Are You A Secret Racist?
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- Опубліковано 20 кві 2021
- On The Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle and Ethan list all the ways you’ve been racist without even knowing it in hopes you will educate yourself and do better.
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Racist: You're White so you've never been judged by the color of your skin.
Me: Just was.
Say it louder for the racists in the back🙌
Well, white and a South African... We experience racism towrd us a lot. But generally we as a nation just love each other, except we all hate our only power company. Loadshedding sucks man!
Exactly I’ve been called racist or assumed I was just being white or disagreeing
Who says other races can't be racist? That is no excuse for them to curse our name and hold a permanent grudge on the rest of us I'm actually proud of being white. I'm also proud of having friends of color! I'm not one bit ashamed of who I am! ...mostly, and I'm not ashamed others except for their hurtful actions!
Races are like colors on a blank canvas and we're beautiful when we come together!
I judge people not by the content of their skin, but by the color of their character.
Sounds pretty secret racist to me.
Sounds like something a racist would say.
I am albino and am characterless. So am I secretly racist?
🤣😄🤣
Like Super-Straight, you are Super Racist
My own daughter told me I should be ashamed of being white. I lost my mind, and I put her in her place. She didn't learn that from me, she learned it from U Mass Dartmouth. My reward for sending her to a "good " college as a fine arts major. I want my money back.
She was judging you based on the color of your skin, that makes her racist.
That's sadly all too common these days. Kids are actually better off now just reading old books and learning a trade.
If I ever have kids, I'm educating them at home, making sure they can't become victims of indoctrination, can't be taught to hate themselves.
@@alfredvickers4054 The trouble with that is that it goes on the resume, with the left controlling everything institutionally and corporate, home schooling is quickly going to be considered "problematic" by HR departments.
The other problem is that we will drift away from the mainstream and simply become fewer and fewer people against the system without knowing how it is evolving.
Really, we need to educate our kids _alongside_ mainstream education, get them ready for the hypocrisy, get them understanding claims that have no evidence to substantiate so that they can subvert within the system.
If you think I am mad, look at the radical left, this is _exactly_ what they did to wrestle power away from ordinary folks (the vast majority of left-centre-right people whom overlap on many policies) and annex the American presidency.
There’s your problem: Fine Arts Major. Either let her get something profitable from her degree, or let her volunteer for a charity group that actually benefits a local community. Alternatively, she may benefit from settling down and becoming a stay at home mom. But going into the ultra-liberal minefield of art majors is the worst place to go.
You're Hitler
No I'm not
Sounds like something Hitler would say.
@Brian Boru ha
@Brian Boru I'm using that for sure.
Bahahahaha nice knee jerk laughter
"You seem to know him a lot better than I do" might be my next reply.
@@cairsahrstjoseph996 that's pretty good
So glad to find out my open racism makes me less racist.
"We are fake news' was the best line i've heard all week. Thank you Babylon Bee! :D
fake news you can trust
Who would have thunk it......... all this time I thought I was just tired, hungry or just minding my own business but apparently that’s racism. Uh
My Asian colleague claimed he could spot a racist, because they were "more polite"! Yup, the ones who didn't insult him, the ones who treated him with respect, THEY were the ones who were out to get him! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
It's all just ideological subversion for the CCP. Weaken us any way that they can. That's their mission and it's working.
@@cipher88101 it’s fucking scary how well it’s working. They’ve been implementing it for years and they’ve almost reached the end game.
Me being a racist is so secret, I don't know the secret.. 🤣
Right! Apparently, I’ve been keeping that secret from myself for decades! 😳
That's hella racist.
Liar
In all seriousness, every racist I've ever known has openly declared themselves to be racist. Being a secret racist is like being a secret vegan. That doesn't exist.
But also because the Vegan police will take away any secret Vegans. If they’re Vegan, they’re required by Vegan law to tell you. :^)
That just isn't true. Most racists kind of hide it then they let it slip. Racism against white people or Jews seems to be entirely accepted by many today.
I have met only one real racist in my 58 years. My first landlord, a simple elderly guy who knows what crap he had lived to become so ignorant... He had very offensive thoughts about who might be living in his neighborhood but did his beliefs harm anyone, really? Just a very sad individual
I'm kinda old, 69, and I've only met a handful of racists in my entire life. At least two of them were old relatives. Had a girlfriend once that was openly self-righteously condemning the entire U.S. as racist which is ridiculous. Then I found out later she was racist against a certain group. I almost died laughing. She's one of those ultra-libs that really had no common sense. But she was the only one that didn't broadcast her bias. All the others were just like you said. They didn't hide it at all. Not in the least. That's been my personal experience.
@@aintgonnahappen yes I haven’t seen Jewish heritage month or the coalition against anti-Semitic violence.
If you're not part of The Cult, you are whatever they say you are. Disagreeing (if you dare) just proves to them they're right in their initial assessment.
Exactly
My experience as a guest student in Germany. At a casual chitchat with a small group of friends in a club, I casually asked why do all music radios almost always have English and other foreign music, and I can only very rarely hear German music, and I've never heard traditional German folk music anywhere. The answer was: because Nazis liked it and promoted it, so we should not listen to it. I asked, completely naively, that if the Nazis liked bread should we close all bakeries? All of them were shocked, and they told me that I should not say this because it's offensive. And later some of them came to me in private and told me I was right. This really shocked me: all of this happened in small a group of friends. Not in front of the police, not in front of the press, not in front of professors. And they were still AFRAID of telling each other what they thought.
