You have achieved a level of wisdom and maturity which is remarkable. The tragedy of these days,it seems to me,is that people are finding it hard to love and accept themselves just as they are. And I'm not just talking about gender,this is a part of a much wider wider context..
Thank you!! Even though I’m a trans man, this still offers a lot of helpful insight and it’s people like you that allow me to really see other perspectives and get a deeper understanding of whether transition is right or not
I really appreciate you watching! I totally agree that it's so important to consider many perspectives. One person's path will be totally different than another person's. Best of luck!
I feel like no matter what you did, the chances of you passing as an adult cis man were very low. I feel like doctors, and other people encouraged you to have unrealistic expectations, when the best thing to do would have been to work on accepting the fact that you can be happy whether or not others see you as an adult cis man. I'm really glad you seem a lot happier now, and you don't seem to have many permanent side effects. You definitely don't look or sound like you went through a transition/detransition. Thank you for sharing this personal story. I can relate to a lot of it.
Yes, absolutely. I felt robbed that my singing voice changed so quickly and drastically while the rest of me barely changed at all. I would've had to be on T for years to pass, and even then I probably still would have been clockable given my stature.
I am so sorry you had to experience a dramatic change in your voice. I am an amateur singer and I have not experienced the same but I have a new teacher who is actively trying to lower my voice because she likes lower voices. I am used to my soprano voice but she's trying to make me reach tenor range! I am losing my top notes and I hate it but I have to wait until June to stop this course. Having said that, I think your middle alto range sounds the best. Keep doing your exercises, you never know, you might be experiencing effects that are long-term but not permanent, like if you had been smoking 50 cigarettes a day for years and then stopped. But don't force your voice either. Love and hugs
@@alienpov Oooooooooor you only notice people who don't pass because if they pass then you'd have no way of knowing. It's the same reason people rag on toupees, you only notice the bad ones.
I've never identified as trans or non binary but being in those spaces actually made me very insecure with my version of woman. Finding the gender critical world view was actually incredibly freeing. *That's* the side that taught me that a woman is an adult human female full stop. I didn't have to justify whether or not I "felt" like a woman in order to claim a female identity. Nor did I have to be a feminine person. I could have whatever interests, personality or appearance I wanted and still be a woman because my biology was immutable. I wish I had come across that point of view sooner. (Not to mention that "identifying" as a woman never made much sense to me since it has no bearing in my day to day life)
Cat, thank you for making these videos. I only found out recently you had de-transitioned after seeing you around town as Tony. Your story has been incredibly impactful and important as the parent of 2 trans teens.Hope to hear you singing in person soon.
Hey Greg! Thanks for the comment. :) My struggle is not always easy to talk about, but it's nice to hear that I am making a difference, and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me. All the best to you and your kids! I would find that situation very challenging as a parent, but it sounds like you are approaching it with love and compassion, which is most important. My voice is still healing and quite different from how it was, but I surely will perform live again when I'm feeling ready.
You are fortunate that you came to the realization so early. I’m just starting the detransition journey after 24 1/2 years during which time I passed 100% of the time, even though I’m barely 5’ tall and 125 pounds. Besides having a deep voice, I have a full beard and quite a bit of balding to overcome. So I consider you to be lucky.
Hi Ronan. Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with your detransition. Going through this after 24.5 years sounds incredibly difficult, and you're very brave! If you don't mind, what were your reasons for deciding to detransition?
@@CatCattinson One reason is that I grew up in the 50s and 60s when there weren’t diverse role models for girls. June Cleaver, doing housework in a dress and pearls wasn’t for me. It also seems that I somewhat confused my attraction to men with wanting to be them. Finally, I realized that even though I passed 100%, I didn’t feel that I was truly a man. I didn’t begin transition until I was 49, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t go on without it.
That totally makes sense! Gender roles run deep and are still lingering today, but I understand it's nothing like back then. Thank you for sharing so candidly. I hope you have the support you need and wish you the best of luck with detransitioning.
I was pleasantly surprised by this, your perspective is interesting. I am not trans and I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community. You made a very interesting point when you said that when you had or wanted a masculine expression people assumed you were a lesbian. I battle with that on the opposite end, people I assume I am masculine, when I don't identify as masculine at all. I am a lesbian, I don't desire a masculine appearance. Typically feminine things do not interest me but I do consider myself a feminine lesbian. I do feel that gender expression has nothing to do with orientation. I enjoyed your video. Thank you. 😊
Thanks for sharing your perspective! There are also plenty of feminine men who are straight and masculine gay men. We should just all be free to be ourselves and date who we want without a certain gender expression being forced on us.
I can't imagine what it's like to feel that you're not in the body that you feel you are, emotionally, intellectually etc. And it's important that people are supported as much as we can to relieve as much of the trauma that they live with on a regular basis. Which for me, is why we should be listening to & learning from, those who are either de-transitioning, had a bad transition route and/or feel that they weren't given enough good quality information and support - for them to be fully aware of what transitioning will be like - is really important. Then we can improve diagnosis & transitioning and so that people can be given a more efficient and successful way, to be happier in their lives. Whatever route they decide to take.
@@CatCattinson Thank you CR. I'm genuinely worried, (as someone who has had their own psychological/emotional issues) that we seem to be doing something that's potentially damaging. Historically, any emerging/new forms of treatment - improve by taking on board the IRL stories of those experiencing the treatment. I'm not confident that we're doing that with dysphoria & transitioning. Ultimately, that's going to hurt people when they're in an extremely vulnerable position. So trying to deny, suppress, or even silence those like yourself - is utterly counter productive. The saddest thing, is that those attempts to shut down your type of dialogue - can come from people that have transitioned. You'd hope they'd have a bit more compassion, understanding & appreciate that just because their journey was successful, doesn't mean everyone's was the same. Trans people, like any other, "group" aren't a monolith of experience, thought & views. They'll be successes, failures & all points in between. Its a shame it can't all be discussed openly. Thank you for the reply. Be well, be safe, be happy.
This! I have been thinking about making a video on the topic. Objectively, any medical treatment should be subject to questioning, and individuals who do not benefit from it should especially be studied and doctors should be looking into why it doesn't work for some people and how we can improve the quality of care to prevent this. It is very concerning that instead, people in my situation are receiving hate and censorship. We actually have no clue if the notion that detransitioners are a tiny minority is true or not. There are no well-designed studies that actually confirm this.
