@@Liusila IKR my mother used to drop me off at my grandpa's house and say "if he tells u to lay down with him don't" she also left me alone at the house with her boyfriend's uncle who was a pedo and got very scared and yelled at me to lock myself in my room cause I was playing hide and seek with him I was only 5/6 her boyfriend also was a pedo and blamed me for being molested even tho I had obvious signs of stress she always left me alone with him when she had to work it happened from the age of 5 to 11 when I decided to move in with my biological mother to make it stop only to be raped by my older brother I was only molested before and when my biological mother found out I was molested she also blamed me and said I would probably say the same about her boyfriend so I never told her that her son is a rapist because of course she wouldn't believe me and hate me even more than she does now
I knew a super feminist who always ranted about men being predators. When it came out that her bf, being 25, groomed and banged a 13 year old.. she immediately began blaming the young girl saying she was a white and came in to him. People always rationalize it regardless of their "opinions"
I knew a girl who's older brother molested her. The parents knew, it just got swept under the carpet like nothing had happened. I couldnt be around that ****, needed a good kicking for what he did as you could clearly tell it affected her.
My mom ruined- RUINED her sisters wedding- like threw the presents in the dumpster ruined. My sister and i were 4/5 ish and were supposed to be flower girls. Made our family pariahs. Turns out her cousin had molested her as a kid, no one believed her then- only to have the family invite the creep and try to make my mom apologize for "the lie" and reconcile with him. We were the same age she had been and the idea of him in the same building as us was out of the picture. She said pick me or him- they picked him and she fucking lost it. Suddenly makes sense why we dont talk to them.
My husband's cousin went through the same shit but at family reunions. Her uncle molested her. None of the aunts would address him. She was to blame cause she was a wild child. He was also wild and creepy but everyone let him get away with it. Now karma is getting hers. He married a woman from Argentina. He would brag how much younger than him she is. She is very critical of him, treats him worse than garbage, lets him know what a pos he is, keeps him uncomfortable in his own skin. I can't wait to ask him how his 'younger wife' is doing and if the wedding bells ring loud. I love it. Everyone is hush hush about how she is to him, fair play.
when i was 12, i found out that my dad wasn’t actually my dad. turns out my biological father was this guy my mom dated in high school. all my life, he had come over every now and again to visit, and my parents told me he was a “family friend,” and that the three of them had been friends in high school. after finding out that he was my bio father, it all made sense: we had always had a close bond and i had always looked forward to him coming over. it also made sense why my “dad” always seemed to prefer my (half) sister over me. it was because she was his biological kid, and i wasn’t. ALSO, i found out much later on in life that my biological dad basically coerced my mom into having sex when she didn’t want to, and then a banded her/me when he found out she was pregnant. ALSO found out that apparently my grandma kind of tried to convince my mom to abort me? yikes. oh and also i found out that BOTH my dads are registered sex offenders, both for statutory rape. turns out the nine-month “business trip” that my dad took when i was little was actually him going to prison. i honestly kinda wish that i had never known any of this, because it really messed with my self-esteem. like, i went from being a normal middle school kid to suddenly being aware that i was an unplanned, almost-aborted bastard who was the product of rape. middle school is hard enough without having a full-on identity crisis.
It's not my place to tell you it's okay, but most of us are not planned, and those who were, had purpose of saving a relationship not worth saving or fulfilling parents' ambitions, which always ends in disappointment. In the end of the day, people just happen, and you're pretty normal.
My dad have to be my mom not to abort me. Actually she told me just recently that she had 2 abortions before she found out she was pregnant with me. She also didn’t hold me that much when I was born. Both of my parents also basically let a women get away with abusing me for years when I was 2 or 3, she was my babysitter. Like this woman bit me and made me eat dog shit. Seriously your not alone, try to find a counselor it helps a lot!
What confused me is why is family going anywhere near him/allowing him near them? If I found this out, I wouldn’t even be in the same state as him so there’s a smaller chance something can happen.
@@HaleyIsFunny If the family is such a serious business to these people that he doesn't get reported, then they'd go near him too. They probably loved the grandma, after all.
This happens all the time with rape victims in general, including underage teens. It's obviously extra fucked up as an excuse for child molesters since most of us can't even begin to comprehend the idea of that being "tempting" but it's also fucked up when it happens to older people, so I guess if it's happening to anyone then it's only so much of a leap to apply the same fucked up logic to other victims.
I used to wonder why my "sister" had my name on her arm as a tattoo along with her sons'. When I hit puberty I was eventually told my mom and dad are actually my grandparents and my "sister" is my mother. She was 17 when she had me and my grandparents adopted me.
This is why I get triggered when people laugh at shows like Eastenders having these storyllnes (they did it twice) saying they are needlessly dramatic and unrealistic; nope, plenty of people go through crazy shit like that and its kind of nice to have something to relate to and help others understand it too.
That's unfortunately a pretty common scenario. When I was 16, a 17 yr old girl I knew killed herself a couple years after finding out that was the case. The thing was, her "big sister" had never married but had another little girl when she was 6-7yrs old. Then when she was 15 she found out her sister was really her mom, had her at like 17-18 & had a job, but just didn't want the responsibility of being a single parent, so when she was gonna give her up for adoption the grandparents took her. Yet the mom then got pregnant again, broke up with the guy just like the 1st time, but for some reason chose to keep this baby even though her circumstances were exactly the same as before. The teenager couldn't emotionally reconcile the fact that in the exact same circumstances she was unwanted & often told "You're a bratty little sister, why should I visit home all the time to see you? I have my own life & my own kid to raise." while her "niece"/little sister was wanted & adored by the mom as "her only baby". It really messed her up & no amount of love from the grandparents that raised her & her friends could counter the fact that her mom had not loved her the same way as her sister. Her grandparents even took her to see a psychiatrist many times, but it didn't help. Her suicide note talked about how there must be something wrong with her because her mom didn't ever love her. I didn't go to the same school as her, but her best friend went to my school & my church, & my mom somehow knew the girl's grandma through work. They were all so devastated & I wondered why they chose to tell her at all if they had waited that long & the grandparents knew that their daughter had never attached to or cared about her 1st baby?
The message from the poster to his/her parents at the end was probably well meant but came off as patronizing. The world was a different place 35 years ago, and that's assuming he's not from some country where the family would just kill him with impunity (and still would). 35 years ago would put the dad in the middle of the AIDS epidemic, when AIDS was a death sentence. Hard to comprehend if you didn't live through those times. Also, assuming he was real young when they married, he's now a closeted gay man in his mid-fifties at minimum. Ask any older gay man how great it is to single and dating (and have a lot of family baggage) in a community that's always been all about youth and good looks. Come to think of it, this applies equally well to older single women. The parents probably figured they're better off as is. Leave them alone. Also, I'm not sure what the wife of a gay man whom she married knowing full well he was gay has to "forgive" when he behaves like a gay man. I tend so assume those are women with low sex drives or some sexual hangup that want the security of marriage and family with someone they like and trust without being bothered for sex.
People get married for lots of reasons, and not being socially ostracized has always been on that list. Not every woman has always been interested in getting married, but it has most often always been expected by families, so it may have worked out just fine for both of them, considering. There are still lots of couples like this even today.
i’m tan and native american while both of my parents are white. my mom took a dna test and she was 0% native. a year ago one of my moms friends, i only know him as me john, died from cancer. she was really hurt even though they never really talked. he’s tan and native american, the same tribe as me... pretty sure i’m a product of an affair SO
This sounds like the guy from king of the hill, he is the guy with the glasses and has the Native kid who he says it his and his wife's. (but its actually john redcorn's kid)
How can he be the same Tribe as you if your parents were white? Unless they were Celts, white people aren't tribal. I think you mean he has the same genetic liniage as you.
When I was 20 years old, my mom drunkenly told me that my grandma most likely died on my 3rd birthday but she convinced the coroner to fudge the date of her own mother’s death so as to not spoil my future birthdays with the idea that my grandma died on the same day. At first I thought it was messed up but then I realized my mom did that out of love for me and I’ve come to appreciate her for it.
My great grandmother died the day after I was born and so now my family refuses to acknowledge my birthday because it makes them all sad to think of. I am now 18 and I absolutely hate my birthday because my family acts like it isn’t even there, while also posting on the internet about my great grandmother’s death. Your mom is an angel
@@juliannagk9079 You great grandma survived long enough to see you born. She held out for you. Has it occurred to your family that death is part of the life cycle. Did they really think she would live forever. Maybe you need to respond that it was your birthday and you have yet to celebrate it in 18 yrs. They will say you are selfish but throw it back in their face about the last birthday they celebrated and ask why they think you are undeserving of recognition. When they start yakking about her death, remind them that it was the day after your birth and she waited to see you brought into the world. She would have wanted you to be celebrated on your special day and then she would have the next day, if she was that type of person. Send the worst offender(s) birthday cards, wishing them a happy birthday, adding even though they never celebrated yours and it would have been thoughtful and considerate to have a party just like the one they will have. Throw a wet blanket on that party. I would not bother attending bc they will single you out and try a send you on a guilt trip. They are probably a toxic lot and have to make someone miserable. You will meet so many good ppl. My husband had a friend whose family never celebrated any type of day, cult religious reasons. We were the first to celebrate all important days with him. It felt so good to do the firsts with him. When you find someone to share your live with, let them know they are popping your happy day celebrations. It will be extra fun.
My grandma passed this year June 15th. And my birthday this year was on Father's Day, June 16th. I wanted so bad for her not to pass on Fathers Day because I didnt want anyone to associate it together and make it harder. I dont think anyone was paying attention to what the next was besides fathers day. Fathers day changes date every year. And I am glad that i will always have a reminder of when she passed and keep her with me through out the year. I miss her so much. I wish we could have had more holidays with her. I regret everything I've never done with her. I fucking miss her so much.
that's my case... my dad was 20 and she was 26. he just finished nocturnal high school and want to go to college so she tried to keep him with me :/ ... they got merry when I was 1 year old.
The one about the aunt and her girlfriend, same. Figured it out myself when I was about 20. They have been together for my whole life, live in a beautiful home out in the country, and have been through so much together. It’s actually a very beautiful relationship.
Not somthing I was told, but somthing I figured out. Growing up, my grandpa liked to tell me stories. He once told me about his childhood pet, a duck, he raised himself. One day he come home from school to find his duck had died in the bathtub. He said the duck couldn't get over the edge of the tub so it got exhausted from swimming and drowned. Tragic story, but it became even more tragic after i got older and learned that A:ducks are probably amongst the hardest birds to drown and B: my grandpas older brother has a history of abusing and killing animals. So, it's more likely then not my grandpas duck was murdered. I never had the heart to tell him, he still gets sad about that duck
My uncle died in 1995. My grandma used to tell me that he had hit his head, after falling from a staircase. During high school, I'd find any excuse to stay at home, because I hated my classmates (in Italy teachers are the ones who need to move from classroom to classroom, so there was no escape for me, I was stuck with those bitches), and I frequently asked my parents to let me skip school for the day. My mother was always very reluctant to do so and told me to go to my grandma's, because she didn't want me being alone; this seemed really strange to me, because I was old enough. Two years ago, after my usual outburst, I heard a conversation between my parents... well, I only heard my mother yell: "just so you remember, Daniele (my uncle) killed himself while he was alone at home!". I now know the reason behind her strange behaviour.
I swear, in some of these stories, trying to figure out which aunt is which, whose dad is whose cousin, and which brother smashed which sister is like solving a differential equation
When my older brother was younger he planed a sunflower seed, for months he would go out and stare at it for hours watching it grow. One day my mom got off early and pulled the sunflower he was watching and put in a full grown one (she was a groundkeeper so she cut down hundreds that day) it went from a 3 inch sprout to a massive 3 foot/1 meter flower and he got so excited. It died 3 days later. He found out 3 years ago and never suspected a thing.
So she replaced the living plant he was learning patience and caring for, and replaced it with a full grown chopped off flower that quickly died. Why can't adults just let kids learn things instead of trying to trick them into being happy over things that aren't real?
All my life my grandpa was treated amazing by any military personnel never bought a drink in a bar but he always said he just did his part in ww2 turns out he was a extremely decorated soldier winning the second highest military medal in my country
@@shadowcultist Other military people or people who knew their history (re: high honor medals) might recognize him, but I guess he didn't brag on himself. Maybe not as much a secret as just...being humble? Or even possibly that he doesn't like thinking of being in a war and the trauma associated with it, so leaves it at 'I did my part.'
My mom and I were talking about things I remembered, and I remembered going to a nice place once a month to visit my dad for a while. It had a large lake you could walk around, with meetings and such. I brought that up, and it turned out to be a rehab center, bc my dad was a drug addict until I was 7... that was fun to find out
I really hate that this happened to you, but also that anyone can relate. Had the same thing happen when I was younger, I always thought it was just a hospital cause my dad hurt his hip but it was most definitely not.
When I was little my dad decided to let his best friend at the time live with us, my dad put a mobile home in our yard so he could live there. He had everything in there computer, TV, etc. Provided by my dad. I used to love this guy he would give me candy and would tell me that I am beautiful. Time past and he moved out 2 weeks later after moving out, the fbi woke us up at 5am to search our house. It was really traumatizing, especially because they arrested my dad in front of me. Turns out they were blaming my dad for searching and watching Childporn on the Internet. At the moment I was just confused as why I was getting interrogated asking me if I was every sexually abused by my dad. The fbi was at our house the whole day, they took the cuffs off my dad as they searched his computer and found nothing. Turns out my dads best friend had been consuming cp the whole time he had lived with us. My dad set his best friend up so they could arrest him as he was one of the most searched pedofiles in Arizona and they arrested him outside of my house.
@@loading1345 the dad set his best friend up after the police showed up. I would've probably done more than that if I found out they were a pedo and I let my child be around them
My story has three events that I couldn’t really get my young child mind to comprehend. The first one was coming home one day to my parents owning a gun. Like I went to school with my father proclaiming that he doesn’t have the courage to hold a pistol to watching him shoot entire rounds at a target zombie while doing homework. The next was about a month later and happened when I hit a window really hard to kill a bug and set off the security (which was odd because it was noon and the sun was shining). My mother freaked and shoved me, my sister, and her into her master closet and holding a pistol to the door until I told her that I was the one who set off the alarm. The final and normalest of these incidents was when I noticed that a car would always follow Mommy’s car wherever she went. It was never the same model or color but I knew that they were following us. My mother didn’t seem to mind though so I didn’t either. I even told Mom that my favorite “shadow car” was the red Prius because it was the same car as Daddy’s. It wasn’t until I was fifteen did I learn that my family as being stalked. It all started when this man threatened my father (a doctor) that if he didn’t get his opioids, he would kill his wife and his daughters then him. My father didn’t think much of it (Wisconsin had a huge opioid problem) until little packages started to show up without stamps/return addresses and phone calls at three am to only be met with silent breathing. My family finally went to the police who encouraged my parents to purchase a firearm (my mother is a good shot to this day), a undercover cop to follow my mother where ever she went, and a formal order to my school to never let anyone other than a man-in-uniform, my father, or my mother to pick me up. This went on for months until he was apprehended. Turns he tried to pick up me (7 years old) and my sister (5) from school. He confessed to police that if the school didn’t tip off his location and if he got a hold of me and my sister, he was going to shoot us both behind the head and bury us on the banks of Lake Superior. He’s in jail now with a life sentence and no chance of parole.
