Infomercialism: Bullet Express

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  • Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
  • Mike reviews the follow up to the Magic Bullet infomercial, in the form of the Bullet Express!
    Subscribe for more content! New videos regularly including infomercial product reviews, movie reviews and silliness!
    Follow Mike on Twitter / theonlymikej
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    Music and intro by / macstyran
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    Mike Jeavons
    VS-Unit YF20
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 233

  • @FC_mania
    @FC_mania 7 років тому +15

    "Sit down Granny, you've already had 3 heart attacks."
    Mike. Never change.

  • @Tokalafox
    @Tokalafox 8 років тому +182

    I hope some day you get the machine, so you can revisit this one.

  • @KonElKent
    @KonElKent 6 років тому +6

    I have an aunt who invites people over to show off the gadgets like this. The novelty wore off very quickly. Maybe I should have checked her kitchen for cameras, was I unwittingly in a series of infomercials?!

  • @Kaeltis
    @Kaeltis 8 років тому +139

    I love your Infomercialisms, GIVE ME MOAR!

  • @chrislovato3362
    @chrislovato3362 6 років тому +1

    I don't know why I haven't subscribed by now, but this video was the ticket. "I haven't eaten in 10 minutes, I'm feeling faint" SLAYED me.

  • @xigbar1994
    @xigbar1994 8 років тому +12

    I think this has been your funniest Infomercialism yet, keep it up Mike!

  • @TheBattra
    @TheBattra 8 років тому +103

    Wasn't the whole point of the Magic Bulet, to get rid of the giant food processors in your home?

    • @almightyk11
      @almightyk11 8 років тому +4

      The multiple ones is the point

    • @HowdyFolksGaming
      @HowdyFolksGaming 6 років тому +16

      “That’s because it is NOT a food processor.”

  • @connornealon1112
    @connornealon1112 3 роки тому +4

    Absolutely love this channel brilliant content between Mike, Ashens and MVK (Barry Lewis) you guys know how to entertain and educate. Thank you Mike you have helped me through many 12 hour shifts👌

  • @heidifedor
    @heidifedor 4 роки тому +4

    I think Mick and Mimi invite friends over, and then pull a time share presentation. BTW, they told us that with the original Magic Bullet we didn’t need all of that.

  • @felicitychampagne283
    @felicitychampagne283 5 років тому +4

    2:42 I’m crying!😂😂😂
    “Looks absolutely vile.”

  • @an2qzavok
    @an2qzavok 8 років тому +25

    So I heard this theory that infomercials are selling products for the disabled, but can't say it openly due to market pressures.
    "It's so easy, you can grate cheese just *with* *one* *hand* "!

    • @neeneko
      @neeneko 8 років тому +21

      It depends on the product. Quite a few were indeed products created for the disabled but companies would not back them unless you could demonstrate how it could be sold to 'normal' people. Even when there is a strong market for an item, people in general sales and marketing do not like having their names associated with such products so they push for the change of focus.
      It is a lot less about 'market pressure' (in terms of consumers) and more about 'career image', pressures within the marketing industry itself.

  • @CalliopePony
    @CalliopePony 8 років тому +61

    We can prepare the food for our guests super fast! And then we're going to make them wait while it's in the oven!
    Seriously, the product might make the preparation easier, but nachos, pizza, and meatloaf all need time to cook.

    • @TheProfessor529
      @TheProfessor529 6 років тому +4

      Yeah, that why it's 'ready to HEAT OR eat'. The Magic Bullet was more ambiguous on the fact that it dosen't COOK the food too.

    • @10191927
      @10191927 6 років тому +3

      Considering a fresh made pizza takes 15-20 minutes, a meatloaf can take an hour, and nachos can also take 15 minutes(or more if it’s a large nachos for a party). So if everyone invited wants to sit there while every item is cooked individually, you’re gonna be starving to death.

  • @morphman86
    @morphman86 7 років тому +4

    He's British, so he's just being passive-aggressive. Inside he's going:
    "Yeah, Grandma, those aren't almonds you're smelling on the cake. I put a few cyanide capsules in yours!"

  • @Chusterkuun
    @Chusterkuun 8 років тому +1

    This is probably my favorite infomercial ever. I remember watching this late at night back in the day.

