physically i think she likes him but not his personality; also i think she is just smarter than him...this is just my perception, you never know what's in a womans mind :)
If you are looking for a relationship thinking that it will make your life better, that's a mistake. A good relationship is an extension of a good life.
davidsirmons So what ??? Tbh with you ! There is nothing magical about having a girlfriend and there is nothing magical about being rich as well.. It’s all about you in the end. Your regrets are only just yours.. no one else shares it for you.. so if you adjust yourself to think that sex and money is as pleasurable as eating suppose a steak or sleeping.. it won’t make it any different would it ? Because in reality too, it’s not different than eating or sleeping. This is envy of others rather than your own true nature. People who had a different girl every night for all their lives and who had unlimited money in their bank accounts were all fed up with it one day too. You just didn’t experience that and that’s what makes you regret it. If you had it, you won’t be so disappointed. Infact, you would be disappointed over other things that your mind lends regret to. It’s with everything nowadays. We are more attracted to things that we cannot have. Our value system is created that way. Very few people are rich so being rich is a great thing. Not everyone has a beautiful girlfriend so having that is a great thing. Everyone wants to be a winner. Everyone wants to be at the top. Everyone wants to fulfill their fantasies, but no one wants the truth.
davidsirmons I remember when I was 19 and never have a gf and was pathetic, wishing I had a gf. I finally got one. I loved her so much. But did my life get better? NO. I’m 22 now and realize even tho having a gf is great you should learn how to love yourself, achieve greatness, and make some friends along the way. I can understand that not having a gf can be frustrating, but you’ll realize your life isn’t much better. Maybe look into why you don’t have a gf rather than seeing it as bad luck. You’d be surprised what you mind find out about yourself.
I keep hearing this one a lot. I disagree because fundamentally we're not built to be loners. Babies die without contact, adults are of course more robust, but only a fool would believe that loneliness has no effect on you. Like, what if I've got everything in check and I'm just shy? I'm somehow supposed to be automatically happy and that will attract someone? I don't think it works like that in practice.
One of the sad reality is that many people view relationships as a "trophy" that can be brag about when you got a beautiful girlfriend or a handsome boyfriend, or you got a rich guy/woman. This is one of the most toxic things in "modern" relationships in my opinion.
Hey I found myself relating to this. I know that it is a bad perspective to have at a relationship but how do I change my views on it? For eg I have a crush on this girl but even though I try to appreciate her for her personality and intelligence I find myself thinking subconsciously how beautiful she is and how awesome it would be if she was my girlfriend.
I'm not actually super good looking, I'm not rich, I'm a shy person, but I do take care of my body at the gym lifting weights. Finding someone who loves you for what you are it's hard.
I really admire the courage of this guy to be brave enough and accept his addiction in order to stop it, even though he knew that a certain amount of people was going to make fun of him he decided to show himself a little vulnerable but real and make the best choice for him. PDT: I'm not a native english speaker but I tried to do my best to say what I think
I love that you are brave enough to speak out against pornography. It ruins relationships. We need more brave people to fight against "the tobacco of our generation." #fightthenewdrug #pornkillslove
Wow, I completely agree with Luke’s argument about porn being the tobacco of our generation. Porn fulfills a temporary need, just as drugs or likes on Instagram do, but the more we indulge in it, the more empty we feel inside. I think instant gratification is an epidemic in our social media driven world, and self-discipline and not needing outside approval might be part of the antidote. I appreciate how open and honest both of you were in this video. Keep up the insightful videos Lana!
I stopped watching porn a couple of months ago and I've never felt so proud of myself. It was destroying my mind, my health, my life. But now I live freely. We can all do the same♡ Love y'all
Sitting in nature and having an intelligent conversation on personal/social issues where you can understand another's perspective and add to it without making the other feel negated or invalidated... Yup. Thanks a lot Lana for showing me exactly what was missing in my life. I can work on visualizing and attaining it now. Hoping you continue to grow wiser and make videos like these 💕
thank you for putting into words what I couldnt, and thanks Lana for this amazing work. this is genuinely what we lack in our misplaced social-media driven cultur. keep up the good work sweetheart
I want to start out by saying thank you Lana for the wonderful quality time video. I still believe in old become what you want to attract. So if you want someone who is respectful, caring, loyal, or whatever that may be, you need to become that person. I also think men should also dont be afraid to look to see what things you can change about yourself. I personally learned to reflect on myself even during the relationship not on what's wrong with my partner but what can I do better. Taking care of one's self is in important, does one groom, does one take a little extra effort to dress a little nicer, the suddle things tell the person, if your willing to do that for yourself, perhaps you would be willing to do that for them, all ties back into the become more of what you want to attract
@@LanaBlakely your input is always appreciated and I enjoy videos, they have insightful information and I love that you add perception into and give a well rounded perception as well as your own thoughts on the matter.
Love to see these two insightful individuals sitting down and having a legit conversation, truly listening, and holding capacity to pick up what each is putting out. Great video!
Nah, I think it should be a balance of focusing on self goals and improvement and at the same time looking for and pursuing someone to share your life with. You can't rely on the stars to accidentally meet someone that is the one for you, it is incredibly rare to happen, you got to push your luck more.
I also think there is an aspect of the Dunning Kruger effect, that is, as we grow in knowledge about a certain aspect of our being, we in fact begin the true realisation of the size of the task at hand. Keep pushing though this feeling until you reach the slope of enlightenment
Whenever I get the feeling of looking at porn, I just repeat “discipline” in my head non-stop until I stop getting that feeling. For some reason, at least for me, it helps. Then I try to change my environment. Maybe I’ll go for a walk or call up a friend or something, basically keep yourself busy. The issue is that over the years you psychologically condition yourself to look at porn. Kinda like how ringing a bell for food will cause a dog to salivate, doing something like laying on your bed or sitting on your desk chair or other areas where you frequently look at porn will, erm, arouse you. That’s why change in our life is necessary to break that.
First of all I don’t want to sound negative or just come out as a person that contradicts or trolls but when many people say, and I’ve seen this in many videos of other people, talking about this “self-love” and look into yourself and improve upon of what you want to find in your ideal lover, this strongly contradicts of what I feel about love and what love represents for me, which is finding in you lover EXACTLY what you don’t find in yourself, therefore completing the void that you desperately cannot fill, which is the lack of love. I’ve had self love for the first 27 years of my life and back then I felt literally no need to be with someone, never. But once I started to doubt myself and started to become weaker I suddenly felt the need for someone to hold me and truly care about me in my lowest state, with no pride, no goals, no nothing. Every time I become let’s say cocky or confident in my powers again I suddenly didn’t felt any love for anyone around me because my self love sustained me. So it drives me crazy when people talk about self-love as a solution for healthy relationships. I think sorrow and desperately needing someone is what love truly flourishes from, in that hour of need, when you are you, naked of all your strengths, not when you are strong and confident. That’s when you don’t feel anything for anyone other than yourself, because yourself us all you need, and that my friend is narcissism. And this is not me saying to be a couch potato and expect people to desperately love you. I’m just crying out loud of the individualism in relationships that is being propagated by this “self-love” concept and that is destroying true live, which is falling in each others arms vulnerable, honest and stop pretending to be tough, that’s just bull***. I think in some sense people nowadays became flawed, individualistic, egocentric and stoped carrying for the chosen lover and the total sacrifice that real love represents, if that sacrifice is ever needed. Not saying that is imperative but self-love is exactly the opposite and is detrimental to true love which is impossible to find nowadays due to modern trends like “self-love”. I almost never swear but “self-love” ? I say go fuck yourself... Btw please don’t take this personal, you are clearly good, calm gentle and logical persons but I truly feel deep down that you are wrong, that’s why I written such long post... Sorry for being a little emotional. Cheers!
