DIABLO 3 (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
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This week, Zero Punctiaion reviews Blizzard's latest click-fest Diablo 3.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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"If any game company is likely secretly headed by a James Bond villain" ... how prescient.
I'd say EA, but they're openly headed by Francisco Scaramanga.
Even worse after their Warcraft 3 reforged bungle.
If Blizzard is Spectre then EA would be Cyberdyne While Bethesda would be Weyland-Yutani.
@@dastvan8002 So who is umbrella?
@@willowarkan2263 cdpr?
THE MOST SPLENDID PANTS OF THEM ALL
My quest in Diablo III has been 'Find a hat that doesn't look stupid on me'. So far, the closest I've come is dying a bunch of rocks that float around my head purple. Yes. That's the least stupid option.
trouser, pants are for suckers
Because trousers is how English people say it and so it sounds funny, like when they call Hamburgers a 'Beef Wellington Ensemble with Lettuce'.
Because Pants are an armor item in Diablo III; thus the quest for the most splendid pants of them all.
Genrich Toews Yahtzee said "THE MOST SPLENDID TROUSERS", not pants
4:32, trousers, suck it
Considering that Blizzard is just a skin being worn by Act*vision these days, Yahtzee's prediction at 04:16 is eerily accurate.
Don't you know? Yahtzee hes a superpower that lets him know things. It was mentioned in several episodes, you filthy filthy casual!
( note: this is an overreaction for Comic effect. Obviously. If I wanted to hart you I'd send an assassin. So... what would you want your last words to be?)
They apparently did that shit BEFORE the merger too
I “recently” got into diablo, and I’m currently trying to collect the op sets for the necromancer. And for each one the last piece I got was the pants. And each time it took twice as long to get the pants as every other piece. So this really hit home
Mods
2:28 / 3:50
Oh God, I would totally follow the adventures of a giant tarantula that sounds like a thuggish east end dock worker. XD
I'd totally watch a sitcom about a working-class giant tarantula, a big zombie named Nigel and a trio of suicide-bombing dogs.
"Alright loves"!
Or a book about a dock worker who's transformed into a giant tarantula and forced to travel with a giant buck toothed zombie named Nigel in order to stop an evil necromancer from instigating a massive giant spider invasion,and along the way they pick up a trio of supernatural dogs that can explode and regenerate instantly afterwards
It's been a while but considering how many likes this comment got,I'm honestly considering writing up something like this
Sounds hilarious
" three puppies strategially humping legs thruought the enemy crowd, it's pretty much groin focused carpet bombing " I LOL'd so hard
"Between me, increasingly numerous baddies, the kamikaze triplets, a big zombie called Nigel and a giant spider with a flatcap and a pipewrench..." is where I lose it. Too damn funny.
I was just playing the Xbox version with a friend, and it's actually quite nice. Then again, I do like dungeon crawlers and within a few levels, I became the most OP bow master of them all. At level 5, I believe, as a demon hunter, you unlock this ability that fires multiple arrows in a sort of machine gun-esque style. Now, it wastes points of "Hatred", a kind of energy that Demon Hunters apparently have. But it was so flipping trivial because "Hatred" apparently replenishes quicker than my healing trousers healed my wounds! So I'd stand off to the side of the screen, pull out the ol' machine gun crossbows, and fire volley after volley into the oncoming hoard and what should have been a challenge became a game of hunting fish in a barrel! I never got hit, all the monsters were crushed by my arrow onslaught, and I kept getting all the good trousers! It was fun, in a mindless sort of way. But the fact that my Hatred replenished so fast makes me think my character had some latent hostilities she needs counselling for.
You just described my own experience with this game verbatim.
I love how he made everything in the game revolve around collecting a veritable cornucopia of all pants. One of my favorite youtube critics.
Hi, I'm from the future, and can tell you that his PUBG review also noted that every drop item he received were also trousers. T R O U S E R S, you filthy colonial
Diablo 3, plot wise, is basically missing the forest for the trees in a completely different forest made of inferior pants.
*****
I didn't think it was that bad, but it wasn't awesome either.
For one the witch doctor is no necromancer and I pretty much only played necromancer in D2.
4:52-5:03 Hey, he just described Beyond two souls.
Not only that, but someone actually DID write such a book as he describes. It's called "The Unfortunates" and was written by B.S. Johnson in 1969. With the exception of the last and first 3 chapters, the book is unbound and the chapters can be read in any order. Surely enough, nothing much happens throughout the book, but whether or not it is actually a boring book is a far more divisive matter.
I thought I had forgotten I'd played that game.... shit
I rapidly aged as I realized this video is 10 years old.
