Why Dangerous Toys are Good for Kids
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- Опубліковано 20 січ 2022
- "Courage is the most important of all virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently." - Maya Angelou
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ABOUT VAN NEISTAT:
A pioneer in digital filmmaking, Van Neistat made his first internet video, The Holland Tunnel, in 2000. He went on to collaborate with New York City artist Tom Sachs, directing a series of short films shown at the Guggenheim Museum in Berlin. Van has since directed dozens more films for the Tom Sachs Studio. In 2010 HBO aired The Neistat Brothers, an 8-episode series of short videos made entirely by Van and his brother Casey Neistat. Van Neistat’s directorial debut feature, A SPACE PROGRAM, co-written by Tom Sachs, premiered at the 2015 South by Southwest Film Festival and opened in theaters nation-wide in spring, 2016. In 2018 Neistat Directed the short film Paradox Bullets, co-written with Tom Sachs, narrated by Werner Herzog, and starring Ed Rushca. Neistat has written and directed commercial projects for Nike, Hurley, Kate Spade, Tory Burch, J. Crew, Twitter, Sleepy Jones and Frances Valentine. His work has been exhibited in museums throughout the world. He lives in Topanga, California.
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I wish I had the money. Love your vids man!
Hi Van! Can you get more Black hoodies in large sizes? I have been saving to get one, I got the money now. Please get more black hoodies in more sizes. Thanks and love the short films(hate to put video tag)
sounds like this needs a complementary video: how do you help your kid assess risk?
My mom told me when I was little that she didn't want me climbing trees because I could get hurt but that she couldn't tell me not to climb trees because she did so when she was young and enjoyed it vary much. So she said listen up and I will tell you how to climb trees the rules you must follow and how to judge if you can trust a branch. Also letting me know the consequences of falling out of the tree.
She said there was 3
1 - I fall out of tree and break a bone and spend a long time in pain and healing
2 - I fall out of the tree and became paralyzed either unable to use my legs or even my whole body and get stuck in a chair the rest of my life needing help like a baby
3- or I could fall out of the tree and die which then I would be in no pain but leave my parents and older sister with the pain of my death and guilt. And that I would also have to realize I would have died falling out of a tree and that vary embarrassing.
Yes my mom told me as a toddler that falling out of a tree and dieing is vary embarrassing for me not her because I would have caused my mother pain that she would have to live with every day of her life.
She also told me she won't be climbing trees with me due to bad back.
My mom always told me the truth vary matter of fact when I was growing up. She taught me how to be safe and how to determine risk factors and determine if I was able to do something and decide if I wanted to take the risk.
I started cooking eggs by myself at age 2. She was a great teacher.
My mom was cool I remember when I was 5 and my mom was worried because I was sick and had a high fever and she tried all the different ways to break it and they didn't work. she looked me in the eyes and said if this fever doesn't break soon because you have had to long I will have to take you to the hospital before you're brain overheats and you get brain damage. So she took me to the back yard and had me run as fast as I could and that did the trick. Mom said if that didn't work we would have gone straight to the doctor.
“Teach your children to be the master of their environment, not to fear it”. Incredible advice, this video got me nostalgic of my upbringing.
U ghey
Mine to!
I got nothing more to say but that I survived....
Yeah, incredible advice on how to produce a dead child.
As a Scoutmaster of 20+ years, and as a father who raised 4 sons, I can definitively affirm that boys never lose their fascinations with fire in varying forms. Based on his other fascinations you have shared here, my experience would indicate he will always enjoy fire.
My experience also teaches me that all boys love at least these three things inherently; 1. Fire. 2. Throwing things/making projectiles. 3. Fart humor.
This is a generalization. "Boys" are not monolithic.
Definitely number 3
evolutionary males tend to gravitate towards two things instinctively.. 1. projectiles (most sports revolving around throwing, launching etc.) 2. digging holes.
@@fourthpanda from an evolutionary study boys do tend to instinctively have two traits passed down. for the last 100K years.
1. projectiles (sports, hunting, tossing a ball etc).
2. Digging holes.
@@rmhfpv9225 I reject this assertion with no studies to back it up other than my own experience. My sex is male and I was socialized as one (to be fair I'm a trans woman though) and I have a burning hatred for sports. I've also never dug a single hole.
