As a woman before, out of compassion because that gives me the chance to inshaAllah really do some personal work and acceptance. However, as a single person who could be an "incoming" I would also rather marry a man who would tell his current wife first, as that would naturally have me respect him even more.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi that could be true in the United States, but it also could be not true because I knew that I wanted to be a polygamist before I got married, but I had never known any other polygamist. I just knew that I did not want to be in a marriage by myself.
Geography has nothing to do with it, but there are a few who already have the disposition and know in advance, usually based on previous experience or cultural experience. For people who have not been involved in relationships, I've found that they're unlikely to know due to that lack of experience.
My husband told me after a month of marriage that he wants to take on another wife. I felt hurt and betrayed because we spoke prior to marriage that I don’t want to be in that situation. He agreed before marriage that he won’t practice polygyny unless I gain weight. I lost 13 pounds while married to him. I felt lied to. He claims that there is nothing wrong in our marriage and that’s what he wants. He said the reason he didn’t tell me is because he wanted me. The reason I felt betrayed is because he is my first husband and first experience with a man. I trusted him and it felt like he stole from me. I’ve threatened divorce if he marries again.
That sounds deceitful and if you already agreed prior to marriage and it's in your nikah contract, you have the right to dissolve the marriage. Hopefully, you have a good Wali.
This thing where women threaten men and act out of bounds emotionally, was called out on, when I brought up the issue of polygny, as well as other things, with a 42 yr old woman. She said she felt free to act that way because she believed men had no real emotions, we just acted like we did. She seemed like she was very serious, and surprised when I told her we actually did have feelings that mattered, smh. So when we speak of polygny, they’re feeling that we’re somehow offending them and insulting their sense of being unique and special. They feel when they get a man, he’s her OWN special “Teddy Bear” 🐻 to hold, we all know that nobody else got to sleep with our Teddy bears 🧸 when we were kids. 🤦♂️
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi “Sadly” is true; and no matter how you try to “come to terms”, “meet them where they are”, or try to help them “see from this perspective”. Though one lady, deeply enamored while talking via phone late at night, suddenly “got it” 💡 and seemed to awaken and mature in an instant Eureka! moment, only to completely change again, in a rabidly stubborn way, 2 days later; just as I cheered her on and thought we were “movin’ on up”… 🤦♂️🤷♂️ Still puzzled to this day what on earth happened…but men can’t be mind readers…😔
Definitely afterwards. Most women do not have the emotional maturity to handle this particular difficult discussion without becoming irrational. If you discuss it beforehand, she will enter "self-destruct" mode and will try to take the whole family down with her. I'm speaking from experience.
If a woman's feeling are less important in a marriage than a man's, how do you suggest she deal with that fact in terms of being a good wife? She might find it hard to respect her husband, if she is of less value than he is? I mean the Prophet said in his last sermon to treat women well and with kindness, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives? I am very confused.
Note how it says best to your 'wives'? Furthermore, consider that a man's feelings regarding polygyny expands the family while the women's feelings will restrict it. So in reality, women's feelings regarding polygyny harm other women which goes against his warning regarding women.
@@LanLe-rz4lm 😂😂 nope I just let her say what she thought actually meant something to me and let her know we’re going to come back to it. I remember a few weeks back in video with coach Nazir, he said not to have these types of discussions at certain times through the month. And I know both of my ladies cycles😭 sometime even before they think of it. So I’m moving forward with it when the hormones are a bit more in balance.
If a man has open conversation about his intention it shows he still loves her and wants to take care of her to the best of his abilities. Should wife says she will leave then marry 2nd wife and see if she will leave. If she leaves try to mend marriage. If not working out then set her free. 2nd wife should know you going to marry again and thus time it's easier. I keep saying that if you want to be only wife out of a possible 4 then then give 4 times the pleasure and sweetness and everything else. Problem solved 🎉🎉
Before Or After , my preference is after. Because before a comment can disheartening your building. Do it after but definitely have those conversations introduced as early as possible.
Info is below: coachnazir.com or outstandingpersonalrelationships.com/coachnazir or email me at support@outstandingpersonalrelationships.com Be sure to take the Men's Polygamy Readiness Assesement at OutstandingPersonalRelationships.com
SubhanAllah! السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته Both ways are fine, it all depends on the individual and how they can handle certain situations! الله أعلم May الله make it easy, however which way it goes by HIS mercy! 🤲🏽 اللهم آمين 🧕🧔🏽♂️🧕
He wants another wife because you are just an object to him. He doesn't actually like you. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated you. Don't walk run away from men like this!
I would like to have the conversation before my husband takes on another wife.
Yes you’re right. Coach Nazeer does recommend that this is the better approach
As a woman before, out of compassion because that gives me the chance to inshaAllah really do some personal work and acceptance. However, as a single person who could be an "incoming" I would also rather marry a man who would tell his current wife first, as that would naturally have me respect him even more.
I agree with everything! I think a husband should inform his first wife before they even get married so that the expectation is there
If he knows he plans to do it. Many have no idea what marriage is like so are clueless until after they've gotten married and established.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi that could be true in the United States, but it also could be not true because I knew that I wanted to be a polygamist before I got married, but I had never known any other polygamist. I just knew that I did not want to be in a marriage by myself.