Me and my friend play this on the PS4. She named her giant voodoo zombie "Baby Legs". Between her 4-5 zombie dogs, army of fetishes, Baby Legs, the occasional giant man-eating toad, and my wolf, it really was an amazing clusterfuck of stuff on the screen. Half the time we outnumbered the groups of enemies we encountered.
You know. Basically what the game always should have been.
Can you add me on psn? My I'd is pizzaandmeth,we could play together perhaps
me and a friend had pretty much the same, but i also had the marauder set which summons all your pets (demon hunter) so we outnumbered pretty much everything
You fail to see the joy of the too many particles wizard... Or the infinite ammohack demon hunter
Cool character pfp, wheres "he"/it from?
There's a passive skill that let's you have a doll army just by attacking.
Also, witch doctor has a ton of "automatic" skills. The locust swarm for example.
If Blizzard is a James Bond villain than Activision would be a 60's supervillain
Uh has the joke that Blizzard is run by a James Bond villain now aged well or badly?!
I'd say it's aged like a fine wine considering all the shit that's has happened between the release of diablo 3 to now.
Actually it didn't age that well......
Because Turns out ActiBlizz was instead run by a Persona 5 Antagonist
I just wrote a giant comment about how i like the monks punching and how op the demon hunter is then hit tab and enter to organise it all and ten minutes work is gone
bibbly bobbly Just think, squashed faces, everyone falling over because of arrow wounds after being in the room for 10 secs. look up some emotional stuff like, too the moon, the beginners guide or the first boss of undertale when you realised you did it wrong. and there you go, the comment in a nutshell.
Yahtzee was on point about randomly generated levels 10 years ago - why didn't you listen, game developers?!
Oh god, Diablo 3 was 10 years ago?
What ended up killing my interest in this game was when i was fighting Diablo himself with a monk and i was standing still the entire time, not even bothering to move or use a potion. Games like Monster Hunter and Dark Souls kinda ruined me on these games.
3:45 - 3:52 For some reason, this line utterly took me out and left me laughing on my bed for five minutes until my stomach hurt and my mum came in to ask what was so funny.
It's rather rare to see someone who cares for others' income as you. Props to you.
I love the intro to this review because it really illustrates how Yahtzee gets into the stories if the games he plays in much the same way I do.
Never played this one because of the online requirement. I loved the first two.
Well clearly you have an internet connection, so not sure why that's a problem. You don't have to play multiplayer
Error01 or I have a smart phone. Or am just not interested in games that require Internet just to play it. This excludes the obvious exceptions of online multiplayer games.
You have to PAY for the game is his(her) problem, i think.
Ahh i see. I havent played D3 in forever just because it's kind of boring, so I forgot that it had an online requirement
Error01 Yeah, unlike other RPGs it doesn't have much options in what to wear, really. I really hate the set system in D3. The action part is good in it, tho.
I think he means primarily that if you rearrange the pages in a bad book, it doesn't make the book any better. Thus, rearranging the rooms in a bad level, doesn't make the level any better. You're just putting them in different places.
You can turn on Elective Mode which allows you to put any skill on any button or key. That way you don't have to choose between your dogs and scary run away spells, you can have both.
+Dustin Matos Conveniently hidden away by menu options, like the actual damage descriptions, dmg output and more.
It was something that really baffled me. It's all very intuitive and simple, locking it away behind menu options seems quite ridiculous. The "damage" formulas are all very very simple too. X% weapon damage added.
Without it deciding between the main left button one with the description of "hit thing, hit thing and shield buff, hit thing and maybe have some magic damage too" is quite confusing.
It's good you can do it, but it's bad design to have it locked by default (considering you always start with the page with the "intended" skills for each button, so you are already encouraged to pick them starting out).
Totally agree man. I thought the same thing
the boss imp vomiting pants...always gets me
How to win Diablo 3
step #1: get a ranged class
#2: bind all beam/aoe abilities and screw the others
#3: take all "pierce through enemy" attack upgrades
#4:???
#5: profit
Rigel_6
1. Find freezing AOE power
2. Use as constantly
3. Recieve pants
4.?????
5. Profit
Step 4 is "Sell loot in auction house"
This was the first game I bought for the Switch, and I'm having loads of fun with it replaying it while home, sick. Just finished a run as a Crusader and started a run as a Witch Doctor (although my fave's the Necromancer).
Ah, how I miss the old Diablo II times.
Now that was one hell of a good game.
I know this amounts to necromancy, but: It is still one of the best Hack 'n' Slay games ever made.
