And I’m sure she’s a lot worse than a lot as well. That’s the way it is in life, some are better than others. Why do you have to put her down by comparing her to others? She’s good enough in her own right, she doesn’t have to be made to look good only by putting others down by saying she’s better than them. Very sad 😢 you’re probably a bloke.
"Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say"
I’m in depressive episode right now and felt hopeless. Now, I feel this time is a gift and I will be better after doing what was discussed. Thank you so much!
Girl, I love how you can put thought processes to words. For me, hiking with a friend goes a long way in refreshment, but I'm picky about my hiking partners
Thinking about depression as a symptom has been so helpful in understanding my trauma as a wholistic full body experience - been definitely feeling depressed because of realizing more about my childhood trauma recently 😔
Took me about two hours of journalling to get pass this icky emotional and strangely physical feeling in my chest, it was worth every second even though it cut into my creative practice time. My triggers are stress, and perceived unfair ideologies that other people have, can be politics religion or social. Mostly it's not getting things done and not having a career to speak of even though I am in my late forties. I don't want to beat myself up for not being up to making money in my life, I want to heal, and do the best I can with the energy I get when stress and guilt is released. I'm trying a new system of a "time spent on" to do list, rather than a completed daily to do list. So journalling and trying new things is getting me there today.
I have been in the worst depression of my life which has led me into a startling discovery. Due to some of the different and extreme things I have been experiencing this time around, I discovered that I am what would be considered a high masking late diagnosed female with ASD/ADHD. I came to this conclusion after a video completely unrelated to my algorithm showed up in my feed and caught my attention. In that video they talked about autistic burnout and I realized that so many of the new extreme things I was experiencing in this “depression “ were actually classic autistic burnout signs (which led to a lot more research). I am a 46 year old female who completely flew under the radar all my life because neurodivergence presents differently in girls than in boys as girls who do not have obvious learning disabilities pick up on how to modify their behaviour very quickly (masking).Things that happened in this depression to the extreme had to in order for me to realize there was more going on than meets the eye. For one thing, I have what appears on the surface to be a wonderful life yet my thoughts became desperate and said things like…I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore, everything is too hard. Thoughts like that are not me - are not an option or a go to ever. I felt like and feel like an adult going backwards into a child - like regression in skills and abilities. Chronic fatigue and exhaustion without the ability to regenerate. Sensitivity to everything especially noise, light and other people. Memory and communicating issues. Not being able to articulate in the way I could previously. Going from a woman who conquered obstacles, fears and had a tremendous ability to push through into a woman who can barely look after herself. We are very complex beings and I am seeing more and more the effects of living in a world that demands conformity, obedience and strict adherence to systems. Neurodivergent brains cannot cope in such environments. Thank you for your absolute excellence in your ability to communicate and for sharing your experiences. Sending you lots of love, appreciation and gratitude❤
Glad I read this comment! I have a 31year old son with autism. We are together 24/7. I have this reoccurring feeling that he is my reflection and I am really just like him 💁🏻♀️
Same here. 46 like you and very high functioning but now very burnt out. It takes a toll. I hope you have the best kind of help for your bright mind and myriad skills that need nurturing. I’m resting now mostly, grieving and doing very little but recover. Hope there’s more to life after this for us.
LOVE THIS SO MUCH. As a trainee clinical psychologist who was trained in CBT but is more inclined to existential and humanistic approaches, this makes SO SO much sense to me, personally and professionally. Thank you. I know I'll be watching this again and again. And please drop a recommeded reading list. I know I'll be reading Lost Connections 👍 P.S NOT saying cbt doesn't work. It works for many many people with depression and anxiety.
I can't believe you're not a therapist!😮 watching your videos, I was fully convinced that you were one and I assumed one who spent years working with many clients who struggle with ctpsd. I made all these assumptions because of the depth and intelligence of your insights. I hope you know how gifted you are! This work you're doing is your greatest gift to life and to the world......that you studied and masterd the knowledge to aliveate not just your own suffering but to help others behind you. How awesome is that?!?!?! I really admire you. Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. May God gift you with the attainment of your highest desires. 🙌 wow!
Thank you so much for this, Heidi. I usually don’t comment, but I’m truly grateful for you and your content and felt motivated to share a bit :) I recently tapered completely off of Lexapro after taking it for ~2 years, and I am experiencing my first depressive episode without medication. Until I watched this video, I had a lot of fear about my brain being sick or broken and requiring fixing, as is often pushed by the medical model of mental health. It really discouraged me that I couldn’t find many resources to truly understand what’s going on. Now, I feel more compassion towards myself and understanding that the depression really is here for a reason. That switch alone is truly powerful!
1. Thanks for your videos, the effort you put in it, I know how much work it takes. 2. People who really are this aware of what's happening inside them and so direct about it is almost non-existent, it's a relief to finally hear someone go in depth. No wonder you're successful, the combination of these skills is godsent.
Brava! I watched the entire video - in the afternoon - laying in bed in a full depressive episode. I took notes. It all makes complete sense and gives a proactive strategy to live with and get thru depression. Thank you for your perspective. It is spot on. And in this moment has really helped me.
The thing about expectations when you are depressed made me think why many people who are diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with anxiety, the anxiety can stem from struggling to meet regular expectations that are actually too high for someone struggling with depression. Thank you for the nice video 🙏🏻
This is such an important and relevant topic to me that I couldn't even finish this video in one sitting. I could cry at last after watching this. I already feel genuine hope coming into my body. Thank you so much. This is my light at the end of the tunnel. I can finally atleast see it. Thanks a ton.
The moment a high anxiety episode begins I start journaling and I start crying . That always helps me. What doesn't work is chronic googling and social media scrolling. (Oh and hugging stuffed animals while I cry helps even more. After journaling and crying, a bath helps to calm me down, talking with my best friend helps to calm me down, painting helps, going on a walk in nature helps, and not trying to "make it go away" helps but accepting it as a "lesson" in my life. Each day I repeat that process and I focus on "turning off my brain" at night so i can sleep 8 hours. I also focus on eating only my favorite foods (because I lose my appetite and get nauseous so this is the only thing I can usually stomach). But eating enough and sleeping enough helps me a LOT. Trying to learn from it helps me to reduce these episodes or learn to move through them with more ease. Listening or reading therapeutic information online helps but only if it isn't trying to "diagnose" or "give specific advise" about how to approach a very specific interpersonal situation. Videos like this that are general tool type videos help. Allowing the intrusive thoughts to win and not trying to stamp them out helps. Taking time alone helps.
