The worst part about hearing all this, is how rare it is for a child to finally have the strength to face the truth and reach out to their alienated parent, Perhaps only 1 in 10 children make it out. I am so sad for all the children' who will never know their actual loving parent that they never got to know.
You have done wonders for Alienated parents, confirmation on what we already suspect and the hope for our child to see the truth. Thank you so much, you are a uplifting individual.
You're so kind!! I just want other adult children to figure it out because my life has gone from one miserable trauma after trauma to wonderful, meaningful, and beautiful from discovering the truth.
❤I agree, the truth turns the key 🔑 set$ you free,🎉4+4=8_indeed❤ Thoughts & Words & Act do match_ SELF & OTHERS t00 connect & HAVE integrity. . .H0WS THAT! ❤in house, on streets & in. . . . the community ❤value we D0_ see❤ A Poem by Me ❤❤❤❤❤GOOD JOB Maddy ❤
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectcan you make a video about That? 🙏🏼 So the other adult children see the light at the end of the tunnel? Bc it’s a major trauma for you/them to learn they were abused and that it was intentional. Wouldn’t want that new trauma to push any over that 30% edge you mentioned in another video. I’m so happy you’re reunited with your dad. I realize now that my mother attempted to do the same thing w my dad and it ruined how I thought of and saw him. I finally told her once to stop talking bad about my father (I was moved out already at 19) that if she didn’t have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all.
I'm sorry you had to experience all this. Thank you for taking your time and making the video. It is a brave thing to do speak out. You don't know how crucial it is for alienated parents to see and hear the point of view of an alienated child. You give us all hope and going forward we can prove that this is child abuse. @pa.awareness
Us too. She is 19 and I feel like she’s needs to be ready accept it and I know she’s not there, not sure she will ever be . She is the golden child of her mom and her moms emotional support in all ways. I’m not sure she has a clue who she really is just that she is whoever her mom wants her to be. It is so heartbreaking. I feel for her and all the time and relationships she now does not have with her dad and extended family members just because of her mom’s selfishness. Thank you for posting videos like this. I have been searching for videos like this for about 7 years now. I wanted to better understand how and what the alienated kids were feeling from their perspective and I feel you are doing a good job explaining it. So thank you! I think you are helping us to understand what parent alienation is it effects everyone. I’m sorry you had to go through all that but maybe the reason why is so you could help others that are dealing with it.
Same here; it's been going on right after the divorce when she was 12. Now 10 years later I am dead to her and she will call the police if I try to contacte her. Is that her or her mom talking?
I'm soo sorry our futures as parents have been taken away by the Devil. At a point I asked God why?! Our children were supposed to be blessings not curses why allow them into this world to be raised by satan?!@@eruijtenbeek7090
She will eventually. I was an alienated child and when she is safe and not caught in manipulations or When she starts getting into her own space and life and has had time to just even have her mind have a break from the constant pitter patter of people putting things in her face..... She will start seeing things differently. It may not be tomorrow but just make sure that you are the last one standing. It will happen more likely than it not happening. I was an alienated child and I am a targeted parent and my father was the targeted parent. Your daughter is not afraid of you. Most likely..... That's the difference between you and where she is. The targeting parents make the kids feel guilty for not being all about being loyal to that targeting parent. I know. Just keep building a good life for yourself and taking care of yourself and doing things to heal yourself and being a good role model and eventually she will make up her own mind and if she has no reason to continue rejecting you, she has no reason to continue rejecting you. My heart goes out to you and everyone, kids and parents alike. We all deserve better and we all deserve to be more respected and valued by people that we have loved
Your story is a lot like mine! I stopped talking to my dad around the age of 16 because my mom convinced me he was trying to hurt me and never loved me. She told the same awful stories over and over again up until last year when my sister and I finally figured out the truth at the age of 45. I lost all that time with not only my dad, but also my half brother and sister who I never met until last year. They are both in their 20s. It’s completely devastating and I now realize how much damage my mom has done to all of us. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps us feel like we’re not alone in all this, and that unfortunately parental alienation is real. All the good memories of my dad have been completely erased, I can’t remember anything. I feel like I have amnesia and I’ll never get my real memories back.
Oh my gosh. Reading that just gave me chills. I can relate so much to that last two lines. I haven't actually spoken with another adult child, yet, and I'd love to talk to you or interview you. I think it could be amazing. I'm so, so sorry for all of your suffering. Please contact me if you're interested in connecting :)
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject sure! I would be willing to tell you about my story. I think it would be good to talk to someone who has also been through this. It was like my life was flipped upside down in one day, and I’ve been dealing with all the emotions for a year now. I’m out of town this weekend but maybe we can setup a time to talk sometime next week?
I'm so sorry this happened to you too, and glad you are recovering. It took me a very long time to figure it out too, not until it also happened to me as a parent as well. From my experience, it is mind blowing, a very difficult thing to come to terms with, and recovery does happen. It can take time. One thing I would say that helps is accepting the past to let it go and to move forward in the present and into your future with your recovering relationships. Forgive yourself for sure, and if you can, the person or people who abused you. But it is not required. Nothing is. This is your new fabulous life! Embrace it.
Im actually getting excited listening to you. I hope my son goes into detective mode. I hope you keep up with the videos. Ive got so many questions for you...
This makes me so happy!! I'm actually doing a Q & A video next, so I'm making a post in a minute where you can leave any questions you have. Thanks for your support:)
Thank you for being so incredibly open - you really are changing lives ❤ There are very few posts/videos I’ve seen from adult children who have been alienated. I agree with your family members when you asked why they didn’t try to help you - it’s because of the fear that your mom would’ve totally kept you away. I attempted to “save my sister” / (save the situation) in late 2021 prior to me knowing what parental alienation & narcissism is. I sent a group text to my dad, siblings, & the pathological parent (their mom) very calmly asking her to please stop berating our dad & to please try to unify for the kids’ sake. At least be civil. (She wanted the divorce & moved on quickly with a new bf). She told me if I kept texting I would be blocked from my siblings’ phones. I also agree with you regarding the cracks. I have actually been documenting every single lie, abusive text, etc since the alienation began. That’s 3 years & over 300 typed pages on Word so if my siblings ever have questions I have all the proof. I’ve never said a bad word about their mom to them because I’m trying to not hurt them. If only they knew what she’s said & done… Question for you: I’ve read that it’s not good for the alienated child if they see you post about alienation. Do you agree with that? I’m connected to my siblings on Instagram & I posted about it last year in hopes my sister would realize what’s happening. Even if she does know, I do think she fears her mom’s consequences if she were to come back to me & my dad. Thank you for any insight!!!
Your courage to share your experience is admiring. Thank you for your efforts to create awareness and enjoy your parenthood, which is one the most rewarding and challenging experiences.
I am just discovering your videos. From a father whose daughter tells him she never wants to see him again and believes her mum's twisted reality, thank you for sharing this. It's good to know there is some hope. The cracks in her mum's reality seem so big to me that I struggle to see how my daughter will go on not seeing them for much longer. But manipulation is a complex beast. I'm glad you figured it out. Enjoy your dad, show him love daily--he forgives you and he understands.
