Appreciation in a marriage is huge! I know that my late husband always appreciated when I appreciated him…. even in the small things that he did for me. I look back and realize how very lucky I was. Also, women have a tendency to complain, and I feel complaining has a lot to do with the delivery and the tone of your voice. When it’s delivered in a condescending manner that makes them feel defeated it’s never productive. If anything, it causes them to withdraw. It’s very damaging to men. Whenever I had a concern. I like to use the word concern because it’s a softer word lol I would go to him and present it in a pleasant tone voice, and I would always end the conversation on a positive note, so I wouldn’t leave him in a defeated state. A good rule of thumb that my late husband and I used to use is that it was not me and him against one another. It was me and him against the problem.
I'm binging on Alison's content. wow it is so refreshing as a man and actually helps me understand myself more and validates what I experience with women. I believe this is good for men to listen to because then we can be more clear on what kind of woman to give our energy to. Hearing a woman describe a man's motivations who has clearly given the time and attention to men to deeply understand is like food for the soul. Thank you for this!
Graciously receive, acknowledge & appreciate from a man ~ well said Michelle Its not about things its about your presence, your time investment, your quality of attention. How you relate to a man, how do you make them feel ? Its not about over investing, over giving, over expecting Its about the ebb and flow of giving and receiving what they value not what you value. Their love language may not be yours, I was told I was speaking Chinese, lol. How men respond to women is how women respond to men ~
As an older man, my biggest problem with women is with masculine women. It is exhausting to be constantly fighting over who is the man. I have found if you let them dominate you you they will try to destroy you mentally. So either you are fighting over who is the man or you are being emasculated. It is a lose-lose game. The only way to win is to not play that game.
I have found the most effective way to deal with the masculine woman is to know when to fight(over matters of substance like values/principles) and when not to fight(over matters of style like wearing well-coordinated colors) to social events where women tend to be especially sensitive to what other women think or feel. But, choosing well when you fight or walk away from her is critical.
She has a nice voice! This is the first time I heard her.. this was a great teaching on love. I'm glad she's shining light on how men actually RESPOND TO US! WOW. 👏👏👏👏👏 I feel so inspired. And thank you Ms. Michelle for creating this channel. #Golden
Ladies, as a man, let me tell you Alison Armstrong is right about a lot... not 100% right mind you, but she's the closest I've ever come across to a woman who knows how men actually are and what women need to do to find and keep a man. Mind you, I think there is a lot she is leaving out, especially about men and women who grew up with single mothers, how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can impact relationship dynamics, how the 'deregulated' sexual market place works, as well as the impact female hypergamy and evolutionary biology plays throughout a relationship. However, you can Google these things as supplimentary material to Alison's work and be miles ahead of the pack. Good luck out there, hope you find a virtuous man and have lifelong love and happiness!
Thanks for watching and for your comment too. Of course, Alison can only share one small piece of her work in a single interview, but she has probably studied men more than any other woman on the planet! Her work is very powerful! Take care.
I really love it and it’s really helpful when thoughtful, articulate men comment on content like this. Thank you for doing this and adding your extra pieces around sexual social status (I had to look up what hypergamy means!) and I liked your word use “deregulated sexual market”! Very helpful! 🏆
While I agree with the importance of including things like ACE’s, trauma, attachment styles... The idea of hypergamy and regulation of sex... all that seems like narratives based on some biases, myopia, nostalgic fog and much more. To attempt to make such profoundly complex dynamics categorized, and more binary...seems to be cognitively lazy, at best. While, yes, men are more motivated by sex... and women more motivated by safety and security... there are so, so many influencing factors! Just as many women struggle to understand men...so do men vastly not understand what women want. Due to this confusion, insecurity, they try to create narratives that are massive generalizations that rarely have much truth. Just as more men commit rape and violence (also against other men, not just women) that doesn’t mean their qualities fit every man. There may be some women who are marrying for status or whatever...but that’s much more rare than certain male groups perpetuate. Same with the hilarious concept that women care about genital size and such... it’s men’s insecurities projected out, insisting those are women’s goals or wishes. When they’re mostly not. Most women want emotional intelligence. First and foremost. I do think that as more women realize that’s not happening with men (a study showed that only 35% of men are emotionally intelligent)...it might be part of the drive of more women leaving men for other women. They get the emotional connection they’ve been craving.
