Yeah, future faking messes with you so much and it's cruel, it makes you stay in love with the potential future and not what you have right in front of you. Despicable.
he went from ”you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”, to planning our entire future together to suddenly - when it got real - he ended it by saying i’m too sure of him and that i deserve better. i’ve never had so much anxiety before, crying rivers still even though we haven’t talked in four months. i can’t seem to get over him, i’m really going through a crisis. this is the worse thing one can ever do to someone.
Same here. She brokeup and left me crying on the call that day. I was emotionally crushed and felt like I fell from an aeroplane. Sleepless, fatigue, lost weight, low apetite and what not. She is unbothered. All my hope, my future planning everything was a joke.
@@caleblangfird212 you’re correct about the insult. it triggers such feelings of shame, guilt and anguish. it’s even worse when you’ve been vulnerable enough to tell him your weaknesses and what hurts you and he does exactly that.
Makes you ask yourself "was everything a lie? Was there even a single moment where she had honest, true feelings about you?" Helped her through her divorce for 6 months. She used to say these amazing things and plan our happy future ahead and i used to think i was the luckiest man on earth. A month after the divorce, just when i thought that i could maybe have some happiness in my life, she said she is not ready for a relationship and cannot give me what i want. Why did she have to make up such beautiful stories and really form a connection, if she was going to discard like i meant nothing. Living through each day is such a pain. If only people would say what they really mean. Being used for your emotional availibility is the worst feeling ever
Every day we used to talk about how the future will look like for us. Her promises were so warm that kept me mad at her. At the end, I ended up loosing my sleep. Almost all the time, I get so anxious bcoz I was working so hard for our future. Got a decent job, savings too. Where M I? Future faking is really such a bad sign of someone who is emotional unaware of its consequences. It has impacted my daily life to a great extent. I lost 5 pounds in 1 month. Dont feel like I am leading a normal life. Its not easy to comeout of this trauma. She ignored me and was very rude when I tried to connect. I dont think she has any regret of treating me like a toy. 😔💔
Not my first time being discarded, but the lesson learnt from him is that I will NEVER trust words anymore. You want a future with me? Hell, work your ass to prove it to me, I don't care if you see me as rude. I just won't fall into these gimmicks now.
She literally said “I really tough we were going to get married” after discarding me and needing space, just like blaming it on me.. when i just wanted to talk to resolve things.. wow
Spot on. All your videos describe very accurately the avoidant attacher behaviour. Do they ever feel any pain for any loss? It may seem a malicious question, but it's not. It's genuine curiosity. My FA ex-husband has been so cold and cruel: gaslighting, blaming, distorting reality... He is not a narcissist but he has some narcissistic traits. Thanks from Spain!
Although this is very applicable to friendships I was wondering if there are some videos on that as well. It is very confusing even with Avoidant friends. If you encourage them and point out their great qualities they become afraid. If you challenge them because of their bad behavior they become afraid. So what are you supposed to say and do that won't trigger their ghosting and avoiding?
😂😂 I like couch Ryan when he speaks its he knows my ex 😂 my ex took me to the shop to buy me engaged ring after he proposed lol it was a roller-coaster 😂. Which he never did
Wish I had the super power of her? 8 years together … then poof the DA ghosted me like I was absolutely nothing ! Space ghost super powers … must be nice .. yes I’m being sarcastic
Man this was the hardest thing , after six month of telling me she wanted to marry me . She discarded me and then came back .... She future faked me again to gain me back told me that i was the one she wqnted for father of her kids that she would marry me and one week later she discarded me again...
Future Faking is a well-known narcissist trait, not an avoidant trait. It's true that DA's and covert narcissists share a lot of similarities, but future-faking isn't one of them.
Yeah I might have to recant on this one. I'm now remembering a bit of future faking with my ex DA. But nowhere near the level of my ex covert narcissist.
What makes it so traumatic is that you were taking steps and making gestures (sacrifices) because you thought you had a relationship.
Yeah, future faking messes with you so much and it's cruel, it makes you stay in love with the potential future and not what you have right in front of you. Despicable.
he went from ”you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”, to planning our entire future together to suddenly - when it got real - he ended it by saying i’m too sure of him and that i deserve better. i’ve never had so much anxiety before, crying rivers still even though we haven’t talked in four months. i can’t seem to get over him, i’m really going through a crisis. this is the worse thing one can ever do to someone.