How did he get a life sentence without actually having killed anyone? I'm just curious. In any case, your family must've been influential to have received due police protection when it was truly needed (not a lot of people do). Glad he's locked up and can't hurt you anymore
My relationship with my father's side of the family has always been a little tense. When I was little, at family gatherings I always tried to fit in but it somehow felt awkward. My cousins wouldn't talk or play with me and one of my aunts always gave me the stink eye. It didn't matter how hard I tried, they seemed to not like me. And it didn't stop there, they were rude to my mom too. Like they would completely disregard that we were there and ignore us (while still glaring at us thinking that we wouldn't catch them). They almost threw a tantrum on my 15th birthday because I invited my mom's family (who rised me and took care of me when my parents couldn't). Once I asked my mom why they didn't like us but still seemed to treat my dad well. Turns out that they were part of a cult (and some still are) back when my parents were dating, and tried to get my dad to join them. In that cult their leader decides who gets to marry who. At that time my uncle had cheated on his wife and married his girlfriend, abandoning his previous family in the process, his new wife had a daughter from a previous marriage and they wanted my dad to marry the daughter (who was already pregnant from her bf) and join the cult even though they knew my dad was ALREADY dating my mom. They even tried to push my dad to make advances on the daughter but he refused. My mom realized what was happening and she told my father to choose, it was her or the daughter. He chose my mom. They married and a few years later I was born. So long story short, they hate my mom because she ruined their opportunity to get my dad to join the cult and she refused to get converted to their religion. And they hate me because i'm the living reminder of this event.
Those people are crazy and your parents seem reasonable, so the real question is why they would subject you to years of unaddressed emotional abuse from them
For some context, this whole thing starts around Bristol, England, roughly in the early 1930s. Basically, my great-great-grandfather was the Earl of this area and had an affair with one of the maids. That said maid got pregnant, and thus my great-grandmother was born. To avoid the shame of having an illegitimate child and ending his marriage he fired my great-great-grandmother and sent her money to help care for their child. When my great-grandmother got older, around 10-ish, he sent her to India to be educated and avoid suspicion because he and my great-grandmother looked very alike. My great-grandmother was sent to India instead of some fancy boarding school was because my great-great-grandfather knew a lot of wealthy people and was paranoid people would find out. My great-grandmother was still studying in India during World War Two and and learnt how to shoot a gun and briefly dated an Indian soldier. After the war ended she came home to her mum, my great-great-grandmother, and joined the Communist Party when she turned 21. She never knew who her father was until her mother was on her death-bed and confessed. By this point it was far too late since her father died during the war, and my great-grandmother decided not to say anything to her step-mother out of fear of a lawsuit or any other kind of legal retaliation. But my great-grandmother did eventually settle down, moving south to a rural village, nearby where I live today since my family stayed local, where she then had a daughter of her own. Who had a daughter, who then had me. I found all of this out pretty recently, and whilst it was by no means a secret to my grandmother and my mother, I still thought it was pretty neat.
Holy shit this video was depressing. Even though my parents divorced when I was 4, I never knew why, and it wasn't until I was 19 years old, I asked my Mom why they divorced, she said "ask your Dad", my dad said " what did your Mom say?", I said she, she said to ask you. He then told me it was because he was drinking too much, and one night when he was drunk he hit her. She took me and left the house and never went back. (Later confirmed by my Mom, when I told her what dad said) But my entire childhood I never remember a bad word between them or about the other in front of me. My mom said she made my dad promise in the divorce to never talk bad about each other in front of me. I just grew up with parents that lived in different cities, no bad memories of fighting/bickering and all that other shit too many kids have to live thru. I can't thank my parents enough for doing the very best thing possible for me, and just letting me grow up being a happy kid. I was one of the lucky ones!
The aunt living with the “close friend” is funny cause as a kid, living with your best friends seems like a great idea and tbh idk why when we grow older we don’t consider it more, especially if u are not the married-living kinda person
i actually have an aunt who lives with a "close friend" but they actually are just best friends for some reason lmao so when i was like 12 i was like hold on aren't they gay but i asked my mum a few years later and it turns out they really are just best friends that travel the world together sometimes (obviously before covid)
My great grandma would joke that I was switched at birth or that I was the "milk man's" baby all the time when I was a kid. Also dealt with family treating me different than my brother. When I turned 21 I was told that the man who raised me was not my dad and that when I born he was 18 and just stepped up to be my dad. Also I am the first born. Everyone blamed me for him not living more of his life I guess, and my gram was trying to give me secret messages to let me know. :/
When I was younger, my mom told me that my dad can't work and gets a check every month because he hurt his back while working and he had PTSD from when his mom died when he was younger. My mom also said that my dad couldn't read well because he had very bad eyesight even with glasses so she would have to spell things out for him or tell him what words said. Growing up, my mom would convince my dad to stay at home when we would go to meet my teachers or my parent's friends and such. Just recently when I turned 18, I found out that my dad is intellectually disabled as in he has a very low IQ. My dad was in special education classes all his life. He has never been able to read or understand many things like jokes or complicated stories. This shocked me when I found out because I never realized he wasn't normal until I was told this. He did a great job of raising me and helping me with things even with his disability. He is very happy and brags to have raised a kid that has a 4.0 in school and is going to college in a few months. I am kind of worried about my future children and if I may pass on a carried gene for the intellectual disability, though.
I know this is from a year ago but it depends on who you have kids with. If that person has a parent with the same case, then (usually) the chances are 50/50. You have a stronger chance of passing an intellectual disability to yours kids (due to him being your parent), and if they express the gene-or not, your kids can also have a chance as well. Instead of fearing for the unknown, ask your father for tips or I’m sure you picked up certain behaviors that would make it easier for someone with experience to pick up on. Anyways, you seem to be an understanding person, so I’m gonna assume you would be accepting of your child regardless. It’s more like-I don’t want them to go through that struggle and for me to live with that ongoing stress (that your mother have endured). It’s not easy raising, loving, or caring, but you family most likely raised you to not pay attention the disability.
I used to think my dad was a fruit seller. Which was odd because we lived in the city with a small yard and no plants. However I would always hear him on the phone saying "Yeah I have 80 oranges I can get rid of at 5 each" or " I have 200 grapes i can do for 800" I thought we never have anything but bananas in my house and my dad is so stingy. Turns out my dad was a drug dealer and those were code names. I was only around 6 so how was I to know?
5 bucks each for the orange ones is a pretty good deal, but 800 bucks for 200 of the purple ones is a crazy cheap price. I guess you really so save buying in bulk.
I found out my sister was actually my half sister when I was 18, turns out my mom was pregnant when she met my dad. He didnt mind, and raised her like his own. Also that one of my uncles was actually my cousin, my aunt had him at a young age, and her mom took custody. My aunt was raped by her stepfather, and it was his kid.
@beverly ledbetter When you are strong enough and ready, tell your mom using very specific examples, write them as you remembered and now when it happens. Let her know how it affected you. Remind her that you never asked to be brought into the world, it was of her own doing and she needs to own up to it.
When I was a kid I had a stepmom and a 16-year-old stepsister. She would backtalk my dad and slam cabinets/doors in a way that would would get me knocked right out. I never understood it. Once she also told him to keep his hands off of her, which I thought meant he would get physical with her like he did me. Anyway, her bedroom was right next to mine and her door squeaked horribly and woke me up often in the middle of the night. One day I oiled it, thinking I was doing a good deed. The next morning, both she AND my dad were absolutely livid with me… for oiling a squeaky door! Years later, I realized the squeaky door was a secret signal and they were actually screwing each other. This was 30 years ago. They maintained a good relationship until his death and it was never spoken of.
I have a son and a daughter so that story about the mom sleeping with her son and that son being in love with his sibling really made me sick to my stomach at the thought of that.
That I was German. My grandfather defected during WWII with my grandmother. He WAS a soldier, was a nazi. His entire family was threatened with death and grandmother was pregnant at the time. And they almost were killed on the way out, two moving trucks. They caught the wrong one on fire. The thing grandpa was forced to do haunted him to his very last days. I actually started living with him and was his caregiver. He was only allowed to u.s, because he could read doppler radar something that back then was a skill not many had. He was 19 years old when this happened. He died about 5 year ago. My parents said they never told us kids bevause there was a fear of nazi hunters. And you know kids are so good at keeping secrets.
@@Em-yd9jn I only learned details while being his caretaker. I didnt ask details just that he could read doppler radar. Was a soldier and had some rank. What rank no idea. He waa given a fresh start along with my grandmother. By the time they tried to get his parents out they were killed by then. So only my grandma and grandpa made it out while she was pregnant not with my dad but my aunt. I didnt want to ask details. The remorse and terrors he had with dreams and everything the man clearly still suffered for it. And my opinion he spent his entire life trying to repent for it. So I didnt want to know everything either. I was of the mind set "he is good now and that is what matters" My dad doesnt know. He knows he is german but the only thing he knows about his own dad was being in the airforce. High rank. I dont know how to tell him, or if I even should or if I even have the right to. They never had a close relationship but I dont even know if my own family will believe me. The aunt that knew just died herself this year. Grandma dead. Grandpa dead. Everyone that knew it first hand is dead. And we went through grandpa's house all his things he didnt keep a thing from those days. So I have no proof except the stories of a dyeing man.
@@overlandtoshore if i didnt know the man he was while i was growing up my feelings would be different i am sure. But the man he spent his entire life after becoming, it haunted him till his last days. No punishment ever given to him could have been more justified for any victims. He told me he saved a few. He could only save those few. I have admiration for him and grandmother. They both spent their entire lives after that trying to repent. Church, prayer. Become better people. As a child I saw them as nothing but pure. As a teen I had been told they always weren't. They used to drink and smoke heavily. But they stopped and sobered up when their dog died over 4p years ago. Regardless of what happened back then, he spent his entire life trying to make up for it. He served in air force for the u.s for many years after. Two wars he was in. So....I feel he has earned my respect. At first I will say I had thought about it all night. I couldnt sleep and had to use the internet to research some facts because I didmt want it to be true...but then things began to make sense. Why the moving truck fire happened that they lost everything in and proof or momentos of being in germany. The drinking, the struggles....how he always said he wouldnt go to heaven. It began to make more sense, and with his screaming In the middle of the night what else was I to do? He was dieing. The last thing I promised to do, was be there until he died. So I stayed. I took care of him watching him go insane as he slowly just....dementia and memory issues hit hard and fast. Then he was gone. I'm not sure I wanted to know. If I'm better knowing. And I dont know if I can ever tell my father about his own dad.
@@shinko6342 As an actual german citizen with german grandparents I know that that is always somewhat hard to accept. However the fact that he defected and felt guilty points to the direction that he wasnt a nazi. Nazis are technically only those that were either in the party or the people who actually follow the ideology. Compared to that my grandparents were children at that time so they probably actually believed the propaganda. What I am trying to say is that there is a whole nation who has german ancestors from that time and many of these ancestors were way less heroic than your grandfather. That is what I would call your granfathers actions, heroic. Not many people made those decisions and most people today wouldnt either.
Something similar to one of the stories here happened to me. My mum was pregnant with twins when I was about 5. My parents later stopped talking about it and didn't explain what had happened, because I was so young it never really solidified in my mind that she was going to have a baby so I never really thought about it. When I was about 15 my mum told me that the reason the pregnancy stopped was because the twins were severely disabled and keeping them would have meant that me and my sister would have likely spent most of our lives caring for them. My mum and dad decided that their quality of life would have been awful and that it was more humane to just get an abortion. P.S. My parents have had an extremely hard time with pregnancy before me and my sister (e.g. 4 miscarriages) and my parents were in their late 20s to early 30s when they started trying for kids.
Lmao when I went to Vietnam I had way more than 3 cousins. Turns out I had like 26 of them at my bday and like 72 more that were long distance so they didnt show up?
At some I found out that I have another cousin and I was an aunt and a bunch of people who I've never seen in my life, me and my brother was joking about what if all the stranger that we never pay attention to in our normal daily life were actually some long distance relative.
Lmaooooo my mom and my dads sides are both native (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents EVERYWHERE) and what makes it worse is that my step dad is Mexican so.... Meeting new people each family gathering on all sides of the families!!! 😂😂😂
Ok, Im confused on one of them. "My grandpa wasn't forced into early retirement because he stole someone's teapot, he was stocking up on guns." I feel like there should be much more to this story, so he got forced into early retirement because he was stocking up on guns?
@@Nada-ux4we Long story short, alcohol, anger issues, fighting with mom and abusing my older sister, left mom unexpectedly with three children, tried to take me after they split by picking me up from school (before mom took him off the list), went to court, he tried his damn best to avoid paying child support, married his mistress and pretends I don't exist. I could write a whole novel going into detail on what he did to my mother and my family, he was nothing but toxic to everyone.
@@EchoFrost13 He has to pay child support even when you come of age via unpaid back child support. If he doesn't pay it, he can get his wages garnished and/or it can come out of his tax returns. He can also go to jail for it. For most ppl the only way they learn is when they are hit in the pocketbook. If you can, continue to go to school (college/university), depending on your state laws, he has to continue paying child support until you are out of school and stay unmarried. Look up the laws and continue contributing to his miserable life. Don't let your mom get away from receiving child support. He had an equal role in your conception. You and your family should not have substandard lifestyle bc of his selfish unwillingness to pay. Write down his toxicity and read it every time he attempts to get back in your life. Send a copy of your "novel" on his next big birthday, ie 40, 50, 60. He will be miserable and alone on his deathbed. Had to edit this: He has to pay child support while you are in school until you are 23 (as long as you are single, too). So continue going to school after high school.
15:14 "So mum why do I not see much of uncle bob he seems nice" "Oh that's because he's wanted by the FBI for making biological weapons* *spits out coffee* "WHAT?!" "Yep your uncle always loved chemistry hahaha"
re: potential autistic. My daughter was not diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum until she was 33. Explained A LOT. When she was really starting to exhibit some of the symptoms (around 6 or 7 y/o), the evaluators said she had emotional and learning disabilities. Back then, autism was a "boy's issue," not a girl's. So many girls were unfairly labeled because they presented behaviors in a different way. Only recently are they really coming around to the idea that girls can be high functioning autistics (Aspies). Looking back it makes SOOOO much sense. It would have helped a lot, I think, with her self-esteem, if nothing else, if we had known. I am just glad that the county we lived in was starting to address mental health issues in school. She was in a special program from middle school on that helped her a lot (but they still did not call it autism).
