"give urself a english name like Kate Middleton, like I cannot imagine a royal stuffing their faces" BABE, LADY DIANA WAS LITERALLY BULIMIC FOR YEARS 💀
Cathrine has been speculated about for YEARS that she has an ED, I remember all the headlines from around the wedding absolutely ripping her to shreds about her weight
@@seva9994 Fridge logic: maybe that's why she's been so open about her cancer dx and treatment. Because she does NOT need the red-tops speculating about her weight now.
The moment I understood people don't care about your health is when people would compliment my aunt by saying how much weight she has lost and what's her secret and she would answer 'I have cancer'. She looked terrible, all life was drained from her eyes and they would only see her weight. She humbled them really quickly though.
When I was at my sickest I would be showered in compliments by how thin I was and I looked like a model, once a healthy weight again not anymore. This world is scary, I pray your aunt has recovered or will and heals.
@@Wishfull171 I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're okay now. 🩷 My aunt has been cancer-free for a decade and enjoying her one-boob life (her words) and her retirement.
Omg my hair was thinning from malnutrition and id get compliments and they’d say did you do something different with your hair? No, I’m skinnier and my hair is thinning. I’ve gained and lost weight many times, and watching the way people treat me differently when I’m thinner really fucked with my head.
One day when my mum was under going her cancer treatment I was speaking to my boss and mentioned my mum had lost weight due to her chemo. My boss said that it was good and everyone could lose a bit of weight. I just starred at her and had no words.
I had cancer in my 20's and first I gained about 20-30lbs and then started rapidly losing weight. Same thing. Everyone wanted to know the secret. Random people and even family who KNEW I was sick would compliment me, tell me I was glowing. No I was not glowing, those are all the medications and surgeries.
I went from obese to underweight in the space of two years & when I got admitted to hospital for malnutrition, the nurses weighing me were obsessed with how “skinny” I was. When explaining how the weight loss happened, they said they wished that happened to them so they could lose weight that quickly too. I was sat in a wheelchair, too weak to stand, hadn’t had a period for 4 months, lost half a head of hair and was struggling to breathe, and all these people cared about was how skinny I was. Really brought it home how screwed society is when it comes to weight and bodies.
I feel terrible for any woman who wants to become a nurse, because unfortunately a lifetime of horrific experiences with them (and the women who became them later in life) have given me a terribly biased impression that most of them are too stupid and/or selfish to maintain empathy on the clock. that's all it is
Oh my god the "I wish that happened to me" after explaining the horrible and traumatic way you lost weight is sooo real. I lost a lot of weight during the pandemic because being stuck indoors put me in a vicious cycle of panic attacks, no sleep, and being too dizzy and nauseous to eat, which in turn made the symptoms worse. It feels so deeply disrespectful when people express envy for that just because I lost weight. Oh you wish you'd suffered through all of that just to be skinny? Take it! Take all of it! I for one would've loved not to spend half of 2021 feeling like I was literally wasting away!
@@actuallyrubyleaf everything you just described was what happened to me, lost most of 2020/2021 due to being unwell and losing too much weight! I hope you’re in a better place now, you deserve to be happy and healthy x
@@spookyjones6577therapy doesn’t really help, you’d just be sent to the psychiatric hospital. therapy is absolutely a waste of time, and it is completely all just bullshit, and full of delusions. therapy absolutely sucks, and i’m forced too go there, and let me tell you that therapists don’t give a darn about you, they’d force you too take some type of medicine too help you “relax”, and the medication didn’t work. therapy is a complete scam, and a waste of money, and my gosh darn time.
It’s relatable unfortunately. Idk how many times even as a young young girl that I’ve hit my stomach or told myself I deserve to starve. It just creeps up on you.
exactly like?? Having well developed muscles is extremely important for you. It takes so long to build them back up after losing some due to being injured or sick. So sad how aesthetics completely trump health for her
imagining a young soccer girl feeling like she's not good enough because her body doesn't cater to the male gaze and instead is built to excel in a sport. Heartbreaking, sending hugs to all teen girlies. Priorities please.
this makes me think of the WNBA players, specifically chennedy carter. people dont even care how talented you are, being ugly is the ultimate sin of this generation
Ummm men don’t like skinny tho? Have you met a straight man? They like big ass, big thighs, big boobs, slim thick, thicker the better. No man in my life has ever said he likes skinny, idk a single man that does.
i deleted tiktok years ago bc it was so bad for my mental health (unrelated reasons) but seeing this type of resurgence of 2014 tumblr-esque ed culture is so disheartening. a quote that has stuck with me personally throughout my own recovery journey says something along the lines of "you never hear someone tell you, 'you're gonna love my friend they're so skinny!' you hear people say 'you're gonna love my friend they're so kind. they're so funny. they're so thoughtful.'"
I was on the peak of my Ed right when it was trending on tumblr. And I cannot stress this enough but the rethoric is so important. You are valuable regardless of your weight.
I like "Body Neutrality" as a sibling concept of "Body positivity". The latter never worked for me, I have dismorphia, I can't stand to look at my face, I never found myself beautiful. And when people tell me "but you are pretty" nothing will convince me they are not lying to my face out of pity. Body Neutrality means my worth is not determined by the way I look, I love myself for different reasons, I love my body for giving me the means to live and to go places and experience good things. But I don't pay a lot of thought to what it looks like. I'm allowed to be "ugly". It doesn't matter. Very good video, thank you. ❤
Bodies are bodies, they’re not decoration or ornamental, they’re supposed to function. It’s not anything more than that. It prob sounds pessimistic to some but I find it empowering, I need my body and I need it to work well.
As a disabled person body neutrality fits me way better then body positivity! Don’t tell me my body is beautiful, it gives me pain every day. But it’s allowed to be there and I have to take care of it.
My mother is 76. She's had bulimia since she was 14. She's had an eating disorder for 62 years. She's lost most of her teeth, she has a million health problems, and she's ruined her relationship with every person in her family. For my entire life I have been able to see every bone on her body, and it never made her happy. She binged whilst pregnant with both my sister and myself, and after my sister was born she had to be hospitalized for months because she nearly died. She will never get better, her ED will kill her and there's nothing anyone can do about it. 62 years lost to an eating disorder. Unimaginable.
This actually made me so so sad. I have bulimia. I’m 23 and I’ve had it since I was 12. My relationship with my family is so strained. I feel so guilty for everything g I’ve put them through. I’m trying to get better but I feel stuck. I’ve been in treatment before but it didn’t help except store me to healthier weight but the habit is still there and even more difficult because I’m not comfortable in my body. This comment was really eye opening. Thank you
@@ffiontill5924i had bulimia and i’ve recovered 😊 you can do it ❤ feeling comfortable in your body won’t happen first. You have to begin recovery first, and then over time you’ll not only feel more comfortable and less dysmorphic in your body, but you just won’t care about it as much anymore. Other parts of your life will be allowed to take over the space where your eating disorder was, the space where they were supposed to be the whole time that your eating disorder was pushing them to the margins. I went to outpatient care every day for several months, and then to a nutritionist when i had a relapse. My best recommendation is not to put off treatment/recovery until you feel comfortable in your body. If you need to, you can let your eating disorder believe that you’re just trying to learn the tools you’ll need for later when you’ve gotten to your weight goal. I told myself that before I went to outpatient. I told myself that I’d go and I would listen, but I would just save all the information for later after I finally reached a weight that made me feel comfortable and that I was willing to maintain. And honestly, if I hadn’t told myself that, I don’t know if I would have gone in the first place. But then you have to stick to the therapy and keep going. Say what you need to in the beginning to get the ED and body dysmorphia to shut the hell up. But then actually give the therapy a chance. Try the eating recommendations out. Try to stick to it as best as you can. Give it the old college try. Even if in the beginning you have to tell your ED that it’s just practice for later when you’re actually ready. Because beginning recovery is what will make you ready to recover. It was therapy/treatment that permitted me to gradually let go of the bodily discomfort and the weight goal. And you’ll only truly feel ready when you let those goals go, not whenever you somehow meet them. The body dysmorphia/ED is still something I have to be vigilant about. i don’t have a scale and i ask doctors not to tell me my weight during checkups. I avoid certain types of content, or at least try to be aware of when certain content is having a negative impact on my body image and then i switch to something else. When I’m feeling insecure I try to avoid looking at my body in the mirror, because I know i still can’t trust my own eyes when it comes to my body. But i do not have bulimia anymore. I can’t even describe how much better it is to not have to worry about restricting and bingeing and purging. I have more friends than I did when I was in ED. I have a loving boyfriend. I don’t feel hopeless and disgusted with myself anymore. I feel much more capable of dealing with the other issues in my life that actually matter, unlike my weight, which doesn’t actually matter.
I was just telling my bf that I've noticed an uptick of fitness accounts I follow getting super into running this summer and that I'm very worried about what direction that's heading.
Omg the moment you said Tumblr the memories came flooding back in. Those posts were very painful and it was terrifying how they try their best to make us feel ashamed for being over 45 kilograms and promote starvation.
@@krisuler7734 it wasn't just a random person here and there not wanting to be fat. Mountains of content about ed, people screaming at you from every direction, thinspo... I have an ed as well and at that time I was the sickest I've ever been. It was like a war to me tbh...
As someone who’s had a restrictive ED for years that comes and goes, a fair portion of these people absolutely know what they are doing. They are aware to some degree that they are being mean and putting out very competitive content, but the validation they receive from it outways everything else. Ana-brain takes over and they stop caring about anything but being skinny. Whenever my ED symptoms get bad I start body checking and posting it online with zero fucks given. realizing that’s what was happening took years
Very very real phenomenon. When you tell yourself being skinny is the most important thing in the world, it becomes it. When people value thinness over anything else they will stop at nothing to show it off if they’ve got it. Even if that’s in toxic, harmful, glamorizing ways. When you have an ED for a long time it rots you. Speaking from experience, no judgement
Exactly!! And the unfortunate truth is that the kids who listen to them will internalize that mindset and turn it against others to lift themselves (and their illness) up. I know because I did. My best friend did. My ex-girlfriend did. Aggressively comparing yourself like this never works.
It becomes an obsession..even if you look horrible, older and unattractive you don't care cause the obsession takes over and it is no longer about being skinny but the obsession
The same thing happens on Hannah Alonzo's anti-MLM videos. Sometimes she'll get ads for certain MLMs running on her videos. Her thoughts towards it though is that her audience is the perfect one to send those kinds of ads to because they know enough to not fall for it and buy into the program. I think the same thing applies here, fortunately
I appreciate you covering it because no one is benefitted by brushing this under the rug. I have a hard time empathizing with ED content because I know they’re sick but sometimes the things they say are so, so mean that it really bugs me. I hope that by shining enough of a spotlight on this that more people realize that being mean to yourself and others is functionally useless. I’m a bastion of body neutrality and I love getting stronger! I wish that kind of happiness for everyone
Absolutely agree ❤️ it's a tangled mess because while I have empathy for what these creators are going through, they are doing so much harm and profiting monetarily off of it. It's a conundrum. That's why critique is so important.
As someone with an ED i agree with you. A lot of the ed content meant to trigger people is borderline offensive and needlessly cruel. It‘s not a good thing and being a bad person cannot be excused by „i‘m ill“ cause there‘s still agency when you treat fat ppl or ppl that don‘t look skinny like sh*t. „My illness made me do it“ is not an excuse and I fully support your comment here.
I lost all sympathy to people with EDs that make twitter or tiktok posts. My family struggles with ED and I'm helping them through recovery and it taught me a lot, 99% of the content there is meant to trigger and sabotage others and they'll sit behind the "IMMM COOOOPING" shield a lot.
I have an eating disorder and an account dedicated to it on twitter. Never have I ever posted anything pro ana or glorifying my ed. Having an ed doesn't make you inherently a disgusting person online. I have fortunately met and followed A LOT of lovely accounts of people just coping and supporting each other but it's very valid to critique the majority being completely evil
I am 13 years old and 120 lbs, medically i am not overweight but i have seen enough tiktokers saying that being 100lbs is too much. I havent eaten since 2 days now and this video made me go eat a meal, thank you
Oh god you poor thing, that's horrifying. You are a child, your only jobs are to go to school and try and be healthy, you have no obligation to try and reach these insane beauty standards.
i was in the same place as you at your age but i was probably bigger. i’ve been overweight throughout my life and i’ve struggled with disordered eating on and off since my teens. if your body is bigger at your age, it’s probably meant to be that way! you’re growing and your body needs nutrients to do that. in high school my disordered eating was at its worst and i did lose 60 pounds but at the cost of my mental wellbeing. my weight was my obsession and even at my lowest weight i was never “skinny”, that’s just not in the cards for me with my body and genetics. over time i’ve learned that it’s okay and that doesn’t make me unattractive or less valuable at all! now when i go through a “gym phase” i focus on building strength and targeting muscle groups i feel could be stronger. i hope you keep yourself and your mindset safe, there’s so much life you have to experience that will teach you so much
This feels like I’m looking at my 13 year old self. There’s nothing wrong with you babe. You deserve to eat, don’t let these sad TikTok girls make you feel any differently about that. ❤
Listen I’m overweight (due to a multitude of health reasons) and I don’t eat that much but I don’t restrict myself when it comes to eating. My ancestors did not die due to famine for me to starve myself
Yeah- watching mothers consider cutting off body parts to feed to their starving kids in Gaza... seeing the corpses of starved kids with such pain in their faces. Food is amazing. Your first & most important job is to make sure that you are comfortable & nurtured.
Same. I'm considered overweight, but I'm vegan and audhd, so I don't eat much. And people get shocked because of that. I'm like well good morning, that doesn't correlate with each other
"age is a privilege denied to many" It hits me so hard, as someone battling everyday against a hardcore depression and chronic fatigue, having to take so many pills to at least stay alive, I took so much weigh with medications and got from skinny to almost a 100kg for 175cm, I developed dysphmorphia and cried because I got stretch marks, But now what I see is a body with perfect blood work, beautiful curves and stretch marks that tells other "look I'm still alive" And when I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm a disgusting girl, I try to be kinder and tell myself that my weight does not equal my worth as a human being We all are beautiful in our own ways
I liked to call my stretch marks my tiger stripes and it makes me feel strong and powerful like a tiger. Because I don’t know who decided stretch marks were the worst thing ever but they really aren’t and are just there so I’m gonna think positively about it!
The fact that Liv's soccer career ended after a foot fracture is actually horrifying when you understand what malnutrition does to bone density and how much AN increases the risk specifically of foot fractures. If she had been less worried about her "thunder thighs" and had been eating enough, it's possible the injury wouldn't have ever happened.
Bro I have an eating disorder and the second girl made me so mad I actually thought logically for once and went like "GIRL YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY keep starving yourself I guess I'm gonna enjoy my life being me" and then had a meal. Damn this is HELPING ME
EDs exist in SO many forms as well, I did a lot of binge-eating when I was younger due to being bullied for being “like a twig.” I know men who do INSANE restrictive eating in order to get “shredded.” Disordered eating is not ONLY about wanting to be thin. I’ve since taken the advice of “eat until you are satisfied” and that has significantly helped me. It’s wild to me to see the trends of EDs showing up so casually.