@@CatCattinson That's completely true, we don't know the % of successful Vs non-successful Vs de-transitions. Similarly, there's not enough data about, (for want of a better term) the aftermath of a de-transition, because some returns, are more successful than others. It's ridiculous that you should get hate & censorship - for essentially being concerned about others, but - that is a common response from some. I've been told I'm a bigot, TERF and Transphobe for expressing the same as I have here. Personal attacks, are normally a sign that someone hasn't a genuine response/counter claim to your views. Still can't quite get my head round why some behave like that, to people in the same space as you've been in. Isn't it another version of someone not being taken seriously when they identify? Something they themselves may have come up against when they went on their journey? Any hoo.... I'll revert to my stoicism, before it bugs me anymore.. We need to, and should expect better from healthcare professionals as well as society - but that can't be achieved by silencing uncomfortable truths and only celebrating successes. Quite the reverse. We'll stagnate. Good luck with your future content - because regardless of the abuse, you'll be helping people too.
Thank you so very much for this deeply personal journey. I have watched all 3 of your videos. It has helped me understand a lot more about what my own teenager is currently going through. I am doing my best to educate myself and support my child through this journey. They currently struggle with mental health issues and have been hospitalized several times over the years for issues surrounding this. You have helped to give a little more insight as to their struggles. I just wanted you to know this.
As a singer and former HS choir director, I’m sorry you had to go through the voice problems in addition to other health problems. I lost my voice after getting adult onset asthma. It’s terrible. Keep singing.
I really enjoyed hearing some more of your story. [I also follow you on TT.] I'm guessing that it's ultimately fortunate for you that you experienced the adverse side-effects from the testosterone sooner rather than later on when many seem to start feeling them. Certainly, you seem to have retained much of your vocal range, which must feel like a bit of a blessing. All in all, I'm glad that you're okay and doing well again now.
Thank you lots! I am still learning to work my new voice, but I feel grateful to have retained the abilities I have. You're right that I probably would have stayed on T for longer if I hadn't had the side effects. I appreciate your support, and please enjoy your weekend! 😁
Hello there! I’m not really sure how I got a suggestion for your videos, but I love hearing other people’s stories. I think that your journey sounds like it was a rough one, but worth it in the end. Gender nor sexuality make no difference about how I feel about people. All that I know is that you seem to be an amazing person! You deserve happiness and to be happy with who you are! Sending you love and liking and subscribing now! I hope to hear some great music from you as well! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal journey, lots of love to you and hope you've found, or will soon find the happiness you so clearly deserve. You are awesome!
Ohhh...beautiful voice...I love hearing you sing...I'm glad you didn't lose it and keep singing...that seems to be your calling...what a lovely cat. Thank you for giving valuable advice to kids. That is a great, great advice and you've walked the talk and you're a credible authority on speaking about it.
Thank you for sharing your difficult journey. Many more people have been through some kind of similar journey that don't have the confidence or an online channel to share their story with the world. So happy you are finally significantly more comfortable with yourself and you have no permanent damage! ❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story! It is awesome that you finally found yourself. That doesn't happen to everybody. I share your concerns about the pushing of transitioning minors before they are really emotionally ready for the consequences.
It's so surprising how many side effects T has, that nobody tells you about. A friend of mine got diabetes from T - the sudden hormonal changes triggered it. Type one diabetes in adults, the one that is basically an autoimmune disorder. That friend also doesn't identify as transmasculine anymore. they also said, that it was surprisingly fast to get there - their therapist ended the first session by referring them to an endocrinologist. Another friend of mine identified as trans aswell, in her case it was mostly because she's a lesbian and well, what queer woman doesn't grow up without questioning their gender? She also went to a therapist who specialised in trans people - and he also wanted to refer her immediatly after the first session. Especially weird, because she went into the appointment with a clear "I am not sure if i'm trans or not", not with an "I am trans, gimme the T". Kinda makes me lucky that I myself didn't medically transition. I do not personally use the word detransition, because i didn't transition other than coming out to like 4 people and buying one shirt from the mens section - but I did think I was trans for about half a year. In my case, it was linked to SA - to an "If I was a boy, this wouldn't have happened". Which is very common, from what I've learned. But then, I also know of trans guys who went to therapy for months before getting referred, sometimes needing a second opinion before starting T. And those are the ones who still ID as trans men. So yeah. Maybe we should be more skeptical. And about "Trans kids might harm themselves to the point of death if they don't transition fast enough"... Well, you can treat suicidal tendencies without immediatly treating the underlying cause. Just like you first correct the eating habits of someone with an ED, before you tackle the reason they got the ED in the first place.
I’m in healthcare and so are many of my friends. Many doctors have expressed concerns about therapists being too quick to “diagnose” someone with gender dysphoria. Even when these doctors have refused someone, patients still end up finding someone who they have push to prescribe them hrt etc.
Puberty blockers are also used to stop early onset of puberty (precocious puberty) and for when bones are underdeveloped (idiopathic short stature) in cisgender children and no one complains when they are used for these reasons. A set level of caution for surgery and HRT for transgender youth sounds very sensible and I blame the US medical healthcare system for the lack of continuity when it comes to the safety of transgender children when assessing gender. Taking hormone blockers gives a child the time to pause without having to deal with puberty which can result in suicidal feelings. Hormone blockers are on the whole not going to cause any harm and puberty resumes once these are stopped. Please go and learn more about these things before you decide to comment negatively on them
It's not misinformation. There is no way to put a "pause button" on puberty in healthy children without harmful effects. It is a crucial time for brain and bone development. There are support groups for people who took drugs like Lupron as kids and ended up with osteoporosis. Precocious puberty is an abnormal condition, in which case it might be appropriate to respond with medical intervention, but not for healthy children with a psychological condition, especially since studies have shown 60-90% of children with gender dysphoria will grow out of it if left alone. I will drop a link to Exulansic's channel. She's a pathologist who's far more educated and better equipped to explain this issue than I. I highly recommend watching her videos on "I am Jazz" as well, as Jazz Jennings appears to have suffered significant harmful effects from treatment with blockers as well as surgery. ua-cam.com/video/4VpoxGKyZi8/v-deo.html
Thanks for your honesty and sharing your story. Thanks for accepting yourself for who you are in totality.Meditation really helps as does open mindedness. We need to be kind and compassionate. Your thinking makes sense a lot. I agree with so much of what you say.
