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Top 5 Things Someone With Depression Wants You To Know | Dr Julie

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  • Опубліковано 27 тра 2022
  • Subscribe to me @Dr Julie for more videos on mental health and psychology. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #shorts
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    WHO AM I:
    I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3 тис.

  • @DrJulie
    @DrJulie  2 роки тому +445

    Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for more videos on mental health and motivation.
    For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
    👉 linktr.ee/drjuliesmith

    • @Preppy1928
      @Preppy1928 2 роки тому +2

      O don't have depression but I have some of those . Help me plssss

    • @Preppy1928
      @Preppy1928 2 роки тому +1

      I have all these what should I do i don't want to go to a doctor

    • @gix6013
      @gix6013 2 роки тому +4

      @@Preppy1928 it's really important, u should see a doctor, or try seeing a doctor online if that's possible.
      Mental health should be taken seriously. Please consult a doctor.

    • @royaldirt1130
      @royaldirt1130 2 роки тому +2

      With a person who likely had depression (not formally diagnosed) I was crying myself to sleep and wanting to die everyday... I wanted to even be a firefighter so I can die and at least save someone else... people need a push and something to snap in them so they can understand that what there surroundings are is what make them upset... my parents smoked very badly it was so bad i could make a cigarette pyramid and I got bullied for it and many other things... so I decided after looking inward I needed to change so I had a calorie cut (I didn't eat lunch basically) and I walked alot and it helped me think and realize what I wanted to not do... I was 220 when I didn't start then after I cut down to 195 like 5,6 (still heavy but I never was that skinny before ever) after that I mustered enough courage to say what I felt to my parents and say that I'm getting picked on because of these cigarettes they smoked in the house and now they don't and then after that I didn't have alot of people picking on me but I was still a loner so I worked on my personality and apologized for almost everything for any inconvenience I caused... then later in life someone said "apologizing doesn't make things better they make them sadder say your grateful for things instead" and almost ever since then I've never been sad in my life... I might of been bored but not sad or crying and my goals are what I want now not just to die... it's been like 3-4 years now since then
      I didn't get bottle fed I didn't get my hand held and even if I did it didn't help me none... I needed to snap and say enough is enough and make my life what I wanted it to be not just from my situation was I changed myself to the betterment of me and you can too just keep trying don't listen to video and be soft on someone who is depressed or they will never get any better...
      Even when I asked people why do they hate me they always said "your just annoying" I was so dumb I couldn't see that it was the way I spoke to people and the way I smelled

    • @royaldirt1130
      @royaldirt1130 2 роки тому

      Also I'm going to forever not like any cycologist because my sister is trying to become one and I know she 1000% is the worst person to ask about there life... sorry Julie but it's my opinion

  • @acacia_9991
    @acacia_9991 2 роки тому +2702

    I wish this existed when I was really depressed, I’m in recovery and this is perfect.

    • @momo-ts6le
      @momo-ts6le 2 роки тому +2

      @Kevlar Nuts same problem

    • @momo-ts6le
      @momo-ts6le 2 роки тому +9

      At first,I comforted my friend the best I can
      I spent most of time with her, made sure she's okay and gave her time
      But these days I realised that she's in depression and it's not just something that I can solve. I'm not a doctor.
      She really needs a therapist, but I don't know what or how to say that to her
      She barely even talks to me these days, I'm worried

    • @v1nnimo
      @v1nnimo 2 роки тому +5

      I have a depressed friend and the best we can cheer her up is to make her forget about her home life. We try to remind her that we're always with her. We let her have space when she doesn't respond or when she ignores us. Don't know if we're doing it right but hopefully we can get her better help soon

    • @sobhammy
      @sobhammy 2 роки тому +2

      I’m also in recovery :) got off my antidepressants a month ago after three years

    • @nambatyelcaaboshi5554
      @nambatyelcaaboshi5554 2 роки тому +2

      Glad to hear that!! I've been depressed for many years and I'm doing better but it's a battle to climb out I still struggle but it's far better than it was. I haven't had suicidal thought in about 2 months now

  • @no-2929
    @no-2929 2 роки тому +1095

    Depression isn't just a "I'm really sad" sort of thing, it's more often "I'm tired and numb, and I feel bad for feeling this way"

    • @meriembrasse2873
      @meriembrasse2873 2 роки тому +31

      It s a pain when it starts feeling like guilt, and we don't find the support we need or seek which makes us even deeper in it

    • @An_aviator
      @An_aviator 2 роки тому +14

      The "I'm really sad = depressed" thing is what some 11 year-olds say

    • @meriembrasse2873
      @meriembrasse2873 2 роки тому +9

      @@An_aviator ppl don't get it sometimes, it is a feeling of sadness and downess it s hard to explain it but they don't wanna believe it s real sometimes

    • @galuhmutiara1
      @galuhmutiara1 2 роки тому

      yeah

    • @madhur2759
      @madhur2759 2 роки тому +4

      It feels like why do we even exist.

  • @kinam3928
    @kinam3928 2 роки тому +150

    This hits home. Seriously. Two years ago, my mom died of cancer. During her last days at home, I was often left home to take care of her and her visitors. I lie awake every night in case she needs help going to the bathroom.
    I miss her so much when they brought her to the hospital. The day she was about to go home after almost a month in the hospital, we video called her at 6 am that day and said we'll prepare a small celebration for her arrival.
    We waited. But after 2 hours, I slowly realized more people and relatives came to help clean the house and the outside. It was 10 am that day when I heard one of my mom's student tell someone that mom died on the way home. The ambulance returned to the hospital to embalm her that's why they took a long time to return.
    We never said a proper goodbye and since then, waking up everyday is a challenge. I feel like there's an empty space wherever I go.
    There are times when I threw tantrums when others try to persuade me to go out. Being an introvert made it difficult for me to go outside. But mom's death made it worse for me. I no longer understand where I want to go. Home is where I find comfort but it also reminded me of mom and that is painful and difficult.

