That's so interesting that you became even more pro life, I feel like with my pregnancy, I became even more pro choice. Your body goes thru so much change and your physical, mental and emotional state goes thru so much that I wouldn't want to force someone to go thru this if they truly don't want to.
100%. Knowing how hard it is, if someone is unable to give that child what is necessary mentally, physically, or emotionally, they should not be forced into it. Not to mention financially have the luxury to be with baby all the time. It's also unfair to have to carry that child and give up the child. I don't understand how someone can have a baby and become more pro-life.
I agree with Nikki. I just had my first baby and can’t imagine aborting a baby that has a heartbeat so early and doesn’t have a voice to speak up for their life. I feel people have the choice when they have sex and know there is an outcome of pregnancy (obviously there are different scenarios - There are of course circumstances that I feel different about) Everyone has a different view. The thought of killing an innocent baby personally makes me uncomfortable 🤷🏻♀️
I'm so glad you mentioned not being in control. Even though my kids are grown, they're still at home. I still worry about them. I just have to put them in God's hands. Especially, in todays circumstances.
I back up nanny mostly older children. The “selfish” thing I could do is do everything for children because it’s easier and takes less time. But in reality kids need to learn how to do things for themselves.
We all need to support access to universal free/affordable birth control to try to PREVENT abortions. Abortion rates are actually higher in countries where it is illegal. As a doctor, I've seen several women get pregnant because they didn't have access to birth control. Obviously, best case scenario is to prevent undesired pregnancies with the use of birth control. But what if a woman gets pregnant and she does not desire a pregnancy... 1) get illegal medications to have an abortion at home, still not get birth control, then get pregnant again 2) have a safe termination & get birth control like an IUD that lasts 10 years to prevent another pregnancy My opinion may be less popular & more conservative, but I AM pro-life. As much as it breaks my heart to even think about abortion, I am in favor of legal abortion services to prevent MORE abortions from happening. You may think this is an oxymoron, but I hope you understand my message. It took me years to process my stance & I hope you can at least respect it.
Thank you so much for this! I wish you had talked about the fear of disappointing Logan because I definitely relate to that. My baby girl is 3 months now & I watched all of your videos while I was pregnant and during my postpartum journey. Mentally, I struggled after birth, especially because my birth was traumatic & seeing the everyone else’s highlight real of motherhood has made me feel isolated. Breastfeeding has also had my hormones very wonky! I really needed this video 😭 To know that you also have some parts you struggle with, but that you can still love motherhood simultaneously! Thank you for sharing, EVERYTHING, for the pep talk at the end, and for just being you. Thank you, also, for bringing it back to God. What you said about birth really touched my heart. I love you, mama ❤️ Wish I could just give you a giant hug!
I remember the crying with my first babies (our first were twins 😅), whenever they cried it gave me such a physical reaction of anxiety and it upset me SO much! Motherhood is the craziest trip of LIFE man, to me it’s such a challenge but it’s all wrapped up in magic, if that makes sense 😂
This type of video NEEDS to be common!! We all have things we dont like about being a parent and it needs to be talked about. Thanks for sharing, Nikki!!🧡
Ok here is my 2 cents. Having 2 older teen boys. I always felt that some mom's don't paint the true picture of raising kids. When I had my 1st son, I was overwhelmed and felt I had no clue on how hard it was going to be and 1st time mom's don't tell you the truth. Same goes for teens and you worry if your child is on the right path especially raising adult children. When I hear one of my relatives say something happened to one of their kids that you find out about later it makes you feel better that you are not the only parent going through certain situations. So for me it helps when I hear other parents going through the same thing. Parenting is hard as a baby all the way through adulthood. Mom of 18 and 16 year old going nutty lol
I had to stop watching some channels because I realized they complained a lot. Pregnant with my first and negativity is not for me ❤️☺️ Love your sunshine and positivity! We need more of it in the world. You’re not unrealistically optimistic either! So it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to show off about how much you do as a mom. Entering into the secret giveaway! ❤️ Can you do a video about how you’re teaching Logan about your faith?
The most important thing about pregnancy that I learned is Being Happy.Whatever makes you happy 😊Just know that you are gonna be the best mom for your lil one.May you get all the happiness 💓
I am not a mum but I have always had a vision or idea of the kind of mum I would be. When you talked about not meeting your own expectations of being a mum or that you would probably never fully be the mum you wanted, I heard that so loudly. I was always aware that having kids might not be what I expected but I had never considered the expectations I had of myself! I love watching your videos, have been watching probably since around 2011/12!! Hope you are having a dreamy week so far! X
Finally, someone speaks about the hardships of being a mom. most people understand that it's a big miracle to be a parent but every good thing in this life has something negative. Thank you, Nikki! :)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It is always interesting to learn the perspectives of others as they go through events in life. I am nowhere near being a mom (I'm 26 and never even been on a date, let alone a relationship, marriage, or children!), but I enjoy all of your videos and you are easy to watch/listen to. :) Fun fact: you were the FIRST "UA-camr" I ever started watching and subscribed to! I never really knew what UA-cam had to offer until I randomly stumbled onto it one day amid a long bout of lonely years. You gave me (& still give me) a sense of a virtual friend when I haven't had any friends for 10 years. and pretty much just live in isolation and solitude. So, thanks for that. Keep up the podcasts and videos- they are wonderful!