Xion Memoria Asperger’s syndrome hasn’t been removed form the autism spectrum. I’ve no idea where you’ve picked that up from, but it IS now set apart from types of high-functioning autism. (A-level psychology was enough to teach me this.)
@@xionmemoria who finds it offensive? Neither me nor anyone I ever met in the community thinks that, we even call ourselves "aspies" because it's easier for little children to say it.
My mum worked out I have aspergers and then used it against me. She would buy books on how difficult it is having a child with aspergers so I knew how difficult I was and would constantly remind me of how I was different and not normal. I think she has undiagnosed mental issues but just in case, please dont do this anyone who has a child or knows someone with aspergers. Its very hurtful and made me feel very depressed and suicidal because she seemed to blame me for all her problems. Hoping this isnt what you meant at all, but that explained A LOT thing just took me right back there. Thankfully shes eased off all that now I'm away from her most of the time, still no clue what her mental health issue is, but I understand it as just that, something she is not in control of, I dont belittle her like she did to me I just try and help and try and understand
That my father was known in the family as a sexual predator, after he moved on my then 13-yr-old cousin, trying to get her to drink with him. He used to tell me I was more fun when I was drunk. The family that knew that I was a young girl trapped with a predator said not one word about it. They did enjoy gossiping about the ways it wrecked my life, though.
Even though my uncle and I have very similar personalities, I had always wondered why he never seemed to take commitment seriously and never seems to want children. Or at least until recently when I discovered that he had an ex wife I had never known about, apparently they were married long before I was born and according to my grandmother she was a very gorgeous woman. Well, I guess her looks were the only thing she had going for her, because she ended up running off with his best friend while they were still married and she ended up dying a few months later due to unknown causes. Her unexpected death and that betrayal absolutely crushed him to his soul and I really can't blame him for being wary of that type of commitment. To be honest, after hearing that story I'm actually proud of him for having the strength to move on from that and still managing to have the courage to get remarried to my aunt, and fortunately they go together like Cheesewiz and Ritz crackers and are very happy together.
I worked at a pet store and I never understood the "replacement" thing though it happens all the time. Parents come in and have to buy a hamster that looks EXACTLY like the old one did. Children can be smart and understand when things are just gone. I never understood why parents had to lie about their pet dying.
Unfortunately to shield their child from reality of mortality. To keep them as ignorant as possible because we assume kids would breakdown if they realized people can die.
@@callmema14 Honestly if your child is gonna have breakdown better early than later, while stakes are lower and there's more time to fix up your life, cause you can dream all you want, breakdown is coming, only thing you're doing is delaying it, and sometimes when it happens post 15-20 years, it just ends up in suicide.
I don't know how I feel about this. My family never sugar-coated anything. When A pet died, they took me up to the dead body so that I had proof it was dead. Looking back, I think i was so I had closure, and to understand that living things die if not cared for.
i agree. when i was 11 my mom died. i was stoic and fine about it until a year later when i had a mental breakdown. i probably would have been better off in a mental health hospital. i raged constantly, barely ate, isolated myself, was suicidal. since it came so suddenly no one knew why, everyone in my family just accepted it. but since then i have definitely gotten much better and healed from that. last year i put two and two together and realized it may have been influenced by my mom's death. i just didnt understand the concept of mortality. it makes me wish i had, since her death wasnt unexpected. if i had had a pet, though, and that pet died, i imagine i would have accepted the death much better than i did. when parents shield their kid of learning a hard lesson like the death of a pet, it means the kid has one less experience to look back on and relate to and may get in the way of healing. complete honesty is the best option you can go for most of the time in these situations.
In fact a hamster is a LOT better way to learn about death and letting go before you actually have to lose a person close to you. It's like a trial run.
34:41 I've suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for the past several years. This story gave me a reason to live and pull my shit together: to be the coolest uncle I can be for my future nieces and nephews.
You always have a reason to live. Parents, friends, loved ones. More people care for you than you know. Even me and I'm a random stranger on the Internet. I used to have those thoughts too, when I was younger. I was bullied a lot in school and it really hurt my self esteem. I felt like I wasn't worth it and that everything they said was true. Now, I know that it wasn't. No one is worth enough to make you want to kill yourself, hurt yourself or otherwise. Life is a gift, it's the only one we have. Tomorrow, you might save someone's life. Tomorrow, you could find $20 on the sidewalk. Like Annie said, "the sun will come out tomorrow" Keep your chin up. It may be bad now but, you have plenty to look forward to. 😊
Same. I went to visit family for Christmas..my niece is so fun..but my sister hates me. Breaks my heart. Thinking suicide often. It's been a rough life
I’m my grandpa’s favorite, and I know that he’s a sweetie. I also have a tough mountain man grandfather, but he’s got a soft spot for me and always has. I obviously don’t go around telling my siblings and cousins, and so it’s our little secret I guess. He’s actually a really sweet and kind old dude, always helping people out and hiding it. He’s just got a stone face and is pretty reserved. He is a Vietnam vet after all.
I don’t understand why people keep molesters around and risk it. My family did that and I now no longer have a relationship with them, ignoring it the worst thing you can do and I’ll never let my kid around anyone like that knowingly
I wasn’t too aware of it for years, but my great-grandmother was buried apart from my great-grandfather. Considering he’d died before I was born, I never really considered him as a person-person, so even if I’d known about this happening, it must’ve slipped my mind. As it turns out, this was intentional on my great-grandmother’s part. At some point, before she passed, the family recovered old photos of his from when he’d traveled on a merchant ship for his job and apparently one such photo was of a Japanese lady with some not-very-Japanese kids. Despite being very Catholic, I guess Great Gran died pissed at her cheating husband enough to demand being buried as far away from him as she could. We don’t talk about about the mystery woman or the mysterious relatives, but we have talked about trying to track them down somehow.
@@loading1345 It’d be cool, but it’s kind of unlikely. We don’t really have much to go on, unfortunately. I imagine they probably did get teased, seeing as my family’s black. On the lighter-skinned side, maybe, but notable features would’ve still likely been evident enough to make it clear they’re not entirely Japanese :/
My older sister isn't my full sister. We only share a mom. Makes a lot of sense. We're literally polar opposites in every single way. Appearance, personality, etc.
To be fair: I'm polar opposite of one of my sisters, slightly like the oldest sister, and extremelly similar to 3rd sister. We are all "full" sister, just have different personalities and the way our parents raised us probably affected everything.
This but my Mom's side of the family. My grandma just recently got put away for a couple decades because of continued meth production, dealing and consumption. And dont give me that "rehabilitation shit" People tried to get her to go Interventions Full family pushing her to stop She never listened Time and time again she was warned and eventually got sent to prison for what will probably be the rest of her life. My mom has officially given up on her because it had been decades of this shit. Almost killed my Mom and Aunt several times because of her drug use.
My Aunt, who was always unaffectionate and bitchy to everyone, including to her husband and children, was raped at 14 and was victim blamed by my grandparents because she "wore short skirts" and therefore "looked for it" She was never taken to the police to report it (because what would ppl think), never got counseling and was just made to internalize her pain. I completely understand her now, as I too was molested as a child.
My mom was married before she married my dad. Her ex-husband stalked her for weeks after they got divorced. Also she was heavily dependant on weed for most of my life without me knowing about it. Also, my great uncle was in prison for my whole life for possession of child p.rn. The FBI were involved in his arrest. I didn't learn this until he got out of prison about 2 years ago now. Most of my family forgives him. I refuse to speak to him. At least my dad understands and wants to keep his kids away from him.
My cousin who is 18 years old now was adopted and her parents still haven’t told her. The entire family knows though. I think it’s lowkey messed up lmao I feel bad for her sometimes.
@@CANTfindTHEkeyboard1 Talk to the parents maybe? If most of the family knows already, better then someone else does it, secrets get out. But hey, i´m random guy on the internet, haven´t had such an experience in my life, but i guess i would like to know the truth.
Paris Teta yeah i agree it’s just not a close family dynamic plus we’re the same age it’s just not really my thing to do. Maybe they’ll tell her eventually. I’m not too close with them so and they live quite far.
M mpb if they didn’t tell her at 18 they don’t plan on telling at all, you should never wait until someone is that old to divulge that kind of information. I would want someone to tell me instead of letting me be oblivious
my dad told me a few years ago that he used to be a weed dealer when i was younger. the weird smell that was always in our garage and the bags of green stuff he gave to his friends finally made sense then lol. i'd always thought the weed was some weird form of money but i never asked him about it
I suffered mild emotional/mental abuse from my father and around age 12 I figured out the best way to avoid the toxicity was to cut my own father out of my life as much as I could. Fast forward I’m a young adult first relationship guy is exhibiting major red flags and manipulation. Thankfully I nope out at 2 months thanks to his blatant disregard for boundaries. With the help of the internet and friends I learn he probably has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) Realize my father also shows some signs. I tell my mom and she casually brings up the fact that a psychiatrist told her my father may have NPD. Everything I suffered through and the problems I still face as an adult are put into perspective. I really wish I knew sooner it may have helped me learn better ways to cope and help fight the mental conditioning of a narcissistic parent. I’m grateful I know now, and I want to tell my younger brother and sister but I’m not sure if I should. They both have better though not great relationships with him. My 80 year old adorable grandma who I love loves him so much she can’t see how toxic he is because he treats her so well. She can’t handle the knowledge of his disorder. If I told my siblings word would get out to her and rest of the family. I don’t want to cause any drama or pain. I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
When I was 11/12 I was “accidentally” told that the man I thought was my biological dad was not. My mother’s ex partner (who she had a child with, and who I completely despise) was in my room for some reason, and he was talking to me about something. He was just talking, then he said “so you know how __ isn’t your real dad?” I, obviously, had no idea. He realised that I didn’t know, and he quickly left the room to talk to my mother while I sat there in disbelief. My mother came into my room and told me that she had to choose between me and a relationship with my biological father. He wanted her to abort me, but she didn’t. I’m 14 now. I still can’t be in the same room as my mother’s ex (I didn’t like him before all of this happened, and this made me feel worse about him), and I have a burning hatred for the man. Now he just screams abuse at my mother down the phone, and he treats her like shit. They’re not together anymore, and my mother swears that she doesn’t love him anymore, but last year she was bearing his child and it died due to a miscarriage. I just can’t believe that she was going to have another child with him. He’s a smug little prick and he deserves to get the shit beaten out of him.
kinda late to the party but: my dad and my mom got pregnant with my older sister while my mom was in high school and my dad had only graduated the previous year. they stayed together, and 2 years later, they had me. years later, after i had graduated high school, the truth was told. for context: my dad and mom were in a very heated argument because my dad had just admitted he was having an affair and his mistress was pregnant. it was late at night, they must have thought i was asleep, but i overheard my dad yelling at my mom that she had no room to talk because she had cheated on my dad years ago, and in result she had me. after further investigation, my parents told me that my dad didn’t even know he wasn’t my “real” dad until i was 15. my mother never told him about the affair until then. needless to say after that my parents divorced, my dad married the woman he was having an affair with. i left, started my own life. this was years ago now, and i can positively say i am in a much better place mentally than i was then... but i still haven’t spoken to my parents in years.
My mom told me a long time ago, when I was about 15 or 16, that her grandmother who she was super close too was raped at one point in her life. I was shocked but I still saw her as a strong woman that was more of a mom to my mother than her mother. I found out that it was actually her abusive second husband that raped her. She got pregnant and had a backdoor abortion to spite her bastard of a husband. My mom told me earlier this year when we were having a talk about family history. I always thought before hand that someone just attacked her randomly and she never got pregnant. It... it's still horrifying to know that she went through so much.
The big family secret that everyone knew except for me: my dad isn’t my biological dad. Although I had my suspicions and constantly questioned it considering I’m biracial and my mom is white and so is my stepdad. Both with blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin .... tbh I thought I was just adopted lol
That my brother in-law molested my sister and that’s why my sister basically ditched the family for covering it up and when I confronted my sister and her husband they basically snapped at me and I ditched them too
when I was about 8/9 my mom told me her sister my aunt was an alcoholic and had tried to end her life. She was always here one day gone the next. I am a teenager now and believe she is living in a halfway house.
My grandparents threw a fit because my parents wouldn’t bring me to Christmas at their house when I had pneumonia. They cut us off BECAUSE I HAD PNEUMONIA. I WAS A YEAR OLD. It makes sense that I didn’t know them until they were 10...
I'm curious when this took place and where. First cousin relations weren't considered insest in most places just a few generations ago. Taboo by some but not illegal or insest. A lot of people would be surprised by how many second and third cousins would get married on the regular. The idea was people in your group had similar beliefs and ways of life. Plus, they knew a lot of the same people. It was a community thing.
Bro, same on the anti incest, but that was such a better choice then what most do. Also, I wonder if they knew always or if they found out later. Like what if you where dating someone only to find out after like two years, you were related.
First cousin marriages are legal, if inadvisable, in many jurisdictions - 2nd and 3rd cousins there is about 1/4 and 1/10 the genetic risk respectively compared to first cousins. By the time you get to 4th cousins you are about as likely to match a random person from the same population as you are the cousin.
is cousin marriage incest tho? I know in america some consider it inscest but in my religion cousin marriage is fine, tho most people where I'm from avoid it if possible since it makes them uncomfortable still. (I'm muslim if you're wondering, and I live in a muslim society) I ask my friends and fam about this and my fam doesn't allow cousin marriage even though it's legal and religiously fine. Kinda funny since it's allowed but almost no one does it here since it makes them feel weird and uncomfrotable asf. Especially since a lot of people grow up spending lots of time with their cousins, so cousins feel more like siblings for some people.
I met my paternal grandfather once when I was about 6 when visiting my father's side of the family during an emergency family reunion before my grandma died from cancer. hated the man the second I laid eyes on him and never knew why but pushed the feeling beside for years. I recently found out through my great aunt that my grandfather was an abusive bastard towards my grandma and his side of the family in general were shady people. Gotta love those gut feelings and I hope to God I don't have anything in common with that man.
When I was really little, about 3-4, my cousin came to live with us, and for a bit we weren’t allowed to play outside at all. Growing up my mom had a rule that we weren’t allowed to point toy guns at each other(we never had nerf or water guns). Found out at 30 that around that time, my aunt had a very abusive boyfriend and she was worried he would try to abuse my cousin so sent her to us. When she eventually kicked him out, he went looking for us to kidnap my cousin. He would threaten us over the phone and my dad made no mistake that he had a gun. Guy eventually gave up, tried to get back together with my aunt, failed, got drunk at a bar, nearly beat a man to death then died in jail.
My family all split up a long time ago. My dad told me that he would explain when i was older. I thought that somebody murdered someone or something like that. In reality a Catholic married a protestant and that caused a war in the family.
