Sounds to me like, their problem with the blue fairy is that she was a white blondie. No, the blue fairy in the cartoon had a much gentler look and voice.
Imagine if they remade Song of the South and they tried to fix the racist elements but in such an insensitive way that it becomes more racist I think that would be worse
The scene of Pinocchio using smoke to escape Monstro is especially poignant when you realize that earlier in the original movie, Pinocchio himself got sick from smoking. Ultimately, the thing that makes Pinocchio a real boy...is his capability to learn and grow from his own mistakes.
I completely agree, he became a real boy because he learned from his mistakes and tried to use his new knowledge to help those he cared about. He has character growth from a selfish boy who puts himself first to a boy who risked his own life for his family.
I think the issue is now; many filmakers disrespect their audience in that they think people are too stupid to understand things and make those connections. So; they practically reach out of the screen and slap you with explinations and messages. Thus causing the problem they create with critics. So the critics bomb review a movie without a message beating you over the head and inflate the oposite. Filmakers chase the reviewers; not realising (or not caring… im leaning towards the latter) that people dont listen to them anymore. Its a feedback loop of insanity tbh. Unless of course this was a move just to retain the rights and they have no care to actually make a decent film. There us that option too
@@Edwinaopt You are kidding right. 1st off, Pinnochio was suppose to be a complete innocent...who knew nothing about the world. Instead, the idea you got from the original movie is that all boys are naturally naughty. Pinoccho in the original was selfish, vain, and cruel. His only achievement was saving his own father who he put into danger ....after discovering the world wasn't a nice place and him finally wanting to go back to the safety of his family. IF any one of those events he encountered hadn't be utterly horrible ...Pinocchio would have left the old puppet maker behind to die by whale. He never earn the right to be a real boy...he was just turned into one for the sake of the story. I like that it wasn't as simply as the orignal movie made it to turn him into a real boy. That him endangering his own life for his father, when ...he put the man into danger in the first place, wasn't a good enough criteria to instantly get him boyhood. Once again, I see the main problem everyone seem to have with this movie is that the blue fairy doesn't have a lot of hair and they had actual children drink rootbeer. What a sin.
The puppeteer woman is the actual big Virtue signal of this movie. She's there to be a beleaguered employee who is overworked and underpaid and is there to make a message about treating your workers humanely. In a movie made by DISNEY.
@@austinreed7343 getting fired for being bigoted towards other employees is not really an example of workers being treated horribly. you really went for one of the ONLY examples of them doing something good
Lesson of old Pinocchio: Be good and don’t lie or bad stuff will happen Lesson of new Pinocchio: Bad stuff happens no matter how good you are At least that’s how I see it
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy I mean there is Just not for the kids Corporate are evil rich people who want keep wanting more money by milking that cash cow and then making steak once the cash cow is dead
Bad stuff happening no matter what isn't even a bad message per se, but you gotta supplement it with a message along the lines of "that's no excuse to be bad yourself" or something like that. Which this movie absolutely does not
Jimminy Cricket: "I know the true story of Pinocchio." Meanwhile in Jimminy's brain: "Father, when can I finally be on my own, I've got the whole world to see!"
That movie is legitimately better than this movie. Also, did you know this movie accidentally ripped off A True Story's ending of a character's "MaGiC tEaRs" bringing another character back to life?
For the root beer scene, they could have done something like, "Here's some" root beer" *wink*" " Rootbeer? " "Oh like ya mother is gonna find out. Just drink it. It's good." Stays true to the message and its "censored".
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 i don't even think they had a choice here. With the new tv laws or some shit, you can't even MENTION alcohol and drugs, not even if you imply that it's a bad thing
The original pinocchio was literally a horror movie for kids and is the only Disney film that matches the original purpose of fairy tales, which was to impart moral lessons to children by showing the horrific consequences to their actions. The CGI cat is the scariest thing in this film other than just how bad the film is.
@@atomicnumber202 I think they made a preservation somewere, my family had a very old copy and that's how i knew about it before it became known on the internet. Keep in mind the hanged version is the very VERY first version, then Collodi changed it because people felt it was too dark. The meaning behind the first version was that if you disobeyed you risked getting kidnapped by the "briganti"
To answer your question about why every scene in this movie feels like it was greenscreened/overuses CGI, it's because practical effects artists and puppeteers are unionized and VFX artists are not. Which makes the puppeteer lady's role in the film regarding overworked but underpaid workers far more hypocritical than usual.
oof, that's terrible to hear. all because companies want to exploit workers, the entire art form continues to suffer as a result. typical, but so disappointing
Pinocchio was ahead of It's time. It's a piece of art that should be remembered forever. This new movie It's just a shell, dirty propaganda and an insult to Walt Disney and the original team that created a Masterpiece.
@@TheLazyFusspot_3428 Yeah, even if I wanted a live action remake to anything, I would want it to be free of woke agendas and political garbage, even man hating rubbish.
The same could be said by all of the remakes to an extent. Even the better ones were made to make money based off of childhood nostalgia to some degree, but at least they were good on their own. I'm super proud of Tom Hank for his role in the remake though, I personally think he was really good as Gepetto.
It's not like you can't watch the original animated Pinocchio movie just because they made a live action adaptation for children doesn't mean it's going to replace the original animated version Disney's not going to take the original way from you calm down it'll be okay I think there's a lot more in this world that's worth crying over then movies made for children
I honestly hate the way the new fairy looks. She is so bright that she looks like she isn't part of the room, she looks more like a ghost than a fairy and also what's up with her hair looking glowy? They could have taken so many steps in making a mor magical design, like giving her elf ears (tinker bell style) but no, we just make her look like a horrible photoshop project. And since they decided to go for a dark skinned actor, they should have AT LEAST bothered to make her design fit her instead of making her almost invisible due to the clours being way too bright, taking away from her.
The CGI in avengers didn't look so great either but again what does it matter they're all movies made for children if you love The Pinocchio maybe so much you got the classic animation movie to watch don't worry they're not going to take that away from you because they made a live action adaptation remake it's still going to exist
@@MissHeidi103 Either you're on disney made copium, or you're some normie who think he's on the moral high ground by staying "neutral", which is even more hypocritical
The true merit of this remake is people making comparisons to the original and realising how intelligent and well-crafted the earlier version actually is.
No see, that's the genius of it all. Disney's playing the long game--making intentionally shit live-action remakes of their classics to give people a newfound appreciation of the originals. I never realized just how tightly-written and masterfully told the story of Lion King was until I saw it get botched in the CGI version.
@@robertlauncher It wasn't the art of filming that was bad about the movie. It was the art of writing that was bad. A good filming crew with a bad story ...will still produce a bad movie no matter how talented they are.
I bet they made the Blue Fairy black just to get some free "diversity" points even though they reduced her role to practically nothing. Makes her more easy to edit out for international releases.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy Generally, those who advertise their virtue the loudest are the ones who have the least of it. Virtue is self evident through actions, words and propaganda are worthless
4:59... She literally tells him what to do to become a real boy. THen she teaches him a lesson on lying and sets him free. Then she lets him know Gipetto was swallowed by Monstro and finally she turns him into a real boy. She definitely contributed a lot to the original film. It's my favorite Disney film of all time but this remake was fucking dreadful. Pinocchio does nothing wrong. nothing that can establish a satisfying character arc. He never learns a lesson. He's just dragged into bad situations. The scene when he sets himself free by lying is so atrocious. Fuck this film and it pains me to say it since I was excited for it
@@dratelectasis what I meant to say (but didn't) in the first segment, would be more along the lines of "she is a simple character who only has a few scenes". Also thanks for watching
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy Disney want's to making everything woke for some reason????? I think the only reason why effort was put in the Jungle Book remake, is because the original had very little story. So even Disney didn't want to do the exact same thing.
Sighs ...do you know why the blue fairy did less in this movie ....I believe it's because they believe they had a smarter audience. I mean ...her interventions were stupid and useless in the original movie. It's like she liked to watch Pinocchio suffer..and didn't care who else got hurt. That is why they gave her part to a freaking bird who wouldn't care and be literally unable to stop it. SHe frees him and teaches him about lying. Yet, she doesn't teleport him home or even bother to let his father know where he is. She tell Pinocchio ...a boy she consider to be so helpless that she appoints a cricket as his conscious....where his father is to rescue him. The same kid she had to get out of a cage earlier in the movie. The blue fairy is as close to being another villian in that movie as the other villians are, and her sin is simply neglect and child endangerment. She didn't turn Pinnochio into a real boy because he earn it. SHe did it to absolve herself of the guilt of all the crimes she had commited to that little wooden boy.
Pinocchio (2022) was so boring and pointless, it's definitely like they didn't get the point the animated version wanted to make. Even the Jiminy Cricket animator, when he saw that it was going to be like a real insect he said "so ugly", and made it more adorable, and here for some reason someone thought it would be better to make it realistic.. A live action of Pinocchio could have been incredible if they had taken it from another perspective so as not to repeat the same as the animated one, like Gepetto's perspective, or make it more realistic without ugly animals made in CGI.
That animator by the way was Ward Kimball, one of Disney's 9 Old Men. He has a great career working at Disney on such characters like the Crows from Dumbo, the god of wine Baccus in the Pastoral sequence of Fantasia, also animation some characters from Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and many others. Also he directed the Disney shorts Toot, Whistle Plunk, and Boom, and It's Tough to Be a Bird, both winning Academy Awards. He also was one of the founding members of the Dixieland band named Firehouse Five Plus Two playing the trombone and shared a vast interest in locomotives just like Walt did.
