IS THE NARCISSIST JEALOUS OF YOU?
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- Опубліковано 16 гру 2023
- #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissists Narcissists are jealous of people who have traits that they don't, like empathy, honesty and vulnerability. At the same time, they have very little understanding of what these traits are and what they're worth. In this video, we will explore how the narcissist can be jealous of the very things they cannot recognize or understand.
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They don’t recognize they’re jealous. It’s unconscious.
Their thinking is twisted like a tornado-normal person can’t keep up.
Crazy 😜
Narcissist doesn’t want you to do anything for anyone but them.
They are jealous that you have REAL empathy. They only understand it cognitively.
When I finally tore free from him, he wrote me this long email about what he thought was "bad" and "wrong" about me. Clue: none of it was true. He used and manipulated bits of reality, but none of it were a true reflection of my character. He called me a coward and a runner because I was fleeing 6 years of him emotionally, verbally, psychologically and financially abusing me. I was relieved to be free from him, but what really stung is that he put in so much effort to write this long list of my so-called bad traits, when at no point in the "relationship, did he ever acknowledge my good traits, qualities and efforts. I bent over backwards for him. Every day, I'd ask myself how I can make life better for him. He never acknowledged any of my efforts, in fact, he sometimes they used to anger him. I think he was offended by my capacity to kind and generous... Oh, well. 1 year, 7 months free, and counting!!!!💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
This sounds really familiar! lol. I was told I abandoned him, and that he would have never done such a thing to me. He didn't ever acknowledge that he and his drinking could be the issue. And was also quick to list how terrible I was too. They are sick evil people.
So hurtful when someone tells you everything that's 'wrong' with you. It's their own frustration with what's wrong with their life.
Looking in the mirror, listening to music, and simply being original and having something called joy, triggers this narc. I don't have to obey their every command!
The narcissist breakdown. You asked in a previous video. Been married to one for 43 years. Mr charming and always in control, spooky, I didn't know till I got help. He would sit in the garage and rock for up to 2 days. Non communicative. I didn't know what I was dealing with. I'm free now.
Some alone time is healthy.
I think and experience that my Narc was attracted to me because I had strengths and qualities that he KNOWS he does not have. And yes, he used those against me.
I think it’s that they know you have something they don’t, something good that others admire. And even though they don’t understand what it is or what it means, they hate you and are jealous. Because, well, Narc 🫠
We just don t have the same mentality
At a certain age what people think of you , does not matter.😂
The biggest problem is we are elite and crave an intellectual understanding of our problems. And that is not always easy to come across.
Love your cat. What a cute meow. I have 2 myself. They have been instrumental in my healing.
The same thing happened to me when I studied beauty, nails, make-up, they amade such elaborate whatever, can't remember, I didn't have much money, was very alone, I was older, mid forties, I felt so ashamed and I felt like they were all judging me as being too old, a old lady, I couldn't do the nails, afterwards I realised it was wrong for me and a step down as I had been secretary for many years but I had such low self esteem, in my own eyes I was good for nothing, I was in AA and battling alcoholism and this added greatly to my feelings of inferiority, I came from a seriously abusive background, my sisters were evil but I didn't know that then!🎉🎉I discovered now I am a good artist and thats what I should have done, I was sick from the alcohol too!❤❤
Could you do a video on narcissists and thank you's and them not being good with other people giving them things? I run into this a lot. It's pretty weird too!
As an example....the covert liked to do a lot of giving. Always a big production too. But if I brought homemade foods over to him, some craft I made that was tailored to him, or really just anything, I would get an uncomfortable look, then a smile and a "oh what's this?" And after he took it out of the bag, he would quickly start talking about something else, like a distraction. He never said thank you, and I would never hear later how he liked the soup, etc.
Another time I offered to help him and give him something, as I could see that he needed it, and he just refused to accept it. Totally needed it too. I finally said, "Why are you so bad at receiving anything from others?" He looked blank and confused, might have even self reflected for a 1/2 second, then said "I don't know." My thought is that they give to others to create obligation in them. A good form of control. But if they "accept" something, that means they are now obligated to YOU, and that you hold the control. And, if they're painting you as the bad person, there's no way they can accept any goodness from you. I gave things that a year later he would see in his house and not even remember it was me that gave it to him!! Mind blowing.
It's the most bizarre and uncomfortable thing to be around too! 😂 Normal people don't act this way.
I think you explained it really well 👍🏽
Your theory makes a lot of sense. That’s a really interesting phenomenon. They have a really hard time with expressing gratitude for anything because they don’t feel gratitude, and your theory is certainly a big part of why. Thank you for the suggestion.
Yes, sometimes it hurts less to be/feel anger, rather than let ourselves feel pain/heartache. One time i was missing, and crying, on Valentine's Day, my loved ones who've passed away (just lost a 24 yo nephew). This clown was like, "Why cry?" He couldn't get it. Dump.....
The narcissist does things reluctantly.
What they're definitely jealous of is our deep, authentic, trust-based relationships, and they are capable of going to great lenghts in order to sabotage those. Probably they sense the value those relationships carry and are so jealous of it, yet so incapable of building such connections themselves, that they cannot resist the urge to try to diminish, undermine and ultimately destroy them in our lives. In short, I think we can say they are jealous of love ...
