Why do we seek? Is there any reason to seek a better future if we're fully comfortable and content with the way our body feels now? When thoughts slow down, you may notice that there is discomfort in the body, which may show up in a myriad of ways: pain, anxiety, anger, or any other sensation or emotion... This is part of the reason that we get addicted to thought- because it’s an immediately available way to avoid or try to fix the way our bodies feel. We won't be able to rest in presence for very long if we keep ignoring or avoiding discomfort. Rather, we'll continue to follow thoughts about past and future... We'll keep trying to escape... So, how do we bring direct attention to the energies of our body? The first step is to acknowledge that you are feeling something. We tend to acknowledge emotions and sensations first through the mind... We might think, "I’m angry," or "I’m afraid of what might happen," or we may simply notice that something is bothering us... But we can't feel emotions or sensations through thinking. These thoughts are narratives or labels for how we feel. They are not the actual energies themselves. For example, if you have the thought "I have a stomachache," that thought is a label for something that is actually happening in your body... In order to actually feel or experience the stomachache directly, you would have to bring attention down into the stomach area and feel it without thoughts on it... The same is true for all emotions and sensations. Once you acknowledge that you feel something or have been triggered/activated by someone or some event, bring attention very gently to the body where you feel the actual emotion or sensation... With your attention there, feel into the sensation or emotion, and see if you can notice the peripheral space around it at the same time. Let the emotion or sensation just hang there in that open space, without trying to change, neutralize, or get rid of it... It is common to want to change, neutralize, or get rid of bodily energies. Just notice any tendency to want to do these things. This is resistance at work, and trying to stop that resistance from happening is simply adding more resistance. Bear in mind that we give power to words, pictures, and bodily energies by turning awareness away from them. And we diminish their power by turning toward them and remaining aware of them until they fade naturally. That one simple understanding, if turned into a daily practice, is highly transformative.
3 men in my life: the first - was just a very young girl, with zero self esteem, and a much older, VERY abusive man the second - was a symptom of self loathing the third - was a result of despair and desperation I PRAY I CHANGE THIS PATTERN I PRAY I HEAL I pray the next man, will be the last one. the true one. the real one. I vibrate I radiate I create
my soul is raped the man I revered as my best friend, raped my soul he abandoned and betrayed and discarded and replaced me over the past 15 months (almost 16), while I've been desperately trying to heal from the trauma that he's caused me... he's been with my replacement, making all of his wildest dreams come true! the pain is truly debilitating and paralyzing completely unfathomable do we really create your own reality, even before we incarnate into this world? if so, why this? this morning I read a quote from Lao Tzu, went something like: God gives you the people you need, not the ones you want. utter bullshit? or truth?
I would sell my soul to die I can no longer bear this hell that I am in I am tortured and tormented and haunted and raped PTSD flashbacks destroy me I want to die I cannot wait to die I'm in hell with no escape
Why do we seek?
Is there any reason to seek a better future
if we're fully comfortable and content
with the way our body feels now?
When thoughts slow down,
you may notice that there is discomfort in the body,
which may show up in a myriad of ways:
pain, anxiety, anger, or any other sensation or emotion...
This is part of the reason that we get addicted to thought-
because it’s an immediately available way
to avoid or try to fix
the way our bodies feel.
We won't be able to rest in presence for very long
if we keep ignoring or avoiding discomfort.
Rather,
we'll continue to follow thoughts about past and future...
We'll keep trying to escape...
So,
how do we bring direct attention to the energies of our body?
The first step is to acknowledge that you are feeling something.
We tend to acknowledge emotions and sensations first through the mind...
We might think, "I’m angry," or "I’m afraid of what might happen,"
or we may simply notice that something is bothering us...
But we can't feel emotions or sensations through thinking.
These thoughts are narratives or labels for how we feel.
They are not the actual energies themselves.
For example, if you have the thought "I have a stomachache,"
that thought is a label for something that is actually happening in your body...
In order to actually feel or experience the stomachache directly,
you would have to bring attention down into the stomach area
and feel it without thoughts on it...
The same is true for all emotions and sensations.
Once you acknowledge that you feel something
or have been triggered/activated by someone or some event,
bring attention very gently to the body
where you feel the actual emotion or sensation...
With your attention there, feel into the sensation or emotion,
and see if you can notice the peripheral space around it at the same time.
Let the emotion or sensation just hang there in that open space,
without trying to change, neutralize, or get rid of it...
It is common to want to change, neutralize, or get rid of bodily energies.
Just notice any tendency to want to do these things.
This is resistance at work,
and trying to stop that resistance from happening
is simply adding more resistance.
Bear in mind that we give power to words, pictures, and bodily energies
by turning awareness away from them.
And we diminish their power by turning toward them
and remaining aware of them
until they fade naturally.
That one simple understanding,
if turned into a daily practice,
is highly transformative.
3 men in my life:
the first -
was just a very young girl,
with zero self esteem,
and a much older,
VERY abusive man
the second -
was a symptom of self loathing
the third -
was a result of despair and desperation
I PRAY I CHANGE THIS PATTERN
I PRAY I HEAL
I pray the next man,
will be the last one.
the true one.
the real one.
I vibrate
I radiate
I create
my soul is raped
the man I revered as my best friend,
raped my soul
he abandoned and betrayed and discarded and replaced me
over the past 15 months (almost 16),
while I've been desperately trying to heal
from the trauma that he's caused me...
he's been with my replacement,
making all of his wildest dreams come true!
the pain is truly debilitating and paralyzing
completely unfathomable
do we really create your own reality,
even before we incarnate into this world?
if so,
why this?
this morning I read a quote from Lao Tzu, went something like:
God gives you the people you need,
not the ones you want.
utter bullshit? or truth?
I would sell my soul to die
I can no longer bear this hell that I am in
I am tortured and tormented and haunted and raped
PTSD flashbacks destroy me
I want to die
I cannot wait to die
I'm in hell with no escape