The thing about glowing water in monstro is disney being too clever. Certain planktons glow bright colors when disturbed. Since whales eat planktons this makes sense. Which means is monstro a whale or a monster? Disney you got some splainin to do.
@@SolarBrain4128 But if he eats plankton, why are his teeth big and sharp, instead of thin strands that would be ideal for filter feeding something as small as plankton
I never really considered Monstro a villain and still say Pinnochio doesn't have a specific villain (Honest John is closest) but Monstro is just a whale-like creature doing whale things. He's reasonably pissed when they light a fire in his mouth...wouldn't anybody?
Don't forget the lack of build up to Monstro. Pinocchio walking in the ocean and asking to find Monstro only to see all the fish getting terrified builds it up well. We didn't see that here. Only thing I'll disagree with on this whole video is Jiminy's look. I like that they TRIED to make him look like the cartoon. Had they not, they'd get more shit.
Honestly, I'd much rather watch the _other_ Pinocchio movie if given the choice. You know, the one that goes: "fATheR whEn cAn i lEAvE tO Be oN mY OWn i'VE gOt thE wHOle wOrLD To SeE"
I had some semblance of hope for the new coachman with how much he was pressuring Pinocchio. In a better movie, he'd be a good allegory for Lucifer. The way he follows Pinocchio and Lampwick around, pops out of the scenery, hands them "root beer," etc, had very strong "lead them to temptation" vibes. I was waiting for the story to change so that he personally convinces the children to give into their vices, offers them a deal to never have to listen to their parents or go to school ever again, and shake their hands/offer them a contract and once they agree to his terms they turn into donkeys. They seemed to make him vaguely supernatural in the movie but didn't commit. Tbh I got major pedo vibes. He rolls up in his cart (which is technically windowless), snatches up kids, and takes them back to his lair where he constantly observes them and plies them with soda and candy. This man is every stranger danger ad rolled into one poor performance.
Same. Worse part it that could have worked, especially after I had to take a course on HUMAN TRAFFICKING AWARENESS for my job. With how scarily commonplace it is (and how draining mentally that whole course was... seriously nightmarish stuff... and the person who narrated the course was a victim of it herself... it was... god... heartbreaking), the coachmen could have been a perfect allegory for stranger danger/human traffickers/paed0phelia. The coachman could be like to Pinocchio "hey, all these kids and I are going to a fun place! Wanna come? All these kids agreed". And he, out of curiosity and temptation, could be like "sure!" He can act all friendly and even... fatherlike... to a Pinocchio who is worried that he isn't loved. Or even if he isn't worried that he isn't loved, he doesn't quite have the experience to know that you shouldn't go into someone you know's car... or cart in this case... He's just lured in by a seemingly friendly guy who has all the proof he's gonna take these kids someplace fun. Only for his true colors to be coming out slowly but surely. And even the kids who are turning into donkeys maybe don't even notice it at first. Fur on arms? Just a part of growing up obviously. Long ears and a tail? Surely there's an explanation. They know they're turning but they don't see anything wrong with it... yet... Heck Pinocchio also starts to turn without knowing or thinking about it at first because "This friendly coachman is turning me into a donkey? Please! He would NEVER do that, he's such a nice guy! This kids are probably right. This most likely just happens to real boys." as kind of an allegory on how victims don't always realize they're victims or think about it even with the signs until it's too late sadly. And maybe he gets scarily close up until his friend fully turns and is panicked. That's when we get the donkey selling scene with massive amount of adults who may be betting on buying them. Pinocchio leaves... but sadly the other donkeys don't really have a chance to leave... because that's how it is.... It would be similar yet different from the original and yet still have that dark atmosphere that not all is well. It can be equally as nightmarish and play into that adult fear aspect while playing to some themes of the original.
@@ayamestitcheskurta Walt Disney Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios and maybe Marvel and Star Wars are carrying the bigger Walt Disney Studios right now.
Maybe if they made it something like Hook, as in a movie that expands/remixes the ideas of the original in a creative way, instead of being the same while trying to change it in the most cringey way possible(as in either over woke or just changing things that ruin how good the original was in certain aspects).
At this point, Disney is pretty much split in two: There’s that magic side that gave us the charming movies, fun tv shows, endearing characters and the overall thing we love about Disney. And then there’s the corporative side that only cares about money and profit (trying to buy every company, limiting access to their content to streaming, pandering to the Chinese market, the list goes on). Sadly, most of the artists that gave us what we loved have passed away by now. Disney’s corporative side is growing and it shows. Walt must me rolling in his grave seeing what his own company has done.
From what I heared, Walt was somewhere inbetween these two extremes. That the greedy side that wants to own everything takes over more and more is just peak irony to me, considering the company owns the rights to Kingdom Hearts and there are characters in that IP that won't shut up about how darkness is the true nature of everything.
If you watch the documentary for Pinocchio, you would understand just how hard they worked to make sure this movie was brilliant. You can just feel how hard they worked in every scene. This? You can just feel more than the other live action movies that they do not care. The people defending this movie are absolutely insane. Some of the stuff they are saying is aggravating.
Pinocchio was and is still one of - if not the best animated feature ever made. Remember when Monstro was chasing them? Pinocchio and Geppetto were paddling for their lives. You can feel the urgency and desperation. Now, Pinocchio can slip away from Monstro with ease while his legs somehow turn into propellers.
I wish they'd put some more effort into the Blue Fairy's costume design. The actress is gorgeous, and I think she really captures that majestic and ethereal vibe of the character. But it looks like the costume designers just copied and pasted the Blue Fairy's dress from the original, and it makes her look out-of-place to me. The cold blue isn't the best color on her, and the obnoxiously bright glow actually makes it hard for me to see her face when she's against a darker background. If they'd just put in a little more creative effort and designed a costume that really complimented Cynthia Erivo's appearance, the Blue Fairy would've probably been the best-looking character in the entire remake. Every other bad decision for this movie I can be disgusted/angry/amused at, but the lazy costume design just makes me sad.
@The_Elemental_Guardian Agreed- I think they could’ve went complex with a lot of feathers like an angel, or simple and dragonfly-like. In between is kind of strange.
@@nickg5341 Pretty much, it was moreso that Cynthia is a famous actress that landed her the role than some “woke pandering”, they were just able to use it as a business ploy, bad attention is still attention.
@@thelanktheist2626 Or alternatively people could just take the word woke out of their vocabulary and spend their time and energy complaining about things that actually matter instead of soulless corporate products
“You have value the way you are, no need to try to turn into something you’re not” is a good message! Not original or anything, but good! …But not when posed as an alternative/“fixed” version of a story whose original message is “people aren’t born knowing how to do the right thing in all situations, but learning that is a necessary part of meaningfully growing up and realizing your potential as a person”. Like, self-acceptance and self-improvement aren’t mutually exclusive. Man I do not care about Disney these days, but I can’t help but be interested in these Pinocchio reviews because of just how weird and on the nose (no pun intended) this remake seems to be in particular about not having any clue what the point of the source material was and apparently having so clearly zero idea what it’s doing as a result. At least the others had their flimsy “we want to flesh out a character or two who didn’t need to be sympathetic”, “this is a war story so what if we sucked the fun out of it”, “this is about animals so let’s make it look like a real-life nature show, never mind that that presentation really doesn’t work for a musical” excuses (emphasis on “flimsy”).
You know the film is trying to be some sort of Fix-Fic of the original Pinocchio the moment we see the clocks in Gepetto's workshop. In the original there was this (rather weird) clock of a woman spanking a child. In the new version the clock is there but there's now a policeman that puts his baton on the way to stop her like they are going "Okay, see, we are NOT condoning spanking children now!"
The only part Tom Hanks made me genuinely laugh in this movie was when Pinocchio told him everything he did and Tom just "....YOU DID ALL THAT IN ONE DAY!?"
I think the worst crime no one seems to mention is the puppets are able to change their facial expressions and blink which is not possible if it was a real life puppet not to mention the dance moves they do would tangle up the strings
It was too ambiguous as to whether or not Sabine the puppet was also sentient, which was dumb, because Pinocchio is supposed to be the ONLY sentient puppet!
Who are you referring to? If you’re referring to Pinocchio then your post holds no ground as he’s magically brought to life and so he can blink and change his facial expressions
1940 Classic Disney Animated film: A nose that grows upon telling lies was a curse cast upon Pinocchio by the Blue Fairy to punish and discipline him into learning the value of Honesty. 2022 Realistic Disney+ Remake film: A nose that grows upon telling lies is a fucking My Hero Academia Quirk!
@@gasterthemaster6490 That also works as well! I think Pinocchio should challenge Jojo Sonic the Hedgehog to a chili dog eating contest with his Hotdog Stand to one up Dio Shadow the Hedgehog.
- The Blue Fairy looks good (I like the idea of making her look like she's a star, or like she's made of stardust) but Erivo's hyperactive performance and the lack of majesty given to the character, going for an easier comedy route, made the attempt fail - The idea of making the struggle about whether or not to become a real boy would have worked the best in a full re-imagining, in the vein of Cruella or Maleficent, not a copy-paste job of the original movie - There's some neat ideas with Honest John and Gideon (I love how his apparently elegant cloak is made out of a tent, Scarlet o'Hara style), but Keegan Michael Key's performance is even more hyperactive than Erivo's and he NEVER interacts with Gideon. Why was he even there, mallet aside? - Why cut the songs? They ALL slap. Especially an Actor's Life For Me. - Lampwick was overtly mean, even for the character - Tom Hanks just sounded half-asleep... at least we know who hogged all the caffeine, but still.
