15 Things that weigh more, the longer you carry them: 1. Unforgiveness 2. Debt 3. Pride 4. A negative self-image 5. Perfectionism 6. Fear of Failure 7. Procrastination 8. Regret 9. Jealousy 10. Social Comparisons 11. Negativity 12. Unfullfiling Relationships 13. Guilt and Shame 14. Unresolved Conflict 15. Need to be right
Joshua this was a 5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ video. Once when I was a kid, I was holding a grudge against a girl who had been mean to me. My Dad noticed something was wrong and when I told him what was going on and he saw I was holding a grudge he told me that holding a grudge was like letting someone live rent free in my head....
I’m in my 60’s and a quote I found in my 20’s has been in my psyche and a motivational phrase I recall frequently. “ Nothing is so exhausting as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task”. Not even sure the source but I had a sign on my desk for years with that quote. I no longer need the sign.
I’d say that negative self image comes from social comparisons, & a lot of the time, perfectionism. Be grateful with your uniqueness & everything that serves you well.
I love Jack Kornfield’s 3 way forgiveness: ways I’ve harmed others, ways I’ve harmed myself & ways others have harmed me. Such a relief to release these! Ty ❤
I cannot tell you how timely your message came to me. I’ll watch this video many more times to deal with the turmoil I’m going through right now. Thank you Joshua. 🙏
Joshua, Wow! Being a perfectionist & always right are 2 really big ones I struggle with. A few yrs ago, I realized during a conversation with someone that I had to be right. My Hubby pointed it out to me later & that's when I realized it was an issue. I have strived to back down & just keep my mouth shut because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. My struggle to be a perfectionist I'm still working on. 🤪
Often it's a need to control that shows up as being right or perfection. Stinks- I'm the same!! I find that it rears its head when my world is out of control in some way. Calling out the unsettle helps me reign it back in.
Your messages every week always resonate, this one in particular as I need to let go of the anger I have toward family members who have hurt me so badly, the fact is they don't care, never will and I have to move forward and save myself. Thank you for your Friday videos they help so many people!
Thank you Joshua. I’ve recently moved internationally and even though I thought I minimalised down, I received my shipment and realised I don’t need even half now. Thank you for your reminders here and this is part of minimalising too…our mind, heart and soul. Great points and they helped remind me I have more work to do. Love this and thanks for this video. It helped all who watch.
Wow. Thank you for this message. I really needed to hear these! Sometimes, I feel like there is more to my simplifying/decluttering journey than just physical stuff - I think this video covers it.
Sometimes I have struggled in my life feeling like I am not heard by others and that is where perfectionism and needing to be right was important to be. I'm working on being better by not letting that beat up my ego
Thank you, Joshua! I needed this reminder today. I have worked through some of these things, I am making progress on others, and I do feel more freedom and peace. God bless you and your family!
Wow-you just nailed all the reasons I am so unhappy and dissatified I am with my life. Thank you for providing light and hope to all of us who battle with these feelings. May God bless you as richly as you have blessed us. ❤
Indeed! I always cling to our Dear God to clear my busy mind & the best is lift everything to HIM, he never fails:) Thank you for this wonderful message!
You can rewrite your life by focusing on the positive. That way you are detached from the negative. Leave everything negative that's happened to you in the past by not thinking about it because as soon as you start thinking about it you're drawn back into a course that you don't want to follow. When you move forward you also move ahead spiritually.
WOW! What a great video for this week! I definitely resonated with a few of the things you mentioned, but I have been working on bettering myself for so long. I have made some great progress and fee proud of that and feel like a better person over all, although I strive to be better every day, it's work , but worth it! I'm so glad you are on You Tube as i have stopped using Facebook , I was following your page on Facebook, but left Facebook , it just became such an unbearable place to be for me. So I look forward to the weekly videos here on You Tube!
Wise, as usual. I most appreciated the solution to jealousy about focusing our energies on what we already have. I don't see myself as jealous, usually, but when you said that, I realized I have areas of coveting that I need to address. And the unresolved conflict? Prayers for wisdom, courage, and God-led opportunity are appreciated. Thanks, as always!
