STORY: Apparently I'm Lucky to Have a Disability (service dog handler cussed out at the store)
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Sometimes the public isn't understanding about invisible disabilities or individuals with service dogs. This week I went to the store with my service dog and had a bad service dog interaction. An awkward moment turned into a bit of an altercation where a woman cussed at me in the store.
I tried to be nice and not get carried away, but it's important to share the story because service dog harassment from the public happens all the time, and repeat bad experiences can cause service dog handlers to become frustrated and rude. It caused a lot of unnecessary attention our way, and could have been extremely triggering for a service dog handler with anxiety. We should all treat each other better.
A highly related video:
○ The TRUTH about having a Service Dog: • The TRUTH About Having...
This video touches on the reality of being a service dog handler. The truth about having a service dog is that it's not fun or "cool." There are challenges to having a service dog and many things I wish I knew before I got a service dog! I never expected the public to be rude toward a service dog handler without being provoked.
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If you're getting stared at, do you speak up or do you keep quiet? For me, it depends a lot on the situation.
It depends on the situation. Most of the time I speak up. The rare times that I don’t are when I am busy with something else. I can actually tell easier faster that people are staring at me because I have gotten stared at my whole life. I speak up so people are educated not because I think I know everything.
I have multiple disabilities that are all invisible. They are cold urticaria, vasovagal presyncope, mobility issues, chronic migraines, chronic throat pain, and possible eds.
Everyone is always staring at me because of my layers. I wear my layers because of my cold urticaria or cold allergy.
STORY TIME I was using my cane as my mobility aid at the end of the day because I needed to. As I was getting it out a boy just randomly started laughing at me and staring. After I got my cane out and sat it down next to my desk I turned around in my chair and looked him right in the eyes and said “What are you laughing at?” He kept staring like he didn’t know what I was talking about and then I said “I am not blind or deaf I can tell you are staring at me.” He still didn’t respond so I left it at that but that was when another boy saw the looks I was giving the first boy and looked at him and said “What’s going on?” This was the first boy’s response “I don’t know, she just started glaring at me.” Seriously quit playing dumb. I actually didn’t tell anyone about any of my disabilities this year. Normally I tell the whole class at least about my cold urticaria so it is completely possible that he didn’t even know I was disabled as I do a very good job at hiding it. I know how to act able-bodied and still get what I need as a disabled person. Sorry for rambling but I am very passionate about disability representation and education
Keep quiet. I went to JOANN recently and people kept saying “awwww she’s soooo cute!” I didn’t even make eye contact with them because I didn’t want to start a fight
Definitely depends, alot of times I won't say anything but sometimes I will if something is really really bad
@@EaglemaskJayfeather I have gotten stared at and called crippel since I was 9 since my first brain surgery . True it use to bother me till I just finally got use to it at least I'm alive after two major brain surgeries.
Kevin Lawson I am used to it but I won’t stand for people laughing or staring or commenting rude things about me because of my disabilities. It rarely affects me mentally but there are things that people have said to me that affected me mentally including a time when someone said to me while I was talking to a friend another kid said this to me “If I stuck you in a freezer how long would it take you to die?” I just want to make sure that the world is educated especially about invisible disabilities
“More or less vigorously based on how screwed I am” 😂😂😂 I love that.
😂 #truth
As a handler I try just to ignore people but sometimes I really want to be like "hey you, my dog does a better leave it than you. Leave us alone"
That is the most epic response. I almost want it on a t-shirt 😂
I know your comment is old, but it's much easier said than done.
certain types of handlers have their dogs for reasons that don't make it harder to deal with, but others do.
ie I'm autistic, if I'm close to a meltdown already and someone is guna stare at me for ages or keep trying to play with my dog (I've even had a kid run up to my dog and stamp his feet right in front of his face again and again, while the mother just turned a blind eye, also had a group of kids come over and surround my dog, who btw is only 9lbs, and start grabbing at home, again the parents just watched as I got more and more stressed, then one of them unzipped my shoulder bag and grabbed a 2lb chihuahua puppy from inside it! how is it ever OK to open a strangers bag? Let alone start yanking out a TINY puppy, who was clipped in by his collar so they were strangling him! this stuff makes me snap no matter how hard I try to stay calm, and when it's adults doing fucked up shit it's even worse)
The other day I went to Walmart with my service dog who is an English cream golden retriever, so I always get comments about her. And I had her in front of me while I was looking for tea and this woman that was mid to late 50's was talking to her and I said "please don't distract her she's working." And she literally just ignored me like I wasn't even there and continued to talk to Abby so I said "or you know, keep doing it, whatever that's cool." I'm nice the first time but if you keep doing it or don't listen then I'm no longer nice.
That's so frustrating! Thanks for sharing. I had an older lady like that once. But she didn't ignore me, she said "I wasn't distracting him, I was just letting him smell me." Well... in most worlds that counts as distracting.