    • @yu-yu704
      @yu-yu704 2 роки тому +13

      I’m really sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a loved one. 🙏

    • @kinam3928
      @kinam3928 2 роки тому +3

      @@yu-yu704 thank you so much❤️

    • @carolyngondraneos2047
      @carolyngondraneos2047 2 роки тому +2

      That's sad

    • @pascalsemmler620
      @pascalsemmler620 2 роки тому +7

      I wanna be honest i dont really know what to say but much love to you! You can do it

    • @kinam3928
      @kinam3928 2 роки тому +2

      @@pascalsemmler620 thank you❤️❤️

  • @ahmedhafiz2419
    @ahmedhafiz2419 2 роки тому +189

    I wish I had seen this channel like 10 years ago. This is so comforting. Knowing that there somebody who understands me. Thank you for the videos. It's very helpful. 💓

  • @90messi90
    @90messi90 2 роки тому +618

    "..they are going through hell right now. And they may need you more than ever"...YES! Thank you for this.

    • @lemerle3914
      @lemerle3914 2 роки тому +1

      It's important to have that type of support

    • @cheyennetreat2526
      @cheyennetreat2526 2 роки тому

      But what if he’s going through depression, and doesn’t respond to me, even though he may need me? Do I stay? Or do I go?

    • @archieevans5155
      @archieevans5155 2 роки тому +5

      @@cheyennetreat2526 don’t just go, show that you care but give them a bit free room. If he doesn’t respond then try on another day! Eventually you’ll find a chance where he does respond

    • @schmetd6081
      @schmetd6081 2 роки тому +1

      @@archieevans5155 how can i show i care?
      edit: i tend to be focused on solutions more than support. so it’s weird.

    • @cheyennetreat2526
      @cheyennetreat2526 2 роки тому +2

      @@archieevans5155 thanks for the advice I appreciate it a lot! He actually ended up texting me today! I understand needing to take a break, but when he does without telling me, it scares me and I worry bc I know he has depression, and I know that he’s going through a lot.

  • @Sydneylovesyou
    @Sydneylovesyou 2 роки тому +457

    My parents always say its a choice … like you can’t honestly tell me that you aren’t like this. You don’t know how it is to hate yourself every day

    • @Cris_89Ar
      @Cris_89Ar 2 роки тому +29

      It's never a choice to have an imbalance in your brain chemistry. Nor do you control the situations that led to this imbalance.

    • @emeraldflames
      @emeraldflames 2 роки тому +10

      You don't know me and not in a creepy, physco way I lov you even if u don't luv yourself

    • @Anya-Beau
      @Anya-Beau 2 роки тому +10

      It isn’t a choice. No body chooses to be depressed and I’m sorry about that

    • @1unaeclips8
      @1unaeclips8 2 роки тому +2

      🥺❤️

    • @somethingsomething6461
      @somethingsomething6461 2 роки тому +7

      Ah yes because so many people would choose hating themselves and feeling horrible for no reason over living a happy, normal life

  • @deskglitter9027
    @deskglitter9027 2 роки тому +74

    This made me tear up so badly. Thank you for understanding. I’m battling it right now and it’s so hard to just get up. See friends anything. It’s just consuming.

    • @Mopen_
      @Mopen_ Рік тому +2

      Ay!One month later
      Are u better?Honestly I feel that I'm dealing with powerful depression too but I don't know that why I'm here to ask you that how are you doing now?
      Let me be honest,perhaps from one month ago I'm worse but I though it can be a good idea to have a little chat with someone close to my situation too.
      So,if u wanted you can answer back to my comment and tell me something about yourself..!

    • @ErrorClements.
      @ErrorClements. Рік тому +1

      ​@@Mopen_ are you ok,bro?
      If you need to talk,i can contact you in Amino or sth
      I am struggling myself,i was diagnosed with dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder) month ago( i think it gets better),so i understand you so much.

  • @carsonelias4594
    @carsonelias4594 Рік тому +9

    Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings.
    This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

    • @Elizabeth-gu8hx
      @Elizabeth-gu8hx Рік тому +3

      Yes, bergwilly11

    • @Armus187
      @Armus187 Рік тому

      A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

    • @jorgparker2463
      @jorgparker2463 Рік тому

      The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @patriaciasmith3499
      @patriaciasmith3499 Рік тому

      Is he on instagram?

    • @markaxel9799
      @markaxel9799 Рік тому

      Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.

  • @drnostalgia1
    @drnostalgia1 2 роки тому +847

    The simplest of tasks feel like a mountain to climb - that hit home. In my darkest episode just getting out of bed, showering , or changing out of pajamas were too hard - it was humiliating and the less I did, the harder it got to do anything

    • @emeraldflames
      @emeraldflames 2 роки тому +20

      I know that it's harder today n it's probably gonna get worse but remember even the tiniest step can make it better. You don't have to feel humiliated, it's fine!
      I hope it helps

    • @infonseka293
      @infonseka293 2 роки тому +23

      I am going through this period now. I got a lot to do but sleeping, eating and bathing are the only things I do. I hate it when I have to wake up knowing that my day is gonna be the same as ever. So dull.

    • @emeraldflames
      @emeraldflames 2 роки тому +7

      Have u tried making up the craziest fantasies in ur head like have u thought about ur idol face in a chickens body or that one time u had marvelous food.??

    • @Anya-Beau
      @Anya-Beau 2 роки тому +8

      It is hard to do stuff when you’re depressed. I hope that you get better❤️

    • @marag7420
      @marag7420 2 роки тому +9

      Same, and it's worse when your family doesn't understand and mocks you, like it's a struggle already without the ridicule

  • @ourirish_princess
    @ourirish_princess 2 роки тому +463

    i heard this somewhere i don’t remember where but it’s very true: “depression is basically when you don’t care about anything. anxiety is basically when you care about everything. so having both is hell.” i have both and i approve this message

    • @noo2927
      @noo2927 2 роки тому +5

      Same

    • @angelmaysonet5812
      @angelmaysonet5812 2 роки тому +3

      Same

    • @cazwilson7366
      @cazwilson7366 2 роки тому +5

      I like this. It is so accurate

    • @ashypoooooo
      @ashypoooooo 2 роки тому +1

      I love this so much

    • @AgonySoup
      @AgonySoup 2 роки тому +9

      Yup. It's like being pinned down by a whirlwind. You don't have the energy to get up a cook something to eat or brush your teeth, but at the same time thoughts/memories/self loathing is ripping through your skull. Fuck forbid ppl are talking outside at the same time and you're instantly thinking "are they talking about me?" "Did I do something wrong"? Especially if they're laughing or sound angry.

