Jerma is a Crack Addict - Jerma Drug Dealer Simulator Highlights

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  • Опубліковано 19 кві 2020
  • From Jerma985's streams - / jerma985
    "Fake Crack Stream" 04/19/2020
    THIS VIDEO WAS CLAIMED. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE ADS
    Contact Me -
    Twitter - jackclishem
    Instagram - jackclishem
    Email - jackclishem2503@gmail.com
    Discord - Jack Clishem#6561
    #Jerma #JermaHighlights #DrugDealerSimulator
  • Ігри

КОМЕНТАРІ • 342

  • @maggotthemadman8142
    @maggotthemadman8142 4 роки тому +1809

    I love the fact that there are people in his stream who are there just waiting for him to jump onto camera for a second, so they can photoshop him into a goblin.

    • @TheGreenTaco999
      @TheGreenTaco999 4 роки тому +149

      Photoshop?

    • @UnironicScrotumhat
      @UnironicScrotumhat 4 роки тому +294

      That's the new meta of the stream. Bait Jerma into revealing himself so he can be morphed into a wretched homunculus. I, for one, highly approve of it.

    • @frank144p4
      @frank144p4 3 роки тому +11

      Wretched?

    • @KonkeyDongkey
      @KonkeyDongkey 3 роки тому +30

      Metal Gear?

    • @KonkeyDongkey
      @KonkeyDongkey 3 роки тому +31

      Psycho Mantis?

  • @-Mopo
    @-Mopo 4 роки тому +2130

    this game is somehow simultaneously set in the US, Mexico and poland

    • @Klaymen47
      @Klaymen47 4 роки тому +91

      And soviet union

    • @Xenomnipotent
      @Xenomnipotent 4 роки тому +4

      Literally nothing here resembles Poland wtf

    • @guyattmcdudeflavore1804
      @guyattmcdudeflavore1804 4 роки тому +99

      @@Xenomnipotent There was like a polish character in some guys name but that's about it I guess

    • @thomasdomer6512
      @thomasdomer6512 4 роки тому +61

      the unholy trinity

    • @Veakabori
      @Veakabori 4 роки тому +71

      @@Xenomnipotent Some clients first and last names were polish

  • @MrDrCthulhu
    @MrDrCthulhu 4 роки тому +903

    I'm convinved that Jerma's childhood was actually a teen comedy movie and he thought it was totally normal.

    • @williamkline6450
      @williamkline6450 3 роки тому +11

      Is it not?

    • @bbbbbbb51
      @bbbbbbb51 3 роки тому +2

      It's called, "making up stories for entertainment."

    • @user-qf2rx8ir3n
      @user-qf2rx8ir3n 3 роки тому +41

      @Brandon Johnson that's just what he wants you to think

    • @michelleobama641
      @michelleobama641 2 роки тому +10

      i also did the whipped cream thing AND heard urban legends like that :^

    • @scrithen2836
      @scrithen2836 2 роки тому +14

      @@bbbbbbb51 but literally everyone does the whipped cream thing, EVERYONE DOES THAT

  • @BabyRetardFish
    @BabyRetardFish 4 роки тому +697

    "Don't call me lego hair" is such a small yet gigantic portion of this video

  • @notreal2900
    @notreal2900 4 роки тому +466

    1:53 “You guys don’t know anything about drugs? I’ve taken... (instant regret)”

  • @WhoodaHell
    @WhoodaHell 4 роки тому +252

    Local streamer nearly admits to taking drugs and teaches children watching how to do whippets, then gets repeatedly tazed by the police.

    • @xiaolin867
      @xiaolin867 2 роки тому +4

      Average day in the life of Jeremiah "Jerma985" Zerkoff

    • @kieranmaclean4395
      @kieranmaclean4395 10 місяців тому

      @@xiaolin867No chat, i’m not gonna name him “Bobby Jerkoff”

  • @oddluck4180
    @oddluck4180 4 роки тому +212

    Is nobody going to address that Jerma can perfectly replicate the sound of a whip cream can?