I understand the thing that you mentioned in the first video about identifying more with male fictional characters. It's as if complex female fictional characters are never allowed to be complex and when they are supposedly complex they can't be feminine and are just the token 'tough girl'. I did an MBTI test and found out that I was an INTJ. Apparently female INTJs make up only 0.5% of the population. I also have high functioning autism and a lot of unpopular opinions about things. I also think I'm somewhere close to the asexual spectrum. I am attracted to fewer men than average. I have fantasized about being a man or being completely genderless but I don't think I would ever dream of taking testosterone or doing anything to change my body.
Sometimes our choices just turn out to be what we want in the end. Glad you made the decision sooner rather than later, before more changes occurred to your voice. Really enjoyed hearing your story.
For sure. Despite everything I've been through, I'm very grateful for where I am now and what I've learned. Thanks again for watching, and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed my story! ☺️
There is really only one gender, human, everything else is what you feel like doing to express yourself. We are all 100 percent equal so we ALL deserve 100 percent respect.
I definitely understand the nervousness around the first shot. Shit even the first FEW shots. Starting T scared the hell out of me but all my trans friends told me it was normal. (I don’t blame them for me starting obviously) my intuition was screaming to me as well, but i drowned that voice out quickly with weed and alcohol. also you’re very pretty!! You remind me of krysten ritter
I feel that non binary ends up causing stress and discomfort for people. I know some individuals who didn't really have any issues with being called men/women and using she/he pronouns UNTIL they started calling themselves non binary. Then they developed social dysphoria around those terms
Maybe the people you see as only being uncomfortable with the language after coming out as non-binary actually just took that long to become comfortable with telling people. I felt uncomfortable with being called fem pronouns before I came out but it took me a while even after coming out to say that I’m a ‘they’ not a ‘she’ and to request that of others. It is really hard to speak up about something that is not seen as normal in society. Even if you know someone who didn’t mind until they came out and then made a big deal about it, that doesn’t speak for all enby’s. Sometimes it takes a long time to realise what is causing you pain, especially if you’ve been expected to live with it for so long. And it takes a lot to be yourself if it goes against the norm. People judge you, and minimise your experiences, and think you’re a weirdo when all you’re doing it trying to live with integrity. I want everyone to be comfortable being themselves, including anyone who chooses to de-transition. I’m just sorry that Cat felt rushed and pressured to be a certain way when she was still trying to figure things out. Each persons case for transitioning is different x
After watching your singing videos, I was wondering if you were already able to sing in a male sounding voice, pre T? I know you said you were only on it for 3.5 months, and you have a normal female sounding speaking voice now. Was there some sort of vocal training you did? You definitely have quite a vocal range. Sorry if this was a rude question!
No worries, not rude at all! Thanks for the question. I had a decent lower range before T, but could not really sound "like a man." Check out my old video "Breaking Bald, ep. 3" if you'd like to see my best effort haha. People tell me my speaking voice doesn't sound any different than it does before and that I'm worried about nothing. They don't realize that I used to speak at the bottom of my range, whereas now I speak in the upper middle. So it sounds similar, but feels entirely different. My singing voice will never be the same as it was, but I'm doing my best with what I've got now. :)
@@CatCattinson You sound amazing to me!! It was crazy to see such a low manly sounding voice come from such a small "guy." You're one of those people who looks cute in both a masc and femme style. You definitely pull off both looks really well. I'm a really small boned female too, and I have gender dysphoria about my voice being too high, to the point where I've thought about going on T to change it. I try to talk in my chest voice, instead of head voice, but I forget when I get excited. I appreciate the video, because it was really informative on the effects of T on female vocal chords. Instead of hormones, I'm going to just try vocal training, rather than make a possibly irreversible decision, with unknown side effects.
Thank you for your honest and vulnerable story, you’re a beautiful light. I hope you don’t mind me asking but can you share where I could get your hairpiece? It’s so awesome! I have alopecia and have to wear hair. 🙏
19:00 living in that confusion it’s sounds so hard for you, specifically in so younger age as you are. I pray for you to the Lord JESUS that He help you to make you completely free. Blessings to you
Sorry I am so late to respond but I just discovered your video. If you want information about how testosterone effects the singing voice, I recommend that you look into the history of choir/opera castrati.
@Cat Robot: I bumped into your channel just last night. My takeout 1 from your story: almost they entire society (at least, its part you were mostly in touch with) nudged you towards an irreversible personal catastrophe. Except for your father, whom you politely shoved aside twice, bc he was honest with you. Your good angel that rescued you is your Muse, your music, and I applaud you for having the strength to listen to your Muse, while all the sirens sang a different tune. I think, if every T person had a cause, an interest in life, other than this obsession with their looks and organs, they would not be climbing this calvary. The problem is: few young people have clear notions of what they are or want to be, especially children. Takeout 2: The so-called doctors and therapists who gave you all those advices & approvals, sometimes sight unseen, have an agenda. Multiple choice here: Option 1. They're after your insurance $. Once your parents' well dries out, these docs dump you half-way. Option 2: There is a deliberate will to mutilate and make infertile the largest possible number of very young people. || I wish you a happy recovery and a musical life full of discoveries and achievements.
Tank you, once again, for your gracious videos. However, I'm so full of questions and there are so many things I don't understand. I'm a 66 year old, plain vanilla, retired teacher/musician, so I was born and bought up in another world; but I want to understand. byw; being gay 60 years ago was associated with being a paedophile. One point that I'd like to make is that if you go out and get offended by being 'misgendered' , who's fault is that? {Perhaps inside you wanted to be offended) The point is that the vast majority of us are NOT the enemy and, with the greatest respect, would hope you'd 'cut us the same slack' as you want us to do for you! When I was young, you'd have, perhaps, been called a 'Tomboy'. I wish there was a way we could talk irl!! Best wishes... XX
I understand being confused about this new world (haha). Looking back, it all seems pretty crazy to me, and I experienced it firsthand. Anyway, to a trans-identified person, being misgendered is taken as insulting because it increases feelings of gender dysphoria, i.e. the distress caused by the incongruence of one's biological sex being misaligned with their "gender identity", or how they feel inside. The fact that being misgendered is so upsetting absolutely raises red flags. It is simply a refusal to acknowledge the reality of one's body. However, in some cases, like if a trans-identified person passes as the opposite sex, it can be dangerous to intentionally misgender them in public. I don't think that misgendering should ever be used in a mean-spirited way to insult someone, but ultimately it is their responsibility to realize that people are biologically programmed to distinguish males from females, and most of the time misgendering (or, I would argue, correctly referring to observed biological sex) is just what comes naturally, and they are choosing to let it trigger them every time. Once I stopped worrying about how I was perceived, my mental health improved substantially. I hope this answers your question!