This was probably the most helpful information that anyone, including my “trained therapist”, has ever imparted to me regarding what to do about my depression. ALL OF IT resonated with me! Thank you for being so brave and so generous to share your experiences. 💕
I'm an enfp myself and never listen when people tell me they like me or that i have a positive energy surrounding me. But whenever i talk/listen to some other enfps or esfps i can feel the pureness and authentic interest in helping me and others. They just have something uplifting about them and their honesty helps me when i'm feeling depressed. I hope sometimes i can be just as helpful for others despite my depression which is getting out of control lately.
If you always feel tired in the afternoon, try keeping a journal of what you eat for lunch and your perceived fatigue/brain fog 2 hours later. I used to be mystified by my falling asleep in the afternoon no matter how much sleep I got the night before. It turned out carbs were my problem. If cutting carbs doesn't work, try cutting other foods that people often have sensitivities to.
This video describes alchemy from resisting low states to accepting the invitation to heal. You come across as one who has deeply observed and done the hard work of vulnerable introspection and acceptance. You articulate the process of gaining real life skills rather than the wishy washy instant toxic positivity that just dismisses and suppresses our human need to be and know our shadows. Thank you. I had got back to a point of planning suicide but dragged my mind back with a lifeline I believe that was the product of developing self compassion. Today was the first day I told myself I would start the process back to radical healing and this video gave me direction when I couldn't trust my own judgement.
8 місяців тому+9
You are sooo right in that part about her not being yet another toxic positivity channel. That is exactly what I expected to see when I've seen her thumbnails and aesthetic she was going for, but thank God I gave her a shot. She's a gift that keeps on giving. I pick one of her videos to watch every evening, sometimes even take notes
I've been in 12 step program and have been clean and sober for over 28 years. In the program we have a 90 meetings in 90 days recommendation. Since covid I've developed a bad habit of sleeping for about 12 or more hours a day. Im an Uber driver so I make my own hours. I have been driving the minimum hours a day for a couple of years now and I'm sick and tired of sleeping all the time. After listening to ur video I realize i'm depressed and am going to do 90 meetings in 90 days to combat this depression. Since covid I've been isolating and not going out much. Im certain after the 90 days are over my depression will be over, too! Thanks Heidi. Oh yeah, I'll probably sign up for the ENFP Bootcamp, since i'll have time because i'll be waking up a lot earlier, hopefully.
I'm curious to hear how you are now 8 months later, John! Did you act on your desire to do 90 meetings in 90 days and/or do her ENFP Bootcamp? (I sense that it might be good for me, too...)
I feel so grateful to have come across this message! This is only the beginning of shifting my mindset around the depression I have been experiencing. I have looked to spiritual support a lot from the Christian church. The message is to ward off demonic entities such as depression. This has been very confusing in my mind and I have creates a sort of “toxic positivity” mindset trying to affirm it away. I am excited to begin implementing some of these practices to support my body and mind thru these deeper emotions with an empowered mindset, and with a coaching and supportive approach rather than what I have been currently doing. Thank you for sharing your message w us, I feel privileged to come across your videos.
Summary: -Intro -Mental health -Lost connections - Johann Hari - Book about depression -The man with Center ---------Part 1----------------- -Step 1 Acknowledge -Mental illness vs physical illnes -Step 2 Observation - 2.1: When, where, are you the most depressed/ depressed. 2.2 : Recurring thought patterns? Create which body states? -Step 3 Expectations -Body state - which shape does your depression have? Ex: if you hold it in your hand -Contain your experience - what we resist, persists. -Step 4? - Fasting -Step 5 - Out of alignment -What is true ---------Part 2---------------- -Step 1 - The key -Step 2 - Detachment - When your doing something right/ somethings going your way, stop and analyze what took you there. What did you do that led you there? -Step 3 - Pick one thing -Step 4 - Reintegrate/ Discard? 51.10 - What matters, what do i want? -Step 5 - Re-emerge - 55.30 -
Heidi, you are an absolute godsend! Thank you for your honesty and openness. Thank you for all the work of you’ve done to study these topics, to interpret them and share with all of us. I can say for myself that you are helping me immensely! I realize I am definitely the kind of person who has a fire following her around as I try so hard to break out of anxiety and depression with all my might (using every possible tool out there) but it is that frantic haphazard way that works temporarily but doesn’t actually fix the problem. I’m rewatching this now and taking notes (as I often do with your videos) and I’ll try to take my time in getting to the bottom of what’s happening. Thank you ❤
10:34 so much that. We all hear the (imo toxic) advice of "In a funk? Just name 10-20 things you're grateful for, every day!" Not saying it doesn't work for some people sometimes... but still is invalidating to real voids and griefs that definitely may be central in our lives (at least right now) and deserve to be processed and all that. (But of course the natural tendency is to push them away, tell yourself "this issue isn't that bad/ isn't worth holding onto, etc". If it keeps coming up, it is legitimate and worthy of attention
sat. Really hit home for me. I have been struggling a long time with my divorce. I need to stop resisting and work on getting myself back together. I am going for a walk today. Small steps.
I’m glad I found you, the way you explain everything, resonates with what i’m going through, I can tell that you overcome this huge challenge, I’m proud of you and this gives me hope that after putting the work and effort, I will heal too.
Oh wow!!! I’m the saying way. There are some certain times during the day that make me so depressed. Like from 1pm till 5pm. And Saturday snd Sundays are the worst
Same!! Weekends are the worst for me too. Thru the week I go to work..at least gives me something to do, and interaction with people I suppose. Weekends are a deep reminder of the loneliness and boredom. Still trying to find the motivation for interactions on off days.
Heidi, I have been on my journey towards wholeness for a hell of a long time. I have watched countless hours of videos talking about these issues, and yours are the ones which have actually helped. I can't thank you enough for this value your videos have.
