Creating a Eunuch Only Empire in Crusader Kings 3

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  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 169

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  8 днів тому +27

    Create your own homeless Eunuch today! play.crusaderkings.com/Alzabo. This video is sponsored by Paradox Interactive.

    • @shinsenshogun900
      @shinsenshogun900 8 днів тому +2

      Real cunning requires empty nether regions
      Adventures await for no manhoodless man

  • @neutral6854
    @neutral6854 8 днів тому +290

    Carpathia B plot just happening in the background the entire time goes crazy

    • @Okamithegod
      @Okamithegod 3 дні тому

      Right that is almost more interesting and I wish we could have had a video following that lol

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  8 днів тому +238

    Protip: if you enable subtitles you can see the exact number of each castration as it happens. The more you know!

  • @endgamevoid0707
    @endgamevoid0707 8 днів тому +217

    Genuinely the most deranged video yet, although the ck2 horse empire and your og playthrough of mu’nis are runner ups

  • @paraview8917
    @paraview8917 8 днів тому +100

    -‘Screw you, man we’re gonna mutiny!‘
    -‘No balls’
    -shits himself

  • @SnapStrategy
    @SnapStrategy 7 днів тому +49

    Should I be worried?? 👀 2:15

    • @jpanda79
      @jpanda79 6 днів тому

      I immediately was worried for you.

  • @Zelein
    @Zelein 8 днів тому +63

    Paradox: "We want to sponsor you for our new DLC"
    Alzabo: "Excellent. I can't wait to castrate all my followers"
    Paradox: "What?"
    Alzabo: "What?"

  • @kittydaddy2023
    @kittydaddy2023 8 днів тому +127

    If there is a new nightmare in CK3, AlzaboHD will find it.

    • @Old-ded-memes
      @Old-ded-memes 8 днів тому +3

      @@kittydaddy2023 This must be how pets felt when bob barker shows up

  • @Old-ded-memes
    @Old-ded-memes 8 днів тому +172

    “Behold! I am the chainsaw to your family trees!” -Munis

  • @lukaswilhelm9290
    @lukaswilhelm9290 8 днів тому +264

    Empire of no dongs

  • @ianspurrell4436
    @ianspurrell4436 8 днів тому +56

    I am truly disturbed at how long Munis got away with that.... How did nobody in is court or a relative of those he kidnaped not kill him? Also, if only you could play as the leader of holy order. A bunch of balless battle monks might have been more effective in combat.

    • @platypipope328
      @platypipope328 8 днів тому +5

      literally the unsullied

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  7 днів тому +20

      They tried! But with high intrigue, bodyguards and max dread none inside the realm and few outside of it attempted. Mostly from Carpathia, funnily enough.

    • @ianspurrell4436
      @ianspurrell4436 6 днів тому +1

      @@AlzaboHD I wonder if their odds were so low they COULDN'T or they DIDN'T?

  • @27Games23
    @27Games23 8 днів тому +37

    This is what Alzabo responded with when someone says “no balls”

  • @thegoon1353
    @thegoon1353 8 днів тому +43

    the way that one dude at the start is swinging his mace with a smile makes me think he's the designated eunuch "dismarmer"

  • @igorgs737
    @igorgs737 8 днів тому +23

    Man, i hope they add munis as an adventurer some day (or as an historical character at least). I even sugested that in some of the dev diaries. The adventurer ability to adopt scream for a character like Munis.

  • @misticcrafter4766
    @misticcrafter4766 8 днів тому +17

    Watching these videos unironically feels like being the audience to a new epic poem. Your wordplay is legendary, always flowing like water and as precious as satin.

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 8 днів тому +35

    *His favorite weapon is a pair of bricks.*
    *Guess why.*

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  8 днів тому +7

      why

    • @gijskramer1702
      @gijskramer1702 8 днів тому +3

      Bricks are bad for your teeth

    • @trygveplaustrum4634
      @trygveplaustrum4634 8 днів тому +6

      @@AlzaboHDWell, of course, his father was a mason. Certainly. No other reason!