  • @jennifervautour9443
    @jennifervautour9443 2 роки тому +26

    These five reasons describe me. You explained me to me. I judge myself and get mad at myself because I can’t snap out of it and that I’m not trying hard enough. I always cancel plans and feel guilty. Wow.

    • @abigailcaro5368
      @abigailcaro5368 Рік тому

      You'll snap out of it once you see real people with real problems who would make your problems irrelevant. Wake up!

    • @Hyunjin_Loves_Felix281
      @Hyunjin_Loves_Felix281 Рік тому +3

      ​@@abigailcaro5368 Wake up yourself and rethink about that two sentences. Also watch Julia's other vids, she have said that people with depression feel like they sometimes don't have a reason to be depressed and that people have it worse, and things like your comment doesn't make it easier for people with depression.
      So just wake up yourself

  • @tonyadeyo8948
    @tonyadeyo8948 2 роки тому +18

    Omg literally brought me to tears. It's the first time I e heard someone understand what I'm going through for years after losing my mom my husband my son going through hell and ni one cares. Not one person. Thank you for this

    • @yogurtttt
      @yogurtttt 2 роки тому +2

      Oh no im so sorry for you

    • @willhemlourage
      @willhemlourage Рік тому +2

      I'm sorry to hear that :( hope your husband and son rest in peace. Everyone mourns differently, take your time and Embrace the emotion. It's okay. Hope you have a nice day / night

    • @abigailcaro5368
      @abigailcaro5368 Рік тому +1

      God cares. Jesus cares. That's all you need to know.

  • @vitaekaputri954
    @vitaekaputri954 2 роки тому +118

    "Depression? You're just lazy"
    That's what I think about myself. Maybe my parents as well??

    • @JG.Firestar
      @JG.Firestar 2 роки тому +3

      My parents always say to me that I'm lazy. Maybe I am.

    • @notme7012
      @notme7012 2 роки тому

      I think,that's what your parents brian washed you to think. Look back and think about it when you got over it, you see you're not the lazy person anymore.

    • @Living.La.Vida.
      @Living.La.Vida. 2 роки тому +2

      So much like my parents. Even 10 years after diagnosis I struggle to identify is I'm on a crisis, or just being lazy. Add anxiety and the guilt of it somehow it being my fault, and it's a really low low.

    • @kyy3959
      @kyy3959 2 роки тому

      That's what I was. Lazy and whiny. Like sir you don't know what is going on inside my brain nor do you care so kindly shush.

  • @Mia.V.W
    @Mia.V.W 2 роки тому +63

    I finally cleaned my room I hadn’t cleaned it since i got back from a hospital around a year ago it was so bad and I was so proud of myself for cleaning it

    • @erikalisetmehring8722
      @erikalisetmehring8722 2 роки тому +5

      Good job 😊😊😊

    • @maria199736
      @maria199736 2 роки тому +6

      Yeaaaah! You should be so proud of yourself! Enjoy that clean space!! ✌️

    • @wellshoot
      @wellshoot 2 роки тому +3

      I’m proud of you too! Good work!

    • @lisasargent2841
      @lisasargent2841 2 роки тому +3

      That is really a great accomplishment!!! Seriously. Be very proud of yourself.

    • @ameisweirdx
      @ameisweirdx 2 роки тому +1

      Hell yea!!! Im so proud of you

  • @r.tomrobison8307
    @r.tomrobison8307 2 роки тому +75

    Best explanation I have heard.

  • @joshuacastle9880
    @joshuacastle9880 2 роки тому +2

    As someone who is constantly battling depression sometime the best thing that people can do is simply give me a hug. For everyone who goes through this battle as well, know that you aren’t alone out there!!!

  • @Pikminization
    @Pikminization 2 роки тому +56

    My best friends just threw me out. They got tired of my low mood, they helped me so much and went out of their way but I do go out to dinner with them anymore, they go with other people and I don’t want to be around other people that are not close to me, I don’t want to open my trust to other people right now. They said I don’t hang out with them anymore. We have different schedules and honestly, I think that they try hard to match each others schedule and then they used to let me know, If I fit cool, I don’t cool. I always felt like a side dish. I’m not mad for that. But it punched me in the stomach that they complained about that, when they know what I am going through and it is not easy. Me going to social gathering even for a little bit takes me so much effort. I don’t feel safe with people, I can’t hold it for long and I am socially awkward when I used to be a social butterfly. I know people can notice the change in me. They said I don’t say hi to them, the people that have supported me the most and I feel guilty and horrible for making them feel that way, but it is not them. I did t know I was hurting them. I’m really trying hard to be social and outgoing again, but I don’t want to, I feel people judge me and think I must be a really bad person for deserving everything happening to me

    • @matcharonies7831
      @matcharonies7831 2 роки тому +12

      i'm finding it hard to articulate my worries and this just felt like something I ghostwritten. it's just so nice to know that there's somebody out there who's going through the same thing as I am and it actually makes me feel less lonely.

    • @hayleym7486
      @hayleym7486 2 роки тому +5

      All of us can support eachother

    • @hayleym7486
      @hayleym7486 2 роки тому +5

      @@matcharonies7831 know that you're definitely not alone

    • @ohyeah3365
      @ohyeah3365 2 роки тому +4

      This sounded like a script from my life, thank you! It took me quite a while but I eventually found real friends who accept my limitations. I pray you do as well. Remember you are not alone.

    • @IconofInnocence
      @IconofInnocence 2 роки тому +2

      You are deserving of love and support; please don't question that.
      I hope you know that as long as you keep trying, you will eventually be able to support yourself and also surround yourself with supportive people. It might not be easy, but it will always be possible.

  • @maylipkind
    @maylipkind 2 роки тому +75

    Made me cry a little bit. I’m glad I’m feeling better now after years of being depressed. It took a lot of time and work to get better but it’s totally worth it

    • @MirkwoodCrow
      @MirkwoodCrow 2 роки тому

      Any advice? Something you don't hear often like "think positively" "work out" "eat healthy"? Like a specific advice on *how* to do it?

