those look like awesome pancakes! I like to exercise at the gym or walk on the beach. I always feel better afterwards. Recently, I am learning to sketch and paint. I'm surprised that I've created some interesting art. Next month I'm going to take a live class with an instructor I have health issues and depression. I am surprised how much the art has become a healing therapy! I encourage anyone with depression or anxiety to give art and any creative expression a try
love the video. I was in the same boat when I moved here from Canada. I joined clubs like a fishing and train yes I like to watch trains. my home is now Wakayama I like it here. But there is always apart of you thinking of home.
I just want to say came across your UA-cam page a few days ago. Absolutely love your content. So real and honest. You are such inspiration. Thank you for sharing your journey and taking us along. 🌺
The narrative in this video in particular - really touched me and I connected with you. I feel connected from your brutal honest descriptions of how and why you feel the things you do and say. Makes me want to hop on a plane and return to Japan. Learning the language is the hardest and I want to learn - hoping your dream of being an online virtual teacher for persons like me comes true. Thank you for sharing your story on your UA-cam channel. Know it makes a difference. ❤
I so admire your positive attitude! With your beautiful cat Millie, you are in safe hands, she’ll always sort you out 😻😻😻 ( I am also owned by a handsome ginger cat!)
Very moving video and perhaps something a lot of people would benefit from knowing they may feel lonely, but there are others who also feel the same. By the way loved that you opened that door and found some new friends who made you step outside your of your comfort zone 6:57
Dear Chani, I absolutely love your videos and moreover, I am extremely impressed with your frontier spirit. You truly are an inspiration! I lived in Japan (Tokyo) for 15 years, from 1989 until 2005. I remember the first time I went into a Japanese pub, izakaya. Before I went in, I was very nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. But after I went in and got settled, just like with your experience, everyone was very friendly to me. That first experience initiated my deep interest in Japanese songs called enka, which is considered as a Japanese style blues. I learned about 200 of them and whenever I went into an Izakaya, once I sang a song at karaoke, I was able to make some fast friends. Keep making videos of your wonderful Japanese journey.
I've been living in Japan since 2018. I was lucky I moved to Japan with my workmates/friends to work for the same company, thus I didn't feel so alone. 3 years later, after I moved to my new employer, suddenly I was on my own. I still catch up with my friends from my previous employer, but I felt the need to find a new community. I found it by playing badminton with mostly Japanese people. They were very nice and friendly they teach me new skills on how to improve my badminton skills. That's how I try not to be consumed by loneliness here in Japan. It's a real thing, and I am happy you found a way how to deal with it. Cheers! 🎉
I really enjoy your videos and watching you bravely do what so many only dream of doing. Life is always about the journey and not the destination and those are the things that create our memories. You could be back here living in a small unit and still be lonely. But you have not only found a way of making new friends but are in another country and embracing life and doing it all. :)
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. Feeling lonely in a new place is natural, but it seems you’ve understood that and taken the first steps to make things better - by showing your “true colors”
Aussie back again - Firstly must say that I really do like the way you both film and tell a story, it's quite different and in a good way. That kara oke bar is a fantastic find. And you're dead right, the people seem super friendly. Loneliness was certainly something that I experienced in Japan, as did others that I spoke to. Some get around this by mostly associating with their own countrymen. I didn't want that though. How you're going about things is commendable.
I've been alone most of my adult life (single mum so not REALLY alone I guess) so I learned early about eating by myself, going to movies etc. I can't ever remember feeling weird about it, but maybe I did. Now I prefer it. But a tip if you are feeling lonely is to go someplace where you feel comfortable - a book store, a museum etc. - and strike up a conversation with a stranger asking their pick for a good book to read or if they know anything about an artist or whatever makes sense in the place that you are. People who frequent the same types of places often have things in common and people who might not normally speak to a stranger will often respond to a request for help or information. Even a short conversation or a smile from a stranger can ease loneliness.
i am curious how you learned Japanese? I mean they're many ways, but i want to find a way whats suitable for me, since i plan to move to Japan too, but my Japanese is just.. 20% and yee.. If you have some tricks or can tell me how you did it, it would be so nice
You are such a breath of fresh air! I love your story, I love the style of your videos, I love the tone of your voice as you narrate. I hope you continue documenting your journey for years to come.
Just dropping by I find your site when I was searching for Akiya on YT your journey is inspiring I love Japan and now you give me something to hope for in the future
Woohoo good for you Chani adventuring into the Karaoke bar. I’ve never done it myself however I would love to. Honestly it’s not about being the best singer, nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s great to give things a go and give people a laugh and enjoy yourself.. I don’t have advice for loneliness, sorry. I’m married, have 2 daughters, 2 son in laws and 3 grandchildren. I look after 2 of them every Monday. I love my crafts and have a studio in the back yard, in a good ol Aussie shed. I do all sorts of crafts and love my alone time down there creating. Every morning whilst having brekkie I love to catch up on the latest You tubes of the ones I follow and seem to be gathering more to my list quite often as they pop up. I watch quite a few you tubers in Japan and that’s why I think yours popped up. I’m really enjoying seeing your life in Japan and wishing I could do the same however I have too many commitments here and will have to be satisfied with taking trips to Japan. Maybe in another life….. cheers for now, Kaylee in Queensland 🫶🏼
Thank you for the video! I’m transitioning to work in Japan in July. Im still waiting for Japanese immigration to decide my fate (LOL), but if I do I will be working the country side in a village of less than 1000 residents. Thankfully the company had been very helpful and informative and providing company housing. They don’t speak English and I am not fluent in Japanese, but it will be force me to speak the language. It will be an interesting experience.
How exciting! I hope you love the beautiful Japanese countryside. Don’t be afraid to try new things and join in with the local people as much as you can.