Pro tip: it’s not too late to develop these curiosities and build resilience as an adult.
Will have to check out the book recommendation - thanks, Van!
You’re gonna love this book!
Amen! 🤺♻️⚠️
Thank you for this.
I love these kinds of videos so stinkin much.
Well right back at your content Mr.McConnell. Been loving it for years also. It’s honest and authentic too.
Like nothing else on youtube, so nice to watch :)
I've been binge watching your videos, and I will have to say I love yours!!
When I was a kid, I used to go into my dad's shop and turn on his radial arm saw ... and just sort of play with it - turning it on and off, pulling the saw back and forth like he would do when he was actually cutting pieces . I even took my friends down there a few times and demonstrated the terrifying power / noise of the saw. It was impressive :)
One day, I got caught - it was the end of the day - he had just come home from work - and I could see how pissed he was (probably mostly tired after a long day) to find me fucking around with his saw.
He was angry - I could see it - but he kept it in and he walked over and said : if you want to use that - you need to be wearing these safety glasses ...and you never EVER put your hands here - and pointed at the path of the blade. He walked off to get dinner.
A few days later (I think ) he brought me down while he was working on some project and asked me to help him while he was cutting some wood for a project.
Flash forward a few decades -- I don't wait around for my kids to mess around with the dangerous tools out of curiosity -- they put on the glasses and get some lessons :)
As a 21 year old and fellow spirited man who wants to be a father someday, this eases my nerves a bit. I fully plan on letting my kid(s) work with and around me while I’m in the garage with power tools and everything; I feel like there will be no greater joy than my child showing interest in what I do. This video gives a fantastic pointer: just stay calm.
Dear Van, you've just taught me how I wanna raise my kids in a couple of years! great video, as always:)
don't have kids
@@elemenopey He can do whatever he wants
@@determineddad7935 don't have kids
@@elemenopey Too late bro
@@determineddad7935 good job bringing children into the world who are going to suffer the slow and painful death of the earth and end of society due to climate change
So true. My parents projected their fear onto me and it is pretty much impossible to unlearn it no matter how hard I try.
For me it was insecurity that I inherited which is hard to unlearn. I have always taken the easy or predictable route in life decisions. I wish I could take bigger risks.
Same here how I was raised. My mom was overprotective about everything. It was always I'll drown, I'll get kidnapped or have brain damage. I grew up insecure and timid. Never a big risk taker or being uncomfortable.
Took me alot of my adulthood to slowly overcome. Now as a father to a son, I'll not raise him that way. Like Van here I let him climb ladders, use fire, cook, and use tools(all under closet supervision of course).
I had a different experience with the same outcome. My mother loved me. She encouraged anything creative I did back to kindergarten. She absolutely knew I was the next Steven Spielberg. I was one of 6 at the time. She once handed 4 children paint brushes and dayglow paint, sent us into the bathroom and said paint it all. All included an antique clawfoot iron bath tub worth thousands of dollars...painted with nonsense...that I'm talking about 50 years later. She attended every one of my highschool football games...I was a running back and could hear her voice in the crowd when I was at the bottom of the pile. She encouraged me till the day she died to follow my passion. Unfortunately during that same time my parents divorced. She moved 6 kids as far away from my father that provided dry land. my mother beat me. She stabbed me multiple times on two occasions...before I was a teen. We lied about how it happened...hid it from my father. Within 18 months I was on my own. After the games she went home and I went to my friends house where I slept on a couch. One of three I called home during high school. Because friends miraculously helped me, I was completely unaware of the fear that would become the cornerstone of my life.
I was loved, valued and utterly intolerable and worthless. The best explanation was, I was most like my father who broke her heart.
However fear is instilled in a child it has to be undone and eradicated. And its never too late to be different. I'm 59 years old and I'm an artist/maker for almost 4 years now...not making a living yet but getting paid for having fun. The rest of my family is whole and mostly happy.
Eradicate fear in children....its more harmful than a burn, or cut or fall. Even if it kills you.