There was an INSANE amount of body dysmorphia in the Army. I would be talking to the hottest dude I'd ever seen in my life and he would talk about how fat he was, how he hated how he looked, how he needed to go to the gym more. It was bizarre and heartbreaking, especially because it was also actively pushed by the Army.
There's one video where there's a bunch of powerlifters talking about their peak, one guy talked about how he'd stuffed himself til he vomited in the sink, and all he could think about was how he was going to replace those calories, and everyone was like "Yeah, know that feeling" and laughing about it. But it's only unhealthy if you're fat, apparently.
It's so messed up how normalized it is especially in schools to say things like, "You need a sandwich". There was a boy in my health class in high school that was ruthlessly bullied by the teacher with comments about how thin he was. When you're a kid, the jokes are funny but later on when you realize the damage that it probably caused for him, you wonder why a TEACHER would feel the need to make all these jokes at the expense of a literal child
I will just put this here: the skinniest I ever was I was the sickest I had ever been, not eating because my esophagus was swollen shut, lost 25 pounds in 2 months (NOT GOOD) and got the MOST compliments I ever had. which made me feel worse because I knew I felt like I was dying… I got into my current relationship, gained weight from just being happy, comfortable, going out to eat together and being happily in love, and got the most comments on how i’ve gained weight and need to start trying to work out, I get my wisdom tooth out and i’m in such severe pain I couldn’t eat for days and lost 15 pounds and once again here come the compliments from my *nurse* coworkers and how I ‘lost the weight so fast’ when I felt like I could pass away from pain… I work in HEALTHCARE… the stigma on skinny equating healthy is a dangerous dangerous game …
People should just stop commenting on others' weight, unless they've been specifically told that the other person is intentionally losing or gaining weights. I remember seeing a video of a woman (I think she is a celeb and she isn't plus size) saying "she don't wanna be skinny because she always sees people get skinny and then die" (and I'm paraphrasing here). And it makes me realise how a lot of people know to equate constant gaining of weights and morbid obesity with death but they don't wanna connect rapidly losing weights, getting skinnier and skinner with death as well.
When I got severely sick early this year I had a nurse start commenting on how much weight I’d lost and how he wished he could do that. I was so appalled that he could say that stuff without thinking it could hurt me. He didn’t know it was because I was sick. I lost ~10 lbs in a week and almost had to go to the ER because I couldn’t even keep water down. And all people could focus on was my weight? Needless to say I’m still working on fixing my ED r3lapse afterwards. Nurses especially need to watch what they say.
@@saltydinonuggies1841 I hate that you had to experience that 💔, and I wish for the best for you🤞I made sure every person that asked me how I lost weight I told them straight ‘I was unhealthy and in pain.. you do not want to lose it the way I did and I will probably gain it back once my diet resumes to normal’ and leave it at that, hopefully we will reach a point in society where our size and shape is no longer a topic of conversation people feel like they have to share
That's so sad, when someone I know loses weight noticeably fast I grow extremely concerned and wonder if they are okay (physically or mentally) and usually (if I am close enough with them) I'll check in on them. Quick weight loss is always an alert symbol to me to make sure someone is okay, I could never equate it to something positive.
"gained weight from just being happy, comfortable, going out to eat together and being happily in love" -- you know who was the only person in my life who criticised me for that? *my toxic bf*. The one I was in love with.
This stuff used to be quarantined strictly within obscure forums and pages since the late 90s, where they were hard to find and usually had several barriers to access. Online discussion of eating disorders was taken a little more seriously by the people having them. Social media is so poorly moderated that anybody with an internet connection can run wild posting deranged and cruel things to public platforms, that even the existing forums dont allow. I hate it here
This! I was introduced to ED culture via public messaging boards, tumblr, pinterest, public forums, heck even just google images only a search away... years of suffering and struggle caused by falling down a rabbit hole as a pre teen. Id say online ED culture was at its most prevalent and public around 2016, people actively gave eachother tips on how to be ill better which seems to be a no no in a lot of "pro ED" spaces now, and there definetly werent as many people against it then or at least aware of it. Im so grateful for this recent wave of anti ED promotion content, because back when i was deep in it there werent well thought out commentaries, just passing jabs from random creators that kind of fueled things.
Thank for this. Growing up in the 90s and having an almond mom has forever affected how i see my body despite all the therapy . We dont need anything else in media encouraging EDs, life's hard enough lol.
I'm not gonna justify the way this influencers promote eds, but I am gonna comment on something. "Is your biggest fear really being fat?" Is kinda diminishing the actual fear around eds. I have anorexia and it sucks. Right now, I'm in between recovery and relapsing, and being fat is not my biggest fear. I was sa'ed when I was younger and I was severely bullied as a kid, so my fear is becoming a target, my fear is not being able to control how other people perceive me and therefore be in danger again. I'm agreeing with pretty much everything that you said, but in my experience, eating disorders and the fear around them grow out of trauma, not at the idea of being fat. Anyways, it's a horrible, painful illness, and I don't wish it on anyone.
Unfortunately, when you start with “ I'm not gonna justify the way this influencers promote eds, but…” it generally means you’re about to do exactly that. No one is diminishing your personal experience but you need to recognize that it is anecdotal and not all that suffer with anorexia (or any other ed) will have the same experience. This was a direct quote being critiqued and did not have anything to do with your experience. If there is something said that does not apply to you, don’t take it personal. It is rather inane that someone's BIGGEST fear is to become “fat”... not death of a loved one or a child, not losing one or more of their 5 senses, not having an untreatable terminal illness or being tortured to death (to name a few things) but being… fat. Really?! I’m sorry you were bullied growing up. Unfortunately, you will never be able to control how other people perceive you and you’ve gotta make peace with that. People see you as they are and not as you are. Not everyone is going to like you either. If you work towards being a kind and good person from the inside out, always focusing on your own personal growth, it won’t matter how anyone else perceives you because you’ll love yourself. If you are worried about physical safety, train in martial arts. It worked for me.
@@musiclove7375 You're fundamentally misunderstanding a root cause of many eating disorders, which the original commenter explained very eloquently in their comment - it's the need for control and a fear of lack of control which can arise out of traumatic life experiences, such as sexual assault (as mentioned in the original comment). It's not always a "fear of being fat". It's a mental illness and the causes can be much deeper. Your response comes across as a bit invalidating. I would recommend watching Louis Theroux's documentary 'Talking to Anorexia' if you want to learn more about the complexity of this disease.
Representation matters so much!! It was hard growing up as a young Black girl in the 2000s. As much as I detest the BBL craze that happened, it led to more companies creating clothes for curvy body types. I thought we were headed in the right direction with body positivity, but I guess thin is always in 😢
It definitely comes in aggressive waves and trends. I have no doubt that curvy will be "in" again in a few years. Unfortunately the things that get pushed in media are what is seen as the most exclusive and what companies can make the most money on at the time 😭😭😭
@@happypancake234 They have to keep selling you different cuts of pants. And change the rise. "Uh-oh, muffin top". "Uh-oh, hip dip". Uh-oh, no thigh gap"..
Thin was in even with BBLs being a trend. You needed to have a big butt and big boobs, BUT you also need to have a thin waist and flat stomach. You need to be SNATCHED and not have a single roll on your body.
Trigger warning: I have been having trouble with disordered eating and being underweight for years and was always given a hard time by my family because apparently being told I looked like a "vulture" would help somehow... I have been healing, currently in the gym and being followed by a dietitian to gain muscle and get healing, doing therapy and taking depression medication. In the meanwhile, I had to go home because my grandma died and I kid you not, in the church, right in front of the open casket people were asking me "What happened to you, you gained weight" and it came to the point where a disgusting uncle I haven't talked to for decades PUT HIS HAND ON MY BELLY and said I had to lose weight... Wtf is wrong with people? I used to think this sort of thing only happened in social media but I guess people are this dense in real life too
I feel you so hard. I'm finally somewhat stable with my weight and I enjoy food and I can finally climb up stairs without blacking out - but every time I'm home the first thing anyone comments on is my stomach and how I need to fix it. NO I will NOT. I love it, fuck all of em
Protip: hands on you without your consent, even too lightly to injure, is technically assault. That means that if you punch him, "he started it" actually is a slight legal mitigation if he calls the police.
I'm so glad Neil Newbon explained about the dehydration for photoshoots because he's absolutely right. Even the models don't actually look like that all the time. It's not even realistic for them. They manage it for a few hours on one day, after WEEKS of disrupting their daily life through restriction and exercise and then literally depriving themselves of water for a day. And also stuffing themselves with carbs RIGHT before the photoshoot to try and make their muscles look as bulky as possible. Nobody, not even them, can look like that all the time because nobody can live like that all the time.
As a skinny person I can confidently say skinny DOES NOT equal healthy. I have extremely high metabolism which causes constant headaches and low blood sugar unless I constantly eat. I have adults telling me I have the perfect body but I don't. For anyone who needs to hear this, eating and nutrition is important, don't limit your intake. Do not compare yourself to conventionally sized people because we are not the epidemy of health. Take care of yourselves ❤
Absolutely. I always had to explain to teachers that yes, I really did need to eat that snack right in the middle of class because my blood sugar had dropped low enough that I was getting shaky. No other issues, just a high metabolism and a child sized stomach. It doesn’t happen as often as I’ve grown up (as long as I eat regularly), but I almost always carry a snack in my bag since I don’t want to be caught off guard.
Thank you! Yeah man, the thinnest people I know have true health issues that make them that way. And I’d argue you’re not conventional size, society pretends it’s conventional. (I assume, not sure if you’re actually that thin. But you know ow what I mean. 😊)
Yeah, my friend is way below normal weight for his height and he has constant joint pain (mostly unrelated, however I do notice the leg he needs constant surgery on is the thinner one). He's always cold, he can't have that much sugar or caffeine or he gets too shaky, but he still needs enough sugar to not faint so it's always a balancing act. I'm in a normal weight range but I'm still on the thinner end. I want to donate blood more especially because my blood type is valuable, but I can't do so easily because I'll always faint and vomit.
I work as a furniture loader in a warehouse. My job is hot, physical, and exhausting. I'm the only women who is a loader and I keep up with the men. Almost my skinniest at 173 right now. Not only is it impressive to have a lot of muscle, it takes more work then being skinny. Its so aggravating to see women degrading others for not having "skinny legs" when it took more effort to get these muscles. Nothing to be insecure about being capable.
Remember, promoting ED behaviors is reportable on TikTok. I wish these platforms would take some responsibility for the content it allows and the very real consequences of them
it’s such a bad cycle to fall into you can see it in every generation of women. my mom is in her 50s and still on an extremely strict diet/workout routine. my grandma is in her 70s and still restricts/diets, even taking medicine that suppresses her appetite. and they’re telling me about it like they’re doing something healthy, and i just don’t know how to react i have ARFID and i’ll be the first one to say, being skinny has NOTHING to do with being healthy. i’m not healthy at all but they’ll comment how good i look or that i must be so healthy when i’m home :,) much love to anyone out there who doesn’t feel comfortable in their skin. that’s a horrible feeling, no matter how “normal” it is
I absolutely relate to this. My mom was all about paleo and CrossFit when I was a kid. Now she’s into carnivore and Pilates. Other family (especially women) members have been dieting in some fashion or another my entire life. I used to be super skinny when I was a teen and got so many compliments on that but also had people ask me if I was anorexic point blank even though I wasn’t. I’ve gained a ton of weight in recent years and I’m trying not to hate my body for it. I also struggle with being healthy because I’m fairly certain I also have ARFID and struggle with eating most foods that are healthy for one reason or another. So I used to just not eat sometimes. Or I’d get too overwhelmed by the idea of finding something I could eat that I’d just skip meals. But I try really hard not to do that to myself anymore, which results in me eating whatever I want most days (on the days that I have any appetite at all and if not then I eat whatever is least repulsive). Fed is best is what I’ve been trying to tell myself. It helps that I have a wonderful partner who helps make sure I eat now.
@@Mazygolucky i feel you! there are days where i feel like all i can stomach is super basic carbs like pasta or bread. i tell myself the same “all calories are good calories” but i def am lacking protein and other important things in my diet. drinking calories helps if you like smoothies, you can sneak important stuff in. or there are things like savory protein bars now which is great bc i really don’t want something sweet in the morning. it does suck that something so simple becomes so draining/all consuming. but we’re doing what we can and i’m proud of us for that ❤️
I had a family reunion this summer and my grandmother has always been weird about food. My mother and aunt had to grow up with that and never pushed it on myself, my siblings or my cousins. And yet… my cousins laughed about my grandmother hinting to them (all adults, mind you) that maybe they shouldn’t have FRUIT as snacks between meals. It never ends.
This video was so helpful to me! I’m nearing 60 and have several autoimmune issues. As a younger woman I was tiny…because I was SICK. I’m healthier now. I’m also 20 lbs heavier. I’m slightly overweight according to BMI which my doctor has told me is fine. And yet I sometimes cry when I look in the mirror. Gone is the concave belly. Because now I can eat without vomiting. Gone are the perky boobs, because I birthed and nursed a miracle child I never thought I would have. Gone is the thigh gap, because I love riding my bike, doing squats and hiking. I struggle to remind myself, however, that it is okay that I don’t look 25. You may never see this as I see I’m a bit late to this party, but if you do…THANK YOU!
people dont say enough about the longterm consequences like having half of your hair fall out or needing new teeth because your body eats at everything to upkeep the energy
Yes girl I just enjoyed some pasta and a soda. I was never like these women but had Ana and Bulimic at one time. I will never be that cruel to myself again. And I won't let someone who can't even love the lips they were born with tell me I need to starve like them.
Best thing my therapist ever told me while I was in recovery: "If these quick diets actually worked, long term, there would BE no diet culture. There would BE no industry making billions off of human bodies. If it worked, we would all be following ONE diet and all look the same. They aren't what you think they are."
I don't know what happened in my brain since I've turned 35. But i honestly do not care about being seen as beautiful. It's such a circular and bottomless pit of self depreciation. Being beautiful is ever changing, and someone will always find you ugly. I don't care about being beautiful, i wanna be feared. I wanna be so strong, that when people see me lifting all the grocery bags in one hand, or lifting a 44lb bag of dog food with one hand, they secretly are in awe. Working out to be seen as sexy, or thin is such a bore, like squats for a big ass.....ground breaking. I have always been very physically strong, and i no longer am confining my growth to aesthetics, or beauty standards, the small box of "sexy strong". If you know what i mean..Trying to be sexy and beautiful is too exhausting, it's also just a waste of my time, I'm too busy buying yarn, working in my garden, racing my kids at the park. I refuse to participate in the never ending dance of beautification. I look forward to being an old hag.
I'm 40 and feel the same. I want to be strong enough to take care of myself. Seeing my mom lose her mobility and independence, did it for me. Fuck being beautiful-I want to be free.
@@EmotionalSupportPeetz I watched my grandmother deteriorate in her elderly years. She used to be a beautician, she owned her own school in mexico. She went bald, her spine hunched over. She broke her hips on separate occasions. She never worked out, she believed it made you look like a man, strength training would have helped strength her bones, her spine so she wasn't as vulnerable in her older age. It really does motivate me to try my best to take care of myself, for me and my health. The beauty standards are ever changing, and never has it ever been to the benefit of woman. Especially to our health.