Hurrah a reference to Southend and genuinely causing the laughter of the audible variety! Well done!:)
did niko bellic live out the american dream
did solid snake die of hypothermia on shadow moses
timebomb456 did the people in Valkyriea chronicles ever defeat gaydolf shmitler chancellor of Bermany?
Is Eric Sparrow rich and famous?
timebomb456 Did Artyom ever escape the Metro?
Did the Combine destroy the resistance with their new portal technology?
Did the settlements of the Commonwealth live happily ever after with no problems whatsoever?
Nappa didn't think throwing spiders was juvenile, he was glad nobody had thought of it on any of the planets he invaded and frankly I can see where he's coming from with that.
I love D3, this is still totally true and hilarious
Sort of, cept you can't nick people's trousers.
I just beat it and the ending was meh for me
Hello this is 4 years later. I'm curious, do you still love D3? Has it managed to keep you coming back? Because it lost me after a couple of months but I still play D2 from time to time.
I ran a website during D3 release. I advertised a release stream. It did not work on release. I played it the next day. I literally fell asleep during act 3. Tried it again last year because everybody said it had improved; *it hadn't* . Now all you do is run dungeons constantly and recycle loot with no story at all whatsoever; but the story was pretty lame to begin with.
Redmar Kerkhof It does still keep me coming back, even now. Not because of the story, because you can totally skip it for a grind-for-loot-athon to get cooler and better builds that change up a bit every season.
i like how he talks about the bad skill combinations for three minutes without having even looked at the "controls" tab in the options menu.
hint: you can rearrange them
I've seen so many bloody Zero Punctuation videos that now I hear everything I read in Yahtzee's voice.
Wikipedia's article on cashews is now a billion-times more amazing...
4:53 there is a book like that Yahtzee, it is called Naked Lunch. You try to make sense of the plot, the whole world seems to not be able to and no-one can even tell what is happening when it is happening.
Yea a lot of people are pissed about the D3 being "Always Online", Path of Exile is free to play and more challenging
You have so many F2P games like Diablo that its ridiculous, It was just as big IF not bigger flop then SimCity because the servers are unstable and in 10y we won't be able to play it again, so pretty much you buy something, then its only yours for as long as the servers supports it
And let me ask everyone how many games did you buy and then within 2-3y servers got shut down and now your stuck with a Coaster for your drinks
yes.that is why i keep Skyrim and Dragonage origins always on disc,in case world ends by collapse of internet.and also 4 bottles of whiskey
devilsmessanger Smart move my friend
A very profitable flop
True, but you can always mod D3 to be offline.
And also, Diablo II is still online after all these years, so I don't imagine D3 will go out anytime soon.
correction: any mouse or key number can be assigned any action. It was not intuitive, but doable in game.
It was perfectly intuitive, I think my big attack should be 4 instead of my heal being 4, it's the only reason the game is intuitive.
forget Diablo 3, i want to play a game about that spider.
It's called spider ps1 scientist mind trapped in cybernetic spider amazing classic
I don't know why the "burly spider dockworker" is making me laugh so much
Diablo 2 was the best, it didn't only have caves and dungeons but open worlds
So does 3
*game ever
I'm glad I'm not the only person that names his summons in this kind of game.
i wonder what happened to yahtzee in his childhood to make him associate playing the drums with data entry
True story. Drums are all muscle memory and routine. Not necessarily the drum beat to any particular song but the act of drumming. Learning to operate all limbs independent from one another is all about repetition.
*Flame shield already up with Infernal helm, Triple star, Holy circlet, firaga ring(Accesories from kingdom hearts), and Chocolate milk attack (Binding of isaac)* You were saying?
Jokes on you. You don't lose those trousers with other players in. It's all individual.
Otherwise known as "client side".
So much better that way.
not at the time of its review
Alas, that only works if you’re playing online co-op. Couch co-op (at least on XBox 360) loot is first-come, first-served.
Which is why my two friends and I run our couch co-op game as a Barbarian/Demon Hunter/Witch Doctor trio. I get all the the Strength boosting gear, my roommate gets the Dex boosts, Ashleigh gets the Int boosts.
That running trouser joke made me lol
I actually didn't die till I got to heaven
That's funny. Most people can't get to heaven until after they die.
I forgot this was a Diablo thing at first
Hardest content they ever released was 0 lights in the dark from ulduar. I was one of the people attempting it around the time of ulduar/ToC and going from 1 light to 0 lights was insanity.
I played this as a monk on the hardest difficulty I could from the start, struggled a little for the first few levels, then proceeded to grind down literally anything within a short distance from me. Not even bosses stood up to me. I've stopped at act 4, the 'highest' point of the story, because it was so fucking boring. Even if I tried new skills they were all so powerful it meant nothing. I never got past act 2 in diablo 2, that game was a challenge.