I love my son but there are times that man, I don’t know if I like him lol. He’s the sweetest, cutest, most smart boy but he’s also insanely strong willed and defiant which makes being his mama a blessing but also SO hard at times. I know he will grow up to be an AMAZING leader but I may end up in a mental institution too lol.
Someone once told me that being a mother is the hardest job you’ll ever love, and no truer words have ever been spoken. I have three kids (16, 9, and 7) and when I look back at how tough I thought the baby years were, or the toddler years, I have to laugh. It gets so much harder (and more joyous) as they get older and you have to actually PARENT them and help shape them into kind and productive little humans.
Ha yea, the sleep thing is something parents dont talk about enough. Considering a second kid and im still not getting great sleep . Parenting is exhausting but rewarding. Hard to see your life without them, they bring you so much purpose, they really need you and your truly their hero and whole world
I’m not a mother but I commend you for speaking up about this. Many times, as you said, it’s stigmatized that you shouldn’t have any issues with motherhood but in reality so many mothers struggle and don’t like certain things but don’t speak up. Hats off to you! 💕
Finally got to finish this- My word this brought back so many memories with my first! Learning how selfish we are was a big slap in the face after my first and I look back and see how much motherhood has changed me- I think in a lot of ways they third was easier than the first. Thanks for the chatty vid. It was very heart warming.
Nikki! Thank you for sharing some of the challenges of motherhood. It was nice to hear about your life from a different lens. Also still super encouraging 😆
I'm a mom of 3 girls and this last baby girl has thrown me for such a loop my hormones are all over to the point I went to the hospital 9 days after she was born because I was having an anxiety attack. So watching this was very uplifting and helped me to remember to just enjoy them while I have them...while God has blessed me to be their mommy
Thanks for this video!! I am becoming a mom for the first time in a few weeks and I'm so nervous. Videos like this (and all of your videos) have really helped.
Nikki I know you are no perfect but I admire you so much. I have seen you grow through your videos and let me tell you that you are doing so good. You inspire me. Thank you
You described motherhood perfectly! I have a 21 year old daughter and a 6 year old son that has autism and I have no idea God chose to put 15 years between my children but I know now at 42 he had an amazing plan. Kane (my son) has been a blessing that I didn’t know I needed and Kayla took me out of a bad place at 21 and made me love outside of myself. Love them in every season cause it truly goes by so fast💕
Thank you Nikki for sharing. It is hard when the camp of ‘perfect moms’ makes you feel like you aren’t doing something right. I am a mom of one 6 year old. I work full time( used to be outside the home, now working from home), my husband works full time, and our daughter has always been in daycare/school due to both of us working. I have been looking into homeschooling in my state with how everything is going this year. For now, she is still in school anyway. At our church, there is a family with 4 kids, husband works, wife is SAHM and homeschools the three older ones. I catch myself comparing to people like that. Wondering how they can seem to always be so happy and in love with mom life , getting everything done, when I am so frazzled with just one. I am working on grace for myself. Knowing that everyone’s situation and purpose is different. Again thank you Nikki for your video. Have a blessed day!!
One thing that has helped me with the crying is looking at it not always as suffering (although sometimes it can be) but just as expression. My daughter is 2.5 now and I still remind myself and my husband of this. Infants can't speak, but even when they learn, they still don't know how to process their emotions or put them into words. So the crying is just their way of expressing what they might be feeling. By the way, I learned this from Janet Lansbury's podcasts about respectful parenting- I can't recommend it enough!!!