Also in the original she was always present, even if she wasn't onscreen. You could feel her always watching and testing Pinocchio as a constant presence. She helps Pinocchio be held accountable for his actions as well as reward him when he acknowledges how much he messes up. Along with Jimminy, she's the moral compass of the movie and her power is so significant, she doesn't even need to be onscreen the whole film. Here? She's there for one scene and then she peaces out. Okay...so what was even the point of her then?
I just want to add as well, look at the lighting of the blue fairy scene of this film compared to the original. Doesn't it look so cold, dark and blue? Look at how warm and inviting the candle-lit original is by comparison. Doesn't the fairy feel so much more comforting and angelic in that lighting? The remake makes the room look so... cold. And her wings look like they would feel freezing to stand next to. :(
I know, I literally had to increase the brightness on the dark clips so they could actually be seen in the video (I think I missed one on accident though).
Also, while Cinderella is my favorite from Walt’s era, Pinocchio is really up there. I especially like how much of a dark fable it is when you consider the feature devision was known for Snow White. Not as dark as the source material, but darker than most people probably thought Disney would go at the time
*grabs telephone* Hello, is this the electric company? I just found a solution to our power issues: Go to Walt Disney's grave with a turbine and power cords!
I was wondering if Tom Hanks was really that bad in this movie,turns out they were right,that's low from him. I watched it in italian and the voice actor really improved his performance
I don't mind Monstro's species being changed. He was a giant dogfish in the novel anyway, rather than a whale. Once again falls into the category of "More accurate completely on accident," but still.
As someone who loves the 1940 Pinocchio, I feel that Stromboli is the ideal representation for the greedy, corporate, two-faced and above all bad side of Disney. Mainly because of how they care more for the profits they get as opposed to the craft the present.
I haven't seen any live action Disney remakes. Live action is a gimmick. A gimmick that doesn't allow for the characters, and worlds to be more fantastic and fun. It doesn't enhance the story in any way. It's just an excuse to rehash for more money. Remaking old stories isn't always bad. But it has to be done with love for the original and a reason to exist besides money.
I like how Pinocchio can retract his long nose at will.... Forget the moral message against lying.... And I miss the way his nose literally turns into a tree branch complete with birds nest.
This is like the sixth video essay about how bad this movie is that I've watched, and it's BY FAR the best. The editing and narration is phenomenal. You are criminally underrated, sir.
I don't watch anything Disney anymore. I'm so done with them, it's not even funny. If someone had forced me to watch this in theaters, (if it actually WAS in theaters) and they SOMEHOW convinced me to stay seated, I still would've stormed out the moment I heard that "CHRIS PINE!!!" 😖💥🔫
tbh same, while the remakes are by far the worst things theyre making their other movies arent very good either with only some rare decent movies. even ones that people say are good i havent seen like encanto since just not interested also fed up with the same style wish they would bring drawn animation back.
I do genuinely believe that this movie is as bad or worse as "The Last Airbender." It's that same level of 'Did a human being write this????' It is the only movie I've ever seen that is SO bad that I don't understand how it could be made. WHY is the dialogue so fast, with not even a pause or breath between characters talking? WHY does this feel worse than a movie a five-year-old could make?
Imagine (I'm just saying) imagine if instead of cheap CW levels of CGI, they used an actual high end wooden string puppet for the role? How vastly improved would the movie be? How unique would it be with it's wooden protagonist?
Did anyone else notice that Jiminy also made cricket sounds WHENEVER he jumped? Crickets don't make that noise when they jump. It was really distracting up until we realized the movie was just terrible in general and we shut it off.
Im convinced that nowadays, directors and publishers are simply too scared to have a character be flawed, have them make mistakes and learn from them to have character development Nope, instead they gotta be pitch perfect in every single way and have the WORLD be the flaw rather than the character itself So pathetic...
Thank god for this review. I had to stop watching the movie cause it was so bad. You just saved an hour and a 1/2 of my life that I wouldn't have been able to get back.
The scene with the man coming by late at night asking to purchase one of the clocks does serve a purpose, although it's not a very good or well-developed one. It sets up this idea that despite having made all these intricate cuckoo clocks, Geppetto doesn't want to sell them, presumably because they remind him of his late wife and son. Later in the movie when Pinocchio and Jiminy return to his house, they notice that all the clocks are gone. The seagull informs them that he sold all the clocks to be able to buy a boat to go looking for Pinocchio because finding Pinocchio was more important to Geppetto than those clocks. Technically, it does serve a purpose. It's a flimsy purpose that feels very undercooked, but it does count as a setup with a payoff even if the payoff is admittedly unsatisfying.
29:15 i can explain this. The blue Tunnel was actually the afterlife. none of them survived. It just taking time for all of them to know they are dead. Chepetto Died from drowning, Goldy died from Salt Water Contamination, Figaro died from the impact of the damage from the boat, rocks and Monstro, and Pinocchio...well he's a ghost too since he never really did turn into a real boy. Just a manifestation of what he sees.
this remake in particular very much feels like every single person working on it didn't want to be there. i can feel the absolute frustration seep through the writing, and even the special effects are half-assed in a way we don't always see from disney (although i'm not saying the sfx for other remakes is spectacular LMAO). if there was ever any passion at all from the people working on this movie, the big execs (who most likely put them on a time crunch) crushed it under the heels of their boots.
Let's see, a story about a child who faces prejudice, tags along with bad companions out of necessity or lack of options, and is already good but goes through a flat character arc to maintain said goodness in the face of adversity. Something tells me Zemeckis can't tell the difference between Pinocchio and Oliver Twist.
I watched this entire video from start to ending without skipping or pausing once. Everything you said was so spot on and well articulated in my opinion. Really good work you put into this man! P.s, if you wanna watch Pinocchio, watch the original 1940 version. It's a thousand times better for sure.
I think this is the biggest insult to the man himself, Walt Disney. He and his team did the best they could at the time to deliver the best movie possible and how do they treat a movie that is pretty much responsible to their empire entire existance? Remake it in the most bland and cheap way possible. Good job, clowns.
O.K. So I've been ruminating on the remake's Pleasure Island for a bit and it hit me why it's such a massive downgrade next to Pinocchio's aggravating goodness: if root beer's supposed to suck *that* badly, why aren't the kids sugar-crazed little demons? Why aren't they more caffeine than people?! Instead they're just kind of smashing shit and hurling "insults", which is...what adults do, but on a smaller scale.
the secret as to why like 99% of all live-action disney movies are just greenscreen now is because set designers, costume designers, and special effects crews all have unions... but CGI animators don't.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy unions pretty much give the workers more rights, higher wages and better benefits, it's really easy to get fired for dumb reasons if you are not unionized. And the most important one is that if they are in a union they are allowed to fight back against unfair work environments
To answer your thing on the blue fairy, yes her moments are short but do serve a purpose in how she's basically the mother figure for Pinocchio. If you note the way she interacts with him she talks to him like a mother
Like I didn’t first hear that from this video, so I’m not sure what he’s gonna say yet, but here’s my two cents. Pinocchio is not a story themed around found family or anything like that. It is about becoming a real person by becoming a good person. Him becoming a real boy is already symbolic, you only stand to lose effectiveness in this fairytale by taking the magic out and changing that ending to just… not be.
This is a really weird compliment to make but I feel that your voice is perfect for rant videos. Especially the "nah I'm gonna go to school!" and the "and he scoops Pinocchio into his coach!" made me laugh so much
Walt himself was a smoker, but detested the habit and made it a rule not to ever do it in front of children and not to have it ever be depicted _as a good thing_ in his films. Modern Disney instead has a "no tobacco ever" rule, even for the biography film of the man himself. Weak sauce.
I think the Pleasure Island scene was doomed to fail from the start. Like you said "Disney will NEVER!!!!!!! show something that Dark again". And this movie just prooves you are right. The entire style of the Original, just don't fit the slightest for what Disney shows us now. Not that I hate Disney for that, it is just sad, because these are the movies that stay in your mind FOREVER! It is sad, that they don't let the Creators show us something so real again.
“How can you fail at getting the moral ‘Lying is wrong’ right?” Wellllll it is Hollywood. Should also be noted that the coachman in the original has his hair curl into devil horns in that plotting scene, symbolizing his role in the morality play. Movie’s really good. This one ain’t
I feel Disney not having faith on their original 2D animation is their philosophy currently where their “adult” movies are live action and loaded with sfx from crunched artists. Didn’t Disney get their start by animation? Also all of disneys 3D animated movies along with Pixar’s animated films feel very samey. At least Sony and dreamworks try to make new things I would rather take more movies like the bad guys or spiderverse. As far as I am concerned artistry in Disney has died a long time ago. Imagine if Disney started to make new hand drawn 2D movies. Who watches these live action remakes? If they were going to do it why not remake the movies that deserve remakes.
I think Blue Fairy’s new design is actually pretty cool (I like the flowing glittering outfit) but it is weird that she doesn’t show up in the birdcage scene
One thing that doesn't work in the new version is how Pinnochio's nose grows when he lies despite the Blue Fairy's absence. Even as a kid, because of the magic sparkles that appear seconds before his nose grows, I knew it was the Blue Fairy doing that. She was telling Pinnochio that she KNEW he was lying and was showing him up for it until it's so long he can't ignore it any more and apologises. She wanted him to learn.
Eh, I never assumed that. In the original book it grows when he lies even when the fairy isn't present (granted, the book is inconsistent on this point, and it only grows when he lies about certain things rather than after every lie, but still)
The amount of time and care that Walt Disney and his crew put into the original Pinocchio is nothing short of remarkable, and in the end I think it paid off. Even though it can be outdated from a storytelling standpoint (using tropes that have since become the subject of parody) , it still remains one of my favorite animated movies. If Walt Disney saw this remake, he'd probably turn everyone who worked on it into donkeys!
