Man, as I delve deeper into my experience, there was very little of anything - attachment, structure, parenting/tracking/expectations, very little stability (although I did not know this as a child/high school student); I think on the maternal side there is three generations of attachment “rupture” and on the paternal side, I can track two. Both sides, seriously fragmented and damaged. It’s pitiful to be the only family member who really sees all of this, or think he’s got the math down somewhat.
I find it extremely difficult to have compassion for the inner child. When i try to accept the child, all my feelings (of compassion) disappear. There's nothing. But I hear her screaming. I wish i could "turn the switch " and start accepting
I dont understand how they not can understand what its like and the why someone cant give compassion to the other selves. When youve been extremely neglected and abused, had somany awfull experiences where they never showed compassion, youve been treated as if your nothing, so bad you devellop Did and all you dont deserve things as love and compasion care and all wich is so normal to many, How can you give that to your inners? When they never trust anything or anyone who would approach them like that. When it always meant danger? How can you give that to the 'selve(s) when they never where a 'selve' and a someone in the first place. I think its a matter of ..and im loosing what i was trying to say, sorry what was never learned from very early age you cant change just like that. Especially when others even psycholigists treat all the 'selves' as if they dont exist' like in mpd/did. Maybe thats dissociation also. But i cant explain
Man, as I delve deeper into my experience, there was very little of anything - attachment, structure, parenting/tracking/expectations, very little stability (although I did not know this as a child/high school student); I think on the maternal side there is three generations of attachment “rupture” and on the paternal side, I can track two.
Both sides, seriously fragmented and damaged.
It’s pitiful to be the only family member who really sees all of this, or think he’s got the math down somewhat.
I find it extremely difficult to have compassion for the inner child. When i try to accept the child, all my feelings (of compassion) disappear. There's nothing. But I hear her screaming. I wish i could "turn the switch " and start accepting
Imagine a child that you do love, who is experiencing some of the trauma you've felt, would you comfort them?
❤
I dont understand how they not can understand what its like and the why someone cant give compassion to the other selves. When youve been extremely neglected and abused, had somany awfull experiences where they never showed compassion, youve been treated as if your nothing, so bad you devellop Did and all you dont deserve things as love and compasion care and all wich is so normal to many, How can you give that to your inners? When they never trust anything or anyone who would approach them like that. When it always meant danger? How can you give that to the 'selve(s) when they never where a 'selve' and a someone in the first place.
I think its a matter of ..and im loosing what i was trying to say, sorry what was never learned from very early age you cant change just like that. Especially when others even psycholigists treat all the 'selves' as if they dont exist' like in mpd/did. Maybe thats dissociation also.
But i cant explain
it is better to be a sinner in a world ruled by god than live in a world ruled by the devil
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