Not a mom (yet) but this video is so helpful, especially the part about control and accepting that you won't be able to control everything that happens
I have daily mom guilt. I feel like I fail my child everyday. The exercise that you said about asking yourself why you’re a good/bad mom was tough for me. I easily can ask myself why am I a bad mom? But the why am I a good mom... I couldn’t ask, even thinking it was hard. I’m pretty hard on myself and want to change it so bad. I’m even starting to feel the stress physically of not being good enough. Thank you for this video🙏🏼🙏🏼💞
I was just telling Anthony the other day, there is a reason that nature and biology make that chemical bond so strong haha like, if that wasn’t set in place right off the jump, it would be even harder to get through a lot of it! At least in my opinion. I also try to intellectualize certain things in order to minimize mom guilt. For example, I’ll nap instead of pump sometimes-I’ll tell myself, well lack of sleep increases cortisol and cortisol can go into breast milk and I don’t want to feed my baby stress hormone milk, so nap it is! Haha 🤣 adrenal hormones also decreases milk supply so in a way I’m doing my milk a favor!! I think parenthood will always be a give and take and just learning how to balance it and knowing the appropriate times to take for yourself. 🤗 Real quick-is working out effecting your supply at all? I started doing small, easy workouts, but I’m nervous to go back to what I was doing and burn off too many calories. I would really love to get back to lifting weights tho 🤔
I breastfed for 18 months and I never felt like weight-lifting impacted my supply at all. Just make sure to stay hydrated and eat a little more to make up for the lost calories :)
Just to let you know, this was SO encouraging to me!! I have seen so much on social media that almost makes me unconsciously dread motherhood. The long nights, the fits, the crying... it’s just feels as if the joy of motherhood has been lost! I am about to have my first baby in 1 month, and I can’t tell you how encouraging this was for me! Even though this was technically what you don’t like about motherhood 😂 you focused on the life changing joy and refinement of it all, and I so appreciated it. It’s helped me get my mindset right for welcoming my little boy into the world! Thank you!
The worst part of motherhood for me so far, because I'm only a first time Mom of a 6-month-old boy, has been the feeling of inadequacy. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough to stimulate him or help his development and it's frustrating and I also feel guilty cuz sometimes I just feel so tired and I don't have the brain power to help him in his development and that makes me feel shitty.
My son is less then a month younger than Logan and I needed this. This video spoke to my heart. There is a saying “Women need women” and I believe that. We need to support each other as moms because it is hard! Sometimes we need others to remind us of the beauty in it as well.
I think its so beautiful that you can be honest but also stay positive talking about difficult things 🥰. I've been loving your videos for years and feel like we have so much in common. I'm a huge Finding Nemo/Dory fan so the "just keep swimming" advice was perfect 🥰. I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant after 2 miscarriges and appreciate your positive vibes so much❤. I would love to hear the things you love about being a mom. Thank you for the chance to win the giveaway! Thank you for being you, xo
These are great points Nikki! Motherhood is a roller coaster of emotions and it’s very important to be a friend to yourself as you said. The world could make us harder on ourselves than we need to be, especially with comparisons. Our children will likely forgive us of all the things we didn’t do perfectly because they will realize no parent is perfect, especially when they have their own🌹
Thanks for a wonderful video, Nikki. Going to save it to share the ending with my 18 year old daughter who is struggling. I tell her all the time to give herself some grace and to stop talking to herself the way she does. It’s so powerful.
I love you so much Nikki, your videos used to get me through my hardest times during my first year of collage 6 years ago .. unfortunately I have fallen for a long time of keeping up with your videos I'm so happy you've become a mama and i definitely can tell motherhood have influenced you in someway .. you have no Idea how glad I am to watch this video after a long time 💜💜
I appreciate you being real with some of your struggles with being a mom. My baby is due in January and I have some worries about being a good selfless mom but im sure everyone does. Much love ❤
I think the traditional notion of pro life and pro choice have become too radicalized. I can care about every human life and understand that I have no say over someone else’s life choice that they need to make. Not everyone can survive pregnancy and not all birth controls work. But that’s okay. And this is a great discussion for sure 💖
I'm not a mom but this was super interesting. I like your optimistic point of view. You seem very down to earth and I really enjoy watching your videos. It feels like we're friends and we are having a random chat when I listen to your videos.
"They can't speak English yet" lolol I love that hahahaha But I love this video. I remember people constantly telling me how awful it was going to be a mom and I've found way more joy than not in motherhood. Perspective is VERY important. You can be a constant negative Nancy or change your mindset.
My therapist always says don’t “should yourself” but be kind to yourself. I like your list. The number one thing that I didn’t realize before I had kids was after the baby was born my food would turn cold. 😂
Nikki I'm so glad you had a baby. I'm so glad you get to experience the joys and struggles of parenting. Your guidance will help mold him into a wonderful child of God!
I really enjoyed this video! I appreciate your realistic perspective while you also show the positives (and some negatives) too. I’d like to see a video about what you love about being a mom!
I loved this video!! I really enjoy you speaking openly about your beliefs and life it’s so beneficial to me and nice to know other people feel so positive about things in life like I do! Video request would be can you talk about your habits and how you formed them? You touched on the working out.. can you expand on your thoughts behind habits and routines! Love you Nikki!! 💜💜
You are absolutely amazing. You always put how I feel in the right way but I couldn't alaberate as well as you do. I love your voice it's truly so calming. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are doing wonderful as a mom. I'm a Mom of a 3 year old and can relate to what you are saying 100%. I've been listening to you for a long time now and anytime I need a calming voice or inspiration I click on your videos. Thank you for always being real in your videos. Have a wonderful day.