@@Alphacentauri819 absolutely spot on about women wanting more emotional intelligence from a man. I recently dated someone and sadly it didn’t go anywhere because he was giving me nothing in terms of driving the connection forward.... I kept having to ask him about his feelings and this most likely de-masculined him as he was following the typical American bro advice of treat them mean, keep them keen by showing avoidance tendencies. On our one and only date he kept diverting the conversation to sex, he kissed me passionately three times throughout the night, all prompted by him, and when we were outside the hotel he suggested sex twice. He knew from our texts in the weeks leading up to the date that I didn’t do one night stands or casual hook ups but he still pressed for it. A few days later, I had to get into my masculine energy yet again by asking him for feedback on the date. He said it was amazing, I was sweet, easy to be around but something was missing - there was no chemistry or sexual tension or desire to rip each other’s clothes off. Well duhhhh, I shut him down at every attempt he made for sex so as not to lead him on and think it was going to happen?! What did he expect me to do? Encourage him or go back on my word and make him the exception?! Pshhh dodged the bullet with that guy let me tell you! 😂
Alison sounds like a woman who a man would love to please, because she would reward him with appreciation. The sad truth today is that many women feel highly entitled, making it impossible for a her man to gain that reward. Men typically move on - or move out - from such a relationship.
I would agree, I think this has to do with 3rd and 4th wave Feminism in the West. I'd say most Western men, while not labelling themselves as Feminists, would agree with the principles of 1st and 2nd wave Feminism. However, the introduction of intersectionality and superiority of women over men (3rd and 4th wave), as well as the replacement of fathers by the welfare state, has created that entitlement you refer too.
As a mature man (64 years of age/experience) I don't need "crazy in love". I need a mentally and emotionally stable woman who has taken ownership of her childhood and other Emotional baggage and is actively working on herself to correct her own internal misperceptions and fears. Translation: I like peace and quiet and being as cooperative as I can be without the drama of constant fighting for control.
Great episode. As a single Mom I can tell you that making that space can be hard but as my daughter is now a teen it’s a little easier. I just think it’s a totally different ball game for single Mothers. I have all but given up in relationships because of the energy that’s required of me to do what I do as sole provider, only parent, etc. I do have a glimmer of hope listening to these podcasts though
YES and women with multiple (more than six ) children, because I am constantly reinforcing the do do mode and not enough space in between to rest into my feminine in the time my husband is home. It’s challenging when they are small.. but I love how you are finding the moments as your child is a teen now❤
I see women emasculating men A LOT. It's almost ingrained in our modern day dating/relationship culture. "I don't need no man" "Men ain't shit" Women putting down men because they think it's funny and it boosts their own confidence/status thinking they are "impressing" the man or other men. Ladies, this sort of behavior is really a terrible thing that pushes men away, finds you weak simping men, or gets you into confrontations with men. Ideally, you want to be respectful and appreciate of the man you are with. That is what will help the relationship and create a powerful masculine-feminine dynamic.
I think the issue can be reactionary sometimes... too many women were told that they’re “using” men, or trying to be gold-diggers. Many have gone out of their way to do it on their own and then are shamed for it...feels like they can’t win. Many had to do it on their own, when a man ditched and left the woman with all the responsibility. Financial, childcare, everything.Those women become hyper-independent and since they were failed by men...they don’t trust that it’ll be ok to depend on a man for anything. They don’t ever want to be vulnerable to that again. It’s hard to do it all and have no one else. Especially when it wasn’t supposed to be that way. Look to the “why” women became that way...and maybe you’ll realize it wasn’t out to get men, but for survival and self preservation.
Yes, to much Emasculating going on, your bang on Alison, I wish that eveyone heres this message because, lots of woman portray that they dont need us, so why would we waste our time staying
Women say this because they don't want to be perceived as "needy", which they perceived to be a turnoff to men. Women want to be wanted, men want to be needed.
Good stuff. It’s one of those things that I wouldn’t have thought needed explanation, but that has happened a few times with her stuff. Good job to the host, too
Maybe on the flip side...things that seem so “obvious” to women, you might need spelled out. Just goes to show that our way of seeing the world isn’t “the” way. We can learn plenty from one another.