@@MommingwithMigraine 😂 oh wow. I love how the majority of people who "aren't distracting" give their own reason and it's still sounds weird no matter how they word it.
@@MommingwithMigraine omg. “I’m not distracting your dog. I’m just distracting your dog.” I love those people. 🙄
The second time I’d be like ok but prepare for my medical bill. Bcs I fall during anxiety attacks and I can have them randomly.
@@MamaKat92 😂😂😂😂😂
"We have passed the point of logic" is SUCH an important insight when you're in that situation. Well done. With people behaving absolutely erratically and defensively to the point of cursing there really isn't anything you to defuse the tension. And yes, of course you're allowed to respectfully set boundaries. Gosh. People.
"You can't imagine what it's like to BE a bat; you can only imagine what YOU would be like if you were a bat."
I told this to my son when he was really little and he asked questions of me about someone with a service dog who looked "normal." He's 26 (jeez, I'm old) and still repeats this back to me when he's talking about other people and their situations in life. (He's the much-loved night manager of a liquor store in a small southern town with a high populace of drug addicts and alcoholics. He hears a lot during his 12 hours at work. I cannot even begin to be the bat in that situation.)
He's empathetic but still knows he can only imagine the BE in that and not the HIM in that situation. I think it was a valuable lesson I managed to teach him way back in Wisconsin in Pick 'n Save when he was little.
The whole "you're lucky you get to have your dog wih you" always baffles me. Yes, I am lucky enough to have been born legally blind. I'm lucky enough to have enough remaining sight to not qualify for a guide dog in this country. I'm lucky enough to get to spend hunbdreds of hours of my own time and thousands of dollars training my own dog. And I'm lucky enough to be denied access to places every day due to all that. So, am I really lucky?! My dog is a trooper and an absolute blessing who makes every day better for me, but makiing my life better is seriously not -that- difficult!
"lucky to have a disability" wow.... That's beyond rude. I feel your pain. I'm only 15 and my migraines are AWFUL and my doctor says mine won't go away for a long time. I can't talk right, walk right, or stay alert when I get one. It terrifies me when I think may have to go back to school because when I get one I can barely speak so I don't know how to tell a teacher I'm close to having one😭
It was shocking to hear, but I understand that she's just never run into someone like me before. I don't seem very disabled at all, so to her, me and my dog were just out on a stroll... lucky me (*face palm*). I'm so sorry your migraines are disabling. They can really put a wrench in things and make simple stuff so hard. I hope you're able to find good ways to communicate your needs to the adults in your life so they don't get in the way more than absolutely necessary. Never give up on your happiness. Life can be good, even with migraines... mine are daily, but you learn how to "make the relationship work." Best of luck 💜
Yes. I am sorry for that, I get judgment for my physical disability and learning disability, sometimes in public. I don’t know why, all I have is looking different, and that’s the same way with chronic health, and I’m here for you! All your subscribers are!
She did not say that she was lucky to have a disability, that is how she internalized it. It seems like she misunderstood what the lady said. She only said she was lucky to have her dog with her.
I use communication cards that I printed out and used tape to laminate for when I can't speak due to my disability, or text to speech apps on my phone are helpful too, especially if you get one where you can save phrases. It can be a life saver💜
Before one happens or before you get an aura you could set up a signalling system with your teacher. If you are like me, I try to get to a quiet, dark place and I prefer to be on the ground. If you talk to your teacher, you can set up a quiet way to alert your teacher and have a spot to go to. Most teachers will understand. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
You know what one thing I've noticed is from just shopping in general (around people who have service animals I don't have one), and from other channels I've watched with service animals is just how few people outside of the handlers community know how many different service animals there actually are. Most people I've seen only know of guide dogs for the blind and nothing else. So there is definitely an education aspect that needs to be tackled.
6:57 to 7:16 i love that. "it's an important distinction between recognizing that someone has a disability and is unique in that way vs making them feel like an outsider for it." is basically what she said
As someone who has worked in a grocery store, We see so many pets in the store that should not be there. None of the disabilities that our family has had have been ones that a service dog could assist with. My mother's neuropathy, or my father's diabetes and fibromyalgia have been things that have put them in a wheelchair. As you said, you look young and healthy, and many people judge you based on your appearance instead of what is inside. They don't know you, or what plagues your life that a service animal could assist with. I think that your Luck level is more that you HAVE a service animal's assistance. You don't have to roam the countryside as a zombie falling down randomly, you do have an assistant. Your Buddy is amazing. My Husband was K-9 MP searching for bombs with a working bomb detection dog... this is how I think of Buddy... He's got a job to do and does a great job! ~hugs~
Unfortunately we live in a time when civility and common sense seem to have evaporated. It is hard enough to have a service dog in public with all that goes with having one, and to have to deal with an insensitive person can be very stressful. The less we say to a rude person the better off, but it can be very hard not to snap back. I believe you handled it well.