That my mom had two miscarriages and an abortion. I remember being told that I'm going to have another sibling in two seperate occasions. I remember grandma telling me to not to go to her room cause she was feeling sick and once someone told me in my face that the baby was dead - don't remember who it was. I was an easy kid, I could understand and move on when someone died without making a problem out of it. I remember my mom handling it just fine. Later in life I just couldn't understand why people were so sad about miscarriages. And she had an abortion too, after my brother was born. I found out thorugh a text my aunt sent my mom - I had the phone, didin't tell anyone. And something went wrong with it, she was bedsick for a month. Me and my siblings were super worried about it. I wish she told me about the wrong-went abortion, I was old enough for that and it probably could have saved me from being worried about her constantly for a month because I couldn't understand what was wrong and why anyone wasn't doing anything about it. Edit: hi I also found out that my mom had not one but FOUR abortions. Jesus christ these adult people can't even use proper fucking protection and almost got my mom killed over that.
My mom got pregnant twice after the middle child but was all miscarries. The first time was triplets and the second was twins. She tried operations to avoid pregnancy and ended up pregnant somehow with my youngest sister
My dad had a girlfriend while 3 months into marrying my mom. He even told my sister. They hardly love each other anymore, and they were supposed to get divorced in January of 2019, but they decided to work it out.
Last summer, I learned that my mother had placed a complaint for sexual assault on one of my uncle (her brother-in law, married to her sister). I learned that it had been happening since she was 7 years old, and that he had actually touched or groped every single one of her sisters, her mother, friends, his own daughter-in-law, and even strangers. My mother finally had enough when he actually pulled her away from the rest of the group at a family meeting to grope her again so she finally placed a complaint against him. Suddenly, I remembered all of the times as a kid, where I was NEVER alone with him. Whenever he wanted to show me something, whenever he wanted to talk with me, my dad or my mom would follow. When he was taking me outside of their house to see the ducks, my dad would follow. It finally dawned on me. I had never in my life been left alone with that man.
I found out that I might have a 10 year old half brother somewhere. My dad was talking to my stepmom, and I guess he thought I was asleep. I remember what he said: "Remember that crazy ex girlfriend I had told you about..? She has a son...But the thing is, he was born literally nine or eight months after I left her. And he looks a lot like me. She claims he is the son of her husband but they look nothing alike, and the math doesn't add up. I think maybe he's my son, but it's not like she'll ever admit it, and I can just waltz into that boy's life." Like, excuse me what? I have to live with the knowledge I might have a little brother that I might never meet?? I do actually plan on waiting until I'm an adult and he's close to being one, and maybe I'll try and reach out to him, maybe get a DNA test.
Your dad has every right to legally request a DNA test. Tbh if i was your dad i would talk to the ex gf and say. "Look, I honestly think this 10 year old is my son. He looks just like me. I want to know the truth. I want a DNA test. We can get lawyers involved if it comes to that, but i deserve to know if he is in fact my son. I'm not going to try to take him away or anything like that. I respect that your husband has raised him and i'm not going to come between that or mess it up. However if he's my son i want the chance to know him and watch him grow."
Growing up, I had (and still have) quite a few mental health issues. My parents were always in denial about it. Turns out that pretty much every member on both sides of my family (including my parents) have some sort of mental illness (bipolar, anxiety, depression are the main three). It all converged with my sister and I, though I got the worst of it (3/3 diagnoses). It explains so much, especially why no one talks about it (denial and preventing a domino effect of diagnoses). I wish that I had gotten help when I was small. It would have made a lot of my hardships easier to deal with, but instead I didn't get any sort of diagnosis/treatment until I was in my 20s. I don't want kids for a lot of reasons, but the chance of passing on mental illness is one of the big ones. I can't let the cycle continue.
Same with me. I'm 23 and I just started getting treatment for social anxiety and depression this year. It sucks that you can't depend on the people you lived with growing up to get help for these issues. I didn't know what it even was because they don't teach you about mental health in school. It was frustrating to ask for help because all my religious family thought of for help was praying which does jack shit. Now there's people I've met in my life who I can talk about what I'm feeling at least
@@Astro2024 I'm glad that you've found people in your life to talk to. You deserved to have those people when growing up, but better late than never, right?
The rabbit one breaks my heart. My rabbit recently died and the thought of may parents replacing him would tear me. However I had two so I still have a rabbit and he would’ve noticed that his bro was gone. RIP bun-bun
7:23 The father was probably in denial about his brother's illness. Interestingly, that points pretty strongly at the father having it too. I've noticed that some people think they can avoid "catching it" from their family members if they limit contact/try really hard/take whatever paranoid precaution which is in and of itself schizophrenic.
A few years after I graduated college, I learned that my great grandaunt murdered her husband with my great grandmother's help. She got married after WW1 lived in a shack on some old swampland her family owned. He would constantly beat her and put her down. One day, she went to visit my great grandmother and told her what was happening. They went back to her house, got him sleeping drunk, beat him in the head with a shovel, dumped him in the swamp and left. The next day they reported him missing to the police. They found his body three days later half eaten by alligators. The sisters lived together until they died. My great grandaunt took this to her grave, but my great grandmother confessed in a letter she left in her will. They kept that secret for 78 years.
Me and my two sister's were always asked to step out of picture's at christmas (only time we would see my dad side family) Grew up old enought to realise they didnt display our pictures in their home or social media only ones we were out. Never tought of it before but they are probably racist.. Dont see them now much
You should tag their pictures on your social media and mention them by relationship. "Look at my (relative's name) and what a great time their having!" Also get to know and positively influence the young generations so you're in their pictures. Edit: show them as examples of people who have embraced family and cultural differences.
Seems to be common, but I'll never understand one spouse getting it on with their spouse's sibling. I have a brother who tried this with my bride and she served him a restraining order. None of my SILs are attractive enough for me to have any notion of infidelity. To this day (45+ yrs later) its a mystery to me why they chose the woman they're married to.
It's likely not, actually. The mother of the child probably got pregnant young and was adopted by their mother's parents, making them their mothers sibling.
My mom didn't tell me until I was 22 that my father is her second husband. Her first one was having an affair with another man using her as a cover to make people think that he wasn't gay. (was the 80's) My mom and I were very close but she kept this a secret my whole life, it felt like a kick to the gut that she had been hiding something from me. It really shattered my trust in her.
I knew that I, the 5th and last child, was a surprise (my parents insistence on the word) and my parents didn’t want more kids after my older sisters (they were twins, which was a surprise in itself but they turned out to be a big handful) but I was still loved ....but what I didn’t know until I was like 17 was that I was unwanted for the first 6 months of my moms pregnancy with me. It honestly hit me pretty hard, and it hurts just knowing. (I’m her defense, she didn’t tell me this to hurt me, she was crying for heavens sake, but bc I guess I was going in to get tested for what I assumed was to be officially diagnosed with a sensory disorder (turned out to be “Surprise! You’re high functioning autistic!”) and I guess they may have asked about my mom’s relationship with me or something....and she just felt the need to tell me.)
Dang, reminds me of a theory that my dad raped my mom and had me, since i read in a website about their realationship. Never mentioned me. Only my sister and my half sister and brother. Im guessing they hid me from the public.. I figured that out a few weeks ago.. And it explains alot tbh.
My family "secrets" are very mild. I found out my mom and dad came very close to getting divorced when I was about 10. When my dad came back from Viet Nam, he started to (as my mom calls it) "cat around." She told him, shape up or ship out. He shaped up. My "secret" elicited a surprise confession from my mom. I was 4 months pregnant when my husband and I got married (he was the father). I was so scared and nervous that I had constant morning sickness and lost 30 lbs. - it kept me from showing, anyway. (as soon as I was married, the morning sickness stopped, and I mean, like, that afternoon) A month after I got married, I told my mom I was 5 months pregnant. I was afraid of her reaction because I was the "good girl" in the family. My mom was delighted that she was going to be a grandmother! Then she told me the only difference between her and I was that she didn't "get caught."
These videos are why, if I ever want to get a DNA ancestry thing, I am gonna mention it to everyone in my extended family and look out for weird answers. I probably would not be able to resist doing it secretly anyway after getting a suspicious reaction, but only after assuring everyone I am not doing the test. Then I won't have to talk about the results. My true motive? Reddit gold edit: Just asked my mom and she said I shouldn't do it but had no specific objection. 😶
My grandma lived with us for a great deal of my childhood. She essentially helped raise me. To me, this was always just the best, my grandma is the coolest chicken ever and I have some great memories because she was always there. Turns out she was actually living with us because my dad had found her alone in her home passed out having purposefully overdosed on sleeping pills. This isn't something that I found out until I was in my mid twenties. She was in the "hospital" for a while after the incident and before she moved in with us. My younger sister and I had been told that she was just sick. She's a smoker so we kind of just assumed it had to do with that. Apparently my grandma had the hardest life. Sexual, verbal, physical and psychological abuse from every other family member, husband or boyfriend. Her mother died when she was 16 and had been replaced immediately with someone who treated her awfully. She had been through at least three divorces (two of which were from some pretty fucked up dudes. This excludes my biological grandfather thank God, who she's actually still on decent terms with). All of this and more led to her developing a drinking and gambling problem that she's conquered with the help of her family. She is the most wonderful person you will ever meet and when I think about what she's been through, I can't help but start to sob. I love my grandma Marti. She will forever be my rock.
That my mother in law had a long term affair with a much older man having 2 children with the other man. The affair children were treated MUCH better than the 2 children she had with her husband. My father in law turned a blind eye to the entire thing. It was a total open secret inside the home. Everyone suspected, but no one said anything.
I found out my dad is gay when I was 16 when I asked his “friend” if they were dating while he was out of the room. Like nobody in my family told me. I had guessed that my parents had gotten divorced because my dad cheated on her but I didn’t know that it was with another guy
I’m not a teenager yet, but I’ve never known my real dad. Still at my age I’d think I’m old enough to know him. But I overheard one of my moms conversations, “I guess Natalie has a sister now.” She still hasn’t told me, if I didn’t hear that I wouldn’t know..
I don't know how people let rapists and pedophiles still be around the family knowing damn well
@@Liusila IKR my mother used to drop me off at my grandpa's house and say "if he tells u to lay down with him don't" she also left me alone at the house with her boyfriend's uncle who was a pedo and got very scared and yelled at me to lock myself in my room cause I was playing hide and seek with him I was only 5/6 her boyfriend also was a pedo and blamed me for being molested even tho I had obvious signs of stress she always left me alone with him when she had to work it happened from the age of 5 to 11 when I decided to move in with my biological mother to make it stop only to be raped by my older brother I was only molested before and when my biological mother found out I was molested she also blamed me and said I would probably say the same about her boyfriend so I never told her that her son is a rapist because of course she wouldn't believe me and hate me even more than she does now
I knew a super feminist who always ranted about men being predators. When it came out that her bf, being 25, groomed and banged a 13 year old.. she immediately began blaming the young girl saying she was a white and came in to him. People always rationalize it regardless of their "opinions"
I knew a girl who's older brother molested her. The parents knew, it just got swept under the carpet like nothing had happened. I couldnt be around that ****, needed a good kicking for what he did as you could clearly tell it affected her.
@@honestreviews7838 hey I really hope you're okay, that's an unbelievable amount of shit to have to go through
Vark R hey can you retype that little bit she was a white? Like what?
My mom ruined- RUINED her sisters wedding- like threw the presents in the dumpster ruined. My sister and i were 4/5 ish and were supposed to be flower girls. Made our family pariahs. Turns out her cousin had molested her as a kid, no one believed her then- only to have the family invite the creep and try to make my mom apologize for "the lie" and reconcile with him. We were the same age she had been and the idea of him in the same building as us was out of the picture. She said pick me or him- they picked him and she fucking lost it.
Suddenly makes sense why we dont talk to them.
I am sorry your mama went through so much pain. They don't deserve her.
Your mom had more chill then I would've had.
If I was in that situation, I probably would have been leaving in a cop car.
I hope you get the chance to fuck him up.
My husband's cousin went through the same shit but at family reunions. Her uncle molested her. None of the aunts would address him. She was to blame cause she was a wild child. He was also wild and creepy but everyone let him get away with it. Now karma is getting hers. He married a woman from Argentina. He would brag how much younger than him she is. She is very critical of him, treats him worse than garbage, lets him know what a pos he is, keeps him uncomfortable in his own skin. I can't wait to ask him how his 'younger wife' is doing and if the wedding bells ring loud. I love it. Everyone is hush hush about how she is to him, fair play.
Thats sad I'm sorry
"Never do more than one illegal thing at a time"
That's actually great parental advice, right there.
What
@@potmki6601 If you are going to commit a crime don't do more than 1. It's better to be caught for 1 crime than 3.
Mr.Wankpants
Truth z
"If you're gonna do something I'll have to punish you for DON'T GET CAUGHT" - Dad
My grandpa just always told me to make sure it was my word against theirs and nothing was in writing 😂😂
“Protect all children.” One of the best points made in this video
_murder all children_ would be much better.
when i was 12, i found out that my dad wasn’t actually my dad. turns out my biological father was this guy my mom dated in high school. all my life, he had come over every now and again to visit, and my parents told me he was a “family friend,” and that the three of them had been friends in high school. after finding out that he was my bio father, it all made sense: we had always had a close bond and i had always looked forward to him coming over. it also made sense why my “dad” always seemed to prefer my (half) sister over me. it was because she was his biological kid, and i wasn’t. ALSO, i found out much later on in life that my biological dad basically coerced my mom into having sex when she didn’t want to, and then a banded her/me when he found out she was pregnant. ALSO found out that apparently my grandma kind of tried to convince my mom to abort me? yikes.
oh and also i found out that BOTH my dads are registered sex offenders, both for statutory rape. turns out the nine-month “business trip” that my dad took when i was little was actually him going to prison.
i honestly kinda wish that i had never known any of this, because it really messed with my self-esteem. like, i went from being a normal middle school kid to suddenly being aware that i was an unplanned, almost-aborted bastard who was the product of rape. middle school is hard enough without having a full-on identity crisis.
It's not my place to tell you it's okay, but most of us are not planned, and those who were, had purpose of saving a relationship not worth saving or fulfilling parents' ambitions, which always ends in disappointment. In the end of the day, people just happen, and you're pretty normal.
Im sorry.
My dad have to be my mom not to abort me. Actually she told me just recently that she had 2 abortions before she found out she was pregnant with me. She also didn’t hold me that much when I was born. Both of my parents also basically let a women get away with abusing me for years when I was 2 or 3, she was my babysitter. Like this woman bit me and made me eat dog shit. Seriously your not alone, try to find a counselor it helps a lot!
Their past is their past, it doesn't who you are as a person. You are you, it's up to you to decide who you want to be.
@@babyscissors7558 bruh wtf I would have beat the shit out of them
A pedophile wasn’t charged in the old days, because his victims were ‘too tempting’??? What?!!!!
Crazy.
The cops were like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What confused me is why is family going anywhere near him/allowing him near them? If I found this out, I wouldn’t even be in the same state as him so there’s a smaller chance something can happen.
@@HaleyIsFunny If the family is such a serious business to these people that he doesn't get reported, then they'd go near him too. They probably loved the grandma, after all.