    • @Kaz_9
      @Kaz_9 8 днів тому +2

      @@AlzaboHD he's french and rioting is in his blood

  • @Redem10
    @Redem10 8 днів тому +18

    Our eunuch seems to have a lot of money issues....then again his purse is empty

  • @TVBenSifka
    @TVBenSifka 8 днів тому +11

    How did your entire camp not murder you at any point lmao

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  7 днів тому +6

      Good question!
      Fear and dread. Munis was sitting at maximum dread the entire campaign. There were still murder schemes of course, but they were normally outside the realm (eg counts in Carpathia).
      I wanted to include these in the video but it was already my longest (?) to date!

    • @auramaster2068
      @auramaster2068 6 днів тому +3

      Nobody had the balls

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 8 днів тому +30

    I quite appreciate the brief break in character at 16:31 as Alzabo couldn’t quite control his laughter!

  • @dethmin173
    @dethmin173 8 днів тому +17

    This honestly might be Alzabo's funniest video

  • @obsidian1453
    @obsidian1453 8 днів тому +13

    The one eyed mercenary leader leading an army with no nation... sounds familiar...

    • @kobenithegoat
      @kobenithegoat 8 днів тому +6

      the man who deballed the world

    • @kohlicoide2258
      @kohlicoide2258 8 днів тому +3

      "I was always a Eunuch, Kaz."

    • @obamabiden
      @obamabiden 7 днів тому +4

      my arm... my leg... even my balls... it's like they're all still there...

  • @ybox1054
    @ybox1054 8 днів тому +14

    this place is nuts!

  • @iptf
    @iptf 8 днів тому +5

    I don't know how you come up with a half hour of rhymes for this. How many synonyms for ball removal.are there?

  • @Krumpet__
    @Krumpet__ 8 днів тому +8

    Close enough, Welcome back Torgo Nudho and the Unsullied

  • @MikaelKKarlsson
    @MikaelKKarlsson 8 днів тому +7

    That Bishop stud knew he was living on the edge.

  • @god0fperfection
    @god0fperfection 8 днів тому +11

    Welcome Back!

  • @arcane_luzion
    @arcane_luzion 8 днів тому +7

    2:15 snap strategy easter egg 🎉

  • @LazlotheInstigator
    @LazlotheInstigator 8 днів тому +5

    OMG this guy has a macro when he lands and he says “hello all I am here” and uh…
    Ring back vent harassment

  • @purpledevilr7463
    @purpledevilr7463 8 днів тому +6

    Should’ve been Chinese. The bureaucrats take power.

  • @kgptzac
    @kgptzac 8 днів тому +4

    honest question: how many times did you get murdered in the production of this video from all the enemies you've made? 😅

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  7 днів тому +2

      Not once!
      I had a high intrigue spymaster the entire time and capped dread, so no one dared to do it in my court (because I would execute them).
      Counts outside the realm did try several times, mostly from Carpathia, but my bodyguards and high intrigue prevented their success.

  • @idolsrule4678
    @idolsrule4678 8 днів тому +7

    Bro made Wei Zhongxian

  • @Slime.
    @Slime. 8 днів тому +5

    this is the best ck3 video I've ever watched

  • @J_Hodders
    @J_Hodders 7 днів тому +3

    This is some of the most F'd up stuff and it was a fantastic pleasure! I was crying with laughter from start to finish and that must make this my favourite video you have produced to date! Seriously, thank you for the laughs and sterling content AlzaboHD

  • @BrassAmbassador
    @BrassAmbassador 7 днів тому +1

    You know, there was actually a sect of sorts running around Moscow in the XVII century who did just this: they were notorious for ambushing passerbys at night and castrating them.

  • @AlbertAlbertB.
    @AlbertAlbertB. 8 днів тому +3

    Εὔχομαι σε ὑγιαίνειν, great video as always

  • @MunchKING
    @MunchKING 7 днів тому +2

    Wait, how was the Karling lady supposed to be your heir? I didn't think you could make your wife your heir?

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  7 днів тому

      Good question!
      All eunuchs cannot inherit lands or titles. Basically everyone not a Eunuch was set to inherit all titles in the kingdom.
      I invited her to my court (well, abducted) and kicked out all other women so that she would inherit. But then she left court. Whoops.