    • @Just_me_eliane
      @Just_me_eliane 2 роки тому +2

      @@MirkwoodCrow i can only talk about what helped me. It's a combination of things, including therapy (helps a ton!), opening up to someone/trying to get a supportive circle of people, as hard as it is cutting people who make you feel unworthy and unlovable off/limiting contact and to keep trying, no matter what. Lists of different topics also help me remember my strenghts and my reasons to keep going when my brain tells me that i'm not capable or worty of anything. Plus try to make affirmations to yourself that you deserve good things qnd take care of yourself as much as your energy levels allow it (get out of bed, change clothes, brush teeth, get a small task done, if you have more energy clean your room a bit or go on a small walk/do a workout). These can be different for everyone, so try to find tasks that work for you.
      Baby steps are so important! All progress, small or big, is good.
      Another important one is to not shame yourself if you don't get the tasks you planned on doing done.
      You can tell yourself something along the lines of: "I'm dealing with a lot at the moment and I'm doing the best I can. I'm worthy, no matter how much I achieve.
      Be prepared that your journey is not going to be linear. You may make great progress for a few days/weeks and then fall back and feel like you lost all your advancements. You don't, your mind just tells you that. And you're not a bad person for feeling like you're regressing!
      You are not alone, sending love and hugs to you!
      You got this

    • @MirkwoodCrow
      @MirkwoodCrow 2 роки тому

      @@Just_me_eliane thank you for your comment! I had therapy, didn't help me personally at all because I knew more than my therapist, she also wasn't respecting my wishes and I left. I don't have people around me, to whom I could open up to... There's only my mom and she knows everything already and can only do so much. It's hard to get through all of this alone without friends who could support or distract me, but I'm trying. Thank you again ❤️

  • @markh9675
    @markh9675 Рік тому +3

    Number 4 immediately made me tear up, it's so incredibly true!

  • @Lana50500
    @Lana50500 2 роки тому +11

    As a person that is recovering and has already recovered a lot from depression, this is 100% true.

  • @ayumi9375
    @ayumi9375 2 роки тому +4

    I totally agree with the video and i'm more than happy to see that it helped a lot of people but some comments have been bothering me, some says that if their friends leave then they weren't "good friends" but i think most of the time if someone leaves you then sorry to say it but you're probably the "bad friend" in their eyes even if it wasn't your intention. Some people just don't have the mental stability to deal with a person with depression and that's okay, it doesn't make any of you a "bad friend", you just couldn't meet eachothers needs

    • @istrala
      @istrala 2 роки тому +1

      Thanks for saying this. Sometimes taking care of yourself means choosing to leave a relationship that is taking more resources than you can sustainably give. It doesn't make either party bad if this is the case.

  • @donnaward8302
    @donnaward8302 2 роки тому +9

    #5 Can't just snap out of it. I was sharing with my friend, that When depression hits...choosing joy is not obtainable.
    This short has power because of the understanding behind it.

  • @OtterlyButterly01
    @OtterlyButterly01 2 роки тому

    Frankly this video hits home. I’ve lost a lot of friends and partners because of my inability to get past that mountain. I’ve explained many times that it’s something I can’t help and i want to do better but I’m struggling to no avail or to be met with an argument.
    Still there’s better days ahead and to anyone going through the same i say this. Please talk about it to those who will listen someone will and they will make things infinitely easier. Hope everyone has an amazing day or week wherever you’re from

  • @axtakamada-ct8uj
    @axtakamada-ct8uj 6 місяців тому +1

    I cried watching this. I never knew that someone on the Internet could nail how I , a random stranger, coukd feel.
    Thank you

    • @xxmochaa
      @xxmochaa 3 місяці тому

      identical to me..

  • @jb-dk2xn
    @jb-dk2xn 2 роки тому +70

    I've known I need to see a therapist for a while can't afford it without health insurance

    • @lrnwlsn2
      @lrnwlsn2 2 роки тому +15

      The healthcare system must change!

    • @AA-os1rt
      @AA-os1rt 2 роки тому +7

      @@lrnwlsn2 hell yes this is really a big issue, and the humiliation which comes with this is fucking insane.

    • @archieevans5155
      @archieevans5155 2 роки тому +4

      I’m so privileged to live in Germany where therapy for teens is for free,, this really needs to standardize

    • @AgonySoup
      @AgonySoup 2 роки тому +1

      Same here. It's like 75 an appointment and we live off ham n cheese sandwiches and pizza rolls. There's no way I could afford the help that could change my life. I'll either die old and penniless or I'll finally crack and off myself. The depression and anxiety will never end, this is all I will ever experience.

    • @MirkwoodCrow
      @MirkwoodCrow 2 роки тому +4

      @@archieevans5155 It's also free for adults if the therapist says you actually need the therapy

  • @ChipArgyle
    @ChipArgyle 2 роки тому +5

    #6: When someone else denies your difficulty with it, you'd like that person to endure it at its worst to understand it, but only for a week, because you wouldn't wish anyone to have to suffer with it for a lifetime like you do.

  • @susanshikowski2024
    @susanshikowski2024 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for putting this into words. So simply put and understandable by those not living with depression!

  • @theodoraalexandratabacu4293
    @theodoraalexandratabacu4293 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you I have depression and makes me feel a little more safe to know people understand what some people go through

  • @Bombayboginka
    @Bombayboginka 2 роки тому +231

    “There still the same person”
    **can’t remember how or when I wasn’t depressed**

    • @myatthhu
      @myatthhu 2 роки тому +26

      yeah. feels like something is slowly eating you away and you don't know who or what you are anymore, lost in a place bustling with things giving emotions and you're just there, existing, without being able to take it in.

    • @denaze05
      @denaze05 2 роки тому +2

      This. Both of you ^

    • @maria199736
      @maria199736 2 роки тому +4

      Shii- I've been there. Thing is.. you're constantly changing so you couldn't be the person you were anyway. So that's you right now you're gonna be someone else in a year. Don't try to rate yourself, if you're better or worse. Memories aren't real haha you pretty much remember whatever you want and construct your memories. But you never forget feelings.

    • @iwasadeum
      @iwasadeum 2 роки тому +7

      Same. Depression kicked in around age 8 for me. I'm 30 now, tried every medication under the sun, therapists, psychologists... Nothing. Just a dead, empty husk right now. Keep waiting for things to get better, but they never do.