Stay strong Brother, you are not alone. I am also a father suffering parental alienation for 10 years now. Don’t give up, stay strong and surround yourself with people that understand your process, most people won’t understand be patient and be very selective. Over all remember to Love and accept your children it’s not their fault. And always focus on quality time, organize your agenda around your kids when they are with you, they need rescuing Love.
My heart broke listening to this. I've been alienated from my five kids for just over a year now. My wife (remarried, my kids' stepmom) did EVERYTHING for years to parent them well, never dig on my ex/their mom. It's been excruciating to keep the boundaries they've set and lovingly wait for them to come to the realization of what's really happened. Same as you, one of my children wrote a list of her grievances against me. A few of the things were very minor (like being selfish with asking too often to play board games with her), and one was a false allegation of abuse (not one of her own experiences, but an experience that her mom said I did to their younger sisters--ones that even her sisters never expressed to me, family, or therapists). I can't imagine waiting 20 years for them to come back around, but I will. Your story gives me some hope because there are so many similarities.
Thank you for speaking out sweetheart! 💕 Your story is exactly what has happened to me. An extremely abusive man effectly stole my child and used the legal realm to help him achieve his control. You and all the other alienated children are the voices my son deserves because he's still little and doesn't have one yet. I will never give up. I will never stop loving him. I will never blame him. He's my sunshine and every day without him is torture. Purposeful torture. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking out about parental alienation abuse. Our children deserve a voice. These are easily identifiable patterns of extremely abusive people. Nothing was your fault, baby. Nothing.
I am so honored to have you on the battlefield with those of us who have been speaking up and coming forward with the truth about this malignant form of child abuse. I am here with you and for you. I have been on this journey since I was 5 and fully alienated when I was 11, with the same narrative with DV from my mom, the list of abuse, and much like you I could go on and on. looooooong list. I LOVE you, and you are a beautiful soul. Your dad loves you, and the deepest truth is you have always been bonded with your dad and loved. I am sickened by your experience and so sad that this continues to happen and this happened to you.
You are so sweet!!! Thank you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this too 😢😭 I’m honored that you find my channel helpful. Thanks for your support :)
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject Just illuminating the truth. It really takes an army of us to shine the light into the darkest places of our family to end the suffering for everyone.
Madi, I think you can see by all the responses just HOW much GOOD your work is doing!! Parental alienation is such a lose/lose thing! You lost years with your dad, your dad lost years with you and now your mom loses because you've discovered her horrible secret and know she lied all those years. I'm an alienated grandmother and you absolutely spoke words of hope to me in this video! I am going through the court system to try to see my 6 year old granddaughter who lives in a very chaotic yet isolated world! Sometimes it gets very discouraging because everything takes so long. My own daughter is the alienator. I have been praying for discernment as to whether to back off or keep fighting. When you said in this video you asked your grandmother why she didnt do anything to help you, there was my answer, KEEP FIGHTING! Please keep doing the work youve been given to do! Maybe with your help laws can be changed, and precious time will not be lost!❤
Thank you for doing your videos. They may not resolve everyone’s personal situation but they give hope and an insight into what our children have been dealing with.
What was your Dad's delivery like when he answered your questions? Is being calm better? Did he just let you ask the questions and he gave short sharp answers? When my kid comes looking for answers i dont want to f*ck it up.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject what do we say when kids ask questions? "Why didn't you ever come to see me" is a loaded question for my husband and we arent sure how to answer this to his sons who are now pre teens. They are at an age where they are curious but also we don't want to cause more damage to them by being *too* honest. Usually we say "we wanted to. We can talk about it more when you are older" bc we arent sure how to navigate this
The fact that you just only learned of your parental alienation at 28 years old AND after children is very daunting to me! I'm in fear that this may be my daughter and that's just not ok. The alienation started for her at 12 years old she's already been alienated for 4 years she'll be 16 next month the 4th birthday that I'll have missed. I couldn't imagine God not opening her discernment, truth and light for another 12 years 😰 I'm a mother so the roles of the alienating parent are reversed.
I’m in your exact situation. My eldest daughter will be 16 in June. No words am describe the pain and depth of loss we feel. This family court should not rely on mere words from a person in a custody battle as facts. Critical thinking and research is needed. It has to change. Thankfully my children do want to be with me. .. but he (my former domestic batterer) is gatekeeping and blocking contact.
it's devastating. I'm a father if you can call me like this. I gave so much attention to my daughter from day she been born to when she been almost 7. She's 13 now , I cannot imagine going another 10 to 15 years like this. The worst is when you trying to connect and they pushing you away. I can sense the alienator is ruin my daughter brain which has more negative impact on me. Every time we have great time with each other , the very next meeting is 360 without any justification. All special days looks more like punishment rather than celebration😢.
It almost happened to my son....it lasted for 6 months and then he came running back begging to stay with me forever. I thank God every day that it clicked so soon for him. I don't know how I would have survived what your father did. He's a good man.
We are recently experiencing this with my daughter. Already 5 months and it’s not getting better. What did you do during those 6 months ? Did you gave him space or what do you do for him to realize ?
Oh my gosh this is powerful. I know this is just scratching the surface here, but your insights are fascinating. I’m sorry this all happened to you and you had to detective on your own…but thank you for sharing what you have gone through so far.
Madison . . . . you truly are an independent thinker. I'm very impressed with the woman you are. I hope one day my daughter will come to realize the truth. I'm 77 . . . so hopefully she will not take too many more years.
Hi. Just discovered you. Amazing. Lost 2 daughters. Very severe 12 year old case. 1000nds of ideas and questions. But take the most important one. If I manage to get a link to my kids with your video to see - which one is best to start with , and then in what order. Thanks a lot. I hope my older daughter starts a detective work like you did.
Magnus, unfortunately they would most likely not believe it even if you showed them. I am in the same boat as you, except I have twin boys who are 18 and just officially have “free will”. The bond with the controller is sometimes so strong, that they will remain “loyal” even though they know deep down the other parent is the sane one. One of my boys is awake (and spends time with both parents), the other who is slightly less emotionally mature can not break the bond with his captor.
My youngest just turned 18 and moved in full time with his dad, who has now alienated all 3 of our kids. He has all the money (I worked 2 jobs when he was in graduate school, then stayed home with our kids so he could work 14 hours a day to start a business) and now I am a terrible person and he takes them on trips all over the world. I wanted to go on family trips like he takes, now. I feel like I was just an employee and when everyone was old enough to take care of themselves, I was let go. It's been really difficult to want to carry on. It's been a shock to my whole existence.