  • @LauraSusanJohnson
    @LauraSusanJohnson 2 роки тому +2

    The first wife left him. They had yet another domestic over his love for curry powder. She got the magic bullet.

  • @Redmoonblade
    @Redmoonblade 6 років тому +4

    Oh hey its that thing thats been collecting dust in my pantry for a year.

  • @sarmin8008
    @sarmin8008 7 років тому +22

    And then martha used the Bullet Express to chop down the couple in under 10 seconds, she may have gotten her revenge but she can't deny she was impressed she could chop them down before the 999 call was even finished.
    The fat guy ate them of course.

  • @ClayFoxx
    @ClayFoxx 8 років тому +3

    Your commentary never fails to make me laugh.

  • @allisonmcdonough1
    @allisonmcdonough1 3 роки тому +2

    we never see those kids again

  • @Lavahound9
    @Lavahound9 6 років тому +3

    “Alright huck, Get Out Of My house!”

  • @Nexiusify
    @Nexiusify 8 років тому +17

    *Walks in to sister's house* Where's the food?! THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER!
    ...I have learned the best manners from this advert.

  • @gonenroitman8579
    @gonenroitman8579 8 років тому +90

    IT....GRATES... CHEESE mind=blown

  • @johntumahab323
    @johntumahab323 6 років тому +2

    The product may be just a food processor, but this infomercial is awesome. It's like "The Room" of infomercials.
    Jabba the Hutt really sells the closer. :D

  • @reececrump8483
    @reececrump8483 7 років тому +2

    That laughing sequence was genius

  • @NightridewithNikki
    @NightridewithNikki 6 років тому +1

    I find this hilarious, I think Mike should sometimes do videos where he just riffs on infomercials

  • @ZebUrsoThera
    @ZebUrsoThera 8 років тому +2

    "I'm just gonna pop in there a little bit of cream cheese."
    *puts in 4 blocks of cream cheese*

  • @kohinarec6580
    @kohinarec6580 4 роки тому +1

    I spent at least two minutes looking for this video! The nostalgia! The feeling of accomplishment!

  • @AdaWongLover5
    @AdaWongLover5 8 років тому +47

    I hope to god someone sends Mike one or he manages to get one. I'm curious about that shitty looking pizza. Week of Bullet Express!

    • @sillygrl23
      @sillygrl23 7 років тому +2

      I could definitely see it being great for grating the cheese and pepperoni but how you suppose to keep the toppings together if the tomatoes are just diced tomatoes and not tomato sauce?

  • @bigshambowski
    @bigshambowski 8 років тому +10

    "A LITTLE BIT of cream cheese."

    • @xenxander
      @xenxander 7 років тому

      I know right... if I had 5 tubs of cream cheese, I might have enough to equal that. I have never in my life had that much cream cheese on a cutting board. It's unreal!

  • @LoaderB0t
    @LoaderB0t 8 років тому +2

    I have been laughing for 3 straight minutes at the cream cheese part. My stomach hurts.

  • @LegionOfBlues901
    @LegionOfBlues901 8 років тому +2

    Thank you so much for doing an ep on this one. The recipes and way the food looked pretty much required to be slammed.

  • @jackmcslay
    @jackmcslay 8 років тому +21

    To make it worse, unimpressed lady looks like Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter

    • @twilliamspro
      @twilliamspro 8 років тому

      Jack Mcslay She really does

    • @thehoosierfortheUK
      @thehoosierfortheUK 8 років тому

      No what makes it worse is Ralph, that gluttonous pile of fuck!

    • @bjam89
      @bjam89 7 років тому

      The granny?

  • @Djonin
    @Djonin 7 років тому +2

    It's like this infomercial is its own youtube poop.

  • @darrenclements
    @darrenclements 4 роки тому +2

    They made pink sludge and a massive salad to go with it :)

  • @CinderAngel3
    @CinderAngel3 7 років тому

    "Right you lot, get the fuck out of my house." This was the best line ever.

  • @eartianwerewolf
    @eartianwerewolf 7 років тому +1

    I love how you are showing solidarity to the chubby man :) haha

  • @Keymaster2022
    @Keymaster2022 8 років тому +4

    Cringe levels are OFF the chart. I am so glad you're doing these again haha.