I deeply appreciate you and your work. Coming up through a deep depression myself and this is so helpful. I’ve heard from others that we can think of our body as hardware and our emotion/thoughts as software and they both need a reboot. Knowing the biological factors of nutrition, activity, sunshine, hydration and breath work can reboot the body and allow the software reset makes sense. I also love that it’s just one thing to start with because it can be so overwhelming. I started with sleep hygiene since I can’t motivate to do anything without proper sleep. Now to move to something intrinsically valuable. Your content is great - taking so many notes. And I see you. Good luck as you work your way through the dark moments. I’m cheering you from the interwebs :)
It’s not appropriate and probably not healthy and all that, but I have fallen in love with Heidi. Her inner and outer beauty seem so aligned, her kindness and authenticity are so touching, she’s a beacon of hope in a cruel world ❤
Heidi, this is hands down the most helpful resource I've found for finally working through the depression and internal struggles I've had for two solid years. Thank you so much for this and all the wonderful videos you create!
And I can't tell you how grateful that I stumbled upon your channel today. I'm completely taken aback by the depth in which you've broken down the ENFP. Your insight is bone-chillingly accurate on every account. This is the 32nd video I've watched GLUED to your channel today. You also correctly diagnosed my anxiety attachment, of which I had never heard before. I honestly believe that you're going to change my life in a very profound way. Thank you for existing!!!
I frequently watch your videos out of order.. At just before 1 hour, it struck me that everything you had said was the culmination of total recognition that you found relief to finally recognize true solution- it was going away from the conditioning , the smoke etc. Watching your videos, I have started to discover that when in morning and my acute creativity mode is awake( if I've had a prior good sleep) when too much sensitivity is added via body movements that feel triggering are those of a fully opening the chi class, its like they interrupt my own original thought. but later in the day it is better to do this kind of thing with people in a workout class. Tutledge on depression was wholly appreciated; I can't say I've learned any more other places and its a gift I love . Big joy, Heidii.
I haven’t watched the video yet. But I will. Cold showers at the end of a hot shower have been helpful for me. Also addressing the underlying issue if I can find it. I think mine has to do with suppression of anger. So trying to find what I’m actually angry about and address it or get out of the situation has been helpful. Daily yoga is helping to move stuck emotions out of my body and place a roadmap to a peaceful feeling in my mind. Also telling people I don’t have the energy reserves to do things they might ask of me if I feel depleted. And watering plants gives me a little lift. And watching birds at a birdfeeder. Drinking tea and a hot bath. And giving the depression time to do its thing. Like the weather, knowing that it will clear is helpful to keep in mind.
Rewatching for the fourth time taking notes this time haha. You mentioned self containment and making a video... I would love that! There seems to be this prevailing view from the establishment towards people like me, that we are cut off from our emotions, and as I do, if you intellectualise, they say, you as do it as a defence. I've always known myself to be deeply connected to my emotions, so this is confusing and invalidating. However I'm starting to find the words for my actual experience now, that being, my struggle is self containment and always has been. My feelings are so deep as vast they are experienced a dangerous. (ENFP ADHD ASD CPSTD AWESOME) Please do a video for us fellow trauma nerds! 🙏
I think what is difficult for me is I'm very self-aware and have spent a lot of years watching videos like this. I do believe that I have grown in a lot of ways and have made huge leaps in my own mental health journey but being autistic and ADHD it is very hard to make long-term changes that last. I have done a lot of inner child healing and internal work (obviously still on the journey), but understanding that my environments can really wear me down mentally and physically due to overstimulation. Ive spent most of my life unable to finish anything, no matter how hard I try. I've had countless jobs but unable to hold any long term because I end up in burnout because of the expectations of working jobs that wear me out to afford to stay alive, I can't afford disability and truthfully wouldn't want to be on disability. I guess a lot of my depression comes from the fact I struggle with work and knowing that the cost of living is only going up and everything is so expensive now.. I worry that I may never make it out of poverty and will struggle my whole life. I feel like I've hit a wall in my mental health journey, like this is my final stop, I will sit there watching everyone around me continue on the train moving forward. I've never been able to afford therapy so I've spent my whole life watching videos like these. I will say even though you aren't a licensed therapist, you are by far the most helpful person I've seen online. being autistic I struggle with understanding a lot of ways people explain things, I take things very literal and a lot of people say things they don't mean.
Wow! This is an amazing video I will come back to again and again. I would love a video on emotional boundaries (if you haven’t done this yet and I haven’t gotten to it). One thing I do is from BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits. I do the smallest amount possible if something that needs done. Fold one piece of laundry, put one dish in the dishwasher. It often leads to more since I got started, but if it doesn’t that’s ok. I tried.
Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and experiences so coherently. You've made me feel truly understood for the first time in my life (I'm 45). Thank you for giving me hope and the knowledge to start working on healing. I've learned more from you than from my therapist or any other mental health videos I've come across. You are simply amazing and I greatly appreciate you!! Thank you for all the book recommendations too!! ♡♡♡
Thank you for all that you're doing. I have an idea for a video. I struggle with finding purpose and meaning in life. I observed that this problem is very common, especially among people in their mid twenties. It's often accompanied by depression and ending up not doing anything with your life. I think it's too rarely talked about.
How beautiful to hear, that the solution doesn’t lie in more discipline to force us to do the things that we are actually not really aligned with. Well this is what we hear so often… And what we need is actually the opposite, radical acceptance for who we are and trusting the signals of our psyche and body to find out how that looks like. Wow, thank you so much for that gamechanging perspective 🙏 you became such a source of inspiration to me 🫶
Was helping my Mother with her phone and took notice of your video on self help healing and to except and not to be affraid to comfront your not feeling OK moments in a day of despair or mental anguish. The ancient Greeks have a belief of focusing in unison the mind, body,and soul The Olympic is that mind prime example! Making life your personal routine and stick to it (if possible) will become your vocal point and aspiration. Life is no joke when we get tripped or trigger by everyday societal over load. Its great to take a break or find new outlets to let the mind get rest and be at rest with no added pressure or resistance. Except you have needs and reach out to others with love which will give you some contentment. It is ok to not be ok but please when you decide to walk out in a busy intersection ( which is your mental state of mind and body physiology ) please take when step at a time while your mind sees yellow warning light to slow it down and green light to move forward because it is safe and if the surprise red light pops up before you make any move, that it's ok to stop for a moment to look left and right while checking your mental traffic flow but do not hesitate to stay focus and get moving once again with positivity. Heidi you are a rare gem and a special lady. You add peaceful rest to my soul and my emotions. Much ❤
An important thing that I have found with depression is that if you do not give it space and allow it into your life willingly, it will take that space and come into your life anyways. Always better to be in an active stance when it comes to these things. In theory anyways. I've never successfully implemented this yet.