I knew they were going to make it and I even expected the fox to look like this, but I didn't know it would be like this and they actually did it without paying respect to the old version.
I agree with just about everything you said, and at first I agreed the whole motivation for Geppetto going to sea, but when you remember that Pleasure island is supposed too be a secret place no one knows about, then it all falls apart completely. Anyway great video, love the Super Paper Mario music, that games a classic 👌
Everyone is so afraid to comment on one thing, and that is race of the fairy, I am going to do that, cuz it shines light on a bigger issue in AAA entertainment in general. we all know the black fairy is there to tick the representation bucket list, but is that good representation? or has it been forcefully shoved in without any second thought, arguably hand fisted representation is worse then no representation at all, you have literally become a checklist, if ur a black person, how do u not feel insulted? im asian, i feel insulted each time some bullshit white guys in hollywood turn me and my culture into a checkmark on a bucket list, and also insulted when some twitter journalist praises them for turning me into a check mark, people made the fairy the way she is, just so they can pat themselves on the back in the moment, is that really a good choice? 70 years later, would people look at that and go, yeah, that was a good choice, or would people be cringing themselves out the same way as we see jim crow today, id argue that this IS, in fact a form of modern jim crow, a fairy, is arguably an european mythological creature, why would a european fairly tale creature sport that hair style, and be black? WELL TO CHECK A CHECKMARK OF COURSE, - and it is at this point, that the viewers get pulled away from the immersion of the story, and gets their face shoved full of present day politics, i am all for representaion, but representaion should be good, why doesnt hollywood make another movie such as the king of egypt. or something from african history, theres so many beautiful stories and characters from cultures of racial minorities, mansa musa, alessandro medicci prince ramajana, every chinese historical period, these could all be done so well into good entertainment and good representation, or if u wanna go abstract, look at the sci fi show, the expanse, it does ratial representaion really well, the members of UN are from all over the place, the beltars themselfes have a lot of minority groups. yet non of them feel hand shoved, beacuse there is a in universe reason for their race, I really hope the younger black generation of creators stand up for themselves, and stop eating the shit that some white executive shoves down their throat, to shut everyone up and claim the "representation card" and we should help them as well, vote with your wallet, and stop giving hollywood money and patting them for this type of modern jim crow, edit: OH LMAO, U DO TALK ABOUT IT, aaa, I will leave it here tho,
Pinocchio lying to escape is a rip off of the joke from Shrek 2. However, the reason it worked in Shrek 2 was because Pinocchio tried to lie at first when be said "I am wearing lady's underwear", but his nose didn't grow which meant he was wearing lady's underwear. He was now lying to hide the embarrassment which still managed to free Shrek and his buddies.
To the people who claim that Disney's 1940 adaptation ruins the point of Collodi's 1883 book the film was based off of ,just show them this film ... It's an insult to both the 1940 classic AND ESPECIALLY to Carlo Collodi's book ... Disney:We're gonna cast a diverse actress to play the Blue fairy Also Disney:cuts off most of her screen time I bet that's what they do to the Little Mermaid remake ...The 1989 film was ok ,though had a very flawed script ,but it was at lest good ( somewhat ) ... I assure you that each remake it's gonna suck harder than the last
I've always preferred the Collodi story, but I know the 1940 Pinocchio is a work of art from start to finish. It's beautiful (especially the water animation), the songs are classics, and the story has a lot of emotion.
Also this needed its own comment because as a cat lover I was very disappointed that Figaro was CGI. And not only CGI but strange CGI and he was tiny (I know he is small in the original, but he is super small in this version). He also had like one third the personality he had in the original version and no miniature human bed to sleep in. Anyway I just thought I would advocate for my furry friend. 😸
I cant believe Geppetto wasnt already eaten by Monstro in this abomination.... And for what reason? A lame one-liner?? The desperation of Pinocchio and his father was already quite apparent. And that was a beautiful description of Pinocchio using fire against Monstro.
This movie I think shows my biggest complaint with new remakes. That movies are scared of having genuine moments. Instead they just decide to make stuff either "funnier" or they tone down the scene so much that it muddies the initial point of the scene. (Which is how I feel about Cats, 2019.) It's just frustrating seeing that Disney no longer wants scenes with genuine moments (like any of the Blue Fairy scenes) and instead scraps them for scenes that I guess are supposed to be funny? Some of Disney's best and most iconic scenes are the scenes where characters are vulnerable or are having a genuinely emotional moment.
How could they take the whole premise of Pinocchio wanting to become a real boy, something that is so extremely plainly obviously allegorical to becoming a real functioning decent human and not just a basically lifeless husk that exists to simply satisfy himself, and assume that it was to be taken completely literally saying "Well Pinocchio shouldn't HAVE to become a real boy to be loved! He should be loved how he is!" I've never seen a remake completely miss the message of it's original so completely blatantly
Wait, what if this is all a fever dream Tom Hanks had as Castaway. That's right, nothing but a horrible nightmare that will just fade away into the ether.....
I genuinely don't know if it is possible for Disney to make a remake worse than this one
The fact that this came after the Mulan remake is proof they can always get worse
Sounds to me like, their problem with the blue fairy is that she was a white blondie. No, the blue fairy in the cartoon had a much gentler look and voice.
Disney: Hold my 'Root' Beer.... Challenge accepted"
they will wait till cares live action remake
Imagine if they remade Song of the South and they tried to fix the racist elements but in such an insensitive way that it becomes more racist
I think that would be worse
The scene of Pinocchio using smoke to escape Monstro is especially poignant when you realize that earlier in the original movie, Pinocchio himself got sick from smoking. Ultimately, the thing that makes Pinocchio a real boy...is his capability to learn and grow from his own mistakes.
The two M's in this movie that describe the original film: mischief and moral.
The other two M's (for the remake): monstrosity and a mistake
I completely agree, he became a real boy because he learned from his mistakes and tried to use his new knowledge to help those he cared about. He has character growth from a selfish boy who puts himself first to a boy who risked his own life for his family.
I think the issue is now; many filmakers disrespect their audience in that they think people are too stupid to understand things and make those connections. So; they practically reach out of the screen and slap you with explinations and messages. Thus causing the problem they create with critics. So the critics bomb review a movie without a message beating you over the head and inflate the oposite. Filmakers chase the reviewers; not realising (or not caring… im leaning towards the latter) that people dont listen to them anymore. Its a feedback loop of insanity tbh. Unless of course this was a move just to retain the rights and they have no care to actually make a decent film. There us that option too
@@Edwinaopt
You are kidding right.
1st off, Pinnochio was suppose to be a complete innocent...who knew nothing about the world. Instead, the idea you got from the original movie is that all boys are naturally naughty. Pinoccho in the original was selfish, vain, and cruel. His only achievement was saving his own father who he put into danger ....after discovering the world wasn't a nice place and him finally wanting to go back to the safety of his family. IF any one of those events he encountered hadn't be utterly horrible ...Pinocchio would have left the old puppet maker behind to die by whale.
He never earn the right to be a real boy...he was just turned into one for the sake of the story.
I like that it wasn't as simply as the orignal movie made it to turn him into a real boy. That him endangering his own life for his father, when ...he put the man into danger in the first place, wasn't a good enough criteria to instantly get him boyhood. Once again, I see the main problem everyone seem to have with this movie is that the blue fairy doesn't have a lot of hair and they had actual children drink rootbeer. What a sin.
Hhihj just job joh huhijjjjijjij
The puppeteer woman is the actual big Virtue signal of this movie. She's there to be a beleaguered employee who is overworked and underpaid and is there to make a message about treating your workers humanely.
In a movie made by DISNEY.
They REALLY practice what they preach, am I right?
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy
Just ask Gina Carrano
Right? Well said!
@@austinreed7343 getting fired for being bigoted towards other employees is not really an example of workers being treated horribly. you really went for one of the ONLY examples of them doing something good
@@mischr13
No it isn’t. The Owl House is an example of something good.
Lesson of old Pinocchio: Be good and don’t lie or bad stuff will happen
Lesson of new Pinocchio: Bad stuff happens no matter how good you are
At least that’s how I see it
So basically no lesson at all, lol.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy I mean there is
Just not for the kids
Corporate are evil rich people who want keep wanting more money by milking that cash cow and then making steak once the cash cow is dead
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy well, possibly. It could the lesson is its okay to lie sometimes in order to get what you want.
Bad stuff happening no matter what isn't even a bad message per se, but you gotta supplement it with a message along the lines of "that's no excuse to be bad yourself" or something like that.
Which this movie absolutely does not
Except good people are the ones who get abused so you can't be both pure good and intelligent, you don't have to be bad
Jimminy Cricket: "I know the true story of Pinocchio."
Meanwhile in Jimminy's brain: "Father, when can I finally be on my own, I've got the whole world to see!"
You are too special Pinocchio!
Well at least Pinocchio isn't an irredeemable monster and it didn't take him so long to realize
That movie is legitimately better than this movie.
Also, did you know this movie accidentally ripped off A True Story's ending of a character's "MaGiC tEaRs" bringing another character back to life?
Skidee skidee skidee
The Shrek Pinocchio was more accurate to the original then the new one
At least that one *actually* became a real boy!
yeah and that pinocchio wore a thong
For the root beer scene, they could have done something like,
"Here's some" root beer" *wink*"
" Rootbeer? "
"Oh like ya mother is gonna find out. Just drink it. It's good."