Once again, a very rewarding video för me. In retrospect, could your dad have said or done anything during all these years to get you to come to clarity sooner? Were there anything you secrectly longed for from him? As an alienated father, it is so difficult see your child in this state of mind.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectplease do! I’m in reunification therapy with mine, 14 and 18 and I just don’t know what to say to them or what they secretly need from me that I’m doing doing. They hate me and I just cannot fathom why when our relationship was so good
Reading through the comments someone suggested you should try to forgive your abuser. I'm not responding to that commenter directly because I'm not trying to cause negativity or an argument or harm. I am actually confused and asking if my reaction needs to be corrected/adjusted if necessary. I do not understand in the slightest why you would forgive someone for abusing you, particularly if they are not seeking forgiveness and are continuing to try and maintain the lies, continuing to maintain the abuse for their own selfishness, which is a overly simplistic but easier way to describe their motivation. I am the targeted parent(for clarity) but I have watched my child withdrawal, shrink, lose confidence and more. Moved schools 2 years in a row for no good reason. To be put on psychoactive drugs like there is something wrong with them after I used the only leverage I had left to ask that the child see a counselor the last time I was sued for custody, knowing I couldn't win. I didn't fight back so that was my request to avoid an unwinnable fight that would only cause my child more stress. According to my child they went twice and the counselor said she couldn't see her anymore because she wasn't talking enough. Sound like something a counselor would say to anyone? So straight to drugs for a child that has just reached double digit age. Forgive the abuser? When I saw that I really twitched, maybe someone could help me understand, because I just don't. I'm sorry if I'm way off, seeing someone like you do this has been a gift and I am extremely grateful. For the first time I can imagine that my child might find someone like you or you and realize that it's not their fault in anyway. I can already see so many of the negative affects this situation causes and have so much fear for the life long consequences this type of treatment causes in adulthood. Sorry, i said way more than I intended to and at the same time left out so much. Thank you so much for putting yourself out in the open like this for the good of helping others like yourself, you have given me hope for her, that is priceless. I can't imagine what this is like for you but as I watch more it looks like you have found at least one way to cope that is helping you and others. Sorry, really poorly written, I'm kinda irritated i guess.
I will NEVER forgive my ex for nearly destroying my son and me. I will continue with therapy,,get my son and I all the help I can (6 years after winning him back), try to deal with the deep hatred and anger I have so I can heal with my son, who is depressed, confused can barely function. It makes me angry when people say forgiveness is divine. No, it changes nothing. It doesn't help us "move on".
As a mama, who is alienated from my oldest son, my heart is broken for you. As happy as I am for you to reconcile with your father, it’s a lose lose because you realize the abuse that your other parent did. I hold onto the hope of reconciliation for my son And I worry about him caring all the regret of how he’s treated me and how much years he’s lost we both lost. I wish I could take that away from him and it’s heartbreaking. Nobody wins with this type of abuse..
Thank you for sharing that. I think that you were lucky enough to uncover a couple of big lies that couldn't be overlooked. However, I suspect that in the general case there are just thousands of little lies and huge distortions. All with some kernel of truth. This is much harder to see through and explains why most children never see through it. So you were lucky enough that your alienator was not so expert and made the mistake of telling some big lies and getting into whatever it was with a priest. Please keep up the good work.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject They’re really great. I did the same. I’ve done a video based on your findings that there are grounds and a precedent for prosecution for PA. Especially in your case. English Law obviously different from Utah, but if your problems stemmed from a false allegation of dv then in your type of situation it might be possible to prosecute for perjury. That’s why I was hoping we can talk. I would love to collaborate with you.
I want you to know that you are an angel in a time in my life , a couple of nights ago I asked my guides, my God, to send me send me some kind of a sign on how to get through to my children . I’m having an emergency meeting with them bc my youngest suddenly got this idea that I physically abused her…it came out of no where and she is my youngest. I have 4 kids and it’s been so so hard,,I can’t imagine what they have also been through..it’s all coming to a head and then suddenly this thing about me physically abusing my youngest came from nowhere..I know it’s just a tactic that their father is using bc they are getting too close to me for the first time in years. I’m going to let them watch this video idk about my 2 younger ones but my 19 year old girls will watch this thanks for being a light in darkness I’m sorry you had to go through this but just look what your doing with it you know no one knows about PA plz keep spreading awareness!
Dear Madi, I'm a father and have been alienated from my 3 daughters for 14 years now, and who are now in their late 20s and early 30s, possibly about your age. You are very brave and intelligent, and you remind me very much of one of my daughters who has started to become aware, but is not broken free yet. Your experience shared here has been incredibly valuable to me and so many in our situation. If I may offer a bit of advice that I also hope will be valuable to you and other children caught in this issue, it is that, I hope you will also have compassion for your mother as well, and see her behavior as a result of some problem she may also have grown up with. I believe that for many who practice alienation, their behavior may be a way of getting loved to make up for some lack in their own upbringing, and by jealously 'possessing' their children's love, they might find the affirmation and value in themselves they may have missed as children. Throughout my own estrangement, I've tried to remember the love I always have for the woman I married, as well as the mother and person who gave me my 3 other great loves, namely my daughters. I think I'm saying that, though we know someone's faults, we should also forgive them and have compassion since in their own way they're also suffering. If you can forgive your mom while also loving your dad, I think you'll gain the expansive meaning of love that is what life and goodness has to teach all of us, because love and real unconditional love has no limits. We all have to work on that, and there are times when I'm angry, alone, and sad about what my wife has done, but when I remember my love and compassion for her, I can then remember that I would never had my particular 3 beautiful daughters in this world had I chose anyone else, so I have good reason to chose to try to understand my situation and never regret the woman I married. I've seen anger and regret in my own family members or siblings, that seemed to poison their lives and hold them back from growing and really having a great life. Know the wrongs, but be compassionate to yourself and your mom as much as possible. I don't have my girls back yet, but you've let some light into my world and made it better, just as if you were my own daughter. Thank you, dear, and always love and happiness to you and yours.
thank you for saying all of this. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. I appreciate your support :) and thank you for the reminder about remembering her pain. I have forgiven my mom.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject Yes! It is not save to have a Relationship with her, its impossible once u found out, it would not make sense and be zero constructive for your life. The Same it makes no sense for us dads to have a relationship or communication with them, they would never hold them word, any agreement or be accountable for anything. my older Stepdaughter is doing fine, since she went no contact with her narcissistic mother. There is pain and struggle for everyone that experienced that form of horrible abuse, and we can only heal if we are completely no contact. Thats not a question of forgiveness, how u can forgive someone something that will never be able to admit or see and instead just keep on moving on and changing narratives with the new surrounding.
I won 50/50 custody despite the false abuse charges and restraining order. I try daily during my parenting time to ensure my daughter understands how much her daddy loves her. Honestly it’s no different than before. I’m just a father who never wanted my kids to not feel loved. I know that my narcissist ex is trying to destroy my relationship with my princess.
I was scapegoated in my family of origin, so when my spouse began to alienate our daughter from me, it felt "normal," even though it hurt, and I knew it was wrong. It took many years for me to understand what was really happening, and the picture did not come together until after my divorce from my abusive ex was finalized, and our child began to tell me what she had experienced with her father behind my back. She had turned her back on him after he and I separated because he was so desperately trying to buy her favor. Of course, he accused me of parental alienation during the divorce. There is no reciprocity to be had with certain people.
Sometimes alienated parents don't live long enough for the child to figure it out. Some parents take their own lives from the grief. From the poverty of fighting useless court battles. Other family menbers help the real toxic parent to keep reinforcing the rewritten history to the child. You're kucky your dad was still alive, rhat yiur grandma and aunt were still in your life. Many times there is no one left who will tell you the truth. And what hope do those parents have? What chance their children will ever figure it out? The alienators turn everyone in the childs life against the targeted parent.
thats my case & i wonder daily if its better if i just go away and they never find out the truth...thats why i never wrote it down or did a blog, because chances are they wont have any reason or need to contact & talk to me & probably never see any value in me, so they will never know anything different than whatever it is he has constructed for them...honestly, i really struggle with the necessity of them finding out and them having to deal with all those issues and the loss of both parents not just one that was pretty easy to replace for the most part...i really really have struggled with that for the past 10 years & tbh that is the one thing that time has influence my thinking about...the longer i am absent the less and less i think my presence will be of any benefit or positive additions for them & i think the negatives increase and become more sever and harder to deal with...and i say this with all honesty and much thought & consideration given to them & their experiences & not from my own personal feelings & sorrow & loss.