Die Trying
This one really hit home. That psychologist's statement on the ski lift is completely opposite of how I was raised. My parents were and still are fearful, paranoid, sheltered people. Everything was a worst case scenario, I wasn't allowed to do anything normal as a child. It got into crazy territory with weird superstitions and health falsehoods as well. That combined with my father being useless around the house and he never had a good set of tools to teach me with. I lived vicariously through other families, other kid's dads. I snuck around, lied. My father's friends (pilots, motorcycle racers, sailors, skiers etc.) taught me more than he ever did whenever they came by or I spent time with them. My mother and grandmother were obsessed with illness and death. If you left the house something or someone would kill you. If the temperature dropped you would get seriously ill.
As an ADST (Applied Design, Skills, and Technology) Elementary school teacher (yes, it's a job and I love it!), I approve and want to amplify this message! Tools (even power tools), autonomy, some level of risk, independence, and trusting ones self are things that I encourage in my classroom! Thanks for sharing, Van!
How does a current elementary school teacher become an adst elementary school teacher?
Yeah you can't roll in here and drop a fake fantasy dream job bomb and just stroll out without explanation. Inquiring minds need to know. HUH? Where? and some details please. If such a job existed when I was young I may have paid attention in school.
@@gcalonzo ADST is a subject in the school curriculum in British Columbia :) I taught coding for a non-profit before going to teachers college so that might have helped a bit but really it was luck and learning on the job.
@@nedanother9382 It's real! I'm at an independent school in British Columbia and ADST and Outdoor Education are important parts of the curriculum here :) I agree, though, it does feel like a dream job most days.
Great video! My daughter's primary school was Steiner/Waldorf. They encouraged kids to climb trees but stipulated that they will need to climb down on their own. Noone ever fell. A lot of parents will not blink when they hand their small kid an iPad or an iPhone, which could turn into a much more dangerous tool!
I have a little boy, the same age. I love these videos. "To be the master of their environments - not to fear it"
Our girl also learned to light candles and use matches around 2 1/2 years old.
Reason one: It‘s fire!
Reason two: She is fascinated by fire 🔥 but also learned how to use it in a controlled way.
Much safer than the other way round :)
Good!! me and my brother learnt to light matches sneaking and out of own curiosity and we almost burnt some bedsheets we were hiding in. Twice, two different days
Good job! Some Montessori concepts. Our daughter did your son's experiences here. She lit candles and fireplaces without taking her eye off of the flame. She climbed trees maintaining 3 points of contact. When we said "cuidado" she knew to stop, something was unsafe.
👍🏾👍🏾 "This toy teaches him situational, awareness... and firefighting." 🤣🤣 Mouhahahaha
You're a great fella Van. Especially for realising not to project your {INSERT NEGATIVE EMOTION} on to him.
Thanks for this! I’m 41 with 2 kids, 3 and 1.5 year old. And this hit me right where I needed it!
Love it! This is exactly how I want to parent my kids one day
I like how we felt you struggle a bit for a couple of months and how these latest videos feel refreshed and fun, we now see you come out the other way stronger.
Being a parent is also being a teacher, and you sir are a good one!
Favorite part: "Now we have the balls"
My kids were using power tools about that age. Safe projects and supervision and they totally get it!
Get that boy skiing next year. There’s nothing like being a master of the mountains to build confidence and be aware of their self in place. By the time he’s six you’ll have complete and total freedom of the hills. Having the confidence to ski down something you could never even walk or climb down it’s just amazing. What a tribute to any guard to create a lifelong skier… Good luck
My little boy is 3 also. Will be 4 in April. We live in the country with land and tons of trees. He is a huge climber as well. Also we build with a drill as well. Also he has been taught to use a hand saw with extreme caution and supervision. Cooking with me with the stove, and jacking up lawn mowers. All done with supervision while teaching him the importance of safety and takin your time. Keep up the great work dad!
what a great video.... my stepdads twins are being raised the same way, both of them are now 6 and they are so unbelievably confident, focused, skilled & strong. Its crazy how much this affects them at such a young age
Your Spirited Tot! I was a bit older than him but not much bigger when I was making something out of scrap aluminum and wood in my dad's lab. I was using the drill press. Dad was near by. A lady poked her head in and said, "Should HE be playing with that?"
