Everybody loves a Birthday Party unless it is yours and you're creeping closer to that half-century mark and ...... When you wake up in the morning your first thought isn't rolling over and getting frisky with your Significant Other whether they be a man, woman, or battery-operated toy but instead, how you hope you can make it to the toilet before your bladder explodes. When you climb out of bed in the morning and the very first words out of your mouth are not, "Good Morning Sunshine" but are instead a mumbling grunt that rises in volume as you take each step. When every time someone wishes you a "Happy Birthday" your first reaction is to wince before thanking them OR telling them to "Go to Hell" depending on who they are. When you go to your actual Birthday Party and ALL of the presents are "Joke Presents" that their sole purpose is to remind you how old you actually are, where you can't eat your own Birthday Cake because you are borderline risk for diabetes, and where you can't even slam down a few adult beverages because of the numerous medications you are on will clash with them. Then, when you finally get home and into bed for a little "Adult Time' with your partner (at the very late hour of 9pm), you fall asleep while waiting for them to brush their teeth in the bathroom as they stand next to your teeth which are "brushing themselves" in a glass on the counter. Yaaaaay, Happy Birthday Everyone
Everybody loves a Birthday Party unless it is yours and you're creeping closer to that half-century mark and ......
When you wake up in the morning your first thought isn't rolling over and getting frisky with your Significant Other whether they be a man, woman, or battery-operated toy but instead, how you hope you can make it to the toilet before your bladder explodes.
When you climb out of bed in the morning and the very first words out of your mouth are not, "Good Morning Sunshine" but are instead a mumbling grunt that rises in volume as you take each step.
When every time someone wishes you a "Happy Birthday" your first reaction is to wince before thanking them OR telling them to "Go to Hell" depending on who they are.
When you go to your actual Birthday Party and ALL of the presents are "Joke Presents" that their sole purpose is to remind you how old you actually are, where you can't eat your own Birthday Cake because you are borderline risk for diabetes, and where you can't even slam down a few adult beverages because of the numerous medications you are on will clash with them.
Then, when you finally get home and into bed for a little "Adult Time' with your partner (at the very late hour of 9pm), you fall asleep while waiting for them to brush their teeth in the bathroom as they stand next to your teeth which are "brushing themselves" in a glass on the counter.
Yaaaaay, Happy Birthday Everyone
☹️ promo sm