Beautiful video as always, Heidi. I want to add a thought on the point around 7:00 about pausing to really understand your depression and not necessarily wallow in it. For those of us whose depression has been blocking legitimate and long standing grief (attachment injury or especially mother hunger as Kelly McDaniel describes it), even wallowing might be in order. McDaniel references another grief specialist to say you may want to (w) allow in grief and actively make time for it. So much of chronic depression that gets into our bodies and destroys our souls is because we didn’t have safe conditions to experience grief. It is daunting, but I’m seeing at the age of 46 that it’s the only way through. But thank you for the rest of this video and yeah Hari is brilliant in de-stigmatising grief and making it the universal human experience of modernity that it is. Edit: at 23 Heidi says exactly this lol - depression is a substitute for true and deep suffering. Amen.
@17:15 This is so important. I was listening to NARCDAILY's videos and he always says "slow your life down." I didn't understand. But.... now I do. I tried to keep working. I mean... hell, we all need money for food and to pay bills, etc etc. My kids need me to be there for them. But, I also understand I could not work at the level I was before. Every time I tried, something would go wrong. I swear. It was like I was cursed. I realized it was because..... my job was not aligned with what I wanted for my life. It took me so long to figure that out. The "dark moment of the soul" was when my husband was in the E.R. and NO ONE from my job would cover for me so I could take care of my kids. I quit that job, and my life went a completely different direction. But I had to SLOW my life down so much. And then my parents got sick, and they couldn't understand my life changes and the good it was doing for me and my kids. So I had to let go of them. Slowing my life down..... I understand now.
Honestly I've learned from you and only you the importance of being in touch with your body. I do believe you bring everyone who hears your voice a gift. Thank you for all of your great contents. ❤
I feel like Iv been in survival mode for so long and also loneliness both contribute to having depression days even though it feels low key constant ..
"take this from someone who has made every possible mistake in the book" Those were the most convincing words of your video for me. And they made me laugh :D Thank you very much for your all of your work.
Waking up sends me into disregulation. I don’t know how to interrupt it. I wake in a state of panic every morning often without a dialog to make sense of my panic. I’m just consumed by fear upon waking and I have to overcome it every day to survive. Sometimes it takes hours, sometimes it stays all day.
Most of my depression is because I had an NDE, the rest is because I suffered from COTSD since very young. Those two perspectives and living in a mostly suffering body makes being " here" ridiculous. Why would i choose to stay if my life on hearth is never really " moving on". My life in the other realm is complete. It is a merciful and loving act for my soul to want to leave. ❤❤❤
My third comment (it’s a record!) on this life-affirming, gorgeous offering from Heidi. I made only one resolution in 2024 - to stop online shopping unless absolutely unavoidable. Apropos the point at 42:00 about the decision to go to the mall avoiding the afternoon slump and generating a burst of energy for other things, it’s healthy for me to go to the mall when for other people it might be a repetitive pattern of avoidance. I am INFP and a highly sensitive person so malls are like death for me 😂I’ve also as a socialist felt great embarrassment at any overt consumerism. But lo and behold! They can actually be a huge antidote to staying in my room with the blinds drawn and thinking the world is ending. Trick as Heidi says is to know what your pattern is. Both downward spirals and upward equally.
My bipolar disorder has a lot to disagree with about this one. The cortical thickness in my brain is getting thinner with every manic or hypomanic episode. The rate of me developing Parkinson's disease is higher. Depression is not always situational. For many people like me who suffer, it is like a disease caused by an imbalance of chemicals. It is caused by an imbalance of chemicals.
I just can’t believe you’re not a qualified therapist and you’re in your early 30’s. Your awareness is something else.
You may not be a licensed therapist, but you should be because you have an amazing skill set. Thank you for all your very thoughtful posts.
It’s pretty hard to beat helping thousands of people at once
Amazing, right!!
She should look in to doing an equivalency test regarding psychology. Her communication skills are off the chart.
Yes, and to Heidi as well: the way Heidi encompasses a message is complete, compassionate, enabling me to hear, process. Sousan
Your content is much broader, detailed and more useful than the content of many licenced therapists’.
Good job, you deserve more audience
Hell yeah!
And I’m sure she’s a lot worse than a lot as well. That’s the way it is in life, some are better than others. Why do you have to put her down by comparing her to others? She’s good enough in her own right, she doesn’t have to be made to look good only by putting others down by saying she’s better than them. Very sad 😢 you’re probably a bloke.
"Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say"
I’m in depressive episode right now and felt hopeless. Now, I feel this time is a gift and I will be better after doing what was discussed. Thank you so much!
Please listen to her video. Good luck. I'm not feeling well also
Girl, I love how you can put thought processes to words. For me, hiking with a friend goes a long way in refreshment, but I'm picky about my hiking partners
Thinking about depression as a symptom has been so helpful in understanding my trauma as a wholistic full body experience - been definitely feeling depressed because of realizing more about my childhood trauma recently 😔
Took me about two hours of journalling to get pass this icky emotional and strangely physical feeling in my chest, it was worth every second even though it cut into my creative practice time. My triggers are stress, and perceived unfair ideologies that other people have, can be politics religion or social. Mostly it's not getting things done and not having a career to speak of even though I am in my late forties. I don't want to beat myself up for not being up to making money in my life, I want to heal, and do the best I can with the energy I get when stress and guilt is released. I'm trying a new system of a "time spent on" to do list, rather than a completed daily to do list. So journalling and trying new things is getting me there today.