My dad sat back in his chair. "Well. There are 4 ways people get hurt with those. One is to touch the bit. For that, we put on a bandaid and he'll be better tomorrow. Two is for the bit to break or for a piece of chip to hit him in his eye, but he's wearing safety glasses. Three is for The bit to catch in the work piece and rip it out of his hand, but he has it heavily clamped. (I already had that accident) Four is for the shirt or tie to get caught in the spinning machine and pull him into the machine, but you'll notice he's not wearing either of those."
She went away in a huff.
"Now we have the balls!"
You are such a good story teller Mr. Neistat. That quick little bit when you start to describe a compound fracture (also known as an open fracture) was gold. Thank you for this.
You really forget all these moments your dad teaches, that you just take for granted but are so fundamental in living...
Loved this video. Thanks for sharing such intimate and special moments of your son with the world for the sake of sharing and teaching.
Loved your patreon!
This is beautiful! Will apply this attitude when the situation emerges.
Thank you for another great video. My favorite video of yours is the one with the Walt Disney bench. There is a moment where X tells you that he is scared and your response is “it’s okay to be scared”
That moment resonates with my own upbringing a lot, X then asks you if you are scared and asks if he should help you.
Great kid you and Isabel are raising
"Now we have the balls".
Whether you meant for that to have a double meaning or not, I found it to be a profound statement when your son climbed down off the batting cage.
Solid dad-work.
I did this with my kids religiously. Things have turned out well! I enjoyed the phrasing on "Teach your kids to master their environment", I will use that when necessary like your Dr. friend on the lift.
Love it man! My dad raised me up around tools building sets for plays, was helping him make cuts on a miter saw at age 5-6, still got my 10 fingers.
4:58 WOW so many childhood memories came back to me with this simple boat. And the quote from Ponyo. Thank you so much, for that.
FYI the much safer and less messy way to heat those Pop Pop boats is to slice a small section off a candlestick and expose some wick. (Basically make a mini tea light). Place it in the tray and you have a much more controlled and longer lasting flame that stays under the boiler.
Thank you! Love this!
Mother! You are freaking the child out!
Once again, another crazy good video. Thanks Van!
Genius as usual. Watched your interview somewhere - really appreciate everything you do 🙏🙌
Yessss... Love the drill tips. I've got them using it but never thought of the bit with the sliding collar.
I really love this video. Thanks for making it
When i was 4 years old and just learned to bike without support wheels and my dad took me up a hill. On top of the hill i asked if i may ride my bike down the hill on a fairly steep slope. Dad gave me an OK. I went down full speed and fell off my bike at the bottom. When i came home all dirty but very proud I of course told mom about our little adventure. My mom was furios on my dad for not stopping me. Today 34 years later I would say my dad was right. I've had mountain biking as a important hobby for decades and it might just be because of that specific moment.
I highly recommend getting a simple kids electronics kit as well! I defiantly remember the learning process of understanding how a circuit works to this day and find that it adds to the skills list that your son will be able to understand in the future.
Already doing some of these things with my kids. You've just given me the impetus to commit with intentionality. I appreciate it.
I couldn't agree more. It makes them more independent and confident also. I'm 70 and i raised all my kids that way.
BRILLIANT! As usual, not sure I ever expect anything less?
Brother Man! You are too effing awesome for making this!
I grew up in a 1860s farm house that my father and I completely rebuilt. Like from the foundation to the roof. Cantilevered the porch roof the same year we dug a new septic system when the old one collapsed. I didn't realize that soldering copper and pulling cut nails out of old oak 2x8s as a child would give me the knowledge and confidence to do anything.
the only parenting content a father needs. helping our children to turn fear into power and power into respect!!!!
This is amazing! Thank you!
Awesome messages!
My day just got that much better!!! Thanks Van
I was a recipient of such coddlement and I must say, I had to graduate myself from hand holding to find my own strength and courage to learn how to solidly walk in life. It has not been easy.
Great father, great teacher, a great mentor. A bond that can not be broken!
I f*** love your videos! It made me teary eyes, when the little boy managed to get the balls on top of the fence! What a great experience this must have been for him!
Hilarious and heartfelt. My personal favorite episode of yours so far. We're an artist family with a two year old and we allow our babe to play the way we like to play as well. It's fun for all, kids can handle it and they are learning incredible skills along the way. Awesome job. Love watching videos of real families.