As a mom struggling with anxiety and depression, these are all the things i don't like about motherhood. May God protect you from having any of that. And indeed know that we ought to be still and know that He is God!
I would love to hear your perspective on "marrying young" I am in this same boat. I have the same mindset that this is going to be one of the hardest but most fulfilling roles in my life. I think of it in a positive aspect rather than "things are not always going to be sunshine and rainbows." I feel like this narrative can also leave out the positives.
HOME TEACHING QUESTION. Its evident that we become by products of our environments. Therefore, when parents decide to do homeschooling it can be a conflictive decision when one chooses what to teach them. Yes, we love the child, but can our selfishness and view points get in the way from the actual facts about a specific subject.
Fighting my own selfishness! I remember when my kids were little, only listening to children’s music in the car and children’s programs on the TV. Also, leaving a BBQ before we got to eat because it was time to to put our kids to bed. (Ruining the routine wasn’t worth it at the time) Everything is a season and it goes by so fast. We homeschooled using an accredited Christian based Program and I’d do it all over again. My kids were very active socially, have lots of friends, are active in our church and are now both in college. (Both got academic scholarships & our son received an $80k scholarship for an essay) so homeschooling worked out well:)
mmm mango tea!! can you do a video on your tea collection/storage/tea names and companies? Ever since Teavana went away im needing recommendations!! 😁🙏 luv ya! ❤️
With the crying thing, do you find that Dan doesn't mind the crying as much as you do? I remember reading a psychological study that measured mothers and fathers reactions to their baby crying. The mothers had a faster heart rate and higher BP, and the fathers had the same reaction as if they were listening to a song on the radio. I found that interesting, as I remember when my babies cried I'd be losing my mind and my husband was totally chill. Lol.
Thank you for this video! Really inspiring and I too believe in what you talk about yourself to yourself is important. Also, could you do a video on the essential nutrients that we need after giving birth! 💛
You are and look so pretty! I love your shirt too, the colors suit you really well 😊 And I really like your sunshiny (or how you called it) perspective on life!
Postpartum happens at any time after birth with in the year. That period extends even longer if youre still breastfeeding after the year. A lot of people dont know that and it sure explained A LOT for me.
Not only a personality but a whole other consciousness is in the room that didnt exist the in world before. Think about that. Someone else is thinking about the world that didnt exist a few months or years ago.
So to sum it up!
1. The crying
2. Being out of control
3. Fighting my own selfishness
4. The lack of sleep
That's so interesting that you became even more pro life, I feel like with my pregnancy, I became even more pro choice. Your body goes thru so much change and your physical, mental and emotional state goes thru so much that I wouldn't want to force someone to go thru this if they truly don't want to.
i agree!
100%. Knowing how hard it is, if someone is unable to give that child what is necessary mentally, physically, or emotionally, they should not be forced into it. Not to mention financially have the luxury to be with baby all the time. It's also unfair to have to carry that child and give up the child. I don't understand how someone can have a baby and become more pro-life.
I agree with Nikki. I just had my first baby and can’t imagine aborting a baby that has a heartbeat so early and doesn’t have a voice to speak up for their life. I feel people have the choice when they have sex and know there is an outcome of pregnancy (obviously there are different scenarios - There are of course circumstances that I feel different about) Everyone has a different view. The thought of killing an innocent baby personally makes me uncomfortable 🤷🏻♀️
My least favorite part of being a mom is the way my body has changed since pregnancy. I embrace some of the changes but some are an extreme struggle.
Like what ?
Tip: The video actually starts at 7:38 for those of you who just want the answers. :)
I'm so glad you mentioned not being in control. Even though my kids are grown, they're still at home. I still worry about them. I just have to put them in God's hands. Especially, in todays circumstances.
I back up nanny mostly older children. The “selfish” thing I could do is do everything for children because it’s easier and takes less time. But in reality kids need to learn how to do things for themselves.
Beginning a grandma it's the best. Being a parent was great! But this grandma thing lol I'm on cloud 9❤❤❤
We all need to support access to universal free/affordable birth control to try to PREVENT abortions. Abortion rates are actually higher in countries where it is illegal.
As a doctor, I've seen several women get pregnant because they didn't have access to birth control. Obviously, best case scenario is to prevent undesired pregnancies with the use of birth control. But what if a woman gets pregnant and she does not desire a pregnancy...