Wow, didn’t even noticed these replies. Thanks but I discovered Nietzsche so it’s all good now. Bye bye to all this love nonsense herd slave mentality. It’s all Call to Power from now on baby. Keeping my sorrows for my art in secret from now on. People and relationships don’t interest me anymore, they are just “extra spices” for my well being if they happen to be. If not then... I can do just fine by myself, sometimes even better. Being sentimental and living with resentment is for losers anyway. Is spartan life from now on, kill or be killed... Valhalla is a place to strive for anyway, and not in the unsure hands of a woman.
@Modern Machiavelli I would have put that differently but yes I do agree with you he's still a very anxious guy and he's too in his head. He's a real sensitive soft type and unfortunately those things aren't always considered attractive in males. Smart guy though, but needs to work on becoming grounded and being more masculine but those things come with life experience.
@Modern Machiavelli Luke? Anxious? Yes, but definitely not as anxious as you think he is. He used to do public pranks. Im sure he isn't as anxious as many of us are.
I like how the guy agrees that he is no expert on the topic he is speaking on but still manages to talk very meaningful and sensible things. Just awesome :)
I would say dating was super easy when I was your age, I'm assuming they both around 19 or early 20's. But now that I'm in my early 30's and been through many failed relationships it's definitely a lot harder now. You tend to take less risk when you older, you spot warning signs very quickly and much less tolerant because you know yourself very well and know what you want and what you like. You also feel comfortable being on your own so I find myself not putting in much effort anymore into finding someone.
Most excellent! I had to watch both videos, yours and Luke’s twice to really get the essence of your discussion. I find connection and commitment are linked and are very important. And yes! Meditation is very key and is something I strongly encourage in my life and with others. This is an important concern to be openly discussed. Communication in many ways is central to all relationship on many levels...
@@pt6731 haveing good human connections and interactions is obviously good for you, no one is suggesting you to be unsocial, but that type of happiness or connection isn't just reserved to come from a loving partner.
stay way from people that give bad energy or a bad gut feeling. This people will betray you in a second and have no regrets. sociopaths and narcissist are charming, but one clue to to spot them is that they will laugh at you, not with you.
I know plenty of confident guys who are bad with woman Girls are actually attracted to quite boys lol so that's some shitty advice my brother 🥴 If you're ugly just be shy, watch the chicks line up 😂
Great advice before the first minute was even up. "You just have to accept that it's hard, life is hard, and to embrace the challenges that life gives us."
They’re really close to my age yet I feel like a lost child under mom and dad! Great advice and tools in this video, I’m hoping the future brings more expressive and higher brain functions out of humanity again since it’s slow.
Be honest and be yourself. When you are with someone with a matching frequency, dating is fun not hard. Never pretend to be someone else to get the other person to like you. What is not very easy is finding someone with the matching frequency :p
Disclaimer! Great video btw! Let me share some advice with you guys, I feel as though I can help some people in the comments. I found that there aren't a lot of people in the world like me. I very rarely find someone who resonates on the same frequency as I do. With that being said, I found the greatest love you can have is for yourself. If you truly love yourself and your life, love will be in abundence everywhere. I trust the universe that my vibe will attract my tribe. It's not about 2 half's coming together. Its about 2 wholes coming together. Sending positive vibes your way. 🙏📿☮️
Loved your comment bru, I am starting to realise the same. You’re right. It’s important to find yourself and be happy with yourself before you start sharing yourself with someone else, because you need to feel so good about yourself and not co depend on anyone or feel hurt by someone else, especially not take any dis respect. Be able to just enjoy time with someone for periods of time without compromising yourself or your likes and dislikes.
The part where he said people don't want to feel like you are getting something out of them (your own self-esteem) they want to feel loved! That's important.
It's not a gender thing, it's an individual matter. Sure men and women are different biologically and have varied interests but the core morals and core values remain the same.
As a Christian I struggled hard with wanting to watch adult videos. One of my friends took advantage of me at a young age and it spin my head around. It over sexualized me but made me afraid at a young age, I started watching those videos too young in my opinion. I got caught by my parents and it was mortifying. Years later I went through depressive episodes and I though watching those videos helped but it just made me feel lonelier and guilty. I really don't think it helps anyone it's toxic
when everyone stops watching porn, we create a happier world where there is more attention for each other within the relationship, there would be much fewer divorces.
or it would be easier when women behave more like a porn star in bed - not just for alpha chad and tyrone but also for their husband/bf. women are addicted to social media ... likes and followers. it gives them an ego boost , so why we demonize porn but let women become attention whores ?
This was such a great conversation and suddenly there was a screaming kid in the background. Loved really paying attention to both Lana and Luke. Hopefully, you both have another chance to get together and chat again in person. I've only seen 1 video from Lana before this one and have another 7 tabs open as you're so relaxed and chilled out. Normally I don't pay attention to UA-cam, but the one where you say you like being alone definitely resonates. Society itself makes it seem like you need to couple up, involve religion and procreation. I don't side with that notion at all. Today someone guy was trying to sell the idea of "Attracting your perfect partner." I thought of that last video and told him that the focus actually is to be selfless and help as many people around the world, which I do now and feels great. Instead of lining bank accounts, it is more about helping others achieve the freedom they are looking for. Thanks again for the video above, even though it was 1 year and 4 months ago
Love is serving others with our actions. That's God's teaching on love. Love is not a feeling of pleasure that we feel within ourselves. Rather, love is doing right. It is not what we feel. The feeling (i.e. desire) is not love, but rather lust. So, if a person calls their feelings "love" and keeps chasing after their own feelings, they will always be disappointed and say "I haven't found love." But the truth is that they were never seeking love. They were seeking lust. God showed His love to us in what He *did*. The Father sent the Son to buy us back from the guilt of sin, death, and the power of the devil. Jesus is now risen from the dead and is seated in glory. He will come again. A person finds meaning when they meditate on (i.e. read) God's Word. He is the true God, and He teaches the love that "never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8). Psychology is the religion of our time, and it is a foundation of sand. True faith is to believe in Jesus, who said "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25).
Great video, it's good hear a sensible conversation about a complex topic. I've basically given up finding someone. 40 years of trying to live in a world without knowing I'm neurodiverse has broken my sense of self. I'm too shy to ask anyone out, I know everyone says confidence is key but that's something I find very elusive.
Hey man. You're not alone. Let me give you some wise advice. I have come to learn that there are not a lot of people like me in this world. Your vibe will attract your tribe. With that being said, don't worry to much about others, the greatest love you can give is to yourself. When you truly love yourself and the life you live, that's the only way you can truly give to and love other people. I send good vibes your way. Love you! ♥️
@@TheamazingPK Thanks for your advice, I'm seeing a therapist now to help me rebuild me identity. It's going to take a long time to heal from everything that's happened to me. Just wish I didn't get so lonely. Have a great day. :)
Well I just got one video of this lovely girl as a recommendation on youtube and wow I am impressed and happy. She gave me another perspective of how to deal with my problems, thanks 😊
These conversations are so incredibly important! Young men are in serious trouble these days when it comes to confidence and understanding women! Thank you for everything you do!
Over analyzing for no reason. The reality is that forever alone people have demons they’re scared of. Most likely, scared someone will find out about certain things you’ve concealed your entire life. The real question is, do you believe in love? Or do you believe in fear? Does fear really trump love? Is any combination of factors, battles, and fears worth you not experiencing a higher reality?
In the end, loving yourself radiates good vibes and can lead to good things, one of them such as making other people to be interested in you in this context. But then most important is that you still have to be on tract towards your goals and let the romance be a bonus...