I was raised by farmers around exceptionally dangerous heavy equipment and it instilled a profound respect for being aware of your surroundings and innate risk assessment. It also demonstrated that age is no substitute for temperament; most 10 year olds are much more trustworthy operating heavy equipment than 18 year olds. 10 year olds are still concerned with holding your esteem and will operate machinery with caution and respect, while the teenager is falsley confident in their mastery of all things and will blithely power through any obstacle with brute force.
That story touched my soul!
Well done, Van! Great video!
Superb Video !
Yes. Lots of yes. I gave my daughter a pawn shop mini makita disassembled the entire thing and painted it hues of pink for her third birthday. Love seeing your vids.
Great video!
You are fucking awesome Van! My kids were not coddled. They didn't get a trophy for less then stellar work. They learned to work hard to win that trophy!
Definitely great advice for parents! Don’t freak out!
fascinating!
you are teaching him all of the lessons I wish I was taught. this will put him ahead of so many people
Parents are often highly skilled at projecting fears onto children. Causes all sorts of nastiness and harmful decision-making later on.
That opening dialogue was spot on!!!!
this is such a good video! I freakin' love it!
So well explained.
Luv this...we are the latch key generation and were always left to fend for ourselves and look at how resilient we are. Your son will have that too. I used to go to Dads workshop (aircraft engineer) in my overalls around 3-4 yrs old and would spend hours by myself playing with the tools. Best thing ever!! I love working with my hands and making stuff.
This is great stuff!
Hi Van, I’d love if you could compile a book list of influential books you’ve enjoyed, especially ones you’ve mentioned in your videos. Thank you as always for making a video that keeps me thinking.
I think this is awesome keep rockin bro
I think it's awesome you're teaching him these skills and with supervision and guidance.
1:25 so good, so true, so awesome!
Dear Van, I've been meaning to thank you for all of the work that you've shared. Every single piece posted on this channel is beautifully crafted by too many facets to list. Some serendipitous timing that life just dished up in my world coincided perfectly with the advice you were given at 1:24 in this video. Which prompted, for the first time, an urgent need to extend that heartfelt thank you. A little tip down from the corner of prescription shop glasses to you-Spirited Man.
(Wrote this comment at that timestamp before I continued) Cheers.
Great video as always!
That was delightful AND insightful
You are an excellent father. Thank you..
Love this!
Another gem. 💎
My three year old (almost 4 now) loves power tools. We sat and built her bed together when she upgraded to the big girl bed. She had a great time with the drill and power driver tightening the bolts. My old man always reminds me of when I was 2 and he had me sat on a six foot scaffold with a piece of wood, a bag of nails and a hammer. I didn’t get any nails in the wood but I did a lot of hammering and never fell off.
Your best work yet 👏👏👏
Superb attitude- you make a wonderful dad. And that ending shows a brilliant sense of humour 🤣🤣
I used to be your kid. I still am. I’m inspired by you, bob dylan, George Orwell, Noam Chomsky, your brother and so many other luminaries. I broke my foot jumping off rock climbing wall. I built precarious structures to climb on. You’re doing an amazing job parenting him. He will learn from every experience. He will view each moment as objectively as you do when climbing or playing with fire. Bravo. Keep inspiring me.
My dad let me play with his hand tools and then power tools when I was pretty young, not three, but certainly from 6 on. I learned to respect and feel comfortable with them, fast, and that has been with me ever since.
Yooooo this is mind-blowing 🤘
Gonna make my other half watch this. Thanx!
Good for you. He’s learning what a child should learn. His good fortune to have you as his father.
Thanks dude!
Great vid, Van!
Bonus activity for fire: making fire starters. I loved doing this as a kid, I'd watch my dad start the log burner, and I was interested in the tinder to get it started. I'd go around the house collecting flammable stuff to light, cotton wool, candle wax, news paper, then I'd wrap it up in news paper, and like spray it with deodorant haha. Then I'd watch my dad light it and try start a fire. I think I learned a lot about whats flammable/not flammable.
Well done. Always nice to see your videos. Big inspiration doing strange things in my free time. Love the synths in ya vids most.
You are a great dad, I love the way you raise your son.💕
Great video.
Beautiful video
Brilliant Van thanks for sharing! I've got two boys that I try and teach and allow the same way!
Lovely video. 🎉