Thank you so much dear Joshua for this powerful message. It is so true and a beautiful reminder to look beyond the stuff. Living peacefully with ourselves, our neighbours and our belongings, I think that’s what most of us truly desire.
A good episode. Whenever I am bothered by any one of these I pause and ask myself why is this bothering me and what can I do to make it better? Be honest with yourself and others.
Thanks a lot for this week’s vlog Joshua. All of the 15 things you mentioned indeed weigh down on us. I feel like I will view this over and over again. It’s like I am in a spiritual deepening retreat. 🙏 May God continue to bless you as you bless others. 🙏
Thank you so much for your inspirational videos Joshua. This video hits the nail on the head. I often watch & listen to you & often times on repeat bc it resonates so much with my life. Sometimes all the unnecessary distractions keep us from focusing on what really matters the most in life.
Thank you , you have stated most of what we have currently or have experienced .The only problem is resolving it.People have to want to change depending on each individual's personality or set mindset.
I believe these areas of letting go are way more valuable than decluttering physical objects (however, I love doing that also). I love that your videos are to the point and concise. Thank you for all that you do!❤️
Wow. Life has just felt so heavy lately. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other to make headway in any direction. Although the big situational things aren't even in this list, having a few of the things I have carried for decades pointed out makes it logical that when the big stuff was piled on top, I feel immobilized. Thank you as always, Joshua, for illuminating what is right in front of us and shining a light on the pathway out.
Wonderful message ❤ Forgiveness is so important for a happy, fullfilled life ❤ This video couldn't have come at a better time for me actually - thank you for sharing your wisdom Joshua :) It's deeply appreciated ❤️
Great video! Lots of things to let go of, but communicated in a peaceful, encouraging way. Thanks! One request: could you turn your audio up louder in your videos? Thanks!
I love this video! The content is meaningful and yet said simply. I find most them are complex subjects to tackle. Thank you, Joshua! Just a thought that came to my mind when I misheard the last one actually… what do you think about the need to be always liked?
Never be envious. Because that envious can be turned into jealousy. Learn to be content for what you have. Gratitude goes a long ways If you look at your neighbor that may have a bigger home that might have came at a cost. And sometimes that cost isn't worth the sacrifice. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors but we do know what goes behind our own doors. And that's where our family life is created.
thank you for your continued wisdom and imparting it in a simplistic meaningful language. So many of these topics resonated with me, and i would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to truly begin to heal by focusing my attention on them. Are these subjects contained in your newest book?
When I found out what forgiveness really was, it was easy, or rather I saw that I had already done it. Or rather I had done all I could do. One thing about guilt and shame and what others think you “should” do can produce a sense of false guilt about supposedly “not forgiving” someone. And the primary question really is forgive what? You have to at least call someone on the carpet in your own mind for a wrong before you can forgive them for it. Otherwise it’s like denying that any wrong was ever done. And then all you’re doing is adding more “to do burdens” to yourself that you shouldn’t have to carry for someone else. And that person isn’t ever held accountable. Forgiveness is the caboose tho. Not the lead train car, so take all the time you need. Nobody else can tell you when the right time for it is. Only yourself. “If your brother offends you, REBUKE him. IF he repents, forgive him.” Well ya know. Some people don’t repent and some people gaslight folks into claiming they did no wrong. So if they don’t repent, the ball is still in their court and it’s just not our serve. It’s not our fault that someone holds the ball hostage and the game cannot finish and play out. Do not accept that version. Let yourself know what they did wrong and then let go of trying to control their karma and justice when you’re ready for it. Hand it over to God or the universe Bcuz the control over it was never ours to begin with and they for sure are more qualified to handle it better than we ever were. You are simply walking away from this game that will never end Bcuz someone who did you wrong never will want to admit they did you wrong. It’s not our job to pick up the ball and take it upon ourselves to serve their ball. That is only doing too much work for someone else that they should be working to do themselves. It was quite a relief for me to comprehend that there was nothing left for me to do but move on with my own life. It was funny to me really. Forgiveness is simply letting go of control over something that we never had control over in the first place. It is merely accepting reality and truth and that helps you move on to better things in your life. We simply cannot “make” anyone do right/repent and we cannot “make “ justice happen. Neither can we undo or glaze over what cannot be undone or justify their actions. We just have to accept those facts Bcuz it’s what is true. They did wrong. They won’t repent. And there is nothing we can really do to change those facts. It does sound counterintuitive and seems ironic but simply accepting these facts really does give us our own power back and breaks the chains that once bound us to that toxic person. We can for sure then walk lighter as we are no longer dragging their dead weight around with us anymore. And another aspect of it also is that yes. They’re not any less of an A-hole just Bcuz we forgive them. We do it for ourselves, not for them.