+No3000Way
so it ends up a lot like the monk in baldur's gate on core game rules.....but legacy of bhaal difficulty is god damn ridiculous!
I played games similar to the diablo series (torchlight 2, baldur's gate dark alliance and the original series) and for more current.....dead island with john morgan (he is basically a monk where "quivering palm" is actually his uppercut with the OP life drain and running kick!)
Wut? Diablo 2 is hella easy, especially if it's your character's first playthrough(Because you can't choose hard diffs). "Zu-el" mod helps, if you want a harder game, tho.
I don't know about Monk specifically, but Diablo 3 is hard on the hardest diff you currently have most of the time.
I agree about the boring story, tho.
***** you can say that about any and every game, its all building you up for the 'endgame' experience. whether thats more content or just the ending isnt important. imo the journey to the end is just as importnant
No3000Way that "build to the endgame" is supposed to be a "plot" or "STORY"
***** very necessarily (heh, just going for a bit of fun is all)
I swear I could watch these videos for days
Diablo 3 is great... without lag... and with friends.
Paul Staker So... never?
ladenswallow09
I played D3 on 360 with 3 of my mates.
It was a blast.
Paul Staker So a graphical update for d2
Herschel Johnson no, D2 was actually good
4:20 was this before they merged with activision because if it was apparently Yahtzee should add mystic to the start of his name.
Benjamin Mystic “Yahtzee” Croshaw
he should do path of exile
You dont have to be limited to the categories for your 1-4 abilities. You go into the settings and turn on elective mode. You can put any ability in ANY slot,.
Yahtzee reviews Hopscotch by Julio Cortazar....
Harry Stoddard
i don't get it :P
***** Yahtzee reviews Naked Lunch by William S Burroughs.
Yahtzee reviews The Original of Laura and Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov.
His statement from 3:44 to 3:57 always cracks me up.
LOL Wow's Action bars quickly turning into piano keyboards xDD So true!!
Tell me about it!!!
Let me just hook up the ol' keyboard here
In case you still didn't know he did make games. He created the "Chzo Mytho" Point and Click Game series such as 7 day a Skeptic, 5 Days a Stranger, Trilby's Notes, etc.
Your take on these "Hack 'n Slash" or "Clickfest" games seems to be the same as mine, Dungeon Crawlers can be a lot of fun however if done right. I tend to like the japanese ones that mix RPG, Visual Novel and Dungeon Crawling in with Turn Based Combat.
Needless to say, Diablo 2 was a bit better than 3, and Path of Exile was in my opinion better than both of these, but i still got bored of it and quit before i got very far.
You should try Path of Exile again, it's soo much better now
0:18
Hey, that only happened once! Just because we had to go to the emergency room to get it out doesn't mean anything!
This is kind of why I hate Blizzard. They've basically boiled down any genre they've made a game into its elemental components. You can say there's story, but it becomes increasingly vestigial to the gameplay. They just want to provide different colored Skinner boxes. They don't care how well it's crafted as long as you just keep mindlessly clicking along.
Just FYI you can change the limited abilitys for each key in the option menu
"Each (key) is assigned a specific category of attacks.." you can turn that off in settings... O.O
I only want to point out something wrong which is - you're free to assign the spells you get to any keybind. Though it's hidden in the settings. Which I had to crawl online to find. Not long before I quit.
You do know you can reassign the primary attack, right?
5:08
The bit about the chapters of a book being jumbled up in the wrong order reminded me of Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale". :)
"... and my hand got all sweaty from the heat coming off my faithful old laptop, as it endeavoured to run the game at full resolution without exploding into flames."
Uhhh... My laptop can run D3 in 1920x1200, and drive two other monitors at the same time, and it's a crappy 2012 i5 laptop.
What the fuck kind of budget were you on, and how the fuck did you afford bread and water?! xD
I hereby vow on my life that I will one day use the phrase "industrial aplomb" in casual conversation
Diablow 3 sucked horribly in its game play design. Diablo 1, 2, and Throne of Baal put this sequel to shame.
Yes, I knew about the audio degradation, and I DO see a difference when switching from 240p to 360p, but after the other ones all have the same audio quality of 360p.
Are you going to review the Diablo Immortals mobile game?
