A Survivor Story: Sylvia Goalen
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- Опубліковано 11 чер 2014
- Sylvia shares her story of child sexual abuse, to provide a deeper understanding of the experience of survivors.
Together, we can protect children from sexual abuse. To learn how you can help us keep kids safe, visit our website at www.D2L.org/get-trained.
She referred to herself as "tainted." So sad. She is not. She is strong and a survivor. Be proud.
My brother did that to me, but nothing has ever come of it. I was 3-4, and he was 13-14...no one ever cared though. Now he's happy with a beautiful family, and I'm here with major mental illness. That's life... Stay strong.
MzGumby02 im sorry that happened to you 😢 please call on Jesus He will heal you , like He has healed me
Yes Jesus is alive and he will come to you the moment you call on him to heal your brokenness.
Jesus loves you . I hope you find peace .you deserve it
Beautiful family? you have right here dangerous situation for his children, if he did that with you dear - his sibling, he can easily repeat that with other vulnerable kid
Go to the police and report what happened. It does matter when
This is why I don't trust my family or anybody really with my kids.
quitina dewey. It wasn't until AFTER I left my husband that my younger sisters came forward and described the sexual abuse perpetrated by that creep. And he was always such a charmer, so 'good' with kids, so mesmerizing to young women. (My sisters are much younger than me, and they were teens when the idiot assaulted them. Not rape, but pretty damn near.) They talked about it to each other, but were petrified to tell me all those years I was with him. After their experiences with him, they kept their distance from him, and I always wondered why . . .
@@marywallner4720 ill definitely take it from you and be single until my kids are old enough to be on their own. I have friends but just couldnt trust them to care about my kids the way i do. Thanks for sharing makes me think more. Thats why its so important to get your story out there.
Facts
Same here 😞
quitina dewey my kids never had a baby sister they’re 3 and 8 no ma’am I’ll be on death row
The after-affects of sexual abuse never fully go away. Sylvia is very strong and brave.
very true
Sylvia, you are an amazing, beautiful and strong woman and you are not alone!!
That is why it is important not to judge promiscuous girls, you have no idea what they”ve been thru
Facts
@la belle province or attention
@@JosannaMonik I have to disagree with that. From my personal experience a fair amount of women hit their sexual peak earlier or simply have a naturally high libido. It doesn't necessarily stem from abuse or a misguided search for love or attention. People of any gender can be sexually active simply because they enjoy sex - or as a coping mechanism for trauma. Neither group deserve judgement or prejudice. It's important not to project personal trauma onto whole groups of people. I hope this doesn't come across as invalidating of your experiences, I don't intend it that way.
THANK YOU!
Oh and you are not ugly, you are beautiful!
I was very moved by your story. Thank you for sharing it even though it's painful. When my hubby and I were dating, we decided that in order to protect our as of yet unborn children, we were NEVER going to allow them to sleep over ANYONE'S house. EVER!!! Boy, did they ever hate that rule! But my husband and I were both ADAMANT and UNAPOLOGETIC!! It was not easy, but our concern was the safety of our children and not the sensibilities of anyone who might be offended by our decision! Family, friends or foe. My adult children can now appreciate those other rules, especially my only daughter who is a mother herself now. God bless you and your family and I'm so very proud of your courage!! Adelante!!
Literally crying my eyes out when you talked about the birth of your son. You’re so strong and a true survivor!
This verifies that children are the most used, misused, abused, and hated on the planet. Caring adults have just got to find a way to inform children of what's going on against them and show them that there is someone safe to go to...to hear them... believe them...save them.
Now I totally understand why my mother never left me with neighbours or family to look after me. She even used to take me to her work so she could look after me, care for me . I always thought she was overprotective but she was right. All children are vulnerable and vultures are everywhere, unfortunately.
My dear Silvia
I know you will probably never see this but I saw your story.I felt your kindness and loving nature.Your cousin stole nothing from you.He tried but failed to steal your soul and your fighting spirit.You are beautiful and you will always be.
Amen!
then a
From one survivor to another, thankyou for sharing your story 😃 Listerning to you share brings me hope, courage and faith that despite being a victim of sexual abuse in childhood it's still possible to live a fulfilling and happy life as an adult.
everything I felt while watching this... this is exactly how I feel as well. Perfectly said! Sylvia - you inspire me during these darker days.
Petra Mijic
That's terrible
Petra Mijic That's incredible
My mums been through stuff like that and I don't know how to help her. She's leaving him again and I hope she does
We get our power back by talking about it, and not taking on the shameful secret. The shame belongs to the abuser!!