Wow, Lana, this video was very informative and amazing !!!!!!! you literally opened my mind about dating and focusing on inner self. 😀 thank you. Keep on doing this great work. 😇
I am impressed with the guy here, the way he expressed himself. You can tell he means what he is saying. And kodos for being honest, it takes a lot of courage
1:35 I'm not sure I agree with that. It's true that we shouldn't wholly ignore our own interests, but by that same token many relationships have been ended unnecessarily because individuals mistake difficult periods for incompatibility, or temporary lack of passion for a dead-end relationship. No human being inspires romantic passion forever; eventually, you will be faced with moments where you stick around with someone because you choose to, not because you desire to. As I understand it, dating is learning to interact with another person in a romantic context, and testing to see if such a partnership would work. If 80 percent of it is spent working on yourself, that doesn't seem to leave a lot of room for learning what your responsibilities are towards the other person. Which is at least part of why I've been so loathed to engage in it myself, as I know there are things about myself I need to correct before presuming to jump into such a commitment involving another person. If you jump into something that you yourself are not ready for, you're just wasting the other person's time. 2:28 Yes, exactly this. However, that does leave the universally awkward question: how? Presumably it has to be something more substantive than "doing something", in order to feel like it's a worthwhile or valuable goal. 4:30 Yeah... no that's still an issue for me. It never ceases to amaze me how unreasonably happy I can be by a compliment from my crush, and simultaneously forget how many crushes I had before whose words carried the same power, but no longer. I understand the value of getting validation from something other than the opinions of others. I am not so sure getting validation in career goals or similar projects is much better, however. 7:04 I think fixation on ourselves is part of *why* so many people become needy in relationships. Because they are so focused on what they need, rather than what their own responsibilities are in the relationship. So much of this, however, is dependent upon how clearly you yourself are examining the relationship accurately: is the partner being needy, or are you neglectful, and vice versa. You don't want to ignore your significant other's legitimate needs, but likewise you shouldn't just kowtow to their every whim. 9:00 So what is a "meaningful goal"? What *makes* it meaningful? We can all agree that meaning is important for people's personal development, but unless the criteria for what makes it meaningful is identified, it's little better than saying we ought to pursue things which are "good", or "right", or "as they ought to be". And it's in that space of identifying the source of meaning that so many conflicts across philosophy, religion, and politics find their root. 9:57 I have a very cynical outlook on human nature, so forgive me if this comes across as overly critical: What is this inner self, and why should you appeal to it as the source of meaningful goals? Why would you assume that those desires (what you really want) are reflective of that which you *ought* to want? If we ourselves are the source of meaningful goals, why does the world that we (human beings collectively) created not seem to reflect that? 10:45 I agree fully. I do think it begs the question though: why is such an activity (and the consequences it reaps on the subconscious) bad, undesirable, or otherwise not meaningful? Why shouldn't people sexualize individuals whom they have not met or otherwise do not have a romantic bond with, and why should that be shameful or uncomfortable? Again, I am in full agreement with the assertion. But it would be helpful to explain what those consequences are, and why relationships might be rightfully jeopardized by such behavior.
Im an average person. If I want to date, I can. But I think finding some who genuinely loves u for who u are is a very rare thing. Although engaging in dates can give u improvement, It still worth to try. I started working out and improving myself cus I realized that those shallow girls dont deserve my “true” love, but they can have my infatuation.
There is love and then there is Love. love is incapable of ever giving birth to Love. love has a sense of division and separation, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering. Love does not. love originates in the brain. Love does not. love is a chemical process of the brain. Love is not. love is possessive, controlling, jealous, envious, etc. Love is not. love is given and received. Love is not given or received. Love is not like a commodity traded in the market. love is limited. Love is not limited. love can be increased. Love cannot be increased. love has many levels. Love has no levels. Either one is capable of Love or one is not. love is the opposite of hate. love and hate are opposite sides of the same coin. Love has no opposite. love loves only some. Love Loves all. Love does not exclude anyone or anything. love is the movement of the I, the me, the self, the so-called True or Higher Self, which is the invention of the past conditioning of the brain. Total Freedom from this delusion is the beginning of Love, in each and every moment of daily life.
First, you must be capable of Relationship. What passes for Relationship is like 2 parallel lines that never meet. The I, the me, the self, the so-called True Self or Higher Self, is an illusion invented from the past conditioning of the brain. It invents a sense of division and separation between the me and the not me, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering in daily life. Therefore, no Relationship. There is only what passes for Relationship, which is merely mutual exploitation and mutual self-gratification. Total Freedom from this illusion is the beginning of Relationship, Communication, Communion, Connection for the very first time, in each and every moment of daily life.
I had an ex who dumped me and I totally accepted it (initially) but then.. post-breakup he became SUPER attached to me but didn't want to commit - only citing me as an 'option' for the future (when he's ready). I got so hurt and mentally fucked up cause of how much he dragged the breakup longer than necessary. I absolutely loved that man. Yet I realised, he didn't love me as genuine as I had - where I even accepted the breakup (even though I didn't want it.) It's sad that relationship is seen as a 'goal' now. There is this added pressure and high expectation we put on our partners which they cannot totally fulfill. Instead we should complete ourselves first and foremost. You can let go of someone even if you love them because as Maya Angelou puts it, "Love Liberates." Tusen tack Lana! :)
enlightening discourse. The key for me, speaking as a male, is not to make too big a deal of it. Loosen up, laugh at things more. Try and find joy in the little things. Talk to girls as though you don't care about the outcome: do not be outcome-dependent. Watch how things change.
Lana I would love to see you and Mr. Reagan do a show together once a week to jointly discuss your most talked about episode for the week Your presence on set together is dynamic
Seeing two very attractive young people talk about how you don't need to be defined by relationships is like seeing two multimillionaires talk about how you don't need to be defined by your money. These two are in high demand so they can afford to be above it all. Joe and Jane Butterface do not have the same luxury.
Judgement have effect on our behaviour. Without it, we can live with more freedom and have better interaction with other people. Don't expect everybody is perfect, but learn from that so we can grow together. Congrats for making interesting content Lana
Totally agree. You have to have courage, get out of your comfort zone, I met my girl after I joined a social organization outside of my campus. I'm an introvert and I don't really like socializing and being around lots of people but if i want my life to change, if I want to improve myself, then f**k it, just do it. So I joined and I met her.
And I personally think you have to have a passion or a hobby, my girl said that I look attractive when I talk about something I have passion in it, I know a lot about it. I love automotive, I ride a motorcycle (a Ninja 300 :v) and I talked about it to her, I asked her to ride with me, I even taught her how to ride a motorcycle. Now when I see a BMW M4 or a Yamaha R1 on the street, I'm not the only one screaming like crazy, bcoz she also know a lot now 😂
But even with all of that, That doesn't guarantee that you'll found your true love that easy. Little did I know she was already in a relationship with someone else and now she's engaged. F*kin beech.
Look inside and know that it is about commitment. Also know that love is something totally different than falling in love. True love grows with time if both are truly committed. The one you fall in love with tells you nothing about your potential future relationship.
Lana, I don't know if you've ever thought of this, but the fact that you are in the top 99.9 percentile of most beautiful girls would statistically make it incredibly difficult for you to even find a guy who would have the inner capacity to be able to attract you on a superficial level in the first place, let alone being able to handle being in a relationship with you (because most guys who would be able to attract you in the moment are probably riding one or another form of a wave of social momentum/ emotionally propped up by external social forces, which would inevitably wear out and leave their underlying weakness to eventually cause them to become emotionally dependant, manifesting either in neediness or some form of aggression (this can happen relatively quickly, or further down the road into an actual relationship, I'm sure you've seen this sort of thing happen before with guys you've dated)). There's a Chinese fictional character called 独孤求败, which means something like "the lonely one begging to be defeated" because he is apparently so much better than everyone that he is very lonely (someone called me this in China when I kept beating everyone at pool). So among everything else, this is a position that you are in that's unique to extremely beautiful girls (and something that is not politically correct to talk about, and something that for obvious reasons you probably couldn't talk about to anyone, or maybe even admit to yourself, but it's definitely a factor) (by the way this is more a comment on the other video with the same guy, which I also watched (insomnia...))
