I missed this video! I understand that gap between your rich inner world and your ability to vocalise it. It's not your fault: language is necessarily linear and limiting. There's a book called Non-violent Communication, don't know if you've heard of it, but the first chapter talks about how toddlers, but also fully grown adults with poor vocabularies, can feel so frustrated that they have tantrums, or worse, because they can't express what they're feeling. You strike me as an eloquent person, but for us INFPs I'm not sure even the broadest vocabulary will allow us to fully express ourselves. Which is probably why we make good artists, apparently. The spillover into other modes of expression, maybe sometimes out of a desperation to get out whatever we have going on inside. And on the subject of chit chat, I agree that it has its place and conversation doesn't need to be deep all the time. It took me a while to figure that out. I would get pretty impatient about small talk. But living and working alone these past 18 months or so, I realise how important incidental contact with people really is. Even we introverts are social animals 😉 Oh, and charm isn't reserved for the smooth talkers. Some of the most charming people I know are awkward AF 😂 Regarding your musings on the club scene, there's that old story, not sure if it's true, about the shaman asking his depressed patient when he stopped dancing. That pops into my head from time to time. I guess when we dance we have to drop whatever pretence we are keeping up. At least if we wanna do it properly, with feeling and conviction 😊
As a fellow INFP UA-camr, I have no idea how people can just monologue for 20 minutes. I need my script or at least an out line. Otherwise my videos would be incoherent messes XD
its such a fine line, having a lot to express but needing to take the time to write it down in order for things to make sense! never do anything without my notes lol
Hey this is Mike. Awesome post. Your other vent was how I found the channel. It's soo weird being an INFP but paradoxically the weirdness is what I kinda love the most, the uniqueness, the originality, like yea, most other people they seem pretty straightforward, kinda neat, but they're not my people, I'd much rather be weird than lame lol I literally wrote a book on that. I really appreciate you being sincere and real, and tellin it like it is, cuz like, it's hard out here being like this lol wanting to express yourself fully only to be met with disinterest and/ or impatience, just wanting to make life cool and fun and interesting, and being faced with so much misunderstanding or unwillingness to meet us halfway, or being perceived unfavorably, as weird, or lazy, unrealistic, scattered, etc. (from others, and sometimes ourselves lol) and like you mentioned, self-defeating stuff like self-perception and the comfort zone stuff, it can make life unnecessarily tough. Thank you for instilling the realization that we gotta be us, fully. Full acceptance. Embrace the weird lol and to stop being gaslit by "normal" people who ostracize people like INFPs, oh cuz we're hard to understand? That's no reason to label us just cuz you're impatient. We like to reflect on the world, often, so we speak with depth, and pauses, and considerations and reconsiderations in the moment. Thats real life, it ebbs and flows, it ain't neat and tidy like a report on lined paper. Real life is wild and messy, and fun, and raw, and alive. The frickin normies gotta get on our level lol Sidebar: I've worked with elementary-age kiddos for 10 years, and they're on our level. Silly, creative, fun, free-spirited, weird, and they operate mainly with their heart and soul! A rarity in this world. I highly recommend this type of "outlet" to all INFPs. Something, anything, that is silly but rejuvenating. Enlivening. Soul-sparking. If it's dancin downtown, go for it. Starting a garage band in your 30's? sure. Wine and painting? right on. Wearing a chicken suit and goin to walmart? weird flex, but ok. Like f**k it just go for it. Anyway, yes, do more vids like this. Snowball the weird, and then those snowballs pile up and make a mountain, and then you ride down that mountain, like its like a victory lap or somethin, cause you earned it, you earned that snowball mountain downhill sloped victory lap 🏂🏅
hi mike! yes to silly activities!! i think especially as introverts we have a tendency to overanalyze what fits our personality best (which is honestly staying home with books and movies) and doing something way out there not only provides more confidence but helps access other parts of ourselves that were dormant. the weirder the better. i love this comment
Actually, your feelings come through clearly through the poems and the art works that you share. I find we’re great at immersing ourselves in the moment, but not at articulating ourselves in the moment - we see and feel complex interrelationships and often have trouble expressing what we experience inwardly, especially on demand. (For example, I had to reflect on your video before writing the previous two sentences. 😊) I’m also an enneagram type 5 - the explorer - so I need to keep learning, which helps me avoid getting stuck in my mind replaying feelings. As an INFP, however, where and how I spend my time needs to resonate with my values. My current exploration is the linkage between faith and ecology, finding ways to help us see ourselves as intimately linked to each other and to all that is not human through our common ancestry with the cosmos. In my twenties, I also enjoyed clubs, especially jazz clubs. I still enjoy visiting favorite haunts, like coffee houses, where I can be quiet among others, but also have a chance to meet new folks as well as get to know other regulars a little better.
always wanted to go to a jazz club, that sounds so cool. they're hard to find here in the city. and yes, i find writing to be the best form of expression when it comes to the heart of things. The whole process of it, finding a quiet place and organizing my thoughts and feelings presents a clearer image. always enjoy reading your comments, you provide a lot of insight to the infp way that is very relatable.