Same here. She brokeup and left me crying on the call that day. I was emotionally crushed and felt like I fell from an aeroplane. Sleepless, fatigue, lost weight, low apetite and what not. She is unbothered. All my hope, my future planning everything was a joke.
It's a rough and lonely process, not to mention it's added insult to injury that it's the one person you thought wouldn't hurt you like that too
@@caleblangfird212 you’re correct about the insult. it triggers such feelings of shame, guilt and anguish. it’s even worse when you’ve been vulnerable enough to tell him your weaknesses and what hurts you and he does exactly that.
Makes you ask yourself "was everything a lie? Was there even a single moment where she had honest, true feelings about you?" Helped her through her divorce for 6 months. She used to say these amazing things and plan our happy future ahead and i used to think i was the luckiest man on earth. A month after the divorce, just when i thought that i could maybe have some happiness in my life, she said she is not ready for a relationship and cannot give me what i want.
Why did she have to make up such beautiful stories and really form a connection, if she was going to discard like i meant nothing. Living through each day is such a pain. If only people would say what they really mean. Being used for your emotional availibility is the worst feeling ever
@@shapetable9642 I know it’s such a mindfk. Completely illogical. Sorry you’re going through that. Stay strong, it will get better 🙏🏼
The devaluation is the worst part. When all you've been is patient and kind. Some truly nasty things said.
Every day we used to talk about how the future will look like for us. Her promises were so warm that kept me mad at her. At the end, I ended up loosing my sleep. Almost all the time, I get so anxious bcoz I was working so hard for our future. Got a decent job, savings too. Where M I? Future faking is really such a bad sign of someone who is emotional unaware of its consequences. It has impacted my daily life to a great extent. I lost 5 pounds in 1 month. Dont feel like I am leading a normal life. Its not easy to comeout of this trauma. She ignored me and was very rude when I tried to connect. I dont think she has any regret of treating me like a toy. 😔💔
Don"t worry you still have a chance for a healthy loving equal give and take marriage! SHES A LOOSER FOR LIFE!
Not my first time being discarded, but the lesson learnt from him is that I will NEVER trust words anymore.
You want a future with me? Hell, work your ass to prove it to me, I don't care if you see me as rude. I just won't fall into these gimmicks now.
Actions are a language -- words are cheap.
She literally said “I really tough we were going to get married” after discarding me and needing space, just like blaming it on me.. when i just wanted to talk to resolve things.. wow
Spot on. All your videos describe very accurately the avoidant attacher behaviour. Do they ever feel any pain for any loss? It may seem a malicious question, but it's not. It's genuine curiosity. My FA ex-husband has been so cold and cruel: gaslighting, blaming, distorting reality... He is not a narcissist but he has some narcissistic traits. Thanks from Spain!
They do for sure and they always come back.
Its weird how they all say similar things...
He future faked himself. He believed his own BS. 😢
You're swindling someone who loves you with your eyes wide open.
All of this.
Although this is very applicable to friendships I was wondering if there are some videos on that as well. It is very confusing even with Avoidant friends. If you encourage them and point out their great qualities they become afraid. If you challenge them because of their bad behavior they become afraid. So what are you supposed to say and do that won't trigger their ghosting and avoiding?
This is a narcissist, not just someone with legit attachment challenges
😂😂 I like couch Ryan when he speaks its he knows my ex 😂 my ex took me to the shop to buy me engaged ring after he proposed lol it was a roller-coaster 😂. Which he never did
So he actually bought the ring?
Wish I had the super power of her? 8 years together … then poof the DA ghosted me like I was absolutely nothing !
Space ghost super powers … must be nice .. yes I’m being sarcastic
Man this was the hardest thing , after six month of telling me she wanted to marry me . She discarded me and then came back .... She future faked me again to gain me back told me that i was the one she wqnted for father of her kids that she would marry me and one week later she discarded me again...
Yep blamed me too when I asked him why he said all those things about our future, he said “that was my Hail Mary” .. whatever that means
Dismissive avoidant - covert NPD
Future Faking is a well-known narcissist trait, not an avoidant trait. It's true that DA's and covert narcissists share a lot of similarities, but future-faking isn't one of them.
My avoidant did future faking at the beginning
They do it too. Mine said all the things he knew I wanted to hear.
Yeah I might have to recant on this one. I'm now remembering a bit of future faking with my ex DA. But nowhere near the level of my ex covert narcissist.
He did that 😢😢😢
Discarded me 😢
😢😢😢