  • @danxepha4535
    @danxepha4535 8 років тому +25

    What is it with these American infomercials that feature a British guy? The Brit always seems to have a slightly Americanised accent, where he swaps "t"s for "d"s like when he says "liddle" or "bulled express".
    It really gets on my nerves. Nerd Cubed also does it. Why do that? What is the reason??

    • @md_vandenberg
      @md_vandenberg 8 років тому +13

      I'm pretty sure the Brummie accent does the same thing. Perhaps the host has spent significant time in America and his accent is shifting. It's a completely normal thing. Besides, American accents are bastardizations of every European accent ever known to man. Some people talk funny. Not sure why you think it's a big deal.

    • @heathery1
      @heathery1 8 років тому +5

      Dan Xepha THIS. I actually fucking hate this. All these young hipster gimps are doing it now "Todally" c***s.

    • @benson4u215
      @benson4u215 7 років тому

      Matthew VandenBerg half of britian uses broken queens english calling themselves proper, whats the other half?

    • @edbadyt
      @edbadyt 7 років тому

      Not half of the UK speaks the Queen's English, I'd say about 5% of the of the UK does, the rest just have regional accents

    • @MuchWhittering
      @MuchWhittering 6 років тому

      Tom Scott does it as well, where he seems to have become American over the years. I think part of it's overexposure to them, and the other half is an attempt to appeal to them.

  • @isetmfriendsofire
    @isetmfriendsofire 5 років тому +2

    I don't care what ANYONE says. This is the whitest commercial in HISTORY.

  • @jackmaney4276
    @jackmaney4276 8 років тому +2

    "....a LITTLE BIT of cream cheese..."

  • @bessduke2247
    @bessduke2247 8 років тому +49

    "magic bullet" sounds like a vibrator.

    • @kitsunekid16
      @kitsunekid16 8 років тому +7

      Marjory Stewart-Baxter according to the comments on the last infomercial....it was.

    • @TravelWithBradley
      @TravelWithBradley 6 років тому +3

      Let's just say my fiance had mixed emotions when I said I bought her a magic bullet.

  • @AdamS-argonwow
    @AdamS-argonwow 8 років тому +39

    Turkey meatloaf not disgusting enough as paste? Throw some ketchup on there and make it an absolute abomination.
    Seriously, I never understood ketchup on meatloaf, the idea of it makes me ill.

    • @DragnSly
      @DragnSly 8 років тому +10

      I love ketchup on meatloaf, but I don't get why people put it on the loaf before baking it. Ketchup jerky is not appetizing to me :P

    • @Iavasechui
      @Iavasechui 8 років тому +8

      I always use ketchup on my meatloaf of course my meatloaf is made from ground beef and as ketchup tastes just as good on that as it does a hamburger. The brown sugar though... wtf

    • @diamondfailer11
      @diamondfailer11 6 років тому

      ladydiskette Spaghetti

  • @GeneralMetrac
    @GeneralMetrac 8 років тому +4

    Notice the kids JUST as the whole family comes in, but they're not shown for the rest of the commercial.... odd

  • @LordmonkeyTRM
    @LordmonkeyTRM 6 років тому +1

    "...Just take your angina medication and sit the fuck down..."😄😂🤣

    • @LordmonkeyTRM
      @LordmonkeyTRM 6 років тому +1

      Also that English guy is an Uncle Winston...
      Most English name I could think of...

  • @felicitychampagne283
    @felicitychampagne283 5 років тому +2

    1:02 So...........how are you going to do that if you don’t have two people?? Like mean I guess you have to put it in the bowl. But wait....that doesn’t really help with the time they said for it..

  • @LinxFox
    @LinxFox 8 років тому +2

    Guess they got tired or Berman (or something else happened), Hazel and all the others and got new family and friends.

  • @JENSENWINTERS
    @JENSENWINTERS 8 років тому +1

    Damn, I was really hoping you could get your hands on one!😂 great video still

  • @zh84
    @zh84 8 років тому +6

    There is a My Drunk Kitchen episode in which Hannah Hart makes a pizza while nearly legless - and it's still a much better pizza than that one.