Thanks for sharing a few of your gems. :) definitely went through similar going out to bars... outdoor music festivals with socializing and dancing awkwardly ..... but getting energy and confidence from others ... especially girls... thinking I was weirdly cute... .. but finding drained.... now finding just being me and myself, without having that worrying or anxiety of what others think.... yes, embracing my inner weirdness 🙃
lol, with you there. i realized from my party phase that the attention is short sustaining in terms of actual connections. would sometimes be talking to someone and it hit me we didn't actually have anything in common, so why bother talking for hours and hours? i'm glad where you also seem to have reached a point where you don't let anxiety get in the way of being yourself. its so freeing once that point is reached but i think it does take a lot of hard inner word labor. thank you for your comment!
Oh great, so it is true: it’s easier to meet women who are A LOT like me via UA-cam “infp” than at random locations near me during the next 4 weeks. 🤣😄… In other words, society fails radically at making sure that these type of people meet each other (and live happily ever after! 🤣😎). Maybe that’s why we all have deep UA-cam channels (joke) 😂❤. By the way, since we are so deep minded, we would produce epic impromptu Q&A sessions worthy of viralness 😁. Let me know if you are brave enough to do one of those over a Zoom talk with me. 😎👌. The only thing that seriously worries me about this idea is that the “impromptu + deep Q&A’s” between her and me might open a bigger hole [of light] in the universe’s consciousness than my sci-fi series 🤣🤣. But hey, if that’s how it is, such is life ❤😂. Nice to meet you Ms. Lockhart.
I missed this video! I understand that gap between your rich inner world and your ability to vocalise it. It's not your fault: language is necessarily linear and limiting. There's a book called Non-violent Communication, don't know if you've heard of it, but the first chapter talks about how toddlers, but also fully grown adults with poor vocabularies, can feel so frustrated that they have tantrums, or worse, because they can't express what they're feeling. You strike me as an eloquent person, but for us INFPs I'm not sure even the broadest vocabulary will allow us to fully express ourselves. Which is probably why we make good artists, apparently. The spillover into other modes of expression, maybe sometimes out of a desperation to get out whatever we have going on inside.
And on the subject of chit chat, I agree that it has its place and conversation doesn't need to be deep all the time. It took me a while to figure that out. I would get pretty impatient about small talk. But living and working alone these past 18 months or so, I realise how important incidental contact with people really is. Even we introverts are social animals 😉
Oh, and charm isn't reserved for the smooth talkers. Some of the most charming people I know are awkward AF 😂
Regarding your musings on the club scene, there's that old story, not sure if it's true, about the shaman asking his depressed patient when he stopped dancing. That pops into my head from time to time. I guess when we dance we have to drop whatever pretence we are keeping up. At least if we wanna do it properly, with feeling and conviction 😊
So beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
As a fellow INFP UA-camr, I have no idea how people can just monologue for 20 minutes. I need my script or at least an out line. Otherwise my videos would be incoherent messes XD
its such a fine line, having a lot to express but needing to take the time to write it down in order for things to make sense! never do anything without my notes lol
Hey this is Mike. Awesome post. Your other vent was how I found the channel.
It's soo weird being an INFP but paradoxically the weirdness is what I kinda love the most, the uniqueness, the originality, like yea, most other people they seem pretty straightforward, kinda neat, but they're not my people, I'd much rather be weird than lame lol I literally wrote a book on that.
I really appreciate you being sincere and real, and tellin it like it is, cuz like, it's hard out here being like this lol wanting to express yourself fully only to be met with disinterest and/ or impatience, just wanting to make life cool and fun and interesting, and being faced with so much misunderstanding or unwillingness to meet us halfway, or being perceived unfavorably, as weird, or lazy, unrealistic, scattered, etc. (from others, and sometimes ourselves lol) and like you mentioned, self-defeating stuff like self-perception and the comfort zone stuff, it can make life unnecessarily tough.