1) get illegal medications to have an abortion at home, still not get birth control, then get pregnant again
2) have a safe termination & get birth control like an IUD that lasts 10 years to prevent another pregnancy
My opinion may be less popular & more conservative, but I AM pro-life. As much as it breaks my heart to even think about abortion, I am in favor of legal abortion services to prevent MORE abortions from happening. You may think this is an oxymoron, but I hope you understand my message. It took me years to process my stance & I hope you can at least respect it.
Tiffany Forte Thank you!
“The way we speak to ourself matters” 👏🏻
Thank you so much for this! I wish you had talked about the fear of disappointing Logan because I definitely relate to that. My baby girl is 3 months now & I watched all of your videos while I was pregnant and during my postpartum journey. Mentally, I struggled after birth, especially because my birth was traumatic & seeing the everyone else’s highlight real of motherhood has made me feel isolated. Breastfeeding has also had my hormones very wonky! I really needed this video 😭 To know that you also have some parts you struggle with, but that you can still love motherhood simultaneously! Thank you for sharing, EVERYTHING, for the pep talk at the end, and for just being you. Thank you, also, for bringing it back to God. What you said about birth really touched my heart. I love you, mama ❤️ Wish I could just give you a giant hug!
Thank you for the feedback and for sharing your thoughts! Motherhood is amazing but it can be hard. You got his mama 👏🏻 Sending you a virtual hug 🤍🤍🤍
I remember the crying with my first babies (our first were twins 😅), whenever they cried it gave me such a physical reaction of anxiety and it upset me SO much! Motherhood is the craziest trip of LIFE man, to me it’s such a challenge but it’s all wrapped up in magic, if that makes sense 😂
This type of video NEEDS to be common!! We all have things we dont like about being a parent and it needs to be talked about.
Thanks for sharing, Nikki!!🧡
My least favorite is how vulnerable I feel, when it comes to my son.
Just wanted to let you know that you’re wonderful, have an amazing and positive day ! To you and anyone reading (yes, you!) 😘 ♥️
Such a sweet message! Thank you ☺️
NikkiPhillippi ofc! :)
Ok here is my 2 cents. Having 2 older teen boys. I always felt that some mom's don't paint the true picture of raising kids. When I had my 1st son, I was overwhelmed and felt I had no clue on how hard it was going to be and 1st time mom's don't tell you the truth. Same goes for teens and you worry if your child is on the right path especially raising adult children. When I hear one of my relatives say something happened to one of their kids that you find out about later it makes you feel better that you are not the only parent going through certain situations. So for me it helps when I hear other parents going through the same thing. Parenting is hard as a baby all the way through adulthood. Mom of 18 and 16 year old going nutty lol
Mom guilt is so hard.
I had to stop watching some channels because I realized they complained a lot. Pregnant with my first and negativity is not for me ❤️☺️
Love your sunshine and positivity! We need more of it in the world. You’re not unrealistically optimistic either! So it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to show off about how much you do as a mom.
Entering into the secret giveaway! ❤️
Can you do a video about how you’re teaching Logan about your faith?
It's so important to keep pregnancies as low stress as possible. Wtg!
The most important thing about pregnancy that I learned is Being Happy.Whatever makes you happy 😊Just know that you are gonna be the best mom for your lil one.May you get all the happiness 💓
Thank you for your words of encouragement 🥰 And congratulations to you!!!
I am not a mum but I have always had a vision or idea of the kind of mum I would be. When you talked about not meeting your own expectations of being a mum or that you would probably never fully be the mum you wanted, I heard that so loudly. I was always aware that having kids might not be what I expected but I had never considered the expectations I had of myself! I love watching your videos, have been watching probably since around 2011/12!! Hope you are having a dreamy week so far! X
Being a mom is so, so hard, but it is the most rewarding thing. Seeing them happy, makes me feel like I did something right.
Finally, someone speaks about the hardships of being a mom. most people understand that it's a big miracle to be a parent but every good thing in this life has something negative. Thank you, Nikki! :)
I resonate with you so much Niki, I feel like we’d be friends IRL
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It is always interesting to learn the perspectives of others as they go through events in life. I am nowhere near being a mom (I'm 26 and never even been on a date, let alone a relationship, marriage, or children!), but I enjoy all of your videos and you are easy to watch/listen to. :)
Fun fact: you were the FIRST "UA-camr" I ever started watching and subscribed to! I never really knew what UA-cam had to offer until I randomly stumbled onto it one day amid a long bout of lonely years. You gave me (& still give me) a sense of a virtual friend when I haven't had any friends for 10 years. and pretty much just live in isolation and solitude. So, thanks for that. Keep up the podcasts and videos- they are wonderful!
I love my son but there are times that man, I don’t know if I like him lol. He’s the sweetest, cutest, most smart boy but he’s also insanely strong willed and defiant which makes being his mama a blessing but also SO hard at times. I know he will grow up to be an AMAZING leader but I may end up in a mental institution too lol.