Things do not happen for a reason. That's just not true. It's what perpetrators tell us to make us feel better.
100% agree with you on that!!!
You happen to be 100% right, don't buy into the naysayers
Exactly
I would agree that perpetrators try to justify their abuse by saying "well it's able to happen, I'm able to do it to you, therefore it must be for a good reason."
Your abuse happened because your older cousin CHOSE to gratify himself and take advantage of your 7, 8, 9 year old self - not for any other 'reason'!! I am a Christian 'survivor' also, and I do not believe for a minute that this is what God wanted for you, or me. How you chose to survive though, now that's inspiring!!
Thank God you have a loving husband..
Thank you for sharing your testimony about your Abuser & him violating you as a child!
I was molested as a child & the more testimonies I hear the more I am talking about my Abusers!
God bless you!
💕🙏💕
Yes me too, one survivor to another. Thank you 🙏 for sharing. Your story seems almost identical to mine. And your son Issac truly blessing :) god bless you and your family always. Keep standing strong!
You ARE pretty!!!! You are so beautiful. And no matter what happened to you, you are worth love and respect and the space to heal. God bless you, praying for you💟💟💟💟
Stories like this break my heart as a survivor I feel her pain. My molester used the same tactics
Thank you for sharing what happened to you. I am a survivor, also.
thank you for using your voice for all the good in this video
I can understand where you're coming from I was molested at the age of 9 and I was raped at the age of 13 by two of my cousins we from Honduras and when it came out they swept it under the rug and was never spoken of again it's like the men got a pass for raping young girls inside I'm still hurt 💔💔
it sounded like she was talking about me when it comes to love and needing someone, when she was talking about marriage. i have too, gone through a lot in my life but am working towards a better life. god bless her
I'm proud of you. Thank you for sharing!
Then at 3,6 17 years.then my 3.my mama found out her I was 17.he really hurt me all over.he said
I was bad praying got me .
My name is ruthie
I wish I could help people.
You are a beautiful being and your testimony will bless others. Continued blessings to you and your family. 🌹
You’re so strong!! You are never alone :)
Thank you for sharing ! As a child I was molested by a family member and I also didn’t tell my parents until I was an adult but when I did tell them nothing was done about it was just sweep under the rug like it never happened ! 😥
I'm so proud of you for telling your parents!!!!
I’m Latin American, we had to be independent no clustering in my family. My mom said go to school get a job and move out. I feel sorry for this lady.
Dear Sylvia, thank you so much for your openess and loving kindness. I adore your great compassion for everything and everyone. You definately changed my view on a very important point: the mother's guilt.. thanks
Thank you for sharing your journey . You reached your goal of helping others contextualize their struggles.
Healing helps I'm so proud of all of us #Survivors
Wow! This is a really heartfelt story! So sad! I went through similar experiences with family and family friends! I hate it! That's why I was so over protective to my son!
Lady, your amazing. And I appreciate your bringing your culture to the table. I have moved to Latin America and this will help me as I do my volunteer work here. And you are beautiful in the way you understand what sex is. I hope you are feeling a sound, safe and healthy intimacy with your spouse.
Yes, as a Puerto Rican woman, I agree that knowing the culture is very important.
She had the courage to tell her parents and her parents loved her dearly you are so strong ❤
I'm struggling 😔 healing it jus hit me my PTSD, trauma, blah blah..but let's go I have a life to live
You are awesome! What a great advocate, thank you for sharing...and know that you are making a difference bcz you refuse to be silenced!!!! SCREAM it from the roof tops if you must but, don't be silent. You are special and beautiful,
#LETYOURLIGHTSHINE
She's amazing and so strong! I felt so much love for her!
You are a beautiful woman~ you are SO strong to have endured this and still be here, with us. 💗❤️
Thank you for sharing, it's really okay to open up and allow us to support you in healing ❤
You are a brave and beautiful soul. It's terrible that this is very common in families and often the adults turn a blind eye. It's disgusting. It's hard to trust ppl, family, babysitters, etc with your children.
She has told my story for me!!!!! 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Me too 😢
My cousin did it to me and another family member when we were 7 and 9, and he was 14 and 15. When we came forward, no one believed us. I can't believe other people were sexually abused by teenage family members like we were.
Thank YOU !!!
LOVE and best wishes for you !!!
Stay safe!!!
You are a true hero for speaking up about this!!!!