Hah. I just realized that the short version would be don’t sacrifice your own self respect on the altar of pseudo “forgiveness.” Altruism truly can be overdone and misplaced and become more like some lopsided one legged race for the over giver where nobody benefits. I’m a fan of deliberate forgiveness when someone is ready. But I am against “pressure to forgive” from others. And I’m not that altruistic really. I only did it in relation to my former egregious abusers when it both benefited me and when it made sense to me. Not a second sooner. (And a lot of times there really IS a lot of confusion around how I was wronged, if I was wronged etc. Who did me wrong. Those things had to get a thorough work over before I was in any position to forgive or Aka “let go.”). It should just one day organically become more about our life and healing and naturally evolve into them becoming more and more irrelevant to our lives. We can’t make these abusers do anything but other people (often hyper ignorant about such things) don’t have the right to “make” us do anything either. Without proper acknowledgment and validation of our experience FIRST, nothing is accomplished, just as nobody is going anywhere when the cart goes before the horses.
15 Things that weigh more, the longer you carry them:
1. Unforgiveness
2. Debt
3. Pride
4. A negative self-image
5. Perfectionism
6. Fear of Failure
7. Procrastination
8. Regret
9. Jealousy
10. Social Comparisons
11. Negativity
12. Unfullfiling Relationships
13. Guilt and Shame
14. Unresolved Conflict
15. Need to be right
Thank-you for doing this 😊
Thank you!
Joshua this was a 5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ video. Once when I was a kid, I was holding a grudge against a girl who had been mean to me. My Dad noticed something was wrong and when I told him what was going on and he saw I was holding a grudge he told me that holding a grudge was like letting someone live rent free in my head....
Yes, so true!
THANK YOU FOR THIS WORDS
Thank you for this video ❤️👍🙏🦋
Very true n shd learn to let go.
It's never too late to seek a new world for ourselves - on the inside and out.
I’m in my 60’s and a quote I found in my 20’s has been in my psyche and a motivational phrase I recall frequently. “ Nothing is so exhausting as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task”. Not even sure the source but I had a sign on my desk for years with that quote. I no longer need the sign.
I’d say that negative self image comes from social comparisons, & a lot of the time, perfectionism. Be grateful with your uniqueness & everything that serves you well.
I love Jack Kornfield’s 3 way forgiveness: ways I’ve harmed others, ways I’ve harmed myself & ways others have harmed me. Such a relief to release these! Ty ❤
There are times when you think you know what the problem is... but you just need to hear it from someone else. Just want to say, thank you🙏🏼
I cannot tell you how timely your message came to me. I’ll watch this video many more times to deal with the turmoil I’m going through right now. Thank you Joshua. 🙏
Joshua, Wow! Being a perfectionist & always right are 2 really big ones I struggle with. A few yrs ago, I realized during a conversation with someone that I had to be right. My Hubby pointed it out to me later & that's when I realized it was an issue. I have strived to back down & just keep my mouth shut because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. My struggle to be a perfectionist I'm still working on. 🤪
Often it's a need to control that shows up as being right or perfection. Stinks- I'm the same!! I find that it rears its head when my world is out of control in some way. Calling out the unsettle helps me reign it back in.