@@megatronVS yo what the fuck
This happens all the time with rape victims in general, including underage teens. It's obviously extra fucked up as an excuse for child molesters since most of us can't even begin to comprehend the idea of that being "tempting" but it's also fucked up when it happens to older people, so I guess if it's happening to anyone then it's only so much of a leap to apply the same fucked up logic to other victims.
Am I the only one that restarted almost every story because my small brain couldn't comprehend it
nope lmao
No
Ok good I thought I was stoopid
A lot of them were written badly
@@lauragallaher4529 Nah I'm just stupid
I used to wonder why my "sister" had my name on her arm as a tattoo along with her sons'. When I hit puberty I was eventually told my mom and dad are actually my grandparents and my "sister" is my mother. She was 17 when she had me and my grandparents adopted me.
This is why I get triggered when people laugh at shows like Eastenders having these storyllnes (they did it twice) saying they are needlessly dramatic and unrealistic; nope, plenty of people go through crazy shit like that and its kind of nice to have something to relate to and help others understand it too.
my grandma had my father when she was 17
That's unfortunately a pretty common scenario.
When I was 16, a 17 yr old girl I knew killed herself a couple years after finding out that was the case. The thing was, her "big sister" had never married but had another little girl when she was 6-7yrs old. Then when she was 15 she found out her sister was really her mom, had her at like 17-18 & had a job, but just didn't want the responsibility of being a single parent, so when she was gonna give her up for adoption the grandparents took her. Yet the mom then got pregnant again, broke up with the guy just like the 1st time, but for some reason chose to keep this baby even though her circumstances were exactly the same as before. The teenager couldn't emotionally reconcile the fact that in the exact same circumstances she was unwanted & often told "You're a bratty little sister, why should I visit home all the time to see you? I have my own life & my own kid to raise." while her "niece"/little sister was wanted & adored by the mom as "her only baby". It really messed her up & no amount of love from the grandparents that raised her & her friends could counter the fact that her mom had not loved her the same way as her sister. Her grandparents even took her to see a psychiatrist many times, but it didn't help. Her suicide note talked about how there must be something wrong with her because her mom didn't ever love her. I didn't go to the same school as her, but her best friend went to my school & my church, & my mom somehow knew the girl's grandma through work. They were all so devastated & I wondered why they chose to tell her at all if they had waited that long & the grandparents knew that their daughter had never attached to or cared about her 1st baby?
How did knowing this impact your family?
Adopt me*
39:30
That uncle deserves like all the hugs and praises that’s so sweet.
Damn right he does.
The one with the gay man and the woman who married each other to make him pass off as straight is just sad for everyone :(
The message from the poster to his/her parents at the end was probably well meant but came off as patronizing. The world was a different place 35 years ago, and that's assuming he's not from some country where the family would just kill him with impunity (and still would). 35 years ago would put the dad in the middle of the AIDS epidemic, when AIDS was a death sentence. Hard to comprehend if you didn't live through those times.
Also, assuming he was real young when they married, he's now a closeted gay man in his mid-fifties at minimum. Ask any older gay man how great it is to single and dating (and have a lot of family baggage) in a community that's always been all about youth and good looks. Come to think of it, this applies equally well to older single women. The parents probably figured they're better off as is. Leave them alone.
Also, I'm not sure what the wife of a gay man whom she married knowing full well he was gay has to "forgive" when he behaves like a gay man. I tend so assume those are women with low sex drives or some sexual hangup that want the security of marriage and family with someone they like and trust without being bothered for sex.
People get married for lots of reasons, and not being socially ostracized has always been on that list. Not every woman has always been interested in getting married, but it has most often always been expected by families, so it may have worked out just fine for both of them, considering. There are still lots of couples like this even today.
It's still pretty normal in my country
i’m tan and native american while both of my parents are white. my mom took a dna test and she was 0% native. a year ago one of my moms friends, i only know him as me john, died from cancer. she was really hurt even though they never really talked. he’s tan and native american, the same tribe as me... pretty sure i’m a product of an affair SO
aubrey michon Now I want to hear your dad’s reaction
This sounds like the guy from king of the hill, he is the guy with the glasses and has the Native kid who he says it his and his wife's. (but its actually john redcorn's kid)
N i c e
Joeseph!?
How can he be the same Tribe as you if your parents were white? Unless they were Celts, white people aren't tribal. I think you mean he has the same genetic liniage as you.
When I was 20 years old, my mom drunkenly told me that my grandma most likely died on my 3rd birthday but she convinced the coroner to fudge the date of her own mother’s death so as to not spoil my future birthdays with the idea that my grandma died on the same day. At first I thought it was messed up but then I realized my mom did that out of love for me and I’ve come to appreciate her for it.
What a thoughtful mom!
Did your grandma intentionally die on your birthday? If it was natural causes, it was meant to be for a specific reason.
My great grandmother died the day after I was born and so now my family refuses to acknowledge my birthday because it makes them all sad to think of. I am now 18 and I absolutely hate my birthday because my family acts like it isn’t even there, while also posting on the internet about my great grandmother’s death.
Your mom is an angel
@@juliannagk9079 You great grandma survived long enough to see you born. She held out for you. Has it occurred to your family that death is part of the life cycle. Did they really think she would live forever. Maybe you need to respond that it was your birthday and you have yet to celebrate it in 18 yrs. They will say you are selfish but throw it back in their face about the last birthday they celebrated and ask why they think you are undeserving of recognition. When they start yakking about her death, remind them that it was the day after your birth and she waited to see you brought into the world. She would have wanted you to be celebrated on your special day and then she would have the next day, if she was that type of person.
Send the worst offender(s) birthday cards, wishing them a happy birthday, adding even though they never celebrated yours and it would have been thoughtful and considerate to have a party just like the one they will have. Throw a wet blanket on that party. I would not bother attending bc they will single you out and try a send you on a guilt trip. They are probably a toxic lot and have to make someone miserable. You will meet so many good ppl.
My husband had a friend whose family never celebrated any type of day, cult religious reasons. We were the first to celebrate all important days with him. It felt so good to do the firsts with him. When you find someone to share your live with, let them know they are popping your happy day celebrations. It will be extra fun.
My grandma passed this year June 15th. And my birthday this year was on Father's Day, June 16th. I wanted so bad for her not to pass on Fathers Day because I didnt want anyone to associate it together and make it harder. I dont think anyone was paying attention to what the next was besides fathers day. Fathers day changes date every year. And I am glad that i will always have a reminder of when she passed and keep her with me through out the year. I miss her so much. I wish we could have had more holidays with her. I regret everything I've never done with her. I fucking miss her so much.
@@juliannagk9079 Your family is neglecting your emotional needs and you deserve better
"My mother planned me but my father did not" is the most OOF sentence I could've ever read.
that's my case... my dad was 20 and she was 26. he just finished nocturnal high school and want to go to college so she tried to keep him with me :/ ... they got merry when I was 1 year old.
I don't know what OOF is, but I think I get the emotion anyway
Lol right as I read this that story came on
@@potmki6601
It's pretty much another form of saying yikes.
hey! this is grimes and elon story
The one about the aunt and her girlfriend, same. Figured it out myself when I was about 20. They have been together for my whole life, live in a beautiful home out in the country, and have been through so much together. It’s actually a very beautiful relationship.
The story about the uncle trying to keep his mom's husband from raping his niece was so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
Not somthing I was told, but somthing I figured out. Growing up, my grandpa liked to tell me stories. He once told me about his childhood pet, a duck, he raised himself. One day he come home from school to find his duck had died in the bathtub. He said the duck couldn't get over the edge of the tub so it got exhausted from swimming and drowned. Tragic story, but it became even more tragic after i got older and learned that A:ducks are probably amongst the hardest birds to drown and B: my grandpas older brother has a history of abusing and killing animals. So, it's more likely then not my grandpas duck was murdered. I never had the heart to tell him, he still gets sad about that duck
So small but so devastating news
I don't even know you or your grandpa, but I will avenge his duck
My animal loving heart just broke.
grandpa's brother might be a psychopath, keep an eye on him.
@@TarotReaderASMR he is already dead, thanks for concern tho. And your right, he definitely was a psychopath
Did I really just watch a 40 minute video about families essentially breaking over secrets?
Yes, yes I did.
IT WAS 40 MINUTES LONG
WTFF
Wow! I didn’t realise it was THAT long?!
literally
I legit didn't even realise. Holy fuck.
My uncle died in 1995. My grandma used to tell me that he had hit his head, after falling from a staircase. During high school, I'd find any excuse to stay at home, because I hated my classmates (in Italy teachers are the ones who need to move from classroom to classroom, so there was no escape for me, I was stuck with those bitches), and I frequently asked my parents to let me skip school for the day. My mother was always very reluctant to do so and told me to go to my grandma's, because she didn't want me being alone; this seemed really strange to me, because I was old enough. Two years ago, after my usual outburst, I heard a conversation between my parents... well, I only heard my mother yell: "just so you remember, Daniele (my uncle) killed himself while he was alone at home!". I now know the reason behind her strange behaviour.
I swear, in some of these stories, trying to figure out which aunt is which, whose dad is whose cousin, and which brother smashed which sister is like solving a differential equation
When my older brother was younger he planed a sunflower seed, for months he would go out and stare at it for hours watching it grow. One day my mom got off early and pulled the sunflower he was watching and put in a full grown one (she was a groundkeeper so she cut down hundreds that day) it went from a 3 inch sprout to a massive 3 foot/1 meter flower and he got so excited. It died 3 days later. He found out 3 years ago and never suspected a thing.
The one wholesome thing here
So she replaced the living plant he was learning patience and caring for, and replaced it with a full grown chopped off flower that quickly died. Why can't adults just let kids learn things instead of trying to trick them into being happy over things that aren't real?
the one about the tough mountain man grandpa almost made me cry ngl
It was like the sweetest one out of the bunch
Sane
Yeah. i read Heidi too......
It made me cry I’m crying right now omg
All my life my grandpa was treated amazing by any military personnel never bought a drink in a bar but he always said he just did his part in ww2 turns out he was a extremely decorated soldier winning the second highest military medal in my country
Well, he's not wrong just wanted t be humble I guess
You should be proud of him!
how would anyone else know to buy his drink then if it was a secret?
@@shadowcultist Other military people or people who knew their history (re: high honor medals) might recognize him, but I guess he didn't brag on himself. Maybe not as much a secret as just...being humble? Or even possibly that he doesn't like thinking of being in a war and the trauma associated with it, so leaves it at 'I did my part.'
My mom and I were talking about things I remembered, and I remembered going to a nice place once a month to visit my dad for a while. It had a large lake you could walk around, with meetings and such. I brought that up, and it turned out to be a rehab center, bc my dad was a drug addict until I was 7... that was fun to find out
Better you didn't know than having to pin him to the ground because he's trying to murder everyone every other week
Mood 😔😔 😔
I really hate that this happened to you, but also that anyone can relate. Had the same thing happen when I was younger, I always thought it was just a hospital cause my dad hurt his hip but it was most definitely not.
Is he okay now?
Felt that-
When I was little my dad decided to let his best friend at the time live with us, my dad put a mobile home in our yard so he could live there. He had everything in there computer, TV, etc. Provided by my dad. I used to love this guy he would give me candy and would tell me that I am beautiful. Time past and he moved out 2 weeks later after moving out, the fbi woke us up at 5am to search our house. It was really traumatizing, especially because they arrested my dad in front of me. Turns out they were blaming my dad for searching and watching Childporn on the Internet. At the moment I was just confused as why I was getting interrogated asking me if I was every sexually abused by my dad. The fbi was at our house the whole day, they took the cuffs off my dad as they searched his computer and found nothing. Turns out my dads best friend had been consuming cp the whole time he had lived with us. My dad set his best friend up so they could arrest him as he was one of the most searched pedofiles in Arizona and they arrested him outside of my house.
Sorry, so your dad KNEW he watched cp and let him live in ur house so that he would take his guard down and that way the police could track home down?
@@loading1345 the dad set his best friend up after the police showed up. I would've probably done more than that if I found out they were a pedo and I let my child be around them
I'm so sorry
All these long stories then you get “my parents were swingers” 😂
I watched this whole thing before realizing it was over 10 minutes.
Same
Alexandra Adams what the heck I just realized this was forty minutes long
I didn't realize that until I saw this comment.
I didn’t realize til you mentioned and looked
CALUM❤️❤️😂
My story has three events that I couldn’t really get my young child mind to comprehend. The first one was coming home one day to my parents owning a gun. Like I went to school with my father proclaiming that he doesn’t have the courage to hold a pistol to watching him shoot entire rounds at a target zombie while doing homework. The next was about a month later and happened when I hit a window really hard to kill a bug and set off the security (which was odd because it was noon and the sun was shining). My mother freaked and shoved me, my sister, and her into her master closet and holding a pistol to the door until I told her that I was the one who set off the alarm. The final and normalest of these incidents was when I noticed that a car would always follow Mommy’s car wherever she went. It was never the same model or color but I knew that they were following us. My mother didn’t seem to mind though so I didn’t either. I even told Mom that my favorite “shadow car” was the red Prius because it was the same car as Daddy’s.
It wasn’t until I was fifteen did I learn that my family as being stalked.
It all started when this man threatened my father (a doctor) that if he didn’t get his opioids, he would kill his wife and his daughters then him. My father didn’t think much of it (Wisconsin had a huge opioid problem) until little packages started to show up without stamps/return addresses and phone calls at three am to only be met with silent breathing. My family finally went to the police who encouraged my parents to purchase a firearm (my mother is a good shot to this day), a undercover cop to follow my mother where ever she went, and a formal order to my school to never let anyone other than a man-in-uniform, my father, or my mother to pick me up. This went on for months until he was apprehended.
Turns he tried to pick up me (7 years old) and my sister (5) from school. He confessed to police that if the school didn’t tip off his location and if he got a hold of me and my sister, he was going to shoot us both behind the head and bury us on the banks of Lake Superior. He’s in jail now with a life sentence and no chance of parole.
Pallama that’s crazy
Wow, what a fascinating story. I can really visualize your parents' struggle and the anecdote about your "favorite shadow car" is strangely adorable.
How did he get a life sentence without actually having killed anyone? I'm just curious.
In any case, your family must've been influential to have received due police protection when it was truly needed (not a lot of people do). Glad he's locked up and can't hurt you anymore
Wow
Well... fuck...
Did anyone besides me have trouble following the familial relationship in most of these?
Oh thank god, i thought my reading comprehension got really bad.
Sammy Stoltzman 😂❤️😂
Cheryl Bailey I would try to do a kinship chart. Lol
alyssa caeytano These family trees are more like brambles!
Cheryl Bailey I think margret has the colon cancer?
My relationship with my father's side of the family has always been a little tense.