And by beating, I’m thinking you are talking about making the other person’s defeat mesmerizing, or in a puzzled way. Kind of like a mental strain. Correct me if I’m wrong, I completely agree with your aspect tho, since this resonates to some people.
World is full of beautiful women and often they are in relationship. I don't know where you get 99,9%. She is pretty but I doubt she belongs there. Beauty means different things for different people. You can't really measure beauty. It depends on who you ask.There are handsome men, too. There are so many more important things than looks. I am sure Lana find someone if she wants to, like so many other beautiful women. And I don't think looks is the most important thing in the guy for her.
BlunderCity don’t be such a perfectionist, of course he has to be multifaceted in these scenarios to keep the audience engaged, but generally he did a good job.
True love is unconditional & denying one’s self/own definition of giving & receiving affection never meant to be/feel loved for what we are but rather for what others narcissistically wish/percieve..
How finding love is a goal? We live in a world where relationship, dating and sex have been given too much importance especially in the western world, we see ppl dating even in high school. And another thing that I noticed in the western world is that sex is given more importance than other aspects of relationship. Love is something you find , it's a natural process. When we try to make it happen, it creates problem. You can't be deliberate about these things. They are supposed to happen and if they don't it's perfectly ok although in the later case society puts pressure on you to just find someone. Unless those feelings are natural and not forced it won't succeed. You don't have to find the love but you may find the love.
@Kick Jowkowski I always find myself having a crush on introverted guys more than the noisy-extroverted ones. Shy guys are way more cute, so you're wrong. We give introverted ones a chance. :)
@солнцевская солнцевская братва what's your definition of "attractive"? genuinely asking, because you're putting my words in doubt when you're the one with a complex here. :)
@@Hybrid_Technique Okay, but someone probably likes you and you can't even notice it bc of your "we know that ain't true" attitude towards relationships. Keep in mind that you're probably cute to lots of people out there. :)
I really really appreciated and loved the section You shared on porn addiction. My long distance husband had one, and says he doesn’t watch it any more, but he has all these expectations from me that mirror his desires from his porn addiction. It has really made me feel insecure about my body and myself and doubt my appearance and knock my self esteem. I’m quite unhappy and can’t really get that across to him. As he’s so sweet otherwise. We haven’t had sex yet, but I’m terrified to. 🥺🥺🥺
Just stumbled upon this channel today. At first I thought that you're really fine in the looks but when you speak out it's like english is not your native lang. I like these kinds of conversations. To me it seem so relaxing. I could watch /listen to it with the PIP extension in my chrome browser and just get on with work and this video is just in minimal sized but floating on top of all my tabs. Watched 4 videos so far but I liked it. Also the thing with porn addiction is not all that bad. I'm kind of a man of culture myself but it just serves me well with my introvert self. It feels really good when its used to deflect shallow and judgmental people away from your life. I find it kind of a weird shield that works like those regular ones. Anyways, I dig these kinds of relaxing conversations. I miss having people talk deep like this for hours on end. When we get pass the stage of being relaxed teenagers we had to work and its been so hectic for me. I look forward to more of your content. I feel like I didn't finish my first sentence so here it is. You're more interesting than just your looks. And thanks!
Really nice meeting and filming with you Lana! Looking forward to the future content on your channel! :)
You guys should date.
I dont think he is her type.
Great insight.
@@pianosenzanima1 Why would you say that?
physically i think she likes him but not his personality; also i think she is just smarter than him...this is just my perception, you never know what's in a womans mind :)
If you are looking for a relationship thinking that it will make your life better, that's a mistake. A good relationship is an extension of a good life.
Not having had female companionship for 18 years, that overview tells me my life is worthless and pointless.
davidsirmons So what ??? Tbh with you ! There is nothing magical about having a girlfriend and there is nothing magical about being rich as well.. It’s all about you in the end. Your regrets are only just yours.. no one else shares it for you.. so if you adjust yourself to think that sex and money is as pleasurable as eating suppose a steak or sleeping.. it won’t make it any different would it ? Because in reality too, it’s not different than eating or sleeping. This is envy of others rather than your own true nature. People who had a different girl every night for all their lives and who had unlimited money in their bank accounts were all fed up with it one day too. You just didn’t experience that and that’s what makes you regret it. If you had it, you won’t be so disappointed. Infact, you would be disappointed over other things that your mind lends regret to. It’s with everything nowadays. We are more attracted to things that we cannot have. Our value system is created that way. Very few people are rich so being rich is a great thing. Not everyone has a beautiful girlfriend so having that is a great thing. Everyone wants to be a winner. Everyone wants to be at the top. Everyone wants to fulfill their fantasies, but no one wants the truth.
davidsirmons I remember when I was 19 and never have a gf and was pathetic, wishing I had a gf. I finally got one. I loved her so much. But did my life get better? NO. I’m 22 now and realize even tho having a gf is great you should learn how to love yourself, achieve greatness, and make some friends along the way.
I can understand that not having a gf can be frustrating, but you’ll realize your life isn’t much better. Maybe look into why you don’t have a gf rather than seeing it as bad luck. You’d be surprised what you mind find out about yourself.
If you need rely on someone for happiness, it’s going to be a down hill if/when they break up with you.
I keep hearing this one a lot. I disagree because fundamentally we're not built to be loners. Babies die without contact, adults are of course more robust, but only a fool would believe that loneliness has no effect on you. Like, what if I've got everything in check and I'm just shy? I'm somehow supposed to be automatically happy and that will attract someone? I don't think it works like that in practice.
One of the sad reality is that many people view relationships as a "trophy" that can be brag about when you got a beautiful girlfriend or a handsome boyfriend, or you got a rich guy/woman. This is one of the most toxic things in "modern" relationships in my opinion.
Hey I found myself relating to this. I know that it is a bad perspective to have at a relationship but how do I change my views on it? For eg I have a crush on this girl but even though I try to appreciate her for her personality and intelligence I find myself thinking subconsciously how beautiful she is and how awesome it would be if she was my girlfriend.
it's not a modern thing, always been like that in history of society
@@scaramouche768 maybe her personality was bland and intelligence was subpar so you defaulted to beauty?
Quitting porn is one of the best things you can do for living a wholesome and productive life, God bless
12:12 how long did he break for?
Dating is easy, finding someone who actually loves you is hard.
@DrawingAdventure agreed
Dating is not easy unless your extroverted/charismatic or have good looks. For the rest of us it's even worse.
You need to be in the six club
6ft
6 figures $$$
And 6" or more
lol
I'm not actually super good looking, I'm not rich, I'm a shy person, but I do take care of my body at the gym lifting weights. Finding someone who loves you for what you are it's hard.
@@jesseseonza2929 that's true only if you believe it is, stop chasing shallow females
I really admire the courage of this guy to be brave enough and accept his addiction in order to stop it, even though he knew that a certain amount of people was going to make fun of him he decided to show himself a little vulnerable but real and make the best choice for him.
PDT: I'm not a native english speaker but I tried to do my best to say what I think
agree
I don't think Lana realises how god damn gorgeous she is.
Same for Luke
@@califtom
_"she's so insanely hot. wish I was married to her"_
If you only standard for a wife is her being hot, you are in serious trouble.
@@BlunderCity well that goes for most man, were doomed
@@martynobs6970 that goes for you, shes normal
@@califtom thank you.
I love that you are brave enough to speak out against pornography. It ruins relationships. We need more brave people to fight against "the tobacco of our generation."
#fightthenewdrug #pornkillslove
Shes on a whole new level of gorgeous
Well, said.