I’m really happy for your bravery and for taking the first step! I actually have a story to tell. 6 months ago, I moved to Portugal to study. And for the longest time, I thought i was gonna live in a city named Bragança. I thought it was perfect for me, as it wasn’t too small. But only a few weeks before i moved, i discovered that my campus was located in a satellite town called Mirandela. But the room was already booked, so i stayed in Bragança for about a month. In Bragança, i made friends with my Georgian flatmate and his friends as well. I loved living in Bragança as well. But almost every single weekday, i would have to go between bragança and mirandela, picking up a bus quite early in the morning, and coming back home late at night. It was quite exhausting. I still remember my first reaction to when i first saw Mirandela. I had a lot of panic attacks, as adjusting to the move and getting used to my new surroundings was already challenging enough, but moving to a completely different town, which was even more rural, was very shocking. To top it all off, I didn’t have any friends there, and came out of classes with a feeling of emptyness. Sometimes I would have doubts about studying in Mirandela, and wondered if i should go back to studying arts in Bragança, or if i should keep pursuing game development in Mirandela. In the end, i chose to believe that things WOULD get better, that i would adapt to Mirandela, that i would make friends, and that i needed to pursue something more challenging and employable. So i made the choice to fully move to Mirandela, and one day, a classmate noticed that i was very sad and struggling a lot, and reached out to me. And after that, i made a lot of friends, and now i like living here. I can’t say it’s the perfect university life that I envisioned, but i lead a great life. Belchior helped me a LOT during that difficult time. He’s my favorite singer, and what made his songs so therapeutic for me was because of his own life experiences about moving somewhere far away. “I will stay in this city, I won’t go back to the countryside. Because i can see coming the wind, the smell of the new season […]” - Belchior, Como nossos pais
Eliminating loneliness is a big theme. What I would recommend is cleaning the outside of your property. To contribute something in a public place. It doesn't matter how small it is. It may be a good idea to grow the flowers facing outside. Please gradually increase your opportunities to greet local people.
I so admire your courage girl - kuddos galore! I love Japan - the food in particular and then there is the feeling of safety - I visited last year as part of a small tour group but did a few things alone and felt so liberated - even in the evening in tokyo. As far as dealing with the lonely times - well it's part of life- I'm now a widow and those time are more frequent but I find distracting myself with books, outside walks, visits to new places, shopping, writing and watching you tube all help. The longer I'm alone the more at peace I become. Well then there's the two cats!! Much love and luck to you.
I really enjoy your videos and commend your bravery for your move to Japan. Your Japenese is excellent. I spent some time in Narita and was able to visit the Imperial Palace. I also worked down in Yokosuka for a couple of weeks while in country. My favorite thing to do was shop at FamilyMart, I was always amongst the locals when in one. When I'm lonely, I like to get out in to nature and hike or walk. I'm always out there with others and the sounds of others and nature really help 🩵 Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Oh and I LOVE the karaoke night you found 🎉❤🎤
20 years ago, after my husband passed away, I took the leap and started travelling by myself. One of my first trips was a 7 week stay on a cashmere goat farm in a small town in Italy. While I studied the language before I went, it was less than adequate to say the least, but I persisted, visiting the small villiage near by on a daily basis to buy groceries and to sit and drink coffee in the local cafe. By the end of my stay I had made friends with the shop keepers and of course the regulars at the cafe. That experience changed my life and I went on to several other countries and have made many friends all over the world. Now in my early 70's, I am considering a trip to Japan and other Asian countries and doing so solo. I salute your bravery and wish you great success in your endevours and new home in Japan. ❤
I hope you take the chance and visit Japan. After losing my wife, I felt an intense sense of guilt that prevented me from travelling. Last year, I finally decided to follow my dream and return to Japan for the first time in nearly thirty years. Quite possibly the best decision I'd made for myself. It was strange that for the first time in as long as I could recall, I felt at peace in the bustling world of Tokyo. Hoping to return shortly and even considering making it a permanent move eventually.
I’ve been traveling for 30 years and I’m also a solo traveler
and female. I’ve been going to Japan for three years now at the age of 69. I will continue to do so till I can’t!,,
Consider visit and stay in Seoul. Not only city area but countryside. People think Korea and Japan is very similar country each but very different one also. Mountain and seaside have unique views and atmospheres each. You could find True colors~~~ Simply. With Brave!! 🌏
I'm japanese in my late 40s.
I admire your ability and courage to move forward. Japan’s pros and cons from a foreigner‘s point of view are very interesting.
Oh, and I would love to hear the "Japan’s pros and cons" from a Japanese person. :)))
It's natural to feel lonely being alone, but nothing is worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone.
Amen to that!
I couldn't agree with you more!!
Very very true❤
false
so true I often feel like that.
The death of my 17 year old son in 2019 sent me spiraling. I didn’t (still don’t) know who I am or what I want, but I know there’s no longer a going back. The past is completely fractured. I moved to Iceland in 2023, will move to Norway later this year. I start to get an itch that tells me it’s time to go on. I’ve thought about buying a house in Japan. Who knows? The comments here and your videos show me that there are a number of people like me, which is somewhat comforting. Thank you.
I understand the spiraling feeling and not knowing how to move forward. ♥️ I also discovered, through posting this video, how many people have this feeling. I hope you can have a good more to Norway xxx
My sincere sympathy. I lost my youngest daughter to cancer in 22. She was 37. We had been battling for 7 years. I know the hole it leaves in your soul. My older daughter has a strong character but a weak constitution. She got COVID 3 times during the Pandemic. I am still terrified. The other 2 are doing fine. The pain never really goes away, it just becomes a numbness inside.
I was in the phillipines in April last year, did not like it. In February went to Peru. It was nice and hot. Summer is Dec, Jan and Feb in Peru and winter June July and August. Really not winter, just goes down to low 70 F.