When I was little, at family gatherings I always tried to fit in but it somehow felt awkward. My cousins wouldn't talk or play with me and one of my aunts always gave me the stink eye. It didn't matter how hard I tried, they seemed to not like me. And it didn't stop there, they were rude to my mom too. Like they would completely disregard that we were there and ignore us (while still glaring at us thinking that we wouldn't catch them). They almost threw a tantrum on my 15th birthday because I invited my mom's family (who rised me and took care of me when my parents couldn't).
Once I asked my mom why they didn't like us but still seemed to treat my dad well. Turns out that they were part of a cult (and some still are) back when my parents were dating, and tried to get my dad to join them. In that cult their leader decides who gets to marry who. At that time my uncle had cheated on his wife and married his girlfriend, abandoning his previous family in the process, his new wife had a daughter from a previous marriage and they wanted my dad to marry the daughter (who was already pregnant from her bf) and join the cult even though they knew my dad was ALREADY dating my mom.
They even tried to push my dad to make advances on the daughter but he refused. My mom realized what was happening and she told my father to choose, it was her or the daughter. He chose my mom. They married and a few years later I was born.
So long story short, they hate my mom because she ruined their opportunity to get my dad to join the cult and she refused to get converted to their religion. And they hate me because i'm the living reminder of this event.
Your dad made the right choice.
im sorry, what the actual fuck? that's messed up on a lot of different levels
😮
Those people are crazy and your parents seem reasonable, so the real question is why they would subject you to years of unaddressed emotional abuse from them
For some context, this whole thing starts around Bristol, England, roughly in the early 1930s.
Basically, my great-great-grandfather was the Earl of this area and had an affair with one of the maids. That said maid got pregnant, and thus my great-grandmother was born.
To avoid the shame of having an illegitimate child and ending his marriage he fired my great-great-grandmother and sent her money to help care for their child. When my great-grandmother got older, around 10-ish, he sent her to India to be educated and avoid suspicion because he and my great-grandmother looked very alike. My great-grandmother was sent to India instead of some fancy boarding school was because my great-great-grandfather knew a lot of wealthy people and was paranoid people would find out.
My great-grandmother was still studying in India during World War Two and and learnt how to shoot a gun and briefly dated an Indian soldier.
After the war ended she came home to her mum, my great-great-grandmother, and joined the Communist Party when she turned 21.
She never knew who her father was until her mother was on her death-bed and confessed. By this point it was far too late since her father died during the war, and my great-grandmother decided not to say anything to her step-mother out of fear of a lawsuit or any other kind of legal retaliation.
But my great-grandmother did eventually settle down, moving south to a rural village, nearby where I live today since my family stayed local, where she then had a daughter of her own. Who had a daughter, who then had me. I found all of this out pretty recently, and whilst it was by no means a secret to my grandmother and my mother, I still thought it was pretty neat.
Did she remain a Communist?
"my youngest uncle is actually my eldest cousin"
help
kendall Grandparents raising a sibling’s kid as their own.
OP's grandparents raised their oldest grandchild as their own
Daddy grandpa
Ohhhhhh lord help *that* soul lmao
kendall
*alabama noises*
Holy shit this video was depressing. Even though my parents divorced when I was 4, I never knew why, and it wasn't until I was 19 years old, I asked my Mom why they divorced, she said "ask your Dad", my dad said " what did your Mom say?", I said she, she said to ask you. He then told me it was because he was drinking too much, and one night when he was drunk he hit her. She took me and left the house and never went back. (Later confirmed by my Mom, when I told her what dad said) But my entire childhood I never remember a bad word between them or about the other in front of me. My mom said she made my dad promise in the divorce to never talk bad about each other in front of me. I just grew up with parents that lived in different cities, no bad memories of fighting/bickering and all that other shit too many kids have to live thru.
I can't thank my parents enough for doing the very best thing possible for me, and just letting me grow up being a happy kid. I was one of the lucky ones!
You are lucky!!!! I'm jealous
But yer mum wasn't!
Peter Bell I grew up with the arguing and knowing they are unhappy it hurts it’d be easier to divorce but they are doing it for us
You’re parents divorced at when you were 4 umm guess what my parents divorced when I was 1 and part of it was because of me
Peter Bell
At least your parents were kinda civil about it.
The aunt living with the “close friend” is funny cause as a kid, living with your best friends seems like a great idea and tbh idk why when we grow older we don’t consider it more, especially if u are not the married-living kinda person
Because the best way to ruin a friendship is to live with them.
Familiarity breeds contempt in a lot of cases
Some people are best not to live with
i actually have an aunt who lives with a "close friend" but they actually are just best friends for some reason lmao so when i was like 12 i was like hold on aren't they gay but i asked my mum a few years later and it turns out they really are just best friends that travel the world together sometimes (obviously before covid)
My husband's cousins live together (two sisters each with a daughter) and it seems like the perfect situation.
My great grandma would joke that I was switched at birth or that I was the "milk man's" baby all the time when I was a kid. Also dealt with family treating me different than my brother. When I turned 21 I was told that the man who raised me was not my dad and that when I born he was 18 and just stepped up to be my dad. Also I am the first born. Everyone blamed me for him not living more of his life I guess, and my gram was trying to give me secret messages to let me know. :/
It's not a baby's fault for ANY decision made by adults. Fucking idiots
@@cookeymonster83 preach, like its the parents decision, not the entire family's. If they're happy, they shouldnt make comments abt it
@@dinglebarry528 awww 🥺 that’s super sweet, and I’m so glad you weren’t mad at your mom. They seemed like wonderful people. God bless!
Pretty sh!try of your grandma. Not your fault.
When I was younger, my mom told me that my dad can't work and gets a check every month because he hurt his back while working and he had PTSD from when his mom died when he was younger. My mom also said that my dad couldn't read well because he had very bad eyesight even with glasses so she would have to spell things out for him or tell him what words said. Growing up, my mom would convince my dad to stay at home when we would go to meet my teachers or my parent's friends and such. Just recently when I turned 18, I found out that my dad is intellectually disabled as in he has a very low IQ. My dad was in special education classes all his life. He has never been able to read or understand many things like jokes or complicated stories. This shocked me when I found out because I never realized he wasn't normal until I was told this. He did a great job of raising me and helping me with things even with his disability. He is very happy and brags to have raised a kid that has a 4.0 in school and is going to college in a few months. I am kind of worried about my future children and if I may pass on a carried gene for the intellectual disability, though.
I know this is from a year ago but it depends on who you have kids with. If that person has a parent with the same case, then (usually) the chances are 50/50. You have a stronger chance of passing an intellectual disability to yours kids (due to him being your parent), and if they express the gene-or not, your kids can also have a chance as well.
Instead of fearing for the unknown, ask your father for tips or I’m sure you picked up certain behaviors that would make it easier for someone with experience to pick up on. Anyways, you seem to be an understanding person, so I’m gonna assume you would be accepting of your child regardless. It’s more like-I don’t want them to go through that struggle and for me to live with that ongoing stress (that your mother have endured). It’s not easy raising, loving, or caring, but you family most likely raised you to not pay attention the disability.
I used to think my dad was a fruit seller. Which was odd because we lived in the city with a small yard and no plants. However I would always hear him on the phone saying "Yeah I have 80 oranges I can get rid of at 5 each" or " I have 200 grapes i can do for 800" I thought we never have anything but bananas in my house and my dad is so stingy.
Turns out my dad was a drug dealer and those were code names. I was only around 6 so how was I to know?
😂😂😂I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh...but the part about you thinking your dad was stingy, is hilarious😂😂
5 bucks each for the orange ones is a pretty good deal, but 800 bucks for 200 of the purple ones is a crazy cheap price. I guess you really so save buying in bulk.
Never have I been more thankful that my fam is just as peaceful and boring as it could get.
No fair ;-;
Just wait, honey. I thought the same thing too
Time for a DNA test lol
It's really a rarity to have a "normal" family
Just wait
I found out my sister was actually my half sister when I was 18, turns out my mom was pregnant when she met my dad. He didnt mind, and raised her like his own. Also that one of my uncles was actually my cousin, my aunt had him at a young age, and her mom took custody. My aunt was raped by her stepfather, and it was his kid.
@beverly ledbetter When you are strong enough and ready, tell your mom using very specific examples, write them as you remembered and now when it happens. Let her know how it affected you. Remind her that you never asked to be brought into the world, it was of her own doing and she needs to own up to it.
When I was a kid I had a stepmom and a 16-year-old stepsister. She would backtalk my dad and slam cabinets/doors in a way that would would get me knocked right out. I never understood it. Once she also told him to keep his hands off of her, which I thought meant he would get physical with her like he did me. Anyway, her bedroom was right next to mine and her door squeaked horribly and woke me up often in the middle of the night. One day I oiled it, thinking I was doing a good deed. The next morning, both she AND my dad were absolutely livid with me… for oiling a squeaky door! Years later, I realized the squeaky door was a secret signal and they were actually screwing each other. This was 30 years ago. They maintained a good relationship until his death and it was never spoken of.
I have a son and a daughter so that story about the mom sleeping with her son and that son being in love with his sibling really made me sick to my stomach at the thought of that.
Never go full Oedipus.
That I was German.
My grandfather defected during WWII with my grandmother. He WAS a soldier, was a nazi. His entire family was threatened with death and grandmother was pregnant at the time.
And they almost were killed on the way out, two moving trucks. They caught the wrong one on fire.
The thing grandpa was forced to do haunted him to his very last days. I actually started living with him and was his caregiver.
He was only allowed to u.s, because he could read doppler radar something that back then was a skill not many had. He was 19 years old when this happened. He died about 5 year ago.
My parents said they never told us kids bevause there was a fear of nazi hunters. And you know kids are so good at keeping secrets.
If you dont mind me asking, how do you feel now knowing about him? Im sure it was difficult, no?
Did you ever ask if he was SS or just the regular Heer? I'm guessing SS since your parents were scared of Nazi hunters
@@Em-yd9jn I only learned details while being his caretaker. I didnt ask details just that he could read doppler radar. Was a soldier and had some rank. What rank no idea. He waa given a fresh start along with my grandmother. By the time they tried to get his parents out they were killed by then. So only my grandma and grandpa made it out while she was pregnant not with my dad but my aunt.
I didnt want to ask details. The remorse and terrors he had with dreams and everything the man clearly still suffered for it. And my opinion he spent his entire life trying to repent for it. So I didnt want to know everything either. I was of the mind set "he is good now and that is what matters"
My dad doesnt know. He knows he is german but the only thing he knows about his own dad was being in the airforce. High rank.
I dont know how to tell him, or if I even should or if I even have the right to. They never had a close relationship but I dont even know if my own family will believe me. The aunt that knew just died herself this year. Grandma dead. Grandpa dead. Everyone that knew it first hand is dead. And we went through grandpa's house all his things he didnt keep a thing from those days. So I have no proof except the stories of a dyeing man.
@@overlandtoshore if i didnt know the man he was while i was growing up my feelings would be different i am sure. But the man he spent his entire life after becoming, it haunted him till his last days. No punishment ever given to him could have been more justified for any victims. He told me he saved a few. He could only save those few.
I have admiration for him and grandmother. They both spent their entire lives after that trying to repent. Church, prayer. Become better people. As a child I saw them as nothing but pure. As a teen I had been told they always weren't. They used to drink and smoke heavily.
But they stopped and sobered up when their dog died over 4p years ago.
Regardless of what happened back then, he spent his entire life trying to make up for it. He served in air force for the u.s for many years after. Two wars he was in. So....I feel he has earned my respect.
At first I will say I had thought about it all night. I couldnt sleep and had to use the internet to research some facts because I didmt want it to be true...but then things began to make sense. Why the moving truck fire happened that they lost everything in and proof or momentos of being in germany. The drinking, the struggles....how he always said he wouldnt go to heaven. It began to make more sense, and with his screaming In the middle of the night what else was I to do? He was dieing. The last thing I promised to do, was be there until he died. So I stayed. I took care of him watching him go insane as he slowly just....dementia and memory issues hit hard and fast. Then he was gone.
I'm not sure I wanted to know. If I'm better knowing. And I dont know if I can ever tell my father about his own dad.
@@shinko6342
As an actual german citizen with german grandparents I know that that is always somewhat hard to accept. However the fact that he defected and felt guilty points to the direction that he wasnt a nazi. Nazis are technically only those that were either in the party or the people who actually follow the ideology. Compared to that my grandparents were children at that time so they probably actually believed the propaganda. What I am trying to say is that there is a whole nation who has german ancestors from that time and many of these ancestors were way less heroic than your grandfather. That is what I would call your granfathers actions, heroic. Not many people made those decisions and most people today wouldnt either.
Something similar to one of the stories here happened to me. My mum was pregnant with twins when I was about 5. My parents later stopped talking about it and didn't explain what had happened, because I was so young it never really solidified in my mind that she was going to have a baby so I never really thought about it. When I was about 15 my mum told me that the reason the pregnancy stopped was because the twins were severely disabled and keeping them would have meant that me and my sister would have likely spent most of our lives caring for them. My mum and dad decided that their quality of life would have been awful and that it was more humane to just get an abortion.
P.S. My parents have had an extremely hard time with pregnancy before me and my sister (e.g. 4 miscarriages) and my parents were in their late 20s to early 30s when they started trying for kids.
That’s horrible, must have been strange to hear about.
No offense but iif ur mom abortioned the ids thats more inhumane. Thos were two lifes, disabled or not
Alana Rose Yeah, but it’s their choice if they want to abort their child or not. I’m sure they didn’t do it just because.
@@alanar1239 no offense but you are a fucking idiot. Please stop consuming my precious oxygen
@@cookeymonster83 can you not be rude to someone who has different opinions then you?
“i didn’t know one of my cousins existed” lmao me too i just met like 10 of them over the break
I don’t even know all my Aunt’s names let alone my cousins. And I’m not on speaking terms with anyone on my mum’s side...
as an albanian i can assure you , that noone knows the whole family tree
Lmao when I went to Vietnam I had way more than 3 cousins. Turns out I had like 26 of them at my bday and like 72 more that were long distance so they didnt show up?
At some I found out that I have another cousin and I was an aunt and a bunch of people who I've never seen in my life, me and my brother was joking about what if all the stranger that we never pay attention to in our normal daily life were actually some long distance relative.
Lmaooooo my mom and my dads sides are both native (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents EVERYWHERE) and what makes it worse is that my step dad is Mexican so.... Meeting new people each family gathering on all sides of the families!!! 😂😂😂
I was always told my older cousin who died before I was born fell off her bike and hit her head turns out she died from a drug overdose at 12
Oh shit, I could guess like age 17/16 or something but 12!?
Ok, Im confused on one of them. "My grandpa wasn't forced into early retirement because he stole someone's teapot, he was stocking up on guns." I feel like there should be much more to this story, so he got forced into early retirement because he was stocking up on guns?
6:27 "Who knew, as a child, you can't trust your own father?"
Me: *raises hand*
Ethan Emmet why?