Thank you for instilling the realization that we gotta be us, fully. Full acceptance. Embrace the weird lol and to stop being gaslit by "normal" people who ostracize people like INFPs, oh cuz we're hard to understand? That's no reason to label us just cuz you're impatient. We like to reflect on the world, often, so we speak with depth, and pauses, and considerations and reconsiderations in the moment. Thats real life, it ebbs and flows, it ain't neat and tidy like a report on lined paper. Real life is wild and messy, and fun, and raw, and alive. The frickin normies gotta get on our level lol
Sidebar: I've worked with elementary-age kiddos for 10 years, and they're on our level. Silly, creative, fun, free-spirited, weird, and they operate mainly with their heart and soul! A rarity in this world. I highly recommend this type of "outlet" to all INFPs. Something, anything, that is silly but rejuvenating. Enlivening. Soul-sparking. If it's dancin downtown, go for it. Starting a garage band in your 30's? sure. Wine and painting? right on. Wearing a chicken suit and goin to walmart? weird flex, but ok. Like f**k it just go for it.
Anyway, yes, do more vids like this. Snowball the weird, and then those snowballs pile up and make a mountain, and then you ride down that mountain, like its like a victory lap or somethin, cause you earned it, you earned that snowball mountain downhill sloped victory lap
🏂🏅
hi mike! yes to silly activities!! i think especially as introverts we have a tendency to overanalyze what fits our personality best (which is honestly staying home with books and movies) and doing something way out there not only provides more confidence but helps access other parts of ourselves that were dormant. the weirder the better. i love this comment
Do you write? I've found Medium to be a good outlet. I'm on there as OnlyWzrds
Actually, your feelings come through clearly through the poems and the art works that you share. I find we’re great at immersing ourselves in the moment, but not at articulating ourselves in the moment - we see and feel complex interrelationships and often have trouble expressing what we experience inwardly, especially on demand. (For example, I had to reflect on your video before writing the previous two sentences. 😊) I’m also an enneagram type 5 - the explorer - so I need to keep learning, which helps me avoid getting stuck in my mind replaying feelings. As an INFP, however, where and how I spend my time needs to resonate with my values. My current exploration is the linkage between faith and ecology, finding ways to help us see ourselves as intimately linked to each other and to all that is not human through our common ancestry with the cosmos. In my twenties, I also enjoyed clubs, especially jazz clubs. I still enjoy visiting favorite haunts, like coffee houses, where I can be quiet among others, but also have a chance to meet new folks as well as get to know other regulars a little better.
always wanted to go to a jazz club, that sounds so cool. they're hard to find here in the city. and yes, i find writing to be the best form of expression when it comes to the heart of things. The whole process of it, finding a quiet place and organizing my thoughts and feelings presents a clearer image. always enjoy reading your comments, you provide a lot of insight to the infp way that is very relatable.
Thanks for sharing a few of your gems. :) definitely went through similar going out to bars... outdoor music festivals with socializing and dancing awkwardly ..... but getting energy and confidence from others ... especially girls... thinking I was weirdly cute... .. but finding drained.... now finding just being me and myself, without having that worrying or anxiety of what others think.... yes, embracing my inner weirdness 🙃
lol, with you there. i realized from my party phase that the attention is short sustaining in terms of actual connections. would sometimes be talking to someone and it hit me we didn't actually have anything in common, so why bother talking for hours and hours? i'm glad where you also seem to have reached a point where you don't let anxiety get in the way of being yourself. its so freeing once that point is reached but i think it does take a lot of hard inner word labor. thank you for your comment!
Glad to be part of this treasure tribe tribe 🥂🪙
cheers!
Oh great, so it is true: it’s easier to meet women who are A LOT like me via UA-cam “infp” than at random locations near me during the next 4 weeks. 🤣😄… In other words, society fails radically at making sure that these type of people meet each other (and live happily ever after! 🤣😎). Maybe that’s why we all have deep UA-cam channels (joke) 😂❤.
By the way, since we are so deep minded, we would produce epic impromptu Q&A sessions worthy of viralness 😁. Let me know if you are brave enough to do one of those over a Zoom talk with me. 😎👌. The only thing that seriously worries me about this idea is that the “impromptu + deep Q&A’s” between her and me might open a bigger hole [of light] in the universe’s consciousness than my sci-fi series 🤣🤣. But hey, if that’s how it is, such is life ❤😂.
Nice to meet you Ms. Lockhart.