Ellen DeGeneres - Here & Now [Part 1/4]

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  • Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
  • Ellen's HBO Comedy Special "Here & Now"
    Part 1/4
    [2003]

КОМЕНТАРІ • 226

  • @DiminishedAC
    @DiminishedAC 12 років тому +5

    Waitress: "I have a problem with procrastinating too!"
    Ellen: "Really? Go get my sandwich."
    Cracks me up every time...

  • @frostyh81
    @frostyh81 11 років тому +6

    i tell ya, there is hardly anything better than sitting down at your computer with some yummy food and refreshing water, wearing comfortable clothing and just relaxing watching an Ellen standup vid.
    If the weather outiside is cloudy, windy and rainy then it makes this moment that much more cozy.

  • @nince021
    @nince021 11 років тому +4

    I'm not gay but I have a huge girl-crush on Ellen. The woman just gets more adorable and gorgeous the older she gets.

  • @Rosebud331
    @Rosebud331 12 років тому +3

    "When I was a kid we just had crazy people, that's all, just crazy people." xD

  • @janinejolaine
    @janinejolaine 13 років тому +3

    This never gets old ! I watch whenever i need to cheer up , Ellenn Degeneres is simply amazingggg !

  • @OhDannyBoy512
    @OhDannyBoy512 13 років тому +2

    Ellen is beautiful and very entertaining :D "We're all gay." XD I exploded with laughter and saliva went all over my screen. I honestly thought she was going to say "We're all human." XD And the newscasters' emotional changes XD Hilarious :D

  • @malibudogtraining
    @malibudogtraining 12 років тому +3

    OMG it's 5 hrs later and I'm still watching ELLEN!!!!!!!!! LOVE-HER!

  • @Luara-wax
    @Luara-wax 5 років тому +1

    Comparing this now with relatable I see how you mood change with the age to make others to laugh 😆

  • @InEvry1ThereIsBeauty
    @InEvry1ThereIsBeauty 12 років тому +2

    "There they are, five of em" LOL Oh man. she's hilarious!!!

  • @In0tuhTR3KKi3
    @In0tuhTR3KKi3 12 років тому +2

    I love this. Just because everything she says is so true!

  • @betod322
    @betod322 11 років тому +1

    It's kinda hard for me to watch stand up comedy but I can watch this everytime Ellen is so hilarious!! Nancy Nancy that's not Nancy! lol

  • @InEvry1ThereIsBeauty
    @InEvry1ThereIsBeauty 12 років тому +1

    @pailarglaxunga Oh my gosh, I couldn't stop laughing or pick one part! The whole thing is so freakin funny!!! I love Ellen!!

  • @tevinmusiq
    @tevinmusiq 12 років тому +1

    Waitress: I have a problem with procrastination too!
    Ellen: Really?! Get ma' sandwich.
    HAHAAA!

  • @DonnieFanDarko
    @DonnieFanDarko 12 років тому +1

    I'm in a bad mood so I turn to you Ellen and you always make me happy! Thanks for uploading this!

  • @souleaterisAWESOM10
    @souleaterisAWESOM10 12 років тому +1

    lol!!!!! I LOVE ellens comedy bits and this is really good picture. Thatnks for posting it!!!!

  • @Afrodytee
    @Afrodytee 12 років тому +2

    I can never stop watching this! Ellen is hilarious!

  • @Farnsworth96
    @Farnsworth96 12 років тому +1

    "Is it peas?" XD Thumb up if you replayed that at all

  • @thenameisethang
    @thenameisethang 11 років тому +1

    It really wasn't necessary to tell us you aren't gay. No one thinks you're gay because you think Ellen is funny. No one even cares whether you are or not. It doesn't matter.

  • @janistransbian
    @janistransbian 11 років тому +1

    i refuse to show sympathy for newscastors. that is where i draw the line at sympathy.

    • @stefandieter4044
      @stefandieter4044 2 роки тому

      Hello there. how's it going with you over there?

  • @frostyh81
    @frostyh81 12 років тому +1

    you've thought about, you have tendencies ;P

  • @yourmidnights13
    @yourmidnights13 10 років тому +3

    kate mckinnon was there

  • @mjmk779
    @mjmk779 12 років тому +1

    I'm all the time like "Ellen, when do you get that wig off?"

  • @TheKaiStuff
    @TheKaiStuff 13 років тому +1

    She is the most amazing person ever!