It feels like you were deeply influenced to see nothing valuable or appealing at being a woman. Like it’s not worth it … it’s sad how culture and academia has affected people in this way. And making people so dependent on external validation … sad and evil. Your ability to look at your beliefs is so inspirational. This isn’t popular… so I know it takes courage. Thank you ❤
How can these doctors do something so brutal to someone? Convince them to ruin their voice when its their main love and income in life? Holy shit its so evil.
I appreciate your candor and willingness to tell your story, I hope it helps people considering this way of life. However, I think it would be helpful for you to dig into the unstable ideology and thinking that was your jenga tower. Not only was this central to what you did, it remains a center piece in this community, this house of cards. I also hope you have apologized to those around you for how insufferable you were at this time, lecturing mentally normal people who mis-gendered you and didn't play into your game of "the emperor's new clothes". Good luck with your pursuits!
You're extremely smart and your story show's that transition is not the only way. You had gender dysphoria and you can now see that the affirmative transition is not the only way, or the way to getting through your disphoria. I feel that therapy is definitely another way, or the only way to get HELP for gender dysphoria. That's why I love Erin Brewer, as she's suffered with gender disphoria her whole life. She found that therapy was the only way that helped her. She has a UA-cam channel as well. Her Link to her channel, of you're interested is: ua-cam.com/users/ErinBrewer
I'm very glad for you that you found your way out. Transition and testosterone weren't right for you. I'm truly happy that you found that out before you'd gone even further down the path of transition. But please understand that your own choices, both to transition and detransition, were your own. There was no cabal of trans people secretly trying to make you transition. No one hid information from you. You made your own choices. The affirmative care model and informed consent save lives. You chose to lie to doctors and counsellors to get the answers you thought you wanted. That isn't their fault. You wanting MORE gatekeeping because you actively worked to avoid rational safe guards is not the responsibility of other trans people.
I understood your perspective right up until the end. How did you make the jump to not supporting puberty blockers? It sounds like in your case they would've been very helpful even, considering you wouldn't have had to taken testosterone. Isn't the only risk possible reduced bone density that can be avoided through doctor monitoring? It also seems weird to deny something that's helpful, often life saving, for 99% of the people who try it just because 1% end up not needing it. Does that mean you disagree with those numbers? Or do you just think that a person's natural puberty is the default/neutral option? For me, looking back now I wish I had access to puberty blockers but I didn't even realize I could be trans until I was 23. Instead I was just suicidal since the age of at least 12. :^( Getting better now at least, and I still appreciate the insight since it made me more secure with the idea that I should transition (I had the signs you said you didn't have). Edit: What do you think of Mia Mulder's video on puberty blockers? ua-cam.com/video/C7XYfffLMEQ/v-deo.html
I remember when the Harry Potter books came out. I did not like the fact that the books were written by a woman. Child me thought, "How does an adult woman know a boy's thoughts?" The easy answer is, men are simple, and yet women will never really capture a man's thoughts unless they are a man. Just like I do not have the fear of a dark alleyway, this lack of fear is not something women would understand. It's because there is a slight insanity in being a man, and (youtube censored this word) will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever understand it. And if they do, well, then, there's the lesson which inevitably appears, that of "there's always a bigger fish." I'm probably going to show this video to my GF, only because she is a singer and yet I can sing shit she can't. That male falsetto allows things women just can't do as effortlessly. When you can manage 4 octaves, you know, eh. It's hard for a woman to manage that because whistling is hard and not everyone can be Mariah.
Well, at least you didn't try to be a dolphin or a basketball player. South Park-Season 9, Episode 1 Being misgendered shouldn't affect anyone, maybe I'm secure with who I am or something.
@@CatCattinson Well, yeah. I understand that. But did anyone tell you that it was ok to just be who you are? Not meaning it in a forceful way or anything like that. Or was all just one-sided guidance? I think that's what I am trying to get at with the transgenderism issue. I don't think anyone has really done that in my 52 years of living other than maybe an after-school special or movie. I bet the doctors, etc. love the money they make off of trying to push for folks to "change" their gender but that's a whole other topic or video you can talk about. I am just trying to be objective but I am just biased toward helping someone to be who they are without mutilating themselves and pumping things into their body to be something they cannot be. It's all superficial. As if putting on a suit or a dress changes DNA and chromosomes. I was trying to give a short reply but I guess I couldn't do it because I am hoping you try to understand as to what I was trying to say.
You have achieved a level of wisdom and maturity which is remarkable.
The tragedy of these days,it seems to me,is that people are finding it hard to love and accept themselves just as they are.
And I'm not just talking about gender,this is a part of a much wider wider context..
Thank you!! Even though I’m a trans man, this still offers a lot of helpful insight and it’s people like you that allow me to really see other perspectives and get a deeper understanding of whether transition is right or not
I really appreciate you watching! I totally agree that it's so important to consider many perspectives. One person's path will be totally different than another person's. Best of luck!
I feel like no matter what you did, the chances of you passing as an adult cis man were very low. I feel like doctors, and other people encouraged you to have unrealistic expectations, when the best thing to do would have been to work on accepting the fact that you can be happy whether or not others see you as an adult cis man. I'm really glad you seem a lot happier now, and you don't seem to have many permanent side effects. You definitely don't look or sound like you went through a transition/detransition. Thank you for sharing this personal story. I can relate to a lot of it.
Yes, absolutely. I felt robbed that my singing voice changed so quickly and drastically while the rest of me barely changed at all. I would've had to be on T for years to pass, and even then I probably still would have been clockable given my stature.