8 місяців тому+2
I am so scared to have to wait that long. I am hanging on by a thread
I understand alienation and lots of families never recognise their brother, sister, son or daughter in images on t.v as there is another name for them, age, look and people posing as family with false names etc. It's very difficult for victims if it's played on media because calling tv studios and complaining does not get far, if the people committed to it sneak around the victim it becomes harder again. The worst case scenario is the alienators being law enforcement and their group who bully people around the alienated victim who call about the problem. Reverse blogs and social sites with a link to articles or videos showing the opposite evidence can help you and ultimately false names alienators use prevent them from continuing when intervened on correctly.
It wasn't actually your decision. You were just made to believe it was your decision at nine years old. So hopefully knowing this will help with any lingering feelings of guilt or shame...
I’m sorry! It’s my way to lighten the mood. I have a dark sense of humor! Sometimes it helps me cope. But I can understand how not everyone will like my style.
You'll never get the truth from the alienator. Alienators only care about themselves and no one else. Targeted parents are what the child needs to be around and only the targeted parent. I totally support the child or adult child cutting ties with the alienator for good. Get away and never look back.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject I'm hoping that my daughter is ready to make the move for the better by coming to seek me out and come to a real home that has unconditional love & respect. She'll be 18 in a few weeks and then she can do whatever she wants. It may take a little more time but I really hope for her she comes my way any day now.
I agree, the alienator parent is deliberately harming their children. They should never have had custody with that kind of mindset. Alienators are basically sociopaths. No child once they find out who has abused them should go back. That is called Stockholm syndrome.
Damn... No wonder most alienated children will never reunite with their fathers. I mean, holy cow... it's nothing short of a miracle every time it does happen
I think that for family members to have tried to tell you would have risked your emotional collapse as a child, your loyalty was to your primary caregiver, waiting for you to eventually see the truth was the only way. For you to possibly begin being ready to deal with this it had to come from your willing it, if they had tried it would have forced you to choose sides and you would have drawn closer to your abuser. My step son has been moved away from his father, a common move to retain total control. We feel our version of events would destroy him as he is Enmeshed totally in his mothers life. I believe he has Attachment issues now due to believing he was abandoned. He is 23 now, we don't expect things to change.
I might be mistaken here, but it seems that you feel guilty for your actions when you were a child. I know you know this already, but it wasn't your fault. You were abused. You can't be held responsible for decisions you made as a child and even as a teenager resulting in the actions of an alienating parent. Sharing your experience is helping me tremendously as of 52-year-old father of five. Thank you so much. 🙏
So now that I’ve watched a few of your videos, I think the difference between your experience and my son’s is that you choose to alienate yourself from your father and that’s how and why it was, for a lack of better word, ‘easier’, to come to the conclusion that you had been lied to and taken advantage of for years. It sounds like your mother took advantage of a decision you made. Outside of a few photos, my son and I went from almost 6 y/o to almost 18 without seeing each other no phone calls no texts no letters no contact at all. I was completely cut out of his life. And I think that’s why although now knowing all the facts, he still doesn’t want to accept the very obvious truth…. that he and I had regular contact the first almost 6 years of his life. His mother out of the blue cut me out for no justifiable reason. The decision had been made for him.
thats exactly what my ex did to me and my kids, they all are over 18 and still do not want any contact or any type of contact with me. i am sure it is soooo much better and easier and they have already processed through the loss and mourning and are at a functional acceptance of only having one parent in their lives...why would they want to unset that level of homeostasis they function in, what are the benefits in changing things, and i am sure they have a good idea about what costs and losses my presence/inclusion will to bring them... sooooo time just seems to help confirm their choice to live like the reality is i am not living...heck i am pretty sure i would do them same thing under those circumstances & conditions & if i was any of the the 4 of them... dont fault or negatively judge any of the 4 of them in the least off bits.
Do children imitate the parent they trust, as you say? Or do they imitate the parent they identify with? Or, the parent who is the one who provides safety and shelter? Psychologists explain that, many times, the alienated parent is actually the one whose love is secure - the one who CAN be trusted is alienated. Children cater to the parent whose love is not secure.
Sorry if this has been asked, but were your brothers alienated against their dad or just you? Also, do you have any relationship with your mother now? ❤
I can see a child who is alienated choosing a partner unconsciously like their alienating parent. Then in the future they are alienated form their children as well. Will you please make it so your videos can be "clipped?" I think a sound bite would be easier to send to an alienated kid than a whole video.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject hi, thank you for your response. I’m not sure why your videos appeared in my feed but has been interesting to see something I was peripherally aware of but from the child’s perspective. It looks like you are looking to raise awareness of the issue and I applaud your efforts. I did ask a couple of questions in some of your other videos for the sake of trying to increase my knowledge. I apologise in advance, I’m a data analyst and tend to lean toward numbers to try and place any knowledge I acquire in context. Keep up the good work.
The worst part about hearing all this, is how rare it is for a child to finally have the strength to face the truth and reach out to their alienated parent, Perhaps only 1 in 10 children make it out. I am so sad for all the children' who will never know their actual loving parent that they never got to know.
I know, heartbroken and in fear:(
I am so sad for all the parents who did nothing wrong but get a divorce and lose their child as well.
You have done wonders for Alienated parents, confirmation on what we already suspect and the hope for our child to see the truth. Thank you so much, you are a uplifting individual.
You're so kind!! I just want other adult children to figure it out because my life has gone from one miserable trauma after trauma to wonderful, meaningful, and beautiful from discovering the truth.
❤I agree,
the truth turns the key 🔑
set$ you free,🎉4+4=8_indeed❤
Thoughts & Words & Act do match_
SELF & OTHERS t00 connect & HAVE integrity. . .H0WS THAT!
❤in house, on streets & in. . . .
the community ❤value we D0_ see❤
A Poem by Me
❤❤❤❤❤GOOD JOB Maddy ❤
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectcan you make a video about That?
🙏🏼
So the other adult children see the light at the end of the tunnel? Bc it’s a major trauma for you/them to learn they were abused and that it was intentional.
Wouldn’t want that new trauma to push any over that 30% edge you mentioned in another video.
I’m so happy you’re reunited with your dad.
I realize now that my mother attempted to do the same thing w my dad and it ruined how I thought of and saw him.
I finally told her once to stop talking bad about my father (I was moved out already at 19) that if she didn’t have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all.
I'm sorry you had to experience all this. Thank you for taking your time and making the video. It is a brave thing to do speak out. You don't know how crucial it is for alienated parents to see and hear the point of view of an alienated child. You give us all hope and going forward we can prove that this is child abuse. @pa.awareness
thank you for your sweet comment & your support. It means so much!
My daughter so much needs to see this. But, will she believe that it happened to her? Thank you for this video and opening your heart to us out here.