Geography has nothing to do with it, but there are a few who already have the disposition and know in advance, usually based on previous experience or cultural experience.
For people who have not been involved in relationships, I've found that they're unlikely to know due to that lack of experience.
@@polylife101 yessssss!!! This is what I’m trying to get straight now, because I want to marry my lady in the next few months.
My husband told me after a month of marriage that he wants to take on another wife. I felt hurt and betrayed because we spoke prior to marriage that I don’t want to be in that situation. He agreed before marriage that he won’t practice polygyny unless I gain weight. I lost 13 pounds while married to him. I felt lied to. He claims that there is nothing wrong in our marriage and that’s what he wants. He said the reason he didn’t tell me is because he wanted me.
The reason I felt betrayed is because he is my first husband and first experience with a man. I trusted him and it felt like he stole from me.
I’ve threatened divorce if he marries again.
That sounds deceitful and if you already agreed prior to marriage and it's in your nikah contract, you have the right to dissolve the marriage. Hopefully, you have a good Wali.
This thing where women threaten men and act out of bounds emotionally, was called out on, when I brought up the issue of polygny, as well as other things, with a 42 yr old woman.
She said she felt free to act that way because she believed men had no real emotions, we just acted like we did. She seemed like she was very serious, and surprised when I told her we actually did have feelings that mattered, smh.
So when we speak of polygny, they’re feeling that we’re somehow offending them and insulting their sense of being unique and special. They feel when they get a man, he’s her OWN special “Teddy Bear” 🐻 to hold, we all know that nobody else got to sleep with our Teddy bears 🧸 when we were kids. 🤦♂️
As sad as it is, many people's emotional maturity is that of elementary school children.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi “Sadly” is true; and no matter how you try to “come to terms”, “meet them where they are”, or try to help them “see from this perspective”.
Though one lady, deeply enamored while talking via phone late at night, suddenly “got it” 💡 and seemed to awaken and mature in an instant Eureka! moment, only to completely change again, in a rabidly stubborn way, 2 days later; just as I cheered her on and thought we were “movin’ on up”… 🤦♂️🤷♂️
Still puzzled to this day what on earth happened…but men can’t be mind readers…😔
Definitely afterwards. Most women do not have the emotional maturity to handle this particular difficult discussion without becoming irrational. If you discuss it beforehand, she will enter "self-destruct" mode and will try to take the whole family down with her. I'm speaking from experience.
If a woman's feeling are less important in a marriage than a man's, how do you suggest she deal with that fact in terms of being a good wife? She might find it hard to respect her husband, if she is of less value than he is? I mean the Prophet said in his last sermon to treat women well and with kindness, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives? I am very confused.
Note how it says best to your 'wives'?
Furthermore, consider that a man's feelings regarding polygyny expands the family while the women's feelings will restrict it.
So in reality, women's feelings regarding polygyny harm other women which goes against his warning regarding women.
I think you're correct. It's really difficult in this system. I say after, that might just be because of my situation.
Before so I can get prepared to leave.
Before.
The conversation ended up coming up randomly the other day. She went straight to “let me know, because I’m leaving.”
Yeah, and saying “I thought you were all into tolerance and rights” doesn’t help. 😂
Yeah, the emotional manipulate tactics start rather quickly in some women unfortunately.
@@LanLe-rz4lm 😂😂 nope I just let her say what she thought actually meant something to me and let her know we’re going to come back to it.
I remember a few weeks back in video with coach Nazir, he said not to have these types of discussions at certain times through the month. And I know both of my ladies cycles😭 sometime even before they think of it. So I’m moving forward with it when the hormones are a bit more in balance.
@@DrewARoc SMART!!! That’s one video I missed! I’ll look for that one!
I learned that woman are selfish
Alhamdullilah very informative video (before )
Before 👍
If a man has open conversation about his intention it shows he still loves her and wants to take care of her to the best of his abilities.
Should wife says she will leave then marry 2nd wife and see if she will leave. If she leaves try to mend marriage. If not working out then set her free. 2nd wife should know you going to marry again and thus time it's easier.
I keep saying that if you want to be only wife out of a possible 4 then then give 4 times the pleasure and sweetness and everything else. Problem solved 🎉🎉
Before
Before or after.
Diversification talks from day 1
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Wa alaykum asalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Before Or After , my preference is after. Because before a comment can disheartening your building. Do it after but definitely have those conversations introduced as early as possible.
After… you’ve proven it works after.
How do I get ahold of you for a one on one conversation?
Info is below:
coachnazir.com or outstandingpersonalrelationships.com/coachnazir or email me at support@outstandingpersonalrelationships.com
Be sure to take the Men's Polygamy Readiness Assesement at OutstandingPersonalRelationships.com
SubhanAllah! السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته Both ways are fine, it all depends on the individual and how they can handle certain situations! الله أعلم May الله make it easy, however which way it goes by HIS mercy! 🤲🏽 اللهم آمين 🧕🧔🏽♂️🧕
He wants another wife because you are just an object to him. He doesn't actually like you. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated you. Don't walk run away from men like this!
Wa Alaikum as salaam