    • @mugen_-_2258
      @mugen_-_2258 2 роки тому +3

      I know man, I've been depressed for 2years now. I know something changed, I tried and thought I was getting better but it just keeps coming back. What I do know is that I'm still the same person with my friends and family. I just can't and stopped showing it to them, cuz how genuinely happy they make me. However, I feel like they can never understand. I might as well not talk about it and live life as it is. I think the message is directed to people we are with, it doesn't apply to how we view ourselves. It teaches other people that if someone they know is depressed it doesn't mean they should avoid them, fearing they changed for the worst. Instead be there for them because they need it.

  • @saniatamanna7763
    @saniatamanna7763 Рік тому

    Whatever she said is just quite authentic. Most people ask '' what's the reason of you being depressed and there is no reason for you to be depressed". Trying to invalide my depression is not actually the solution. Also she is absolutely right even the easiest task is like the hardest one

  • @terrykaphingst5106
    @terrykaphingst5106 2 роки тому +2

    thank you for this. I sent this to those close to me because sometimes they just don't get it

  • @mossyxmoony
    @mossyxmoony 2 роки тому +548

    Everyone else: **listening to her talk**
    Me: **watching the blocks fit together perfectly**
    Seriously tho they are satisfying to watch

    • @yaramyahyasharahla7878
      @yaramyahyasharahla7878 2 роки тому +2

      Same

    • @Sweetypiesugarlove
      @Sweetypiesugarlove 2 роки тому

      Well said

    • @robbydiamond8779
      @robbydiamond8779 2 роки тому +4

      I was thinking why a rainbow, as I watched the blocks fit so well together! It seems to me like I never catch the rainbow I'm always in the storm...

    • @trinetra2011
      @trinetra2011 2 роки тому +1

      The spaces in between are really messing with me

    • @kokobird
      @kokobird 2 роки тому +1

      Same

  • @jadanelson4112
    @jadanelson4112 2 роки тому +8

    I am about to cry right now, that is so accurate and it feels soooo so so good to know that someone understands the things you feel but can't express to other people while depressed😭😭💗💗thank you so so so much miss, bless your soul and heart💖

  • @nikolaip2
    @nikolaip2 2 роки тому +1

    When I met my gf, she was going through depression because one of her aunts had died. She was very quiet, didn't want to to anything but being alone and she also was very nervous about something. That aunt was very special to her because she was the only one that helped her when people did very bad things to her. I helped her get out of that in the way I could and step by step she eventually got out of it. She got through that like the queen she is and I'm really proud of her.

  • @LBM2255
    @LBM2255 2 роки тому +1

    I always struggled with depression, until I adopted a dog. She meant the world for me, never felt lonely around her. She was so loyal and affectionate, sweet and funny. It felt better being with her than most people I knew.

  • @kate_loves_bunnies1239
    @kate_loves_bunnies1239 2 роки тому +11

    honestly I wish I found your channel a year ago when I was struggling with my depression. I remember one time I didn't shower for over a week because it was just so mentally exhausting to me. I think if my family saw your channel when I was struggling they might have had a much better understanding of what I was going through too. I'm honestly grateful that people like you are still out there to help others (even if it might not seem to the average person like they need help), but most of all thank you for making people with depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses feel heard. I hope you keep up the great work and I hope you're doing well, you deserve it for helping so many more people than you know. ❤️

  • @maltonfil
    @maltonfil 2 роки тому +5

    Oh man. I love you. Every time I watch your videos, I wanna cry. I went through depression and almost ended my life. Everything you say is how it is. We all need someone to talk to. There hard days and good days. Take it one day at a time and speak to a professional like Dr Julie.

  • @preethum17
    @preethum17 2 роки тому

    So true. You have understood depressed people so well. God bless you Mam.

  • @priyanair7869
    @priyanair7869 2 роки тому

    Great psychologist! She kept us watching the video even if we didn’t really want to know anything particularly about depression.. and the message got through! 👏

  • @akai5550
    @akai5550 2 роки тому +3

    Wow. This helps me understand myself a little more. Now that I am aware. I can turn this around. I am trying to be my own therapist now. I fluctuate sometimes but I am impressed with how strong I have mentally gotten. I like feeling strong for others and for myself.

  • @Bavi_thaa
    @Bavi_thaa 2 роки тому +25

    I really needed this, I was telling my parents about depression, and they think it’s a joke

    • @manatiluna
      @manatiluna 2 роки тому +1

      ❤🌺

    • @LenaBeana62
      @LenaBeana62 2 роки тому +1

      My best friend is currently going through that and it is so hard not being able to help her

    • @manatiluna
      @manatiluna 2 роки тому

      @@LenaBeana62 you help by being a friend. Listening, consoling or letting your friend know that your on his/ her side.

    • @Damo-hg5wo
      @Damo-hg5wo 2 роки тому +1

      Not to invalidate anyone but your 12-13 chances are you don't have depression and you're trying to be different.

    • @Auvas_Damask
      @Auvas_Damask 2 роки тому

      @@Damo-hg5wo what? What stupid nonsense are you writing?

  • @JoeBidenIsAClown
    @JoeBidenIsAClown 8 місяців тому +1

    This video was one of the hardest hitting for me. Each reason was on point.

  • @novalopez3068
    @novalopez3068 2 роки тому

    I'm diagnosed as chronicly depressed and all these things are true.
    It is no one else's fault.
    I dont hate anyone else but myself.
    I may need help or more likely space.
    There is no cure, no praying it away.
    Only enduring and hoping tomorrow will be brighter.
    Thank you for your words!

  • @marshall3116
    @marshall3116 2 роки тому +91

    "Depression and suicidal? Just pray more"
    Gee thanks i feel so much better now..