Future video idea - seeing codependents as narcissistic during your healing journey. Basically identifying manipulation everywhere. Then learning to see that many people manipulate for validation but with good intentions for all, whereas narcissists want others only for their utility and lack empathy. And then there are those few who actually self-validate…
I forgot to say after rocking himself for two days he got up and he was back in control. Mr Charming. Hah while I continue to rear our children. Good for that entity. He took two days off.
My husband can’t understand how I have a good wholesome relationship w my adult children .. when he buys them off their whole life , like he never shows up for their activities or special occasions , instead he’d buy them something .. I think that’s why he can’t stand me bc I see & hear them and he doesn’t 😵💫
PS--Really good video--Also helps us understand how the N mind works; and by default don't personalize it. Don't stay tho either; not healthy (to say the least). We are not responsible for their mental health (or lack thereof)....Self-care is the name-of-the game....Big thanks, and cute kitty cat!!!!
This reminds me so much of my ex. The whole video.
This is so good. Your personal experience and explanation is so helpful to understand this. I also commend your honesty and vulnerability to critique your own humanity. Narcissistic traits are a thin line to fall into. I think back to how as a child I could have become a narcissist if my parents had enabled my tantrums. We are so blessed to be not only self aware but also able to put in the work to change.
Thank you. I think in order to truly understand a narcissist, we have to be willing to acknowledge the ways that we have used narcissistic defense mechanisms in our own life. We all have or have had narcissistic moments of our own. It’s just that, for pathological narcissists, there is nothing else.
Thank you for your vulnerability. You are a worthy person. F shame.
In short their haters. Let me make sure I have this straight.(narcissist)- seeing someone with a really nice car that they wished they had and not appreciating what it took to earn that car. But instead they brood (the world's ending) because they think they somehow deserve your car all while doing nothing to take steps to earn one and hate the fact you were willing to do what it took and were rewarded. they should have your car simply because they're a "good people" or "better" somehow. Did I get that right? Lol this is madding 😂
Golly this really hit home. This is what l have been doing for the last 12 years.
OMG, you have a grown son? I thought you were about 25 or 30.
Awww. Thanks. That’s really sweet. I’m in my mid 40s, and it’s starting to catch up to me I think. Haha.
I thought that as well! 😊
@@LookingBehindtheMirrorobviously don’t drink or smoke. Looks great
I thought you're like 27. My math starts cracking 😀
Hahahaha. Oh my gosh. Thanks. That’s so nice. I’m in my 40s.
@@LookingBehindtheMirrorcongrats and all the best to your son!
A great dissertation 🎉
Good analogy using the bar of gold 👍🏼✨️👍🏼
I also never seen narcissist to pick ordinary person. One self aware narcissist said that we are not special for him. (any person he picked). But then why they pick the total GEMS?! The unique, creative, authentic, original, loyal, caring, loving people (ofc very empathetic ones)? I know narcissist seek people with empathy but why they dont pick the others with little bit less empathy, basic person? If we arent special to them? I also feel like If only narcissists saw my value. Even tho I know they want to use people but still.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing your stories. I know moms have had trouble not shaming each other in the past, and I hope none of your son's friends' moms shamed you. Jealousy I think is normal to a degree; we just gotta learn how to handle it right. And I guess it may be safe to say that a lot of your self-esteem in that was because your son's father was narcissistic and the other dads maybe weren't? Anyway, Merry Christmas
We have nothing to with our parents
GREAT STUFF !!!!!!! THANKS 😄😄😄😄😄😄
Thank you so much
Narcs are not jealous. What gets under a Narcs skin is someone is justifiably selected/ chosen for a priviledge or property the Narcs believe they should have received. Which emotionally/ mentally empowers them to illegally and unfairly sabotage to unbelieveable depths to get they're way. My wife and 2 girls were savagely split making me homeless. All were identifying me as the cause. The brownstone was owned by my grandma. I was her other righthand besides my dad. What no one knew grandma, dad and myself are up an hour or so before the sun. The Narc is moving until sometime between 10a & 2pm. I create and work opportunities of legitimate education and trade. Retired, I am satisfied with what I've done in life. God sees my worth.
Narcissist will turn you insecure.
The Pharoahs build their kingdom with the energy/ light/ lifestrength of the hebrews/ Gods people NOT on the energy of the egyptians..Is Pharaoh not one of THE giant expressions odf narcism?...He boasted and demanding to be called God on earth..Worshipping himself and demanding it from others aspeciallyfrom the hebrews convincing them that the where nothing more than slaves( unworthy and yet totally depending on them to build him a kingdom ..So i believe that narcs are completly aware of the qualities of those they abuse and belittle at the same time.. Like any narc the Pharoah stalked the hebrews as the left egypt under the leadership of moses..realizing that without them he would be NOTHING but a thief of others energy/ qualities...
🙋👍🙋
6:41 cognitive distortion
you do not look like you have a grown son!
It s just for entertainment purposes 😂