What I hear Allison saying is that men want to be with women that are happy...that they want to take credit for her happiness...as well as have the ability to make Her happy themselves. If she is hurting she needs to heal herself bcuz her unhappiness makes him unhappy... I get that Ultimately happiness is an Inside job but a man can either bring a woman up or bring her down. Does he expect her to be happy when she's sad or is he man enough to support her need for space to restore her equilibrium? Some men want women to make THEM happy ...some men steal a woman's happiness In order to feel happy thru osmosis, lol. Happiness is contagious...I want to be with a man who lets me be happy, who supports my happiness not squelches it. I want to be with a happy man so we can be happy together. A happy heart, a happy mind, a happy life.
I'm crying... because all that was exactly what happened...he made my dreams come true...now he told me we have to be separated...long story...I'm still learning.
Tell him about what youre learning feom alison and that youll be a completely different person if hell take you back. Jm2c... and im a guy whos dated and dumped countless women who made all these typical mistakes...
Thank you.. wow.. I am emasculating my partner and this all is happening.. because I am scared that he can’t provide for me and take care of me how I feel I need. I am sabotaging the relationship.
Michelle Marchant Johnson .... I watched all of this video and if this could be taught in school America would be a better country. I felt like I was imposing since this was a girl conversion but I listen anyway because it was interesting. If I could have known just what Alison said here when I was 19 it may have saved my first two wives and I a lot of pain. Growing up I was taught all the negative about boys. It was a shame that my long eyelashes were wasted on me because I was a boy. I believed it was true. That was only one small thing I was taught. All women are not so heartless as those in my family. I been married now to wife #3 for 27 years. We have had our arguments ( many ) but she has never made me feel like a unwanted dog or trash that should be put out of the house. If I demanded hours of attention it would drain my wife and I would become overbearing, possibly abusive, I know me. Attention only for a moment when needed assures me that she cares about my inter person ,, she is the woman who loves me.
Wow! Dwain! Thank you for sharing your story! Life and learning about love is a journey. May the rest of your journey be blessed is my prayer. Take good care!
There's a comment here where women want to hear. What's going on in the minds of men. Watching allison speak and be interviewed multiple times. I've learned that women want to know what a man is thinking, as long as she can hear it from someone who isn't a man.
If women want children while they are active enough to raise children, meaning not send them to daycare while she works full time then being young is a huge factor. I don’t regret have my first daughter at 22 and know at 61 I have 3 granddaughters 14, 12 & 1 year old which I am still actively involved with takes my “little” girls to school 1 day a week. No regrets on my part having a family early in my life.
The health of the heterosexual relationship is the metric for the health of the community and society. As an anti feminist, I am very aware of the corrosiveness Feminism has on these relationships. These two women are alkiline in this respect, so yeah, basically plop plop fizz fizz, Alison and Michelle are the alki seltzer of acid relationship reflux. Ahh, what a relief it is!
The guy that says he wants to be with me doesn't seem to be the one to make the time for me! He's not that busy and seems to put hunting and football ahead of me. What to do about that
Shouldn't actions have to align with words before deciding to take someone seriously about a relationship? If someone states that they want to be with me then that's what they should actually be doing or trying to do. Making dates, making future plans for dates, asking you where you'd like to spend time and then following through? In my younger days I was a real "pie-in-the-sky" kind of planner, but I had weak follow through. Last thing I want is a relationship with a woman who's likely to forget a child in the backseat on a trip to the department store. Follow through is key.
When a man is just getting to know you it is important that he spends time listening to you rather than talking all about himself. Otherwise, he bonds more with himself and you can become a friend, rather than a romantic partner. Once you are further into a relationship and want to know a man better then it can be important to take the time to really listen to understand and allow the time and space for him to express himself. I hope that helps! Thanks for watching too Jenny!
Be very aware of attachment styles too. A dismissive avoidant person is triggered by attention. Know your attachment style, heal your core wounds and you’re more likely to attract people who respond well and are more emotionally available.
A woman was once willing to "hold space" for me making herself Emotionally available. I, as the man needed to grow in terms of my ability to "hold space" or become Emotionally available for her. The difference, as I have come to understand it was something called "felt security" which in a much healthier family of origin home I would have received in toddlerhood. But, no one lives in an ideal world.
Unfortunately, the reason some women do it...is because so many men accuse women of trying to be “taken care of” or being potential gold diggers. The women I know that share that stuff, are pretty much trying to clear that worry for a guy...and that they like the guy for him, not his job or $$. I guess it backfires. Seems you can’t win either way you go!