*gorgeousness
Yes , off the charts woman there
Wow, I completely agree with Luke’s argument about porn being the tobacco of our generation. Porn fulfills a temporary need, just as drugs or likes on Instagram do, but the more we indulge in it, the more empty we feel inside. I think instant gratification is an epidemic in our social media driven world, and self-discipline and not needing outside approval might be part of the antidote. I appreciate how open and honest both of you were in this video. Keep up the insightful videos Lana!
Kramerino yep, it’s all about that instant gratification. Thank you so much for watching!
Bro nofap changed my life, its like being high all the time euphoric feeling except you're not doing any drugs
Kramerino faxxxx
God help us💔😭
@Cindy Lou terrified? Good luck thats a problem that *Most* men have haha and we wont just openly talk about it
I stopped watching porn a couple of months ago and I've never felt so proud of myself. It was destroying my mind, my health, my life. But now I live freely. We can all do the same♡ Love y'all
🔥🔥
What kind did you watch?
Sitting in nature and having an intelligent conversation on personal/social issues where you can understand another's perspective and add to it without making the other feel negated or invalidated... Yup. Thanks a lot Lana for showing me exactly what was missing in my life. I can work on visualizing and attaining it now. Hoping you continue to grow wiser and make videos like these 💕
Thank you for your lovely comment!
thank you for putting into words what I couldnt,
and thanks Lana for this amazing work.
this is genuinely what we lack in our misplaced social-media driven cultur.
keep up the good work sweetheart
This channel really deserves more subs.
Thank you for your support Nate!
Porn addict: I bet they smashed at the end
Non Porn addict: wow this was a great video... they seemed very informed about the mentioned topics
Real Porn Addict: She's hot. *Starts searching porn with similar looking girls*
Hassan 2k Whiteside they didn’t smash, so obvious lol
@@DoomCookie based
@Anthony Okeiyi the dude has swag... No way he got friendzoned
They hide it to seem legit
I want to start out by saying thank you Lana for the wonderful quality time video. I still believe in old become what you want to attract. So if you want someone who is respectful, caring, loyal, or whatever that may be, you need to become that person. I also think men should also dont be afraid to look to see what things you can change about yourself. I personally learned to reflect on myself even during the relationship not on what's wrong with my partner but what can I do better. Taking care of one's self is in important, does one groom, does one take a little extra effort to dress a little nicer, the suddle things tell the person, if your willing to do that for yourself, perhaps you would be willing to do that for them, all ties back into the become more of what you want to attract
Thank you Josh, and thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic - I definitely agree!
@@LanaBlakely your input is always appreciated and I enjoy videos, they have insightful information and I love that you add perception into and give a well rounded perception as well as your own thoughts on the matter.
Love to see these two insightful individuals sitting down and having a legit conversation, truly listening, and holding capacity to pick up what each is putting out. Great video!
"Seek ye the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all THESE things will added to you"(freely). Mat. 6:33
@Stefan Urban I think something in the bible says you go straight to hell if you do that so you're screwed either way lol
@Stefan Urban my cousin told me about it can't remember the passage sorry
Amen🙏Jesus is the Lord
Amen
@@jestersage8700 on a side note, I looooove your pfp because I loooove Hisoka
I'm currently playing all your videos from your oldest one. You are so insightful and well-read, I really feel like I'm growing through your videos.
We need more genuine people like you two. This is what more people need to see. I'm really happy I found this.
After finding your channel on the Ali Abdal deep dive, I am just obsessed with your videos. So many helpful insights. Keep them coming. Thanks
Nah, I think it should be a balance of focusing on self goals and improvement and at the same time looking for and pursuing someone to share your life with. You can't rely on the stars to accidentally meet someone that is the one for you, it is incredibly rare to happen, you got to push your luck more.
I also think there is an aspect of the Dunning Kruger effect, that is, as we grow in knowledge about a certain aspect of our being, we in fact begin the true realisation of the size of the task at hand. Keep pushing though this feeling until you reach the slope of enlightenment
When I got my heartbroken, I beat porn addiction in that moment. Sometimes you just need a wake up call. Other times it's sheer discipline
That is amazing.
Happy for you bro
Any tips man? Serious question
Whenever I get the feeling of looking at porn, I just repeat “discipline” in my head non-stop until I stop getting that feeling. For some reason, at least for me, it helps. Then I try to change my environment. Maybe I’ll go for a walk or call up a friend or something, basically keep yourself busy.
The issue is that over the years you psychologically condition yourself to look at porn. Kinda like how ringing a bell for food will cause a dog to salivate, doing something like laying on your bed or sitting on your desk chair or other areas where you frequently look at porn will, erm, arouse you. That’s why change in our life is necessary to break that.
@@avpthegreat ........................
First of all I don’t want to sound negative or just come out as a person that contradicts or trolls but when many people say, and I’ve seen this in many videos of other people, talking about this “self-love” and look into yourself and improve upon of what you want to find in your ideal lover, this strongly contradicts of what I feel about love and what love represents for me, which is finding in you lover EXACTLY what you don’t find in yourself, therefore completing the void that you desperately cannot fill, which is the lack of love. I’ve had self love for the first 27 years of my life and back then I felt literally no need to be with someone, never. But once I started to doubt myself and started to become weaker I suddenly felt the need for someone to hold me and truly care about me in my lowest state, with no pride, no goals, no nothing. Every time I become let’s say cocky or confident in my powers again I suddenly didn’t felt any love for anyone around me because my self love sustained me. So it drives me crazy when people talk about self-love as a solution for healthy relationships. I think sorrow and desperately needing someone is what love truly flourishes from, in that hour of need, when you are you, naked of all your strengths, not when you are strong and confident. That’s when you don’t feel anything for anyone other than yourself, because yourself us all you need, and that my friend is narcissism. And this is not me saying to be a couch potato and expect people to desperately love you. I’m just crying out loud of the individualism in relationships that is being propagated by this “self-love” concept and that is destroying true live, which is falling in each others arms vulnerable, honest and stop pretending to be tough, that’s just bull***. I think in some sense people nowadays became flawed, individualistic, egocentric and stoped carrying for the chosen lover and the total sacrifice that real love represents, if that sacrifice is ever needed. Not saying that is imperative but self-love is exactly the opposite and is detrimental to true love which is impossible to find nowadays due to modern trends like “self-love”. I almost never swear but “self-love” ? I say go fuck yourself... Btw please don’t take this personal, you are clearly good, calm gentle and logical persons but I truly feel deep down that you are wrong, that’s why I written such long post... Sorry for being a little emotional. Cheers!
Just so u know I didn’t bother to read this:/
makeouthill I understand, reading is hard
Wow, didn’t even noticed these replies. Thanks but I discovered Nietzsche so it’s all good now. Bye bye to all this love nonsense herd slave mentality. It’s all Call to Power from now on baby. Keeping my sorrows for my art in secret from now on. People and relationships don’t interest me anymore, they are just “extra spices” for my well being if they happen to be. If not then... I can do just fine by myself, sometimes even better. Being sentimental and living with resentment is for losers anyway. Is spartan life from now on, kill or be killed... Valhalla is a place to strive for anyway, and not in the unsure hands of a woman.
Wow they filmed their first date
@Modern Machiavelli Wow you're judgy aren't you
@@Colorstalker Google Machiavelli, lol
@Modern Machiavelli
I would have put that differently but yes I do agree with you he's still a very anxious guy and he's too in his head. He's a real sensitive soft type and unfortunately those things aren't always considered attractive in males. Smart guy though, but needs to work on becoming grounded and being more masculine but those things come with life experience.
@Modern Machiavelli Yeah this is good advice
@Modern Machiavelli Luke? Anxious? Yes, but definitely not as anxious as you think he is.
He used to do public pranks. Im sure he isn't as anxious as many of us are.
Do you find dating to be difficult?
Most definitely, especially the older you get.
Its because of culture what youre supposed to do and what not
Yes. I've been on many first dates.
For me it seem easier the older I get.
@@darrellcantfindtreasure5205 Good for you and glad to actually hear that is the case.
