ScIQ's new TV show PILOT: New Average Penis Size & Biodiversity 'Triage'
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2018
- **This is the first segment of a potential ScIQ show for the linear TV channel on UA-cam TV. Do you like it? If so, make sure you let everyone know! Please tweet @CenkUygur & @TheYoungTurks!**
(transcript)
G’Day everyone! Welcome to the first ever TV episode of ScIQ on the TYT Network. Here at ScIQ, we bring you the truth and the science behind the week’s big stories, with no alternative facts in sight. We’ve waded through all the bull and distilled all the data, so you don't have to.
Welcome to the show, my co-host and fourth-favorite shirtless volleyball player, David Alfano!
And boy what a big week it has been for facts! We’ve got a big show for you tonight, with the US midterm elections coming up, every fact checkers favorite time of year. We’ve got news about big cities running out of drinking water, and even a story on the true average penis size. Who doesn’t like a good schlong story David?
But before we get to all that, let’s look at the big science news of the week:
BIODIVERSITY TRIAGE
We begin with the news that everything currently alive is dying and there's not enough cash to save it all. Given how buggered the planet is, and the ever smaller amounts of money this administration is allocating to the environment, conservation scientists are now trying a new approach, called “biodiversity triage". Now, “triage” is.
So BIODIVERSITY TRIAGE is when you work out which species might actually be saved, and let the rest die.
Since we can’t start biodiversity triage by getting rid of incompetent Republican congressmen, I vote we get rid of the Emu. Because those guys are selfish! Wankers! That's right emus....
EPA ROLLBACK
Moving now to our second story, the EPA - that once-great organization, now dedicated to reminding you that witches control the weather and that seasons are climate change.
The EPA just released a proposal to roll back rules on methane leaks. Now, The Trump administration usually hates leaks, but in this case Trump wants to relax laws to save costs for the oil industry but allow way more methane to leak into the air.
Famous for being the main component of farts, the gas methane is up to 80 times more potent than Carbon Dioxide for warming the planet.
The EPA itself admitted the change would "degrade air quality and adversely affect health."
At least they’re honest about it.
AIR POLLUTION MAKES YOU DUMB
Whilst the EPA is busy rolling back regulation to make air pollution fun and easy, a new study published by the National Academy of Sciences has found air pollution can make you dumber. Stupider. More stupid. Whatever.
Researchers looked at the performance of 20,000 Chinese citizens as they took tests on language and numeracy, and correlated this with the levels of air pollution. The found high pollution was linked to a SIGNIFICANT drop in test scores, the average impact was the same as having lost a year of education.
PENIS SIZE
Finally, How do you measure the average man? One old fella at a time, apparently.
Scientists may have found the true answer to how big is the average penis. Many earlier studies of penis size used self-reporting, and shockingly... men tended to “overestimate” themselves.
A new study only used data where the penis had been measured by a clinician using a standard measuring procedure, and not what was listed on their tinder profile.
For the study, over 15,000 men were measured. There were so many dicks there, you think it was the White House.
And calculated the average penis size of: drumroll please… 3.6 inches for the average flaccid penis, and 5.2 inches for the average erect penis.
Upon the announcement, men all over the world released a statement that the exam room was cold and that their girlfriends totally thought so too.
Well that’s it for science news, coming up next: Is water the new oil? We’ll be right back.
This video is presented by Jayde Lovell at TYT Studio in LA
Special Guest Host: David Alfano | Twitter: @Alfano_tweets | Instagram @Alfotograph
Thanks to the contributions of the writing team: Ella Barnett , David Alfano, Veronica Dang, Nich Peltzer, Andrea Shapiro
Creative producer: Simone Kisiel | Editor: Will Smith
Special thanks to Judith Benezra, Director of Programming, TYT.
SCIQ ON TYT
Produced by Jayde Lovell and Bec Susan Gill. ScIQ is a partner of the The Young Turks Network.
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Follow Jayde on Instagram: jaydelovell - Наука та технологія
Love the opening line about how many beach volleyball players you know. 4.
Thank you so much to everyone who made this PILOT happen, and especially thanks to TYT Network for letting us film in their LA Studio. We'd love to know your thoughts - do you like the show? Would you like to see more? Should we change anything?
Yes beautiful jayde , of course we would love to see more of this show ,who wouldn't like to see you again 💕
I would like to see more stuff on the 2040 climate change deadline. That's a really important story.
I liked the pilot! Informative and entertaining format.
😀
Interesting. I think yes, more of this please. Maybe a slightly longer format (and no, that wasn't a penis size pun).
This sound like a gta radio station
6:09 😂😂😂
Viewer engagement!
It's time for Emu war part 2! We have climate change on our side this time!
Even more Jaydeee. Wuv her.
I'm frankly shocked at the lack of right wing hate here in the comments section. This is youtube, where is the awful bigotry? Not that I miss it, I'm just not used to it
I hate the name "Phil" :-(
I'm not right wing, but I could manage an N-word if you insist..
Here it comes: Neon-Gas!
You are welcome :-)
Not even a sexist comment! What is this?
S(exist) C(omment) I(s) (re)Q(uired)
..finally, I get the channel name..
But, I'm afraid, my profile pic has to do that job..
I think it’s because the content presented in this show is too cutting edge & original (not repeated rhetoric at all). So much so that it’s left entire groups of bigots quaking in their computer seats and fleeing from the page! The viewpoint they represent is truly unique and really forces you to think for yourself.
#emulivesmatter
Great stuff. And the animal that would have the deepest pockets for trump would be a kangaroo!!!!
I can't believe I missed that perfect joke opportunity!