  • @TheArklyte
    @TheArklyte 7 днів тому +1

    That would have been a wild thing to read about in history books.

  • @thatguy7880
    @thatguy7880 12 годин тому +1

    I love the videos but PLEASE use a deesser on the audio. The s sounds in words you speak are piercing loud compared to the rest of the frequencies so it hurts to listen even on low volume.

  • @Xadaj127
    @Xadaj127 8 днів тому +3

    Oh geez, the title in that thumbnail. We're in for something... *special.*

  • @nattiedraws
    @nattiedraws 7 днів тому +2

    I do wonder how long you had this idea on the chopping block. It sure took some balls to go through with this nation

  • @HEEHEEBOII
    @HEEHEEBOII 8 днів тому +1

    lmaaaao is "Snip Strategy" a shot at Snap Strategy the other CK3 youtuber?

  • @wiel5908
    @wiel5908 8 днів тому +2

    its always a Munis

  • @aaronbartolini5455
    @aaronbartolini5455 8 днів тому +2

    Your videos are always amazing

  • @AngbangCorp
    @AngbangCorp 7 днів тому +1

    Castrantinople I can't🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @FacundoTroitero
    @FacundoTroitero 6 днів тому +1

    This isn't gameplay, this is art

  • @andrewbrander1
    @andrewbrander1 8 днів тому +1

    hey alzabo can you please play servb

  • @starman825
    @starman825 8 днів тому +4

    Personally I think a Paris commune campaign in Victoria 3 and making all of Europe communist would be a neat thing

  • @dxftryuhjgft6986
    @dxftryuhjgft6986 8 днів тому +1

    The goat has returned

  • @PenguinWithInternetAccess
    @PenguinWithInternetAccess 6 днів тому

    16:31 I wasn't expecting the minecraft villager hurt sound now i'm just dying from laughter

  • @Wvavy
    @Wvavy 8 днів тому +8

    Bro what 💀💀

  • @mike_kravchenko
    @mike_kravchenko 4 дні тому

    Toughest timeline for Europeans. Nomads from east and Castrate islenders from south

  • @seno9771
    @seno9771 8 днів тому +1

    Snip Strategy😂 is that a Snap Strategy reference??

  • @blktauna
    @blktauna 8 днів тому

    By Azura... lol How do you even come up with this stuff?

  • @alexsanz231
    @alexsanz231 6 днів тому

    There was a similar knight order in Rick and Morty😂😂😂😂

  • @DrWatchHD
    @DrWatchHD 7 днів тому

    Well, you can try to destroy all other dynasties by castration of everyone except your dynasty.
    Or even play as a woman, to secure the purity of dynasty.

  • @MrLocurito
    @MrLocurito 6 днів тому

    with this dlc you could hypotetically play as an unlanded monk, and travel ALL the way to india, to convert it to christianity

  • @Todesschleicher
    @Todesschleicher 5 днів тому

    The dedications to putting so many alliterations and other wordplay into this video really took some balls

  • @TravisKastl-ui9mk
    @TravisKastl-ui9mk 3 дні тому

    Honestly I think they need to dial way back how much the nobles castrate their sons.

  • @AbelDuviant
    @AbelDuviant 6 днів тому

    Absolutely terrifying campaign

  • @xzimnut
    @xzimnut 5 днів тому

    Wait a minute, 0 reference to The Boys Are Back in Town?!

  • @moosegoose3159
    @moosegoose3159 7 днів тому

    This wasn’t in my subscription feed…

  • @MrBreaknet
    @MrBreaknet 3 дні тому

    How can you make so many puns... JUST HOW

  • @kadmon326
    @kadmon326 8 днів тому

    Is this what Davos meant when he talked to Greyworm in season 8?

  • @razzaus1570
    @razzaus1570 8 днів тому

    This is one way to stop the lads complaining about it being a sausage fest.