    • @jgprice9990
      @jgprice9990 2 роки тому +9

      Im a christian, prayer is how we engage with God. Its not a fill in request form its a deliberate act of wanting to get closer and more intimate with God and through that He is able to work within us and through us.
      The God of all creation loves you ya know? The Being whose bigger than the whole universe itself lowers Himself just to be near you. Sent His son to die for you just so that sin wouldnt be in the way. Dont get me wrong im not saying all this as a convert speech. Im saying it to demonstrate what happens when we pray.
      The more we pray and read the word… the more we see how God see’s us and we get to experience the love that He has for us. Ive experienced that many times in prayer and its brought me to my knees in tears of joy it overwhelms you that much.
      So when a Christian says for you to pray.. they’re not saying it as a magic wand to wave or a potion to drink that magically solves everything. They’re saying it because they have been where you are… i have been where you are… and have experienced first hand the radical and transformative love of God.
      I suffered mental trauma from my own life, it got me to a real dark place even when i was a Christian… but it was only through prayer and agreeing with God’s word - believing the truth of how God saw me over the lies i believe about myself - that i was able to overcome drastically.
      I hope this helps.

    • @gigachad4306
      @gigachad4306 2 роки тому +2

      @@jgprice9990 he works within lil kids with the help of priests🤨

    • @rbctmg6131
      @rbctmg6131 2 роки тому +3

      So true. I am a Christian but struggling with depression and I don't really look for help or answers from God coz I know Jesus won't just appear in front of me to heal or talk or explain why I had a traumatic childhood. So, I keep religion and my self being separately. It gets worse when I feel suicidal and my mom tries to guilt trip me by telling me I'll go to hell if I do that, etc. Like, parents can be so toxic sometimes.. ughhh

    • @robertlongwill8856
      @robertlongwill8856 2 роки тому

      Marshall that makes me feel so much better. Lol

    • @robertlongwill8856
      @robertlongwill8856 2 роки тому

      @@jgprice9990 it doesn't help keep your false god out of it. We are talking about people's lives here especially youngsters.

  • @dolansound9297
    @dolansound9297 2 роки тому +38

    Me wakes up in the morning and looks at my messy ass room: *GO BACK TO SLEEP GO BACK TO SLEEP*

  • @SadKitty420
    @SadKitty420 4 місяці тому

    Every one of your videos makes me cry .. finally someone who can speak for me when I don't know how to tell my husband how I feel ...past trauma and abuse .

  • @Artypyromancer
    @Artypyromancer 2 роки тому

    I just want to appreciate the explanation of depression. I have both anxiety and depression which in most cases overwhelms me. So I’m glad there is an accurate explanation and shows how similar anxiety can seem to depression as well.

  • @haripriyabale906
    @haripriyabale906 2 роки тому +5

    I had a question. What if the person in depression doesn't wants us to be with him? Do we still need to be with them? Is it their depression or is it their personal choice to not to be around us?

    • @jsch2762
      @jsch2762 2 роки тому

      Hey, you can explain that you will be there to listen, to talk about whatever or even sitting next to the other person and only spending time together in silence. Whatever feels ok for the other person. (but please take care of your self, too).
      You could go for walks, play a game or maybe do a "cleaning party" and do the dishes together.
      You can say it's totally ok, if the depressed person wants you to go home or if she is canceling a plan.
      You can say, that you'll wait for the other person to call you whenever she wants to and you can ask, if it's ok to offer a plan from time to time.
      Maybe the other person would use your offer someday and it's a little help for her to know, that you are there for her, even, if you are not around in person.

    • @haripriyabale906
      @haripriyabale906 2 роки тому

      @@jsch2762 yeah I tried that but the problem is that the person clearly said me to go away from his life. I'm not quite sure if I should still be for there or just leave. Could you please help me out with this?

    • @jsch2762
      @jsch2762 2 роки тому +1

      @Haripriya Bale ok, personally, I would wait for the other person to call me, whenever he is ready for it. But I would say or text hello from time to time (maybe every 2 weeks) and suggest a walk, a short talk, get a coffee or something. (Maybe only one offer at a time, long texts and multiple options could be very overwhelming. ) Just to remind the other person, that you are there. Maybe one day, it feels ok for him to say yes or ask for something else. If he is again clearly saying you should not call, text or speak to him anymore, not now in the moment and not in the future, than I would respect it and let him go. It could be good selfprotection for yourself too, if you let him go.
      But you could emphasize one last time that you will be there for him, whenever he wants, no matter if it would be next week, in 10 month or even in 3 years. Provided you want it.
      Please if this situation is really emotionally or even physically bothering you, look for help like a therapist to talk to. To deal with an other person's depression can be very tiring and burdensome.

    • @haripriyabale906
      @haripriyabale906 2 роки тому +1

      @@jsch2762 okay thank you so much buddy ✨❤️ this would really help me

  • @theHoptimist383
    @theHoptimist383 2 роки тому +3

    Some days its okay to just breathe. This helps me trough my darkest hours.

    • @madelinemaize9786
      @madelinemaize9786 2 роки тому +1

      I feel you. I have to cut myself a break some days because I don't have the ability to push past it and function

  • @helenwalker716
    @helenwalker716 Рік тому

    I’ve never heard it put any clearer. I’m sharing with my friends to help them understand. Thank you

  • @denisepfahl3147
    @denisepfahl3147 Рік тому

    Thank you Dr Julie! My son has depression and you are so validating
    of these important points!

  • @mominaali3474
    @mominaali3474 2 роки тому +9

    Can you make a video about social anxiety and sudden anxiety around ppl

  • @jennywatts1201
    @jennywatts1201 2 роки тому +6

    Thank you for this I find it difficult explaining how my depression affects me this summer it up perfectly 🥰 💞

  • @NickAndersson
    @NickAndersson 2 роки тому

    You are definitively right! Thank you for this really true video. I hope the right people will see it

  • @sadananagaraj9141
    @sadananagaraj9141 2 роки тому

    I teared up watching this. Whatever you said is soo true. Hope people understand and accept depression is not drama or going into a cocoon. Every day feels like a challenge - mentally

  • @ghembrain
    @ghembrain 2 роки тому +7

    Thank u for this reminder. I need to see this every day.

  • @micheal4418
    @micheal4418 2 роки тому +10

    I really appreciated this!

  • @G-Sagittastellium
    @G-Sagittastellium Рік тому

    This is so validating. Thank you. I feel ALL of these , these are all things I wish I could tell my friends / family and that they’d understand!!!

  • @juliannahenson4808
    @juliannahenson4808 Рік тому +1

    That is so true.. And when i push someone away that doesn't mean i dont need or want them that means i just dont want to risk hurting their mental health with mine....