I sadly had to tap out because the clips were bringing up unhealthy old ED thoughts, but I seriously appreciate that you plarformed this issue, thankyou so much for speaking up about this. No more generations of young people's energy being wasted on the pursuit of thinness, training us to justify being dehumanising bullies just because the target is ourselves.
I do have to say as someone who struggles with the opposite problem bordering on binge eating, I physically can't trust my body. My body won't tell me I'm full. It's taken so long for me to find a balance, but with people who deal with binge eating portions can be a good tool when used well.
Absolutely! From the reading I've done, intuitive eating has to be slowly introduced to people who have binge eating disorders. Again, I'm not a professional, but from what I understand, this is moreso directed at people who have misconceptions about nutrition or have some form of "ana" or are bordering on ana.
I have ADHD & I have recovered from Bulimia/Anorexia. I do have to keep an eye on food & water. Listening to my body alone doesn't work, because she fails to pay much attention a lot of the time. Definitely force myself to drink water- but not in a disordered way- just we need water & my body forgets.
I have ADHD & I have recovered from Bulimia/Anorexia. I do have to keep an eye on food & water. Listening to my body alone doesn't work, because she fails to pay much attention a lot of the time. Definitely force myself to drink water- but not in a disordered way- just we need water & my body forgets.
Yeah, I have to do portion control due to binge eating, too. The hormones that tell me that I'm hungry or full are messed up in my body from other illnesses.
There's so much ableism wrapped up in fatphobia as well, this presumption that if you exist in a bigger body you are unhealthy & thus inherently worth less as a person. I used to be shredded prior to a knee injury, I ended up with chronic pain that turned into early onset arthritis & it made it impossible for me to keep up my old workout routine, so of course I gained weight & am now plus sized. The amount of abuse I got from friends & family for this despite them knowing this was because of my disability is crazy. So much of fatphobia is just another aspect of how our society hates disabled ppl
Not only that very weird fat=unhealthy=worthless pipeline, as if they have anything to do with each other. But also the so unnerving hypocritical and fake "it's just a fact that being overweight is bad for your health, not to be disrespectful, just trying not to spread harmful rethoric that being fat is okay". Like b***h you don't care about my health or anybody else's health, you're just using virtue signaling to excuse your fatphobia! If you were actually concerned about my health you would fight for more investments being directed towards accurate research for cronic diseases, like mine. Even if I stop being overweight, I'll still be unhealthy, but would you still complain that I'm unhealthy???
As far as I’m concerned this type of content is the equivalent of making videos for children talking about how cool smoking cigarettes is. They are teaching kids to hate their bodies and setting them up for chronic mental and physical illness. It’s disgusting.
I’m a construction worker now and my strength and health is literally of utmost importance now. I used to have an eating disorder and now when I think I miss how I looked, I honestly just think about how weak and useless I was compared to now. I might not be as thin but I’m actually strong and productive now. And if I think about it with any kind of logic, the trade is not worth it.
when can people realize that true wellness and health is in cultivating a nurturing relationship to our body including taking care of it, moving it, and challenging it? All these people end up doing is developing smaller bodies and horrid amounts of self-loathing and shame
I grew up doing ballet and I was lucky to have a beautiful relationship with it... I didn't use the same words at the time but I was completely focused on having a "useful" body. I was laser focused on what my body could do and how to improve my ability to do what I loved (dance) every day. I became disabled in my early twenties and that's when my relationship with my body tanked. Because I couldn't do what I wanted, the only value I could find in my body was aesthetic. I'm in my early thirties now trying to recover from an eating disorder. I wish I had the ability to do some casual ballet classes like you described yourself doing, I want to rebuild that positive relationship I used to have with myself, but instead I have to find new ways. It's so hard. It's so miserable. The irony and the lie of EDs is control. You can never be in total control of your body, and when you try to seize control so completely, you lose it to your disorder.
I'm so sorry that happened to you ❤️ from a fellow ballerina I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Thank you for sharing your story with me and good luck!
I’ll just let everyone know that thinness isn’t just pushed onto girls when they’re young. It’s the same at every age, but women as they age are also told they must stay a perpetual child in looks too. So older women must also stay thin, but not age.
I used to have problems eating, being incredibly broke didn't help, but it was after my daughter that I realized that talking negatively about myself would hurt her. Haven't gotten to the "love my body" stage, but I'm neutral about it.
@@happypancake234 Honestly what's changing my mind about my body is the guy I like. I remember him looking at me in the car and when I stopped talking he said "I'm paying attention. You've just got a killer body." LIKE SIR!?
Every woman I know (including myself) looks back at the past when we *thought* we were fat like, damn, I wish I was that size now! Every generation has a generation before them trying to pass on that knowledge. You’re not fat, you’re fine, you’re healthy, you look beautiful, you’ll look back in 10 years and realise. But we can never believe it. Because every single generation is being told by the media or society or social media that you are fat. You’re not skinny enough, you’re not fit enough, etc. And I fear that cycle will never change. For me, I was a chubby kid objectively speaking. But I also developed way faster than the other girls around me. So by the time my body had changed into a more womanly figure (at the ripe old age of 10-12) I still saw myself as the chubby kid that got bullied. And then developed BED. So now I am larger and look back and think ‘I wish I was that size again.’ It’s so sad.
So true. I’ve been all kinds of weight from my teen years to my late 30s, from 102 to 163ish pounds (sorry, converting from kilos) and definitely had ED symptoms as a teen (never diagnosed cos being skinny was ok). I am objectively overweight now, but I can’t remember a single time I felt skinny enough.
I'm only in the first half of the video on oh sweet jesus christ. The way that fatphobia, and the rebranding of 'weightloss' culture into wellness culture is on the up swing is really deeping frustrating and as a fat woman it's so fucking demoralising. I'm glad that I'm in a place where I'm comfortable in my body but I'm in my mid 20's and not on tiktok or instra so I cannot imagine how pervasive this is for other people
I had a coworker that would constantly say how fat she was and what she ate in a day trying to lose weight. It was so constant to a point where I was questioning if I was fat and if I needed to lose weight too. Whether it's in real life or through the internet this behavior should not be normalized. Thank you for covering this topic.
I was a teen in the mid 00’s and was relatively skinny, however in puberty developed this random pooch that sticks out. I legitimately would starve myself to keep it as small as possible. Flat stomachs were THE sign of beauty and as I did not have one no matter how skinny I was I felt physically worthless (I had no stability & childhood traumas added to that view). Pushing body standards is such a dangerous game.
I've always had a potbelly and huge thighs, since childhood. I wasted my pinnacle of conventional physical beauty in my youth thinking I was fat when I wasn't, actually got fat, she'd that, and now my thighs are one of my favorite features.
I took a slightly perverse pleasure in watching this video while stuffing my mouth with a delicious bowl of Hong Kong chicken I made. I'm a heavier gal and I want to exercise more but I will never allow people like this to give me a bad relationship with food. Edit: as some people seem to be having issues with what I said here, allow me to clarify a few things! Firstly, the meal I made was not junk food, it was all homemade (including fresh veg and fruit!) with some chicken and noodles. A very balanced meal. Secondly, I am not "glorifying" overeating (because I wasn't) apparently some people aren't familiar with a bit of exaggeration for the sake of affect! And thirdly, if you read "heavier gal" and food in the same sentence and instantly come up with "fat cow binging on junk food" I think that's a you problem. Eating to fuel your body is not just about the bare minimum, it's about figuring out a balanced diet that you enjoy. I'm only 20 and still learning what to cook for myself that's healthy and tasty. People like those covered in this video would have you believe my being a little overweight is the worst possible thing I could experience. But that's something that will fluctuate all my life (especially if I have children!) so rather than concentrating on weight, I'm concentrating on health. And if that means carrying around a bit extra padding to ensure I get the vitamins, proteins, and general sustenance my body needs to look after itself, I do not give a single shit. The assumptions made by a few people in the comments below this astound me and, as chiefpurrfect nicely pointed out, it's not normal behaviour to go out of your way to insult someone online because of an assumption and preconceived idea you have of who they are. You're no better than the people Pancake is talking about in this video. Luckily, I've been on the internet long enough so that comments like that roll off my back but it worries me that younger women and girls aren't like that and get effected by these things, which is why I wrote this. To any and all young people out there who might be reading this: being a bit overweight is not the end of the world. It does not devalue you. Strive for health, not to be skinny.
As if eating extremely processed food full of chemicals is in any way empowering lol. What a lack of individual thinking... equally as sad as someone who starves.
Y'all are so rude and unsightly completely unprompted in the replies. Here's what I don't get- genuine question. Does hearing someone in a bigger body not psychologically hate themselves remind you of how much you hate yourself? Because clearly, your behavior isn't emotionally healthy and secure- otherwise you wouldn't be reacting with aggression to a person stating they're enjoying life in their body like you are responding to a threat. Happy people don't leave rude comments to total strangers on the internet because they have better things in their life than that. Do you have some kind of deep-seated belief that being slim is necessary to being happy with yourself and seeing a happy and secure fat person gives way to that lie by reminding you that you're still miserable even if you are slim? Is that why you feel the need to "humble" them for having the audacity to exist without apologizing for their body or performing self-loathing for the comfort of slim people? Is this what this is? 'Cause if so, depressing.
Oh my gosh the person who pointed out the struggle being 5’0” with diet culture is so freaking real 😭 it’s so frustrating to be short, unable to lose weight because my tdee is so much lower than someone who is 5’8”. There is no universe in which I can have a thigh gap 😭
I relate to this so hard. When I tried to restrict the supposed 1500-1600 cals I'm supposed to have as someone who's 160 cm, I ended up undereating so much and still only gained weight. I wish more short girls like Sabrina were popular, her and other short girl influences made me feel a lot safer and more seen in my body ❤
Trust me babe, idk about other tall girls but at 5’10, I feel so much more hungry. Like 1700 calories to a short girl to me feels like 1200 istg so dw babe it’s no easier whatsoever 😔🙌🏻
14:17 I’m short too-I’m only 5’3.5” (161.5 cm). I feel the same way. Maintaining my weight is so darn hard because I’m short. My maintenance is only around 1,400 calories per day-if I go over that amount, I gain weight. There’s no leeway for us shorties. For real, being short sucks. 😭
Yep, I used to be one of those girls with a "tumblr era ED blog" and even almost a decade into my recovery journey I'll ACTUALLY be real and say that I miss that community. But THEN I remember the self-hatred, the extreme pain and weakness, the complete and utter loss of my college years - which were consumed by my ED voice and numbers and constant exercise, the competition, EVERYTHING was so horrible even though I felt like I looked good (in reality I looked very sick, because I was). It was just Not Worth It!! I also really love the goal of having a useful body, thanks for introducing that concept to me in this vid!
Thank you so much for this video. The moralization of weight is quite literally killing us. Whether people are religious or not we still have this idea in society that fatness is divine retribution and needs to be punished. No wonder these young girls are TERRIFIED of becoming fat. They believe being fat makes you a bad person. They are taught that fat people do not deserve to enjoy themselves as a result of that. They're not allowed to enjoy their food or cooking or baking, not allowed to relax, not allowed to have a hobby that's not active, not allowed to think about anything other than getting thin as quickly as possible. Fat people are not allowed to be healthy. They're supposed to get skinny, no matter what. If it means no longer eating, exercising until agony and exhaustion and isolating themselves away from family and friends to "avoid temptation" then they should do that. Of course that idea makes people terrified of gaining weight. Especially because weight is seen as a black and white thing. You are skinny until you reach the threshold of fat, no inbetween. Crossing that societal threshold means being treated worse and being expected to hurt yourself. That threshold gets lower and lower with every thinspo influencer, every new diet fad, every fashion trend that requires thinness to look good. It hurts everyone. Of course they're scared. That doesn't mean they get to help make things worse, but I understand why. I don't want to go back to the heroin chic era. To the era where skinny celebrities were marketed as horribly, irreparably fat and the effects that had on all of us. As a society we barely even know what a fat body looks like, nevermind what it needs.
Any 90s kids remember being read a story in school about a little girl who wouldn't finish her dinner, so her mother kept giving her smaller and smaller portions that she refused to finish...I remember in the end she got like 2 grains of rice and 2 peas on a doll plate, and ate one of each...until she nearly starved to death...I think of it a lot when talking about early conditioning for ED as a child. Because I always felt it was told as aspirational in a way, like what self control the little girl must have! I have searched, but remember so little about the story. I don't remember if it was part of a nutritional program or from a collection of fables or what. Does anyone else remember that???
That sounds like something out of a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle book. They were written in the early 20th century as """guides""" for children to learn good behavior in the guise of whimsical childrens stories. Don't know if that's exactly it, but it sounds exactly like something one of those books would have.
I think it may have been one of several german authors and/or fairytale collections that are famously f“““ed up. They are written by wilhelm busch and I think I have heard this story too at sone point. At the very least there is a similar story about a boy who refuses to eat his soup and literally dies 😅
I remember the story was a small part of another bigger story, and the girl was taking as small of bites as she could and her parents were trying to get her to eat more, then finally tried letting her have smaller and smaller things until she got so hungry, she came and asked for more, and finally ate a normal amount in a normal way instead of eating two tiny bites over hours. And I think the overall idea of the story was that everything should be done in moderation, because if you don’t eat you’ll be too tired to have fun.
you said “want to know what my worst fear is?” and i LITERALLY HAD THE THOUGHT “me? probably being stalked, kidnapped, and raped?” and you said the exact same thing. like saying out loud that your worst fear is getting fat is definitely coming off as an eating disorder
I’m 21 years old and I struggle immensely with not completely falling victim to ED rhetoric and becoming overly restrictive. It’s hard though. I live with a roommate who I love, but has an eating disorder. All of my socials for the last year have seen a concerning uptick in ED content. As I set out to try and be healthier, both mentally and physically, I struggled with not following in the footsteps laid out by them. I made many missteps, and was not being healthy in doing so. Now though, while I still struggle with restrictive ideology, I can fight through it more. I have to remind myself everyday that being skinny will not make me happy. I want to have the energy to do what I love. I want to go hiking and running without concern I won’t have the energy. Being skinny will never beat out being healthy, and I can’t be healthy by not eating. Thank you for posting this. The few clips promoting ED ideology were harder to get through than I thought they’d be. Your words and the others speaking on the reality of eating disorders help to combat that though. I hadn’t seen Neil’s clips before despite enjoying his work, and it was really helpful hearing what he said.
Yes! You're doing a wonderful job. I'm a proper year or so into recovery and it's so euphoric to be able to walk without my legs hurting and HIKE with my classmates for hours!
Hearing all this just makes me so so shocked and disheartened. It’s one thing to want to lose weight or in better shape for your prolonged health. It is entirely another to literally bully yourself and make your life literally centered on your waistband size. There is a middle ground of being kind and knowing oneself. Literally a crying shame these women are displaying their broken spirit for the world as if it’s a normal way to function.
This isn't a vent its a warning .... I had a severe severe ed (bulimia and anorexia together) the bulimia was so bad for the 11 years I had it that there should be absolutely no reason that Im alive today ... somehow I am. Even though Im recovered now I suffer greatly every day from the damage i've done to my body. The worst of it has to be the pain and the loss of mobility in my joints. I struggle to do things now. I constantly feel like im living on borrowed time.