Ya whoever is scrolling through the comments hope you have a phenomenal day. Get ya bread and all the crumbs too. Stack and act broke 😤🤟🏾😤🤟🏾
Women Leech You’re lame
You too bro.. ill prey for your riches 🙂
its 3:44am xD
You should be living lower than your actual income to save money...if that makes any sense. I worded that weirdly
❤️
I like how the guy agrees that he is no expert on the topic he is speaking on but still manages to talk very meaningful and sensible things. Just awesome :)
I would say dating was super easy when I was your age, I'm assuming they both around 19 or early 20's. But now that I'm in my early 30's and been through many failed relationships it's definitely a lot harder now. You tend to take less risk when you older, you spot warning signs very quickly and much less tolerant because you know yourself very well and know what you want and what you like. You also feel comfortable being on your own so I find myself not putting in much effort anymore into finding someone.
I think Lana is actually older than she looks.
Most excellent! I had to watch both videos, yours and Luke’s twice to really get the essence of your discussion. I find connection and commitment are linked and are very important. And yes! Meditation is very key and is something I strongly encourage in my life and with others. This is an important concern to be openly discussed. Communication in many ways is central to all relationship on many levels...
When you least expect it or not looking for true love, you will find it. Happens all the time.
I stopped watching porn, became more courageous and all of that but Lana still didn’t respond to my dms smh
Respect to this fallen soldier.
@@germanfuentes9460 F
Don't view women above you because modern women don't see men above them, until you at least see yourself as an equal then will they have interest
Derek Kase bro I was playing lol quality advice tho
F
The irony here is that if you can create and live a bountiful life, then there's no more need to find someone.
But sometimes a loving partner can accelerate that path to happiness.
@@StefTechSurfer There is no such path.
@@breatheeasily4013 studies show human connection leads to longer life
@@pt6731 haveing good human connections and interactions is obviously good for you, no one is suggesting you to be unsocial, but that type of happiness or connection isn't just reserved to come from a loving partner.
Everything starts with having confidence in yourself.
A rare no-ponytail Lana sighting!
It sure does. Hah yep, pretty rare nowadays!
Confidence is a must above all agree and your energy really feeds off people around you. Positivity is great.
Yes indeed!
stay way from people that give bad energy or a bad gut feeling. This people will betray you in a second and have no regrets. sociopaths and narcissist are charming, but one clue to to spot them is that they will laugh at you, not with you.
What your saying breeds fake people....tons of them who say all the right things but believe none of it
I know plenty of confident guys who are bad with woman
Girls are actually attracted to quite boys lol so that's some shitty advice my brother 🥴
If you're ugly just be shy, watch the chicks line up 😂
Great advice before the first minute was even up. "You just have to accept that it's hard, life is hard, and to embrace the challenges that life gives us."
They’re really close to my age yet I feel like a lost child under mom and dad! Great advice and tools in this video, I’m hoping the future brings more expressive and higher brain functions out of humanity again since it’s slow.
Be honest and be yourself. When you are with someone with a matching frequency, dating is fun not hard. Never pretend to be someone else to get the other person to like you.
What is not very easy is finding someone with the matching frequency :p
My greatest goal is to have a goal.
Id like to know if you found it yet as well
Disclaimer! Great video btw! Let me share some advice with you guys, I feel as though I can help some people in the comments. I found that there aren't a lot of people in the world like me. I very rarely find someone who resonates on the same frequency as I do. With that being said, I found the greatest love you can have is for yourself. If you truly love yourself and your life, love will be in abundence everywhere. I trust the universe that my vibe will attract my tribe. It's not about 2 half's coming together. Its about 2 wholes coming together. Sending positive vibes your way. 🙏📿☮️
TheamazingPK love this 🙏🙏
TheamazingPK Beautiful.
Very well said!
Loved your comment bru, I am starting to realise the same. You’re right. It’s important to find yourself and be happy with yourself before you start sharing yourself with someone else, because you need to feel so good about yourself and not co depend on anyone or feel hurt by someone else, especially not take any dis respect. Be able to just enjoy time with someone for periods of time without compromising yourself or your likes and dislikes.
I really appreciate this video. All the topics are very relevant. Gonna check out Luke's channel now too. Seems like a good role model.
The part where he said people don't want to feel like you are getting something out of them (your own self-esteem) they want to feel loved! That's important.
Absolutely right
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GLAD I AM YOU BROUGHT THIS TOPIC TO LIGHT
It's not a gender thing, it's an individual matter. Sure men and women are different biologically and have varied interests but the core morals and core values remain the same.
As a Christian I struggled hard with wanting to watch adult videos. One of my friends took advantage of me at a young age and it spin my head around. It over sexualized me but made me afraid at a young age, I started watching those videos too young in my opinion. I got caught by my parents and it was mortifying. Years later I went through depressive episodes and I though watching those videos helped but it just made me feel lonelier and guilty. I really don't think it helps anyone it's toxic
I just discovered your channel and just wow. I love how wholesome your videos are. People needs your channel.
when everyone stops watching porn, we create a happier world where there is more attention for each other within the relationship, there would be much fewer divorces.
mgtow
Well yes, but how tf are we supposed to do that
Porn is keeping alot from having risk of stds and wait for someone special, just make hookups stop and people would value more one they find someonr
or it would be easier when women behave more like a porn star in bed - not just for alpha chad and tyrone but also for their husband/bf. women are addicted to social media ... likes and followers. it gives them an ego boost , so why we demonize porn but let women become attention whores ?
MrSmithie25 well said. It’s good to suggest less porn usage but demonizing porn isn’t the solution.
Thots will be thots tho.
This was such a great conversation and suddenly there was a screaming kid in the background. Loved really paying attention to both Lana and Luke. Hopefully, you both have another chance to get together and chat again in person. I've only seen 1 video from Lana before this one and have another 7 tabs open as you're so relaxed and chilled out. Normally I don't pay attention to UA-cam, but the one where you say you like being alone definitely resonates. Society itself makes it seem like you need to couple up, involve religion and procreation. I don't side with that notion at all. Today someone guy was trying to sell the idea of "Attracting your perfect partner." I thought of that last video and told him that the focus actually is to be selfless and help as many people around the world, which I do now and feels great. Instead of lining bank accounts, it is more about helping others achieve the freedom they are looking for. Thanks again for the video above, even though it was 1 year and 4 months ago
If you noticed the ninja at 9:05, like and comment 👍
sniff sniff
@@SnowSTARGamesRBC 🎶Bite bite, sip sip, do the deep dish combo mambo🎶
Another one at 11:27. This one's a professional. I bet you didn't see him.
Iyaiyaiya i see it
@@ClifffSVK i see it to, behind her hair?
Its awesome to find UA-cam channels like yours!!! Thank you guys!!
Love is serving others with our actions. That's God's teaching on love.
Love is not a feeling of pleasure that we feel within ourselves.
Rather, love is doing right.
It is not what we feel.
The feeling (i.e. desire) is not love, but rather lust.
So, if a person calls their feelings "love" and keeps chasing after their own feelings, they will always be disappointed and say "I haven't found love." But the truth is that they were never seeking love. They were seeking lust.
God showed His love to us in what He *did*. The Father sent the Son to buy us back from the guilt of sin, death, and the power of the devil. Jesus is now risen from the dead and is seated in glory. He will come again.
A person finds meaning when they meditate on (i.e. read) God's Word. He is the true God, and He teaches the love that
"never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Psychology is the religion of our time, and it is a foundation of sand. True faith is to believe in Jesus, who said "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25).
Great video, it's good hear a sensible conversation about a complex topic. I've basically given up finding someone. 40 years of trying to live in a world without knowing I'm neurodiverse has broken my sense of self. I'm too shy to ask anyone out, I know everyone says confidence is key but that's something I find very elusive.