    • @thelmir3731
      @thelmir3731 3 роки тому +33

      He work as a whip cream in Wendy's when he is not streaming.

  • @Jhon47807
    @Jhon47807 4 роки тому +688

    Soon He will be making highlight videos of streams that haven't even happened yet.

    • @lulhighman3428
      @lulhighman3428 3 роки тому +13

      Jerma daily life highlights

    • @IWillSmurfYou
      @IWillSmurfYou 3 роки тому +14

      @@lulhighman3428 i cant wait for his zerkin off streams

  • @RockLegend2A
    @RockLegend2A 4 роки тому +90

    9:27
    "That's just what was something that was told. To me. Over, like, the decade or so that I've been alive. Whate--y'know, 20 of 'em. Whatever/however long it's been."
    Local streamer is over TWO HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

    • @gordonf5553
      @gordonf5553 3 роки тому

      @Mitchell Adams bro 200 years ago was like ww1 idiot

    • @Endiepup
      @Endiepup 3 роки тому +11

      @@gordonf5553 200 Years Ago Was When The Missouri Compromise Happened... WW1 Was About 100 Years Ago

    • @the-letter_s
      @the-letter_s 3 роки тому +6

      @@gordonf5553 what the fuck

    • @rusoruski3565
      @rusoruski3565 3 роки тому +8

      @@gordonf5553 how do you backfire that badly lol

    • @mellowmelly9258
      @mellowmelly9258 2 роки тому +1

      ancient andy

  • @slopbox
    @slopbox 4 роки тому +504

    7:38 Jerma explains how he made $20 in a mens restroom

  • @JackClishem
    @JackClishem  4 роки тому +667

    You know i heard Jerma snorts crushed up funko pops
    Just adding this here so people can see. There is a disgusting amount of ads on this video because it was claimed. In sorry that you have to deal with that

  • @hologramofwesleywillis5790
    @hologramofwesleywillis5790 4 роки тому +89

    8:11 "No Vietnamese ever called me lego hair" - Muhammad Ali

  • @gibusgamer93
    @gibusgamer93 4 роки тому +163

    3:27 How do you want to pronounce nuclear, Jerma?
    a. Nuke-lee-err
    b. Nuke-you-lerr
    *c. Nuke-lil-lerr*

    • @carlwheezerofsouls3273
      @carlwheezerofsouls3273 3 роки тому +1

      im too high for this, you got me thinking ive been saying nuclear wrong this whole time. its b, right????

    • @creaturefeaturegonnageetch5111
      @creaturefeaturegonnageetch5111 3 роки тому +8

      @@carlwheezerofsouls3273 Logically, its a. Nu-cle-ar makes nuclear.

    • @cgibabyhand
      @cgibabyhand 2 роки тому

      @@carlwheezerofsouls3273 the "correct" pronunciation varies from region to region in the U.S.

  • @Lactosecow
    @Lactosecow 4 роки тому +223

    19:30 such a long, mediocre joke that ends with a god damn amazing punchline I love jorma

  • @deablo8982
    @deablo8982 4 роки тому +790

    Dude, for real. I've said it before, and you've heard it before a million times, but that's just because it's true: the stuff you're putting out is of such great quality, and so fast, and everybody here appreciates it a fucking ton. I can actually see visible improvement from video to video too, so you're constantly getting better and not just stagnant in your (already very high) quality. With everything going on right now, and 2ndJerma being pretty backlogged, and my personal stuff of being super busy in my last year of school and in Australia (bad timezone for catching his streams when you've got stuff to do in the day because it starts early morning and ends lunchtime), your stuff is such a godsend and everybody here loves it. Keep up the great stuff, you're actively making a lot of people's days better.