If you want to see the smallest bird in the world go to the Madrid Botanical gardens. There is a hummingbird size of your thumb that competes with the bumblebees for flowers. Also loved the street art. I want to go to Japan to swim with the turtles at ama beach and get a Benki and a Yukata. Gotta stop writing now. My dogs are fighting all over me🤣.
@sarahsouth2987 The human brain does what it has to do to when faced with a traumatic event that is too overwhelming to immediately process. That depth of grief I would imagine might engulf and completely overwhelm a mother, like a tsunami, leaving her feeling tempest-tossed and adrift. Please be gentle with yourself.
I hope you had a positive experience living in Iceland, and I hope your move to Norway will be even better. My sincerest hope above all else is that, when sufficient time has passed, that you find your way back to yourself. Trauma turns most people's lives upside down and it can make you unreconizable to yourself when you look in the mirror.
It is true that you can never go back to the time before the trauma occurred, but you can keep moving forward as your brain continues to try to make sense of what has happened, and how to heal enough to begin to move forward. That may or may not resonate with you~
Please take care and best wishes on your coming transition~
I grew-up in an orphanage in the US, and always had lots of people around me. As an adult I'm happy to be alone and never feel lonely. I lived in Australia for 5 years and got my M.A. degree at Macquarie Uni. After that I went back to the US and got reverse culture shock. Being an orphan I was never really home-sick until I left Australia. I had developed a different way of seeing the world, and didn't like the US anymore. I actually felt more Australian. The second time I left the US I went to Japan and fell in love with the culture and people. In Japan I didn't have to deal with the hatred and idiotic politics of the US. I found the people of Japan to be kind and considerate. I no longer had to worry about guns and crime. I felt safe! As for a social life and finding friends I got a part time job chatting in English at an English chat cafe. I also advertised online to teach English in a cafe, and would be hired to meet students at Starbucks for coffee, chat, and English lessons. I think the most important thing is to be brave, and it's ok to make a mistake. Just laugh at it, learn from it, and keep getting out there. Dave in Kanagawa
_ Yes, having the courage to take the initial step. Good on you!
Hey Dave in Kanagawa! What an awesome story. You lived in Australia too! The English chat classes can be really awesome. I will do as you say and continue to get out of the comfort zone.
Hi there, I am a single Japanese female working and living alone. I have enjoyed your videos and it is such an inspiring thing to do to move to other country to change your life. Being a single, I too feel lonely most time, even here at my own native country. You are not alone, since Japanese tend to keep distance to each other and open up one’s mind to very few people. Good luck and I am sure someone like you will find good friends while you stay in Japan and when the time you leave Japan comes you will feel so sad to be separated from them😊
Thank you - you are very kind
I am so glad you opened that door and that there were friendly faces on the other side.
Me too! It was very scary but I'm so glad I went in.
@@ChaniJapan🌞👍
I'm an Australian too, and I lived in Japan for 5 years and thought I could go home any time. Until the pandemic. When I returned to Australia, I had the worst reverse culture shock. However, I am coming to Japan in June. Being an artist, I am introvert so, being on my own is not a problem.
Blimey, yes! The reverse culture shock . . . I recall bowing to people as I met them (neighbours/friends) in my local town of Perth (N.E. Scotland lol!) then thinking no! I'm meant to wave, so bowed and waved . . . Took me ages to feel settled in Scotland again.
HI, what city are living in?
@jsmith6259 Bendigo, which about 2 hours by car from Melbourne
Introvert here, too. I find it easier than some, I think, to be alone. Although, it's always nice to meet kind, friendly people who are interesting, also.
As I began watching your work...my heart worried about your lonely times. But, your spirit opens new doors and friendships for you. Great job!
I'm a Japanese woman who has been living countryside of Australia for 7 years. I moved here in my late forties. Our position is the opposite, but I know what you say in this video. When I feel lonely, I eat a Japanese curry. I joined some local activity groups and wanted to interact with people to learn their culture and language while getting to know them. But I found it hard to understand what they talk about in a group. I decided to step back and change the way to learn the language. I won't give up on my goal that being able to have meaningful and deep conversation with people. Your UA-cam gently pushes me forward to keep me going. Hope you enjoy your journey.
So glad you are doing your best! Deep conversation is always so hard ♥️
ネバーギブアップ!!!
Oneesan!
❤❤
I think you should come back
UA-cam is what tv used to be, nice content without all the flashy editing and headspinning nonsense. Relaxing vid.
You are so true.
Good point.
I lived in Japan for 17 years and still have a house there, in Shizuoka. I’ll move back there permanently when I retire. I think you’re doing all the right things. Making Japanese friends rather than seeking out other foreigners is the way to go. I met a lot of friends in local bars and izakayas and in shared interests like sports and riding motorcycles. If you make the effort, as you are, to assimilate to Japanese culture, people will be kind.
If I am feeling lonely I go for a walk in a nice park. The increaae in heart rate and being with some nature improves my spirits and I find that people walking in parks are more likely to smile and greet each other.
As a 50 year old, Introverted-extrovert from the UK. I feel like Japan would be perfect for me, but my lack of language skills always hold me back from visiting.
You are living the dream of millions! You are not alone, we are all cheering you on! 🥰
You can get by without speaking Japanese. Google Translate is useful, but you do need a good Japanese friend to assist with any Japanese documents.
When they say "right", then you say "right" even if it's "wrong", then you'll be perfectly fine in here and make you realize the Japanese language may not be important in your life as you may be thinking right now.
Im sure there's plenty of ex pats that never learn the language
In Germany we have "Volkshochschule" to learn such things after work, think UK has something like that too? :D
Was nice to learn Japanese there with some like-minded people and didn't cost a fortune (20€/month).
Start learning! I started at 58. Slowly getting better. It's challenging, but fun.