I appreciate that, and completely agree. I'm soooo tempted with the quick comebacks, but I realize it doesn't look good and isn't productive. Thanks for stopping by!
Some people. I love and hate having a service dog, and honestly it’s because of the public for the latter. Wish I could be so cool headed, often I just panic. Thank you for saying it’s much clearer!
I'm with you on this one. Thank you 💜
I’m starting to get worried. I have a lot of the same conditions as you (Yay for crouching to the floor in public!) and have a service dog that is currently in training. I won’t have her for about a year still but I’m nervous about the attention they bring, especially negative. Mine is a Great Dane (to help with mobility.) so we’ll definitely stick out. I’m just hoping I’ll be able to grow a thick skin and not worry about what others think.
Valid worries... you can't know for sure until you get there. I think the best thing you can do is continue to educate yourself via youtube/other social media sites to just be aware off the different situations that might arise. It's a lot to take in at first but it does get better with exposure and as you and your dog build that trust and bond. If you haven't seen it yet, I also have a video about the general reality of having a SD: ua-cam.com/video/taazLuYZdqo/v-deo.html
I just started doing my grocery shopping online because of the pandemic surge, best decision I’ve ever made! You just go pick it up, no need to walk around the store. If an item isn’t available they try to replace it so sometimes you don’t get something...but it is great not being in the store for 2 hours
Not to dismiss what happened and I understand wanting to just do something normal like a grocery store run (from the perspective of my own, being in lockdown since March)
i still go to school even though i faint nearly everyday, and im constantly told "your so lucky that you get to miss so much school, your so lucky that you get a private room to take exams" but they don't see that im depressed asf as i havnt left the house for basically 2 years other than for school and drs appointments. i cant even go shopping with friends or go to conventions and people tell me that im "lucky" for the attention i get and its fkn stupid
It is so nice to see a non reactive person apert of the sd community on UA-cam. Its easy to react but so hard to handle it the way you did.
I appreciate that. I like being sassy but I feel better afterwards if I'm not. Trying 🙂
Pardon my silly question but what is sd?
@@half-pintasmr1075 I think it is short for service dog, but I could be wrong
That's so annoying... i just recently went through some guide dog training and decided that I wasn't ready for the reaponcibikity... i don't think people understand how much work goes into a service dog... It's A LOT! A service dog isn't like a pet dog you can take with you everywhere, they need constant attention and care and have to be corrected constantly. They aren't perfect like people think they are. And on top of that I would MUCH prefer to have healthy eyes and be able to drive around everywhere than have this disability and walk around with a guide dog or cane... it's not easy to have to rely on service dogs, I personally love dogs but having a guide dog mean giving up what little control I still have when I use my cane and it is NOT easy. Peo0pe don't seem to think about the struggles we go through, they just think that we're lucky cause we get a dog to go everywhere with us, and I don't want a dog everywhere with me... it sucks to have to rely on a dog for my mobility and independence when all I want is to be able ti do everything by myself.
@kayla’s Life yeah its very difficult to deal with. The guide dog I was training with has recently graduated with a different owner so I'm happy for her. I feel like I made the right decision for what I was going through in that moment in time but since then I've been getting a lot of help for my Anxiety and ADD so I am am really starting to feel better. Not 100% but not as bad as it was before. Hopefully I can try training with a guide dog again in the future when I get a routine schedule going and stuff.
I do think that as more people talk about their lives with their service dogs it will help for others to understand.
Wow. Nothing “lucky” about a chronic illness. Add to that an invisible one and it’s so hard. I definitely wouldn’t want to be stared at. 😳 I get so tired of all the judgement. Like “I’m so lucky I don’t have to work.” I would rather work than be stuck on my couch bed suffering as much as I do. My fatigue is torturous a lot of the time. I don’t get to lay around and watch tv. It literally feels like I don’t have enough energy to breath or for my body to keep me alive and trust me you cannot watch tv or do anything when it’s that bad. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You are a very strong person. Also I love the color of your hair!
Hi, hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have MS?
@@bahachick242 I have ME/CFS (Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome), POTS and small fiber Neuropathy. I was checked for MS but don’t have it.