    • @halolime117
      @halolime117 4 роки тому +7

      yea this dude is much beter than 2ndjerma

    • @oterro8225
      @oterro8225 4 роки тому +1

      @Oh Yes Yes I adore your honesty

    • @wayla683
      @wayla683 4 роки тому

      Yeah except there's 9 ads in this 35 minute video uploaded by someone who basically cut up another person's twitch content and served it up on UA-cam. Do the math, it's bullshit.

    • @deablo8982
      @deablo8982 4 роки тому +6

      @@wayla683 "Just adding this here so people can see. There is a disgusting amount of ads on this video because it was claimed. In sorry that you have to deal with that" From Jack's comment on this video. It's worth having a peek around before you get angry and point fingers man, it's barely even a scroll to find that.

    • @wayla683
      @wayla683 4 роки тому

      @@deablo8982 I'm not angry. Just pointing out a great reason not to watch some cut up compilations on UA-cam when you can very easily watch the stream on twitch with less ads and more content from the content creator you supposedly are a fan of. Hell, even most full streams on UA-cam have a better "ad-content ratio" than these compilations.

  • @danglerfish4175
    @danglerfish4175 4 роки тому +142

    9:31 Jerma reveals that he's actually over two hundred years old

    • @ChargeQM
      @ChargeQM 4 роки тому +42

      He is either 10 years old or 200. There is no in-between.

    • @Romanticoutlaw
      @Romanticoutlaw 4 роки тому +30

      don’t worry guys he’s shotacon sized but he’s actually an immortal demon who’s over two hundred years old

  • @debutsu613
    @debutsu613 2 роки тому +7

    The idea of a low level drug dealer trying desperately to push his homemade dry rub to his clients is fucking hilarious to me.

  • @IWillSmurfYou
    @IWillSmurfYou 3 роки тому +19

    5:26 local streamer openly discusses his crippling Whippet addiction

  • @JPCollector
    @JPCollector 4 роки тому +423

    chat is just zoomers and liars

    • @jakesommer3914
      @jakesommer3914 4 роки тому +64

      CHAT EXPOSED

    • @dopomaximus7083
      @dopomaximus7083 4 роки тому +98

      There really is no way chat hasn't sprayed whip cream into their mouth. Genuinely impossible.

    • @andersonjukebox8315
      @andersonjukebox8315 4 роки тому +29

      I hate whipped cream and I've even done that before lol

    • @cacao2cream369
      @cacao2cream369 4 роки тому +23

      Dopo Maximus I watched the vod and the way he originally said it sounded way more like he was doing whippets and it was very confusing

    • @rustyskunks
      @rustyskunks 4 роки тому +16

      No, im not a zoomer, here i'll prove it, Funny jerma short joke - Zoomer chat member.

  • @Mochachocakon
    @Mochachocakon 4 роки тому +27

    2006 Jerma: Hey, don't say... swears.
    2020 Jerma: *Explaining the details of different explicit drugs to chat.*

  • @Vanni008
    @Vanni008 3 роки тому +9

    0:32 when jerma tried to leave, he immediately goes for the window. absolute PSYCHO

  • @wazer2235
    @wazer2235 3 роки тому +27

    33:57 he bleeps everything except the swears

  • @connoremery9521
    @connoremery9521 2 роки тому +8

    HOW DID HE DO THAT WHIPPED CREAM SOUND THIS MAN IS OTHERWORLDLY

  • @SgerbwdGwyn
    @SgerbwdGwyn 4 роки тому +7

    "I put crack in their dry rub ribs"

  • @agentpaint
    @agentpaint 4 роки тому +149

    The speed of this lad

    • @JackClishem
      @JackClishem  4 роки тому +42

      Well I had to get it out for 04/20 . Its a global holiday

    • @janjastrzebski1897
      @janjastrzebski1897 4 роки тому +11

      @@JackClishem I theorize two methods for your speed, you either watch the stream and timestamp the moments that you then use in the compilation, or you somehow have a twitch chat filter for all the +2 and -2 moments, from which you then derive the highlights. Either way, your speed is impressive and dedication admirable.