Dear Chani, it's very difficult to put into words and I don't think I can explain how absolutely moving, encouraging, inspiring and transformational it is to see a video on UA-cam of someone else who has an interest in Japan who has made the leap, and is figuring things out a step at a time. You're gradually setting out a blueprint for people all over the world to gather their courage and live out their own dreams too. I pray you continue to find joy and wonder and beautiful connections like the one you shared in this video that keep you going and growing!
Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding where I am coming from. I really appreciate it ♥️
I’m Japanese and I’d like to comment that your Japanese at the ticket booth was very clean and good! Lovely video, I will be checking in to see how you’re doing 😊 I hope you keep enjoying your life in Japan❤
Thank you so much!!
@@yishihara55527 うわぁ…随分ひねくれてるねー（笑） 相手のネイティブ言語で対応する優しさも考えられないの？こんなコメントを書いて心が狭い人だわぁ…
日本人の本性が出ましたね。外国の方は気をつけてね。
I am 78 and lived alone since 1976 after my divorce. I have never ever felt lonely. I don’t understand that emotion. I love being alone and if I want companionship or conversation I just leave my house. I constantly find it in the world.
Finding friendly people is beautiful 🥰
It really is!
I lived in Kamakura back in '90 which is a looooong time ago haha. I have been back many times since and find new things to see and do. On my last trip I went with my brother. While staying at a place in Tokyo we would pass this tiny bar with a kooky interior and a couple of people sitting at the counter. Knowing that Japanese tend to keep to themselves I didn't want to intrude on their neighborhood space. Still, my brother wanted to go in. I speak some Japanese but him, none. First thing he did was buy everyone at the bar a bottle of beer! Between my Japanese and Google Translate we had a fun conversation with the 2 men closest to us as well as the "mama-san" owner behind the bar. I'm glad my brother made the decision to go in.
What a great experience! I can totally relate.
We were drinking wine as students and an elderly couple saw us and ordered 12 beers. We were too greedy and accepted the treat. Beer after wine brings things not fine: vomiting !
I also lived in Japan in 1990 and have been back many times since. My last trip was earlier this month and I loved it as much as ever. I used to go to a tiny bar in Ikebukuro and the owner would take a photo of every customer each night, then get the photos developed the next day, so if you returned you could see your photo in an album on a bookshelf! There must have been several hundred photo albums - tt was such a sweet gesture. Have you watched the movie, "Perfect Days"? There's a wonderful Mama-san in that and the film is incredibly beautiful.
The cat is adorable
My Japanese daily mantra - ‘Every day is a new adventure.’
Enjoy your own company. Make yourself your sanctuary. 🙏🏽
I'm a grown man, married and dad of two girls and a dog. I was born in Japan but our family moved to the west when I was a kid so I relate to many many things and observations in your videos. All of your videos are informative and touching. I'll admit some of your personal moments make me cry. You have such an inspiring and beautiful soul. Thank you ❤
Thank you for this. After losing my wife, I had to learn how to be alone without being lonely. It's a complicated journey. But ironically enough, I found myself more at peace while alone in Tokyo than I have here at home in the US. Your stories are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing them. They mean more than you'll ever know.
Sorry for your loss♥️
When I'm lonely in Japan, I try to remind myself that many others are, too. So much here, in fact, that restaurants like Ichiran for solo ramen dining, are very much a thriving thing here. So, strangely, knowing that so many others are alone, helps me to feel not so lonely.
I also try to focus on personal goals - like to-do lists and things. :)
I am getting on in age now, but decades ago when I was in my early 20's, I left my home in Italy and took up an apprenticeship in Japan under a master shoemaker. While I learned a lot, I probably wasn't equipped to deal with the experience of living alone abroad with zero connections (and this was before smartphones, etc). I spent 5 days a week at language school in the morning, and learning under the master in the afternoons. I remember being so numb and isolated outside of work. Something about staying in Tokyo was just profoundly lonely to me, possibly because I came from a "high contact" culture, and Japan is the exact opposite. When I finished the apprenticeship, I was so happy to leave and return home. Now, as a much older person, I have found a home in South Korea and frequently travel over to Japan, and enjoy every minute of it. Japan has changed a lot since my apprenticeship days. I sometimes think that if I'd been more prepared, I really could have enjoyed Japan a lot more in my youth. Thanks for your video.
I can relate so much to your story! It is so hard to live alone abroad, especially in the time before smartphones. When I first came to Japan when I was 18, I didn't really appreciate the opportunity. I have certainly enjoyed living in Japan a lot more now that I am older.
As you already have some Japanese language (from your earlier trip when you were younger) this is a great advantage, even if your Japanese is not perfect. ( hope I havent offended you). Once language starts to flow people become more confident with you. I wish you all the very best in this adventure. I moved to GErmany to be with my German boyfriend, speaking very limited school girl German, some people were very accommodating with my language skills, and strangely enough it was the Turkish lady who did alterations, the ladies in a shoe shop who had learned English in school, the man at the market I met and was so helpful and patient. I eventually met several English and an Australian married to Germans and not only learned from them but began a new style of living. My husband loved the tea parties and the curry I used to make for him. Very sadly, he passed away and I decided to come back to Australia where my daughter and granddaughter live. People asked me “but why would you want to leave this cultural city - their understanding of Australia was limited, but I had family here.
What a gem of a find to discover the karaoke bar and the people who frequent it!! Stay curious!
I've been watching your videos for a few days now and I am so impressed with your courage and sense of adventure. Well done! You may not know it but you are an inspiration to a lot of us.
Thanks so much!
Way to go Chani! I can't tell exactly when you came to Japan, but you've certainly been here shorter than me... about 39 years! Let me tell you that Japan only gets better with time. Your fearlessness is an inspiration.
Thanks Ted. I officially moved here April 2023. So it’s coming up one year soon.