  • @weirdcat4life13
    @weirdcat4life13 8 років тому +2

    yep. the laugh montage did me in

  • @thehoosierfortheUK
    @thehoosierfortheUK 8 років тому +1

    3:28 "I'm ready"
    For what, weight loss surgery?

  • @LightTheUnicorn
    @LightTheUnicorn 8 років тому +1

    Well, that social gathering wasn't awkward at all was it!

  • @BlakouttheMM
    @BlakouttheMM 7 років тому +2

    1:26 dear god, that woman's reaction. I need a gif of that.

  • @sarkycanadian1394
    @sarkycanadian1394 8 років тому

    In the unlikely event that you've seen the comment i posted on the magic bullet infomerciallism video: this is a rehash of that very same comment, much listless childhood nights watching these infomercials

  • @sillygrl23
    @sillygrl23 8 років тому +2

    Hahaha, I love this....it tries so hard to be a cheap sitcom. :D
    As I recall they did another one that takes place while they are camping.....and I use the term 'camping' loosely. There is no outdoors.

    • @SuperChochip
      @SuperChochip 8 років тому +2

      The couple went camping, and for GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON everyone from the previous infomercial was in the same woods at the same time in the fucking same place! God I love infomercials...

  • @xenxander
    @xenxander 7 років тому

    He's British so he's passive-aggressive.. Inside he wishes you were fuckin' dead...

  • @SeaSwine9
    @SeaSwine9 8 років тому +12

    The meatloaf looked foul. Why is it so pale? :I

    • @SeaSwine9
      @SeaSwine9 8 років тому

      It looks a flaccid cheese cake.

    • @eartianwerewolf
      @eartianwerewolf 7 років тому +1

      foul? as in fowl as in hur hur hur

  • @hethrham123
    @hethrham123 8 років тому +5

    riffing on infomercials

  • @bushbasher85
    @bushbasher85 8 років тому

    Quick somebody send Mike a Bullet Express so he can actually review it.

  • @retroprogamer7009
    @retroprogamer7009 8 років тому +1

    The only difference between this and the last one is that this time noone is smoking. or at least i hope the Bullet express does not start to smoke if you use it for more than 10 seconds

  • @curiositykilledthecat5118
    @curiositykilledthecat5118 8 років тому

    I can't thumbs up your sarcasm enough.

  • @Ulysses3473
    @Ulysses3473 4 роки тому +1

    Did they include the time it takes to prepare the crap to put through the machine....taters don't peel themselves 😂😂😂

  • @christinawilkephillips7684
    @christinawilkephillips7684 8 років тому

    someone quick donate a bullet express to mike... so he can grate cheese!

  • @TheHelado36
    @TheHelado36 8 років тому

    And the irony is that these products are very good, the infomercial makes more harm than good !

  • @abdulmasaiev9024
    @abdulmasaiev9024 6 років тому

    3:30 he looks sad because the thing on the table that they're "already done with" are veggies

  • @SolanusDracon
    @SolanusDracon 8 років тому

    OK, nice laugh montage. I kek'd

  • @xgmb45
    @xgmb45 8 років тому

    Different house and different wife than the last video? It all makes sense now, Mick was at a swinger's party in the Magic Bullet infomercial.

  • @anskyeli
    @anskyeli 8 років тому

    I love these videos so much

  • @DarkCobra88
    @DarkCobra88 8 років тому

    Brilliant episode, it was really funny. I don't see why people are so bothered he didn't have the product, he did say he couldn't get hold of it and to be fair, it was just as funny without it, i'm not saying never have them but if it means getting a video as opposed to not, i will take more of these please.

  • @codylehr9848
    @codylehr9848 6 років тому +2

    why wouldn't you get the machine for your video... I love the series but what were you thinking

  • @iKillerZombie
    @iKillerZombie 8 років тому +1

    3:19 WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!?!

  • @ilpalazzo3
    @ilpalazzo3 8 років тому +1

    Minced turkey topped with ketchup and SUGAR? That can't be something people really eat, can it?!

  • @chaoszonenate
    @chaoszonenate 7 років тому

    That is the most vile looking meatloaf I've ever seen. Also those kids literally vanished from existence.