@@bahachick242 I forgot to say “Hello” 🤗
@@chronicallycrocheting Thank you so much for answering. I'm sorry to hear about your ME/CFS and I hope that you are managing it okay. I have MS and when you mentioned fatigue, I could definitely relate. Keep pushing, you got this💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
There are a couple of sayings that I really love, and look like they apply here. "Do no harm, but take no shit." Which you did, by politely asking them not to stare. The other is "Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle", which is what you were saying :)
Thank you so much for sharing! Now I know when I see a service dog, I will not distract.❤
I really have noticed more since I became disabled myself how badly treated those with disabilities are treated, I live in a bungalow have multiple health conditions but no service dog as yet. A few weeks ago my neighbours who are elderly made some comments that made me seriously feel sad and upset, they said how can anyone not put their own bin out, because I’m on the assistance list because of my disabilities so the bin men collect my bin and empty it and place it back for me. With multiple disabilities as well as medication side effects I’m not always capable of doing this job myself. It helps having assistance with it for days my memory is poor and I simply forget to do it. I’m also mobility impaired and walking out there with copd as well I can do but leaves me in pain with breathing issues afterwards. They don’t know me well enough to know how sick I am or what I have struggles with but they are first to comment when I have help from anyone. I’ve seen them do the same with a new neighbour who now has a carer go into him. It’s like we asked to be disabled so we can have this help from people so annoying for sure. I’ll gladly swap anytime so I can do those things and give them people the disabilities for a few hours. My partner has visible disabilities and is treated as badly as well but with him he can show his damaged leg to people. I can’t show my illnesses as they are mostly hidden ones, copd, fibro, pots, migraines that’s just a few of them as well. I have learnt though how to not judge others by looking at them and teaching my partner the same thing, he has a visible disabilities and he has judged people before by looking at them but slowly he is changing that now since I pointed out you can’t see cancer and should those people be treated any less because we can’t see their struggles. Since then he has become more compassionate. It is a learning process that I myself had to make I don’t think people try to be rude but often lack understanding. I said to my other neighbour I guess they can’t see my copd or how many medications I take daily to be able to even get out my bed. He was more understanding but he knows a few issues I’ve mentioned recently. In general he’s more understanding anyway. He works in the medical field and he hasn’t been judgemental towards me like some have. I’ve even had people ring up dwp and tell them I’m faking my disabilities on numerous occasions. They now ring me then close the cases once I say that you don’t heal with copd and the amount of health issues I have they make a list and apologise for calling. When they rang this time they said is it just mental heath issues you suffer from which annoyed me because that alone is debilitating especially when u have anxiety panic attacks and personality disorders to cope with and that was coming from someone trained to deal with medical fraud. She did apologise when I listed all the other illnesses though. I’m sure that’s done by my neighbour who doesn’t know my medical history I’m sure if they did those calls would stop. Maybe not though as I look fine.
Yikes, I am sorry you had to go through that! I'm glad I haven't had such a tense interaction. I usually shut down when someones staring at me like that and Aries just takes me away from the situation. On a bad day though something like that would set me off into not so nice mode. I was getting a migraine a couple of days ago at the grocery store and Aries was actively tasking and I was interacting with him when an employee came up and asked if he was a service dog (he only had a leash wrap on his collar that stated so). When I said yes and pointed at his collar to try to keep it short she said "Oh ok I thought he was.." then proceeds to talk to Aries and distract him. I just gave him a correction and told him leave it and turned away from her and thankfully I think she got the hint. People just aren't thinking sometimes, I know. I try to be forgiving but sometimes I'm like nahhh those people were jerks! lol
Thank you 💜 I wish I could always be this calm but nobody's perfect! Sometimes those snaps are bound to happen. I'm surprised someone asked if an actively tasking dog was a service dog, but I'm glad you were feeling well enough to have the dog leave it and end that awkwardness. Slowly but surely, the world will come around.
It's never a chance to have a handicap (or serious illness, I know a thing or two about it) but also to know how lucky we are to continue our life, sometimes with the help of a four-legged friend. An animal obviously brings constraints, as well as a lot of support and joy. I have the impression that in the USA the reception and respect for assistance dogs is much poorer than in France (my country), having seen people accompanied by service dogs always accepted anywhere .
I have ptsd and I’m legaly blind and staring and confrontation triggers me leading to me fearing like I’m going to pas out however the pros out way the cons and safety of myself is top. I have spent years considering a servace dog and I do plan to get one. And you right you can’t judge a book by its cover. I already get stared at with my white cane. It sucks it even gets to the point where they stare at my mom who is with me leading to her feeling uncunfortable. I do wish people would treat dissabled people with the kindness and dignity just like everyone else. I am also super great full for those who do or even offer a helping hand or just general kindness. I always found that a dissability can bring out the best or worst in someone.👍🦯🐕🦺🦮👩🏽🦯
Proud of you, Jen. Great job, Buddy! I’m sorry you had such an unfortunate encounter. Love your reminder to kill them with kindness. It depends on the situation for me as well. Thank you for your tireless work spreading important awareness on life with a service dog! 🐕🦺❤️
Thank you so much, Soon 💜
Thank you for doing a much less adrenaline-inducing story about your challenges. I've watched many of those videos of which you speak and I just can't anymore. Even toned down it still gets my hackles up but it's much easier to hear when it's not just another pissing contest. I love how you get your message across but unlike many others I've watched, you actually have a point and try to explain what you SHOULD do, not just what you shouldn't. Education and exposure!