"Limitless quantities of inferior pants" would be a good name for a band.
just to see how overly complicated this game is on the PC as opposed to how fun and simple it is on my PS4 makes me concerned on how delusional the "PC Masterrace" really is
imo games shouldnt be simple. i love games hard, complicated and unforgiving. might just be me though
***** thats what games are made for... IMO. not playing games to watch a movie with quick time events :D
gr8 b8 m8
Wolfguy18 have fun still not getting laid
lol
I got bored in class and scrolled down to 10000 in Excel and wrote "The most splendid trousers of them all"
Never played Diablo 2????? Respect level declining...
Who needs Diablo, if you played Baldur's Gate? Well, still, i like D2
No, he said he did not play *through* the first two games, not that he did not play them ;)
he reviews games with perfection. that last part had me
He bashed this game for all the wrong reasons. What a scrub.
My thoughts exactly.
Carson T PFFT. Fanboys.
GarlicPudding Try "error 37"
Well, he rags on the randomly generated dungeons, but those are one of the core features of Diablo. That's like saying SSBB isn't a good game because you can only move in two dimensions. That's just how it is. Anyway, I think the most frustrating part for a long time diablo player was the way Blizzard just sheared off all ability to customize in several different ways. It went from having 7 classes to choose from down to 4. Not to mention it basically chooses your attacks for you. Ultimately, I think it sucked because Blizzard was trying to make a console game for PC, that was then later ported to consoles, when it should have been a PC game plain and simple.
Carson T And Call Of Duty: Ghost's selling point was it's new story, *BUT LOOK WHERE THAT WENT.* He's not bashing on it for being there, he's bashing on it for being poorly done.
There is no sleep, there is only Yahtzee.
I remember it being something like "Killing Jason Voorhees in a scrapyard, over and over again." but both quotes are equally true
there is one game that random room work, Dark Cloud. it worked because the story had you return often enough that you actually noticed the difference and the story was actually good with it because of the not random over-world where set pieces could occur, but even in the dungeons sory could take place because not every dungeon was random and even the ones that were could tie short cut sceens at the beginning or end to keep the plot occurring while playing
I did notice that Yahtzee didn't mention anything about the plot, but once i got through the game myself i noticed that what plot was there was minimal and not all that great. Then again Diablo has always been about fantastic graphics and the usual grind, which i happen to like, so it all levels out :D
0:24-0:55 sounds familiar. That particular discussion was used as a plot point in a book I read recently. It was called Mogworld. I wonder if it's a coincidence.
Umm, just so you know, there is an option that gives you more details on skills and allows you to swap skills so you can put whatever spell you want to whatever button you want in whatever combination you want :D
It really is a shame that Blizzard doesn't turn on Elective Mode and Advanced Tooltips automatically. That always seems to confuse newer players.
Appropriate that the ad for the console version of D3 played before this video xD
I am convinced that the adventure time episode dungeon train references this episode. The whole episode itself if a rip on MMORGPs, but there is a scene where Jake disinterestedly steals a pair of pants from an enemy and wears them for the rest of the episode
Revisiting D3 6 years after launch and it has really improved since it's initial broken state.
I was just making a point that between shirts and trousers you find a lot more trousers.
That last joke killed me.
Well when considering randomly generated levels, think of opening a board of monopoly to find all of the properties randomly strewn about, and all the names and colors taken from a random pool.
While many say it's mostly the same and it makes meta strategys nearly impossible, the prospect of never quite knowing what your in for, and having the sense of discovering something new each time is much more rewarding then going in with the same assets and mindset each time. I guess the same could go for Ocarina of Time, or Fallout 3 where something new and extraordinary is just waiting for you to come across it, and that the developers are never going to settle for giving you less.
3:51 there is just something absolutely hilarious about that picture.
*scrolls down to see what other videos there are after watching this one* all zero punctuation...I...AM...IN...HEAVEN!
this night is the best night of my life.
I love how I used the same exact strategy he described to get through my first playthrough in Diablo 3.
I'm really interested in getting Diablo 3 on the PS3, but I'm kind of on the fence right now. So I was wondering- can anyone answer a few questions for me?
- Is this a story based game? Is there plenty of story, with plot points sprinkled about? Or is it just kill kill kill, then grab some new pants?
- Do you need to use the online auction to get anything decent, or will it pop up in regular gameplay?
- Do I need to play Diablo 1 and 2 to figure out the story?
If anyone can help, it'd great.
not the spider part, the toast one
I keep giggling at the image of the spiders, particularly the dock worker one
After watching this video, I believe Jonathan Coultons song "Mr. Fancy Pants" is about Diablo.
If it was really important to you, there were items that increased your light radius. most people would rather have a useful item instead of one that ruined the atmosphere but the option was there.
"Veritable corduroycopia of old pants."
Greatest pun I've ever come across.
I read your comment in Yahzees voice O_O and you have a valid point here