@@Alphacentauri819 Guys.women maybe used to parents and being taken care of it seems and want both to contribute to the team effort of a relationship. Guys may not marry if they think the woman will take 1/2 of their money in divorce for the rest of their lives. Some women are narcissists and want to be taken care of by the guy which uses the guy. Guys compete and don't want a women they can compete with which is masculine acting. Just find a guy who is your equal and you can thrive/be yourself/grow/change etc..
@@Shasha8674 but why compete with a person who you want on your team? That competition with a partner bit seems like it’ll drive conflict. As for me, my child’s dad cheated on me when I was pregnant. I ended things. I never took him to court. I did suggest he pay something monthly, but he chose the amount. He paid $110/month to start. He never paid above $350/month. I also let him pick how much he wanted to see her. Turned out it wasn’t a lot. When my child was a baby, I put myself through college, worked part time and was a single mom. Thank god for my parents and his parents, as they did help with childcare, during some hours that regular childcare wasn’t available. I worked xtra so that kiddo could do sports. I volunteered. I arranged all the xtra dr appointments for extra health issues. And on and on. I did the cleaning and cooking, and showing up in every realm I could. I was trying to be mom and dad to this kid. I guess when I hear how some men think ALL women are trying to take them to the cleaners it’s hard. I took the high road. I could’ve gotten way more $$, more breaks etc. But I tried to keep an open road for a relationship for my child to have with their dad...he just screwed it up, all on his own. I did nothing to stand in the way, at least that i know. I have other friends who ended up having to give their hard earned house to their partner, pay child support...and this was after they supported their spouse through college & paid for more than 1/2 of everything... and got screwed. So, it’s not a one-size-fits all that women are villains, out to take advantage of men. Out of 3.5 billion people, many of us are individuals, with incredibly different stories and outlooks. Also, I’ve been pursued by rich men. Millionaire rich. New Lamborghini rich. Multiple companies. A cabin bigger than my 2300 sq ft house rich...beyond the multiple houses they already own. I’m not interested. At all. He lacks what I most value. Emotional intelligence. So, us women don’t always want what’s in the collective narrative. Some of us would’ve loved a partnership, someone who we could depend on and feel like it was a team, a safe haven. However, the reality isn’t that sometimes. We can be hardened and wary.
@@Alphacentauri819 You were a hard worker, but some people are lazy. Both people need to work hard in a relationship and be compatible/can be yourself/both feel loved and respected/honored etc. People may have a false idea of relationships from movies/own family etc. Many will not try again in a relationship due to past relationships that didn't work and it hurt them too much and burned out their adrenals too much. People want real love, but many get in fake relationships/wear a mask/hide who they are etc.. I know many who will stay alone for the rest of their life it seems. Glad you made your life work well for you and your child. God bless!
Most men are NOT complicated: Be someone they are physically attracted to. Be a lover not a fighter. Be a giver not a taker. And be a good cook. If you can do this then there's good chance you can make a man happy.
Appreciation in a marriage is huge! I know that my late husband always appreciated when I appreciated him…. even in the small things that he did for me. I look back and realize how very lucky I was. Also, women have a tendency to complain, and I feel complaining has a lot to do with the delivery and the tone of your voice. When it’s delivered in a condescending manner that makes them feel defeated it’s never productive. If anything, it causes them to withdraw. It’s very damaging to men. Whenever I had a concern. I like to use the word concern because it’s a softer word lol I would go to him and present it in a pleasant tone voice, and I would always end the conversation on a positive note, so I wouldn’t leave him in a defeated state. A good rule of thumb that my late husband and I used to use is that it was not me and him against one another. It was me and him against the problem.
I'm binging on Alison's content. wow it is so refreshing as a man and actually helps me understand myself more and validates what I experience with women. I believe this is good for men to listen to because then we can be more clear on what kind of woman to give our energy to. Hearing a woman describe a man's motivations who has clearly given the time and attention to men to deeply understand is like food for the soul. Thank you for this!
I love the beautiful soft feminine way that Alison Armstrong explains male/female relationships. Thank you.
Graciously receive, acknowledge & appreciate from a man ~ well said Michelle
Its not about things its about your presence, your time investment, your quality of attention. How you relate to a man, how do you make them feel ?