"Based on how screwed I am" 😂😂 I love how you put humor into your daily challenges!
You're a super human being. Your capacity for self awareness plus others POV is outstanding. Thanks for explaining your feelings and helping us all to see we need to treat each other kindly, whether we see a disability or not.
I have had so many people say that I am lucky to have an SD and it makes me so mad when they do because they are saying they wish they were disabled.
Comments like that come off as super insensitive 😩 I don't think they mean it that way, but it doesn't ever feel good to hear.
Once again...spot on! My dad was an attorney and he taught me that there is always two sides to every story and you always need to keep that in mind when you deal with people. Only they know what's going on in their lives to make them behave or act how they do. BTW...I am also disabled but most can't see it so I get those looks too. People can be rude...unfortunately. Thank you for speaking so eloquently on this subject.
I thought you dont stare at service animals because it could be a distraction to the animal? Am I crazy in thinking that way?
No you’re correct! If the dog is facing the person and sees them looking, it’s possible they might get distracted because those people are looking at them maybe looking them in the eyes
No ur correct. You shouldn’t stare bcs 1. It could make us uncomfortable 2. It can be distracting.
I can definitely understand why you said something. I’m sure people stare a lot and as with anything that happens constantly you just get to a point where you’re like ugh can I just have a break for once. It just builds up and it just eventually becomes to where you have to say something
It's so true! And my temperament going into it matters a lot too 😋
OMG -- I just ... WTH ... Im so sorry you went through that situation. I ll never understand why ppl is so rude and insensitive
I FINALLY figured out who you remind me of! Leslie Mann. Phew! What a relief lol. It's been niggling in the back of my brain.
I have severe anxiety and have had it for over 9 years, i was considering a psd but watching this video makes me not want one, however, I may be up for the challenge, idk, gotta ask my therapist, anyways, this was a great vid, loved it, gave me the realization that service dog handlers have the thickest skin of all because they have to deal with this. also buddy is adorable.
That is just crazy! I'm so sorry that happened 💔
Sometimes staring can cause harm. The person may be studying you and planning on harming you. I have read many stories of people being stared at by someone, then stalked by them or even verbally/physically attacked by them.
I'm so scared of people harassing me that I make my dog check at home and I rarely take him to stores 😪
It's been great finding your videos. Very helpful.
Next week we are beginning the process of our new puppy training for service dog duty!
Our son has POTS and EDS and the dog will be a very big help in improving his independence and functioning.
We've become so accustomed to people passing their pets off as service animals that I think particularly rude people were just trying to figure out what your disability was so they were staring ready to say AHA! if they figured it out. Rude people tend to attack when they get called out. Yeah, best to just walk away. There's nothing to gain from a conversation attempt. LOL
One time, when I took my friend, who is disabled, to the Circle K, we had his placard on my mirror as usual and I parked in the handicap spot, as usual, and the second my feet hit the ground to get out, a guy starts yelling at me that I wasn't disabled and can't park there. I was just staring at him confused and stunned when my friend came around the back of the car with his cane and holding onto the car to steady himself and the guy knew him and just starts talking to him like nothing happened 'Hey, how the heck are ya' and all that. Never apologized to me or acknowledged me in any way after that. I still can't even believe it. From veins popping mad at me to all jovial to see my friend in a nanosecond. People need to stfu and mind their own business.
Omg! I love the movie quote you threw in there!!! 🤣😍 The Emperor’s New Groove is THE greatest movie Ever!!! ❤️
I'm disabled, but do not have a service dog. My mobility is compromised, but no wheelchair yet. I try to maintain a good attitude even when people are rude, but sometimes I end up being really sarcastic. Example: " Well it was such a pleasure exchanging words with you, Karen. You have an outstanding day, Karen. Try not to get anyone fired, Karen. Okay then, Karen. TTFNK!" As you probably know "Karen" is a 'Reddit' reference. Sorry this is long. Did not mean to write book. lol 😁🐕🦺
I totally get the looks from ppl...and the meanness attitude...I have a few invisible illnesses...I have severe depression with anxiety, fibromyalgia, sleep apnea, asthma, and a few more
Then of course someone says something about my disability...which is
I'll never understand people like that.
thank god i've never encountered an issue with anyone 😔 toffee's still in training too. I'm honestly so shocked with how understanding children are when i tell them they cant pet him.
sometimes i have these REALLY long absence seizures and people think im staring at them- ;-;
Getting a service dog for my grandson pick her up soon looking dog reward to all the positive benefits.. he is autistic ADHD and has seizures in meds to help. She will be a big help to us.
That is so exciting! Best of luck on your SD journey, and I hope your new pup is a huge help!