Mine too, ours was opposite she was alienated from me her Mom
Us too. She is 19 and I feel like she’s needs to be ready accept it and I know she’s not there, not sure she will ever be . She is the golden child of her mom and her moms emotional support in all ways. I’m not sure she has a clue who she really is just that she is whoever her mom wants her to be. It is so heartbreaking. I feel for her and all the time and relationships she now does not have with her dad and extended family members just because of her mom’s selfishness. Thank you for posting videos like this. I have been searching for videos like this for about 7 years now. I wanted to better understand how and what the alienated kids were feeling from their perspective and I feel you are doing a good job explaining it. So thank you! I think you are helping us to understand what parent alienation is it effects everyone. I’m sorry you had to go through all that but maybe the reason why is so you could help others that are dealing with it.
Same here; it's been going on right after the divorce when she was 12. Now 10 years later I am dead to her and she will call the police if I try to contacte her. Is that her or her mom talking?
I'm soo sorry our futures as parents have been taken away by the Devil. At a point I asked God why?! Our children were supposed to be blessings not curses why allow them into this world to be raised by satan?!@@eruijtenbeek7090
She will eventually. I was an alienated child and when she is safe and not caught in manipulations or When she starts getting into her own space and life and has had time to just even have her mind have a break from the constant pitter patter of people putting things in her face..... She will start seeing things differently. It may not be tomorrow but just make sure that you are the last one standing. It will happen more likely than it not happening. I was an alienated child and I am a targeted parent and my father was the targeted parent. Your daughter is not afraid of you. Most likely..... That's the difference between you and where she is. The targeting parents make the kids feel guilty for not being all about being loyal to that targeting parent. I know. Just keep building a good life for yourself and taking care of yourself and doing things to heal yourself and being a good role model and eventually she will make up her own mind and if she has no reason to continue rejecting you, she has no reason to continue rejecting you. My heart goes out to you and everyone, kids and parents alike. We all deserve better and we all deserve to be more respected and valued by people that we have loved
Your story is a lot like mine! I stopped talking to my dad around the age of 16 because my mom convinced me he was trying to hurt me and never loved me. She told the same awful stories over and over again up until last year when my sister and I finally figured out the truth at the age of 45. I lost all that time with not only my dad, but also my half brother and sister who I never met until last year. They are both in their 20s. It’s completely devastating and I now realize how much damage my mom has done to all of us. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps us feel like we’re not alone in all this, and that unfortunately parental alienation is real. All the good memories of my dad have been completely erased, I can’t remember anything. I feel like I have amnesia and I’ll never get my real memories back.
Oh my gosh. Reading that just gave me chills. I can relate so much to that last two lines. I haven't actually spoken with another adult child, yet, and I'd love to talk to you or interview you. I think it could be amazing. I'm so, so sorry for all of your suffering. Please contact me if you're interested in connecting :)
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject sure! I would be willing to tell you about my story. I think it would be good to talk to someone who has also been through this. It was like my life was flipped upside down in one day, and I’ve been dealing with all the emotions for a year now. I’m out of town this weekend but maybe we can setup a time to talk sometime next week?
Yes! Can you please message me on instagram with your email address?
@The Anti-Alienation Project just messaged you!
I'm so sorry this happened to you too, and glad you are recovering. It took me a very long time to figure it out too, not until it also happened to me as a parent as well. From my experience, it is mind blowing, a very difficult thing to come to terms with, and recovery does happen. It can take time. One thing I would say that helps is accepting the past to let it go and to move forward in the present and into your future with your recovering relationships. Forgive yourself for sure, and if you can, the person or people who abused you. But it is not required. Nothing is. This is your new fabulous life! Embrace it.
Im actually getting excited listening to you. I hope my son goes into detective mode. I hope you keep up with the videos. Ive got so many questions for you...
This makes me so happy!! I'm actually doing a Q & A video next, so I'm making a post in a minute where you can leave any questions you have. Thanks for your support:)
Your doing a great service expressing your experience and exposing these predators/ narcissists.
Wow! You are such a breath of fresh air! Your potential for battling this insidious disease is off the charts! Keep it up!
Thank you so much!!
Thank you for being so incredibly open - you really are changing lives ❤ There are very few posts/videos I’ve seen from adult children who have been alienated.
I agree with your family members when you asked why they didn’t try to help you - it’s because of the fear that your mom would’ve totally kept you away. I attempted to “save my sister” / (save the situation) in late 2021 prior to me knowing what parental alienation & narcissism is. I sent a group text to my dad, siblings, & the pathological parent (their mom) very calmly asking her to please stop berating our dad & to please try to unify for the kids’ sake. At least be civil. (She wanted the divorce & moved on quickly with a new bf). She told me if I kept texting I would be blocked from my siblings’ phones.
I also agree with you regarding the cracks. I have actually been documenting every single lie, abusive text, etc since the alienation began. That’s 3 years & over 300 typed pages on Word so if my siblings ever have questions I have all the proof. I’ve never said a bad word about their mom to them because I’m trying to not hurt them. If only they knew what she’s said & done…
Question for you: I’ve read that it’s not good for the alienated child if they see you post about alienation. Do you agree with that? I’m connected to my siblings on Instagram & I posted about it last year in hopes my sister would realize what’s happening. Even if she does know, I do think she fears her mom’s consequences if she were to come back to me & my dad. Thank you for any insight!!!
As an alienated mother I can tell you this.
I did not once put any of my 3 children at fault for this.
Who abuses children?
Predators do!
In my experience, this would have never happened to me without the assistance of the family court system. How did this happen to you?
BTW, I believe you.
Family court is code word for " those who profit off abuse of children and youth.
Most likely to traffic to other predators such as pedo files.
I agree!
I agree wholeheartedly 🙏🏽
Your courage to share your experience is admiring. Thank you for your efforts to create awareness and enjoy your parenthood, which is one the most rewarding and challenging experiences.
Thank you so much! I agree 100%. Parenthood is the best thing that ever happened to me. Such a gift.
I am just discovering your videos. From a father whose daughter tells him she never wants to see him again and believes her mum's twisted reality, thank you for sharing this. It's good to know there is some hope. The cracks in her mum's reality seem so big to me that I struggle to see how my daughter will go on not seeing them for much longer. But manipulation is a complex beast. I'm glad you figured it out. Enjoy your dad, show him love daily--he forgives you and he understands.
Stay strong Brother, you are not alone. I am also a father suffering parental alienation for 10 years now. Don’t give up, stay strong and surround yourself with people that understand your process, most people won’t understand be patient and be very selective. Over all remember to Love and accept your children it’s not their fault. And always focus on quality time, organize your agenda around your kids when they are with you, they need rescuing Love.
@@jacobknapp2236 Thanks :)
My heart broke listening to this. I've been alienated from my five kids for just over a year now. My wife (remarried, my kids' stepmom) did EVERYTHING for years to parent them well, never dig on my ex/their mom. It's been excruciating to keep the boundaries they've set and lovingly wait for them to come to the realization of what's really happened.
Same as you, one of my children wrote a list of her grievances against me. A few of the things were very minor (like being selfish with asking too often to play board games with her), and one was a false allegation of abuse (not one of her own experiences, but an experience that her mom said I did to their younger sisters--ones that even her sisters never expressed to me, family, or therapists).