Stays true to the message and its "censored".
tbh there was no point in censoring it bc every kid knows what getting drunk and what wine/beer is
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 i don't even think they had a choice here. With the new tv laws or some shit, you can't even MENTION alcohol and drugs, not even if you imply that it's a bad thing
@@elgatitokawai55 Technically steaming is not television
@@ForrestFox626 True. With that said this is modern Disney we’re talking about. They work very hard to be ad friendly.
@@elgatitokawai55 These laws would make more sense if homosexuals were banned in children's entertainment.
Now I am really hoping that Guillermo Del Toro’s version is a hit and get awards. It would be the best middle finger ever to this movie.
I think Del Toro's version did. And well deserved💕
@@xaikochan90x it isn't out yet. But I think we all know that it will be better than Disney's remake.
@@SolarBrain4128 There's a difference between being better and DOING better when it comes to movies, lol.
aged like wine
Just watched it. Best, Pinocchio adaptation, ever.
The original pinocchio was literally a horror movie for kids and is the only Disney film that matches the original purpose of fairy tales, which was to impart moral lessons to children by showing the horrific consequences to their actions. The CGI cat is the scariest thing in this film other than just how bad the film is.
Funnily enough, Pinocchio is hanged in the book, the fact that people know the Disney Pinocchio more than the Italian novel pisses me off so much
not for kids, all ages
I find Honest John's design creepier than Figaro's personally
@@orlandofurioso7329 Wait can I still find the original Italian novel?
@@atomicnumber202 I think they made a preservation somewere, my family had a very old copy and that's how i knew about it before it became known on the internet. Keep in mind the hanged version is the very VERY first version, then Collodi changed it because people felt it was too dark. The meaning behind the first version was that if you disobeyed you risked getting kidnapped by the "briganti"
To answer your question about why every scene in this movie feels like it was greenscreened/overuses CGI, it's because practical effects artists and puppeteers are unionized and VFX artists are not. Which makes the puppeteer lady's role in the film regarding overworked but underpaid workers far more hypocritical than usual.
oof, that's terrible to hear. all because companies want to exploit workers, the entire art form continues to suffer as a result. typical, but so disappointing
and the hypocrisy is on another level
Not only that but Disney is explicitly beefing with the puppeteer union. It's why there are no more puppet shiws at the Disney parks
@@mischr13 Unions exploit its workers because its legal.
Pinocchio was ahead of It's time. It's a piece of art that should be remembered forever. This new movie It's just a shell, dirty propaganda and an insult to Walt Disney and the original team that created a Masterpiece.
I'm just honestly glad the remake exists. It's just a constant reminder that we should never watch remakes again.
@@TheLazyFusspot_3428 Yeah, even if I wanted a live action remake to anything, I would want it to be free of woke agendas and political garbage, even man hating rubbish.
The same could be said by all of the remakes to an extent. Even the better ones were made to make money based off of childhood nostalgia to some degree, but at least they were good on their own.
I'm super proud of Tom Hank for his role in the remake though, I personally think he was really good as Gepetto.
Oh I’m all for insulting Walt. But this new movie is indeed a shell.
It's not like you can't watch the original animated Pinocchio movie just because they made a live action adaptation for children doesn't mean it's going to replace the original animated version Disney's not going to take the original way from you calm down it'll be okay I think there's a lot more in this world that's worth crying over then movies made for children
I honestly hate the way the new fairy looks. She is so bright that she looks like she isn't part of the room, she looks more like a ghost than a fairy and also what's up with her hair looking glowy? They could have taken so many steps in making a mor magical design, like giving her elf ears (tinker bell style) but no, we just make her look like a horrible photoshop project. And since they decided to go for a dark skinned actor, they should have AT LEAST bothered to make her design fit her instead of making her almost invisible due to the clours being way too bright, taking away from her.
I think they wanted to make her look like a star...
I'm guessing diversity, but the original was, imo, was very pretty
Yeah she looks like a ghost from The Haunted Mansion
@@tiamystic Lol she does!
Magical bald black
Wow...the CGI looks absolutely terrible
It looks like some beginner's project; not bad, but needs a lot of work
The CGI in avengers didn't look so great either but again what does it matter they're all movies made for children if you love The Pinocchio maybe so much you got the classic animation movie to watch don't worry they're not going to take that away from you because they made a live action adaptation remake it's still going to exist
@@MissHeidi103 A movie being for kids isn't an excuse for crappy CGI.
@@MissHeidi103 the poor grammar in this sentence is brilliant XD
@@MissHeidi103 Either you're on disney made copium, or you're some normie who think he's on the moral high ground by staying "neutral", which is even more hypocritical
-You were kicked out of school, I guess you have to be an actor
-Or a movie writer
The true merit of this remake is people making comparisons to the original and realising how intelligent and well-crafted the earlier version actually is.
I always knew it was amazing, but I'm glad to see more people appreciating it in hindsight.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy
Sighs ...everything looks better when you are hating on something. Even the crappy original movie ....which was not better.
No see, that's the genius of it all. Disney's playing the long game--making intentionally shit live-action remakes of their classics to give people a newfound appreciation of the originals. I never realized just how tightly-written and masterfully told the story of Lion King was until I saw it get botched in the CGI version.
@@letb5569 Yeah no. You probably know very little of the art of filmmaking if you think Pinocchio 1940 is a bad movie.
@@robertlauncher It wasn't the art of filming that was bad about the movie. It was the art of writing that was bad. A good filming crew with a bad story ...will still produce a bad movie no matter how talented they are.
It's fascinating how bad this one is. Not stupid or dull like some of the others. This is just... bad. So sad cus the original is great!
I bet they made the Blue Fairy black just to get some free "diversity" points even though they reduced her role to practically nothing.
Makes her more easy to edit out for international releases.
Disney really believes in the virtues they claim to have, am I right.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy Indeed
It's the one thing I can't stand about them. Such obvious hypocrisy and yet the general public seems to ignore it.
Disney did clickbait long before the internet popularised it.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy Generally, those who advertise their virtue the loudest are the ones who have the least of it. Virtue is self evident through actions, words and propaganda are worthless
Lmfao I was gonna say if anyone else noticed
4:59... She literally tells him what to do to become a real boy. THen she teaches him a lesson on lying and sets him free. Then she lets him know Gipetto was swallowed by Monstro and finally she turns him into a real boy. She definitely contributed a lot to the original film. It's my favorite Disney film of all time but this remake was fucking dreadful. Pinocchio does nothing wrong. nothing that can establish a satisfying character arc. He never learns a lesson. He's just dragged into bad situations. The scene when he sets himself free by lying is so atrocious. Fuck this film and it pains me to say it since I was excited for it
Yeah, I maybe undersold her a little in that segment, I did mention all those things she did later in the video though.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy You did... now that I'm almost half way through so my bad for jumping to conclusions. Great video
@@dratelectasis what I meant to say (but didn't) in the first segment, would be more along the lines of "she is a simple character who only has a few scenes". Also thanks for watching
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy Disney want's to making everything woke for some reason????? I think the only reason why effort was put in the Jungle Book remake, is because the original had very little story. So even Disney didn't want to do the exact same thing.
Sighs ...do you know why the blue fairy did less in this movie ....I believe it's because they believe they had a smarter audience. I mean ...her interventions were stupid and useless in the original movie. It's like she liked to watch Pinocchio suffer..and didn't care who else got hurt. That is why they gave her part to a freaking bird who wouldn't care and be literally unable to stop it.
SHe frees him and teaches him about lying. Yet, she doesn't teleport him home or even bother to let his father know where he is. She tell Pinocchio ...a boy she consider to be so helpless that she appoints a cricket as his conscious....where his father is to rescue him. The same kid she had to get out of a cage earlier in the movie. The blue fairy is as close to being another villian in that movie as the other villians are, and her sin is simply neglect and child endangerment.
She didn't turn Pinnochio into a real boy because he earn it. SHe did it to absolve herself of the guilt of all the crimes she had commited to that little wooden boy.
Pinocchio (2022) was so boring and pointless, it's definitely like they didn't get the point the animated version wanted to make.
Even the Jiminy Cricket animator, when he saw that it was going to be like a real insect he said "so ugly", and made it more adorable, and here for some reason someone thought it would be better to make it realistic..
A live action of Pinocchio could have been incredible if they had taken it from another perspective so as not to repeat the same as the animated one, like Gepetto's perspective, or make it more realistic without ugly animals made in CGI.
Thisthisthis.
Also, Candlehead = bb.
That animator by the way was Ward Kimball, one of Disney's 9 Old Men. He has a great career working at Disney on such characters like the Crows from Dumbo, the god of wine Baccus in the Pastoral sequence of Fantasia, also animation some characters from Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and many others. Also he directed the Disney shorts Toot, Whistle Plunk, and Boom, and It's Tough to Be a Bird, both winning Academy Awards.
He also was one of the founding members of the Dixieland band named Firehouse Five Plus Two playing the trombone and shared a vast interest in locomotives just like Walt did.
The Guillermo del Toro version had him look like an actual cricket and still look appealing.
The thing about glowing water in monstro is disney being too clever. Certain planktons glow bright colors when disturbed. Since whales eat planktons this makes sense. Which means is monstro a whale or a monster? Disney you got some splainin to do.
To be fair, a giant sea monster might eat plankton too.
@@SolarBrain4128 But if he eats plankton, why are his teeth big and sharp, instead of thin strands that would be ideal for filter feeding something as small as plankton
I never really considered Monstro a villain and still say Pinnochio doesn't have a specific villain (Honest John is closest) but Monstro is just a whale-like creature doing whale things. He's reasonably pissed when they light a fire in his mouth...wouldn't anybody?