It's awful that you had to say anything in the first place. They should've respected your space and privacy, it's amazing that you had that you retained that much control and understanding for a very aggressive encounter.
Wow they were so rude to you. I get stared at with my power chair or mobility scooter. It happens all the time, and I hate it. People don't understand disability and/or chronic illness. My Mom was a doctor so she taught me to never stare at someone with a physical difference/chronic illness/disability. I teach my kids about it so they know how to be polite. I hope someday schools teach kids about basic etiquette with people with physical difference/disability/chronic illness because it seems to be something that is not often taught at home, and it would really benefit so many people
I haven’t even watched the yet video but for anyone to say that is terrible :/
They have no idea the struggles people go through. No one is lucky to have ANY dissability, ANY mental health issue, or ANY condition.
(People who say clean freaks and having OCD is a blessing [people also don’t know what true OCD is - it’s not just having your place organized], for example)
8:45 XD One of my favorite movies! "No touchie." Also applicable to these kinds of situations.
I have a few different disabilities and I would love to have a service dog to alert me so I don’t have to have have my career with me 24/7 and not be able to drive myself.
This was an awesome video Jen. You explained the situation super well and also made some really great points about how we should always remember that people are going through things we don’t know and that even if we try really hard will never fully understand what it’s like to walk in their shoes. We are taught to treat others the way we want to be treated as children but somehow that left and never seems to stick with adults. There is no reason why they should have treated you like that and I’m sorry it happened but I think it’s great that you were able to respond the way you did and leave the situation feeling like you act in the best you can given the circumstances. You should be proud of yourself for reaching at mile stone.
In my state only people with a "physical" disability can bring their dog into public places. It does not recognize those people with psychiayric disabilities...like PTSD, anxiety, depression... Not sure how they determine a team's disability status because according to the ADA you can't ask what a person's disability is????
Five-ever, nailed it and borrowing it! I am so sorry this happened to you. And thank you for sharing and having this channel. I am at the point of getting a migraine alert service dog and this is so helpful!
Some people are ignorant. It is very unfortunate.
There is a harm to people constantly not saying anything to people behaving like this. As hot headed as I can be, be able to tell people, firmly but calmly, that they can't do xyz, educates them. Especially true for people with 'hidden' disabilities.
Just found your channel. Thank you so much for making these videos. They're relatable for us disabled folks but they're also educational and that's so important. I hope we as a society can learn to give service dog handlers privacy.
That's the cutest medical appliance in the history of medicine.
I selfishly want you to teach Buddy this new skill:
Buddy, bite Younger.
Buddy, eat Older.
Good boy.
You can't argue with ppl who started the whole thing by intensely staring lol, there is 0 logic in those ppl.
I guess I would have gone up to them and be like " excuse me did you need me to help you with anything", " I noticed you staring at me". Otherwise. Idk. I probably would have just grabbed what I needed and gone as far away as possible from them. People can be so weird now. It's hard to know how to react to someone like that in the store. I mean I see service dogs at the store all the time. My daughter and I know that they are there to serve a purpose for their owner. So we talk amongst ourselves say "oh what a cutie, handsome dog etc" and move on. Because we know they aren't for petting, they are there to do their job and help their owner with their condition and we move on.
I think a lot of handlers go through a phase of trying to learn to stay calm during horrible situations with strangers, especially handlers with mental health issues, look what service dog paws used to be like, she had no control just screaming at strangers lol now she talks to people calmly and politely.
It doesn't matter how many other handlers you hear talk about these problems, it's hard to deal with when you first start experiencing these things :/
I would never say anything about a service dog. It is absolutely terrible to call attention to it.
I admire your self control!!!
Thank you kind human!
Honestly I fully ignore people when it comes to anything about the dog. I do respond to kids though because they dont know and most of the time it's because the parents arnt paying attention
I went to walmart with my sdit who is a golden boy, I got what I needed and went into a aisle with a guy and child. The guy was minding his own business but the child kept staring at me I said nothing but I was uncomfortable but I had my boy watch me and he done amazing and ignored the kid.
Aww, good puppy! With kids I don't mind it as much, but I often wish the parents would let them know it's not polite to stare.
I wonder if they would have reacted differently if Buddy were a Rottweiler? Or a Doberman?