In general I'm a pretty healthy person, but I notice that when I'm in emotionally stressful states I am far more prone to candys and junck food. At one point I was talking to a Dr about it and they told me about how candy can help our brains in stressful situations because of how the candy trigers happy chemicals in the brain. That was a point that really taught me how its good and ok to trust your body to tells you what it needs to eat
imo the creators like the first girl (Anika?) are less harmful than more subtle ED content creators because they at least acknowledge the amount of self-hatred you have to have to engage in such profound self-destructive behavior. I had an ED on and off for abt 10 years and the most triggering content creators were always the ones who put on the best facade of having a happy, healthy life while being severely underweight. Those are the ppl that helped me delude myself into ruining my own life.
😶 the girl who said being fat is her worst fear reminds me of my ex's story of his recent ex before me, calling a mental health hotline about how she wanted to end her life but wouldn't on the chance that she be reincarnated as someone fat and ugly. She wasn't scared of death, just in being seen as ugly or fat.
As someone with anorexia (I know I should recover, but my mind doesn’t want to yet), it shocks me every time when someone posts shit glorifying eds. I would never EVER wish for someone else to go through this, and it sickens me that people post that shit to apps that have kids all over them
Also, ngl your speech at the end actually really motivated my mind closer to recovering than it has been before. Your words are a glimmer of hope and positivity
I think people need to just look at Olympic athletes’ bodies. There’s a wide array of body types in the olympics, and each person is at their peak physical health
ive always struggled with my body when i gained weight due to stress from bullying and academics, and im leaving a comment here in hopes i can accept my body one day
The '"i tried to be nice to myself and now im 10 pounds heavier than I was 6 months ago" is also my experience. I stopped working out and exercising to focus on Uni and I was being more kind to myself and suddenly i was 20 pounds heavier and really out of shape. It's really hard to find a balance between self-love and kicking your ass out of bed so you dont end up out of shape and unhealthy and a lot bigger and insecure
Skinny absolutely does NOT equal healthy. When i was in high school, i had a pretty bad ED. I was underweight- people congratulated me for being healthy, since i went to the gym a LOT. I was losing hair. I was cold and cranky all the time. All i could think about was food. My head and stomach always hurt. I couldnt think, my grades went down. I quite literally fainted almost daily. Now, according to BMI, im overweight. Im also the healthiest and happiest ive ever been. Im able to go get coffee with friends and not have a panic attack about it. I can walk around without passing out. I can eat yummy food and actually enjoy it. I can work out for the joy of moving my body and feeling strong, not just driven by fear and shame. I promise you recovery is possible and absolutely worth it- you're so beautiful, no matter what weight you are, and there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale.
I wish someone would tell doctors this! So many times a doctor will say “just eat less” when I barely eat as it is 🤬 I had ED when I was younger and the more I hear doctors telling me to eat less and lose weight the more it keeps making my ED habits creep back up 😩
I was literary at my most miserable at 15/16 y.o. while trying to get as skinny as those tumblr girls but I was never meant to look like that I found true peace with my body only around 2-3 years because I started doing crossfit. Now I can rep deadlift more than my bodyweight and be like "hell yeah" The fact that the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is making a comeback is nauseating And about worst fear: as a Ukrainian woman I'm afraid of being killed by a missile or a drone in my sleep or just while walking outside in broad daylight. But yeah, maybe "being fat" should be added to the list as well
That girl at 9:57 gave such an important message EVERYONE talks about always feeling cold or not having enough energy. Maybe they’ll talk about skipping social gatherings to stay thin. I very VERY rarely see anyone talk about the health complications with rashes or chest pain. No one talk about the insomnia. No one talks about eating food out of the trash because why would they? It’s disgusting. It’s not pretty and it’s embarrassing as hell. But I think by leaving that out of the conversation we miss out on helping people heal themselves before they get in so deep they can’t get out
I have the exact body type the women in these TikToks so desperately want because I'm chronically ill. I am not healthy. I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I ran less than a block a few weeks ago and nearly blacked out because of the exertion. If I could snap my fingers and be magically healthy for the trade-off of gaining twenty or thirty pounds, I would take it in a heartbeat. It infuriates me to see people who are healthy, whose bodies work like they should, intentionally try to get to a place where they'll feel like I do most of the time because of vanity and encourage their massive followings to do the same. Thank you for making this video and speaking on this. I was on Tumblr all through the big ED era and the last thing I want is to see it happen all over again.
I've struggled with an ed since middle school. I was the only girl who wasn't super skinny and stuff. So I would straight up not eat and worse until my mom caught me in 8th grade. It's not something you can just get out of though. And when things get tense I still find myself slipping into old habits and problematic ideas. I don't wish this on anyone. It would help your perception or health. Please don't hurt yourself for what trends say is better
i’ve struggled with an eating disorder since i was in elementary. i am 25. it doesn’t go away, i am still struggling. and it can’t go away until you want help, unfortunately i am not at that point that i am ready to recover. i can’t leave my house when i perceive myself “too big”. i can’t even socialize correctly cause i’m too worried about how i look. the food obsession. the way my entire day is ruined when i eat the “wrong” thing. not allowing my boyfriend to hold me because i feel too “fat’. this is so dangerous. it’s a legit mental health issue, and the fact that they’re pushing it is so disgusting. would you tell someone how to be depressed? how to be anxious? NO. SO WHY ARE WE DOING THIS??? SOCIETY NEEDS TO BE BETTER
As someone who fell into disordered eating, excessive exercise and self hate talk in late 2020, and it went on for around a year, perhaps 2. Im 5ft 2 and i lost almost 20 lbs in 6 months... i look at that now, as someone who was on the cusp of overweight, and i ended underweight, its scary how prevalent this is. I consider myself in recovery at the moment, but it still rears its head sometimes. I have to actively fight it still. The "lose 10 lbs" stuff is the difference between being healthy and being underweight for some people. Scary scary scary
One of the best pieces of advice we had ever gotten was "if your craving a food, then you probably need it"and its helped us so much more than any diet trend or anything that these people claim will 'make you healthy' and its honestly true, our bodies know what we need more than we think. If your craving salty foods you probably need salt, craving sugary foods you probably need sugar. our bodies are never the same and we should treat them with that understanding. Diet culture is built on a "one for all" idea which isn't true at all.
i grew up as an overweight kid and development an ed at a very young age, now im a constant cycle of eating healthy for a few months, and barely eating, but honestly the disordered thoughts are almost always there and i appreciate seeing people talk about this because so many women of all ages know how horrible it feels constantly worrying about how much u ate or how your body looks like, i really wish that we shut down the "heroin skinny" era that is starting as soon as possible
The nonsense of being skinny is healthy is so dangerous. I'm tiny. Not by choice, not from disordered eating, but for medical reasons. The comments I get are horrendous, people who want to praise me for being so unhealthily 'skinny' terrifies me for younger women and girls and those with eating disorders who are struggling. We should absolutely always and only be focused on being healthy, which is going to be a different size and shape for every person. The fact that we come in all shapes and sizes is one of the most beautiful, amazing wonders of the world. Of life. I promise you that your beauty, your worth, your value is not at all affected or impacted by your physical appearance. I don't need to see a single person reading this comment to know without a shadow of a doubt that you ALWAYS have been, YOU ARE, and you ALWAYS will be completely and totally deserving and worthy of love, respect, kindness, joy, happiness, EVERY SINGKE GOOD THING. Always, always, always!! And I know that because you are a human being and that is what makes you inherently valuable and worthy. I promise. ❤
i had bulimia for years and have always struggled with restricting and binging and it literally ruined my health. skipping meals inflamed my stomach and now i can’t have a multitude of foods. i have to restrict coffee, soda, and anything else acidic. the pursuit of thinness didn’t give me satisfaction even when i did see results.
I'm recovering from anorexia, I was in a binge cycle for years, I started at 16 because of Tiktok. being skinny is not worth losing your life. My heart muscle was weak, and I was close to getting heart disease, Try to recover, even if it's scary it's worth your life. I didn't gain as much as I thought I would when i recovered, I was scared but more scared of death. Now I'm healthier, and love myself making me lose weight because I enjoy exercising now instead of making it a massive rule. Feel a lot better, look a lot better, still insecure, but slowly learning to love myself and my body. Value yourself, your life. Because you are more valuable than you tell yourself.
I'm the "skinniest" I've ever been because I lost two jobs and fell into a deep depression and relapsed really badly into my ED, I'm also really struggling with chronic illnessness so I've quite literally never felt worse. But I get more complements now, I get hit on more now. It makes me feel so gross, because to me it is so obvious that I'm sick, but to everyone else I just look good. It's so hard to try and be healthy when people praise you so much more at your absolute worst.
I’m a binger and smaller plates do help me visualize proper portions. And starting with protein, then vegetables, then carbs so you get less of a sugar spike. But my problem is eating too much, usually mindlessly, not restricting. I always tell myself I can have more if I’m still hungry but I realize I rarely want more.
bruh i’m twenty yrs old u should know that us young folk grew up on ed twt/tumblr too !! we can’t be playing this oppression olympics game of “u don’t know what it was like !!” esp bc we DO KNOW
My page used to be only "Thinspo" ... breaks my heart that at 11yo I was spending HOURS looking up "how to skip meals without parents noticing" and "What gum makes you feel full"
I have always been a bit overweight at the very least and it's bothered me. I was a teen in the early-mid 2000s so being 140 pounds I was considered a disgusting pig. I wish I had appreciated my body more then, because I ended up getting to 255 pounds at my heaviest where I was miserable and so unhealthy. I have lost 50 pounds over the last seven months and it's the first time I have ever done it in a healthy way. My husband (who has also had weight issues his whole life) and I have been going to the gym, going for nice long walks in the park, drinking more water and cutting back on foods we were consuming too much of. We still get to have pizza, soda, birthday cake, etc. We're also learning to stop talking down to ourselves and being mean, because that just made us hate ourselves. We're learning to be proud of things like having improved blood work and being able to do physical activity without feeling tired constantly. Pretty soon we're going to start weight training which is scary but exciting! I can't wait to be able to have upper arm strength for pretty much the first time ever. Lol.
This video is incredible! From thesis to conclusion, from the provided media examples to your excellent sources, and then to share your own personal familiarity… Well done, and thank you for this. ED language and rhetoric has poisoned generations and generations of individuals… including myself. I (23yo) very recently started therapy for unlearning restrictive eating patterns. Your poignant yet concise words reflect how I’ve always thought everyone deserves to accept and treat their bodies, and it reflects the mindset I want to have for myself. So when I watch videos like this, I feel like I’m brought back down to earth. It is a call to come home- to listen and reconnect with my body. Thank you for providing me with a bit more courage to grow ❤
HOLY CRAP. Just started this, I'm an adult male with a metabolism that's been trying to kill me most of my life, but I have 2 younger sisters that have had to live through this and 2 nieces that are going to have to grow up through this crap. Mental health IS HEALTH. Got a meta like this and we can't provide therapy? This is a mental contagion that is being glorified. If you're not overtaxing your heart or lungs, don't overtax your brain.
It’s very unfortunate but when I was sick I would have hated everything you said. Now I’m recovered (99%) from AN this message is SO important. I don’t know how to bridge that gap :( diet culture is toxic and I wish we could all do away with it :(
Just letting everyone know that I DID NOT ADD THESE CHAPTER TITLES.... UA-cam did. I'm trying to get them removed now.
"give urself a english name like Kate Middleton, like I cannot imagine a royal stuffing their faces"
BABE, LADY DIANA WAS LITERALLY BULIMIC FOR YEARS 💀
I also thought of her. Shows how sick the whole scene is
Cathrine has been speculated about for YEARS that she has an ED, I remember all the headlines from around the wedding absolutely ripping her to shreds about her weight
@@seva9994 Fridge logic: maybe that's why she's been so open about her cancer dx and treatment. Because she does NOT need the red-tops speculating about her weight now.
Also most English and French royals both now and in the Victorian era are overweight because they have the money to indulge so like what??
The moment I understood people don't care about your health is when people would compliment my aunt by saying how much weight she has lost and what's her secret and she would answer 'I have cancer'. She looked terrible, all life was drained from her eyes and they would only see her weight. She humbled them really quickly though.
When I was at my sickest I would be showered in compliments by how thin I was and I looked like a model, once a healthy weight again not anymore. This world is scary, I pray your aunt has recovered or will and heals.
@@Wishfull171 I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're okay now. 🩷 My aunt has been cancer-free for a decade and enjoying her one-boob life (her words) and her retirement.
Omg my hair was thinning from malnutrition and id get compliments and they’d say did you do something different with your hair? No, I’m skinnier and my hair is thinning. I’ve gained and lost weight many times, and watching the way people treat me differently when I’m thinner really fucked with my head.
One day when my mum was under going her cancer treatment I was speaking to my boss and mentioned my mum had lost weight due to her chemo. My boss said that it was good and everyone could lose a bit of weight. I just starred at her and had no words.
I had cancer in my 20's and first I gained about 20-30lbs and then started rapidly losing weight. Same thing. Everyone wanted to know the secret. Random people and even family who KNEW I was sick would compliment me, tell me I was glowing. No I was not glowing, those are all the medications and surgeries.
I went from obese to underweight in the space of two years & when I got admitted to hospital for malnutrition, the nurses weighing me were obsessed with how “skinny” I was.
When explaining how the weight loss happened, they said they wished that happened to them so they could lose weight that quickly too. I was sat in a wheelchair, too weak to stand, hadn’t had a period for 4 months, lost half a head of hair and was struggling to breathe, and all these people cared about was how skinny I was. Really brought it home how screwed society is when it comes to weight and bodies.
That’s so unprofessional like wtf
I feel terrible for any woman who wants to become a nurse, because unfortunately a lifetime of horrific experiences with them (and the women who became them later in life) have given me a terribly biased impression that most of them are too stupid and/or selfish to maintain empathy on the clock. that's all it is
@@peachy_lili the good ones get burnt out
Oh my god the "I wish that happened to me" after explaining the horrible and traumatic way you lost weight is sooo real. I lost a lot of weight during the pandemic because being stuck indoors put me in a vicious cycle of panic attacks, no sleep, and being too dizzy and nauseous to eat, which in turn made the symptoms worse. It feels so deeply disrespectful when people express envy for that just because I lost weight. Oh you wish you'd suffered through all of that just to be skinny? Take it! Take all of it! I for one would've loved not to spend half of 2021 feeling like I was literally wasting away!
@@actuallyrubyleaf everything you just described was what happened to me, lost most of 2020/2021 due to being unwell and losing too much weight! I hope you’re in a better place now, you deserve to be happy and healthy x
Omg the self-hatred of that "oink oink" gal is sad to see.
She needs therapy, heavy therapy
@@spookyjones6577therapy doesn’t really help, you’d just be sent to the psychiatric hospital. therapy is absolutely a waste of time, and it is completely all just bullshit, and full of delusions. therapy absolutely sucks, and i’m forced too go there, and let me tell you that therapists don’t give a darn about you, they’d force you too take some type of medicine too help you “relax”, and the medication didn’t work. therapy is a complete scam, and a waste of money, and my gosh darn time.