  • @PenguinWithInternetAccess
    @PenguinWithInternetAccess 6 днів тому

    35:22 "Your lineage has come to an end" I think it was ended a long time ago tho 💀

  • @walterusalbus
    @walterusalbus 6 днів тому

    Make INGSOC in victoria 3

  • @jpanda79
    @jpanda79 6 днів тому

    I like how your boat just goes through the whole south of italy

  • @smithblack5945
    @smithblack5945 7 днів тому

    You know what they say, "cut people cut people"

  • @Rocklahaulle
    @Rocklahaulle 8 днів тому

    Wtf was carpathia smoking dog

  • @lolpop241
    @lolpop241 8 днів тому

    Anyone else getting Xavier: Renegade Angel vibes?

  • @louiebrown5515
    @louiebrown5515 7 днів тому

    The personification of being a liberal.

  • @TheMataphysical
    @TheMataphysical 4 дні тому

    This may be your greatest work.

  • @TimMachtSachen
    @TimMachtSachen 6 днів тому

    "blind him for good measure" killed me

  • @unitor699industries
    @unitor699industries 6 днів тому

    any guide how to create sultanate of rum

  • @kingofravens215
    @kingofravens215 7 днів тому

    This feels like a Greek tragedy honestly

  • @nerzha
    @nerzha 6 днів тому

    I love these crazy CK3 videos. Where you make your own rules for how to play and then just go ham with it.

  • @arnstoff3212
    @arnstoff3212 8 днів тому

    Ths will be bad for the economy

  • @fataliecatalie899
    @fataliecatalie899 4 дні тому

    THE HUMAN MALE DEATH SOUND FROM WOW AT 3:50 SENT ME OMG

  • @Kyle-rq1sr
    @Kyle-rq1sr 8 днів тому

    Finally a playthrough with balls

  • @comradeviper4054
    @comradeviper4054 6 днів тому

    Least demented CK3 player:

  • @acrustaceannamedfish7976
    @acrustaceannamedfish7976 8 днів тому

    Babe wake up, Alzabo posted

  • @Hugo_Mendez
    @Hugo_Mendez 6 днів тому

    Nocockia had no sea men but tons eunuchs

  • @cookudysu90
    @cookudysu90 День тому

    An Empire of no Balls

  • @lucasportasio
    @lucasportasio 8 днів тому

    this was deranged, i loved it!

  • @DynMorgannwg
    @DynMorgannwg 7 днів тому

    Guangdong ❌
    Gwhat’s a dong? ✅

  • @DynMorgannwg
    @DynMorgannwg 7 днів тому

    Guangdong ❌
    Gwhat’s a dong? ✅

  • @kucimaka8092
    @kucimaka8092 4 дні тому

    KRAKOW POWER IS NEXT!
    LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

  • @HER3411
    @HER3411 4 дні тому

    So… how does succession work?

  • @gaspardfrileux1816
    @gaspardfrileux1816 7 днів тому

    House bolton gameplay

  • @FlorenceMartinsen-d4x
    @FlorenceMartinsen-d4x День тому

    Cruickshank Course

  • @richardalex4516
    @richardalex4516 7 днів тому

    Castrantinople lives!

  • @carltonleboss
    @carltonleboss 7 днів тому

    What a crazy campaign.

  • @sarahlynn7807
    @sarahlynn7807 8 днів тому +1

    Orchiectomied 12 people to this video. 23 balls.

    • @trygveplaustrum4634
      @trygveplaustrum4634 8 днів тому

      …Which fellow has only one ball?

    • @sarahlynn7807
      @sarahlynn7807 8 днів тому

      @@trygveplaustrum4634 Austrian feller, lost it in the war. He's been talking crazy since failing to get into art school, but he's a nice fem boy now and turned away from the alt right.

  • @tweetert.9978
    @tweetert.9978 3 дні тому

    Un'ball'eviably lmao

  • @mudristefamon2338
    @mudristefamon2338 8 днів тому

    Nein , it's raw rebbit time

  • @woori1264
    @woori1264 8 днів тому

    alzabohd ambatu khan

  • @marcdr.9816
    @marcdr.9816 8 днів тому

    Varys playthrough

  • @MrTrentington
    @MrTrentington 3 дні тому

    The they/them-archy

  • @marcusanark2541
    @marcusanark2541 8 днів тому

    Snip Strategy 😂

  • @2icharlie
    @2icharlie 8 днів тому

    Loved this so much, paused the video to actually go buy the dlc