Thank You!!!💜💜💜
This was a beautiful encouraging interview. 🙏🏽❤️
Your words resonate so deeply in me. I have so many similar feelings. Innocence lost. I used to laugh at the phrase. You help me realize how in denial I still am, after all these years. Thank you for your candid truth and sharing of self knowledge. You are amazing. I honor you.
You are so very insightful. Best wishes to you and your children and the rest of your life! ♥️ So sweet. Your husband is one in a million.
Your words are powerful! Many blessing
Thank you for sharing your story I'm also a survivor with major mental health issues but I'm trying to learn how to heal from it all
The biggest fallacy.....'things happen for a reason'.
Thank you for sharing your story ~
She is pretty.
Very well said! So much of this is true for me too except I was a "prude" and didn't want to be sexually active. People talk more about girls being promiscuous. It affects the child all through their young and old years and therapy helps, but you are still wounded! It is difficult to watch shows like this and stir up the memories. After 7 years volunteering at the rape center-to try to heal my young self-I sometimes think of volunteering again now that my kids are raised. I know I have to be ready to help them and take care of me. You have helped a lot of people by sharing your story and insight here. Thank you! Take care.
thank you
The pattern: tear you down then build you up, build you up then tear you down, making your self worth depend on the abusers perception.
Amazing women of GOD!
Wonderfull Woman inspire me my sister and niece,I have always kept an eye and earsis on my sisters boyfriends over the years!
Thank you this is so true
I totally agree that those abuses should be made visible, and after that be treated and avoided through education and protection of our future generatiins.
Thank u so much for sharing your story and i hooe u will heal completely.
You can hear the pain in her voice. You are beautiful love. ❤️
I noticed Most families have problems talking about problems.
Never trust others with your kids guys. PLEASE LISTEN. I don’t even leave my dogs with others unless there is a 24/7 cam at the home or facility. It’s the people that are closest and we trust that will hurt you the most. It’s so weird how many times growing up I was in danger and I wasn’t even aware until I’m older now. Everyone knows of a person that has been violated.
You are very strong and God heals
Its crazy how much our family's are the same 💔
very brave girl, awesome that you shared your story, Sylvia awesome that girls get to tell their stories nowadays stay brave!!!
Sylvia, you tell your story far and wide. You know to protect your children from unfortunately what you went through. That ripple effect will have a great impact on this world. This pigman should never be allowed to produce an erection ever again. I believe chemical or physical castration, as well as complete isolation from any human for his natural life span would only just skim the surface of what sort of punishment he should receive. The monster is on the loose and needing to fulfill his messed up perversions. I pray he is somehow stopped from inflicting this pain on any other children. Your "culture" needs to change, and that change starts with you. Please please please share your story far and wide, speak loud, and never ever be ashamed or feel tainted. You are beautiful and strong, and your advocacy will shine as bright as your spirit.
Thanks for sharing.....
You're beautiful. I am sad this happened to you.Thank you for telling your story.My youngest girl molested by my oldest girls husband.
Please get her help, let her know it's not her fault, and that you believe her.
I heard a woman tell me when she was 42 yrs old, the same happened to her when she was 16yrs old. I kind of brushed it off at the time, because I thought integrally she was ok. Support I believe is the only thing these survivors need. Listening too.
I do believe things happen for a reason, even this horrific stuff. Doesn't mean it's ok, what happened to you, to any of us...but I am grateful for the abuse I endured for 14 years. It has made me stronger, it has taught me things about people, myself, God...and my marriage is so sweet and I'm so much more grateful for the healthiness and the depth of love we share than if I might have if I hadn't gone through what I'd gone through.
I'm praying for you~ you're an amazing survivor!!!!
I have known several Latina women who have told me this is "normal" in their society. I have known two who were repeatedly raped by family members and told by other (female) family members to keep their mouths shut about it, they were nothing special to have had this happen, it happened to those women too and they didn't cause a scene themselves so to shut up about it.
They had sex ed in my elementary school because I remember my stepfather telling my mom to not let me go and I realized later that he didn't want me to figure out what he was doing to us was wrong
Shocking, truly awful.
You are doing so, so well.
Just as you say, these incidences must be spoken about ..... victims must shout out and the perpetrator needs to know they will be found out
What a beautiful soul ❤️
I feel for all these victims.... they seem to still blame themselves even as adults. Hopefully they’re in some type of therapy
I believe that this will help so many people. But I don't believe everything that happens, happen For a Reason. Bad things happens because of sin. That is the reason. But we can use the bad experience to do good and learn from it and to grow from it.