Shame is a killer…
I have been in the worst depression of my life which has led me into a startling discovery. Due to some of the different and extreme things I have been experiencing this time around, I discovered that I am what would be considered a high masking late diagnosed female with ASD/ADHD. I came to this conclusion after a video completely unrelated to my algorithm showed up in my feed and caught my attention. In that video they talked about autistic burnout and I realized that so many of the new extreme things I was experiencing in this “depression “ were actually classic autistic burnout signs (which led to a lot more research). I am a 46 year old female who completely flew under the radar all my life because neurodivergence presents differently in girls than in boys as girls who do not have obvious learning disabilities pick up on how to modify their behaviour very quickly (masking).Things that happened in this depression to the extreme had to in order for me to realize there was more going on than meets the eye. For one thing, I have what appears on the surface to be a wonderful life yet my thoughts became desperate and said things like…I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore, everything is too hard. Thoughts like that are not me - are not an option or a go to ever. I felt like and feel like an adult going backwards into a child - like regression in skills and abilities. Chronic fatigue and exhaustion without the ability to regenerate. Sensitivity to everything especially noise, light and other people. Memory and communicating issues. Not being able to articulate in the way I could previously. Going from a woman who conquered obstacles, fears and had a tremendous ability to push through into a woman who can barely look after herself. We are very complex beings and I am seeing more and more the effects of living in a world that demands conformity, obedience and strict adherence to systems. Neurodivergent brains cannot cope in such environments. Thank you for your absolute excellence in your ability to communicate and for sharing your experiences. Sending you lots of love, appreciation and gratitude❤
i see you
same with me
at 45 finally meeting me
i hope you find ways to cope and be kind to yourself
🫶🏼
Thank you for sharing this. I’m a 31 year old late diagnosed asd/adhd female as well. Sending 💕
You can't self diagnose such serious lifetime conditions
Glad I read this comment!
I have a 31year old son with autism. We are together 24/7. I have this reoccurring feeling that he is my reflection and I am really just like him 💁🏻♀️
Same here. 46 like you and very high functioning but now very burnt out. It takes a toll. I hope you have the best kind of help for your bright mind and myriad skills that need nurturing. I’m resting now mostly, grieving and doing very little but recover. Hope there’s more to life after this for us.
LOVE THIS SO MUCH. As a trainee clinical psychologist who was trained in CBT but is more inclined to existential and humanistic approaches, this makes SO SO much sense to me, personally and professionally. Thank you. I know I'll be watching this again and again. And please drop a recommeded reading list. I know I'll be reading Lost Connections 👍
P.S NOT saying cbt doesn't work. It works for many many people with depression and anxiety.
I can't believe you're not a therapist!😮 watching your videos, I was fully convinced that you were one and I assumed one who spent years working with many clients who struggle with ctpsd. I made all these assumptions because of the depth and intelligence of your insights.
I hope you know how gifted you are! This work you're doing is your greatest gift to life and to the world......that you studied and masterd the knowledge to aliveate not just your own suffering but to help others behind you. How awesome is that?!?!?!
I really admire you.
Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences.
May God gift you with the attainment of your highest desires. 🙌 wow!
Thank you so much for this, Heidi. I usually don’t comment, but I’m truly grateful for you and your content and felt motivated to share a bit :)
I recently tapered completely off of Lexapro after taking it for ~2 years, and I am experiencing my first depressive episode without medication. Until I watched this video, I had a lot of fear about my brain being sick or broken and requiring fixing, as is often pushed by the medical model of mental health. It really discouraged me that I couldn’t find many resources to truly understand what’s going on.
Now, I feel more compassion towards myself and understanding that the depression really is here for a reason. That switch alone is truly powerful!
I really love this Heidi, I love how realistic you are in describing depression and its solution.
1. Thanks for your videos, the effort you put in it, I know how much work it takes. 2. People who really are this aware of what's happening inside them and so direct about it is almost non-existent, it's a relief to finally hear someone go in depth. No wonder you're successful, the combination of these skills is godsent.
Brava! I watched the entire video - in the afternoon - laying in bed in a full depressive episode. I took notes. It all makes complete sense and gives a proactive strategy to live with and get thru depression. Thank you for your perspective. It is spot on. And in this moment has really helped me.
The thing about expectations when you are depressed made me think why many people who are diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with anxiety, the anxiety can stem from struggling to meet regular expectations that are actually too high for someone struggling with depression. Thank you for the nice video 🙏🏻
This is such an important and relevant topic to me that I couldn't even finish this video in one sitting. I could cry at last after watching this. I already feel genuine hope coming into my body. Thank you so much. This is my light at the end of the tunnel. I can finally atleast see it. Thanks a ton.
The moment a high anxiety episode begins I start journaling and I start crying . That always helps me. What doesn't work is chronic googling and social media scrolling. (Oh and hugging stuffed animals while I cry helps even more. After journaling and crying, a bath helps to calm me down, talking with my best friend helps to calm me down, painting helps, going on a walk in nature helps, and not trying to "make it go away" helps but accepting it as a "lesson" in my life. Each day I repeat that process and I focus on "turning off my brain" at night so i can sleep 8 hours. I also focus on eating only my favorite foods (because I lose my appetite and get nauseous so this is the only thing I can usually stomach). But eating enough and sleeping enough helps me a LOT.
Trying to learn from it helps me to reduce these episodes or learn to move through them with more ease. Listening or reading therapeutic information online helps but only if it isn't trying to "diagnose" or "give specific advise" about how to approach a very specific interpersonal situation. Videos like this that are general tool type videos help. Allowing the intrusive thoughts to win and not trying to stamp them out helps. Taking time alone helps.
This was probably the most helpful information that anyone, including my “trained therapist”, has ever imparted to me regarding what to do about my depression. ALL OF IT resonated with me! Thank you for being so brave and so generous to share your experiences. 💕
I'm an enfp myself and never listen when people tell me they like me or that i have a positive energy surrounding me. But whenever i talk/listen to some other enfps or esfps i can feel the pureness and authentic interest in helping me and others. They just have something uplifting about them and their honesty helps me when i'm feeling depressed. I hope sometimes i can be just as helpful for others despite my depression which is getting out of control lately.
If you always feel tired in the afternoon, try keeping a journal of what you eat for lunch and your perceived fatigue/brain fog 2 hours later. I used to be mystified by my falling asleep in the afternoon no matter how much sleep I got the night before. It turned out carbs were my problem. If cutting carbs doesn't work, try cutting other foods that people often have sensitivities to.