Its not about over investing, over giving, over expecting
Its about the ebb and flow of giving and receiving what they value not what you value. Their love language may not be yours, I was told I was speaking Chinese, lol.
How men respond to women is how women respond to men ~
This is wonderful! Men and women have got to stop becoming enemies with each other....so sad.
As an older man, my biggest problem with women is with masculine women. It is exhausting to be constantly fighting over who is the man. I have found if you let them dominate you you they will try to destroy you mentally. So either you are fighting over who is the man or you are being emasculated. It is a lose-lose game. The only way to win is to not play that game.
I have found the most effective way to deal with the masculine woman is to know when to fight(over matters of substance like values/principles) and when not to fight(over matters of style like wearing well-coordinated colors) to social events where women tend to be especially sensitive to what other women think or feel.
But, choosing well when you fight or walk away from her is critical.
She has a nice voice! This is the first time I heard her.. this was a great teaching on love.
I'm glad she's shining light on how men actually RESPOND TO US!
WOW. 👏👏👏👏👏 I feel so inspired.
And thank you Ms. Michelle for creating this channel.
#Golden
Thanks for listening
Ladies, as a man, let me tell you Alison Armstrong is right about a lot... not 100% right mind you, but she's the closest I've ever come across to a woman who knows how men actually are and what women need to do to find and keep a man. Mind you, I think there is a lot she is leaving out, especially about men and women who grew up with single mothers, how adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can impact relationship dynamics, how the 'deregulated' sexual market place works, as well as the impact female hypergamy and evolutionary biology plays throughout a relationship. However, you can Google these things as supplimentary material to Alison's work and be miles ahead of the pack. Good luck out there, hope you find a virtuous man and have lifelong love and happiness!
Thanks for watching and for your comment too. Of course, Alison can only share one small piece of her work in a single interview, but she has probably studied men more than any other woman on the planet! Her work is very powerful! Take care.
Very well put. Completely agree.
I really love it and it’s really helpful when thoughtful, articulate men comment on content like this. Thank you for doing this and adding your extra pieces around sexual social status (I had to look up what hypergamy means!) and I liked your word use “deregulated sexual market”!
Very helpful! 🏆
While I agree with the importance of including things like ACE’s, trauma, attachment styles...
The idea of hypergamy and regulation of sex... all that seems like narratives based on some biases, myopia, nostalgic fog and much more.
To attempt to make such profoundly complex dynamics categorized, and more binary...seems to be cognitively lazy, at best.
While, yes, men are more motivated by sex... and women more motivated by safety and security...
there are so, so many influencing factors!
Just as many women struggle to understand men...so do men vastly not understand what women want. Due to this confusion, insecurity, they try to create narratives that are massive generalizations that rarely have much truth.
Just as more men commit rape and violence (also against other men, not just women) that doesn’t mean their qualities fit every man.
There may be some women who are marrying for status or whatever...but that’s much more rare than certain male groups perpetuate.
Same with the hilarious concept that women care about genital size and such... it’s men’s insecurities projected out, insisting those are women’s goals or wishes. When they’re mostly not.
Most women want emotional intelligence. First and foremost.
I do think that as more women realize that’s not happening with men (a study showed that only 35% of men are emotionally intelligent)...it might be part of the drive of more women leaving men for other women. They get the emotional connection they’ve been craving.
@@Alphacentauri819 absolutely spot on about women wanting more emotional intelligence from a man. I recently dated someone and sadly it didn’t go anywhere because he was giving me nothing in terms of driving the connection forward.... I kept having to ask him about his feelings and this most likely de-masculined him as he was following the typical American bro advice of treat them mean, keep them keen by showing avoidance tendencies. On our one and only date he kept diverting the conversation to sex, he kissed me passionately three times throughout the night, all prompted by him, and when we were outside the hotel he suggested sex twice. He knew from our texts in the weeks leading up to the date that I didn’t do one night stands or casual hook ups but he still pressed for it.
A few days later, I had to get into my masculine energy yet again by asking him for feedback on the date. He said it was amazing, I was sweet, easy to be around but something was missing - there was no chemistry or sexual tension or desire to rip each other’s clothes off.
Well duhhhh, I shut him down at every attempt he made for sex so as not to lead him on and think it was going to happen?! What did he expect me to do? Encourage him or go back on my word and make him the exception?!