I ❤ that you are taking a chance and making an effort to making new friends and making new memories. Until you next adventure!😊
When i feel lonely I get on UA-cam and watch people and their lives. It makes me feel grounded and connected. Reminds me that there really is other life beyond my little town and little house.
I really admire you -- and absolutely loved your karaoke experience. It takes a brave soul to be so open.
Thank you!
Really enjoying your content! Hang in there, I went through the same thing when I moved here from Hawaii in 1993. The people here are shy, especially because of the language barrier. But, once the ice is broken, they really open up. Things will get much better as you get acclimated👍 Ganbatte ne! Aloha from Yokohama🤙🏽
Just like with your search for a job to move to Japan, you take action and put yourself out there. You are a brave soul and I for one could benefit from following your example.
Definitely your Japanese is way better than mines, and that helps to navigate life in Japan. But reconnecting with friends from back home are such comforting like eating home cooking again.
Thank you for this video! Its not only very interesting, but i also love listening, because you are such a gifted story teller.
I've found that many people feel the same and are just not reaching out because they don't want to be bothersome, or are worried about looking desperate, or something equally foolish. It's a very human way of thinking, which means you can count on others feeling that way too, and more often than not, people are happy to be engaged and ready to reciprocate. Good that you took the chance!
31yo from Brisbane. Have forever felt that as extroverted as I am, I never really get that feeling of satisfaction from being around friends. Then, I realised the friends I had weren't genuine. Now, I feel that making the first move and showing my genuine intent to make a friendship has led to making stronger friendships. I have also wanted to move to Japan and renovate an akiya too, especially as my husband is a software engineer and could easily find work. But alas, I enjoy your videos and hope you continue to find your belonging with the big move!
I've lived in Japan for about 20 years, like you in the Kansai region. My first year was really hard. Strangely, what helped me was the Bruce Springsteen album, The Ghost of Tom Joad. An album full of songs about loneliness and heartache somehow always lifted my spirits, I guess because it showed me that I wasn't alone in finding life hard. And I came to really enjoy being on my own, in my own company. Though I've married since then and have a family I still see the ability to feel comfortable by myself as maybe the biggest gift of my first year in Japan.
That is a great story! I think music can be very powerful like that. 20 years is a long time 😀
I’m so glad that I found your channel , Chani! I’m in Canada and years ago had a friend who went to Japan to teach English too . She found it incredibly hard ( she was only there about a year ) she said people were polite to her but she always felt like an outsider . Your attitude is so right) make the first step to make friends , as scary as it might be .. it will pay off . You are so brave and I really admire you ❤️She was too shy to try .
As for me I recently lost my husband of 36 years and struggle with loneliness. But I reached out to my Tai Chi club and attend almost every day . Tai chi is so relaxing and beneficial plus the social aspect is so valuable. Maybe someone here that’s struggling might consider looking into it . ❤
Tai chi is something I have always wanted to try.
when Im feeling lonely , I watch vlogs of ppl feeling lonely.
Solidarity 🤗
I enjoy all of your videos but This video really resonates with me. My wife’s Japanese and we go to Japan once or twice a year. I always see these bars or pubs that you can’t see in and I want to go in but am always too intimidated. I’m quite introverted but seeing your experience has made me a bit more brave for our next trip! Also we’re considering moving to Japan when our kids go off to college. So I’ll keep watching your videos and learning. And cheering you on! Ganbatte!!!
True colors~ cheers !! 📺
This was great timing. I’ve lived in Japan for a long time and in the last few years have started to feel lonelier. I have a tendency to isolate. Reaching out to others and more importantly actually putting myself in social situations where I can meet new people is the best way. Avoid hanging out with only gaijin.
I have no option here because I don't know where the gaijin are at! But honestly I really wanted to meet local friends because I heard that foreigners can come and go. The local people have been super supportive and I really am gratefull for them.
@@ChaniJapanwhere is “here” ? Are you in Wakayama somewhere? I’m between Osaka and Kobe. High population density so there’s no excuse to not get out there.
G'on yersel hen, as they say in Scotland.
I moved abroad on my own too at 60, and what you say resonates with my experiences. Keep up the great posts. Everything you're doing is difficult but you'll be rewarded for your positivity.
Thank you!
When feeling lonely or simply bugged off with things I go for walks along the beach, especially for the sunsets. There are always people walking their dogs or simply enjoying the beach. A simple wave or 'hello' does wonders for my spirits.
" loneliness "
Your sharing really makes me feel deeply
You bravely go to a new place
You bravely face your loneliness
I'm so touched and envious
I feel the warmth with tears
I hope I can do it myself
Thank you for your candid sharing
I find it great that you speak about loneliness after moving abroad. I think that is a very important topic. Most people are imagining leaving their home country very romantic. So did I when I left Germany for the UK. After 6 months there I foud a job and had some contacts and 3 new friends . But I had to learn that the Brits are not keen on having foreign friends at all. I tried several things to get in touch with the locals and had the hope for friendships there. I booked some courses and after those I invited even the people of the group for a "sit together and talk about the course with tea/coffee and cake" - out of 25 invited people , nobody came. After some years I gave up. It hurts more to be somewhere else and being lonely than being in your home country feeling loney. At home you make a call and meet people. Or you go to the city and have a friendly chat here and there and you feel much better. However, I wouldn't want to miss this experiece since I met many very nice people there. After 7 Years I went back to Germany, only one friend is still my friend. The others (German friends) were not keen to have me as friend anymore when I return to my home town. However, I learned so much that I would move abroad again - maybe not to the UK anymore but somewhere else :)
I just love your videos, Chani. Thank you!! I admire your bravery and sincerity. Sometimes when I'm lonely, I'll go to a dog park and watch the dogs run around. It always makes me smile, and I've met some really nice people at dog parks. I don't have a dog, but I love animals and people love to talk about their pets. Great job with the karaoke!