Someone once told me that being a mother is the hardest job you’ll ever love, and no truer words have ever been spoken. I have three kids (16, 9, and 7) and when I look back at how tough I thought the baby years were, or the toddler years, I have to laugh. It gets so much harder (and more joyous) as they get older and you have to actually PARENT them and help shape them into kind and productive little humans.
Ha yea, the sleep thing is something parents dont talk about enough. Considering a second kid and im still not getting great sleep . Parenting is exhausting but rewarding. Hard to see your life without them, they bring you so much purpose, they really need you and your truly their hero and whole world
You are right my baby is my heart outside my body
As a soon to be mom, I clicked asap!
Being a momma is my favorite thing to be!!
I’m not a mother but I commend you for speaking up about this. Many times, as you said, it’s stigmatized that you shouldn’t have any issues with motherhood but in reality so many mothers struggle and don’t like certain things but don’t speak up. Hats off to you! 💕
Finally got to finish this- My word this brought back so many memories with my first! Learning how selfish we are was a big slap in the face after my first and I look back and see how much motherhood has changed me- I think in a lot of ways they third was easier than the first. Thanks for the chatty vid. It was very heart warming.
Nikki! Thank you for sharing some of the challenges of motherhood. It was nice to hear about your life from a different lens. Also still super encouraging 😆
I’m really afraid of the changes to my body during pregnancy and the pain and discomfort
I'm a mom of 3 girls and this last baby girl has thrown me for such a loop my hormones are all over to the point I went to the hospital 9 days after she was born because I was having an anxiety attack. So watching this was very uplifting and helped me to remember to just enjoy them while I have them...while God has blessed me to be their mommy
Thanks for this video!! I am becoming a mom for the first time in a few weeks and I'm so nervous. Videos like this (and all of your videos) have really helped.
Nikki I know you are no perfect but I admire you so much. I have seen you grow through your videos and let me tell you that you are doing so good. You inspire me. Thank you
You described motherhood perfectly! I have a 21 year old daughter and a 6 year old son that has autism and I have no idea God chose to put 15 years between my children but I know now at 42 he had an amazing plan. Kane (my son) has been a blessing that I didn’t know I needed and Kayla took me out of a bad place at 21 and made me love outside of myself. Love them in every season cause it truly goes by so fast💕
Self-talk definitely matters to mental health
Best way to wind down. Is a notification from Nikki 💕
I'm here for the tea 😆
Currently 15 weeks pregnant, this is my first baby and all your videos help me a lot for me to understand and also calms me. Thank you
Thank you Nikki for sharing. It is hard when the camp of ‘perfect moms’ makes you feel like you aren’t doing something right. I am a mom of one 6 year old. I work full time( used to be outside the home, now working from home), my husband works full time, and our daughter has always been in daycare/school due to both of us working. I have been looking into homeschooling in my state with how everything is going this year. For now, she is still in school anyway. At our church, there is a family with 4 kids, husband works, wife is SAHM and homeschools the three older ones. I catch myself comparing to people like that. Wondering how they can seem to always be so happy and in love with mom life , getting everything done, when I am so frazzled with just one.
I am working on grace for myself. Knowing that everyone’s situation and purpose is different. Again thank you Nikki for your video. Have a blessed day!!
One thing that has helped me with the crying is looking at it not always as suffering (although sometimes it can be) but just as expression. My daughter is 2.5 now and I still remind myself and my husband of this. Infants can't speak, but even when they learn, they still don't know how to process their emotions or put them into words. So the crying is just their way of expressing what they might be feeling. By the way, I learned this from Janet Lansbury's podcasts about respectful parenting- I can't recommend it enough!!!
You hit the nail on the head, motherhood is so beautiful, but can definitely be hard. I have a hard time sitting in negative emotions too 🤷🏼♀️
Thanks for the honesty
Not a mom (yet) but this video is so helpful, especially the part about control and accepting that you won't be able to control everything that happens
I have daily mom guilt. I feel like I fail my child everyday. The exercise that you said about asking yourself why you’re a good/bad mom was tough for me. I easily can ask myself why am I a bad mom? But the why am I a good mom... I couldn’t ask, even thinking it was hard. I’m pretty hard on myself and want to change it so bad. I’m even starting to feel the stress physically of not being good enough. Thank you for this video🙏🏼🙏🏼💞
Hello! If your seeing this have a awesome day! :)
You too 😊
This!!!!! Thank you for making this video 😭😭😭😭 I needed this.
I was just telling Anthony the other day, there is a reason that nature and biology make that chemical bond so strong haha like, if that wasn’t set in place right off the jump, it would be even harder to get through a lot of it! At least in my opinion.