Thanks for the kind words! I really appreciate them and glad you could relate. It's heavy stuff. Wish you all the best.
@@CatCattinson Sadly none pass. Sometimes at a glance but not under further observation.
I am so sorry you had to experience a dramatic change in your voice. I am an amateur singer and I have not experienced the same but I have a new teacher who is actively trying to lower my voice because she likes lower voices. I am used to my soprano voice but she's trying to make me reach tenor range! I am losing my top notes and I hate it but I have to wait until June to stop this course. Having said that, I think your middle alto range sounds the best. Keep doing your exercises, you never know, you might be experiencing effects that are long-term but not permanent, like if you had been smoking 50 cigarettes a day for years and then stopped. But don't force your voice either. Love and hugs
@@alienpov Oooooooooor you only notice people who don't pass because if they pass then you'd have no way of knowing. It's the same reason people rag on toupees, you only notice the bad ones.
I've never identified as trans or non binary but being in those spaces actually made me very insecure with my version of woman. Finding the gender critical world view was actually incredibly freeing. *That's* the side that taught me that a woman is an adult human female full stop. I didn't have to justify whether or not I "felt" like a woman in order to claim a female identity. Nor did I have to be a feminine person. I could have whatever interests, personality or appearance I wanted and still be a woman because my biology was immutable. I wish I had come across that point of view sooner. (Not to mention that "identifying" as a woman never made much sense to me since it has no bearing in my day to day life)
Cat, thank you for making these videos. I only found out recently you had de-transitioned after seeing you around town as Tony. Your story has been incredibly impactful and important as the parent of 2 trans teens.Hope to hear you singing in person soon.
Hey Greg! Thanks for the comment. :) My struggle is not always easy to talk about, but it's nice to hear that I am making a difference, and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me. All the best to you and your kids! I would find that situation very challenging as a parent, but it sounds like you are approaching it with love and compassion, which is most important.
My voice is still healing and quite different from how it was, but I surely will perform live again when I'm feeling ready.
You are fortunate that you came to the realization so early. I’m just starting the detransition journey after 24 1/2 years during which time I passed 100% of the time, even though I’m barely 5’ tall and 125 pounds. Besides having a deep voice, I have a full beard and quite a bit of balding to overcome. So I consider you to be lucky.
Hi Ronan. Thank you so much for your comment. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with your detransition. Going through this after 24.5 years sounds incredibly difficult, and you're very brave! If you don't mind, what were your reasons for deciding to detransition?
@@CatCattinson One reason is that I grew up in the 50s and 60s when there weren’t diverse role models for girls. June Cleaver, doing housework in a dress and pearls wasn’t for me. It also seems that I somewhat confused my attraction to men with wanting to be them. Finally, I realized that even though I passed 100%, I didn’t feel that I was truly a man. I didn’t begin transition until I was 49, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t go on without it.
That totally makes sense! Gender roles run deep and are still lingering today, but I understand it's nothing like back then. Thank you for sharing so candidly. I hope you have the support you need and wish you the best of luck with detransitioning.
I was pleasantly surprised by this, your perspective is interesting. I am not trans and I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community. You made a very interesting point when you said that when you had or wanted a masculine expression people assumed you were a lesbian. I battle with that on the opposite end, people I assume I am masculine, when I don't identify as masculine at all. I am a lesbian, I don't desire a masculine appearance. Typically feminine things do not interest me but I do consider myself a feminine lesbian. I do feel that gender expression has nothing to do with orientation. I enjoyed your video. Thank you. 😊
Thanks for sharing your perspective! There are also plenty of feminine men who are straight and masculine gay men. We should just all be free to be ourselves and date who we want without a certain gender expression being forced on us.
I can't imagine what it's like to feel that you're not in the body that you feel you are, emotionally, intellectually etc.
And it's important that people are supported as much as we can to relieve as much of the trauma that they live with on a regular basis.
Which for me, is why we should be listening to & learning from, those who are either de-transitioning, had a bad transition route and/or feel that they weren't given enough good quality information and support - for them to be fully aware of what transitioning will be like - is really important.
Then we can improve diagnosis & transitioning and so that people can be given a more efficient and successful way, to be happier in their lives.
Whatever route they decide to take.
Well said. I couldn't agree more!
@@CatCattinson Thank you CR. I'm genuinely worried, (as someone who has had their own psychological/emotional issues) that we seem to be doing something that's potentially damaging.
Historically, any emerging/new forms of treatment - improve by taking on board the IRL stories of those experiencing the treatment.
I'm not confident that we're doing that with dysphoria & transitioning.
Ultimately, that's going to hurt people when they're in an extremely vulnerable position.
So trying to deny, suppress, or even silence those like yourself - is utterly counter productive.
The saddest thing, is that those attempts to shut down your type of dialogue - can come from people that have transitioned.
You'd hope they'd have a bit more compassion, understanding & appreciate that just because their journey was successful, doesn't mean everyone's was the same.
Trans people, like any other, "group" aren't a monolith of experience, thought & views.
They'll be successes, failures & all points in between.
Its a shame it can't all be discussed openly.
Thank you for the reply.
Be well, be safe, be happy.
This! I have been thinking about making a video on the topic. Objectively, any medical treatment should be subject to questioning, and individuals who do not benefit from it should especially be studied and doctors should be looking into why it doesn't work for some people and how we can improve the quality of care to prevent this. It is very concerning that instead, people in my situation are receiving hate and censorship. We actually have no clue if the notion that detransitioners are a tiny minority is true or not. There are no well-designed studies that actually confirm this.
@@CatCattinson That's completely true, we don't know the % of successful Vs non-successful Vs de-transitions.
Similarly, there's not enough data about, (for want of a better term) the aftermath of a de-transition, because some returns, are more successful than others.
It's ridiculous that you should get hate & censorship - for essentially being concerned about others, but - that is a common response from some. I've been told I'm a bigot, TERF and Transphobe for expressing the same as I have here.
Personal attacks, are normally a sign that someone hasn't a genuine response/counter claim to your views.
Still can't quite get my head round why some behave like that, to people in the same space as you've been in.
Isn't it another version of someone not being taken seriously when they identify? Something they themselves may have come up against when they went on their journey?
Any hoo.... I'll revert to my stoicism, before it bugs me anymore..