I was born with congenital heart disease (had 3 open heart surgeries before I turned 18) and I totally agree with the “invisible disability” part 😊 The things people expect of me just because I appear to be okay...lol😂
WOW. I'm just listening to you tell this story and I'm furious. They were so so rude, this is so frustrating - the staring alone never mind the rest. I'm shy and I'd have even yelled at them, I'd have never been able to stay calm. I'm sorry this happens to you
Ugh I get stared at with my wheelchair and people are visibly uncomfortable around me and gawk at me. I do have a need for a service dog but dealing with the public is exhausting. It’s one thing to see the dog and not stare and think to yourself the dog is cute. But it’s another to just stare at gawk at the person (although I will say when I see a wheelchair user with a fancier chair than mine I might check it out a little to see what cool stuff they have haha, but also I won’t stare like a weirdo). One thing I try to do is smile and wave at people who stare and I got the advice from Wheelsnoheels to ask politely if you can help them with something. But with a service dog there’s a chance they’d just immediately want to pet the dog. It’s frustrating. My bf has pointed out that adults are just as likely to be curious like children are (I don’t care at all if kids stare or ask questions bc I want them to learn that disability isn’t a bad thing), but adults should know that disabled people aren’t an attraction to gawk at. We’re people too. So being curious is one thing, and I even personally welcome kind questions that are coming from a place of total innocence from adults because maybe they weren’t taught growing up that disability is normal. Although sometimes I’m really not in a headspace for questions. But it’s the staring… the awkwardness… we’re people too and there’s a big difference between innocent curiosity about another person, and treating them like they’re this weird thing you don’t know how to act around.
Be proud of yourself, you should !!!
😭 thank you!
your amazing thank you.
You are so welcome.
Totally agree. So if you dont have your SD would it be ok for me to come check on you?
First off, the pink hair is SO cute on you!!!
& Wow!!!! People are hateful!
I had to pause right after you said the younger one yelled at you to say that would have straight up sent me in to dissociation. That would have been it for my story because I would have pretty much blacked out. Not faint but just black out of what was happening. Because of my trauma, most yelling & combative situations automatically throw me in to a episode.
.... now back to the show 🤓
ETA: OMG I cant believe she yelled that at you! You have every right to ask someone not to stare at you. It is extremely rude for people to do that and if you’re about to have an episode it’s extra awkward.
Thank you!!!! Instagram poll made me do the pink... so here we are! I was SO SHOOK that they started yelling. Ironically if they were more calm I think I would have done a worse job because the level they were at was so absurd that it let me know it was on them and I had nothing to do with it. But yes - it's really too bad the public doesn't connect the dots between people having a service dog and that person potentially having issues with fainting, anxiety, PTSD, the list goes on. The dog isn't for companionship, it's for an acute response to big events. No need to trigger episodes. 🙄
I am jst finding your channel and I get it. I am not disabled, but my son is severely disabled. the stares we get when he is out with us is so uncomfortable.. Our son is non verbal and makes lots of noise. We don't have a service dog for him because he is not able to be independent. I am always interested when I see a service dog and I am so sorry people are so rude to you..
By all accounts it doesn't make sense - yzma from emperors new groove
*Kronk
Sorry for the rubbish incounter
I hated being told I was lucky at school.
I didn't have a service dog but I got extra time in exams and more time to get between classes and stuff. Everyone was always like "your do lucky for" X Y or Z. I was always like, I would prefer to not have my disability but ok. I think it's because I don't look like I have a disability. 🤷
also you are a beautiful and kind person, I am not that big of a person
jesus christ some people
The mere fact that you’re shocked that your dog doesn’t react aggressively to people who are bothering you shows that you don’t know that much about service dogs. They’re literally trained not to.🙄🙄
I have a story similar to this one time I was walking around at the mall and I entered a store with my service dog with nobody else like I usually do but these to girls looked at us when I was looking at the candles the girls were whispering and they were still looking at me and I am going to call the older one cc ( that stands for crazy chick ) and cc said to her friend which I will call cc2 but cc said to cc2 wow that dog is cute that was normal but then cc2 said to cc it’s probably fake cc also said ya but I want to pet it cc2 said well you can because it’s fake when I heard that I moved to a different store and left but the next day I went to the same mall and seen the same two girls with a dog in the store I walked really fast and told the manager the manager said well they have a vest on I just walked away from the managers stupidity I ran in to the cc and cc2 cc said awww and then cc2 said Do not say she is cute are service dog is real because she has a ID there dog was trying to sniff mine so I said B*** you better leave and I gave them the ADA card but they did not leave nether did I because i new they were trying to make a point. Part 1 ya some times I get my self into drama but I am not the person that will get pushed around by other people expeshily when they are braking the law.
My sister has severe asthma and has coughing fits. People stare at her so I usually stare back. That’s tends to stop them. Sometimes I speak up and say “she has asthma” and they reply with “oh”. Seriously, if she were sick or contagious then why would she be out. We’ve had people near us on planes ask to be moved because of it.
I know it’s different then your disability but I understand your frustration with the staring. It’s rude.
I’m sorry you had to experience that. I’ve never encountered rude or mean folks while working Bella. Just one mom pulled her kids far away exaggerated and gave a foul look to the dog. I believe it was a cultural issue where dogs are not a good thing .
Thank you 💜 It's sooooo great you haven't encountered it. Most of what we see is compliments! Still annoying, but undeniably well-intentioned.