@@Nada-ux4we Long story short, alcohol, anger issues, fighting with mom and abusing my older sister, left mom unexpectedly with three children, tried to take me after they split by picking me up from school (before mom took him off the list), went to court, he tried his damn best to avoid paying child support, married his mistress and pretends I don't exist. I could write a whole novel going into detail on what he did to my mother and my family, he was nothing but toxic to everyone.
Me too, me too.
@@EchoFrost13 He has to pay child support even when you come of age via unpaid back child support. If he doesn't pay it, he can get his wages garnished and/or it can come out of his tax returns. He can also go to jail for it. For most ppl the only way they learn is when they are hit in the pocketbook. If you can, continue to go to school (college/university), depending on your state laws, he has to continue paying child support until you are out of school and stay unmarried. Look up the laws and continue contributing to his miserable life. Don't let your mom get away from receiving child support. He had an equal role in your conception. You and your family should not have substandard lifestyle bc of his selfish unwillingness to pay. Write down his toxicity and read it every time he attempts to get back in your life. Send a copy of your "novel" on his next big birthday, ie 40, 50, 60. He will be miserable and alone on his deathbed.
Had to edit this: He has to pay child support while you are in school until you are 23 (as long as you are single, too). So continue going to school after high school.
Me.... and i HATE him
15:14 "So mum why do I not see much of uncle bob he seems nice" "Oh that's because he's wanted by the FBI for making biological weapons*
*spits out coffee* "WHAT?!" "Yep your uncle always loved chemistry hahaha"
shadowXXe I Guess he had great chemistry with the subject
This made me laugh so freaking hard.
I didn't know your uncle was Walter White
re: potential autistic. My daughter was not diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum until she was 33. Explained A LOT. When she was really starting to exhibit some of the symptoms (around 6 or 7 y/o), the evaluators said she had emotional and learning disabilities. Back then, autism was a "boy's issue," not a girl's. So many girls were unfairly labeled because they presented behaviors in a different way. Only recently are they really coming around to the idea that girls can be high functioning autistics (Aspies). Looking back it makes SOOOO much sense. It would have helped a lot, I think, with her self-esteem, if nothing else, if we had known. I am just glad that the county we lived in was starting to address mental health issues in school. She was in a special program from middle school on that helped her a lot (but they still did not call it autism).
@@xionmemoria Maybe don't be so judgmental of someone who doesn't have all the knowledge on the subject, teach them not berate them.
Xion Memoria Asperger’s syndrome hasn’t been removed form the autism spectrum. I’ve no idea where you’ve picked that up from, but it IS now set apart from types of high-functioning autism. (A-level psychology was enough to teach me this.)
Aspie is not offensive lol that's something that people with aspergers call themselves
@@xionmemoria who finds it offensive? Neither me nor anyone I ever met in the community thinks that, we even call ourselves "aspies" because it's easier for little children to say it.
My mum worked out I have aspergers and then used it against me. She would buy books on how difficult it is having a child with aspergers so I knew how difficult I was and would constantly remind me of how I was different and not normal. I think she has undiagnosed mental issues but just in case, please dont do this anyone who has a child or knows someone with aspergers. Its very hurtful and made me feel very depressed and suicidal because she seemed to blame me for all her problems. Hoping this isnt what you meant at all, but that explained A LOT thing just took me right back there. Thankfully shes eased off all that now I'm away from her most of the time, still no clue what her mental health issue is, but I understand it as just that, something she is not in control of, I dont belittle her like she did to me I just try and help and try and understand
That my father was known in the family as a sexual predator, after he moved on my then 13-yr-old cousin, trying to get her to drink with him. He used to tell me I was more fun when I was drunk. The family that knew that I was a young girl trapped with a predator said not one word about it. They did enjoy gossiping about the ways it wrecked my life, though.
My dad had gone to a place where we could only see him once a week and we got him jolly ranchers. It ended up being rehab for meth
Even though my uncle and I have very similar personalities, I had always wondered why he never seemed to take commitment seriously and never seems to want children. Or at least until recently when I discovered that he had an ex wife I had never known about, apparently they were married long before I was born and according to my grandmother she was a very gorgeous woman. Well, I guess her looks were the only thing she had going for her, because she ended up running off with his best friend while they were still married and she ended up dying a few months later due to unknown causes. Her unexpected death and that betrayal absolutely crushed him to his soul and I really can't blame him for being wary of that type of commitment. To be honest, after hearing that story I'm actually proud of him for having the strength to move on from that and still managing to have the courage to get remarried to my aunt, and fortunately they go together like Cheesewiz and Ritz crackers and are very happy together.
I worked at a pet store and I never understood the "replacement" thing though it happens all the time. Parents come in and have to buy a hamster that looks EXACTLY like the old one did. Children can be smart and understand when things are just gone. I never understood why parents had to lie about their pet dying.
Unfortunately to shield their child from reality of mortality. To keep them as ignorant as possible because we assume kids would breakdown if they realized people can die.
@@callmema14 Honestly if your child is gonna have breakdown better early than later, while stakes are lower and there's more time to fix up your life, cause you can dream all you want, breakdown is coming, only thing you're doing is delaying it, and sometimes when it happens post 15-20 years, it just ends up in suicide.
I don't know how I feel about this. My family never sugar-coated anything. When A pet died, they took me up to the dead body so that I had proof it was dead. Looking back, I think i was so I had closure, and to understand that living things die if not cared for.
i agree. when i was 11 my mom died. i was stoic and fine about it until a year later when i had a mental breakdown. i probably would have been better off in a mental health hospital. i raged constantly, barely ate, isolated myself, was suicidal. since it came so suddenly no one knew why, everyone in my family just accepted it. but since then i have definitely gotten much better and healed from that. last year i put two and two together and realized it may have been influenced by my mom's death. i just didnt understand the concept of mortality. it makes me wish i had, since her death wasnt unexpected. if i had had a pet, though, and that pet died, i imagine i would have accepted the death much better than i did. when parents shield their kid of learning a hard lesson like the death of a pet, it means the kid has one less experience to look back on and relate to and may get in the way of healing. complete honesty is the best option you can go for most of the time in these situations.
In fact a hamster is a LOT better way to learn about death and letting go before you actually have to lose a person close to you. It's like a trial run.
34:41
I've suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for the past several years. This story gave me a reason to live and pull my shit together: to be the coolest uncle I can be for my future nieces and nephews.
You always have a reason to live. Parents, friends, loved ones. More people care for you than you know. Even me and I'm a random stranger on the Internet.
I used to have those thoughts too, when I was younger. I was bullied a lot in school and it really hurt my self esteem. I felt like I wasn't worth it and that everything they said was true. Now, I know that it wasn't.
No one is worth enough to make you want to kill yourself, hurt yourself or otherwise. Life is a gift, it's the only one we have. Tomorrow, you might save someone's life. Tomorrow, you could find $20 on the sidewalk. Like Annie said, "the sun will come out tomorrow"
Keep your chin up. It may be bad now but, you have plenty to look forward to. 😊
Same. I went to visit family for Christmas..my niece is so fun..but my sister hates me. Breaks my heart. Thinking suicide often. It's been a rough life
I’m my grandpa’s favorite, and I know that he’s a sweetie. I also have a tough mountain man grandfather, but he’s got a soft spot for me and always has. I obviously don’t go around telling my siblings and cousins, and so it’s our little secret I guess. He’s actually a really sweet and kind old dude, always helping people out and hiding it. He’s just got a stone face and is pretty reserved. He is a Vietnam vet after all.
I don’t understand why people keep molesters around and risk it. My family did that and I now no longer have a relationship with them, ignoring it the worst thing you can do and I’ll never let my kid around anyone like that knowingly
I wasn’t too aware of it for years, but my great-grandmother was buried apart from my great-grandfather. Considering he’d died before I was born, I never really considered him as a person-person, so even if I’d known about this happening, it must’ve slipped my mind.
As it turns out, this was intentional on my great-grandmother’s part.
At some point, before she passed, the family recovered old photos of his from when he’d traveled on a merchant ship for his job and apparently one such photo was of a Japanese lady with some not-very-Japanese kids.
Despite being very Catholic, I guess Great Gran died pissed at her cheating husband enough to demand being buried as far away from him as she could.
We don’t talk about about the mystery woman or the mysterious relatives, but we have talked about trying to track them down somehow.
PastFugu Butterfly?
PastFugu have you please update
That would be so cool the meet ur extended fam! I wonder if they got teased in Japan cuz they looked different :(
@@loading1345 It’d be cool, but it’s kind of unlikely. We don’t really have much to go on, unfortunately. I imagine they probably did get teased, seeing as my family’s black. On the lighter-skinned side, maybe, but notable features would’ve still likely been evident enough to make it clear they’re not entirely Japanese :/
My older sister isn't my full sister. We only share a mom. Makes a lot of sense. We're literally polar opposites in every single way. Appearance, personality, etc.
To be fair: I'm polar opposite of one of my sisters, slightly like the oldest sister, and extremelly similar to 3rd sister. We are all "full" sister, just have different personalities and the way our parents raised us probably affected everything.
Every person in my family was/is on drugs.
Every. Single. One.
Some of them were just better at hiding it than others.
including you?
@@coffeeenjoyer9099 oh please no
That was the hardest one for me. Or is/was an alcoholic.
I'm sorry
This but my Mom's side of the family.
My grandma just recently got put away for a couple decades because of continued meth production, dealing and consumption.
And dont give me that "rehabilitation shit"
People tried to get her to go
Interventions
Full family pushing her to stop
She never listened
Time and time again she was warned and eventually got sent to prison for what will probably be the rest of her life.
My mom has officially given up on her because it had been decades of this shit. Almost killed my Mom and Aunt several times because of her drug use.
My Aunt, who was always unaffectionate and bitchy to everyone, including to her husband and children, was raped at 14 and was victim blamed by my grandparents because she "wore short skirts" and therefore "looked for it" She was never taken to the police to report it (because what would ppl think), never got counseling and was just made to internalize her pain.
I completely understand her now, as I too was molested as a child.
My mom was married before she married my dad. Her ex-husband stalked her for weeks after they got divorced. Also she was heavily dependant on weed for most of my life without me knowing about it.
Also, my great uncle was in prison for my whole life for possession of child p.rn. The FBI were involved in his arrest. I didn't learn this until he got out of prison about 2 years ago now. Most of my family forgives him. I refuse to speak to him. At least my dad understands and wants to keep his kids away from him.
That is so sad. Imagine having a baby which is made because of abuse and then having to raise and live with her as your sister :(
My cousin who is 18 years old now was adopted and her parents still haven’t told her. The entire family knows though. I think it’s lowkey messed up lmao I feel bad for her sometimes.
M mpb mate you should tell her then it’s about time she knew
Star 123 it’s not my place to tell her plus my whole family would hate me if I did.
@@CANTfindTHEkeyboard1 Talk to the parents maybe? If most of the family knows already, better then someone else does it, secrets get out. But hey, i´m random guy on the internet, haven´t had such an experience in my life, but i guess i would like to know the truth.
Paris Teta yeah i agree it’s just not a close family dynamic plus we’re the same age it’s just not really my thing to do. Maybe they’ll tell her eventually. I’m not too close with them so and they live quite far.
M mpb if they didn’t tell her at 18 they don’t plan on telling at all, you should never wait until someone is that old to divulge that kind of information. I would want someone to tell me instead of letting me be oblivious
my dad told me a few years ago that he used to be a weed dealer when i was younger. the weird smell that was always in our garage and the bags of green stuff he gave to his friends finally made sense then lol. i'd always thought the weed was some weird form of money but i never asked him about it
I suffered mild emotional/mental abuse from my father and around age 12 I figured out the best way to avoid the toxicity was to cut my own father out of my life as much as I could. Fast forward I’m a young adult first relationship guy is exhibiting major red flags and manipulation. Thankfully I nope out at 2 months thanks to his blatant disregard for boundaries. With the help of the internet and friends I learn he probably has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) Realize my father also shows some signs. I tell my mom and she casually brings up the fact that a psychiatrist told her my father may have NPD. Everything I suffered through and the problems I still face as an adult are put into perspective. I really wish I knew sooner it may have helped me learn better ways to cope and help fight the mental conditioning of a narcissistic parent. I’m grateful I know now, and I want to tell my younger brother and sister but I’m not sure if I should. They both have better though not great relationships with him. My 80 year old adorable grandma who I love loves him so much she can’t see how toxic he is because he treats her so well. She can’t handle the knowledge of his disorder. If I told my siblings word would get out to her and rest of the family. I don’t want to cause any drama or pain. I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
When I was 11/12 I was “accidentally” told that the man I thought was my biological dad was not. My mother’s ex partner (who she had a child with, and who I completely despise) was in my room for some reason, and he was talking to me about something. He was just talking, then he said “so you know how __ isn’t your real dad?”
I, obviously, had no idea. He realised that I didn’t know, and he quickly left the room to talk to my mother while I sat there in disbelief. My mother came into my room and told me that she had to choose between me and a relationship with my biological father. He wanted her to abort me, but she didn’t.
I’m 14 now. I still can’t be in the same room as my mother’s ex (I didn’t like him before all of this happened, and this made me feel worse about him), and I have a burning hatred for the man.
Now he just screams abuse at my mother down the phone, and he treats her like shit. They’re not together anymore, and my mother swears that she doesn’t love him anymore, but last year she was bearing his child and it died due to a miscarriage. I just can’t believe that she was going to have another child with him. He’s a smug little prick and he deserves to get the shit beaten out of him.
kinda late to the party but:
my dad and my mom got pregnant with my older sister while my mom was in high school and my dad had only graduated the previous year. they stayed together, and 2 years later, they had me. years later, after i had graduated high school, the truth was told. for context: my dad and mom were in a very heated argument because my dad had just admitted he was having an affair and his mistress was pregnant. it was late at night, they must have thought i was asleep, but i overheard my dad yelling at my mom that she had no room to talk because she had cheated on my dad years ago, and in result she had me. after further investigation, my parents told me that my dad didn’t even know he wasn’t my “real” dad until i was 15. my mother never told him about the affair until then. needless to say after that my parents divorced, my dad married the woman he was having an affair with. i left, started my own life. this was years ago now, and i can positively say i am in a much better place mentally than i was then... but i still haven’t spoken to my parents in years.
My mom told me a long time ago, when I was about 15 or 16, that her grandmother who she was super close too was raped at one point in her life. I was shocked but I still saw her as a strong woman that was more of a mom to my mother than her mother.
I found out that it was actually her abusive second husband that raped her. She got pregnant and had a backdoor abortion to spite her bastard of a husband. My mom told me earlier this year when we were having a talk about family history.
I always thought before hand that someone just attacked her randomly and she never got pregnant. It... it's still horrifying to know that she went through so much.