  • @Chickenfingersbaby
    @Chickenfingersbaby 8 років тому

    Funniest Infomercial yet

  • @DollyBelladonna
    @DollyBelladonna 8 років тому

    Just watching Alisons review of Witchcraft 5 with Mike and kin hell the weight loss

  • @AsymptoteInverse
    @AsymptoteInverse 6 років тому +1

    Why did they feel the need to present this as a bizarre, terrible sitcom?

  • @del-boysnostalgiatvads7416
    @del-boysnostalgiatvads7416 8 років тому +1

    Brilliant!

  • @codexnecro3917
    @codexnecro3917 8 років тому +1

    Most of the foods they come up with look fucking horrifying, and probably taste like it too.

  • @Jiddy12345
    @Jiddy12345 8 років тому +22

    What a rude family

    • @thehoosierfortheuk4838
      @thehoosierfortheuk4838 8 років тому

      I agree, I wouldn't be caught dead with or around anybody like that! And I thought the conors (Roseanne's family) was rude?

    • @thehoosierfortheuk4838
      @thehoosierfortheuk4838 8 років тому +6

      A grouchy grandma, two yuppies who berate Martha, Martha who's relatively normal, and Ralph who's a bald out of shape douchebag who looks like his diet consists of fried dough and anything sugar coated!

    • @Jiddy12345
      @Jiddy12345 8 років тому +3

      All of Mike's callbacks were hilarious. "You bring shame to your fellow Englishmen."

  • @BubblegumGirl366
    @BubblegumGirl366 8 років тому

    Still waiting for a week on Magic Bullet

  • @stagespectre
    @stagespectre 8 років тому

    Do one week on the the Bullet Express

  • @S1nwar
    @S1nwar 8 років тому +4

    can you review movies as british person again pls? that entire archive on channel awesome is like corrupted or something

  • @goldensloth7
    @goldensloth7 8 років тому

    It's the pan-tastic new, 8-in-1, Super-Pan!

  • @lackcameron4602
    @lackcameron4602 7 років тому

    why were the comments disabled on the other bullet video?

  • @sett_l5341
    @sett_l5341 8 років тому

    very nice

  • @Bobba_raekus
    @Bobba_raekus 8 років тому

    I'm on time to comment foah once BUT MIKE, WHERE'S ALL DA FOOD?!

  • @mnky75
    @mnky75 4 роки тому

    Does it chop body parts? Asking for a friend.....

  • @Nixilla
    @Nixilla 7 років тому +3

    What the fuck dish involves turkey, ketchup and brown sugar? That sounds like an absolutely vile combination...

  • @rob-paulson
    @rob-paulson 7 років тому +1

    Week on bullet express meals? I want to see how sad Mike is at that meatloaf... pudding.

  • @DjVortex-w
    @DjVortex-w 7 років тому

    The "husband" sounds like a drunk Aussie.

  • @seanmatyas3938
    @seanmatyas3938 5 років тому

    It is Magic Pan...it is whisper quiet

  • @Oliverkavanagh2108
    @Oliverkavanagh2108 7 років тому

    Ok I'll make a roast chicken dinner.

  • @steely666
    @steely666 6 років тому

    English bloke works for the company. He's been on shopping channels demonstrating them. 😐

  • @EarthboundX
    @EarthboundX 8 років тому

    Nope, that's the same wife from the first one.

  • @IbadGrammarX
    @IbadGrammarX 8 років тому

    new Infomercialism ^_^

  • @SweetDeArT
    @SweetDeArT 8 років тому

    please get this

  • @twilliamspro
    @twilliamspro 7 років тому

    i was waiting for granny to say something mildly racist

  • @MrHeem94
    @MrHeem94 8 років тому

    Could have been longer. Maybe an extravaganza!

  • @numbers9to0
    @numbers9to0 8 років тому

    Before you watch, and be disappointed: he didn't get one.

  • @ahrenwoiczyk
    @ahrenwoiczyk 7 років тому

    my mom bought this and asked her how much crack she was on!

  • @kitsunekid16
    @kitsunekid16 8 років тому

    so far only 9 threads complaining that he doesnt actually have the product. guessing they are new here because that was how he used to do infomercialism. it was more showcasing weird and funny infomercials while making fun of them than actually reviewing the products