It’s relatable unfortunately. Idk how many times even as a young young girl that I’ve hit my stomach or told myself I deserve to starve. It just creeps up on you.
@@spookyjones6577 And a massive hug ❤
oof the flashback it gave me. back in my mid-twenties i would post selfies of myself jogging and hashtagging it "run piggy run". painfully relatable.
"thunder thighs" you mean... muscle??
THIS
It took me a while to realize that thunder thighs just meant a lack of thigh gap
exactly like?? Having well developed muscles is extremely important for you. It takes so long to build them back up after losing some due to being injured or sick. So sad how aesthetics completely trump health for her
imagining a young soccer girl feeling like she's not good enough because her body doesn't cater to the male gaze and instead is built to excel in a sport. Heartbreaking, sending hugs to all teen girlies. Priorities please.
this makes me think of the WNBA players, specifically chennedy carter. people dont even care how talented you are, being ugly is the ultimate sin of this generation
Ummm men don’t like skinny tho? Have you met a straight man? They like big ass, big thighs, big boobs, slim thick, thicker the better. No man in my life has ever said he likes skinny, idk a single man that does.
i deleted tiktok years ago bc it was so bad for my mental health (unrelated reasons) but seeing this type of resurgence of 2014 tumblr-esque ed culture is so disheartening. a quote that has stuck with me personally throughout my own recovery journey says something along the lines of "you never hear someone tell you, 'you're gonna love my friend they're so skinny!' you hear people say 'you're gonna love my friend they're so kind. they're so funny. they're so thoughtful.'"
Love this ❤️
1000000000% this
I love this, thank you so much for sharing that quote ❤
I was on the peak of my Ed right when it was trending on tumblr. And I cannot stress this enough but the rethoric is so important. You are valuable regardless of your weight.
I like "Body Neutrality" as a sibling concept of "Body positivity". The latter never worked for me, I have dismorphia, I can't stand to look at my face, I never found myself beautiful. And when people tell me "but you are pretty" nothing will convince me they are not lying to my face out of pity. Body Neutrality means my worth is not determined by the way I look, I love myself for different reasons, I love my body for giving me the means to live and to go places and experience good things. But I don't pay a lot of thought to what it looks like. I'm allowed to be "ugly". It doesn't matter.
Very good video, thank you. ❤
I like that view.
Bodies are bodies, they’re not decoration or ornamental, they’re supposed to function. It’s not anything more than that. It prob sounds pessimistic to some but I find it empowering, I need my body and I need it to work well.
@@shannond1511so so true
"Im allowed to be ugly" is a powerful statement. Thanks for that ❤
As a disabled person body neutrality fits me way better then body positivity! Don’t tell me my body is beautiful, it gives me pain every day. But it’s allowed to be there and I have to take care of it.
My mother is 76. She's had bulimia since she was 14. She's had an eating disorder for 62 years. She's lost most of her teeth, she has a million health problems, and she's ruined her relationship with every person in her family. For my entire life I have been able to see every bone on her body, and it never made her happy. She binged whilst pregnant with both my sister and myself, and after my sister was born she had to be hospitalized for months because she nearly died. She will never get better, her ED will kill her and there's nothing anyone can do about it. 62 years lost to an eating disorder. Unimaginable.
This actually made me so so sad. I have bulimia. I’m 23 and I’ve had it since I was 12. My relationship with my family is so strained. I feel so guilty for everything g I’ve put them through. I’m trying to get better but I feel stuck. I’ve been in treatment before but it didn’t help except store me to healthier weight but the habit is still there and even more difficult because I’m not comfortable in my body. This comment was really eye opening. Thank you
@@ffiontill5924 I wish you all the luck in the world. You're really strong, I believe you can recover. 💜
Please always believe that you can get better, you are never truly doomed and it is never too late.
@@ffiontill5924i had bulimia and i’ve recovered 😊 you can do it ❤ feeling comfortable in your body won’t happen first. You have to begin recovery first, and then over time you’ll not only feel more comfortable and less dysmorphic in your body, but you just won’t care about it as much anymore. Other parts of your life will be allowed to take over the space where your eating disorder was, the space where they were supposed to be the whole time that your eating disorder was pushing them to the margins.
I went to outpatient care every day for several months, and then to a nutritionist when i had a relapse. My best recommendation is not to put off treatment/recovery until you feel comfortable in your body. If you need to, you can let your eating disorder believe that you’re just trying to learn the tools you’ll need for later when you’ve gotten to your weight goal.
I told myself that before I went to outpatient. I told myself that I’d go and I would listen, but I would just save all the information for later after I finally reached a weight that made me feel comfortable and that I was willing to maintain. And honestly, if I hadn’t told myself that, I don’t know if I would have gone in the first place.
But then you have to stick to the therapy and keep going. Say what you need to in the beginning to get the ED and body dysmorphia to shut the hell up. But then actually give the therapy a chance. Try the eating recommendations out. Try to stick to it as best as you can. Give it the old college try. Even if in the beginning you have to tell your ED that it’s just practice for later when you’re actually ready.
Because beginning recovery is what will make you ready to recover. It was therapy/treatment that permitted me to gradually let go of the bodily discomfort and the weight goal. And you’ll only truly feel ready when you let those goals go, not whenever you somehow meet them.
The body dysmorphia/ED is still something I have to be vigilant about. i don’t have a scale and i ask doctors not to tell me my weight during checkups. I avoid certain types of content, or at least try to be aware of when certain content is having a negative impact on my body image and then i switch to something else. When I’m feeling insecure I try to avoid looking at my body in the mirror, because I know i still can’t trust my own eyes when it comes to my body.
But i do not have bulimia anymore. I can’t even describe how much better it is to not have to worry about restricting and bingeing and purging. I have more friends than I did when I was in ED. I have a loving boyfriend. I don’t feel hopeless and disgusted with myself anymore. I feel much more capable of dealing with the other issues in my life that actually matter, unlike my weight, which doesn’t actually matter.
@@ffiontill5924 you've got this! you should be proud of yourself for the effort you've put in to show love to yourself
i basically grew up on tumblr and i'm having war flashbacks from some of the content i've seen recently.
Likewise
I was just telling my bf that I've noticed an uptick of fitness accounts I follow getting super into running this summer and that I'm very worried about what direction that's heading.
Omg the moment you said Tumblr the memories came flooding back in. Those posts were very painful and it was terrifying how they try their best to make us feel ashamed for being over 45 kilograms and promote starvation.
@@ItsAki-uh4rj the „diet“-groups… older man or idk where judged ur looks and called u out
@@krisuler7734 it wasn't just a random person here and there not wanting to be fat. Mountains of content about ed, people screaming at you from every direction, thinspo... I have an ed as well and at that time I was the sickest I've ever been. It was like a war to me tbh...
As someone who’s had a restrictive ED for years that comes and goes, a fair portion of these people absolutely know what they are doing. They are aware to some degree that they are being mean and putting out very competitive content, but the validation they receive from it outways everything else. Ana-brain takes over and they stop caring about anything but being skinny. Whenever my ED symptoms get bad I start body checking and posting it online with zero fucks given. realizing that’s what was happening took years
Very very real phenomenon. When you tell yourself being skinny is the most important thing in the world, it becomes it. When people value thinness over anything else they will stop at nothing to show it off if they’ve got it. Even if that’s in toxic, harmful, glamorizing ways. When you have an ED for a long time it rots you.
Speaking from experience, no judgement
I feel you
Exactly!! And the unfortunate truth is that the kids who listen to them will internalize that mindset and turn it against others to lift themselves (and their illness) up. I know because I did. My best friend did. My ex-girlfriend did. Aggressively comparing yourself like this never works.
Yup yup yup. Honestly, that was the thing that really pushed me into recover. I realized that I didn't like the person I was becoming, i was mean.
It becomes an obsession..even if you look horrible, older and unattractive you don't care cause the obsession takes over and it is no longer about being skinny but the obsession
getting an ad for that her's weight loss medicine that "uses the same active ingredient as ozempic" like cmon youtube read the room
OOOOF
My ad was for juniper "medical weightloss"
The same thing happens on Hannah Alonzo's anti-MLM videos. Sometimes she'll get ads for certain MLMs running on her videos. Her thoughts towards it though is that her audience is the perfect one to send those kinds of ads to because they know enough to not fall for it and buy into the program. I think the same thing applies here, fortunately
@@EllieofAzeroth unfortunately as many watching will be in recovery from disordered eating etc, it could trigger a relapse.
It is not a human "choosing" the ads-- it is AI using keywords to target ads..
I appreciate you covering it because no one is benefitted by brushing this under the rug. I have a hard time empathizing with ED content because I know they’re sick but sometimes the things they say are so, so mean that it really bugs me. I hope that by shining enough of a spotlight on this that more people realize that being mean to yourself and others is functionally useless. I’m a bastion of body neutrality and I love getting stronger! I wish that kind of happiness for everyone
Absolutely agree ❤️ it's a tangled mess because while I have empathy for what these creators are going through, they are doing so much harm and profiting monetarily off of it. It's a conundrum. That's why critique is so important.
As someone with an ED i agree with you. A lot of the ed content meant to trigger people is borderline offensive and needlessly cruel. It‘s not a good thing and being a bad person cannot be excused by „i‘m ill“ cause there‘s still agency when you treat fat ppl or ppl that don‘t look skinny like sh*t. „My illness made me do it“ is not an excuse and I fully support your comment here.
🤝😪 people not able/willing to be compassionate for themselves aren't willing to see it anyone else either 😢
I lost all sympathy to people with EDs that make twitter or tiktok posts. My family struggles with ED and I'm helping them through recovery and it taught me a lot, 99% of the content there is meant to trigger and sabotage others and they'll sit behind the "IMMM COOOOPING" shield a lot.
I have an eating disorder and an account dedicated to it on twitter. Never have I ever posted anything pro ana or glorifying my ed. Having an ed doesn't make you inherently a disgusting person online. I have fortunately met and followed A LOT of lovely accounts of people just coping and supporting each other but it's very valid to critique the majority being completely evil
as someone who developed an ED in high school... these two girls are exactly the type of "inspo" I would use to fuel my disordered eating.
I am 13 years old and 120 lbs, medically i am not overweight but i have seen enough tiktokers saying that being 100lbs is too much. I havent eaten since 2 days now and this video made me go eat a meal, thank you
i’m proud of you
god fucking damnit this breaks my heart
Oh god you poor thing, that's horrifying. You are a child, your only jobs are to go to school and try and be healthy, you have no obligation to try and reach these insane beauty standards.
i was in the same place as you at your age but i was probably bigger. i’ve been overweight throughout my life and i’ve struggled with disordered eating on and off since my teens. if your body is bigger at your age, it’s probably meant to be that way! you’re growing and your body needs nutrients to do that. in high school my disordered eating was at its worst and i did lose 60 pounds but at the cost of my mental wellbeing. my weight was my obsession and even at my lowest weight i was never “skinny”, that’s just not in the cards for me with my body and genetics. over time i’ve learned that it’s okay and that doesn’t make me unattractive or less valuable at all! now when i go through a “gym phase” i focus on building strength and targeting muscle groups i feel could be stronger. i hope you keep yourself and your mindset safe, there’s so much life you have to experience that will teach you so much
This feels like I’m looking at my 13 year old self. There’s nothing wrong with you babe. You deserve to eat, don’t let these sad TikTok girls make you feel any differently about that. ❤
Listen I’m overweight (due to a multitude of health reasons) and I don’t eat that much but I don’t restrict myself when it comes to eating. My ancestors did not die due to famine for me to starve myself
This is so real ❤️
Yeah- watching mothers consider cutting off body parts to feed to their starving kids in Gaza... seeing the corpses of starved kids with such pain in their faces. Food is amazing. Your first & most important job is to make sure that you are comfortable & nurtured.
Same. I'm considered overweight, but I'm vegan and audhd, so I don't eat much. And people get shocked because of that. I'm like well good morning, that doesn't correlate with each other
You are overweight because you cant put the spoon down. Plain and simple
@@lunatic5162 same here, I’m on medication to help with my autism that causes me to lose my appetite 😂
"age is a privilege denied to many"
It hits me so hard, as someone battling everyday against a hardcore depression and chronic fatigue, having to take so many pills to at least stay alive,
I took so much weigh with medications and got from skinny to almost a 100kg for 175cm, I developed dysphmorphia and cried because I got stretch marks,
But now what I see is a body with perfect blood work, beautiful curves and stretch marks that tells other "look I'm still alive"
And when I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm a disgusting girl, I try to be kinder and tell myself that my weight does not equal my worth as a human being
We all are beautiful in our own ways
I liked to call my stretch marks my tiger stripes and it makes me feel strong and powerful like a tiger. Because I don’t know who decided stretch marks were the worst thing ever but they really aren’t and are just there so I’m gonna think positively about it!
The fact that Liv's soccer career ended after a foot fracture is actually horrifying when you understand what malnutrition does to bone density and how much AN increases the risk specifically of foot fractures. If she had been less worried about her "thunder thighs" and had been eating enough, it's possible the injury wouldn't have ever happened.
Exactly. I crushed my spine when I was 16, crippling my body for life, & I don't know if I would have been stronger if I wasn't ano🦖ic.
Bro I have an eating disorder and the second girl made me so mad I actually thought logically for once and went like "GIRL YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY keep starving yourself I guess I'm gonna enjoy my life being me" and then had a meal. Damn this is HELPING ME
YOU ARE AMAZING FR I’M SO GLAD YOU ATE! I ALSO ATE LOTS OF YUMMY BREAD AND EGGS AND VEGGIES 💪🏻😍
@@CherryRabbitXOX HELL YEAH!! Tysm!
@@chris_freaky305 ♥️ KEEP GOING BESTIE
@@CherryRabbitXOX You got it
@@chris_freaky305 🙌🏻
EDs exist in SO many forms as well, I did a lot of binge-eating when I was younger due to being bullied for being “like a twig.” I know men who do INSANE restrictive eating in order to get “shredded.” Disordered eating is not ONLY about wanting to be thin. I’ve since taken the advice of “eat until you are satisfied” and that has significantly helped me. It’s wild to me to see the trends of EDs showing up so casually.
There was an INSANE amount of body dysmorphia in the Army. I would be talking to the hottest dude I'd ever seen in my life and he would talk about how fat he was, how he hated how he looked, how he needed to go to the gym more. It was bizarre and heartbreaking, especially because it was also actively pushed by the Army.
There's one video where there's a bunch of powerlifters talking about their peak, one guy talked about how he'd stuffed himself til he vomited in the sink, and all he could think about was how he was going to replace those calories, and everyone was like "Yeah, know that feeling" and laughing about it. But it's only unhealthy if you're fat, apparently.