  • @manida9020
    @manida9020 2 роки тому +16

    You know, we see lots of videos about people who have depression . But we never see one for people around them. I myself am depressed too but honestly I don’t know how to act around my boyfriend sometimes who has depression too. And these videos really help me. Help me understand him and his behavior better.
    So yes
    I guess these guide videos are as important as defining depression.

  • @learner2127
    @learner2127 2 роки тому +7

    I wish I can share this to people I love....I've been really trying to get out of it..but still out of my control.

  • @rodgeyd6728
    @rodgeyd6728 Рік тому

    I'm so glad I found your channel, its like a weight of my shoulders, if only that it tells me I'm not alone and there's more fellow sufferers out there like me.
    🙏💞

  • @mountainsnowbird4683
    @mountainsnowbird4683 Рік тому

    I just busted into tears. Knowing someone knows the truth.

  • @grizzly6260
    @grizzly6260 2 роки тому +7

    I went through it alone and in class I would have random breakdowns only a few teachers were supportive but only 1 stuck with me until the very end and I have so much respect for her but my parents and family were never there even my "friends" we're never with me

  • @Mina-px3zb
    @Mina-px3zb 2 роки тому +3

    I have been going through depression for so many years now. Wonder when it will go away or if it ever will. Started when I was 16 living in a very abusive household, now I'm 27 and it's still there even with all my experiences. So hard to connect with anyone with this heavy anvil on my body along with a million negative thoughts whirring around my mind. I get told to get over it and how I am an adult. I wish it were that simple. Some days I sleep 3 hours and some days I sleep 14-15 hours in a day. Nothing is consistent nor am I completely sure about anything. I hope death is more easy or whatever happens after that. Life feels too long and meaningless. Like a living corpse

    • @vi0l3trs47
      @vi0l3trs47 2 роки тому

      You and me both... I'm 21 now and I can't remember when I was truly happy, without fear and anxiety. though I have one good idea that's keeping me from doing it, and it's been working. Focus on those little happy moments, whatever that may be. I can't even remember a time when I didn't have those thoughts.

    • @Mina-px3zb
      @Mina-px3zb 2 роки тому

      @@vi0l3trs47 Not fear and anxiety but anxiety and depression for me. People say they relate but honestly most manage just fine. Nothing irks me more than people being fake to have some similarity. Even as I'm sharing some of it , its a very pathetic and vulnerable state most see as useless. Im glad it's working for you tho.

    • @vi0l3trs47
      @vi0l3trs47 2 роки тому

      @@Mina-px3zb sometimes you gotta be "useless and pathetic" though, gotta get though the shit in order for happiness. That's just the way I see it though, and just gotta remind myself that on my bad days. Iv seen so many people being fake either for attention or for pushing people away so I understand the irk you get for them. Hope your feeling OK though, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. Because you deserve it.

  • @vibe9318
    @vibe9318 2 роки тому

    This makes me be so much more glad that I no longer have depression and I'm glad my life started to go upwards instead of constantly spiraling and not wanting to get out of bed

  • @cindycole4326
    @cindycole4326 Рік тому

    Thank you. You put what I can’t explain into words. I’m going to repeat what you said to my GP and my Psychiatrist.

  • @Hot-Tamale
    @Hot-Tamale 2 роки тому +4

    Love the Ludovico Einaudi music, perfect

  • @victornikiforov1792
    @victornikiforov1792 2 роки тому +15

    Thank you for this! I wish I could send this to my parents back when my depression was really severe..I'm in recovery stage now..I can make it!! haha

    • @ronmoshe123
      @ronmoshe123 2 роки тому +1

      Hope u will make it❤ im counting on u!!

  • @sonjakrsmanovic4470
    @sonjakrsmanovic4470 Рік тому

    I ve loved through it still battling from time to time but learnt to live with it . Thank you Dr Julie 😊

  • @ongsokbeesally7121
    @ongsokbeesally7121 2 роки тому +1

    It's so true.. I felt so difficult to move on. I'm so tired.

  • @pips6955
    @pips6955 2 роки тому +3

    my stepmom has this habit of telling me "oh the depression is all in your head, if you just think youre happy, you'll be happy" like, uh, no??

  • @kendall.grace111
    @kendall.grace111 2 роки тому +3

    omg the way that i understood everything she said made me sad

  • @deborahsheets2604
    @deborahsheets2604 2 роки тому

    I suffer from chronic depression. I have never felt so understood. Thank you for this

  • @donaldgeorge3001
    @donaldgeorge3001 2 роки тому

    Am in that state at the moment, sometimes I think that the world hate me, but I keep pushing, I was about ending it all before I came across this video. Thank you so much you gave me hope again

  • @simpleeasyrangoli4413
    @simpleeasyrangoli4413 2 роки тому +4

    Hi there doc .. My aim is to be a doctor ... Apart form this .... Can you do a video on grieving because I lost my grandfather recently . I didn't shed a drop of tear the day he died but later after almost a year I am feeling miserable , not able to control my feelings , don't know how to express it and whom to tell, just the days r going on but I am still staying in that darkness , not able to do a single task , always moody somewhat like depression , self blaming , late night sleeps , there are many happy moments going on but I am not able to enjoy the happiness , no satisfaction in anything etc .... Please do a video on that it would really help a lot , a lot of people in the world ... I would be so thankful to you and I am too as you helped me so much ... Ur channel popped up randomly but now it's a routine to watch ur vids for making my situation better ...

  • @Azucenary
    @Azucenary 2 роки тому +23

    “But you haven’t been diagnosed!”

    • @abiorable
      @abiorable 2 роки тому +4

      You need to be diagnosed because so many people say they have it without even getting checked if they do.