  • @inesandradechannel
    @inesandradechannel 12 років тому +1

    "And I don't have to go right now"

  • @ChhandakMukherjee22
    @ChhandakMukherjee22 9 років тому +2

    Ellen I am not your fan.. may be an air conditioner. God bless you ...

  • @diceomo48
    @diceomo48 11 років тому +1

    Translation
    Ellen : Thank You!
    Real Life : SHUT THE HELL UP CLAPPING!!!

  • @ParArdua
    @ParArdua 3 роки тому

    ** Hello to ForLifeIsTooShort, wherever she be **
    You made the most beautiful gay-friendly pages devoted to Ellen over a decade ago.
    You put so much work into it, and it helped many people across the planet, even when they continually suspended you, and then ruined the whole UA-cam communication experience.
    I hope you got through your studies, and are happy with your life.
    The world is much different now, but I think of you from time to time, and some of the amazing discussions that occurred on your page.
    Just to say "Thank you", and my warmest wishes for a happy life,
    Denise,
    Western Australia x

  • @iretei93
    @iretei93 13 років тому +1

    Seriously, i can't watch this at while at school!

  • @Zhulingli
    @Zhulingli 12 років тому

    Sorry I'm french and I'm trying to make subtitles of this for some friends of mine but there are some things I don't understand :/
    Like at 02:27 she says something like "you have to have things your way and you won't go back down" ? what does this mean ?
    And also at 04:13 "I'm stoling" ? is that what she says ?
    It would be very nice if someone could help me please !
    Thank you !
    By the way : Ellen is really awesome ! :)

  • @rosss1959
    @rosss1959 12 років тому

    14:00 mark. (it could be the deadliest thing in the world and you may be having it for dinner). How ironic. I was looking at the local news tonight. They were talking about Venus passing by the sun. the guy said, "it'll be occuring throughout afternoon, we advise you not to stare directly at the sun however We'll tell you how you can safely view it, TONIGHT AT 10!' lol

  • @MultiRach123
    @MultiRach123 12 років тому

    I'm sorry but please re-read my last comment. Did i say "No one should hate anybody for any reason what so ever!"? no i did not. People who live by their own assumptions wont go far.. And your just admitting that you actually use ur time watching someone who "hate" or "dislike". Go out and have a taste of reality please!

  • @ArtIsMyVoice
    @ArtIsMyVoice 11 років тому +2

    ELLEN IS OUR LEADER!!!!!

  • @KraXoom
    @KraXoom 12 років тому +1

    "Really? Get my sandwich." DEAD

  • @saimaakter1078
    @saimaakter1078 12 років тому

    I finished watching the whole thing and I lost count of how many times i died. WARNING: watching this may cause you to lose breath and your abs might hurt from laughing. BE CAREFUL, U might even die from laughter. K enjoy. lol

  • @MichaelDelugg
    @MichaelDelugg 12 років тому

    "...it could be the most deadly thing in the world and you're having it for dinner. We'll tell you what it is tonight at 11." Now THAT'S FUNNY!! Ok, the whole thing is really great. Thanks Ellen; I needed that!

  • @DRAWandMORExD
    @DRAWandMORExD 12 років тому

    same thing but i always do it when my kitten is in a playfull mood like do they think... SOMEONE IS TOUCHING MY BELLY ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like i don't think they get that its a belly rub

  • @Jacoblifeinchrist
    @Jacoblifeinchrist 12 років тому

    Even if she did theres nothing wrong with that. She can get as much plastic surgery as she likes but she'll never end up being a pretty-girl bimbo type, she's got too much wit

  • @MultiRach123
    @MultiRach123 12 років тому

    Well then, please explain to us all, why in your "logic" are you watching this now? I understand its your "opinion", but to say it out like this -.-" Is just, im sorry, shameful

  • @IamHarryPotterxx
    @IamHarryPotterxx 12 років тому +1

    LOoOve you Ellen < 3

  • @icerado
    @icerado 12 років тому

    and you sir don't know good comedy...her flow is flawless and she knows how to work a crowd. I bet I can some up what you think is funny in two words...dane cook

  • @xxRoseheartxx1
    @xxRoseheartxx1 12 років тому +1

    7:17 Made. My. Day.

  • @mjlee7855
    @mjlee7855 12 років тому

    *Audience applause*
    Ellen: Thank you. What a lovely way to start work.
    Little did she know that she would be starting work like that every day for the next 9 years

  • @kaceykat28
    @kaceykat28 12 років тому

    all of those anti depressant commercials depress me too. I have blown like 200 bucks on Allegra or whatever the hell it is before i found out it didn't work.