I can't imagine waiting 20 years for them to come back around, but I will. Your story gives me some hope because there are so many similarities.
Thank you for speaking out sweetheart! 💕 Your story is exactly what has happened to me. An extremely abusive man effectly stole my child and used the legal realm to help him achieve his control. You and all the other alienated children are the voices my son deserves because he's still little and doesn't have one yet. I will never give up. I will never stop loving him. I will never blame him. He's my sunshine and every day without him is torture. Purposeful torture. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking out about parental alienation abuse. Our children deserve a voice. These are easily identifiable patterns of extremely abusive people. Nothing was your fault, baby. Nothing.
I am so honored to have you on the battlefield with those of us who have been speaking up and coming forward with the truth about this malignant form of child abuse. I am here with you and for you. I have been on this journey since I was 5 and fully alienated when I was 11, with the same narrative with DV from my mom, the list of abuse, and much like you I could go on and on. looooooong list. I LOVE you, and you are a beautiful soul. Your dad loves you, and the deepest truth is you have always been bonded with your dad and loved. I am sickened by your experience and so sad that this continues to happen and this happened to you.
You are so sweet!!! Thank you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this too 😢😭 I’m honored that you find my channel helpful. Thanks for your support :)
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject Just illuminating the truth. It really takes an army of us to shine the light into the darkest places of our family to end the suffering for everyone.
Madi, I think you can see by all the responses just HOW much GOOD your work is doing!! Parental alienation is such a lose/lose thing! You lost years with your dad, your dad lost years with you and now your mom loses because you've discovered her horrible secret and know she lied all those years. I'm an alienated grandmother and you absolutely spoke words of hope to me in this video! I am going through the court system to try to see my 6 year old granddaughter who lives in a very chaotic yet isolated world! Sometimes it gets very discouraging because everything takes so long. My own daughter is the alienator. I have been praying for discernment as to whether to back off or keep fighting. When you said in this video you asked your grandmother why she didnt do anything to help you, there was my answer, KEEP FIGHTING! Please keep doing the work youve been given to do! Maybe with your help laws can be changed, and precious time will not be lost!❤
Thank you for taking the time to write this. You’re so kind. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Thank you for doing your videos. They may not resolve everyone’s personal situation but they give hope and an insight into what our children have been dealing with.
You are an inspiration. Your story is mine. The alienation is fresh for me, and I’m in Supreme Court. Nobody cares. Everyone protects the alienator
God bless you please continue this as so many are in need of solid info on PA!
What was your Dad's delivery like when he answered your questions? Is being calm better? Did he just let you ask the questions and he gave short sharp answers? When my kid comes looking for answers i dont want to f*ck it up.
That's an AMAZING question. I'm making a Q & A video next, so I'll answer this in the upcoming video. Stay tuned!!
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject what do we say when kids ask questions? "Why didn't you ever come to see me" is a loaded question for my husband and we arent sure how to answer this to his sons who are now pre teens. They are at an age where they are curious but also we don't want to cause more damage to them by being *too* honest. Usually we say "we wanted to. We can talk about it more when you are older" bc we arent sure how to navigate this
The fact that you just only learned of your parental alienation at 28 years old AND after children is very daunting to me! I'm in fear that this may be my daughter and that's just not ok. The alienation started for her at 12 years old she's already been alienated for 4 years she'll be 16 next month the 4th birthday that I'll have missed. I couldn't imagine God not opening her discernment, truth and light for another 12 years 😰 I'm a mother so the roles of the alienating parent are reversed.
The average length of alienation is 20 years :( that’s why I’m so passionate about speaking out and changing this for the next generation of kids
I’m in your exact situation. My eldest daughter will be 16 in June.
No words am describe the pain and depth of loss we feel.
This family court should not rely on mere words from a person in a custody battle as facts.
Critical thinking and research is needed. It has to change.
Thankfully my children do want to be with me. .. but he (my former domestic batterer) is gatekeeping and blocking contact.
it's devastating.
I'm a father if you can call me like this.
I gave so much attention to my daughter from day she been born to when she been almost 7.
She's 13 now , I cannot imagine going another 10 to 15 years like this. The worst is when you trying to connect and they pushing you away.
I can sense the alienator is ruin my daughter brain which has more negative impact on me.
Every time we have great time with each other , the very next meeting is 360 without any justification.
All special days looks more like punishment rather than celebration😢.
It almost happened to my son....it lasted for 6 months and then he came running back begging to stay with me forever. I thank God every day that it clicked so soon for him. I don't know how I would have survived what your father did. He's a good man.
We are recently experiencing this with my daughter. Already 5 months and it’s not getting better. What did you do during those 6 months ? Did you gave him space or what do you do for him to realize ?
Thank you so much for your bravery, compassion and truth. You have helped me to have revived hope in my situation.
Madison,
That's a truely amazing testimony!
I salute you and thank you!
you’re so kind! Thank you :)
Thank you for your honesty.
Oh my gosh this is powerful. I know this is just scratching the surface here, but your insights are fascinating.
I’m sorry this all happened to you and you had to detective on your own…but thank you for sharing what you have gone through so far.
I’m REALLY impressed you figured this out, and brave for pushing through the pain and confusion to find the truth.
Madison . . . . you truly are an independent thinker. I'm very impressed with the woman you are. I hope one day my daughter will come to realize the truth. I'm 77 . . . so hopefully she will not take too many more years.
Thank you, you are so brave young women.
Thank you so much for sharing your message of hope 🙏
Your channel and story is amazing!
Thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi. Just discovered you. Amazing. Lost 2 daughters. Very severe 12 year old case. 1000nds of ideas and questions. But take the most important one. If I manage to get a link to my kids with your video to see - which one is best to start with , and then in what order. Thanks a lot. I hope my older daughter starts a detective work like you did.
Please answer 🙏
Magnus, unfortunately they would most likely not believe it even if you showed them. I am in the same boat as you, except I have twin boys who are 18 and just officially have “free will”. The bond with the controller is sometimes so strong, that they will remain “loyal” even though they know deep down the other parent is the sane one. One of my boys is awake (and spends time with both parents), the other who is slightly less emotionally mature can not break the bond with his captor.
My youngest just turned 18 and moved in full time with his dad, who has now alienated all 3 of our kids. He has all the money (I worked 2 jobs when he was in graduate school, then stayed home with our kids so he could work 14 hours a day to start a business) and now I am a terrible person and he takes them on trips all over the world. I wanted to go on family trips like he takes, now. I feel like I was just an employee and when everyone was old enough to take care of themselves, I was let go.
It's been really difficult to want to carry on. It's been a shock to my whole existence.
Once again, a very rewarding video för me.
In retrospect, could your dad have said or done anything during all these years to get you to come to clarity sooner? Were there anything you secrectly longed for from him?
As an alienated father, it is so difficult see your child in this state of mind.
that's such an awesome question! I think I need to make a video answering that question next.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProjectplease do! I’m in reunification therapy with mine, 14 and 18 and I just don’t know what to say to them or what they secretly need from me that I’m doing doing. They hate me and I just cannot fathom why when our relationship was so good
@@Thepathof77 thank you for the suggestion!! I'll work on a video on this topic. I need to take some time to really think and write about it.
Thank you! This gave me hope.