This video describes alchemy from resisting low states to accepting the invitation to heal. You come across as one who has deeply observed and done the hard work of vulnerable introspection and acceptance. You articulate the process of gaining real life skills rather than the wishy washy instant toxic positivity that just dismisses and suppresses our human need to be and know our shadows.
Thank you. I had got back to a point of planning suicide but dragged my mind back with a lifeline I believe that was the product of developing self compassion. Today was the first day I told myself I would start the process back to radical healing and this video gave me direction when I couldn't trust my own judgement.
You are sooo right in that part about her not being yet another toxic positivity channel. That is exactly what I expected to see when I've seen her thumbnails and aesthetic she was going for, but thank God I gave her a shot. She's a gift that keeps on giving. I pick one of her videos to watch every evening, sometimes even take notes
I've been in 12 step program and have been clean and sober for over 28 years. In the program we have a 90 meetings in 90 days recommendation. Since covid I've developed a bad habit of sleeping for about 12 or more hours a day. Im an Uber driver so I make my own hours. I have been driving the minimum hours a day for a couple of years now and I'm sick and tired of sleeping all the time. After listening to ur video I realize i'm depressed and am going to do 90 meetings in 90 days to combat this depression. Since covid I've been isolating and not going out much. Im certain after the 90 days are over my depression will be over, too!
Thanks Heidi. Oh yeah, I'll probably sign up for the ENFP Bootcamp, since i'll have time because i'll be waking up a lot earlier, hopefully.
I'm curious to hear how you are now 8 months later, John! Did you act on your desire to do 90 meetings in 90 days and/or do her ENFP Bootcamp? (I sense that it might be good for me, too...)
You are absolutely brilliant! I love that you share tools and personal insights. Thank you!
Thank you fort his deep conversation on depression. I need this type of advice while I gather the courage to seek counseling.
I feel so grateful to have come across this message! This is only the beginning of shifting my mindset around the depression I have been experiencing. I have looked to spiritual support a lot from the Christian church. The message is to ward off demonic entities such as depression. This has been very confusing in my mind and I have creates a sort of “toxic positivity” mindset trying to affirm it away. I am excited to begin implementing some of these practices to support my body and mind thru these deeper emotions with an empowered mindset, and with a coaching and supportive approach rather than what I have been currently doing. Thank you for sharing your message w us, I feel privileged to come across your videos.
Summary:
-Intro
-Mental health
-Lost connections - Johann Hari - Book about depression
-The man with Center
---------Part 1-----------------
-Step 1 Acknowledge
-Mental illness vs physical illnes
-Step 2 Observation - 2.1: When, where, are you the most depressed/ depressed. 2.2 : Recurring thought patterns? Create which body states?
-Step 3 Expectations
-Body state - which shape does your depression have? Ex: if you hold it in your hand
-Contain your experience - what we resist, persists.
-Step 4? - Fasting
-Step 5 - Out of alignment
-What is true
---------Part 2----------------
-Step 1 - The key
-Step 2 - Detachment - When your doing something right/ somethings going your way, stop and analyze what took you there. What did you do that led you there?
-Step 3 - Pick one thing
-Step 4 - Reintegrate/ Discard? 51.10 - What matters, what do i want?
-Step 5 - Re-emerge - 55.30 -
Heidi, you are an absolute godsend! Thank you for your honesty and openness. Thank you for all the work of you’ve done to study these topics, to interpret them and share with all of us. I can say for myself that you are helping me immensely!
I realize I am definitely the kind of person who has a fire following her around as I try so hard to break out of anxiety and depression with all my might (using every possible tool out there) but it is that frantic haphazard way that works temporarily but doesn’t actually fix the problem. I’m rewatching this now and taking notes (as I often do with your videos) and I’ll try to take my time in getting to the bottom of what’s happening. Thank you ❤
This is a really authentic and helpful information. Thanks for sharing it, Heidi.
10:34 so much that. We all hear the (imo toxic) advice of "In a funk? Just name 10-20 things you're grateful for, every day!" Not saying it doesn't work for some people sometimes... but still is invalidating to real voids and griefs that definitely may be central in our lives (at least right now) and deserve to be processed and all that. (But of course the natural tendency is to push them away, tell yourself "this issue isn't that bad/ isn't worth holding onto, etc". If it keeps coming up, it is legitimate and worthy of attention
sat. Really hit home for me. I have been struggling a long time with my divorce. I need to stop resisting and work on getting myself back together. I am going for a walk today. Small steps.
Thank you so much Heidi Priebe! All the videos I have watched from you have helped me become able to save my own life! That means the world!
I’m glad I found you, the way you explain everything, resonates with what i’m going through, I can tell that you overcome this huge challenge, I’m proud of you and this gives me hope that after putting the work and effort, I will heal too.
Thank you Heidi. Your videos are healing me. You are the best therapy resource on the Internet.
Oh wow!!! I’m the saying way. There are some certain times during the day that make me so depressed. Like from 1pm till 5pm. And Saturday snd Sundays are the worst
Same!!
same. why though?
Same!! Weekends are the worst for me too. Thru the week I go to work..at least gives me something to do, and interaction with people I suppose. Weekends are a deep reminder of the loneliness and boredom. Still trying to find the motivation for interactions on off days.
Heidi, you are my favorite UA-camr.
Heidi, I have been on my journey towards wholeness for a hell of a long time. I have watched countless hours of videos talking about these issues, and yours are the ones which have actually helped. I can't thank you enough for this value your videos have.
Thank you for this and to make it publicly available
I deeply appreciate you and your work. Coming up through a deep depression myself and this is so helpful. I’ve heard from others that we can think of our body as hardware and our emotion/thoughts as software and they both need a reboot. Knowing the biological factors of nutrition, activity, sunshine, hydration and breath work can reboot the body and allow the software reset makes sense. I also love that it’s just one thing to start with because it can be so overwhelming. I started with sleep hygiene since I can’t motivate to do anything without proper sleep. Now to move to something intrinsically valuable. Your content is great - taking so many notes. And I see you. Good luck as you work your way through the dark moments. I’m cheering you from the interwebs :)
This video is so so so gold 🙌🏽 I’d like to give you a hug and really thank you so much for all of this 🌺
It’s not appropriate and probably not healthy and all that, but I have fallen in love with Heidi. Her inner and outer beauty seem so aligned, her kindness and authenticity are so touching, she’s a beacon of hope in a cruel world ❤
Heidi, this is hands down the most helpful resource I've found for finally working through the depression and internal struggles I've had for two solid years. Thank you so much for this and all the wonderful videos you create!