    • @SkullyDummy
      @SkullyDummy 4 роки тому

      Absolute speed demon

  • @lixx1706
    @lixx1706 2 роки тому +4

    just getting into jerma, apparently up to 60 insect parts are allowed by the fda in chocolate such as hershyes.
    No clue as to what's considered a bug part but hey the more you know

  • @756secret
    @756secret 4 роки тому +85

    21:30 legendary drug mixing moment

    • @dean_l33
      @dean_l33 3 роки тому +2

      Whats the song he used?

    • @Hippycoolcrab
      @Hippycoolcrab 3 роки тому +2

      @@dean_l33 ua-cam.com/video/KoLOtsm_Jow/v-deo.html

    • @JamesonX
      @JamesonX 9 місяців тому

      @@dean_l33 little bit late but breakfast machine from peewees big adventure

    • @dean_l33
      @dean_l33 9 місяців тому

      @@JamesonX Thanks bro

  • @andremoreau8390
    @andremoreau8390 3 роки тому +14

    "I've taken... d-drug- classes!"

  • @simonkawasaki4229
    @simonkawasaki4229 4 роки тому +70

    Local streamer continues his trend of playing long excerpts from Danny Elfman soundtracks as a poor excuse for a joke

  • @breadtm1044
    @breadtm1044 4 роки тому +80

    I was about to sit down and watch the full stream on twitch and just as the ad was done I get a notification for this video. Thank you jack!

  • @kcuf1085
    @kcuf1085 2 роки тому +7

    his whipped cream can impression is amazing

  • @inutero
    @inutero 4 роки тому +75

    brooooo i'm so high on some new new baking soda mix mix right now hoooooly shiiiiit

    • @mr.s5165
      @mr.s5165 5 місяців тому

      How’s your heartburn

  • @apehawk
    @apehawk 3 роки тому +3

    "Backwards F"
    Has he never seen a scythe?

  • @stiddleficks4044
    @stiddleficks4044 4 роки тому +20

    "this is a real crack stream now."
    1:27 streamer admits he knows the average price of a G [ON STREAM]

  • @keyonhutson1539
    @keyonhutson1539 2 роки тому +9

    Imagine buying some meth and your dealer just comes up to you and goes "Alright alright I don't got no meth but here's a really shitty dry rub. That'll be seventy bucks."

  • @Borghesi08
    @Borghesi08 3 роки тому +29

    I've said it before, and i'll say it again. If Life only has ONE main character, it's definitely Jerma.

  • @kresendoe
    @kresendoe 4 роки тому +78

    dude tysm for the eating sound warning, doesnt affect me too badly but i have friends with bad misophonia and its nice to see a consideration like that

    • @JackClishem
      @JackClishem  4 роки тому +42

      I really hate it. My entire body wants to invert itself when I hear it

    • @clownvictim
      @clownvictim 4 роки тому +14

      @@JackClishem Yeah I was gonna comment on this too. U a real one Jack 👏

    • @douggaudiosi14
      @douggaudiosi14 2 роки тому

      Omg shut up

  • @limaromeo8745
    @limaromeo8745 3 роки тому +6

    His twitch chat seems like the type to not know that acid and lsd are the same thing because it has more than one name

  • @crumblyguy1834
    @crumblyguy1834 4 роки тому +6

    Jerma unknowingly describing how to do a whip it

  • @andremoreau8390
    @andremoreau8390 3 роки тому +10

    Jerma spends an hour trying to convince his viewers to huff out of a whip cream can.