It's so messed up how normalized it is especially in schools to say things like, "You need a sandwich". There was a boy in my health class in high school that was ruthlessly bullied by the teacher with comments about how thin he was. When you're a kid, the jokes are funny but later on when you realize the damage that it probably caused for him, you wonder why a TEACHER would feel the need to make all these jokes at the expense of a literal child
I will just put this here: the skinniest I ever was I was the sickest I had ever been, not eating because my esophagus was swollen shut, lost 25 pounds in 2 months (NOT GOOD) and got the MOST compliments I ever had. which made me feel worse because I knew I felt like I was dying… I got into my current relationship, gained weight from just being happy, comfortable, going out to eat together and being happily in love, and got the most comments on how i’ve gained weight and need to start trying to work out, I get my wisdom tooth out and i’m in such severe pain I couldn’t eat for days and lost 15 pounds and once again here come the compliments from my *nurse* coworkers and how I ‘lost the weight so fast’ when I felt like I could pass away from pain… I work in HEALTHCARE… the stigma on skinny equating healthy is a dangerous dangerous game …
People should just stop commenting on others' weight, unless they've been specifically told that the other person is intentionally losing or gaining weights. I remember seeing a video of a woman (I think she is a celeb and she isn't plus size) saying "she don't wanna be skinny because she always sees people get skinny and then die" (and I'm paraphrasing here). And it makes me realise how a lot of people know to equate constant gaining of weights and morbid obesity with death but they don't wanna connect rapidly losing weights, getting skinnier and skinner with death as well.
When I got severely sick early this year I had a nurse start commenting on how much weight I’d lost and how he wished he could do that. I was so appalled that he could say that stuff without thinking it could hurt me. He didn’t know it was because I was sick. I lost ~10 lbs in a week and almost had to go to the ER because I couldn’t even keep water down. And all people could focus on was my weight? Needless to say I’m still working on fixing my ED r3lapse afterwards. Nurses especially need to watch what they say.
@@saltydinonuggies1841 I hate that you had to experience that 💔, and I wish for the best for you🤞I made sure every person that asked me how I lost weight I told them straight ‘I was unhealthy and in pain.. you do not want to lose it the way I did and I will probably gain it back once my diet resumes to normal’ and leave it at that, hopefully we will reach a point in society where our size and shape is no longer a topic of conversation people feel like they have to share
That's so sad, when someone I know loses weight noticeably fast I grow extremely concerned and wonder if they are okay (physically or mentally) and usually (if I am close enough with them) I'll check in on them. Quick weight loss is always an alert symbol to me to make sure someone is okay, I could never equate it to something positive.
"gained weight from just being happy, comfortable, going out to eat together and being happily in love" -- you know who was the only person in my life who criticised me for that? *my toxic bf*. The one I was in love with.
This stuff used to be quarantined strictly within obscure forums and pages since the late 90s, where they were hard to find and usually had several barriers to access. Online discussion of eating disorders was taken a little more seriously by the people having them. Social media is so poorly moderated that anybody with an internet connection can run wild posting deranged and cruel things to public platforms, that even the existing forums dont allow. I hate it here
This! I was introduced to ED culture via public messaging boards, tumblr, pinterest, public forums, heck even just google images only a search away... years of suffering and struggle caused by falling down a rabbit hole as a pre teen. Id say online ED culture was at its most prevalent and public around 2016, people actively gave eachother tips on how to be ill better which seems to be a no no in a lot of "pro ED" spaces now, and there definetly werent as many people against it then or at least aware of it. Im so grateful for this recent wave of anti ED promotion content, because back when i was deep in it there werent well thought out commentaries, just passing jabs from random creators that kind of fueled things.
Thank for this. Growing up in the 90s and having an almond mom has forever affected how i see my body despite all the therapy . We dont need anything else in media encouraging EDs, life's hard enough lol.
Thank you for being here and sharing your story ❤️
Thank you 😊 @@happypancake234
The 90s were rough. I remember as a young kid thinking that every woman I saw on tv was my size or smaller and how can I possibly compete with that?
I'm not gonna justify the way this influencers promote eds, but I am gonna comment on something. "Is your biggest fear really being fat?" Is kinda diminishing the actual fear around eds. I have anorexia and it sucks. Right now, I'm in between recovery and relapsing, and being fat is not my biggest fear. I was sa'ed when I was younger and I was severely bullied as a kid, so my fear is becoming a target, my fear is not being able to control how other people perceive me and therefore be in danger again. I'm agreeing with pretty much everything that you said, but in my experience, eating disorders and the fear around them grow out of trauma, not at the idea of being fat. Anyways, it's a horrible, painful illness, and I don't wish it on anyone.
Thank you very much for saying this. I'll be more careful with my language in the future
Unfortunately, when you start with “ I'm not gonna justify the way this influencers promote eds, but…” it generally means you’re about to do exactly that. No one is diminishing your personal experience but you need to recognize that it is anecdotal and not all that suffer with anorexia (or any other ed) will have the same experience. This was a direct quote being critiqued and did not have anything to do with your experience. If there is something said that does not apply to you, don’t take it personal.
It is rather inane that someone's BIGGEST fear is to become “fat”... not death of a loved one or a child, not losing one or more of their 5 senses, not having an untreatable terminal illness or being tortured to death (to name a few things) but being… fat. Really?!
I’m sorry you were bullied growing up. Unfortunately, you will never be able to control how other people perceive you and you’ve gotta make peace with that. People see you as they are and not as you are. Not everyone is going to like you either. If you work towards being a kind and good person from the inside out, always focusing on your own personal growth, it won’t matter how anyone else perceives you because you’ll love yourself. If you are worried about physical safety, train in martial arts. It worked for me.
@@musiclove7375 You're fundamentally misunderstanding a root cause of many eating disorders, which the original commenter explained very eloquently in their comment - it's the need for control and a fear of lack of control which can arise out of traumatic life experiences, such as sexual assault (as mentioned in the original comment). It's not always a "fear of being fat". It's a mental illness and the causes can be much deeper. Your response comes across as a bit invalidating. I would recommend watching Louis Theroux's documentary 'Talking to Anorexia' if you want to learn more about the complexity of this disease.
Representation matters so much!! It was hard growing up as a young Black girl in the 2000s. As much as I detest the BBL craze that happened, it led to more companies creating clothes for curvy body types. I thought we were headed in the right direction with body positivity, but I guess thin is always in 😢
It definitely comes in aggressive waves and trends. I have no doubt that curvy will be "in" again in a few years. Unfortunately the things that get pushed in media are what is seen as the most exclusive and what companies can make the most money on at the time 😭😭😭
LITERALLY LMAO, it’s just going back to the same shit
Honestly fat acceptance shot body positivity in it's foot
@@happypancake234 They have to keep selling you different cuts of pants. And change the rise. "Uh-oh, muffin top". "Uh-oh, hip dip". Uh-oh, no thigh gap"..
Thin was in even with BBLs being a trend. You needed to have a big butt and big boobs, BUT you also need to have a thin waist and flat stomach. You need to be SNATCHED and not have a single roll on your body.
Trigger warning: I have been having trouble with disordered eating and being underweight for years and was always given a hard time by my family because apparently being told I looked like a "vulture" would help somehow... I have been healing, currently in the gym and being followed by a dietitian to gain muscle and get healing, doing therapy and taking depression medication. In the meanwhile, I had to go home because my grandma died and I kid you not, in the church, right in front of the open casket people were asking me "What happened to you, you gained weight" and it came to the point where a disgusting uncle I haven't talked to for decades PUT HIS HAND ON MY BELLY and said I had to lose weight... Wtf is wrong with people? I used to think this sort of thing only happened in social media but I guess people are this dense in real life too
@@vitoriaarruda2968 I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you're on the road to healing and those family members can go right off ❤️
I feel you so hard. I'm finally somewhat stable with my weight and I enjoy food and I can finally climb up stairs without blacking out - but every time I'm home the first thing anyone comments on is my stomach and how I need to fix it. NO I will NOT. I love it, fuck all of em
I'm sorry this happened to you. I understand completely. I blame unwarranted comments about my appearance for my lifelong ed.
What is it with relatives always pointing out your body as soon as they see you? Why is that a thing?
Protip: hands on you without your consent, even too lightly to injure, is technically assault. That means that if you punch him, "he started it" actually is a slight legal mitigation if he calls the police.
I'm so glad Neil Newbon explained about the dehydration for photoshoots because he's absolutely right. Even the models don't actually look like that all the time. It's not even realistic for them. They manage it for a few hours on one day, after WEEKS of disrupting their daily life through restriction and exercise and then literally depriving themselves of water for a day. And also stuffing themselves with carbs RIGHT before the photoshoot to try and make their muscles look as bulky as possible. Nobody, not even them, can look like that all the time because nobody can live like that all the time.
As a skinny person I can confidently say skinny DOES NOT equal healthy. I have extremely high metabolism which causes constant headaches and low blood sugar unless I constantly eat. I have adults telling me I have the perfect body but I don't. For anyone who needs to hear this, eating and nutrition is important, don't limit your intake. Do not compare yourself to conventionally sized people because we are not the epidemy of health. Take care of yourselves ❤
Thank you for this
Absolutely. I always had to explain to teachers that yes, I really did need to eat that snack right in the middle of class because my blood sugar had dropped low enough that I was getting shaky. No other issues, just a high metabolism and a child sized stomach. It doesn’t happen as often as I’ve grown up (as long as I eat regularly), but I almost always carry a snack in my bag since I don’t want to be caught off guard.
Remember 1,500 - 2,000 calories minimum/day babe and if you're is that high then much higher. I hope it's balanced and managed well.
Thank you! Yeah man, the thinnest people I know have true health issues that make them that way. And I’d argue you’re not conventional size, society pretends it’s conventional. (I assume, not sure if you’re actually that thin. But you know ow what I mean. 😊)
Yeah, my friend is way below normal weight for his height and he has constant joint pain (mostly unrelated, however I do notice the leg he needs constant surgery on is the thinner one). He's always cold, he can't have that much sugar or caffeine or he gets too shaky, but he still needs enough sugar to not faint so it's always a balancing act. I'm in a normal weight range but I'm still on the thinner end. I want to donate blood more especially because my blood type is valuable, but I can't do so easily because I'll always faint and vomit.
I work as a furniture loader in a warehouse. My job is hot, physical, and exhausting. I'm the only women who is a loader and I keep up with the men. Almost my skinniest at 173 right now. Not only is it impressive to have a lot of muscle, it takes more work then being skinny. Its so aggravating to see women degrading others for not having "skinny legs" when it took more effort to get these muscles. Nothing to be insecure about being capable.
Or being strong.
Remember, promoting ED behaviors is reportable on TikTok. I wish these platforms would take some responsibility for the content it allows and the very real consequences of them
it’s such a bad cycle to fall into
you can see it in every generation of women. my mom is in her 50s and still on an extremely strict diet/workout routine. my grandma is in her 70s and still restricts/diets, even taking medicine that suppresses her appetite. and they’re telling me about it like they’re doing something healthy, and i just don’t know how to react
i have ARFID and i’ll be the first one to say, being skinny has NOTHING to do with being healthy. i’m not healthy at all but they’ll comment how good i look or that i must be so healthy when i’m home :,)
much love to anyone out there who doesn’t feel comfortable in their skin. that’s a horrible feeling, no matter how “normal” it is
I absolutely relate to this. My mom was all about paleo and CrossFit when I was a kid. Now she’s into carnivore and Pilates. Other family (especially women) members have been dieting in some fashion or another my entire life. I used to be super skinny when I was a teen and got so many compliments on that but also had people ask me if I was anorexic point blank even though I wasn’t. I’ve gained a ton of weight in recent years and I’m trying not to hate my body for it. I also struggle with being healthy because I’m fairly certain I also have ARFID and struggle with eating most foods that are healthy for one reason or another. So I used to just not eat sometimes. Or I’d get too overwhelmed by the idea of finding something I could eat that I’d just skip meals. But I try really hard not to do that to myself anymore, which results in me eating whatever I want most days (on the days that I have any appetite at all and if not then I eat whatever is least repulsive). Fed is best is what I’ve been trying to tell myself. It helps that I have a wonderful partner who helps make sure I eat now.
@@Mazygolucky i feel you! there are days where i feel like all i can stomach is super basic carbs like pasta or bread. i tell myself the same “all calories are good calories” but i def am lacking protein and other important things in my diet. drinking calories helps if you like smoothies, you can sneak important stuff in. or there are things like savory protein bars now which is great bc i really don’t want something sweet in the morning. it does suck that something so simple becomes so draining/all consuming. but we’re doing what we can and i’m proud of us for that ❤️
I have ARFID too. It sucks
I had a family reunion this summer and my grandmother has always been weird about food. My mother and aunt had to grow up with that and never pushed it on myself, my siblings or my cousins. And yet… my cousins laughed about my grandmother hinting to them (all adults, mind you) that maybe they shouldn’t have FRUIT as snacks between meals. It never ends.
This video was so helpful to me! I’m nearing 60 and have several autoimmune issues. As a younger woman I was tiny…because I was SICK. I’m healthier now. I’m also 20 lbs heavier. I’m slightly overweight according to BMI which my doctor has told me is fine. And yet I sometimes cry when I look in the mirror. Gone is the concave belly. Because now I can eat without vomiting. Gone are the perky boobs, because I birthed and nursed a miracle child I never thought I would have. Gone is the thigh gap, because I love riding my bike, doing squats and hiking. I struggle to remind myself, however, that it is okay that I don’t look 25. You may never see this as I see I’m a bit late to this party, but if you do…THANK YOU!
people dont say enough about the longterm consequences like having half of your hair fall out or needing new teeth because your body eats at everything to upkeep the energy
"you cannot hate yourself into a version you love" is something that has always stuck with me.
watching this with a bucket of popcorn and a redbull not because im not triggered by EDs, but inspite of it
@@PPPP-yi6mv oh yeah I'm having a blast!! ty!
Yes girl I just enjoyed some pasta and a soda. I was never like these women but had Ana and Bulimic at one time. I will never be that cruel to myself again. And I won't let someone who can't even love the lips they were born with tell me I need to starve like them.
@@Wishfull171 ugh I love u!
@Wishfull171 i love this for you diva
Hey, as a french girl, using our country to reprensent your ED is INSANE considering how culturally important good food and mealtimes are to us
Best thing my therapist ever told me while I was in recovery:
"If these quick diets actually worked, long term, there would BE no diet culture. There would BE no industry making billions off of human bodies. If it worked, we would all be following ONE diet and all look the same. They aren't what you think they are."
I don't know what happened in my brain since I've turned 35. But i honestly do not care about being seen as beautiful. It's such a circular and bottomless pit of self depreciation. Being beautiful is ever changing, and someone will always find you ugly. I don't care about being beautiful, i wanna be feared. I wanna be so strong, that when people see me lifting all the grocery bags in one hand, or lifting a 44lb bag of dog food with one hand, they secretly are in awe. Working out to be seen as sexy, or thin is such a bore, like squats for a big ass.....ground breaking. I have always been very physically strong, and i no longer am confining my growth to aesthetics, or beauty standards, the small box of "sexy strong". If you know what i mean..Trying to be sexy and beautiful is too exhausting, it's also just a waste of my time, I'm too busy buying yarn, working in my garden, racing my kids at the park. I refuse to participate in the never ending dance of beautification. I look forward to being an old hag.
I'm 40 and feel the same. I want to be strong enough to take care of myself. Seeing my mom lose her mobility and independence, did it for me. Fuck being beautiful-I want to be free.