    • @Azucenary
      @Azucenary 2 роки тому +5

      @@abiorable yes, but some people can’t get diagnosed. People who feel depressed but aren’t diagnosed should at least get the support they need. I’ve been diagnosed with another disorder and borderline depression and anxiety. It’s because I didn’t check enough boxes on a form. I don’t believe that some boxes should change too much on what is assumed someone is feeling. And even more on the support they receive.
      People shouldn’t withdrawal help just because someone is not diagnosed. If they’re feeling horrible they’re feeling horrible. Now this may mean they can’t use a few resources that are in place for diagnosed depressed people.(that’s why there’s a term for Clinically depressed) But they do deserve the respect and support of family and friends. The person I quoted is a family member who refused to help me. Depression is something that is “over 2 weeks of prolonged sadness” there more severe cases. You can be ‘happy’ at times but still feel weighed down. If I’ve been feeling this way for even longer I do deserve family to talk to and comfort me. *But many take the lazy way out and say that i’m not diagnosed meaning I don’t have it and im lying.*

    • @kyy3959
      @kyy3959 2 роки тому

      I was never diagnosed because I hid it very well. My parents didn't really care if they never really saw me, so they never thought anything of it other than that I was "moping" around. I felt nothing, not a single emotion for weeks and that terrified the crap out of me. So I had to diagnose myself so I could figure out how I could break what I was feeling.

    • @NoNamerNe
      @NoNamerNe 2 роки тому

      Some people fake it, but the ones who don't and haven't been diagnosed need the attention the ones that have been diagnosed too. I was just diagnosed this year mainly but I know that I've had it for a good 6-7 years. No one payed attention and everyone just called me lazy. In my opinion, so this won't happen, the doctors should try to see everyone 4 and up for depression. Cause you can still have depression at that age but it's more common for older people. We need to get people aware of this.

    • @johnsmelley4449
      @johnsmelley4449 2 роки тому +1

      @@NoNamerNe people who are depressed. Really depressed don’t want people to know. It’s like there’s a voice in your head saying, “of they see this part of you they will hate you. Laugh at you and bully you! Keep it in. Just fake it and never tell a soul. It’s for your own good.”

  • @jameseenacoene5769
    @jameseenacoene5769 Рік тому

    Thank you for knowing all these things about me and still being my friend. Jamie

  • @craignewman9836
    @craignewman9836 2 роки тому

    2 hours of scrolling through videos and then you hear this. Thank you for.putting this pain and confusion into such a simple and beautifully put video.

  • @crreamuu
    @crreamuu 2 роки тому +6

    "depression isn't a choice"
    heard that 10 year olds? You can't just pretend to have a depression even when you're not.

  • @lancejay4958
    @lancejay4958 2 роки тому +3

    Personally the best cure for depression for me is sunlight.

    • @PushaT_cells
      @PushaT_cells 2 роки тому

      Sounds like you might have depression from a vitamin D deficiency. Wish it was that simple for all of us.

  • @maryyvonnearenas9954
    @maryyvonnearenas9954 2 роки тому +1

    The last one really bring me tears,I Was just listening but when the last one comes,especially the word "they're still the same person" my tears started to fall to my cheeks,and now I'm crying..

  • @sackthing986
    @sackthing986 2 роки тому

    Thank you, I managed to stop my friends from killing their self a few weeks ago based on your advice and although they don't feel they can get help yet, they're getting better day by day and ik if I wasn't their I would've lost them, so thank you

  • @supreme.9025
    @supreme.9025 2 роки тому +3

    My teacher said depression was a choice-

  • @sanchitashukla721
    @sanchitashukla721 2 роки тому +3

    When you show this to your Indian parents:
    Depressed child: 🙂

  • @michaeltowslee4111
    @michaeltowslee4111 2 роки тому

    Dr., Thank you for truths to two people know or acknowledge.

  • @williamhanley7031
    @williamhanley7031 2 роки тому

    You are the best. I want everyone to know this . You said it well

  • @recordartmedia9897
    @recordartmedia9897 2 роки тому

    Real Talk . I love the massage . So touching

  • @ptwombley1993
    @ptwombley1993 2 роки тому

    As someone who suffers from chronic depression this is very true. Depression can be even more difficult for those suffering from other metal health conditions at the same time.

  • @Toad_bonk
    @Toad_bonk 2 роки тому

    This is so true. As a person who has been diagnosed with depression clinically this is totally true and i hate that a lot of people say i’m just a big baby or that i need to suck it up. People don’t realize saying those things make it worse it doesn’t help. Its so hard to get rid of and the fact people push us it makes life a literal hell it makes things so much worse. People don’t realize how bad something is until they experience it themselves.

  • @gloryseavey5379
    @gloryseavey5379 2 роки тому

    this is so true we do need u when we are feeling lost and sad and hopeless and fear will still be in you because you can't let the past go I know this bc I have this problem praying is helping a lot this is why I want to be a mental health therapist so I can help people with the same problem as us

  • @Mr.Moonshot
    @Mr.Moonshot 2 роки тому

    Thank you for letting people understand what depression really is. I don’t personally have depression, but I understand the truth of it. But unfortunately, some people don’t. You and the people are the reason people will understand mental disorders more easily.

  • @sonalisahai1074
    @sonalisahai1074 Рік тому

    This is so true. I have no clue why I’m depressed, but that doesn’t make it any less real

  • @Hania-g6y
    @Hania-g6y 2 роки тому

    I really need this from last 4 years because of my husband I was too much confused regarding his behaviour right after marriage
    Thank you so much doc
    GOD bless you

  • @Chrissyrozes81
    @Chrissyrozes81 2 роки тому

    Thank you for telling people how to understand me

  • @shaunduffy861
    @shaunduffy861 2 роки тому

    What a lovely empathetic person, thank you

  • @Lana-the-Mess
    @Lana-the-Mess Рік тому +1

    Exactly. I am going through depression over losing my Dad and now taking care of my elderly Mom. Its been so hard and everyone around me just tells me not to feel this way or that way. Same for anxiety and ones pressuring You to get over it. Those ones must be lucky to never have experiences anxiety to be able to say that.

  • @morgananderson7171
    @morgananderson7171 2 роки тому

    As a person with depression I get depressed a lot and I have lost a lot of friends this way cuz I feel like I need to run away from anyone my dad helps me thru a lot of it and he is like my hero!!

  • @theabsentmindedprofessor8357
    @theabsentmindedprofessor8357 2 роки тому

    Absolutely nailed it! I just went through close to ten years of not being able to do a single thing, I have a beautiful support system and an angle that loves me more that I could ever hope for and these things were instrumental in me finding my way and the path to recovery. Praise Jesus.