Don't forget the lack of build up to Monstro. Pinocchio walking in the ocean and asking to find Monstro only to see all the fish getting terrified builds it up well. We didn't see that here. Only thing I'll disagree with on this whole video is Jiminy's look. I like that they TRIED to make him look like the cartoon. Had they not, they'd get more shit.
@@KopperNeoman who’s sora
@@BloatedPizzaRollsthe dude from kingdom of hearts
Honestly, I'd much rather watch the _other_ Pinocchio movie if given the choice. You know, the one that goes: "fATheR whEn cAn i lEAvE tO Be oN mY OWn i'VE gOt thE wHOle wOrLD To SeE"
Same goes with "tAkE pItY oN mE eXcELLeNcy, wHaT wILL hApPeN tO mY dAddY? mErCy!"(Phoenix Games Pinocchio).
I had some semblance of hope for the new coachman with how much he was pressuring Pinocchio. In a better movie, he'd be a good allegory for Lucifer. The way he follows Pinocchio and Lampwick around, pops out of the scenery, hands them "root beer," etc, had very strong "lead them to temptation" vibes. I was waiting for the story to change so that he personally convinces the children to give into their vices, offers them a deal to never have to listen to their parents or go to school ever again, and shake their hands/offer them a contract and once they agree to his terms they turn into donkeys. They seemed to make him vaguely supernatural in the movie but didn't commit. Tbh I got major pedo vibes. He rolls up in his cart (which is technically windowless), snatches up kids, and takes them back to his lair where he constantly observes them and plies them with soda and candy. This man is every stranger danger ad rolled into one poor performance.
Same. Worse part it that could have worked, especially after I had to take a course on HUMAN TRAFFICKING AWARENESS for my job. With how scarily commonplace it is (and how draining mentally that whole course was... seriously nightmarish stuff... and the person who narrated the course was a victim of it herself... it was... god... heartbreaking), the coachmen could have been a perfect allegory for stranger danger/human traffickers/paed0phelia.
The coachman could be like to Pinocchio "hey, all these kids and I are going to a fun place! Wanna come? All these kids agreed".
And he, out of curiosity and temptation, could be like "sure!"
He can act all friendly and even... fatherlike... to a Pinocchio who is worried that he isn't loved. Or even if he isn't worried that he isn't loved, he doesn't quite have the experience to know that you shouldn't go into someone you know's car... or cart in this case... He's just lured in by a seemingly friendly guy who has all the proof he's gonna take these kids someplace fun. Only for his true colors to be coming out slowly but surely.
And even the kids who are turning into donkeys maybe don't even notice it at first. Fur on arms? Just a part of growing up obviously. Long ears and a tail? Surely there's an explanation. They know they're turning but they don't see anything wrong with it... yet... Heck Pinocchio also starts to turn without knowing or thinking about it at first because "This friendly coachman is turning me into a donkey? Please! He would NEVER do that, he's such a nice guy! This kids are probably right. This most likely just happens to real boys." as kind of an allegory on how victims don't always realize they're victims or think about it even with the signs until it's too late sadly.
And maybe he gets scarily close up until his friend fully turns and is panicked. That's when we get the donkey selling scene with massive amount of adults who may be betting on buying them. Pinocchio leaves... but sadly the other donkeys don't really have a chance to leave... because that's how it is....
It would be similar yet different from the original and yet still have that dark atmosphere that not all is well. It can be equally as nightmarish and play into that adult fear aspect while playing to some themes of the original.
We may wish upon a star that Disney will finally make a good remake. But it'll never happen
I wish Disney to be creative again and stop with all these unwanted remakes
@@ayamestitcheskurta Walt Disney Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios and maybe Marvel and Star Wars are carrying the bigger Walt Disney Studios right now.
Maybe if they made it something like Hook, as in a movie that expands/remixes the ideas of the original in a creative way, instead of being the same while trying to change it in the most cringey way possible(as in either over woke or just changing things that ruin how good the original was in certain aspects).
@@ayamestitcheskurtaMy thoughts exactly!
At this point, Disney is pretty much split in two: There’s that magic side that gave us the charming movies, fun tv shows, endearing characters and the overall thing we love about Disney. And then there’s the corporative side that only cares about money and profit (trying to buy every company, limiting access to their content to streaming, pandering to the Chinese market, the list goes on).
Sadly, most of the artists that gave us what we loved have passed away by now. Disney’s corporative side is growing and it shows. Walt must me rolling in his grave seeing what his own company has done.
From what I heared, Walt was somewhere inbetween these two extremes. That the greedy side that wants to own everything takes over more and more is just peak irony to me, considering the company owns the rights to Kingdom Hearts and there are characters in that IP that won't shut up about how darkness is the true nature of everything.
If you watch the documentary for Pinocchio, you would understand just how hard they worked to make sure this movie was brilliant. You can just feel how hard they worked in every scene.
This? You can just feel more than the other live action movies that they do not care.
The people defending this movie are absolutely insane. Some of the stuff they are saying is aggravating.
Pinocchio was and is still one of - if not the best animated feature ever made.
Remember when Monstro was chasing them? Pinocchio and Geppetto were paddling for their lives. You can feel the urgency and desperation. Now, Pinocchio can slip away from Monstro with ease while his legs somehow turn into propellers.
"More serious," my pinky finger!
I wish they'd put some more effort into the Blue Fairy's costume design. The actress is gorgeous, and I think she really captures that majestic and ethereal vibe of the character. But it looks like the costume designers just copied and pasted the Blue Fairy's dress from the original, and it makes her look out-of-place to me. The cold blue isn't the best color on her, and the obnoxiously bright glow actually makes it hard for me to see her face when she's against a darker background. If they'd just put in a little more creative effort and designed a costume that really complimented Cynthia Erivo's appearance, the Blue Fairy would've probably been the best-looking character in the entire remake. Every other bad decision for this movie I can be disgusted/angry/amused at, but the lazy costume design just makes me sad.
@Maynards so blue Cynthia Erivo is stunning dude, the point is that the costume designers didn’t attempt to flatter her at all.
Her wings look like tentacles- they're weird
@The_Elemental_Guardian Agreed- I think they could’ve went complex with a lot of feathers like an angel, or simple and dragonfly-like. In between is kind of strange.
@@nickg5341 Pretty much, it was moreso that Cynthia is a famous actress that landed her the role than some “woke pandering”, they were just able to use it as a business ploy, bad attention is still attention.
@@thelanktheist2626 Or alternatively people could just take the word woke out of their vocabulary and spend their time and energy complaining about things that actually matter instead of soulless corporate products
“You have value the way you are, no need to try to turn into something you’re not” is a good message! Not original or anything, but good!
…But not when posed as an alternative/“fixed” version of a story whose original message is “people aren’t born knowing how to do the right thing in all situations, but learning that is a necessary part of meaningfully growing up and realizing your potential as a person”. Like, self-acceptance and self-improvement aren’t mutually exclusive.
Man I do not care about Disney these days, but I can’t help but be interested in these Pinocchio reviews because of just how weird and on the nose (no pun intended) this remake seems to be in particular about not having any clue what the point of the source material was and apparently having so clearly zero idea what it’s doing as a result. At least the others had their flimsy “we want to flesh out a character or two who didn’t need to be sympathetic”, “this is a war story so what if we sucked the fun out of it”, “this is about animals so let’s make it look like a real-life nature show, never mind that that presentation really doesn’t work for a musical” excuses (emphasis on “flimsy”).
You know the film is trying to be some sort of Fix-Fic of the original Pinocchio the moment we see the clocks in Gepetto's workshop. In the original there was this (rather weird) clock of a woman spanking a child. In the new version the clock is there but there's now a policeman that puts his baton on the way to stop her like they are going "Okay, see, we are NOT condoning spanking children now!"
Politically correct people always follow the current trend, and never think back to what was politically correct in past eras.
It's not like that added anything to the story to begin with.
The only part Tom Hanks made me genuinely laugh in this movie was when Pinocchio told him everything he did and Tom just "....YOU DID ALL THAT IN ONE DAY!?"
If it weren't illogical, I'd agree, though at least they almost tried to write a good joke (and still failed lol).
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy yeah it was more just how he said it than anything
It'd have been funnier if Pinocchio responded, "Three days actually."
Agreed, that is the funniest and frankly only good part in the entire soulless cash grab.
Disney went from making one of the greatest movie ever made, to one of the worst movie ever made.
And what did we learn, everyone?
If something was already good, don't remake it.
Remake something bad instead and try to improve it.
UNLESS it's a really old video game that could use some touching up, good or bad.
It's different for games.
Don't fool yourself: If they were to remake something bad nowadays, the only thing that would happen is they would make it worse.
@@OmegaChase1002 Live A Live comes to mind
Its original game is already good as it is, but its remake is a masterpiece
You mean "If it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT!!!!"
Creating fire with his feet just sounds so dumb. It doesn't seem like they thought anything in this movie through
It’s because in Collodi’s book, Pinocchio’s legs catch fire and they wanted to somewhat include that part in this movie.
I'd understand his legs, because he rubbed them together and he's made of wood, basically creating fire, but feet?
@@T_E_G His feet are wooden too
Only Shadow, the ultimate life form, can make fire with his feet.
@@EpicJoshua314 They made Monstro the Terrible Dogfish with tentacles for absolutely no reason...
I think the worst crime no one seems to mention is the puppets are able to change their facial expressions and blink which is not possible if it was a real life puppet not to mention the dance moves they do would tangle up the strings
I noticed this too! It's so weird!
It was too ambiguous as to whether or not Sabine the puppet was also sentient, which was dumb, because Pinocchio is supposed to be the ONLY sentient puppet!