  • @rudeboyspodcast
    @rudeboyspodcast 4 роки тому +23

    21:13 for my favorite bit

  • @woozwoo99
    @woozwoo99 4 роки тому +50

    Jerma peer pressures is audience into trying whip its

  • @jaems
    @jaems 4 роки тому +40

    5:59 Jerma985 years old confronts his zoomer audience

    • @gordonf5553
      @gordonf5553 3 роки тому +2

      Jerma 985 pounds bc of the whipped cream

  • @ganii1804
    @ganii1804 2 роки тому +1

    "i've taken, uh-"
    *backtracks*
    "drug classes"

  • @infamousgamer767
    @infamousgamer767 3 роки тому +6

    *"don't call me Lego hair"*

  • @antoka5375
    @antoka5375 3 роки тому +9

    14:00 Omg I cant be laughing this early in the morning-

  • @GOmegaPHD
    @GOmegaPHD 3 роки тому +2

    31:31
    S H A K E
    S A C K

  • @TheAwillz
    @TheAwillz 3 роки тому +4

    “I’ve taken...classes” 😂

  • @PsychoxGizmo
    @PsychoxGizmo 3 роки тому +5

    you are the best for putting an eating sound warning, omg!

  • @treefiddy8811
    @treefiddy8811 4 роки тому +3

    I recommend watching this whole VOD but this was a great edit :)

  • @TheMattyboy55555
    @TheMattyboy55555 4 роки тому +6

    Wow, incredible turnaround time. Thanks Jack!

  • @Milkman-bu9es
    @Milkman-bu9es 4 роки тому +3

    I was sitting here mocking how he put Wendy’s in the big 3 but I thought about it and in my town there is a McDonald’s, a gas station Wendy’s 500 feet away, and a Burger King across the street

  • @rullvard8245
    @rullvard8245 3 роки тому +4

    6:40 Wtf is that robot sound he made

  • @PhantoFantasma
    @PhantoFantasma Рік тому +1

    9:28 jerma claiming to have been alive for a decade, and then correcting that to 20 decades

  • @jordanmayberry4510
    @jordanmayberry4510 4 роки тому +1

    Putting out content 3x faster and far more timely than the official 2ndJerma channel, I love you.

  • @1942gman
    @1942gman 4 роки тому +4

    damn, dude, you're puttin these out real quick. keep up the good work

  • @cavauro
    @cavauro 4 роки тому +1

    i was about to watch the full thing but had to take a piss and when i came back this was already up

  • @Bewmbshakalaka
    @Bewmbshakalaka 3 роки тому +2

    that eating sound warning... thank you... thank you so much

  • @willowchair
    @willowchair 4 роки тому +1

    This stream was ridiculous and I loved it.

  • @Heimskiir
    @Heimskiir 4 роки тому +8

    i like how all the censor bleeps are late and dont actually censor anything

  • @mogfodan
    @mogfodan 4 роки тому

    very fast highlights thank you for your service bro

  • @kangzchan5253
    @kangzchan5253 4 роки тому +2

    i can only aspire to entertain myself this fucking much

  • @lainhttps6267
    @lainhttps6267 2 роки тому +1

    INSANE streamer teaches CHAT how to do WHIPITS LIVE

  • @THX-1138
    @THX-1138 2 роки тому +2

    im here because 2ndJerma is hiding the truth.

  • @colesolomon2065
    @colesolomon2065 4 роки тому +1

    Jack, I have no idea what we'ed do without your work, god bless your soul you magnificent son of a gun

  • @colpekker
    @colpekker 4 роки тому +8

    How is this even humanly possible to upload this quickly

  • @kgukkhkhukhukhuhuk9520
    @kgukkhkhukhukhuhuk9520 4 роки тому +11

    i have the say, the warning for eating sounds was nice. i appreciate that

  • @rasengdori13
    @rasengdori13 4 роки тому +9

    dude how even

  • @XxThrasherxX420
    @XxThrasherxX420 2 роки тому

    Lmfao, all the conversation about whipped cream, half these dudes thought he was talking about whip-its xD

  • @thebracc1835
    @thebracc1835 3 роки тому

    I thought I was watching a video from Jermas channel good shit man lol

  • @complex-emphasis8986
    @complex-emphasis8986 4 роки тому +1

    Jerma bought too much whipped cream and resorts to selling new baking soda mix

  • @JavanPatrickReigner
    @JavanPatrickReigner 3 роки тому +1

    that peewee herman bit was legendary

  • @chemical_leek
    @chemical_leek 3 роки тому +1

    "And then the aliens pulled up in the War of the Worlds."