Pshhh dodged the bullet with that guy let me tell you! 😂
Amazing learned so much!! Thank you!
Alison sounds like a woman who a man would love to please, because she would reward him with appreciation. The sad truth today is that many women feel highly entitled, making it impossible for a her man to gain that reward. Men typically move on - or move out - from such a relationship.
I would agree, I think this has to do with 3rd and 4th wave Feminism in the West. I'd say most Western men, while not labelling themselves as Feminists, would agree with the principles of 1st and 2nd wave Feminism. However, the introduction of intersectionality and superiority of women over men (3rd and 4th wave), as well as the replacement of fathers by the welfare state, has created that entitlement you refer too.
Thanks for watching and for sharing too Jaco!
@@icleave replacement of father’s by the welfare state.....is a sense of entitlement for woman and child? Interesting view.
As a mature man (64 years of age/experience) I don't need "crazy in love".
I need a mentally and emotionally stable woman who has taken ownership of her childhood and other Emotional baggage and is actively working on herself to correct her own internal misperceptions and fears.
Translation: I like peace and quiet and being as cooperative as I can be without the drama of constant fighting for control.
😎😘
Great episode. As a single Mom I can tell you that making that space can be hard but as my daughter is now a teen it’s a little easier. I just think it’s a totally different ball game for single Mothers. I have all but given up in relationships because of the energy that’s required of me to do what I do as sole provider, only parent, etc. I do have a glimmer of hope listening to these podcasts though
Thanks, Gretchen! More coming from Allison.
YES and women with multiple (more than six ) children, because I am constantly reinforcing the do do mode and not enough space in between to rest into my feminine in the time my husband is home. It’s challenging when they are small.. but I love how you are finding the moments as your child is a teen now❤
@@spontaneousjanethe man you gave your womb to wasn’t good enough, what makes you think you will find better?
@@theskyizblue2day431You don't know why they split. Her "better" might look different now than it did before.
I see women emasculating men A LOT. It's almost ingrained in our modern day dating/relationship culture. "I don't need no man" "Men ain't shit" Women putting down men because they think it's funny and it boosts their own confidence/status thinking they are "impressing" the man or other men. Ladies, this sort of behavior is really a terrible thing that pushes men away, finds you weak simping men, or gets you into confrontations with men. Ideally, you want to be respectful and appreciate of the man you are with. That is what will help the relationship and create a powerful masculine-feminine dynamic.
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Dustin!
I think the issue can be reactionary sometimes...
too many women were told that they’re “using” men, or trying to be gold-diggers. Many have gone out of their way to do it on their own and then are shamed for it...feels like they can’t win.
Many had to do it on their own, when a man ditched and left the woman with all the responsibility. Financial, childcare, everything.Those women become hyper-independent and since they were failed by men...they don’t trust that it’ll be ok to depend on a man for anything. They don’t ever want to be vulnerable to that again. It’s hard to do it all and have no one else. Especially when it wasn’t supposed to be that way.
Look to the “why” women became that way...and maybe you’ll realize it wasn’t out to get men, but for survival and self preservation.
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou 🤗 My heart is always so full & light after these 🥰🙏
You are so welcome!
Wow, that’s all so new and enchanting! 🙈🙉❤️❤️❤️
Yes, to much Emasculating going on, your bang on Alison, I wish that eveyone heres this message because, lots of woman portray that they dont need us, so why would we waste our time staying
Women say this because they don't want to be perceived as "needy", which they perceived to be a turnoff to men. Women want to be wanted, men want to be needed.
This was a wonderful conversation... God bless you both. Thank you x
Thank you so much for watching and for leaving a comment too Myrrh!
Good stuff. It’s one of those things that I wouldn’t have thought needed explanation, but that has happened a few times with her stuff. Good job to the host, too
Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too!
Maybe on the flip side...things that seem so “obvious” to women, you might need spelled out.
Just goes to show that our way of seeing the world isn’t “the” way. We can learn plenty from one another.
Is like my conscience is talking to me.
Thank you ma'am for all this information!
This is gold thAnkyou ladies sending this to my daughter x
Thanks for watching and for sharing with your daughter too!
Attention is the currency of relationships.
Without it there can be no relationship.