Thank you! I agree, animals are a great topic to bond over. 🐱🐶
I remember the first time I had dinner by myself, the first time I went into a movie theater by myself, the first time I went to another country alone (for a month of travel), the first time I studied abroad in Paris alone but living with a French family, the first time I packed up and went snowboarding alone, and the first time I went out sightseeing in Europe by myself. I even remember the first Christmas I spent alone, and the first holiday I took alone. Each initial experience doing something alone felt odd. Once you do it enough times, you don't think twice about it. Decades later, doing things alone feels more normative than it does to spend time with other people.
After moving to another country by yourself and buying your home on your own, singing karaoke seems like it might be easy (although you chose a vocally challenging song!).
In my 40s, I learned that I'd rather be alone and lonely than be with other people and feel completely alone. You're inspiring so many people (I read the many comments to you)!!
I’m feeling more normal about doing things alone too.
I live my life by the saying "Where you sit is what you see". It covers everything and stops my loneliness in its teacks.
Thats a great saying 😀
Hey Chani! Another great video thanks. Over the years, I’ve found that being direct and upfront about my desire for friendship has been the best approach. In university I approached a girl and said that I was looking for a Christian community (since I’m a Christian), and she ended up introducing me to her community and being my best friend in college. Then in Japan, again I told a group of people at my church that I was looking for a friend because I was feeling lonely. The girl next to me said she was wanting a friend too, and now the both of us do everything together. ❤
♥️
I came to japan way way before the internet and in fact i didn't even invest in a landline phone for about 6 months. (60,000 yen). If my weekend got long and lonely i would go to the nearby department store and start on the top floor and look at everything going down floor by floor until i hit the street. Then also at a nearby shrine at the very top was a tiny sad zoo with a sad lonely bear in a tiny sad cage and sit on a bench with him nearby. (His name was Taro). That would kill several hours. I think Little house on the Prairie was on NHK at 6, english shows were rare on t.v. so i watched whatever was on.
I'm a kiwi living in Sasebo , bought and renovated a house with my husband and I work remote. When feeling lonely I take my dog to the busy dog park and its surprising how people are open to having a chat when you have a dog 😅 Also funny how I know all the dogs names in the neighborhood but not their owners. Thank you for the uplifting videos. Enjoying reading the comments too. All the best 😊
Lifting weights always puts me in a better mood. Starting a new project can work for me too. Really, the only two things that 100% reliably work (temporarily) are lifting and time. Loneliness is kind of an evergreen problem. It keeps growing back harder every year. I love your videos. Thanks for posting them and allowing me to travel and experience japan vicariously.
Your videos documenting life in Japan are so interesting! I know you're still feeling your way there, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be more energetic and animated in your videos. Still, I know how it must feel to be so new to doing videos. Anyway, I love how you showcase the culture and daily experiences. I've always been fascinated by Japanese food. Could you share some recommendations on what to buy at a Japanese grocery store for someone who's new to Japanese food, snacks? Maybe do a video translating the products in a grocery store. And perhaps provide some tips on how to prepare some simple yet delicious Japanese dishes as well in the future. Your insights would be incredibly helpful.
I don't like how I can only give 1 like 👍 to this wonderful and happy video ❤ well done 👏🏽
You are so kind
Hello Chani! Im a Singaporean who one day would love to move to Japan someday. Thank you for the videos!
I hope you can!
You're so brave! Wonderful watching your adventures. And you sounded great!
Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing this with us. I have not been over seas but have traveled a bit around Australia seeing friends or family over the years. It was not uncommon for my mum to stick me and my sister on a train to see some uncles or cousins they would meet us at the station.
In the past I struggled with depression anxiety and loneliness, I have spent most of the last several years alone and single in some form. I ride motorcycles and trail walk with groups around the ACT where I live. I only just finished my uni and opened my own business last year
You're brave and you're also not alone in feeling lonely sometimes. So many people across the world, of many ages, are living alone and deal with loneliness, especially in these present times, I think. (even in their own home countries) I'm glad you went in and did Karaoke! (it's also practically the national past-time in S.Korea, too.) When feeling lonely, think of new things to try (like the karaoke), taking a class with others on things you're interested in, maybe a group tour/travel outing, join an interesting club if you can or start one, as you personally travel maybe ask to do little interviews at various interesting places for your channel...meeting people who would be glad to share what they do with others, etc. Just stay engaged, curious and interested in your new home, explore and meet people along the way! There are so many possibilities! I wish you all the best!
I am in a group of friends who make quilts for those in need. It's a blessing to have an activity in
common. Also I started classes at a local center, and am making friends who enjoy the same things.
That is awesome!
I'm really happy that I have found your channel today and enjoying going through the older videos. I think your cat is beautiful so having a pet is one way to prevent loneliness. I think your Karaoke was great and you have shown what a good sport you are by joining in, to the people you just met too. 😊
Thank you for your content…I get lonely sometimes, but then I think back to all the relationships I’ve had in the past and I don’t miss the snoring roommates and cleaning up after them and the walking on eggshells because someone’s in a bad mood. No, I LOVE my alone time. If I do get lonely, I will go read a book by a river or take myself out to dinner and strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to me at the bar. 😊😊😊
For me being alone is a gift. I love hiking traveling but for staying local and getting a dog it’s a true deal!
I am so glad I found this today... I moved from South Africa to Ireland at age 60. Still battling to get on my feet and find a job and a home, and even my nearest relative does not understand how hard it is. Thank you for letting people know about the loneliness - I wouldn't say that to the family member, but may show him this video. Now to catch up with all your videos - thanks again. Regards, Dianne
I am transitioning to a life in Japan with my beautiful (Japanese) wife in Osaka. This video hits hard and is so relatable. Thank so much for producing and posting this!