@@EmotionalSupportPeetz I watched my grandmother deteriorate in her elderly years. She used to be a beautician, she owned her own school in mexico. She went bald, her spine hunched over. She broke her hips on separate occasions. She never worked out, she believed it made you look like a man, strength training would have helped strength her bones, her spine so she wasn't as vulnerable in her older age. It really does motivate me to try my best to take care of myself, for me and my health. The beauty standards are ever changing, and never has it ever been to the benefit of woman. Especially to our health.
I wanna be you when I grow up lol
I sadly had to tap out because the clips were bringing up unhealthy old ED thoughts, but I seriously appreciate that you plarformed this issue, thankyou so much for speaking up about this. No more generations of young people's energy being wasted on the pursuit of thinness, training us to justify being dehumanising bullies just because the target is ourselves.
No worries at all! I appreciate you looking after yourself! 🥰
I do have to say as someone who struggles with the opposite problem bordering on binge eating, I physically can't trust my body. My body won't tell me I'm full. It's taken so long for me to find a balance, but with people who deal with binge eating portions can be a good tool when used well.
Absolutely! From the reading I've done, intuitive eating has to be slowly introduced to people who have binge eating disorders. Again, I'm not a professional, but from what I understand, this is moreso directed at people who have misconceptions about nutrition or have some form of "ana" or are bordering on ana.
I have ADHD & I have recovered from Bulimia/Anorexia. I do have to keep an eye on food & water. Listening to my body alone doesn't work, because she fails to pay much attention a lot of the time. Definitely force myself to drink water- but not in a disordered way- just we need water & my body forgets.
I have ADHD & I have recovered from Bulimia/Anorexia. I do have to keep an eye on food & water. Listening to my body alone doesn't work, because she fails to pay much attention a lot of the time. Definitely force myself to drink water- but not in a disordered way- just we need water & my body forgets.
Yeah, I have to do portion control due to binge eating, too. The hormones that tell me that I'm hungry or full are messed up in my body from other illnesses.
I am the same. I have to be really careful with portions. I will otherwise just keep eating till I can’t breathe anymore.
There's so much ableism wrapped up in fatphobia as well, this presumption that if you exist in a bigger body you are unhealthy & thus inherently worth less as a person. I used to be shredded prior to a knee injury, I ended up with chronic pain that turned into early onset arthritis & it made it impossible for me to keep up my old workout routine, so of course I gained weight & am now plus sized. The amount of abuse I got from friends & family for this despite them knowing this was because of my disability is crazy. So much of fatphobia is just another aspect of how our society hates disabled ppl
Calorie intake I'm assuming, has a part in that lmao aBLaeisM 🙈🙈 clown world we living in
@@totezmagoatz I mean you posted the right emoji I guess. It takes a clown to find the circus and honey you're the ringleader lol
Not only that very weird fat=unhealthy=worthless pipeline, as if they have anything to do with each other. But also the so unnerving hypocritical and fake "it's just a fact that being overweight is bad for your health, not to be disrespectful, just trying not to spread harmful rethoric that being fat is okay". Like b***h you don't care about my health or anybody else's health, you're just using virtue signaling to excuse your fatphobia! If you were actually concerned about my health you would fight for more investments being directed towards accurate research for cronic diseases, like mine. Even if I stop being overweight, I'll still be unhealthy, but would you still complain that I'm unhealthy???
Most people 300+ pounds are unhealthy I hope that helps
@@Hwgt888 you don't hope anything helps and to pretend otherwise is absurd.
As far as I’m concerned this type of content is the equivalent of making videos for children talking about how cool smoking cigarettes is. They are teaching kids to hate their bodies and setting them up for chronic mental and physical illness. It’s disgusting.
that's a perfect analogy for this situation! i'm going to start using that to put it into perspective how damaging this type of content is to everyone
I’m a construction worker now and my strength and health is literally of utmost importance now. I used to have an eating disorder and now when I think I miss how I looked, I honestly just think about how weak and useless I was compared to now. I might not be as thin but I’m actually strong and productive now. And if I think about it with any kind of logic, the trade is not worth it.
when can people realize that true wellness and health is in cultivating a nurturing relationship to our body including taking care of it, moving it, and challenging it? All these people end up doing is developing smaller bodies and horrid amounts of self-loathing and shame
@@pri2x0x we have to keep relearning these same lessons. It's so frustrating
You’re not taking care of yourself if you’re morbidly obese. There’s no way. You’re by default unhealthy
As a woman in her late twenties, I can confirm my worst fear is the EXACT SAME as what you said yours was.
Omg SAMEEEE ❤❤❤
The thing that helped me heal my relationship with food is the saying "eat what you want, add what you need". Not removing, adding.
Love this ❤
I grew up doing ballet and I was lucky to have a beautiful relationship with it... I didn't use the same words at the time but I was completely focused on having a "useful" body. I was laser focused on what my body could do and how to improve my ability to do what I loved (dance) every day. I became disabled in my early twenties and that's when my relationship with my body tanked. Because I couldn't do what I wanted, the only value I could find in my body was aesthetic. I'm in my early thirties now trying to recover from an eating disorder. I wish I had the ability to do some casual ballet classes like you described yourself doing, I want to rebuild that positive relationship I used to have with myself, but instead I have to find new ways. It's so hard. It's so miserable. The irony and the lie of EDs is control. You can never be in total control of your body, and when you try to seize control so completely, you lose it to your disorder.
I'm so sorry that happened to you ❤️ from a fellow ballerina I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Thank you for sharing your story with me and good luck!
I’ll just let everyone know that thinness isn’t just pushed onto girls when they’re young. It’s the same at every age, but women as they age are also told they must stay a perpetual child in looks too. So older women must also stay thin, but not age.
fat being your worst fear is like criteria one of an anorexia diagnosis 😭
I used to have problems eating, being incredibly broke didn't help, but it was after my daughter that I realized that talking negatively about myself would hurt her. Haven't gotten to the "love my body" stage, but I'm neutral about it.
It's great that you have made changes for your daughter's sake. I wish you the best of luck on your journey ❤️
@@happypancake234
Honestly what's changing my mind about my body is the guy I like. I remember him looking at me in the car and when I stopped talking he said "I'm paying attention. You've just got a killer body." LIKE SIR!?
Feeling neutral about your body is good enough!
@@pattersondh
That's kinda how I'm feeling about it. Previous comment not withstanding.
Literally body neutrality is fucking solid and a good place to stop at I think!!!!!
Every woman I know (including myself) looks back at the past when we *thought* we were fat like, damn, I wish I was that size now! Every generation has a generation before them trying to pass on that knowledge. You’re not fat, you’re fine, you’re healthy, you look beautiful, you’ll look back in 10 years and realise. But we can never believe it. Because every single generation is being told by the media or society or social media that you are fat. You’re not skinny enough, you’re not fit enough, etc. And I fear that cycle will never change. For me, I was a chubby kid objectively speaking. But I also developed way faster than the other girls around me. So by the time my body had changed into a more womanly figure (at the ripe old age of 10-12) I still saw myself as the chubby kid that got bullied. And then developed BED. So now I am larger and look back and think ‘I wish I was that size again.’ It’s so sad.
So true. I’ve been all kinds of weight from my teen years to my late 30s, from 102 to 163ish pounds (sorry, converting from kilos) and definitely had ED symptoms as a teen (never diagnosed cos being skinny was ok). I am objectively overweight now, but I can’t remember a single time I felt skinny enough.
I'm only in the first half of the video on oh sweet jesus christ.
The way that fatphobia, and the rebranding of 'weightloss' culture into wellness culture is on the up swing is really deeping frustrating and as a fat woman it's so fucking demoralising. I'm glad that I'm in a place where I'm comfortable in my body but I'm in my mid 20's and not on tiktok or instra so I cannot imagine how pervasive this is for other people
I had a coworker that would constantly say how fat she was and what she ate in a day trying to lose weight. It was so constant to a point where I was questioning if I was fat and if I needed to lose weight too. Whether it's in real life or through the internet this behavior should not be normalized. Thank you for covering this topic.
I was a teen in the mid 00’s and was relatively skinny, however in puberty developed this random pooch that sticks out. I legitimately would starve myself to keep it as small as possible. Flat stomachs were THE sign of beauty and as I did not have one no matter how skinny I was I felt physically worthless (I had no stability & childhood traumas added to that view). Pushing body standards is such a dangerous game.
I've always had a potbelly and huge thighs, since childhood. I wasted my pinnacle of conventional physical beauty in my youth thinking I was fat when I wasn't, actually got fat, she'd that, and now my thighs are one of my favorite features.
I took a slightly perverse pleasure in watching this video while stuffing my mouth with a delicious bowl of Hong Kong chicken I made. I'm a heavier gal and I want to exercise more but I will never allow people like this to give me a bad relationship with food.
Edit: as some people seem to be having issues with what I said here, allow me to clarify a few things! Firstly, the meal I made was not junk food, it was all homemade (including fresh veg and fruit!) with some chicken and noodles. A very balanced meal. Secondly, I am not "glorifying" overeating (because I wasn't) apparently some people aren't familiar with a bit of exaggeration for the sake of affect! And thirdly, if you read "heavier gal" and food in the same sentence and instantly come up with "fat cow binging on junk food" I think that's a you problem.
Eating to fuel your body is not just about the bare minimum, it's about figuring out a balanced diet that you enjoy. I'm only 20 and still learning what to cook for myself that's healthy and tasty. People like those covered in this video would have you believe my being a little overweight is the worst possible thing I could experience. But that's something that will fluctuate all my life (especially if I have children!) so rather than concentrating on weight, I'm concentrating on health. And if that means carrying around a bit extra padding to ensure I get the vitamins, proteins, and general sustenance my body needs to look after itself, I do not give a single shit.
The assumptions made by a few people in the comments below this astound me and, as chiefpurrfect nicely pointed out, it's not normal behaviour to go out of your way to insult someone online because of an assumption and preconceived idea you have of who they are. You're no better than the people Pancake is talking about in this video. Luckily, I've been on the internet long enough so that comments like that roll off my back but it worries me that younger women and girls aren't like that and get effected by these things, which is why I wrote this.
To any and all young people out there who might be reading this: being a bit overweight is not the end of the world. It does not devalue you. Strive for health, not to be skinny.
You go piggy!
“Stuffing your mouth” but you don’t have a bad relationship 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@Hwgt888omg stfu bestie your not a nice person if that's your first response to someone having a healthy relationship with food
As if eating extremely processed food full of chemicals is in any way empowering lol. What a lack of individual thinking... equally as sad as someone who starves.
Y'all are so rude and unsightly completely unprompted in the replies. Here's what I don't get- genuine question. Does hearing someone in a bigger body not psychologically hate themselves remind you of how much you hate yourself? Because clearly, your behavior isn't emotionally healthy and secure- otherwise you wouldn't be reacting with aggression to a person stating they're enjoying life in their body like you are responding to a threat. Happy people don't leave rude comments to total strangers on the internet because they have better things in their life than that.
Do you have some kind of deep-seated belief that being slim is necessary to being happy with yourself and seeing a happy and secure fat person gives way to that lie by reminding you that you're still miserable even if you are slim? Is that why you feel the need to "humble" them for having the audacity to exist without apologizing for their body or performing self-loathing for the comfort of slim people? Is this what this is? 'Cause if so, depressing.
astarion telling me my body is okay is literally the only thing i needed bro
Oh my gosh the person who pointed out the struggle being 5’0” with diet culture is so freaking real 😭 it’s so frustrating to be short, unable to lose weight because my tdee is so much lower than someone who is 5’8”. There is no universe in which I can have a thigh gap 😭
I relate to this so hard. When I tried to restrict the supposed 1500-1600 cals I'm supposed to have as someone who's 160 cm, I ended up undereating so much and still only gained weight. I wish more short girls like Sabrina were popular, her and other short girl influences made me feel a lot safer and more seen in my body ❤
Trust me babe, idk about other tall girls but at 5’10, I feel so much more hungry. Like 1700 calories to a short girl to me feels like 1200 istg so dw babe it’s no easier whatsoever 😔🙌🏻
14:17 I’m short too-I’m only 5’3.5” (161.5 cm). I feel the same way. Maintaining my weight is so darn hard because I’m short. My maintenance is only around 1,400 calories per day-if I go over that amount, I gain weight.
There’s no leeway for us shorties.
For real, being short sucks. 😭
Yep, I used to be one of those girls with a "tumblr era ED blog" and even almost a decade into my recovery journey I'll ACTUALLY be real and say that I miss that community. But THEN I remember the self-hatred, the extreme pain and weakness, the complete and utter loss of my college years - which were consumed by my ED voice and numbers and constant exercise, the competition, EVERYTHING was so horrible even though I felt like I looked good (in reality I looked very sick, because I was). It was just Not Worth It!! I also really love the goal of having a useful body, thanks for introducing that concept to me in this vid!
Thank you so much for this video. The moralization of weight is quite literally killing us. Whether people are religious or not we still have this idea in society that fatness is divine retribution and needs to be punished. No wonder these young girls are TERRIFIED of becoming fat. They believe being fat makes you a bad person. They are taught that fat people do not deserve to enjoy themselves as a result of that. They're not allowed to enjoy their food or cooking or baking, not allowed to relax, not allowed to have a hobby that's not active, not allowed to think about anything other than getting thin as quickly as possible. Fat people are not allowed to be healthy. They're supposed to get skinny, no matter what. If it means no longer eating, exercising until agony and exhaustion and isolating themselves away from family and friends to "avoid temptation" then they should do that. Of course that idea makes people terrified of gaining weight. Especially because weight is seen as a black and white thing. You are skinny until you reach the threshold of fat, no inbetween. Crossing that societal threshold means being treated worse and being expected to hurt yourself. That threshold gets lower and lower with every thinspo influencer, every new diet fad, every fashion trend that requires thinness to look good. It hurts everyone. Of course they're scared. That doesn't mean they get to help make things worse, but I understand why.
I don't want to go back to the heroin chic era. To the era where skinny celebrities were marketed as horribly, irreparably fat and the effects that had on all of us. As a society we barely even know what a fat body looks like, nevermind what it needs.
THIS completely
True!!
Any 90s kids remember being read a story in school about a little girl who wouldn't finish her dinner, so her mother kept giving her smaller and smaller portions that she refused to finish...I remember in the end she got like 2 grains of rice and 2 peas on a doll plate, and ate one of each...until she nearly starved to death...I think of it a lot when talking about early conditioning for ED as a child. Because I always felt it was told as aspirational in a way, like what self control the little girl must have!
I have searched, but remember so little about the story. I don't remember if it was part of a nutritional program or from a collection of fables or what. Does anyone else remember that???
That sounds like something out of a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle book. They were written in the early 20th century as """guides""" for children to learn good behavior in the guise of whimsical childrens stories. Don't know if that's exactly it, but it sounds exactly like something one of those books would have.