I found this video to be brilliantly articulated and incredibly helpful. Thanks.
Everything you say is like you’re spitting gems. Incredible
Your self love inspires me. I am in tears. Thanks Heidi.
And I can't tell you how grateful that I stumbled upon your channel today. I'm completely taken aback by the depth in which you've broken down the ENFP. Your insight is bone-chillingly accurate on every account. This is the 32nd video I've watched GLUED to your channel today. You also correctly diagnosed my anxiety attachment, of which I had never heard before.
I honestly believe that you're going to change my life in a very profound way. Thank you for existing!!!
I sincerely appreciate you, Heidi 🫵😇
I frequently watch your videos out of order.. At just before 1 hour, it struck me that everything you had said was the culmination of total recognition that you found relief to finally recognize true solution- it was going away from the conditioning , the smoke etc. Watching your videos, I have started to discover that when in morning and my acute creativity mode is awake( if I've had a prior good sleep) when too much sensitivity is added via body movements that feel triggering are those of a fully opening the chi class, its like they interrupt my own original thought. but later in the day it is better to do this kind of thing with people in a workout class. Tutledge on depression was wholly appreciated; I can't say I've learned any more other places and its a gift I love . Big joy, Heidii.
I appreciate you SOOOOOO SOOOO much, Heidi. I've watched so many of your videos. Thank you for helping me navigate my healing.
I haven’t watched the video yet. But I will.
Cold showers at the end of a hot shower have been helpful for me. Also addressing the underlying issue if I can find it. I think mine has to do with suppression of anger. So trying to find what I’m actually angry about and address it or get out of the situation has been helpful. Daily yoga is helping to move stuck emotions out of my body and place a roadmap to a peaceful feeling in my mind. Also telling people I don’t have the energy reserves to do things they might ask of me if I feel depleted. And watering plants gives me a little lift. And watching birds at a birdfeeder. Drinking tea and a hot bath. And giving the depression time to do its thing. Like the weather, knowing that it will clear is helpful to keep in mind.
Genuine heartfelt thank you for taking the time to create and share these videos. They are giving me a different perspective which is giving me hope.🌸
Thank you for taking the time to help us get better.
Thanks Heidi for your videos. They are easy to understand and filled with such helpful advice. Really appreciate you!
I need more of these videos! Perhaps this is the only video about depression that made sense to me so far. Thank you.
Rewatching for the fourth time taking notes this time haha. You mentioned self containment and making a video... I would love that! There seems to be this prevailing view from the establishment towards people like me, that we are cut off from our emotions, and as I do, if you intellectualise, they say, you as do it as a defence. I've always known myself to be deeply connected to my emotions, so this is confusing and invalidating. However I'm starting to find the words for my actual experience now, that being, my struggle is self containment and always has been. My feelings are so deep as vast they are experienced a dangerous. (ENFP ADHD ASD CPSTD AWESOME) Please do a video for us fellow trauma nerds! 🙏
I think what is difficult for me is I'm very self-aware and have spent a lot of years watching videos like this. I do believe that I have grown in a lot of ways and have made huge leaps in my own mental health journey but being autistic and ADHD it is very hard to make long-term changes that last. I have done a lot of inner child healing and internal work (obviously still on the journey), but understanding that my environments can really wear me down mentally and physically due to overstimulation. Ive spent most of my life unable to finish anything, no matter how hard I try. I've had countless jobs but unable to hold any long term because I end up in burnout because of the expectations of working jobs that wear me out to afford to stay alive, I can't afford disability and truthfully wouldn't want to be on disability. I guess a lot of my depression comes from the fact I struggle with work and knowing that the cost of living is only going up and everything is so expensive now.. I worry that I may never make it out of poverty and will struggle my whole life. I feel like I've hit a wall in my mental health journey, like this is my final stop, I will sit there watching everyone around me continue on the train moving forward. I've never been able to afford therapy so I've spent my whole life watching videos like these. I will say even though you aren't a licensed therapist, you are by far the most helpful person I've seen online. being autistic I struggle with understanding a lot of ways people explain things, I take things very literal and a lot of people say things they don't mean.
You are doing more good sharing your experience and knowledge publicly than anyone can just doing credentialed private practice.
Your videos saved my life. Thank you Heidi 🖤
Your channel is a miracle!
Thank you so much, this came at a time of dire need. 😊
I cannot begin to explain just how much your videos have helped me gain so much insight into my life! THANK YOU!
Thank you for the book recommendation. What a good teacher you are!
Wow! This is an amazing video I will come back to again and again. I would love a video on emotional boundaries (if you haven’t done this yet and I haven’t gotten to it).
One thing I do is from BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits. I do the smallest amount possible if something that needs done. Fold one piece of laundry, put one dish in the dishwasher. It often leads to more since I got started, but if it doesn’t that’s ok. I tried.
This sounds good. I'd try this. Thank you for sharing.
Your voice and thoughts are so soothing and insightful. This video popped up at just the right time.
Would love a video on self containment of emotions. So impressed by your material and articulation of it. Thank you Thank you!!
Thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and experiences so coherently. You've made me feel truly understood for the first time in my life (I'm 45). Thank you for giving me hope and the knowledge to start working on healing. I've learned more from you than from my therapist or any other mental health videos I've come across. You are simply amazing and I greatly appreciate you!! Thank you for all the book recommendations too!! ♡♡♡
Been going through it! Taking notes! Thanks Heidi ❤
You ate so good at what you do here. Very grateful for your videos! 🐜
I'm grateful for your vulnerability and posting these videos.
So much of what you say in this video, and on your channel, is aligned with Chassidic wisdom.
Thank you Heidi. Your videos have helped me immensely.
Thank you for all that you're doing. I have an idea for a video. I struggle with finding purpose and meaning in life. I observed that this problem is very common, especially among people in their mid twenties. It's often accompanied by depression and ending up not doing anything with your life. I think it's too rarely talked about.