You are physically alone but you are not lonely because you have a beautiful cat, co-workers and a community. I am born in a city and I'm always surrounded by crowds, but I do feel lonely at times. Your vlogs have inspired me to go Japan and consider a life there. Thank you.
I was in Japan for almost 7 years about 10 years ago. I studied for 2 years and working in the japan game industry for the rest of the stay. The loneliness broke me mentally (on top of the working culture, but mainly the loneliness)
Even tried joining those foreigners in Japan meetup but meeting up once a year doesn't really help.
- What I learn is stay away from the big city (especially Tokyo). The further away you are from it the warmer the people are. Feeling lonely in a busy city is the worst.
- Get a group of close friends that you can hangout daily if possible. I'm a full on introvert but even an introvert need an inner circle of close friends (even if its just one person) to share the talk about the culture shock and stuff. Can't keep up bottling it up, because one day you will explode like I did.
Very true. Being away from the city has been the best for meeting people and making deeper connections. The city can be very lonely.
Love this. Amazing. Well done you! Poor Millie being adorable at the end to no avail! 😂
yeah my visitors were more dog people 🤣
I really want to thank you for your videos. it is very personal and refreshing to hear your vulnerability, yet with passion, strength and personal resolution in life. I thank you for opening your wonderful life in Japan. I hope i get to one day meet you as i am journeying my way to learning the language as a middle aged man; yes, i believe it is more than 33%. i am one of the lonely ones unfortunately but i always see hope like you do
Thank you for the kind words, it means a lot 😊 I’m so glad that you can also see hope and you are learning the language!
I'm really introverted, so I often don't mind being alone. But like you, I do have a cat and that helps. When I feel lonely, I like going for walks, being in nature helps a ton. Seeing new sights as well. Thank you for the video!
Those look like awesome pancakes! I like to exercise at the gym or walk on the beach. I always feel better afterwards. Recently, I am learning to sketch and paint. I'm surprised that I've created some interesting art. Next month I'm going to take a live class with an instructor I have health issues and depression. I am surprised how much the art has become a healing therapy! I encourage anyone with depression or anxiety to give art and any creative expression a try
love the video. I was in the same boat when I moved here from Canada. I joined clubs like a fishing and train yes I like to watch trains. my home is now Wakayama I like it here. But there is always apart of you thinking of home.
I just want to say came across your UA-cam page a few days ago. Absolutely love your content. So real and honest. You are such inspiration. Thank you for sharing your journey and taking us along. 🌺
Thank you so much!!
The narrative in this video in particular - really touched me and I connected with you. I feel connected from your brutal honest descriptions of how and why you feel the things you do and say. Makes me want to hop on a plane and return to Japan. Learning the language is the hardest and I want to learn - hoping your dream of being an online virtual teacher for persons like me comes true. Thank you for sharing your story on your UA-cam channel. Know it makes a difference. ❤
♥️Thank you♥️
Your charming and I'm loving the videos! You have a simple direct style I find very appealing. 😎💖
Thank you so much 😀
You are so brave to catch your dreams out of comfort zone. It’s the first time to see your video, blessed from Hongkonger.
Thank you so much!
I so admire your positive attitude! With your beautiful cat Millie, you are in safe hands, she’ll always sort you out 😻😻😻 ( I am also owned by a handsome ginger cat!)
Thank you! 😊
Thanks for sharing emotional and sensitive experience! Anyhow, let's begin! I'm cheering for you and also for myself!
Thanks Norio ♥️
Awww this made me cry. Your authenticity is just so lovely. I'm sure lots of people in Japan would like to be your friend.
Very moving video and perhaps something a lot of people would benefit from knowing they may feel lonely, but there are others who also feel the same. By the way loved that you opened that door and found some new friends who made you step outside your of your comfort zone 6:57
Thank you. I guess we can all feel lonely sometimes 🩷
Dear Chani, I absolutely love your videos and moreover, I am extremely impressed with your frontier spirit. You truly are an inspiration! I lived in Japan (Tokyo) for 15 years, from 1989 until 2005. I remember the first time I went into a Japanese pub, izakaya. Before I went in, I was very nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. But after I went in and got settled, just like with your experience, everyone was very friendly to me. That first experience initiated my deep interest in Japanese songs called enka, which is considered as a Japanese style blues. I learned about 200 of them and whenever I went into an Izakaya, once I sang a song at karaoke, I was able to make some fast friends. Keep making videos of your wonderful Japanese journey.
I will. Thank you 🩷
I've been living in Japan since 2018. I was lucky I moved to Japan with my workmates/friends to work for the same company, thus I didn't feel so alone. 3 years later, after I moved to my new employer, suddenly I was on my own. I still catch up with my friends from my previous employer, but I felt the need to find a new community. I found it by playing badminton with mostly Japanese people. They were very nice and friendly they teach me new skills on how to improve my badminton skills.
That's how I try not to be consumed by loneliness here in Japan. It's a real thing, and I am happy you found a way how to deal with it. Cheers! 🎉
I agree with you. It is a real thing and something to think about. I think finding a community is so important. ♥️
I really enjoy your videos and watching you bravely do what so many only dream of doing. Life is always about the journey and not the destination and those are the things that create our memories. You could be back here living in a small unit and still be lonely. But you have not only found a way of making new friends but are in another country and embracing life and doing it all. :)
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. Feeling lonely in a new place is natural, but it seems you’ve understood that and taken the first steps to make things better - by showing your “true colors”
Hey Chani,that was a good Idea to check that place out Im sure you made some new friends.
Most definitely. I go nearly every week.
Something about your content I find very soothing ❤🤷♂️
Aussie back again - Firstly must say that I really do like the way you both film and tell a story, it's quite different and in a good way.