I think it may have been one of several german authors and/or fairytale collections that are famously f“““ed up. They are written by wilhelm busch and I think I have heard this story too at sone point. At the very least there is a similar story about a boy who refuses to eat his soup and literally dies 😅
The german tile for another one that sounds similar to this is „Struwwelliese“, no idea if it was ever translated though 🥲
I remember the story was a small part of another bigger story, and the girl was taking as small of bites as she could and her parents were trying to get her to eat more, then finally tried letting her have smaller and smaller things until she got so hungry, she came and asked for more, and finally ate a normal amount in a normal way instead of eating two tiny bites over hours. And I think the overall idea of the story was that everything should be done in moderation, because if you don’t eat you’ll be too tired to have fun.
@@EmilyParagraphI think that was it!
you said “want to know what my worst fear is?” and i LITERALLY HAD THE THOUGHT “me? probably being stalked, kidnapped, and raped?” and you said the exact same thing. like saying out loud that your worst fear is getting fat is definitely coming off as an eating disorder
I’m 21 years old and I struggle immensely with not completely falling victim to ED rhetoric and becoming overly restrictive. It’s hard though. I live with a roommate who I love, but has an eating disorder. All of my socials for the last year have seen a concerning uptick in ED content.
As I set out to try and be healthier, both mentally and physically, I struggled with not following in the footsteps laid out by them. I made many missteps, and was not being healthy in doing so.
Now though, while I still struggle with restrictive ideology, I can fight through it more. I have to remind myself everyday that being skinny will not make me happy. I want to have the energy to do what I love. I want to go hiking and running without concern I won’t have the energy. Being skinny will never beat out being healthy, and I can’t be healthy by not eating.
Thank you for posting this. The few clips promoting ED ideology were harder to get through than I thought they’d be. Your words and the others speaking on the reality of eating disorders help to combat that though. I hadn’t seen Neil’s clips before despite enjoying his work, and it was really helpful hearing what he said.
Yes! You're doing a wonderful job. I'm a proper year or so into recovery and it's so euphoric to be able to walk without my legs hurting and HIKE with my classmates for hours!
Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing your story. You're doing great! I wish you the best of luck on your journey ❤️
Hearing all this just makes me so so shocked and disheartened. It’s one thing to want to lose weight or in better shape for your prolonged health. It is entirely another to literally bully yourself and make your life literally centered on your waistband size. There is a middle ground of being kind and knowing oneself. Literally a crying shame these women are displaying their broken spirit for the world as if it’s a normal way to function.
This isn't a vent its a warning .... I had a severe severe ed (bulimia and anorexia together) the bulimia was so bad for the 11 years I had it that there should be absolutely no reason that Im alive today ... somehow I am. Even though Im recovered now I suffer greatly every day from the damage i've done to my body. The worst of it has to be the pain and the loss of mobility in my joints. I struggle to do things now. I constantly feel like im living on borrowed time.
Oh damn, I didn't realize the permemant loss of joint mobility could happen with EDs. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
In general I'm a pretty healthy person, but I notice that when I'm in emotionally stressful states I am far more prone to candys and junck food. At one point I was talking to a Dr about it and they told me about how candy can help our brains in stressful situations because of how the candy trigers happy chemicals in the brain.
That was a point that really taught me how its good and ok to trust your body to tells you what it needs to eat
imo the creators like the first girl (Anika?) are less harmful than more subtle ED content creators because they at least acknowledge the amount of self-hatred you have to have to engage in such profound self-destructive behavior. I had an ED on and off for abt 10 years and the most triggering content creators were always the ones who put on the best facade of having a happy, healthy life while being severely underweight. Those are the ppl that helped me delude myself into ruining my own life.
pancakes were a huge fear food for me, thanks for this illuminating breakdown of this topic, happy pancake!
Of course ❤️❤️ sending you so much love on your healing journey
3:00 well,i was NOT expecting that. Holy shhh,this is going to be a rough watch
😶 the girl who said being fat is her worst fear reminds me of my ex's story of his recent ex before me, calling a mental health hotline about how she wanted to end her life but wouldn't on the chance that she be reincarnated as someone fat and ugly. She wasn't scared of death, just in being seen as ugly or fat.
"Are you a ballerina?" didn't end the way I thought it would. It was a million times better.
As someone with anorexia (I know I should recover, but my mind doesn’t want to yet), it shocks me every time when someone posts shit glorifying eds. I would never EVER wish for someone else to go through this, and it sickens me that people post that shit to apps that have kids all over them
Also, ngl your speech at the end actually really motivated my mind closer to recovering than it has been before. Your words are a glimmer of hope and positivity
I think people need to just look at Olympic athletes’ bodies. There’s a wide array of body types in the olympics, and each person is at their peak physical health
ive always struggled with my body when i gained weight due to stress from bullying and academics, and im leaving a comment here in hopes i can accept my body one day
You got this 🤍
rooting for you ❤
The '"i tried to be nice to myself and now im 10 pounds heavier than I was 6 months ago" is also my experience. I stopped working out and exercising to focus on Uni and I was being more kind to myself and suddenly i was 20 pounds heavier and really out of shape. It's really hard to find a balance between self-love and kicking your ass out of bed so you dont end up out of shape and unhealthy and a lot bigger and insecure
That king Krabby patty chick is literally my depression demon anthropomorphized.
Skinny absolutely does NOT equal healthy. When i was in high school, i had a pretty bad ED. I was underweight- people congratulated me for being healthy, since i went to the gym a LOT. I was losing hair. I was cold and cranky all the time. All i could think about was food. My head and stomach always hurt. I couldnt think, my grades went down. I quite literally fainted almost daily. Now, according to BMI, im overweight. Im also the healthiest and happiest ive ever been. Im able to go get coffee with friends and not have a panic attack about it. I can walk around without passing out. I can eat yummy food and actually enjoy it. I can work out for the joy of moving my body and feeling strong, not just driven by fear and shame. I promise you recovery is possible and absolutely worth it- you're so beautiful, no matter what weight you are, and there is SO much more to life than a number on a scale.
Good for you!!!💗💗yayyyyy!!🎉🎉🎉
I wish someone would tell doctors this! So many times a doctor will say “just eat less” when I barely eat as it is 🤬 I had ED when I was younger and the more I hear doctors telling me to eat less and lose weight the more it keeps making my ED habits creep back up 😩
I was literary at my most miserable at 15/16 y.o. while trying to get as skinny as those tumblr girls but I was never meant to look like that
I found true peace with my body only around 2-3 years because I started doing crossfit. Now I can rep deadlift more than my bodyweight and be like "hell yeah"
The fact that the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is making a comeback is nauseating
And about worst fear: as a Ukrainian woman I'm afraid of being killed by a missile or a drone in my sleep or just while walking outside in broad daylight. But yeah, maybe "being fat" should be added to the list as well
That girl at 9:57 gave such an important message EVERYONE talks about always feeling cold or not having enough energy. Maybe they’ll talk about skipping social gatherings to stay thin. I very VERY rarely see anyone talk about the health complications with rashes or chest pain. No one talk about the insomnia. No one talks about eating food out of the trash because why would they? It’s disgusting. It’s not pretty and it’s embarrassing as hell. But I think by leaving that out of the conversation we miss out on helping people heal themselves before they get in so deep they can’t get out
I have the exact body type the women in these TikToks so desperately want because I'm chronically ill. I am not healthy. I can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I ran less than a block a few weeks ago and nearly blacked out because of the exertion. If I could snap my fingers and be magically healthy for the trade-off of gaining twenty or thirty pounds, I would take it in a heartbeat. It infuriates me to see people who are healthy, whose bodies work like they should, intentionally try to get to a place where they'll feel like I do most of the time because of vanity and encourage their massive followings to do the same.
Thank you for making this video and speaking on this. I was on Tumblr all through the big ED era and the last thing I want is to see it happen all over again.
I've struggled with an ed since middle school. I was the only girl who wasn't super skinny and stuff. So I would straight up not eat and worse until my mom caught me in 8th grade. It's not something you can just get out of though. And when things get tense I still find myself slipping into old habits and problematic ideas. I don't wish this on anyone. It would help your perception or health. Please don't hurt yourself for what trends say is better
@@maka8746 I'm so sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey ❤️
As a dietitian, I could not be more proud that people in my field are the biggest thorn in these people's sides
i’ve struggled with an eating disorder since i was in elementary. i am 25. it doesn’t go away, i am still struggling. and it can’t go away until you want help, unfortunately i am not at that point that i am ready to recover. i can’t leave my house when i perceive myself “too big”. i can’t even socialize correctly cause i’m too worried about how i look. the food obsession. the way my entire day is ruined when i eat the “wrong” thing. not allowing my boyfriend to hold me because i feel too “fat’. this is so dangerous. it’s a legit mental health issue, and the fact that they’re pushing it is so disgusting. would you tell someone how to be depressed? how to be anxious? NO. SO WHY ARE WE DOING THIS??? SOCIETY NEEDS TO BE BETTER
Im sorry I hope you heal! 💗
As someone who fell into disordered eating, excessive exercise and self hate talk in late 2020, and it went on for around a year, perhaps 2. Im 5ft 2 and i lost almost 20 lbs in 6 months... i look at that now, as someone who was on the cusp of overweight, and i ended underweight, its scary how prevalent this is. I consider myself in recovery at the moment, but it still rears its head sometimes. I have to actively fight it still.
The "lose 10 lbs" stuff is the difference between being healthy and being underweight for some people. Scary scary scary
One of the best pieces of advice we had ever gotten was "if your craving a food, then you probably need it"and its helped us so much more than any diet trend or anything that these people claim will 'make you healthy' and its honestly true, our bodies know what we need more than we think. If your craving salty foods you probably need salt, craving sugary foods you probably need sugar. our bodies are never the same and we should treat them with that understanding. Diet culture is built on a "one for all" idea which isn't true at all.
i grew up as an overweight kid and development an ed at a very young age, now im a constant cycle of eating healthy for a few months, and barely eating, but honestly the disordered thoughts are almost always there and i appreciate seeing people talk about this because so many women of all ages know how horrible it feels constantly worrying about how much u ate or how your body looks like, i really wish that we shut down the "heroin skinny" era that is starting as soon as possible
This second girl at 5:30 has wicked annoying fillers. I can't stop staring
The nonsense of being skinny is healthy is so dangerous.
I'm tiny. Not by choice, not from disordered eating, but for medical reasons. The comments I get are horrendous, people who want to praise me for being so unhealthily 'skinny' terrifies me for younger women and girls and those with eating disorders who are struggling.
We should absolutely always and only be focused on being healthy, which is going to be a different size and shape for every person. The fact that we come in all shapes and sizes is one of the most beautiful, amazing wonders of the world. Of life.
I promise you that your beauty, your worth, your value is not at all affected or impacted by your physical appearance. I don't need to see a single person reading this comment to know without a shadow of a doubt that you ALWAYS have been, YOU ARE, and you ALWAYS will be completely and totally deserving and worthy of love, respect, kindness, joy, happiness, EVERY SINGKE GOOD THING. Always, always, always!! And I know that because you are a human being and that is what makes you inherently valuable and worthy. I promise. ❤
i had bulimia for years and have always struggled with restricting and binging and it literally ruined my health. skipping meals inflamed my stomach and now i can’t have a multitude of foods. i have to restrict coffee, soda, and anything else acidic. the pursuit of thinness didn’t give me satisfaction even when i did see results.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey.
Same. It caused me so much shame for years after recovery because it was such a permanent reminder. Wishing you well
I'm recovering from anorexia, I was in a binge cycle for years, I started at 16 because of Tiktok. being skinny is not worth losing your life. My heart muscle was weak, and I was close to getting heart disease, Try to recover, even if it's scary it's worth your life. I didn't gain as much as I thought I would when i recovered, I was scared but more scared of death. Now I'm healthier, and love myself making me lose weight because I enjoy exercising now instead of making it a massive rule. Feel a lot better, look a lot better, still insecure, but slowly learning to love myself and my body. Value yourself, your life. Because you are more valuable than you tell yourself.
I'm the "skinniest" I've ever been because I lost two jobs and fell into a deep depression and relapsed really badly into my ED, I'm also really struggling with chronic illnessness so I've quite literally never felt worse.
But I get more complements now, I get hit on more now. It makes me feel so gross, because to me it is so obvious that I'm sick, but to everyone else I just look good. It's so hard to try and be healthy when people praise you so much more at your absolute worst.
lol women who cant physically protect themselves and can be easily killed seems to be the aesthetic
true, i kinda like looking like a tank (a short one tho) instead of the wind blowing me all the way to China.
I’m a binger and smaller plates do help me visualize proper portions. And starting with protein, then vegetables, then carbs so you get less of a sugar spike. But my problem is eating too much, usually mindlessly, not restricting. I always tell myself I can have more if I’m still hungry but I realize I rarely want more.
bruh i’m twenty yrs old u should know that us young folk grew up on ed twt/tumblr too !! we can’t be playing this oppression olympics game of “u don’t know what it was like !!” esp bc we DO KNOW
Right, ED tumblr was a thing in 2016 and we were 12 by that time. I wasn’t on it but I frequently heard about it.
My page used to be only "Thinspo" ... breaks my heart that at 11yo I was spending HOURS looking up "how to skip meals without parents noticing" and "What gum makes you feel full"
It’s important to NOT live in extremes.
I have always been a bit overweight at the very least and it's bothered me. I was a teen in the early-mid 2000s so being 140 pounds I was considered a disgusting pig. I wish I had appreciated my body more then, because I ended up getting to 255 pounds at my heaviest where I was miserable and so unhealthy. I have lost 50 pounds over the last seven months and it's the first time I have ever done it in a healthy way. My husband (who has also had weight issues his whole life) and I have been going to the gym, going for nice long walks in the park, drinking more water and cutting back on foods we were consuming too much of. We still get to have pizza, soda, birthday cake, etc. We're also learning to stop talking down to ourselves and being mean, because that just made us hate ourselves. We're learning to be proud of things like having improved blood work and being able to do physical activity without feeling tired constantly. Pretty soon we're going to start weight training which is scary but exciting! I can't wait to be able to have upper arm strength for pretty much the first time ever. Lol.
That's so exciting! Congratulations and good luck to both of you ❤️
This video is incredible! From thesis to conclusion, from the provided media examples to your excellent sources, and then to share your own personal familiarity… Well done, and thank you for this. ED language and rhetoric has poisoned generations and generations of individuals… including myself. I (23yo) very recently started therapy for unlearning restrictive eating patterns. Your poignant yet concise words reflect how I’ve always thought everyone deserves to accept and treat their bodies, and it reflects the mindset I want to have for myself. So when I watch videos like this, I feel like I’m brought back down to earth. It is a call to come home- to listen and reconnect with my body. Thank you for providing me with a bit more courage to grow ❤
@@sophiacorrao5215 thank you so much 😭 this is the nicest comment ever. I super appreciate it
HOLY CRAP. Just started this, I'm an adult male with a metabolism that's been trying to kill me most of my life, but I have 2 younger sisters that have had to live through this and 2 nieces that are going to have to grow up through this crap. Mental health IS HEALTH. Got a meta like this and we can't provide therapy? This is a mental contagion that is being glorified. If you're not overtaxing your heart or lungs, don't overtax your brain.
It’s very unfortunate but when I was sick I would have hated everything you said. Now I’m recovered (99%) from AN this message is SO important. I don’t know how to bridge that gap :( diet culture is toxic and I wish we could all do away with it :(