  • @kaceykat28
    @kaceykat28 12 років тому

    she could just be standing there on stage, all stony-faced, and the audience would be laughing so hard that they couldn't breathe. Ellen is the Queen o' Comedy!

  • @souleaterisAWESOM10
    @souleaterisAWESOM10 12 років тому

    That's the wrong opinion......I assume by "Funny" you mean swearing and sex jokes. I love Ellen because she manages to be funny AND clean. But oviously, you DON'T seem to thik clea's funny.....that or you're a homophobe.

  • @wmh2014
    @wmh2014 12 років тому

    It's funny how she's talking about procrastination when I should really be doing my research project instead of watching Ellen...
    ehh I'll do it later.

  • @greyshutterflly
    @greyshutterflly 12 років тому

    God, I could watch these videos all day...oh who am I kidding?I HAVE BEEN watching them all day:)) Ellen is like a fun, happy pill. I love her.

  • @Dmakeupmadness810
    @Dmakeupmadness810 12 років тому +1

    okay, not just the US !
    the whole world

  • @BryceAnn
    @BryceAnn 11 років тому

    Aside from stand up Ellen had her own sitcom . I believe it was called ELLEN ...lol
    She owned a book store called " Buy The Book " .

  • @UnBlastRadius
    @UnBlastRadius 11 років тому

    Oh honey, it's so understandable. I'm a gay guy and even I have a girl-crush on Ellen. I would cuddle the s*** out of her.

  • @TheLoveheart605
    @TheLoveheart605 12 років тому

    Yes, ellen we all have problems with procrastination and you are not helping!!! Seriously, stop with these funny videos :p

  • @christibre218
    @christibre218 12 років тому

    She was my first celebrity crush.. Made me realize I was gay... :o She's like.. My lesbian idol.

  • @CaseyPage93
    @CaseyPage93 12 років тому

    could be the deadliest thing and you may be having it for dinner!....is it peas ? i died laughing....full on tears

  • @Michael_Killey
    @Michael_Killey 11 років тому

    I shall challenge myself to drink and never choke. I failed at less than three minutes in. ELLEN ROCKS MY SOCKS.

  • @GreysAnatomyLvr37
    @GreysAnatomyLvr37 12 років тому

    I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. 5 Ellen videos later... Right after this next Ellen video.... Crap it's 3 a.m.

  • @peteremiziane
    @peteremiziane 12 років тому

    is't really shameful that she thinks people with depression, ADD, and other disorders just crazy people. Damn she.

  • @IamHarryPotterxx
    @IamHarryPotterxx 12 років тому

    Watch her show on youtube she is hilarious! You must be the only person who doesnt think so! LOVE YOU ELLEN!!

  • @vyvianamurdock8819
    @vyvianamurdock8819 11 років тому

    "Next, which candy bar makes you lose weight?" "next to find the cheesiest pizza in town!" funny.

  • @angieperez1
    @angieperez1 12 років тому

    I almost had a heart attack from trying not to laugh because I'll wake up my family. Its almost midnight

  • @BergamoFirenzeSGV
    @BergamoFirenzeSGV 12 років тому

    hahaha meatloaf next to the cranberries, Thought it would be funny to organize them by food! Hilarious!

  • @lovingdatful
    @lovingdatful 12 років тому

    she's looks pretty and BtheW ellen has made my cry alot of times but not this much she is so funny !

  • @Pipa991
    @Pipa991 12 років тому

    "Also a disturbing new study, finds that studies are disturbing!" hahahahahah laughed my ass off :D

  • @afkhamniazi
    @afkhamniazi 12 років тому

    A disturbing new study finds that studies are disturbing lol. Bitch is hilarious. I love you Ellen.

  • @wduranko
    @wduranko 10 років тому +4

    genius!

  • @NerdyFox01
    @NerdyFox01 12 років тому

    @CosmicCaprice Actually, before I knew she was gay, I thought she was hilarious so... Yeah... :P

  • @LSKEJ88
    @LSKEJ88 12 років тому

    ab·nor·mal
    abnormal
    adjective
    not normal, average, typical, or usual; deviating from a standard.

  • @nicogolda
    @nicogolda 12 років тому

    we dont even have commercials on our channels ;) the germans still have 6 minutes commercials :P

  • @feverfan420420
    @feverfan420420 12 років тому

    if only black eye peas were popular then. it so would've have gone with her food category of music

  • @MonsterMidgets
    @MonsterMidgets 12 років тому

    I laughed hard as shit and then my mum came in and she thought I'd gone mental or something...