Reading through the comments someone suggested you should try to forgive your abuser. I'm not responding to that commenter directly because I'm not trying to cause negativity or an argument or harm. I am actually confused and asking if my reaction needs to be corrected/adjusted if necessary. I do not understand in the slightest why you would forgive someone for abusing you, particularly if they are not seeking forgiveness and are continuing to try and maintain the lies, continuing to maintain the abuse for their own selfishness, which is a overly simplistic but easier way to describe their motivation. I am the targeted parent(for clarity) but I have watched my child withdrawal, shrink, lose confidence and more. Moved schools 2 years in a row for no good reason. To be put on psychoactive drugs like there is something wrong with them after I used the only leverage I had left to ask that the child see a counselor the last time I was sued for custody, knowing I couldn't win. I didn't fight back so that was my request to avoid an unwinnable fight that would only cause my child more stress. According to my child they went twice and the counselor said she couldn't see her anymore because she wasn't talking enough. Sound like something a counselor would say to anyone? So straight to drugs for a child that has just reached double digit age. Forgive the abuser? When I saw that I really twitched, maybe someone could help me understand, because I just don't. I'm sorry if I'm way off, seeing someone like you do this has been a gift and I am extremely grateful. For the first time I can imagine that my child might find someone like you or you and realize that it's not their fault in anyway. I can already see so many of the negative affects this situation causes and have so much fear for the life long consequences this type of treatment causes in adulthood. Sorry, i said way more than I intended to and at the same time left out so much. Thank you so much for putting yourself out in the open like this for the good of helping others like yourself, you have given me hope for her, that is priceless. I can't imagine what this is like for you but as I watch more it looks like you have found at least one way to cope that is helping you and others. Sorry, really poorly written, I'm kinda irritated i guess.
I will NEVER forgive my ex for nearly destroying my son and me. I will continue with therapy,,get my son and I all the help I can (6 years after winning him back), try to deal with the deep hatred and anger I have so I can heal with my son, who is depressed, confused can barely function. It makes me angry when people say forgiveness is divine. No, it changes nothing. It doesn't help us "move on".
This has to be so difficult for you. I am sorry for your experience. I think everyone would want healthy relationships with both parents.
As a mama, who is alienated from my oldest son, my heart is broken for you. As happy as I am for you to reconcile with your father, it’s a lose lose because you realize the abuse that your other parent did. I hold onto the hope of reconciliation for my son And I worry about him caring all the regret of how he’s treated me and how much years he’s lost we both lost. I wish I could take that away from him and it’s heartbreaking. Nobody wins with this type of abuse..
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing that. I think that you were lucky enough to uncover a couple of big lies that couldn't be overlooked. However, I suspect that in the general case there are just thousands of little lies and huge distortions. All with some kernel of truth. This is much harder to see through and explains why most children never see through it. So you were lucky enough that your alienator was not so expert and made the mistake of telling some big lies and getting into whatever it was with a priest. Please keep up the good work.
Thanks!
Thank you so much!
Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing!!
awesome story.....thanks!!!!!!
Sounds exactly like what happened to my daughter.
Sad!
This is your best video.
Lol, thank you. I made lots of more personal videos at first.
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject They’re really great. I did the same. I’ve done a video based on your findings that there are grounds and a precedent for prosecution for PA. Especially in your case. English Law obviously different from Utah, but if your problems stemmed from a false allegation of dv then in your type of situation it might be possible to prosecute for perjury. That’s why I was hoping we can talk. I would love to collaborate with you.
Ah yes, the Bobo doll experiment, standard developmental psychology.
Yes! So simple but important.
I want you to know that you are an angel in a time in my life , a couple of nights ago I asked my guides, my God, to send me send me some kind of a sign on how to get through to my children . I’m having an emergency meeting with them bc my youngest suddenly got this idea that I physically abused her…it came out of no where and she is my youngest. I have 4 kids and it’s been so so hard,,I can’t imagine what they have also been through..it’s all coming to a head and then suddenly this thing about me physically abusing my youngest came from nowhere..I know it’s just a tactic that their father is using bc they are getting too close to me for the first time in years. I’m going to let them watch this video idk about my 2 younger ones but my 19 year old girls will watch this thanks for being a light in darkness I’m sorry you had to go through this but just look what your doing with it you know no one knows about PA plz keep spreading awareness!
It must be extra hard on children when the abuser is the Mother. Mother's are used to be taken for granted it seems.
It really is. You never question your mom
Dear Madi, I'm a father and have been alienated from my 3 daughters for 14 years now, and who are now in their late 20s and early 30s, possibly about your age. You are very brave and intelligent, and you remind me very much of one of my daughters who has started to become aware, but is not broken free yet. Your experience shared here has been incredibly valuable to me and so many in our situation. If I may offer a bit of advice that I also hope will be valuable to you and other children caught in this issue, it is that, I hope you will also have compassion for your mother as well, and see her behavior as a result of some problem she may also have grown up with. I believe that for many who practice alienation, their behavior may be a way of getting loved to make up for some lack in their own upbringing, and by jealously 'possessing' their children's love, they might find the affirmation and value in themselves they may have missed as children. Throughout my own estrangement, I've tried to remember the love I always have for the woman I married, as well as the mother and person who gave me my 3 other great loves, namely my daughters. I think I'm saying that, though we know someone's faults, we should also forgive them and have compassion since in their own way they're also suffering. If you can forgive your mom while also loving your dad, I think you'll gain the expansive meaning of love that is what life and goodness has to teach all of us, because love and real unconditional love has no limits. We all have to work on that, and there are times when I'm angry, alone, and sad about what my wife has done, but when I remember my love and compassion for her, I can then remember that I would never had my particular 3 beautiful daughters in this world had I chose anyone else, so I have good reason to chose to try to understand my situation and never regret the woman I married. I've seen anger and regret in my own family members or siblings, that seemed to poison their lives and hold them back from growing and really having a great life. Know the wrongs, but be compassionate to yourself and your mom as much as possible. I don't have my girls back yet, but you've let some light into my world and made it better, just as if you were my own daughter. Thank you, dear, and always love and happiness to you and yours.
thank you for saying all of this. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. I appreciate your support :) and thank you for the reminder about remembering her pain. I have forgiven my mom.
@TheAnti-AlienationProject I understand, and each of us is the best judge of our own feelings and our situation. Again, thank you, Madi
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject Yes! It is not save to have a Relationship with her, its impossible once u found out, it would not make sense and be zero constructive for your life.
The Same it makes no sense for us dads to have a relationship or communication with them, they would never hold them word, any agreement or be accountable for anything.
my older Stepdaughter is doing fine, since she went no contact with her narcissistic mother. There is pain and struggle for everyone that experienced that form of horrible abuse, and we can only heal
if we are completely no contact.
Thats not a question of forgiveness, how u can forgive someone something that will never be able to admit or see and instead just keep on moving on and changing narratives with the new surrounding.
I won 50/50 custody despite the false abuse charges and restraining order. I try daily during my parenting time to ensure my daughter understands how much her daddy loves her. Honestly it’s no different than before. I’m just a father who never wanted my kids to not feel loved. I know that my narcissist ex is trying to destroy my relationship with my princess.