That kara oke bar is a fantastic find. And you're dead right, the people seem super friendly.
Loneliness was certainly something that I experienced in Japan, as did others that I spoke to. Some get around this by mostly associating with their own countrymen. I didn't want that though. How you're going about things is commendable.
I've been alone most of my adult life (single mum so not REALLY alone I guess) so I learned early about eating by myself, going to movies etc. I can't ever remember feeling weird about it, but maybe I did. Now I prefer it. But a tip if you are feeling lonely is to go someplace where you feel comfortable - a book store, a museum etc. - and strike up a conversation with a stranger asking their pick for a good book to read or if they know anything about an artist or whatever makes sense in the place that you are. People who frequent the same types of places often have things in common and people who might not normally speak to a stranger will often respond to a request for help or information. Even a short conversation or a smile from a stranger can ease loneliness.
great tips♥️
i am curious how you learned Japanese? I mean they're many ways, but i want to find a way whats suitable for me, since i plan to move to Japan too, but my Japanese is just.. 20% and yee..
If you have some tricks or can tell me how you did it, it would be so nice
You are such a breath of fresh air! I love your story, I love the style of your videos, I love the tone of your voice as you narrate. I hope you continue documenting your journey for years to come.
Just dropping by I find your site when I was searching for Akiya on YT your journey is inspiring I love Japan and now you give me something to hope for in the future
Thank you 👋
Woohoo good for you Chani adventuring into the Karaoke bar. I’ve never done it myself however I would love to. Honestly it’s not about being the best singer, nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s great to give things a go and give people a laugh and enjoy yourself.. I don’t have advice for loneliness, sorry. I’m married, have 2 daughters, 2 son in laws and 3 grandchildren. I look after 2 of them every Monday. I love my crafts and have a studio in the back yard, in a good ol Aussie shed. I do all sorts of crafts and love my alone time down there creating. Every morning whilst having brekkie I love to catch up on the latest You tubes of the ones I follow and seem to be gathering more to my list quite often as they pop up. I watch quite a few you tubers in Japan and that’s why I think yours popped up. I’m really enjoying seeing your life in Japan and wishing I could do the same however I have too many commitments here and will have to be satisfied with taking trips to Japan. Maybe in another life….. cheers for now, Kaylee in Queensland 🫶🏼
Thank you for the video! I’m transitioning to work in Japan in July. Im still waiting for Japanese immigration to decide my fate (LOL), but if I do I will be working the country side in a village of less than 1000 residents. Thankfully the company had been very helpful and informative and providing company housing. They don’t speak English and I am not fluent in Japanese, but it will be force me to speak the language. It will be an interesting experience.
How exciting! I hope you love the beautiful Japanese countryside. Don’t be afraid to try new things and join in with the local people as much as you can.
I’m really happy for your bravery and for taking the first step!
I actually have a story to tell. 6 months ago, I moved to Portugal to study. And for the longest time, I thought i was gonna live in a city named Bragança. I thought it was perfect for me, as it wasn’t too small. But only a few weeks before i moved, i discovered that my campus was located in a satellite town called Mirandela.
But the room was already booked, so i stayed in Bragança for about a month.
In Bragança, i made friends with my Georgian flatmate and his friends as well. I loved living in Bragança as well.
But almost every single weekday, i would have to go between bragança and mirandela, picking up a bus quite early in the morning, and coming back home late at night. It was quite exhausting.
I still remember my first reaction to when i first saw Mirandela. I had a lot of panic attacks, as adjusting to the move and getting used to my new surroundings was already challenging enough, but moving to a completely different town, which was even more rural, was very shocking.
To top it all off, I didn’t have any friends there, and came out of classes with a feeling of emptyness.
Sometimes I would have doubts about studying in Mirandela, and wondered if i should go back to studying arts in Bragança, or if i should keep pursuing game development in Mirandela.
In the end, i chose to believe that things WOULD get better, that i would adapt to Mirandela, that i would make friends, and that i needed to pursue something more challenging and employable. So i made the choice to fully move to Mirandela, and one day, a classmate noticed that i was very sad and struggling a lot, and reached out to me. And after that, i made a lot of friends, and now i like living here. I can’t say it’s the perfect university life that I envisioned, but i lead a great life.
Belchior helped me a LOT during that difficult time. He’s my favorite singer, and what made his songs so therapeutic for me was because of his own life experiences about moving somewhere far away. “I will stay in this city, I won’t go back to the countryside. Because i can see coming the wind, the smell of the new season […]” - Belchior, Como nossos pais
Such a nice story. I'm so glad your classmate noticed ♥️
Eliminating loneliness is a big theme. What I would recommend is cleaning the outside of your property. To contribute something in a public place. It doesn't matter how small it is. It may be a good idea to grow the flowers facing outside. Please gradually increase your opportunities to greet local people.
I so admire your courage girl - kuddos galore! I love Japan - the food in particular and then there is the feeling of safety - I visited last year as part of a small tour group but did a few things alone and felt so liberated - even in the evening in tokyo. As far as dealing with the lonely times - well it's part of life- I'm now a widow and those time are more frequent but I find distracting myself with books, outside walks, visits to new places, shopping, writing and watching you tube all help. The longer I'm alone the more at peace I become. Well then there's the two cats!! Much love and luck to you.
Thanks for your comment ♥️
I really enjoy your videos and commend your bravery for your move to Japan. Your Japenese is excellent. I spent some time in Narita and was able to visit the Imperial Palace. I also worked down in Yokosuka for a couple of weeks while in country. My favorite thing to do was shop at FamilyMart, I was always amongst the locals when in one. When I'm lonely, I like to get out in to nature and hike or walk. I'm always out there with others and the sounds of others and nature really help 🩵
Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Oh and I LOVE the karaoke night you found 🎉❤🎤
Yes! Family mart is so good.