Who are you referring to? If you’re referring to Pinocchio then your post holds no ground as he’s magically brought to life and so he can blink and change his facial expressions
@@EpicJoshua314 They are referringto the ballerina puppet.
I absolutely HATE the fact that Pinocchio has wrinkles
Why does Pinocchio have super speed in this for no reason he is just a puppet
1940 Classic Disney Animated film:
A nose that grows upon telling lies was a curse cast upon Pinocchio by the Blue Fairy to punish and discipline him into learning the value of Honesty.
2022 Realistic Disney+ Remake film:
A nose that grows upon telling lies is a fucking My Hero Academia Quirk!
Stand user: Pinocchio
Stand name: Star Nose
It makes the user's nose grow indefinetly.
@@gasterthemaster6490 That also works as well! I think Pinocchio should challenge Jojo Sonic the Hedgehog to a chili dog eating contest with his Hotdog Stand to one up Dio Shadow the Hedgehog.
- The Blue Fairy looks good (I like the idea of making her look like she's a star, or like she's made of stardust) but Erivo's hyperactive performance and the lack of majesty given to the character, going for an easier comedy route, made the attempt fail
- The idea of making the struggle about whether or not to become a real boy would have worked the best in a full re-imagining, in the vein of Cruella or Maleficent, not a copy-paste job of the original movie
- There's some neat ideas with Honest John and Gideon (I love how his apparently elegant cloak is made out of a tent, Scarlet o'Hara style), but Keegan Michael Key's performance is even more hyperactive than Erivo's and he NEVER interacts with Gideon. Why was he even there, mallet aside?
- Why cut the songs? They ALL slap. Especially an Actor's Life For Me.
- Lampwick was overtly mean, even for the character
- Tom Hanks just sounded half-asleep... at least we know who hogged all the caffeine, but still.
Also in the original she was always present, even if she wasn't onscreen. You could feel her always watching and testing Pinocchio as a constant presence. She helps Pinocchio be held accountable for his actions as well as reward him when he acknowledges how much he messes up. Along with Jimminy, she's the moral compass of the movie and her power is so significant, she doesn't even need to be onscreen the whole film.
Here? She's there for one scene and then she peaces out.
Okay...so what was even the point of her then?
I remember the original Fairy was actually quite goofy, while also teaching a good lesson.
I just want to add as well, look at the lighting of the blue fairy scene of this film compared to the original. Doesn't it look so cold, dark and blue? Look at how warm and inviting the candle-lit original is by comparison. Doesn't the fairy feel so much more comforting and angelic in that lighting? The remake makes the room look so... cold. And her wings look like they would feel freezing to stand next to. :(
Watching all these reviews for the remake really makes me wanna re-watch the original.
Do it, just do it! (It'll hopefully wash the horrors of this remake from your mind).
Original is definetely better ❤️
But why is the lighting in this movie so bad. It's either way over exposed or just pitch black
I know, I literally had to increase the brightness on the dark clips so they could actually be seen in the video (I think I missed one on accident though).
You didn't even mention the part where instead of telling the truth, Pinocchio's nose now shrinks by simply saying sorry
Also, while Cinderella is my favorite from Walt’s era, Pinocchio is really up there. I especially like how much of a dark fable it is when you consider the feature devision was known for Snow White. Not as dark as the source material, but darker than most people probably thought Disney would go at the time
honestly this film hurts my heart, Walt would be so disgusting with how his company is being run…
*grabs telephone* Hello, is this the electric company? I just found a solution to our power issues: Go to Walt Disney's grave with a turbine and power cords!
Pinocchio is standard when It comes to 2d and traditional animation. This movie It's just hot garbage.
I was wondering if Tom Hanks was really that bad in this movie,turns out they were right,that's low from him.
I watched it in italian and the voice actor really improved his performance
I don't mind Monstro's species being changed. He was a giant dogfish in the novel anyway, rather than a whale. Once again falls into the category of "More accurate completely on accident," but still.
Don’t you love how they keep finding new, yet similar ways to make you dislike their live action remakes!
As someone who loves the 1940 Pinocchio, I feel that Stromboli is the ideal representation for the greedy, corporate, two-faced and above all bad side of Disney. Mainly because of how they care more for the profits they get as opposed to the craft the present.
I haven't seen any live action Disney remakes. Live action is a gimmick. A gimmick that doesn't allow for the characters, and worlds to be more fantastic and fun. It doesn't enhance the story in any way. It's just an excuse to rehash for more money.
Remaking old stories isn't always bad. But it has to be done with love for the original and a reason to exist besides money.
You hit the nail right on the head there!
Me neither I haven’t seen one and I never will they all look like crap I’ll watch the original
I like how Pinocchio can retract his long nose at will.... Forget the moral message against lying.... And I miss the way his nose literally turns into a tree branch complete with birds nest.
This is like the sixth video essay about how bad this movie is that I've watched, and it's BY FAR the best. The editing and narration is phenomenal. You are criminally underrated, sir.
Thanks.
@caitlyncarvalho7637 I haven't seen Once upon a time, but I assume that version is probably better lol.
I don't watch anything Disney anymore. I'm so done with them, it's not even funny. If someone had forced me to watch this in theaters, (if it actually WAS in theaters) and they SOMEHOW convinced me to stay seated, I still would've stormed out the moment I heard that "CHRIS PINE!!!"
😖💥🔫
tbh same, while the remakes are by far the worst things theyre making their other movies arent very good either with only some rare decent movies. even ones that people say are good i havent seen like encanto since just not interested also fed up with the same style wish they would bring drawn animation back.
I do genuinely believe that this movie is as bad or worse as "The Last Airbender." It's that same level of 'Did a human being write this????' It is the only movie I've ever seen that is SO bad that I don't understand how it could be made. WHY is the dialogue so fast, with not even a pause or breath between characters talking? WHY does this feel worse than a movie a five-year-old could make?
the script ferls like the weird AI versions of stories that I would read when I was 11.
"You'll stay a puppet forever, you'll be my perfect boy and never die and i will make you cry to keep me alive forever and ever and ever..."
Imagine (I'm just saying) imagine if instead of cheap CW levels of CGI, they used an actual high end wooden string puppet for the role? How vastly improved would the movie be? How unique would it be with it's wooden protagonist?
The only spell that got cast in this movie was the one to turn everything into shit.
Wokus Pocus!
@@KopperNeomanthe movie isn't good but by god bro, rent free
Did anyone else notice that Jiminy also made cricket sounds WHENEVER he jumped? Crickets don't make that noise when they jump. It was really distracting up until we realized the movie was just terrible in general and we shut it off.
Crickets rub their legs together, don't they...? So glad I never watched this movie
The 1996 live action remake of Pinocchio starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas is actually worth watching
Im convinced that nowadays, directors and publishers are simply too scared to have a character be flawed, have them make mistakes and learn from them to have character development
Nope, instead they gotta be pitch perfect in every single way and have the WORLD be the flaw rather than the character itself
So pathetic...
Thank god for this review. I had to stop watching the movie cause it was so bad. You just saved an hour and a 1/2 of my life that I wouldn't have been able to get back.
The scene with the man coming by late at night asking to purchase one of the clocks does serve a purpose, although it's not a very good or well-developed one. It sets up this idea that despite having made all these intricate cuckoo clocks, Geppetto doesn't want to sell them, presumably because they remind him of his late wife and son. Later in the movie when Pinocchio and Jiminy return to his house, they notice that all the clocks are gone. The seagull informs them that he sold all the clocks to be able to buy a boat to go looking for Pinocchio because finding Pinocchio was more important to Geppetto than those clocks.
Technically, it does serve a purpose. It's a flimsy purpose that feels very undercooked, but it does count as a setup with a payoff even if the payoff is admittedly unsatisfying.
29:15 i can explain this. The blue Tunnel was actually the afterlife. none of them survived. It just taking time for all of them to know they are dead.
Chepetto Died from drowning, Goldy died from Salt Water Contamination, Figaro died from the impact of the damage from the boat, rocks and Monstro, and Pinocchio...well he's a ghost too since he never really did turn into a real boy. Just a manifestation of what he sees.
"Once upon a time, there was an horrible live action. It was so horrible, every character in it DIED. The end!"
this remake in particular very much feels like every single person working on it didn't want to be there. i can feel the absolute frustration seep through the writing, and even the special effects are half-assed in a way we don't always see from disney (although i'm not saying the sfx for other remakes is spectacular LMAO). if there was ever any passion at all from the people working on this movie, the big execs (who most likely put them on a time crunch) crushed it under the heels of their boots.
walt disney is absolutely rolling in his cryo chamber right now
I've started calling this the just the "Disney remakes" series.
calling it live action remake after lion king and Pinocchio just feels ingenuine.
"It's rootbeer *wink wink*" You are a genius, dude XD
Let's see, a story about a child who faces prejudice, tags along with bad companions out of necessity or lack of options, and is already good but goes through a flat character arc to maintain said goodness in the face of adversity. Something tells me Zemeckis can't tell the difference between Pinocchio and Oliver Twist.
I watched this entire video from start to ending without skipping or pausing once. Everything you said was so spot on and well articulated in my opinion. Really good work you put into this man!
P.s, if you wanna watch Pinocchio, watch the original 1940 version. It's a thousand times better for sure.
I think this is the biggest insult to the man himself, Walt Disney. He and his team did the best they could at the time to deliver the best movie possible and how do they treat a movie that is pretty much responsible to their empire entire existance? Remake it in the most bland and cheap way possible.
Good job, clowns.