The big family secret that everyone knew except for me: my dad isn’t my biological dad. Although I had my suspicions and constantly questioned it considering I’m biracial and my mom is white and so is my stepdad. Both with blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin .... tbh I thought I was just adopted lol
That my brother in-law molested my sister and that’s why my sister basically ditched the family for covering it up and when I confronted my sister and her husband they basically snapped at me and I ditched them too
Let your sister know you support her
when I was about 8/9 my mom told me her sister my aunt was an alcoholic and had tried to end her life. She was always here one day gone the next. I am a teenager now and believe she is living in a halfway house.
My grandparents threw a fit because my parents wouldn’t bring me to Christmas at their house when I had pneumonia. They cut us off BECAUSE I HAD PNEUMONIA. I WAS A YEAR OLD.
It makes sense that I didn’t know them until they were 10...
Until they were 10???
My parents met at a shooting. My dads brother got shot and my parents got together
That’s sad but also funny (the way you worded it)
This makes it sound like they are spies
Hey, good on the first cousin parents who adopted instead of having kids. I honestly am a very very anti-incest person but I respect that. Bless.
yeah weirdly responsible incest.
I'm curious when this took place and where. First cousin relations weren't considered insest in most places just a few generations ago. Taboo by some but not illegal or insest.
A lot of people would be surprised by how many second and third cousins would get married on the regular. The idea was people in your group had similar beliefs and ways of life. Plus, they knew a lot of the same people. It was a community thing.
Bro, same on the anti incest, but that was such a better choice then what most do. Also, I wonder if they knew always or if they found out later. Like what if you where dating someone only to find out after like two years, you were related.
First cousin marriages are legal, if inadvisable, in many jurisdictions - 2nd and 3rd cousins there is about 1/4 and 1/10 the genetic risk respectively compared to first cousins. By the time you get to 4th cousins you are about as likely to match a random person from the same population as you are the cousin.
is cousin marriage incest tho? I know in america some consider it inscest but in my religion cousin marriage is fine, tho most people where I'm from avoid it if possible since it makes them uncomfortable still. (I'm muslim if you're wondering, and I live in a muslim society) I ask my friends and fam about this and my fam doesn't allow cousin marriage even though it's legal and religiously fine. Kinda funny since it's allowed but almost no one does it here since it makes them feel weird and uncomfrotable asf. Especially since a lot of people grow up spending lots of time with their cousins, so cousins feel more like siblings for some people.
I met my paternal grandfather once when I was about 6 when visiting my father's side of the family during an emergency family reunion before my grandma died from cancer. hated the man the second I laid eyes on him and never knew why but pushed the feeling beside for years. I recently found out through my great aunt that my grandfather was an abusive bastard towards my grandma and his side of the family in general were shady people. Gotta love those gut feelings and I hope to God I don't have anything in common with that man.
When I was really little, about 3-4, my cousin came to live with us, and for a bit we weren’t allowed to play outside at all. Growing up my mom had a rule that we weren’t allowed to point toy guns at each other(we never had nerf or water guns).
Found out at 30 that around that time, my aunt had a very abusive boyfriend and she was worried he would try to abuse my cousin so sent her to us. When she eventually kicked him out, he went looking for us to kidnap my cousin. He would threaten us over the phone and my dad made no mistake that he had a gun. Guy eventually gave up, tried to get back together with my aunt, failed, got drunk at a bar, nearly beat a man to death then died in jail.
“My sister is my mom, and my “mom” is my grandmother”
The Flying Pika Used to happen a lot back when illegitimacy was considered desperately shameful
My family all split up a long time ago. My dad told me that he would explain when i was older. I thought that somebody murdered someone or something like that. In reality a Catholic married a protestant and that caused a war in the family.
Wow
That's so medieval.
@@stephjuhler999 this actually only happened about 100 years ago
That’s relatively minor compared to all these other stories.
That my mom had two miscarriages and an abortion. I remember being told that I'm going to have another sibling in two seperate occasions. I remember grandma telling me to not to go to her room cause she was feeling sick and once someone told me in my face that the baby was dead - don't remember who it was. I was an easy kid, I could understand and move on when someone died without making a problem out of it. I remember my mom handling it just fine. Later in life I just couldn't understand why people were so sad about miscarriages. And she had an abortion too, after my brother was born. I found out thorugh a text my aunt sent my mom - I had the phone, didin't tell anyone. And something went wrong with it, she was bedsick for a month. Me and my siblings were super worried about it. I wish she told me about the wrong-went abortion, I was old enough for that and it probably could have saved me from being worried about her constantly for a month because I couldn't understand what was wrong and why anyone wasn't doing anything about it.
Edit: hi I also found out that my mom had not one but FOUR abortions. Jesus christ these adult people can't even use proper fucking protection and almost got my mom killed over that.
My mom got pregnant twice after the middle child but was all miscarries. The first time was triplets and the second was twins. She tried operations to avoid pregnancy and ended up pregnant somehow with my youngest sister
My dad had a girlfriend while 3 months into marrying my mom. He even told my sister. They hardly love each other anymore, and they were supposed to get divorced in January of 2019, but they decided to work it out.
Last summer, I learned that my mother had placed a complaint for sexual assault on one of my uncle (her brother-in law, married to her sister). I learned that it had been happening since she was 7 years old, and that he had actually touched or groped every single one of her sisters, her mother, friends, his own daughter-in-law, and even strangers. My mother finally had enough when he actually pulled her away from the rest of the group at a family meeting to grope her again so she finally placed a complaint against him. Suddenly, I remembered all of the times as a kid, where I was NEVER alone with him. Whenever he wanted to show me something, whenever he wanted to talk with me, my dad or my mom would follow. When he was taking me outside of their house to see the ducks, my dad would follow. It finally dawned on me. I had never in my life been left alone with that man.
I found out that I might have a 10 year old half brother somewhere. My dad was talking to my stepmom, and I guess he thought I was asleep. I remember what he said:
"Remember that crazy ex girlfriend I had told you about..? She has a son...But the thing is, he was born literally nine or eight months after I left her. And he looks a lot like me. She claims he is the son of her husband but they look nothing alike, and the math doesn't add up. I think maybe he's my son, but it's not like she'll ever admit it, and I can just waltz into that boy's life."
Like, excuse me what? I have to live with the knowledge I might have a little brother that I might never meet??
I do actually plan on waiting until I'm an adult and he's close to being one, and maybe I'll try and reach out to him, maybe get a DNA test.
Your dad has every right to legally request a DNA test. Tbh if i was your dad i would talk to the ex gf and say. "Look, I honestly think this 10 year old is my son. He looks just like me. I want to know the truth. I want a DNA test. We can get lawyers involved if it comes to that, but i deserve to know if he is in fact my son. I'm not going to try to take him away or anything like that. I respect that your husband has raised him and i'm not going to come between that or mess it up. However if he's my son i want the chance to know him and watch him grow."
Growing up, I had (and still have) quite a few mental health issues. My parents were always in denial about it.
Turns out that pretty much every member on both sides of my family (including my parents) have some sort of mental illness (bipolar, anxiety, depression are the main three). It all converged with my sister and I, though I got the worst of it (3/3 diagnoses).
It explains so much, especially why no one talks about it (denial and preventing a domino effect of diagnoses).
I wish that I had gotten help when I was small. It would have made a lot of my hardships easier to deal with, but instead I didn't get any sort of diagnosis/treatment until I was in my 20s. I don't want kids for a lot of reasons, but the chance of passing on mental illness is one of the big ones. I can't let the cycle continue.
Nakima666 lol just raise the kid right and treat them well. I have lots of family member with mental health issues.
@@ZigySpACe Easier said than done, but you have a point. The cycle can stop in a lot of ways.
Same with me. I'm 23 and I just started getting treatment for social anxiety and depression this year. It sucks that you can't depend on the people you lived with growing up to get help for these issues. I didn't know what it even was because they don't teach you about mental health in school. It was frustrating to ask for help because all my religious family thought of for help was praying which does jack shit. Now there's people I've met in my life who I can talk about what I'm feeling at least
@@Astro2024 I'm glad that you've found people in your life to talk to. You deserved to have those people when growing up, but better late than never, right?
The rabbit one breaks my heart. My rabbit recently died and the thought of may parents replacing him would tear me. However I had two so I still have a rabbit and he would’ve noticed that his bro was gone. RIP bun-bun
7:23 The father was probably in denial about his brother's illness. Interestingly, that points pretty strongly at the father having it too. I've noticed that some people think they can avoid "catching it" from their family members if they limit contact/try really hard/take whatever paranoid precaution which is in and of itself schizophrenic.
A few years after I graduated college, I learned that my great grandaunt murdered her husband with my great grandmother's help. She got married after WW1 lived in a shack on some old swampland her family owned. He would constantly beat her and put her down. One day, she went to visit my great grandmother and told her what was happening. They went back to her house, got him sleeping drunk, beat him in the head with a shovel, dumped him in the swamp and left. The next day they reported him missing to the police. They found his body three days later half eaten by alligators. The sisters lived together until they died. My great grandaunt took this to her grave, but my great grandmother confessed in a letter she left in her will. They kept that secret for 78 years.
That first one is heartbreaking. First abused, then sent away, then had her baby taken, and then thrown out. WTF?
Me and my two sister's were always asked to step out of picture's at christmas (only time we would see my dad side family) Grew up old enought to realise they didnt display our pictures in their home or social media only ones we were out. Never tought of it before but they are probably racist.. Dont see them now much
Oh god oh god
Do you mean your parents or grandparents?
You should tag their pictures on your social media and mention them by relationship.
"Look at my (relative's name) and what a great time their having!" Also get to know and positively influence the young generations so you're in their pictures.
Edit: show them as examples of people who have embraced family and cultural differences.
That's horrible. I am very sorry you have family like that.
Sorry. I hope they don't throw the good old "I'm not racist! I have a (minority group) (relative)"
My uncle cheated on my aunt 6 times but she stayed with him, then recently she cheated on my uncle with his brother... yea they are divorced now...
Seems to be common, but I'll never understand one spouse getting it on with their spouse's sibling. I have a brother who tried this with my bride and she served him a restraining order. None of my SILs are attractive enough for me to have any notion of infidelity. To this day (45+ yrs later) its a mystery to me why they chose the woman they're married to.
"my youngest uncle is actually my oldest cousin"
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
It's likely not, actually. The mother of the child probably got pregnant young and was adopted by their mother's parents, making them their mothers sibling.
I explained that bad but yeah.
My mom didn't tell me until I was 22 that my father is her second husband. Her first one was having an affair with another man using her as a cover to make people think that he wasn't gay. (was the 80's) My mom and I were very close but she kept this a secret my whole life, it felt like a kick to the gut that she had been hiding something from me. It really shattered my trust in her.
I knew that I, the 5th and last child, was a surprise (my parents insistence on the word) and my parents didn’t want more kids after my older sisters (they were twins, which was a surprise in itself but they turned out to be a big handful) but I was still loved ....but what I didn’t know until I was like 17 was that I was unwanted for the first 6 months of my moms pregnancy with me. It honestly hit me pretty hard, and it hurts just knowing. (I’m her defense, she didn’t tell me this to hurt me, she was crying for heavens sake, but bc I guess I was going in to get tested for what I assumed was to be officially diagnosed with a sensory disorder (turned out to be “Surprise! You’re high functioning autistic!”) and I guess they may have asked about my mom’s relationship with me or something....and she just felt the need to tell me.)
Dang, reminds me of a theory that my dad raped my mom and had me, since i read in a website about their realationship. Never mentioned me. Only my sister and my half sister and brother. Im guessing they hid me from the public.. I figured that out a few weeks ago.. And it explains alot tbh.
My family "secrets" are very mild. I found out my mom and dad came very close to getting divorced when I was about 10. When my dad came back from Viet Nam, he started to (as my mom calls it) "cat around." She told him, shape up or ship out. He shaped up. My "secret" elicited a surprise confession from my mom. I was 4 months pregnant when my husband and I got married (he was the father). I was so scared and nervous that I had constant morning sickness and lost 30 lbs. - it kept me from showing, anyway. (as soon as I was married, the morning sickness stopped, and I mean, like, that afternoon) A month after I got married, I told my mom I was 5 months pregnant. I was afraid of her reaction because I was the "good girl" in the family. My mom was delighted that she was going to be a grandmother! Then she told me the only difference between her and I was that she didn't "get caught."
Hold up...
Excuse me but WHAT the FUCK
whaaaaat
Not mild
These videos are why, if I ever want to get a DNA ancestry thing, I am gonna mention it to everyone in my extended family and look out for weird answers. I probably would not be able to resist doing it secretly anyway after getting a suspicious reaction, but only after assuring everyone I am not doing the test. Then I won't have to talk about the results. My true motive? Reddit gold
edit: Just asked my mom and she said I shouldn't do it but had no specific objection. 😶
Taylor Murphy do it keep us updated
Okay now you gotta do it
Dew eeeet
you got do it now
So... did you do it 👀
My grandma lived with us for a great deal of my childhood. She essentially helped raise me. To me, this was always just the best, my grandma is the coolest chicken ever and I have some great memories because she was always there. Turns out she was actually living with us because my dad had found her alone in her home passed out having purposefully overdosed on sleeping pills. This isn't something that I found out until I was in my mid twenties. She was in the "hospital" for a while after the incident and before she moved in with us. My younger sister and I had been told that she was just sick. She's a smoker so we kind of just assumed it had to do with that. Apparently my grandma had the hardest life. Sexual, verbal, physical and psychological abuse from every other family member, husband or boyfriend. Her mother died when she was 16 and had been replaced immediately with someone who treated her awfully. She had been through at least three divorces (two of which were from some pretty fucked up dudes. This excludes my biological grandfather thank God, who she's actually still on decent terms with). All of this and more led to her developing a drinking and gambling problem that she's conquered with the help of her family. She is the most wonderful person you will ever meet and when I think about what she's been through, I can't help but start to sob. I love my grandma Marti. She will forever be my rock.
That my mother in law had a long term affair with a much older man having 2 children with the other man. The affair children were treated MUCH better than the 2 children she had with her husband.
My father in law turned a blind eye to the entire thing. It was a total open secret inside the home. Everyone suspected, but no one said anything.
Y’all ever watch these when you’re high and you got no clue wtf is goin on
Deirdre Makala ummm... I’m not high and I don’t know what’s going on. 😔
We Stan Taehyung felt that
Dude you shouldn’t smoke
Deirdre Makala I’m so glad I’m not the only fucking one😂
Jill lmao I just saw ur comment, it’s actually pretty good
Literally me right now at 25 years old.
1:56 Haha that sounds kinda like my aunt and her friend... ohhhhhhhh.
I found out my dad is gay when I was 16 when I asked his “friend” if they were dating while he was out of the room. Like nobody in my family told me. I had guessed that my parents had gotten divorced because my dad cheated on her but I didn’t know that it was with another guy
Wow that's insane
I’m not a teenager yet, but I’ve never known my real dad. Still at my age I’d think I’m old enough to know him. But I overheard one of my moms conversations, “I guess Natalie has a sister now.” She still hasn’t told me, if I didn’t hear that I wouldn’t know..
The *"My parents were swingers."* one is so unexpected
ong