I also try to intellectualize certain things in order to minimize mom guilt. For example, I’ll nap instead of pump sometimes-I’ll tell myself, well lack of sleep increases cortisol and cortisol can go into breast milk and I don’t want to feed my baby stress hormone milk, so nap it is! Haha 🤣 adrenal hormones also decreases milk supply so in a way I’m doing my milk a favor!!
I think parenthood will always be a give and take and just learning how to balance it and knowing the appropriate times to take for yourself. 🤗
Real quick-is working out effecting your supply at all? I started doing small, easy workouts, but I’m nervous to go back to what I was doing and burn off too many calories. I would really love to get back to lifting weights tho 🤔
I breastfed for 18 months and I never felt like weight-lifting impacted my supply at all. Just make sure to stay hydrated and eat a little more to make up for the lost calories :)
Just to let you know, this was SO encouraging to me!! I have seen so much on social media that almost makes me unconsciously dread motherhood. The long nights, the fits, the crying... it’s just feels as if the joy of motherhood has been lost! I am about to have my first baby in 1 month, and I can’t tell you how encouraging this was for me! Even though this was technically what you don’t like about motherhood 😂 you focused on the life changing joy and refinement of it all, and I so appreciated it. It’s helped me get my mindset right for welcoming my little boy into the world! Thank you!
The worst part of motherhood for me so far, because I'm only a first time Mom of a 6-month-old boy, has been the feeling of inadequacy. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough to stimulate him or help his development and it's frustrating and I also feel guilty cuz sometimes I just feel so tired and I don't have the brain power to help him in his development and that makes me feel shitty.
My son is less then a month younger than Logan and I needed this. This video spoke to my heart. There is a saying “Women need women” and I believe that. We need to support each other as moms because it is hard! Sometimes we need others to remind us of the beauty in it as well.
I love tea talks!! And I’m looking forward to your homeschooling video!
I think its so beautiful that you can be honest but also stay positive talking about difficult things 🥰.
I've been loving your videos for years and feel like we have so much in common. I'm a huge Finding Nemo/Dory fan so the "just keep swimming" advice was perfect 🥰.
I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant after 2 miscarriges and appreciate your positive vibes so much❤.
I would love to hear the things you love about being a mom.
Thank you for the chance to win the giveaway!
Thank you for being you, xo
Although I’m nowhere close to becoming a mom, it’s so interesting hearing your perspective on things!
These are great points Nikki! Motherhood is a roller coaster of emotions and it’s very important to be a friend to yourself as you said. The world could make us harder on ourselves than we need to be, especially with comparisons. Our children will likely forgive us of all the things we didn’t do perfectly because they will realize no parent is perfect, especially when they have their own🌹
Pouring from an empty cup over here today. So thankful for my children!!! Also, thankful they go to bed in 2 hours. Lol great video as always
Thanks for a wonderful video, Nikki. Going to save it to share the ending with my 18 year old daughter who is struggling. I tell her all the time to give herself some grace and to stop talking to herself the way she does. It’s so powerful.
I’m sorry she’s struggling right now. We definitely have to give ourselves grace and know we are doing our best.
I guess one of the things was putting down the dog right? Influencer😂
I love you so much Nikki, your videos used to get me through my hardest times during my first year of collage 6 years ago .. unfortunately I have fallen for a long time of keeping up with your videos I'm so happy you've become a mama and i definitely can tell motherhood have influenced you in someway .. you have no Idea how glad I am to watch this video after a long time 💜💜
I’m due to be induced on October 2nd, and this was a great video. Thank you for the honesty Nikki!
Thank you for the encouragement and congratulations!! 🤍🤍🤍
I appreciate you being real with some of your struggles with being a mom. My baby is due in January and I have some worries about being a good selfless mom but im sure everyone does. Much love ❤
I think the traditional notion of pro life and pro choice have become too radicalized. I can care about every human life and understand that I have no say over someone else’s life choice that they need to make. Not everyone can survive pregnancy and not all birth controls work. But that’s okay. And this is a great discussion for sure 💖
I'm not a mom but this was super interesting. I like your optimistic point of view. You seem very down to earth and I really enjoy watching your videos. It feels like we're friends and we are having a random chat when I listen to your videos.
"They can't speak English yet" lolol I love that hahahaha
But I love this video. I remember people constantly telling me how awful it was going to be a mom and I've found way more joy than not in motherhood. Perspective is VERY important. You can be a constant negative Nancy or change your mindset.
My therapist always says don’t “should yourself” but be kind to yourself. I like your list. The number one thing that I didn’t realize before I had kids was after the baby was born my food would turn cold. 😂
I love these types of chatty videos. And though I am not a mom, it still resonates with me.