Appreciate what you have had to say. Your so right about the hispanic culture
Hispanic families when I sometimes deal with its very dysfunctional lie when the truth comes out people don't want to realize that it is the truth and it's been there in front of them some of them even knew the truth about what what's going on and it's really sad because now in my case when I talk about it then that would comes at allegedly allegedly he did that allegedly they still cannot absorb the idea that they had a predator in the family so congratulations
This isn’t a hispanic family thing
Thank you for recognizing one HUGE difference between American and Hispanic cultures. Most of us won’t admit it, and unfortunately thats what helps perpetuate it.
You sweet baby girl. This is so true and heart breaking. These abusers need their behind beat. Instead of talking to him so he can deny and reject you again. A group of men should strap him down and cane him for a day, at least an hour. Then tell him we are watching so you had better not think of doing it again. Instead we allow them to walk away because they are a family member and continue to abuse uninterrupted. Beat his a-- and watch him.
God Bless you
Eso no fue tu culpa. Dios te bendiga, eres una gran mujer y estoy segura de que eres una buena madre!
Sylvia you are a beautiful person. Your cousin is a criminal evil person. So you go on and live a beautiful life. People like that exist unfortunately they are the smaller percentage of mankind BUT you are a great, sane and social person. You are a HEROIN for coming forward which will help so many people to not allow this type of abuse.
I don't know you, but I love you. Thank you so much for your story.
Thank you for sharing. It helps everyone become human and find compassion for hurting people of every race, culture, and traditions connected with woman abuse. Generation and generations of cycle. I'm glad I broke that cycle that my grandchildren shall never! ! Never! ! Endure what i went through. I conquered by the power of Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. And so will you through the salvation of Jesus. In Jesus name amen
It's not the schools job It's parents job to teach children to teach children about predators.
I'm so incredibly sorry you went through that. I appreciate your sharing such deep wounds.
I don't agree that things like that happen for a reason.
There can never be a reason to sexually abuse a child or ever try to rationalise that in any way.
It is a depraved and despicably evil thing to do.
You're also not here to serve your husband. You help him but do not serve. You're a queen not a servant.
God bless you and hold you in his loving care always ❤️
God Bless you, my dear!
God bless you
You're a brave beautiful lady.
Who edit this?
I wonder when and where the world's problems with sexual issues began.
That is a really good question. Family wise it happened in the Bible, where Tamara's half brother raped and discarded her. No she wasn't a little girl, but he was a family member.
@@vickiepaul8258 that was a sad story.
Me too am a survivor 😩
i was molested at 13 by a cousin. It went on for years and just the thought that I would be seeing him would send me spiraling down emotionally. By that time I was labeled troublesome because I wouldn't let myself be alone with him. I told my mother when I was about 45. She was concerned that it might have been my dad. It wasn't , he was the best father. He had passed over 15 years before this. My mom told me that she thought that was how you learned about sex. Do we see a pattern here?
This cousin, I later found out, was the product of incest. Evidently a few great-uncles would molest the young girls in the family. I have since found other distant relatives that had similar issues. I believe that this horrible molestation trend has something to do with genetics. We all have free will and each person is responsible for their actions. What they have done to generations of young girls is absolutely devastating. I have been in therapy for 20 years. I can't function without anti-depressants. There seems to be no light at the end of my tunnel. I'm 58 and single. Relationships are difficult. Thank you Sylvia for sharing your story.
Oh, he did it again, for sure. But that is not YOUR burden, that is HIS!
I think parents should be educated about these kind of stuff , it happens so often
You are breave to tell your story it's somthing talk in Native American community also.So I understand why talk about your abuse until you got older. Thank you for sharing your story.
God bl s you my sister.
I salute you Queen! I know the feeling.. you are as beautiful as they come.. one day at a time..💪🏾
I would like see more education about male and female sexuality and sexual development directed at young men and boys. It seems that young men are confused about a healthy masculinity and a toxic one which causes so much damage, especially in cultures where male and female roles are stereotyped. This must change!!!!!
They are getting such from chit chat, pornography and indirect communication. No wonder the wires are crossed.. And it is not just the males fault. There is an old saying. 'nip IT" in the bud'. That is not happening. Child Abuse is very lucrative business for the judges, lawyers police, psychologists, psychiatrists, magazines agencies and on and on it goes while the innocent suffer for a lifetime too long.
I would never have told her that she is ugly because that is not true. Furthermore, it would be sick to do so.