O.K. So I've been ruminating on the remake's Pleasure Island for a bit and it hit me why it's such a massive downgrade next to Pinocchio's aggravating goodness: if root beer's supposed to suck *that* badly, why aren't the kids sugar-crazed little demons? Why aren't they more caffeine than people?! Instead they're just kind of smashing shit and hurling "insults", which is...what adults do, but on a smaller scale.
Pinocchio 2022: The DEMAKE .
the secret as to why like 99% of all live-action disney movies are just greenscreen now is because set designers, costume designers, and special effects crews all have unions... but CGI animators don't.
Hmm, interesting, I don't actually know much about unions, other than that they are controversial.
@@Rockotarthepurplehatguy unions pretty much give the workers more rights, higher wages and better benefits, it's really easy to get fired for dumb reasons if you are not unionized. And the most important one is that if they are in a union they are allowed to fight back against unfair work environments
To answer your thing on the blue fairy, yes her moments are short but do serve a purpose in how she's basically the mother figure for Pinocchio. If you note the way she interacts with him she talks to him like a mother
Me before this release: This could be one of the better remakes.
“He doesn’t even become a real boy.”
NOPE!
Like I didn’t first hear that from this video, so I’m not sure what he’s gonna say yet, but here’s my two cents. Pinocchio is not a story themed around found family or anything like that. It is about becoming a real person by becoming a good person. Him becoming a real boy is already symbolic, you only stand to lose effectiveness in this fairytale by taking the magic out and changing that ending to just… not be.
This is a really weird compliment to make but I feel that your voice is perfect for rant videos. Especially the "nah I'm gonna go to school!" and the "and he scoops Pinocchio into his coach!" made me laugh so much
How is this movie LONGER than the original? They removed so many scenes and added so little. How did gain 20 minutes?
It is so bad it manipulates time.
@@struttux5156Space is wrapped and Time is bendable!
Probably the credits must take a good portion of the time since it’s a live action
What happened to the amazing and beautiful underwater sequence?? That by itself made Disney's Pinoccio something quite special.
Broke: Getting upset about the Blue Fairy's casting
Woke: Getting upset about the Coachman's casting
Walt himself was a smoker, but detested the habit and made it a rule not to ever do it in front of children and not to have it ever be depicted _as a good thing_ in his films. Modern Disney instead has a "no tobacco ever" rule, even for the biography film of the man himself. Weak sauce.
I think the Pleasure Island scene was doomed to fail from the start.
Like you said "Disney will NEVER!!!!!!! show something that Dark again".
And this movie just prooves you are right.
The entire style of the Original, just don't fit the slightest for what Disney shows us now. Not that I hate Disney for that, it is just sad, because these are the movies that stay in your mind FOREVER!
It is sad, that they don't let the Creators show us something so real again.
“How can you fail at getting the moral ‘Lying is wrong’ right?”
Wellllll it is Hollywood.
Should also be noted that the coachman in the original has his hair curl into devil horns in that plotting scene, symbolizing his role in the morality play. Movie’s really good. This one ain’t
I feel Disney not having faith on their original 2D animation is their philosophy currently where their “adult” movies are live action and loaded with sfx from crunched artists. Didn’t Disney get their start by animation? Also all of disneys 3D animated movies along with Pixar’s animated films feel very samey. At least Sony and dreamworks try to make new things I would rather take more movies like the bad guys or spiderverse. As far as I am concerned artistry in Disney has died a long time ago. Imagine if Disney started to make new hand drawn 2D movies. Who watches these live action remakes? If they were going to do it why not remake the movies that deserve remakes.
Not even a minute in and I'm already subscribing 😂 Your editing is hilarious!
I think Blue Fairy’s new design is actually pretty cool (I like the flowing glittering outfit) but it is weird that she doesn’t show up in the birdcage scene
One thing that doesn't work in the new version is how Pinnochio's nose grows when he lies despite the Blue Fairy's absence. Even as a kid, because of the magic sparkles that appear seconds before his nose grows, I knew it was the Blue Fairy doing that. She was telling Pinnochio that she KNEW he was lying and was showing him up for it until it's so long he can't ignore it any more and apologises. She wanted him to learn.
Eh, I never assumed that. In the original book it grows when he lies even when the fairy isn't present (granted, the book is inconsistent on this point, and it only grows when he lies about certain things rather than after every lie, but still)
The amount of time and care that Walt Disney and his crew put into the original Pinocchio is nothing short of remarkable, and in the end I think it paid off. Even though it can be outdated from a storytelling standpoint (using tropes that have since become the subject of parody) , it still remains one of my favorite animated movies. If Walt Disney saw this remake, he'd probably turn everyone who worked on it into donkeys!
“they fly now father!”
“They fly now?!”
*YOU DID ALL THAT IN ONE DAY?!*
I knew they were going to make it and I even expected the fox to look like this, but I didn't know it would be like this and they actually did it without paying respect to the old version.
I agree with just about everything you said, and at first I agreed the whole motivation for Geppetto going to sea, but when you remember that Pleasure island is supposed too be a secret place no one knows about, then it all falls apart completely. Anyway great video, love the Super Paper Mario music, that games a classic 👌
Everyone is so afraid to comment on one thing, and that is race of the fairy,
I am going to do that, cuz it shines light on a bigger issue in AAA entertainment in general.
we all know the black fairy is there to tick the representation bucket list,
but is that good representation? or has it been forcefully shoved in without any second thought,
arguably hand fisted representation is worse then no representation at all, you have literally become a checklist, if ur a black person, how do u not feel insulted? im asian, i feel insulted each time some bullshit white guys in hollywood turn me and my culture into a checkmark on a bucket list, and also insulted when some twitter journalist praises them for turning me into a check mark,
people made the fairy the way she is, just so they can pat themselves on the back in the moment,
is that really a good choice? 70 years later, would people look at that and go, yeah, that was a good choice,
or would people be cringing themselves out the same way as we see jim crow today,
id argue that this IS, in fact a form of modern jim crow,
a fairy, is arguably an european mythological creature, why would a european fairly tale creature sport that hair style, and be black?
WELL TO CHECK A CHECKMARK OF COURSE, - and it is at this point, that the viewers get pulled away from the immersion of the story, and gets their face shoved full of present day politics,
i am all for representaion, but representaion should be good,
why doesnt hollywood make another movie such as the king of egypt. or something from african history, theres so many beautiful stories and characters from cultures of racial minorities,
mansa musa,
alessandro medicci
prince ramajana,
every chinese historical period,
these could all be done so well into good entertainment and good representation,
or if u wanna go abstract, look at the sci fi show, the expanse, it does ratial representaion really well, the members of UN are from all over the place, the beltars themselfes have a lot of minority groups. yet non of them feel hand shoved, beacuse there is a in universe reason for their race,
I really hope the younger black generation of creators stand up for themselves, and stop eating the shit that some white executive shoves down their throat, to shut everyone up and claim the "representation card"
and we should help them as well, vote with your wallet, and stop giving hollywood money and patting them for this type of modern jim crow,
edit: OH LMAO, U DO TALK ABOUT IT, aaa, I will leave it here tho,
Pinocchio lying to escape is a rip off of the joke from Shrek 2. However, the reason it worked in Shrek 2 was because Pinocchio tried to lie at first when be said "I am wearing lady's underwear", but his nose didn't grow which meant he was wearing lady's underwear. He was now lying to hide the embarrassment which still managed to free Shrek and his buddies.
To the people who claim that Disney's 1940 adaptation ruins the point of Collodi's 1883 book the film was based off of ,just show them this film ... It's an insult to both the 1940 classic AND ESPECIALLY to Carlo Collodi's book ...
Disney:We're gonna cast a diverse actress to play the Blue fairy
Also Disney:cuts off most of her screen time
I bet that's what they do to the Little Mermaid remake ...The 1989 film was ok ,though had a very flawed script ,but it was at lest good ( somewhat ) ... I assure you that each remake it's gonna suck harder than the last
I've always preferred the Collodi story, but I know the 1940 Pinocchio is a work of art from start to finish. It's beautiful (especially the water animation), the songs are classics, and the story has a lot of emotion.
2:01 that is probably the most accurate reaction of how I felt seeing some clips from this remake movie, it’s shit
Also this needed its own comment because as a cat lover I was very disappointed that Figaro was CGI. And not only CGI but strange CGI and he was tiny (I know he is small in the original, but he is super small in this version). He also had like one third the personality he had in the original version and no miniature human bed to sleep in. Anyway I just thought I would advocate for my furry friend. 😸
I cant believe Geppetto wasnt already eaten by Monstro in this abomination.... And for what reason? A lame one-liner?? The desperation of Pinocchio and his father was already quite apparent. And that was a beautiful description of Pinocchio using fire against Monstro.
This movie I think shows my biggest complaint with new remakes. That movies are scared of having genuine moments. Instead they just decide to make stuff either "funnier" or they tone down the scene so much that it muddies the initial point of the scene. (Which is how I feel about Cats, 2019.) It's just frustrating seeing that Disney no longer wants scenes with genuine moments (like any of the Blue Fairy scenes) and instead scraps them for scenes that I guess are supposed to be funny? Some of Disney's best and most iconic scenes are the scenes where characters are vulnerable or are having a genuinely emotional moment.
How could they take the whole premise of Pinocchio wanting to become a real boy, something that is so extremely plainly obviously allegorical to becoming a real functioning decent human and not just a basically lifeless husk that exists to simply satisfy himself, and assume that it was to be taken completely literally saying "Well Pinocchio shouldn't HAVE to become a real boy to be loved! He should be loved how he is!" I've never seen a remake completely miss the message of it's original so completely blatantly
Wait, what if this is all a fever dream Tom Hanks had as Castaway. That's right, nothing but a horrible nightmare that will just fade away into the ether.....