Thank you for this video and your honestly. Always love your realness 💓
Being a mom is so hard and so rewarding. It's a lot of emotions lol love hearing your perspective
Nikki I'm so glad you had a baby. I'm so glad you get to experience the joys and struggles of parenting. Your guidance will help mold him into a wonderful child of God!
I've wondered the same things! Thanks for sharing.
I love your vulnerability, Nikki! I'm not even a mom, but I watched this to the end 💓
I really enjoyed this video! I appreciate your realistic perspective while you also show the positives (and some negatives) too. I’d like to see a video about what you love about being a mom!
I loved this video!! I really enjoy you speaking openly about your beliefs and life it’s so beneficial to me and nice to know other people feel so positive about things in life like I do! Video request would be can you talk about your habits and how you formed them? You touched on the working out.. can you expand on your thoughts behind habits and routines! Love you Nikki!! 💜💜
How about you add "I killed my dog for my kid" to this list
Great video Nikki! I'm not a mom yet but I can definitely understand your perspective!
You are absolutely amazing. You always put how I feel in the right way but I couldn't alaberate as well as you do. I love your voice it's truly so calming. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are doing wonderful as a mom. I'm a Mom of a 3 year old and can relate to what you are saying 100%. I've been listening to you for a long time now and anytime I need a calming voice or inspiration I click on your videos. Thank you for always being real in your videos. Have a wonderful day.
As a mom struggling with anxiety and depression, these are all the things i don't like about motherhood. May God protect you from having any of that. And indeed know that we ought to be still and know that He is God!
Thanks for the video! It’s good to know that I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings about motherhood ❤️😊
Yes favorite parts of being a mom please !!!
I love the way you articulate your feelings, thanks for sharing your life with us for all these years. You have taught me so much!
I would love to hear your perspective on "marrying young" I am in this same boat. I have the same mindset that this is going to be one of the hardest but most fulfilling roles in my life. I think of it in a positive aspect rather than "things are not always going to be sunshine and rainbows." I feel like this narrative can also leave out the positives.
HOME TEACHING QUESTION.
Its evident that we become by products of our environments. Therefore, when parents decide to do homeschooling it can be a conflictive decision when one chooses what to teach them. Yes, we love the child, but can our selfishness and view points get in the way from the actual facts about a specific subject.
This is awesome and I’m excited to answer:)
In an upcoming video I mean! And by “answer” I just mean give my thoughts:) lol 😘
Thank you for this 😀 I needed this today. Love your videos, I consider you a friend for a decade now. ❤️❤️❤️
This is the REAL TEA ♥️♥️♥️
Fighting my own selfishness! I remember when my kids were little, only listening to children’s music in the car and children’s programs on the TV. Also, leaving a BBQ before we got to eat because it was time to to put our kids to bed. (Ruining the routine wasn’t worth it at the time) Everything is a season and it goes by so fast. We homeschooled using an accredited Christian based Program and I’d do it all over again. My kids were very active socially, have lots of friends, are active in our church and are now both in college. (Both got academic scholarships & our son received an $80k scholarship for an essay) so homeschooling worked out well:)
I am going to be a first time mom in April 2021, I loved this video even though I am not an actual mom yet, it really resonated with me ❤️ Thank you!
Congratulations!! 🥰🤗
Loved this vid, thank you for sharing!
mmm mango tea!! can you do a video on your tea collection/storage/tea names and companies? Ever since Teavana went away im needing recommendations!! 😁🙏 luv ya! ❤️
With the crying thing, do you find that Dan doesn't mind the crying as much as you do? I remember reading a psychological study that measured mothers and fathers reactions to their baby crying. The mothers had a faster heart rate and higher BP, and the fathers had the same reaction as if they were listening to a song on the radio. I found that interesting, as I remember when my babies cried I'd be losing my mind and my husband was totally chill. Lol.
Thank you for this video! Really inspiring and I too believe in what you talk about yourself to yourself is important. Also, could you do a video on the essential nutrients that we need after giving birth! 💛
You are and look so pretty! I love your shirt too, the colors suit you really well 😊 And I really like your sunshiny (or how you called it) perspective on life!
I just had my son a month ago and you are literally me😂 I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing!
Everything you said resonated in my soul!!
"Just keep swiming, just keep swiming"
So well spoken and honest ♥️
Your positivity is great!
I don’t think it’s postpartum 3 yrs later
Postpartum happens at any time after birth with in the year. That period extends even longer if youre still breastfeeding after the year. A lot of people dont know that and it sure explained A LOT for me.
I needed this video today! ❤️
Not only a personality but a whole other consciousness is in the room that didnt exist the in world before. Think about that. Someone else is thinking about the world that didnt exist a few months or years ago.