I've been watching your channel lately and I feel like you know what I'm going through I never knew it had a name nobody belived me and I just wish I was able to talk to you for a minute
Aw 💜 you're not alone in this!
@@MommingwithMigraine a few months ago they said that I had sezuiers and because they didn't know what caused it they basically told me to fend for myself ,even though I sat there and said hey this happens when I get a migraine and they just sat there and basically told me they wouldn't or couldn't do anything and it's my issue and I don't know how but I found your video started Listening and I was like OMG I have the same things I'm not the only one and cried because for so long I felt broken and alone and now I know I'm not
I might get a multipurpose service dog but mainly for psychiatric work if other treatment options don't work. I'm pretty nervous about access issues and harassment though. At the same time it might be my best option to be independent. I can only get a job if i work with a family member and I can't hardly leave the house by my self because of dissociation where i've stopped in the road and almost got hit. My friends kind of joke about them needing to take care of me because I can't do it myself. Getting a service dog could be but helpful but access issues are very worrying to me. I'm worried about public access when my friend wants an anxiety service dog and thinks it could be really fun to take her dog everywhere.😔
It's a tough choice to make... being a handler is nothing like I expected! It can be tough, but the independence is so nice when everything goes well with the dog and the public. Comments about how fun it is to have a SD are so out of touch... if you haven't seen my "truth about having a service dog" video, I recommend checking that out: ua-cam.com/video/taazLuYZdqo/v-deo.html
💚
When you said 'younger' would enter the story I thought she was guna defend you 0_o
Also, I know it's hard to ignore people when you're already having problems :/
Okay I totally hear you! I really do! BUT... It's so hard not to stare at a service dog because they are so stinking cute!!! I'm working so hard not to touch a dog with a vest and rub his belly I totally have no self control left for my eyes lol.
"Oh look at how that person has to have an oxygen mask! Isn't that so cute!" That's how you sound. *LOL* 😒 you DONT "totally hear" her
Hiii, I have a question.. can you have a service dog for anxiety, ADHD and bipolar disorder? I don't know if you can have them at the same time but I have all the symptoms of them (Oh and sometimes when I have anxiety my heart rate goes up), I'm not trying to self diagnos but I'm really scared to ask my Doctor about it.
Hi there! This is the first video of yours I've watched. Can I ask if all your videos have the fast frame switches?
YASSSS KRONK I LOVE THIS CHANNEL EVEN MORE NOW
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Buddy's favorite movie!!
@@MommingwithMigraine 😂 omg Buddy must have excellent taste. I watched almost no movies as a kid, but that one, probably at least once a year? Best memories ❤️❤️
I am a little late to this video as I just recently found your channel. I hope you are able to see this comment anyway. The first point I would like to make about your story is that it is rude to stare at people whether they have a disability or not. You shouldn't stare if they have weird hair, ugly shoes or are draped in diamonds. Staring is rude, period. Second, ANYONE who thinks someone is lucky to have a disability has never once had a disabling condition even temporary. I am so sorry that happens to you. There are a multitude of invisible disabling conditions a casual onlooker would be unaware of but that doesn't make them any less serious.
A few weeks ago me and my nephew and daughter went to target and there was a service dog, I said no touching and walked away, I did feel like I was a little rude cause I said nothing to the handler and their company is that appropriate
Is it possible that this person once had a service dog that they lost or that they needed one and couldn't afford it? I wonder if the stare and the comment were more of a pining. (Or not, they could have just been mean people).
People staring is definitely a disruption and poses a threat.The woman was staring and you don't know If she's watching you or trying to distract you to have an accomplice rob you or other. The staring can also means she's unstable which is also a possible threat. Even if she's in a wheelchair she is mobile and could attack you while you are passed out.
Just the act of staring almost Always signals intention. Even if the intention was to distract you and your service buddy.
I'm sure that both younger and older would definitely have an issue if you were staring.
They sound like toxic people, just the act of staring. It seems to me that the older narcissist does this often, also so that she can get younger to jump through hoops, but one day they will do their little psych* drama to the wrong person.
I think the narcisstic women younger and older this is probably part of their game.
I dont give sympathy to toxic people anymore. Because they're mean it doesn't mean that they've had a bad life or that their life is worse than yours.
The same thing goes for the many people who think it's okay to violate your personal space.
You were right to do what you did and speak up for yourself. I wish that others around you would have helped. People are so extra toxic these days. Maybe at some point you can get body cams for you and your service buddy.
I'm in the process of getting a body cam for myself.
Thank god you did not pass out around these people, they may have felt entitled to take your service dog “for their own disabilities”
If someone is talking to bear my sdit I simply say "leave it" which in talking to bear and the person
it's rude to stare. If you where raised right, you shouldn't be staring at all or cussing at people for not respecting others.