Incredible chat!! Loved it! Thanks Michelle 💞😁💞
What I hear Allison saying is that men want to be with women that are happy...that they want to take credit for her happiness...as well as have the ability to make Her happy themselves.
If she is hurting she needs to heal herself bcuz her unhappiness makes him unhappy... I get that Ultimately happiness is an Inside job but a man can either bring a woman up or bring her down. Does he expect her to be happy when she's sad or is he man enough to support her need for space to restore her equilibrium?
Some men want women to make THEM happy ...some men steal a woman's happiness In order to feel happy thru osmosis, lol.
Happiness is contagious...I want to be with a man who lets me be happy, who supports my happiness not squelches it. I want to be with a happy man so we can be happy together. A happy heart, a happy mind, a happy life.
Life changing ♥️
Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too!
Wow
Just be happy!
Thanks for watching! Yes, being happy is a big part of it!
I'm crying... because all that was exactly what happened...he made my dreams come true...now he told me we have to be separated...long story...I'm still learning.
Thanks for watching Miriam! I hope things work out well for you. Take care!
Tell him about what youre learning feom alison and that youll be a completely different person if hell take you back.
Jm2c... and im a guy whos dated and dumped countless women who made all these typical mistakes...
@@SocraticMethodGuyUrgh….no begging.
Thank you.. wow.. I am emasculating my partner and this all is happening.. because I am scared that he can’t provide for me and take care of me how I feel I need. I am sabotaging the relationship.
Michelle Marchant Johnson .... I watched all of this video and if this could be taught in school America would be a better country. I felt like I was imposing since this was a girl conversion but I listen anyway because it was interesting. If I could have known just what Alison said here when I was 19 it may have saved my first two wives and I a lot of pain. Growing up I was taught all the negative about boys. It was a shame that my long eyelashes were wasted on me because I was a boy. I believed it was true. That was only one small thing I was taught. All women are not so heartless as those in my family. I been married now to wife #3 for 27 years. We have had our arguments ( many ) but she has never made me feel like a unwanted dog or trash that should be put out of the house. If I demanded hours of attention it would drain my wife and I would become overbearing, possibly abusive, I know me. Attention only for a moment when needed assures me that she cares about my inter person ,, she is the woman who loves me.
Wow! Dwain! Thank you for sharing your story! Life and learning about love is a journey. May the rest of your journey be blessed is my prayer. Take good care!
Amazing!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜
PRICELESS
Thanks for watching Bella! Glad you enjoyed it!
Love this.. also I've found The Sedona Method to be absolutely effective immediately
Thank you for watching. I'm glad you found it valuable!
Do you need building up or do you need "taming of your ego over issues of both substance and style"?
Excellent interview and information.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching Marissa!
There's a comment here where women want to hear. What's going on in the minds of men.
Watching allison speak and be interviewed multiple times.
I've learned that women want to know what a man is thinking, as long as she can hear it from someone who isn't a man.
Allison is one of the few who wants to hear it directly from the men.
Yeah that figures. Men often hear things more from other men.
If women want children while they are active enough to raise children, meaning not send them to daycare while she works full time then being young is a huge factor. I don’t regret have my first daughter at 22 and know at 61 I have 3 granddaughters 14, 12 & 1 year old which I am still actively involved with takes my “little” girls to school 1 day a week. No regrets on my part having a family early in my life.
The health of the heterosexual relationship is the metric for the health of the community and society. As an anti feminist, I am very aware of the corrosiveness Feminism has on these relationships. These two women are alkiline in this respect, so yeah, basically plop plop fizz fizz, Alison and Michelle are the alki seltzer of acid relationship reflux. Ahh, what a relief it is!
The guy that says he wants to be with me doesn't seem to be the one to make the time for me! He's not that busy and seems to put hunting and football ahead of me. What to do about that
Shouldn't actions have to align with words before deciding to take someone seriously about a relationship?
If someone states that they want to be with me then that's what they should actually be doing or trying to do.
Making dates, making future plans for dates, asking you where you'd like to spend time and then following through?
In my younger days I was a real "pie-in-the-sky" kind of planner, but I had weak follow through.
Last thing I want is a relationship with a woman who's likely to forget a child in the backseat on a trip to the department store.
Follow through is key.
What if you’re there and giving the attention but he’s not responding to my attention?