We need to, and should expect better from healthcare professionals as well as society - but that can't be achieved by silencing uncomfortable truths and only celebrating successes.
Quite the reverse.
We'll stagnate.
Good luck with your future content - because regardless of the abuse, you'll be helping people too.
Thank you so very much for this deeply personal journey. I have watched all 3 of your videos. It has helped me understand a lot more about what my own teenager is currently going through. I am doing my best to educate myself and support my child through this journey. They currently struggle with mental health issues and have been hospitalized several times over the years for issues surrounding this. You have helped to give a little more insight as to their struggles.
I just wanted you to know this.
it does warm my old lady heart to see more young people realize that there's nothing wrong with being a woman! much love to you and best wishes! 💖
As a singer and former HS choir director, I’m sorry you had to go through the voice problems in addition to other health problems. I lost my voice after getting adult onset asthma. It’s terrible. Keep singing.
I really enjoyed hearing some more of your story. [I also follow you on TT.]
I'm guessing that it's ultimately fortunate for you that you experienced the adverse side-effects from the testosterone sooner rather than later on when many seem to start feeling them. Certainly, you seem to have retained much of your vocal range, which must feel like a bit of a blessing. All in all, I'm glad that you're okay and doing well again now.
Thank you lots! I am still learning to work my new voice, but I feel grateful to have retained the abilities I have. You're right that I probably would have stayed on T for longer if I hadn't had the side effects. I appreciate your support, and please enjoy your weekend! 😁
Hello there! I’m not really sure how I got a suggestion for your videos, but I love hearing other people’s stories. I think that your journey sounds like it was a rough one, but worth it in the end. Gender nor sexuality make no difference about how I feel about people. All that I know is that you seem to be an amazing person! You deserve happiness and to be happy with who you are! Sending you love and liking and subscribing now! I hope to hear some great music from you as well! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal journey, lots of love to you and hope you've found, or will soon find the happiness you so clearly deserve. You are awesome!
Thank you so much! 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. It's very important and your videos literally can save somebody' life or help them not to make a big mistake. 👍👍👍
Ohhh...beautiful voice...I love hearing you sing...I'm glad you didn't lose it and keep singing...that seems to be your calling...what a lovely cat. Thank you for giving valuable advice to kids. That is a great, great advice and you've walked the talk and you're a credible authority on speaking about it.
Thank you for sharing your difficult journey. Many more people have been through some kind of similar journey that don't have the confidence or an online channel to share their story with the world. So happy you are finally significantly more comfortable with yourself and you have no permanent damage! ❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story! It is awesome that you finally found yourself. That doesn't happen to everybody. I share your concerns about the pushing of transitioning minors before they are really emotionally ready for the consequences.
It's so surprising how many side effects T has, that nobody tells you about. A friend of mine got diabetes from T - the sudden hormonal changes triggered it. Type one diabetes in adults, the one that is basically an autoimmune disorder.
That friend also doesn't identify as transmasculine anymore. they also said, that it was surprisingly fast to get there - their therapist ended the first session by referring them to an endocrinologist.
Another friend of mine identified as trans aswell, in her case it was mostly because she's a lesbian and well, what queer woman doesn't grow up without questioning their gender? She also went to a therapist who specialised in trans people - and he also wanted to refer her immediatly after the first session. Especially weird, because she went into the appointment with a clear "I am not sure if i'm trans or not", not with an "I am trans, gimme the T".
Kinda makes me lucky that I myself didn't medically transition. I do not personally use the word detransition, because i didn't transition other than coming out to like 4 people and buying one shirt from the mens section - but I did think I was trans for about half a year. In my case, it was linked to SA - to an "If I was a boy, this wouldn't have happened". Which is very common, from what I've learned.
But then, I also know of trans guys who went to therapy for months before getting referred, sometimes needing a second opinion before starting T. And those are the ones who still ID as trans men.
So yeah. Maybe we should be more skeptical. And about "Trans kids might harm themselves to the point of death if they don't transition fast enough"... Well, you can treat suicidal tendencies without immediatly treating the underlying cause. Just like you first correct the eating habits of someone with an ED, before you tackle the reason they got the ED in the first place.
I’m in healthcare and so are many of my friends.
Many doctors have expressed concerns about therapists being too quick to “diagnose” someone with gender dysphoria. Even when these doctors have refused someone, patients still end up finding someone who they have push to prescribe them hrt etc.
Thank you for speaking out. I think some kids and parents out there can benefit from hearing about your experience!
Puberty blockers are also used to stop early onset of puberty (precocious puberty) and for when bones are underdeveloped (idiopathic short stature) in cisgender children and no one complains when they are used for these reasons. A set level of caution for surgery and HRT for transgender youth sounds very sensible and I blame the US medical healthcare system for the lack of continuity when it comes to the safety of transgender children when assessing gender. Taking hormone blockers gives a child the time to pause without having to deal with puberty which can result in suicidal feelings. Hormone blockers are on the whole not going to cause any harm and puberty resumes once these are stopped. Please go and learn more about these things before you decide to comment negatively on them
It's not misinformation. There is no way to put a "pause button" on puberty in healthy children without harmful effects. It is a crucial time for brain and bone development. There are support groups for people who took drugs like Lupron as kids and ended up with osteoporosis. Precocious puberty is an abnormal condition, in which case it might be appropriate to respond with medical intervention, but not for healthy children with a psychological condition, especially since studies have shown 60-90% of children with gender dysphoria will grow out of it if left alone.
I will drop a link to Exulansic's channel. She's a pathologist who's far more educated and better equipped to explain this issue than I. I highly recommend watching her videos on "I am Jazz" as well, as Jazz Jennings appears to have suffered significant harmful effects from treatment with blockers as well as surgery.
ua-cam.com/video/4VpoxGKyZi8/v-deo.html
Cat, your story is very important to many. Thank you for caring enough to share your journey. You're quite beautiful.
Thanks for your honesty and sharing your story. Thanks for accepting yourself for who you are in totality.Meditation really helps as does open mindedness. We need to be kind and compassionate. Your thinking makes sense a lot. I agree with so much of what you say.
Thank you for speaking up!