I was scapegoated in my family of origin, so when my spouse began to alienate our daughter from me, it felt "normal," even though it hurt, and I knew it was wrong. It took many years for me to understand what was really happening, and the picture did not come together until after my divorce from my abusive ex was finalized, and our child began to tell me what she had experienced with her father behind my back. She had turned her back on him after he and I separated because he was so desperately trying to buy her favor. Of course, he accused me of parental alienation during the divorce. There is no reciprocity to be had with certain people.
Sometimes alienated parents don't live long enough for the child to figure it out. Some parents take their own lives from the grief. From the poverty of fighting useless court battles. Other family menbers help the real toxic parent to keep reinforcing the rewritten history to the child. You're kucky your dad was still alive, rhat yiur grandma and aunt were still in your life. Many times there is no one left who will tell you the truth. And what hope do those parents have? What chance their children will ever figure it out? The alienators turn everyone in the childs life against the targeted parent.
thats my case & i wonder daily if its better if i just go away and they never find out the truth...thats why i never wrote it down or did a blog, because chances are they wont have any reason or need to contact & talk to me & probably never see any value in me, so they will never know anything different than whatever it is he has constructed for them...honestly, i really struggle with the necessity of them finding out and them having to deal with all those issues and the loss of both parents not just one that was pretty easy to replace for the most part...i really really have struggled with that for the past 10 years & tbh that is the one thing that time has influence my thinking about...the longer i am absent the less and less i think my presence will be of any benefit or positive additions for them & i think the negatives increase and become more sever and harder to deal with...and i say this with all honesty and much thought & consideration given to them & their experiences & not from my own personal feelings & sorrow & loss.
I am so scared to have to wait that long. I am hanging on by a thread
same
I understand alienation and lots of families never recognise their brother, sister, son or daughter in images on t.v as there is another name for them, age, look and people posing as family with false names etc. It's very difficult for victims if it's played on media because calling tv studios and complaining does not get far, if the people committed to it sneak around the victim it becomes harder again. The worst case scenario is the alienators being law enforcement and their group who bully people around the alienated victim who call about the problem. Reverse blogs and social sites with a link to articles or videos showing the opposite evidence can help you and ultimately false names alienators use prevent them from continuing when intervened on correctly.
It wasn't actually your decision. You were just made to believe it was your decision at nine years old.
So hopefully knowing this will help with any lingering feelings of guilt or shame...
Thank you for the reminder. 🤍🤍 this is what I need to remind myself.
The clips in this video trivialize the pain we're suffering from.
I’m sorry! It’s my way to lighten the mood. I have a dark sense of humor! Sometimes it helps me cope. But I can understand how not everyone will like my style.
You'll never get the truth from the alienator. Alienators only care about themselves and no one else. Targeted parents are what the child needs to be around and only the targeted parent. I totally support the child or adult child cutting ties with the alienator for good. Get away and never look back.
Never
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject I'm hoping that my daughter is ready to make the move for the better by coming to seek me out and come to a real home that has unconditional love & respect. She'll be 18 in a few weeks and then she can do whatever she wants. It may take a little more time but I really hope for her she comes my way any day now.
I agree, the alienator parent is deliberately harming their children. They should never have had custody with that kind of mindset. Alienators are basically sociopaths. No child once they find out who has abused them should go back. That is called Stockholm syndrome.
Damn... No wonder most alienated children will never reunite with their fathers. I mean, holy cow... it's nothing short of a miracle every time it does happen
I think that for family members to have tried to tell you would have risked your emotional collapse as a child, your loyalty was to your primary caregiver, waiting for you to eventually see the truth was the only way. For you to possibly begin being ready to deal with this it had to come from your willing it, if they had tried it would have forced you to choose sides and you would have drawn closer to your abuser. My step son has been moved away from his father, a common move to retain total control. We feel our version of events would destroy him as he is Enmeshed totally in his mothers life. I believe he has Attachment issues now due to believing he was abandoned. He is 23 now, we don't expect things to change.
I might be mistaken here, but it seems that you feel guilty for your actions when you were a child. I know you know this already, but it wasn't your fault. You were abused. You can't be held responsible for decisions you made as a child and even as a teenager resulting in the actions of an alienating parent. Sharing your experience is helping me tremendously as of 52-year-old father of five. Thank you so much. 🙏
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Thank you for saying that :)
🌚☄️❤️💫
Unfortunately, I think most kids never see the truth.
So now that I’ve watched a few of your videos, I think the difference between your experience and my son’s is that you choose to alienate yourself from your father and that’s how and why it was, for a lack of better word, ‘easier’, to come to the conclusion that you had been lied to and taken advantage of for years. It sounds like your mother took advantage of a decision you made.
Outside of a few photos, my son and I went from almost 6 y/o to almost 18 without seeing each other no phone calls no texts no letters no contact at all. I was completely cut out of his life. And I think that’s why although now knowing all the facts, he still doesn’t want to accept the very obvious truth…. that he and I had regular contact the first almost 6 years of his life. His mother out of the blue cut me out for no justifiable reason. The decision had been made for him.
I thank you. Your videos give me hope that he will accept the truth one day.
thats exactly what my ex did to me and my kids, they all are over 18 and still do not want any contact or any type of contact with me. i am sure it is soooo much better and easier and they have already processed through the loss and mourning and are at a functional acceptance of only having one parent in their lives...why would they want to unset that level of homeostasis they function in, what are the benefits in changing things, and i am sure they have a good idea about what costs and losses my presence/inclusion will to bring them... sooooo time just seems to help confirm their choice to live like the reality is i am not living...heck i am pretty sure i would do them same thing under those circumstances & conditions & if i was any of the the 4 of them... dont fault or negatively judge any of the 4 of them in the least off bits.
@@heart1caligurl you’re right. It’s hard to blame them.
Do children imitate the parent they trust, as you say? Or do they imitate the parent they identify with? Or, the parent who is the one who provides safety and shelter? Psychologists explain that, many times, the alienated parent is actually the one whose love is secure - the one who CAN be trusted is alienated. Children cater to the parent whose love is not secure.
How would a targeted parent introduce your content to the alienated child(ren)without pushing them farther away?
Can a bill be passed to consider this a crime before both parent and alienated child suffer the future psychological measures involved?
Sorry if this has been asked, but were your brothers alienated against their dad or just you? Also, do you have any relationship with your mother now? ❤
❤🩹❤
How old were you?
I can see a child who is alienated choosing a partner unconsciously like their alienating parent. Then in the future they are alienated form their children as well. Will you please make it so your videos can be "clipped?" I think a sound bite would be easier to send to an alienated kid than a whole video.
hmmmm…..my ex was Catholic too….and we have some nice PA going on here….coincidence?
Interesting! Really turned me off from the Catholic Church.
No sound for me, just this video?
the sound works for me?
Hi, just some feedback if I may. The inserted clips are distracting and don’t add anything to your videos.
Thanks for the tip
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject hi, thank you for your response. I’m not sure why your videos appeared in my feed but has been interesting to see something I was peripherally aware of but from the child’s perspective. It looks like you are looking to raise awareness of the issue and I applaud your efforts. I did ask a couple of questions in some of your other videos for the sake of trying to increase my knowledge. I apologise in advance, I’m a data analyst and tend to lean toward numbers to try and place any knowledge I acquire in context.
Keep up the good work.
Bust there chops Maddia!!👍
Im darth redd on twit