  • @MartyMusic777
    @MartyMusic777 12 років тому

    This woman somehow manages to be funny without turning into a bucket of 'FUCK YOU!'s. HOW IS THIS DONE?!

  • @JM135030
    @JM135030 12 років тому

    i don't agree with her on a lot of things,,, but she's hilarious and just seems awesome :)

  • @SarahLynnFisk
    @SarahLynnFisk 12 років тому

    Whenever my cat rolls over on his belly, I go to rub his belly, and he attacks my arm :(

  • @edwardscrazylover
    @edwardscrazylover 12 років тому

    Procrastinating doing two reports and an essay watching Ellen talk about procrastination.

  • @musiqtube1
    @musiqtube1 13 років тому

    yes i agree with @HallowsReign23 i thank u for posting. AND PLEASE DON'T LET UA-cam TAKE OFF. PLEASE.

  • @JosephCecilSmith
    @JosephCecilSmith 4 місяці тому +1

    🌍♥️💜💙💚💛🧡♥️💜🌎

  • @xxRoseheartxx1
    @xxRoseheartxx1 12 років тому

    Ellen's hair in this bit kind of reminds me of Owen Wilson's... anyone with me? O.x

  • @koudrihamza1
    @koudrihamza1 12 років тому

    Hhhhhhh! I was gonna write this very comment when I saw yours! So I just laughed!!!

  • @Tracymmo
    @Tracymmo 12 років тому

    So many thumbs up in a short space of time. Makes me feel a little less guilty.

  • @imdf98
    @imdf98 12 років тому

    I am trying hard not to laugh or I'll get in trouble. Its one in the morning!

  • @MultiRach123
    @MultiRach123 12 років тому

    LOL And when did i even TRY to make my comment based on sexism and racism? XD

  • @irenadamienmariah
    @irenadamienmariah 12 років тому

    @patricks98
    u dont get her.. she is funny comon the gay thing wasnt funny?..

  • @LiamRichie825
    @LiamRichie825 13 років тому

    She didn't do anything gay. She's not our leader. What happened to our leader?

  • @JF5905
    @JF5905 13 років тому

    i love love love

  • @PolarGenre
    @PolarGenre 13 років тому

    this may sound mean, but i think ellen is the only girl comic that i think is funny :o

  • @Rentgrrrl92
    @Rentgrrrl92 12 років тому

    @TombRaidingAvatar101 Actually, I think it's from around 2000. Maybe 2001.

  • @100904usc
    @100904usc 11 років тому

    want to know if you are genuinely funny?.....no cussing and a full house!

  • @0AllMyVoices0
    @0AllMyVoices0 12 років тому

    But first, a disturbing new study finds that studies are disturbing. LOL

  • @Fan4Pokemon
    @Fan4Pokemon 12 років тому

    No matter how old Ellen or I get, she will ALWAYS be the voice of Dory.

  • @rebed100
    @rebed100 12 років тому +1

    she's the voice of dory

  • @IamHarryPotterxx
    @IamHarryPotterxx 12 років тому +1

    ELLEN

  • @jesusloveseverybody1
    @jesusloveseverybody1 11 років тому +1

    It doesn't matter in what mood i am, she makes me laugh EVERY TIME ;)

  • @dexdex1560
    @dexdex1560 12 років тому

    you do have to remember that you should not put off procrastination!

  • @iBurnedaHouse
    @iBurnedaHouse 12 років тому

    damn....I'm watching this so I don't have to write my fanfiction...

  • @TheAdulateur
    @TheAdulateur 12 років тому

    Sitcoms are 30 second long now, and they're right here on UA-cam.

  • @steviesniper
    @steviesniper 12 років тому

    this is great. I had forgotten that she was mildly entertaining...

  • @begood86
    @begood86 12 років тому

    Niel Patrick Harris is our leader!
    - she's still funny though :)

  • @purplebtterflyfly
    @purplebtterflyfly 12 років тому

    Also, a disturbing new study finds that studies are disturbing.

  • @redlilly101
    @redlilly101 12 років тому

    We all have one thing in common...*silence*... We're all gay.

  • @Chumpster1981
    @Chumpster1981 12 років тому

    She probably got it done. Shit I had my front tooth fixed.

  • @redlilly101
    @redlilly101 13 років тому

    despite our diffrences.....we're all gay.*serious face* LOL