How beautiful to hear, that the solution doesn’t lie in more discipline to force us to do the things that we are actually not really aligned with.
Well this is what we hear so often…
And what we need is actually the opposite, radical acceptance for who we are and trusting the signals of our psyche and body to find out how that looks like. Wow, thank you so much for that gamechanging perspective 🙏 you became such a source of inspiration to me 🫶
You have the mind of a scientist. Love your videos ❤
Was helping my Mother with her phone and took notice of your video on self help healing and to except and not to be affraid to comfront your not feeling OK moments in a day of despair or mental anguish.
The ancient Greeks have a belief of focusing in unison the mind, body,and soul
The Olympic is that mind prime example!
Making life your personal routine and stick to it (if possible) will become your vocal point and aspiration.
Life is no joke when we get tripped or trigger by everyday societal over load.
Its great to take a break
or find new outlets to let the mind get rest and be at rest with no added pressure or resistance.
Except you have needs and reach out to others with love which will give you some contentment.
It is ok to not be ok but please when you decide to walk out in a busy intersection ( which is your mental state of mind and body physiology ) please take when step at a time while your mind sees yellow warning light to slow it down and green light to move forward because it is safe and if the surprise red light pops up before you make any move, that it's ok to stop for a moment to look left and right while checking your mental traffic flow but do not hesitate to stay focus and get moving once again with positivity.
Heidi you are a rare gem and a special lady.
You add peaceful rest to my soul and my emotions.
Much ❤
An important thing that I have found with depression is that if you do not give it space and allow it into your life willingly, it will take that space and come into your life anyways. Always better to be in an active stance when it comes to these things. In theory anyways. I've never successfully implemented this yet.
Thank u so much Heidi that was brilliant ❤️🙏
Beautiful video as always, Heidi. I want to add a thought on the point around 7:00 about pausing to really understand your depression and not necessarily wallow in it. For those of us whose depression has been blocking legitimate and long standing grief (attachment injury or especially mother hunger as Kelly McDaniel describes it), even wallowing might be in order. McDaniel references another grief specialist to say you may want to (w) allow in grief and actively make time for it. So much of chronic depression that gets into our bodies and destroys our souls is because we didn’t have safe conditions to experience grief. It is daunting, but I’m seeing at the age of 46 that it’s the only way through. But thank you for the rest of this video and yeah Hari is brilliant in de-stigmatising grief and making it the universal human experience of modernity that it is.
Edit: at 23 Heidi says exactly this lol - depression is a substitute for true and deep suffering. Amen.
@17:15 This is so important. I was listening to NARCDAILY's videos and he always says "slow your life down." I didn't understand. But.... now I do. I tried to keep working. I mean... hell, we all need money for food and to pay bills, etc etc. My kids need me to be there for them. But, I also understand I could not work at the level I was before. Every time I tried, something would go wrong. I swear. It was like I was cursed. I realized it was because..... my job was not aligned with what I wanted for my life. It took me so long to figure that out. The "dark moment of the soul" was when my husband was in the E.R. and NO ONE from my job would cover for me so I could take care of my kids. I quit that job, and my life went a completely different direction. But I had to SLOW my life down so much. And then my parents got sick, and they couldn't understand my life changes and the good it was doing for me and my kids. So I had to let go of them. Slowing my life down..... I understand now.
Honestly I've learned from you and only you the importance of being in touch with your body. I do believe you bring everyone who hears your voice a gift.
Thank you for all of your great contents. ❤
I would reccommend this video to absolutely anyone, even people that do not struggle with depression
Heidi I appreciate your videos so much, thank you for all that you do.
I can go about each day, but I can cry with little provocation and daydream about suicide a lot.
Thank you so much for this video, and all of your Chanel 🙏🏽 i can just say that i found you in the exact right time in my life ❤️
Traditional Chinese Medicine has body clock with organs corresponding to certain emotions during each of the two hour body organ hours.
Fantastic... emotional well-being instead of mental health. Good luck on your career path, Heidi.
This is amazing 🌼 Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom 💜
Thank you Heidi for sharing, you eyes are beautiful and your internal vision also.
I feel like Iv been in survival mode for so long and also loneliness both contribute to having depression days even though it feels low key constant ..
"take this from someone who has made every possible mistake in the book"
Those were the most convincing words of your video for me. And they made me laugh :D Thank you very much for your all of your work.
You should have your own talk show!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! This is so helpful!!!!
Waking up sends me into disregulation. I don’t know how to interrupt it. I wake in a state of panic every morning often without a dialog to make sense of my panic. I’m just consumed by fear upon waking and I have to overcome it every day to survive. Sometimes it takes hours, sometimes it stays all day.
Most of my depression is because I had an NDE, the rest is because I suffered from COTSD since very young. Those two perspectives and living in a mostly suffering body makes being " here" ridiculous. Why would i choose to stay if my life on hearth is never really " moving on". My life in the other realm is complete. It is a merciful and loving act for my soul to want to leave. ❤❤❤
Thank you! This was gold
Gosh, watching and listening to you is like looking in a mirror. It is eery how similar we are and think.
My third comment (it’s a record!) on this life-affirming, gorgeous offering from Heidi. I made only one resolution in 2024 - to stop online shopping unless absolutely unavoidable. Apropos the point at 42:00 about the decision to go to the mall avoiding the afternoon slump and generating a burst of energy for other things, it’s healthy for me to go to the mall when for other people it might be a repetitive pattern of avoidance. I am INFP and a highly sensitive person so malls are like death for me 😂I’ve also as a socialist felt great embarrassment at any overt consumerism. But lo and behold! They can actually be a huge antidote to staying in my room with the blinds drawn and thinking the world is ending. Trick as Heidi says is to know what your pattern is. Both downward spirals and upward equally.
Thanks❤❤❤great stuff, been sick, will get back🎉
you're so good Heidi
My bipolar disorder has a lot to disagree with about this one. The cortical thickness in my brain is getting thinner with every manic or hypomanic episode. The rate of me developing Parkinson's disease is higher. Depression is not always situational. For many people like me who suffer, it is like a disease caused by an imbalance of chemicals. It is caused by an imbalance of chemicals.