I wish you all the best and courage to stay on the self-thinking path! ^-^
I understand the thing that you mentioned in the first video about identifying more with male fictional characters. It's as if complex female fictional characters are never allowed to be complex and when they are supposedly complex they can't be feminine and are just the token 'tough girl'. I did an MBTI test and found out that I was an INTJ. Apparently female INTJs make up only 0.5% of the population. I also have high functioning autism and a lot of unpopular opinions about things. I also think I'm somewhere close to the asexual spectrum. I am attracted to fewer men than average. I have fantasized about being a man or being completely genderless but I don't think I would ever dream of taking testosterone or doing anything to change my body.
same
MBTI is pseudoscience. Take the test again and you will get different results 50% of the time.
@@thesocialautist8700 I always get INTJ or ISTJ on the tests, all the time.
Sometimes our choices just turn out to be what we want in the end. Glad you made the decision sooner rather than later, before more changes occurred to your voice. Really enjoyed hearing your story.
For sure. Despite everything I've been through, I'm very grateful for where I am now and what I've learned. Thanks again for watching, and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed my story! ☺️
I watched tis video twice! you are so clear in how you speak. Really good content! and you look great!
I wish you lots of luck and happiness,Cat.
I am so glad that you found away to be at peace with your body and comfortable with being yourself in the body you have. This must have been so hard
There is really only one gender, human, everything else is what you feel like doing to express yourself. We are all 100 percent equal so we ALL deserve 100 percent respect.
I definitely understand the nervousness around the first shot. Shit even the first FEW shots. Starting T scared the hell out of me but all my trans friends told me it was normal. (I don’t blame them for me starting obviously) my intuition was screaming to me as well, but i drowned that voice out quickly with weed and alcohol. also you’re very pretty!! You remind me of krysten ritter
Thank you for sharing your journey. Wishing you the best.
I hope you will find peace and beauty in your life
We are all human beings making our way through life✌🏻
I feel that non binary ends up causing stress and discomfort for people. I know some individuals who didn't really have any issues with being called men/women and using she/he pronouns UNTIL they started calling themselves non binary. Then they developed social dysphoria around those terms
Maybe the people you see as only being uncomfortable with the language after coming out as non-binary actually just took that long to become comfortable with telling people. I felt uncomfortable with being called fem pronouns before I came out but it took me a while even after coming out to say that I’m a ‘they’ not a ‘she’ and to request that of others. It is really hard to speak up about something that is not seen as normal in society. Even if you know someone who didn’t mind until they came out and then made a big deal about it, that doesn’t speak for all enby’s. Sometimes it takes a long time to realise what is causing you pain, especially if you’ve been expected to live with it for so long. And it takes a lot to be yourself if it goes against the norm. People judge you, and minimise your experiences, and think you’re a weirdo when all you’re doing it trying to live with integrity. I want everyone to be comfortable being themselves, including anyone who chooses to de-transition. I’m just sorry that Cat felt rushed and pressured to be a certain way when she was still trying to figure things out. Each persons case for transitioning is different x
@@StiksmccannfaceI still think Non-binary is a croc but I can appreciate this take
After watching your singing videos, I was wondering if you were already able to sing in a male sounding voice, pre T? I know you said you were only on it for 3.5 months, and you have a normal female sounding speaking voice now. Was there some sort of vocal training you did? You definitely have quite a vocal range. Sorry if this was a rude question!
No worries, not rude at all! Thanks for the question. I had a decent lower range before T, but could not really sound "like a man." Check out my old video "Breaking Bald, ep. 3" if you'd like to see my best effort haha.
People tell me my speaking voice doesn't sound any different than it does before and that I'm worried about nothing. They don't realize that I used to speak at the bottom of my range, whereas now I speak in the upper middle. So it sounds similar, but feels entirely different.
My singing voice will never be the same as it was, but I'm doing my best with what I've got now. :)
@@CatCattinson You sound amazing to me!! It was crazy to see such a low manly sounding voice come from such a small "guy." You're one of those people who looks cute in both a masc and femme style. You definitely pull off both looks really well. I'm a really small boned female too, and I have gender dysphoria about my voice being too high, to the point where I've thought about going on T to change it. I try to talk in my chest voice, instead of head voice, but I forget when I get excited. I appreciate the video, because it was really informative on the effects of T on female vocal chords. Instead of hormones, I'm going to just try vocal training, rather than make a possibly irreversible decision, with unknown side effects.
YOU ARE A GORGEOUS WOMEN... SERIOUSLY DON'T EVER CHANGR YOURSELF LIKE THAT.
Thank you for your honest and vulnerable story, you’re a beautiful light.
I hope you don’t mind me asking but can you share where I could get your hairpiece? It’s so awesome! I have alopecia and have to wear hair. 🙏
Thank you for listening! 😊 I have gotten all of my wigs including this one from Amazon. I just look for the ones that have decent reviews!
Thank you for your courage
19:00 living in that confusion it’s sounds so hard for you, specifically in so younger age as you are. I pray for you to the Lord JESUS that He help you to make you completely free. Blessings to you
Sorry I am so late to respond but I just discovered your video. If you want information about how testosterone effects the singing voice, I recommend that you look into the history of choir/opera castrati.
Thank you
@Cat Robot: I bumped into your channel just last night. My takeout 1 from your story: almost they entire society (at least, its part you were mostly in touch with) nudged you towards an irreversible personal catastrophe. Except for your father, whom you politely shoved aside twice, bc he was honest with you. Your good angel that rescued you is your Muse, your music, and I applaud you for having the strength to listen to your Muse, while all the sirens sang a different tune. I think, if every T person had a cause, an interest in life, other than this obsession with their looks and organs, they would not be climbing this calvary. The problem is: few young people have clear notions of what they are or want to be, especially children. Takeout 2: The so-called doctors and therapists who gave you all those advices & approvals, sometimes sight unseen, have an agenda. Multiple choice here: Option 1. They're after your insurance $. Once your parents' well dries out, these docs dump you half-way. Option 2: There is a deliberate will to mutilate and make infertile the largest possible number of very young people. || I wish you a happy recovery and a musical life full of discoveries and achievements.