When a man is just getting to know you it is important that he spends time listening to you rather than talking all about himself. Otherwise, he bonds more with himself and you can become a friend, rather than a romantic partner. Once you are further into a relationship and want to know a man better then it can be important to take the time to really listen to understand and allow the time and space for him to express himself. I hope that helps! Thanks for watching too Jenny!
Be very aware of attachment styles too. A dismissive avoidant person is triggered by attention.
Know your attachment style, heal your core wounds and you’re more likely to attract people who respond well and are more emotionally available.
When we talk about men here ,does age count ? Do 20s guy count ?
A woman was once willing to "hold space" for me making herself Emotionally available.
I, as the man needed to grow in terms of my ability to "hold space" or become Emotionally available for her.
The difference, as I have come to understand it was something called "felt security" which in a much healthier family of origin home I would have received in toddlerhood.
But, no one lives in an ideal world.
Boasting about career would turn off a guy. They try to compete.
That's right Shasha! Thanks for watching!
Unfortunately, the reason some women do it...is because so many men accuse women of trying to be “taken care of” or being potential gold diggers.
The women I know that share that stuff, are pretty much trying to clear that worry for a guy...and that they like the guy for him, not his job or $$.
I guess it backfires.
Seems you can’t win either way you go!
@@Alphacentauri819 Guys.women maybe used to parents and being taken care of it seems and want both to contribute to the team effort of a relationship. Guys may not marry if they think the woman will take 1/2 of their money in divorce for the rest of their lives. Some women are narcissists and want to be taken care of by the guy which uses the guy. Guys compete and don't want a women they can compete with which is masculine acting. Just find a guy who is your equal and you can thrive/be yourself/grow/change etc..
@@Shasha8674 but why compete with a person who you want on your team?
That competition with a partner bit seems like it’ll drive conflict.
As for me, my child’s dad cheated on me when I was pregnant. I ended things.
I never took him to court. I did suggest he pay something monthly, but he chose the amount. He paid $110/month to start. He never paid above $350/month. I also let him pick how much he wanted to see her. Turned out it wasn’t a lot.
When my child was a baby, I put myself through college, worked part time and was a single mom.
Thank god for my parents and his parents, as they did help with childcare, during some hours that regular childcare wasn’t available.
I worked xtra so that kiddo could do sports. I volunteered. I arranged all the xtra dr appointments for extra health issues. And on and on.
I did the cleaning and cooking, and showing up in every realm I could. I was trying to be mom and dad to this kid.
I guess when I hear how some men think
ALL women are trying to take them to the cleaners it’s hard. I took the high road. I could’ve gotten way more $$, more breaks etc. But I tried to keep an open road for a relationship for my child to have with their dad...he just screwed it up, all on his own. I did nothing to stand in the way, at least that i know.
I have other friends who ended up having to give their hard earned house to their partner, pay child support...and this was after they supported their spouse through college & paid for more than 1/2 of everything... and got screwed.
So, it’s not a one-size-fits all that women are villains, out to take advantage of men. Out of 3.5 billion people, many of us are individuals, with incredibly different stories and outlooks.
Also, I’ve been pursued by rich men. Millionaire rich. New Lamborghini rich. Multiple companies. A cabin bigger than my 2300 sq ft house rich...beyond the multiple houses they already own.
I’m not interested. At all.
He lacks what I most value. Emotional intelligence.
So, us women don’t always want what’s in the collective narrative.
Some of us would’ve loved a partnership, someone who we could depend on and feel like it was a team, a safe haven. However, the reality isn’t that sometimes. We can be hardened and wary.
@@Alphacentauri819 You were a hard worker, but some people are lazy. Both people need to work hard in a relationship and be compatible/can be yourself/both feel loved and respected/honored etc. People may have a false idea of relationships from movies/own family etc. Many will not try again in a relationship due to past relationships that didn't work and it hurt them too much and burned out their adrenals too much. People want real love, but many get in fake relationships/wear a mask/hide who they are etc.. I know many who will stay alone for the rest of their life it seems. Glad you made your life work well for you and your child. God bless!
😄😃😄😃😄😃😄😃😄
Most men are NOT complicated: Be someone they are physically attracted to. Be a lover not a fighter. Be a giver not a taker. And be a good cook. If you can do this then there's good chance you can make a man happy.
Thank you so much for this invaluable interview!