Tim Bennett Have you attended any dancing class?
Hey man. You're not alone. Let me give you some wise advice. I have come to learn that there are not a lot of people like me in this world. Your vibe will attract your tribe. With that being said, don't worry to much about others, the greatest love you can give is to yourself. When you truly love yourself and the life you live, that's the only way you can truly give to and love other people. I send good vibes your way. Love you! ♥️
@@krumbergify No I live in a small fairly isolated community and there isn't anything like that here.
@@TheamazingPK Thanks for your advice, I'm seeing a therapist now to help me rebuild me identity. It's going to take a long time to heal from everything that's happened to me. Just wish I didn't get so lonely. Have a great day. :)
I have more growing up to do
We all do!
Don't play what you think someone wants.
Be what you want to be.
Beautiful auras:)
This was great
Well I just got one video of this lovely girl as a recommendation on youtube and wow I am impressed and happy. She gave me another perspective of how to deal with my problems, thanks 😊
These conversations are so incredibly important! Young men are in serious trouble these days when it comes to confidence and understanding women! Thank you for everything you do!
I'm thrilled to hear my content is helping someone. Thank you!
An amazing channel, both yours and Luke's, so happy I found them
Thank you for the support!
lf2 is 10/10, good taste, mate
Over analyzing for no reason. The reality is that forever alone people have demons they’re scared of. Most likely, scared someone will find out about certain things you’ve concealed your entire life. The real question is, do you believe in love? Or do you believe in fear? Does fear really trump love? Is any combination of factors, battles, and fears worth you not experiencing a higher reality?
What kind of fears do people fear will be exposed?
In the end, loving yourself radiates good vibes and can lead to good things, one of them such as making other people to be interested in you in this context. But then most important is that you still have to be on tract towards your goals and let the romance be a bonus...
I love the hair lana!
Ahh thank you!
It's probably a wig.
@@krieng lol
Ha , she could do shampoo commercials with that gorgeous do’
Dating and finding a soul mate is so easy to figure out, but only after you have found it and done it and lived it. Choose Wisely.
Wow, Lana, this video was very informative and amazing !!!!!!! you literally opened my mind about dating and focusing on inner self. 😀 thank you. Keep on doing this great work. 😇
I am impressed with the guy here, the way he expressed himself. You can tell he means what he is saying.
And kodos for being honest, it takes a lot of courage
I want friends like you guys
Saaaaame
•Then be one😛
•GO out and try to find them
Xdd yeah fr me too
1:35
I'm not sure I agree with that. It's true that we shouldn't wholly ignore our own interests, but by that same token many relationships have been ended unnecessarily because individuals mistake difficult periods for incompatibility, or temporary lack of passion for a dead-end relationship. No human being inspires romantic passion forever; eventually, you will be faced with moments where you stick around with someone because you choose to, not because you desire to. As I understand it, dating is learning to interact with another person in a romantic context, and testing to see if such a partnership would work.
If 80 percent of it is spent working on yourself, that doesn't seem to leave a lot of room for learning what your responsibilities are towards the other person. Which is at least part of why I've been so loathed to engage in it myself, as I know there are things about myself I need to correct before presuming to jump into such a commitment involving another person. If you jump into something that you yourself are not ready for, you're just wasting the other person's time.
2:28
Yes, exactly this. However, that does leave the universally awkward question: how? Presumably it has to be something more substantive than "doing something", in order to feel like it's a worthwhile or valuable goal.
4:30
Yeah... no that's still an issue for me. It never ceases to amaze me how unreasonably happy I can be by a compliment from my crush, and simultaneously forget how many crushes I had before whose words carried the same power, but no longer.
I understand the value of getting validation from something other than the opinions of others. I am not so sure getting validation in career goals or similar projects is much better, however.
7:04
I think fixation on ourselves is part of *why* so many people become needy in relationships. Because they are so focused on what they need, rather than what their own responsibilities are in the relationship. So much of this, however, is dependent upon how clearly you yourself are examining the relationship accurately: is the partner being needy, or are you neglectful, and vice versa. You don't want to ignore your significant other's legitimate needs, but likewise you shouldn't just kowtow to their every whim.
9:00
So what is a "meaningful goal"? What *makes* it meaningful? We can all agree that meaning is important for people's personal development, but unless the criteria for what makes it meaningful is identified, it's little better than saying we ought to pursue things which are "good", or "right", or "as they ought to be". And it's in that space of identifying the source of meaning that so many conflicts across philosophy, religion, and politics find their root.
9:57
I have a very cynical outlook on human nature, so forgive me if this comes across as overly critical: What is this inner self, and why should you appeal to it as the source of meaningful goals? Why would you assume that those desires (what you really want) are reflective of that which you *ought* to want? If we ourselves are the source of meaningful goals, why does the world that we (human beings collectively) created not seem to reflect that?
10:45
I agree fully. I do think it begs the question though: why is such an activity (and the consequences it reaps on the subconscious) bad, undesirable, or otherwise not meaningful? Why shouldn't people sexualize individuals whom they have not met or otherwise do not have a romantic bond with, and why should that be shameful or uncomfortable? Again, I am in full agreement with the assertion. But it would be helpful to explain what those consequences are, and why relationships might be rightfully jeopardized by such behavior.
John, your insightful comments have been missed. Thank you!
The collaboration we didn't know we needed.
Im an average person. If I want to date, I can. But I think finding some who genuinely loves u for who u are is a very rare thing. Although engaging in dates can give u improvement, It still worth to try. I started working out and improving myself cus I realized that those shallow girls dont deserve my “true” love, but they can have my infatuation.
Focusing on the self is the betrayal of Love.
There is love and then there is Love.
love is incapable of ever giving birth to Love.
love has a sense of division and separation, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering.
Love does not.
love originates in the brain.
Love does not.
love is a chemical process of the brain.
Love is not.
love is possessive, controlling, jealous, envious, etc.
Love is not.
love is given and received.
Love is not given or received.
Love is not like a commodity traded in the market.
love is limited.
Love is not limited.
love can be increased.
Love cannot be increased.
love has many levels.
Love has no levels.
Either one is capable of Love or one is not.
love is the opposite of hate. love and hate are opposite sides of the same coin.
Love has no opposite.
love loves only some.
Love Loves all.
Love does not exclude anyone or anything.
love is the movement of the I, the me, the self, the so-called True or Higher Self, which is the invention of the past conditioning of the brain.
Total Freedom from this delusion is the beginning of Love, in each and every moment of daily life.
First, you must be capable of Relationship.
What passes for Relationship is like 2 parallel lines that never meet.
The I, the me, the self, the so-called True Self or Higher Self, is an illusion invented from the past conditioning of the brain.
It invents a sense of division and separation between the me and the not me, which breeds conflict, violence, and suffering in daily life. Therefore, no Relationship.
There is only what passes for Relationship, which is merely mutual exploitation and mutual self-gratification.
Total Freedom from this illusion is the beginning of Relationship, Communication, Communion, Connection for the very first time, in each and every moment of daily life.
Do Jacob's Ladder. Takes less than 90 minutes. Google "Total Enlightenment NOW!".
I had an ex who dumped me and I totally accepted it (initially) but then.. post-breakup he became SUPER attached to me but didn't want to commit - only citing me as an 'option' for the future (when he's ready). I got so hurt and mentally fucked up cause of how much he dragged the breakup longer than necessary. I absolutely loved that man. Yet I realised, he didn't love me as genuine as I had - where I even accepted the breakup (even though I didn't want it.)
It's sad that relationship is seen as a 'goal' now. There is this added pressure and high expectation we put on our partners which they cannot totally fulfill. Instead we should complete ourselves first and foremost. You can let go of someone even if you love them because as Maya Angelou puts it, "Love Liberates." Tusen tack Lana! :)
a very insightful conversation! loved what you both had to say
Love the way Young Lana didn't blink when he said he had a porn addiction. LMFAO.