Your messages every week always resonate, this one in particular as I need to let go of the anger I have toward family members who have hurt me so badly, the fact is they don't care, never will and I have to move forward and save myself. Thank you for your Friday videos they help so many people!
Thank you Joshua. I’ve recently moved internationally and even though I thought I minimalised down, I received my shipment and realised I don’t need even half now. Thank you for your reminders here and this is part of minimalising too…our mind, heart and soul. Great points and they helped remind me I have more work to do. Love this and thanks for this video. It helped all who watch.
Joshua I love the way God is using you to help others. Love this!
Wise words. I know that doing things that I have put off really does remove the clutter in my head. I agree with all the other points too. Thank you.
Wow. Thank you for this message. I really needed to hear these! Sometimes, I feel like there is more to my simplifying/decluttering journey than just physical stuff - I think this video covers it.
Sometimes I have struggled in my life feeling like I am not heard by others and that is where perfectionism and needing to be right was important to be. I'm working on being better by not letting that beat up my ego
Thank you, Joshua! I needed this reminder today. I have worked through some of these things, I am making progress on others, and I do feel more freedom and peace. God bless you and your family!
Wow-you just nailed all the reasons I am so unhappy and dissatified I am with my life. Thank you for providing light and hope to all of us who battle with these feelings. May God bless you as richly as you have blessed us. ❤
Glad it was helpful to you. Thank you for watching and sharing.
Indeed! I always cling to our Dear God to clear my busy mind & the best is lift everything to HIM, he never fails:) Thank you for this wonderful message!
Joshua, I can always depend on you to produce a much needed video. I reckon that a large number of people will benefit from this one. Thanks.
You can rewrite your life by focusing on the positive.
That way you are detached from the negative.
Leave everything negative that's happened to you in the past by not thinking about it because as soon as you start thinking about it you're drawn back into a course that you don't want to follow. When you move forward you also move ahead spiritually.
WOW! What a great video for this week! I definitely resonated with a few of the things you mentioned, but I have been working on bettering myself for so long. I have made some great progress and fee proud of that and feel like a better person over all, although I strive to be better every day, it's work , but worth it! I'm so glad you are on You Tube as i have stopped using Facebook , I was following your page on Facebook, but left Facebook , it just became such an unbearable place to be for me. So I look forward to the weekly videos here on You Tube!
Excellent message today! Broken down and highlighted without “preaching at” and it all ade so much sense.
Wise, as usual. I most appreciated the solution to jealousy about focusing our energies on what we already have. I don't see myself as jealous, usually, but when you said that, I realized I have areas of coveting that I need to address. And the unresolved conflict? Prayers for wisdom, courage, and God-led opportunity are appreciated. Thanks, as always!
Just found your channel....Perfectionism....a tough one with adhd/ptsd issues...but worth the battle. Thanks and subscribed.
Thank you for sharing this video 💛 I feel like letting go of these things feels so much lighter than any physical decluttering! ☺️
Me..me….me me me. Oh heavens I’ve got some work ahead of Me. Thank you for your wisdom Joshua 🙏🏼
What a beautiful list and a life-changing strategy. Thank you Joshua!
Thank you, a great video. I will rewatch this one again for sure. I love the succinctness of the descriptions ... simple but effective.
This is powerful! I need to work on several of these things. Perfection & procrastination especially.
Thank you so much dear Joshua for this powerful message. It is so true and a beautiful reminder to look beyond the stuff. Living peacefully with ourselves, our neighbours and our belongings, I think that’s what most of us truly desire.
Powerful!! This message will free a lot of people!!
A good episode. Whenever I am bothered by any one of these I pause and ask myself why is this bothering me and what can I do to make it better? Be honest with yourself and others.
Love this!! Thank You!! I’m writing it down and placing it where I’ll see it everyday!!! 👍🏻❤️
Thanks a lot for this week’s vlog Joshua. All of the 15 things you mentioned indeed weigh down on us. I feel like I will view this over and over again. It’s like I am in a spiritual deepening retreat. 🙏 May God continue to bless you as you bless others. 🙏
When looking at others, the need to be right is easy to spot. However, I think it’s harder to spot this detrimental characteristic in one’s own self.