Tank you, once again, for your gracious videos. However, I'm so full of questions and there are so many things I don't understand. I'm a 66 year old, plain vanilla, retired teacher/musician, so I was born and bought up in another world; but I want to understand. byw; being gay 60 years ago was associated with being a paedophile. One point that I'd like to make is that if you go out and get offended by being 'misgendered' , who's fault is that? {Perhaps inside you wanted to be offended) The point is that the vast majority of us are NOT the enemy and, with the greatest respect, would hope you'd 'cut us the same slack' as you want us to do for you! When I was young, you'd have, perhaps, been called a 'Tomboy'. I wish there was a way we could talk irl!! Best wishes... XX
I understand being confused about this new world (haha). Looking back, it all seems pretty crazy to me, and I experienced it firsthand. Anyway, to a trans-identified person, being misgendered is taken as insulting because it increases feelings of gender dysphoria, i.e. the distress caused by the incongruence of one's biological sex being misaligned with their "gender identity", or how they feel inside. The fact that being misgendered is so upsetting absolutely raises red flags. It is simply a refusal to acknowledge the reality of one's body. However, in some cases, like if a trans-identified person passes as the opposite sex, it can be dangerous to intentionally misgender them in public. I don't think that misgendering should ever be used in a mean-spirited way to insult someone, but ultimately it is their responsibility to realize that people are biologically programmed to distinguish males from females, and most of the time misgendering (or, I would argue, correctly referring to observed biological sex) is just what comes naturally, and they are choosing to let it trigger them every time. Once I stopped worrying about how I was perceived, my mental health improved substantially. I hope this answers your question!
It feels like you were deeply influenced to see nothing valuable or appealing at being a woman. Like it’s not worth it … it’s sad how culture and academia has affected people in this way. And making people so dependent on external validation … sad and evil. Your ability to look at your beliefs is so inspirational. This isn’t popular… so I know it takes courage. Thank you ❤
Naturally feminine characteristics 👍
How can these doctors do something so brutal to someone?
Convince them to ruin their voice when its their main love and income in life?
Holy shit its so evil.
Thanks for acknowledging that. It was completely devastating when I couldn't sing for a while and didn't know if it would come back.
I appreciate your candor and willingness to tell your story, I hope it helps people considering this way of life. However, I think it would be helpful for you to dig into the unstable ideology and thinking that was your jenga tower. Not only was this central to what you did, it remains a center piece in this community, this house of cards. I also hope you have apologized to those around you for how insufferable you were at this time, lecturing mentally normal people who mis-gendered you and didn't play into your game of "the emperor's new clothes". Good luck with your pursuits!
😍
This is what happens when you try to fix something is not broken
I would treat you like a QUEEN
You maybe are a GEM. :-)
Danganronpagender | LGBTA Wiki | Fandom is this a valid gender?
Never even heard of that one! 😹
You're extremely smart and your story show's that transition is not the only way. You had gender dysphoria and you can now see that the affirmative transition is not the only way, or the way to getting through your disphoria. I feel that therapy is definitely another way, or the only way to get HELP for gender dysphoria. That's why I love Erin Brewer, as she's suffered with gender disphoria her whole life. She found that therapy was the only way that helped her. She has a UA-cam channel as well. Her Link to her channel, of you're interested is: ua-cam.com/users/ErinBrewer
The chakras… 😬 there’s nothing helpful there…
Were you under a physician's care?
I'm very glad for you that you found your way out. Transition and testosterone weren't right for you. I'm truly happy that you found that out before you'd gone even further down the path of transition. But please understand that your own choices, both to transition and detransition, were your own. There was no cabal of trans people secretly trying to make you transition. No one hid information from you. You made your own choices. The affirmative care model and informed consent save lives. You chose to lie to doctors and counsellors to get the answers you thought you wanted. That isn't their fault. You wanting MORE gatekeeping because you actively worked to avoid rational safe guards is not the responsibility of other trans people.
I understood your perspective right up until the end. How did you make the jump to not supporting puberty blockers? It sounds like in your case they would've been very helpful even, considering you wouldn't have had to taken testosterone. Isn't the only risk possible reduced bone density that can be avoided through doctor monitoring? It also seems weird to deny something that's helpful, often life saving, for 99% of the people who try it just because 1% end up not needing it. Does that mean you disagree with those numbers? Or do you just think that a person's natural puberty is the default/neutral option?
For me, looking back now I wish I had access to puberty blockers but I didn't even realize I could be trans until I was 23. Instead I was just suicidal since the age of at least 12. :^( Getting better now at least, and I still appreciate the insight since it made me more secure with the idea that I should transition (I had the signs you said you didn't have).
Edit: What do you think of Mia Mulder's video on puberty blockers? ua-cam.com/video/C7XYfffLMEQ/v-deo.html
I remember when the Harry Potter books came out. I did not like the fact that the books were written by a woman. Child me thought, "How does an adult woman know a boy's thoughts?" The easy answer is, men are simple, and yet women will never really capture a man's thoughts unless they are a man. Just like I do not have the fear of a dark alleyway, this lack of fear is not something women would understand. It's because there is a slight insanity in being a man, and (youtube censored this word) will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever understand it.
And if they do, well, then, there's the lesson which inevitably appears, that of "there's always a bigger fish."
I'm probably going to show this video to my GF, only because she is a singer and yet I can sing shit she can't. That male falsetto allows things women just can't do as effortlessly. When you can manage 4 octaves, you know, eh. It's hard for a woman to manage that because whistling is hard and not everyone can be Mariah.
Well, at least you didn't try to be a dolphin or a basketball player.
South Park-Season 9, Episode 1
Being misgendered shouldn't affect anyone, maybe I'm secure with who I am or something.
Or maybe you're just lucky to never have suffered from gender dysphoria.
@@CatCattinson Well, yeah. I understand that. But did anyone tell you that it was ok to just be who you are? Not meaning it in a forceful way or anything like that. Or was all just one-sided guidance? I think that's what I am trying to get at with the transgenderism issue. I don't think anyone has really done that in my 52 years of living other than maybe an after-school special or movie. I bet the doctors, etc. love the money they make off of trying to push for folks to "change" their gender but that's a whole other topic or video you can talk about. I am just trying to be objective but I am just biased toward helping someone to be who they are without mutilating themselves and pumping things into their body to be something they cannot be. It's all superficial. As if putting on a suit or a dress changes DNA and chromosomes. I was trying to give a short reply but I guess I couldn't do it because I am hoping you try to understand as to what I was trying to say.