This babe is an angel sent from heaven to make this world a better place.❤
enlightening discourse. The key for me, speaking as a male, is not to make too big a deal of it. Loosen up, laugh at things more. Try and find joy in the little things. Talk to girls as though you don't care about the outcome: do not be outcome-dependent. Watch how things change.
Thanks for having such a positive impact on social media God Bless you Lana.
What a wholesome and honest video. Thank you guys!
Lana I would love to see you and Mr. Reagan do a show together once a week to jointly discuss your most talked about episode for the week
Your presence on set together is dynamic
This video made me feel so comfy. Like I was part of the conversation as well.
Seeing two very attractive young people talk about how you don't need to be defined by relationships is like seeing two multimillionaires talk about how you don't need to be defined by your money. These two are in high demand so they can afford to be above it all. Joe and Jane Butterface do not have the same luxury.
dropping a like for the kid crying in the playground
we have all been dragged from the slide when we didnt want to leave yall 🙃
i like this! Its so real...! Thank You Lana and Luke
Judgement have effect on our behaviour. Without it, we can live with more freedom and have better interaction with other people. Don't expect everybody is perfect, but learn from that so we can grow together. Congrats for making interesting content Lana
9:05
SQUIRREL!!!
The real starr of the show
Focus on what they are saying.
sniff sniff
How cute is it...
😂😂😂. This guy is funny
Totally agree. You have to have courage, get out of your comfort zone, I met my girl after I joined a social organization outside of my campus. I'm an introvert and I don't really like socializing and being around lots of people but if i want my life to change, if I want to improve myself, then f**k it, just do it. So I joined and I met her.
And I personally think you have to have a passion or a hobby, my girl said that I look attractive when I talk about something I have passion in it, I know a lot about it. I love automotive, I ride a motorcycle (a Ninja 300 :v) and I talked about it to her, I asked her to ride with me, I even taught her how to ride a motorcycle. Now when I see a BMW M4 or a Yamaha R1 on the street, I'm not the only one screaming like crazy, bcoz she also know a lot now 😂
But even with all of that, That doesn't guarantee that you'll found your true love that easy. Little did I know she was already in a relationship with someone else and now she's engaged. F*kin beech.
Sorry Lana, I know this is a comment section, not a confide section :v
Advice to readers: don't just talk, feel what your saying, walk the walk
Look inside and know that it is about commitment. Also know that love is something totally different than falling in love. True love grows with time if both are truly committed. The one you fall in love with tells you nothing about your potential future relationship.
Lana, I don't know if you've ever thought of this, but the fact that you are in the top 99.9 percentile of most beautiful girls would statistically make it incredibly difficult for you to even find a guy who would have the inner capacity to be able to attract you on a superficial level in the first place, let alone being able to handle being in a relationship with you (because most guys who would be able to attract you in the moment are probably riding one or another form of a wave of social momentum/ emotionally propped up by external social forces, which would inevitably wear out and leave their underlying weakness to eventually cause them to become emotionally dependant, manifesting either in neediness or some form of aggression (this can happen relatively quickly, or further down the road into an actual relationship, I'm sure you've seen this sort of thing happen before with guys you've dated)). There's a Chinese fictional character called 独孤求败, which means something like "the lonely one begging to be defeated" because he is apparently so much better than everyone that he is very lonely (someone called me this in China when I kept beating everyone at pool). So among everything else, this is a position that you are in that's unique to extremely beautiful girls (and something that is not politically correct to talk about, and something that for obvious reasons you probably couldn't talk about to anyone, or maybe even admit to yourself, but it's definitely a factor) (by the way this is more a comment on the other video with the same guy, which I also watched (insomnia...))
V interesting
And by beating, I’m thinking you are talking about making the other person’s defeat mesmerizing, or in a puzzled way. Kind of like a mental strain. Correct me if I’m wrong, I completely agree with your aspect tho, since this resonates to some people.
World is full of beautiful women and often they are in relationship. I don't know where you get 99,9%. She is pretty but I doubt she belongs there. Beauty means different things for different people. You can't really measure beauty. It depends on who you ask.There are handsome men, too. There are so many more important things than looks. I am sure Lana find someone if she wants to, like so many other beautiful women. And I don't think looks is the most important thing in the guy for her.
Its so true, people focus way too much on finding a partner and not themselves.
Dude speaks some truth
A little superficial. He has easy, ready-to-think solutions to complex problems.
I love her i love him and i hope they love each other lmfao
BlunderCity don’t be such a perfectionist, of course he has to be multifaceted in these scenarios to keep the audience engaged, but generally he did a good job.
True love is unconditional & denying one’s self/own definition of giving & receiving affection never meant to be/feel loved for what we are but rather for what others narcissistically wish/percieve..
Came here for Lana, stayed for the trees...
yes those trees just know how to be
I came for lana but stayed for the playground
I came for Lana, but stayed for that green fence in the back
I came for Lana, and stained my pants.
Richard I knew this would happen
I don’t know if anybody think the same, but my advise for pathway to a good relationship is be yourself, and become the person you want to love.
Some people goal in life is to find love though, and the feeling to be loved 😔
How finding love is a goal? We live in a world where relationship, dating and sex have been given too much importance especially in the western world, we see ppl dating even in high school. And another thing that I noticed in the western world is that sex is given more importance than other aspects of relationship. Love is something you find , it's a natural process. When we try to make it happen, it creates problem. You can't be deliberate about these things. They are supposed to happen and if they don't it's perfectly ok although in the later case society puts pressure on you to just find someone. Unless those feelings are natural and not forced it won't succeed.
You don't have to find the love but you may find the love.
@Kick Jowkowski I always find myself having a crush on introverted guys more than the noisy-extroverted ones. Shy guys are way more cute, so you're wrong. We give introverted ones a chance. :)
@@CV-yy9qz The gesture is nice, but as an introverted guy, we know that ain't true.
@солнцевская солнцевская братва what's your definition of "attractive"? genuinely asking, because you're putting my words in doubt when you're the one with a complex here. :)
@@Hybrid_Technique Okay, but someone probably likes you and you can't even notice it bc of your "we know that ain't true" attitude towards relationships. Keep in mind that you're probably cute to lots of people out there. :)
A man should be like a fireman in relationships, calm cool and collected but knows what to do when it's not going so well
I really really appreciated and loved the section You shared on porn addiction. My long distance husband had one, and says he doesn’t watch it any more, but he has all these expectations from me that mirror his desires from his porn addiction. It has really made me feel insecure about my body and myself and doubt my appearance and knock my self esteem. I’m quite unhappy and can’t really get that across to him. As he’s so sweet otherwise. We haven’t had sex yet, but I’m terrified to. 🥺🥺🥺
In other words, guys, put yourself first or you won't get respected. No respect no attraction. Has nothing to do with love.
Lana you’re welcome on the podcast anytime💯
Just stumbled upon this channel today. At first I thought that you're really fine in the looks but when you speak out it's like english is not your native lang. I like these kinds of conversations. To me it seem so relaxing. I could watch /listen to it with the PIP extension in my chrome browser and just get on with work and this video is just in minimal sized but floating on top of all my tabs. Watched 4 videos so far but I liked it. Also the thing with porn addiction is not all that bad. I'm kind of a man of culture myself but it just serves me well with my introvert self. It feels really good when its used to deflect shallow and judgmental people away from your life. I find it kind of a weird shield that works like those regular ones. Anyways, I dig these kinds of relaxing conversations. I miss having people talk deep like this for hours on end. When we get pass the stage of being relaxed teenagers we had to work and its been so hectic for me. I look forward to more of your content.
I feel like I didn't finish my first sentence so here it is. You're more interesting than just your looks. And thanks!
Cleaning my room is harder than getting a PhD
lol
This is a really great conversation, I like these people.