Thank you so much for your inspirational videos Joshua. This video hits the nail on the head. I often watch & listen to you & often times on repeat bc it resonates so much with my life. Sometimes all the unnecessary distractions keep us from focusing on what really matters the most in life.
An uplifting morning prayer (here in Switzerland) and a beautifully broadening conception of minimalism
Great video. I struggle with most of these. No wonder I'm exhausted all the time! Thank you for sharing.
I look forward to these thoughts each week, thank you.
Good advice as always! Thanks for the light you shed on so many things!
Needed this video today. Thank you for sharing these 15 weigh-down things. ❤your vlogs
Thank you! I was looking forward to your post today, and it was powerful!
Timely message Joshua, thank you for this!
Thank you , you have stated most of what we have currently or have experienced .The only problem is resolving it.People have to want to change depending on each individual's personality or set mindset.
I believe these areas of letting go are way more valuable than decluttering physical objects (however, I love doing that also). I love that your videos are to the point and concise. Thank you for all that you do!❤️
Super great! It's very clear your values are rooted in scripture. Thanks for such great advice!
Wow. Life has just felt so heavy lately. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other to make headway in any direction. Although the big situational things aren't even in this list, having a few of the things I have carried for decades pointed out makes it logical that when the big stuff was piled on top, I feel immobilized. Thank you as always, Joshua, for illuminating what is right in front of us and shining a light on the pathway out.
Wonderful message ❤ Forgiveness is so important for a happy, fullfilled life ❤ This video couldn't have come at a better time for me actually - thank you for sharing your wisdom Joshua :) It's deeply appreciated ❤️
Great video! Lots of things to let go of, but communicated in a peaceful, encouraging way. Thanks!
One request: could you turn your audio up louder in your videos? Thanks!
Merci Joshua 🙏🏻, chacune de vos vidéos est un rayon de soleil dans ma semaine.
Thank you! I will be listening to this again!
Thank you so much for this wonderful video. My burden is regret and debt. Hopefully this year I can turn this around!
Love Your Teachings !!!❤
You are very kind, thank you.
Thank you! Truly enjoy your videos.
What a wonderful message. Thank you Joshua!
Great reminders. Thanks
I love this video! The content is meaningful and yet said simply. I find most them are complex subjects to tackle. Thank you, Joshua!
Just a thought that came to my mind when I misheard the last one actually… what do you think about the need to be always liked?
I so enjoy our videos and insight. Thank you
Brilliant! Shared with most of my friends and family. 💓 Thank you.😘
Great advice!
Thank you so much for this video. Some of these definitely resonate with me, and I am inspired to lessen the burden moving forward!
Great message.
Yes, I needed this conversation. Thank you
Lovely message Joshua.
Thank you Joshua
Powerful message! Thanks so much for sharing ❤. I have some work to do!
Never be envious. Because that envious can be turned into jealousy. Learn to be content for what you have. Gratitude goes a long ways
If you look at your neighbor that may have a bigger home that might have came at a cost. And sometimes that cost isn't worth the sacrifice.
We don't know what goes on behind closed doors but we do know what goes behind our own doors. And that's where our family life is created.
You always have good, common sense advice. Thank you
Thanks
Amen and Thank You so much for this Video
Great list! Thank you for sharing this video.
Good stuff!! Thank you! May God bless you as you bless others.
Thanks for the great video! Clutter is not just physical 🤓
Thank you for all of your videos, Joshua!
WOW - you hit the nail on every item. Thanks.
Thank you so much Joshua for this video
I will save this and listen to it over and over!!❤
Thank you.
Your videos always are timed perfectly with certain situations of my life. Thank you!
Just great 💪🏻keep the great advice coming….what a happier better world we would live in if everybody took that advice.
Such a good reminder thank you
This is such a good list, thanks for sharing Joshua!
Such great points! Thanks Joshua
thank you for your continued wisdom and imparting it in a simplistic meaningful language. So many of these topics resonated with me, and i would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to truly begin to heal by focusing my attention on them. Are these subjects contained in your newest book?