  • @Drennis
    @Drennis 3 роки тому +1

    jerma was DEFINITELY on something during this stream

  • @vienna4516
    @vienna4516 4 роки тому

    man you should tottally be making this stuff for main channel, so goood

  • @kirbytrooper
    @kirbytrooper 4 роки тому +1

    jerma breaks tos emulating whipped cream into mouth

  • @novus3508
    @novus3508 3 роки тому

    I am convinced jermas room is a movie set

  • @antpaste
    @antpaste 4 роки тому +2

    8:12 lol ive called my little brother LEGO HAIR before

  • @firstnamelastname-oy7es
    @firstnamelastname-oy7es 4 роки тому

    3 bug legs in a hershy's bar sounds better than eating the almond bar, at least it wont feel like the bar is full of stones.

  • @evanhart9735
    @evanhart9735 4 роки тому +2

    The FDA regulation is 90 fragments per 100 grams of chocolate

  • @natthegnat4931
    @natthegnat4931 3 роки тому

    That whipped cream sound is so good

  • @borko8325
    @borko8325 2 роки тому +2

    9:30 JERMA IS 20 DECADES OLD

  • @thearchitect5405
    @thearchitect5405 4 роки тому +1

    It's actually not like 3 or 6 insect legs per Hershey bar, it's allowed up to around 30 insect pieces in a Hershey bar, goes for all other things, increases and decreases depending on the size, it's around 30 for the average Hershey bar.

  • @rayozmun8219
    @rayozmun8219 4 роки тому +3

    Damn dude your turn around on these streams are pretty insane

  • @ThatDudeWithBoobs
    @ThatDudeWithBoobs 3 роки тому

    His Schmee voice will never get old to me.

  • @thatguyknownaswill8180
    @thatguyknownaswill8180 Рік тому

    I can’t believe no one has done the whipped cream thing.

  • @falc0n12
    @falc0n12 4 роки тому +1

    shake shack shucks

  • @Guitar_Hero_1999
    @Guitar_Hero_1999 3 роки тому

    the bloodborne joke was such a pleasant surprise

  • @jaywalkersunite
    @jaywalkersunite 4 роки тому

    Jerma has trouble running from the cops because his legs are so short.

  • @blantisulatorblanston53
    @blantisulatorblanston53 4 роки тому

    good job thanks pa

  • @charliekill88
    @charliekill88 3 роки тому +3

    Jerma spitting facts shake shack is only good for the shakes and even then they only have 2 fucking flavors? Like what the fuck? The name of your restaurant is shake shack and you only have 2 fucking flavors?

  • @Whatsuppbuddies
    @Whatsuppbuddies 4 роки тому +2

    Jerma is very funny.

  • @Masked_SVincent
    @Masked_SVincent Рік тому

    It’s okay jerma I did whipped cream and whippets too

  • @Shadowfable1
    @Shadowfable1 3 роки тому +1

    13:02 god damn they sacked my boy like some linebackers

  • @Irishfrasa
    @Irishfrasa 4 роки тому +1

    Local streamer violates quarantine to sell drugs, gets tased multiple times.

  • @meltedmarshmallows3845
    @meltedmarshmallows3845 4 роки тому +2

    Alright, hear me out. 5 buildings, right next to each other. Each building is called 1 guy. Each restaurant serves a different type of food. Mexican, Indian, Asian, etc.

  • @ALEXGAYMAR2312
    @ALEXGAYMAR2312 3 роки тому

    local streamer starts fiending and having withdrawals ON STREAM

  • @francesboy2
    @francesboy2 3 роки тому

    The powerpuff girls bit had me crying

  • @richardconey6458
    @richardconey6458 4 роки тому +1

    Fucking Jerma doing a whip it lol

  • @AbefromanGW
    @AbefromanGW 4 роки тому +1

    i do the whipped cream thing