Good message Joshua. Thanks. Amen.
What a beautiful reminder!
I absolutely always appreciate your wisdom.
Thank you for this helpful video!!
Thank you so much for this video, Joshua!
When I found out what forgiveness really was, it was easy, or rather I saw that I had already done it. Or rather I had done all I could do. One thing about guilt and shame and what others think you “should” do can produce a sense of false guilt about supposedly “not forgiving” someone. And the primary question really is forgive what? You have to at least call someone on the carpet in your own mind for a wrong before you can forgive them for it. Otherwise it’s like denying that any wrong was ever done. And then all you’re doing is adding more “to do burdens” to yourself that you shouldn’t have to carry for someone else. And that person isn’t ever held accountable. Forgiveness is the caboose tho. Not the lead train car, so take all the time you need. Nobody else can tell you when the right time for it is. Only yourself.
“If your brother offends you, REBUKE him. IF he repents, forgive him.” Well ya know. Some people don’t repent and some people gaslight folks into claiming they did no wrong. So if they don’t repent, the ball is still in their court and it’s just not our serve. It’s not our fault that someone holds the ball hostage and the game cannot finish and play out.
Do not accept that version. Let yourself know what they did wrong and then let go of trying to control their karma and justice when you’re ready for it. Hand it over to God or the universe Bcuz the control over it was never ours to begin with and they for sure are more qualified to handle it better than we ever were. You are simply walking away from this game that will never end Bcuz someone who did you wrong never will want to admit they did you wrong. It’s not our job to pick up the ball and take it upon ourselves to serve their ball. That is only doing too much work for someone else that they should be working to do themselves. It was quite a relief for me to comprehend that there was nothing left for me to do but move on with my own life.
It was funny to me really. Forgiveness is simply letting go of control over something that we never had control over in the first place. It is merely accepting reality and truth and that helps you move on to better things in your life. We simply cannot “make” anyone do right/repent and we cannot “make “ justice happen. Neither can we undo or glaze over what cannot be undone or justify their actions. We just have to accept those facts Bcuz it’s what is true. They did wrong. They won’t repent. And there is nothing we can really do to change those facts. It does sound counterintuitive and seems ironic but simply accepting these facts really does give us our own power back and breaks the chains that once bound us to that toxic person. We can for sure then walk lighter as we are no longer dragging their dead weight around with us anymore. And another aspect of it also is that yes. They’re not any less of an A-hole just Bcuz we forgive them. We do it for ourselves, not for them.
Hah. I just realized that the short version would be don’t sacrifice your own self respect on the altar of pseudo “forgiveness.” Altruism truly can be overdone and misplaced and become more like some lopsided one legged race for the over giver where nobody benefits. I’m a fan of deliberate forgiveness when someone is ready. But I am against “pressure to forgive” from others. And I’m not that altruistic really. I only did it in relation to my former egregious abusers when it both benefited me and when it made sense to me. Not a second sooner. (And a lot of times there really IS a lot of confusion around how I was wronged, if I was wronged etc. Who did me wrong. Those things had to get a thorough work over before I was in any position to forgive or Aka “let go.”). It should just one day organically become more about our life and healing and naturally evolve into them becoming more and more irrelevant to our lives. We can’t make these abusers do anything but other people (often hyper ignorant about such things) don’t have the right to “make” us do anything either. Without proper acknowledgment and validation of our experience FIRST, nothing is accomplished, just as nobody is going anywhere when the cart goes before the horses.
Sir, r videos gives positive energy. Hats off to u 👍👍👍
Spot on, Joshua. Mic 🎤 drop!
All of these are so true! Thank you!
One of the best videos you've ever made!
Thanks joshua :-)
Thank you
this is such a beautiful and helpful video. thank you, joshua.
Wonderful & wise video; thank you! ❤
Thank you for your message kind sir 😊
Excellent video !! Thank you !!
Thank you! I needed every one of these.
Thank you Joshua, I love your channel.