That's the most interesting and inciteful comment on this page. I never knew any of that. Thanks. Very sad of course.
Sadly the modern Germans are afraid of their own shadows. A ancient culture lost on them.
Sounds like the thought police Nazis are still in power
Oof. German folk music is so nice to hear! How is listening to it now promoting that ideology?
If you are afraid to say what you think; then it seems hitlers alive and well in the minds of germans.
Here in new zealand our news creates racism on purpose by saying our natiin is devided against the "maoris"(natives to taiwan!).
They came here on boats(migrants then; not natives!) Dummie!
But its convenient for our government because it silences the population by saying that anything you say is racist. Unless the government says its ok.
Its easier to say nothing than offend everyone(who to be honest isnt offended anyway) but pretends to be
We’ve got a lot in common.
What do we have in common?
We both clean floors for a living, we’re both swell lookers, and neither one of us is Chinese.
Johnny Dangerously
That’s racist
I once made the mistake of asking a hard core progressive exactly how she defines racism when she disagreed with my definition of someone who thinks people of one skin color are superior. Insisting that was incorrect and that racism was entirely about white people she furiously told me to "Do The Work!"
Wow
My first thought when reading your comment was “This sounds like someone who isn’t ‘doing the work’” and I think it’s appalling that you aren’t willing to devote a huge portion of your life learning that no matter what you do, no matter how much “work” you “do,” there is nothing you can do to not be racist. Not only that, but if you “do the work” you’re in danger of thinking you are better than other white racists who haven’t, which actually makes you worse. WHY AREN’T YOU DEVOTING YOUR LIFE TO DOING SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU A WORSE RACIST? YOU’RE MAKING NO SENSE, DAMMIT!
? ? ? ? ?
Remember that TV show called "In Search Of" where Leonard Nimoy would go off looking for aliens, bigfoot etc., and never finding anything? You need to do a reboot of that series where you go searching for racism, homophobia, white supremacy etc. My guess is that the results would be the same.
That idea has legs. I'd watch it.
You might not find white people who are racist, but I'm sure you'll find a lot of black people who are racist against white people... LoL
There, I'm racist, boy I feel so much better, thank you guys for helping me through this.😈
How do you guys keep a straight face?? I’m dying😂😂😂😂💀 I love the Bee so much♥️
The guys in the background laughing gets me so much.
It's funny that vanilla ice cream is made from the blood of black vanilla beans
So eating vanilla ice creams really isn't racist!🍦😂
It's my understanding that I was "Born This Way." I could be wrong though, I didn't take the college course.
Now that I’m older, I can no longer swim very fast. So, I’m no longer a racist.
jokes on you, I'm secretly 6 feet under, footless, mute, can't eat ice cream, am bad at math. I'm also incapable of smiling, I also happen to have a BLACK Pen. I technically don't exist, as only two of these apply.
If you're 6 feet under, you must have voted Democrat.
@@MaskHysteria I'm not even an American (unfortunately) I live in the authoritarian country of Canada.
If you paid income taxes, you exist
For my physical safety i judge people by thier behavior.
I'm not clicking on a BB video every again... I always end up spending too much time laughing and forget what I came on the computer to do in the first place!!
I judge everyone regardless of their skin color.
We all do. It's natural and technically a survival instinct. Most people wont admit to it. But that's the way our brains are built, evolved, whatever.
Judging is not always a bad thing.
The man cackling in the bg should get some screen time too
Damn I didn't know this about myself
That's racist.
@@Saint_nobody ikr
I agree with the vanilla ice cream bit. I worked at Baskin Robbins in the late 70's and never understood, with 30 OTHER different flavors available people would choose vanilla. Here I am, 40 plus years later learning they were all racists.
Us experienced Americans (over 25) are SO lucky to really smart ( let's call them newly re-educated ) young americans to tell us what real racism is. Of course freedom of speech is not necessary if we KNOW what the truth is already. Just ask Lester Holt--balanced coverage by telling both sides of an issue is not necessary if we KNOW what the right side is! It's all so simple now that people with that kind of wisdom can explain everything to me! Wow! I'm really stupid! Thanks!
4:03 I’m a black woman and this made me raise my shoulders and stretch my face. I was embarrassed.😳😵💫 I would never and couldn’t see how he did that to pander sooooo hard.
About breathing. I confess last summer I forgot not to breath one day! As a result I got Covid-19 (seriously I had it!)!
So in order not be racist and to avoid getting Covid-19 we must quit breathing!
Spoiler: yes.
I never knew until recently, thanks wokeness!
Yes. If you haven’t hired someone when you could have, if you’ve said something unkind, if you judged someone that you haven’t previously known.....
Secretly, I knew 2+2=4.. but I’d never tell anyone I knew that. Thank you BB, I now know how I was racist and how I can check my privilege before saying equals .. now I’ll say 5 or something else.
1984 isn't an instruction manual Let's make George Orwell fiction again!
That 2 + 2=4 making us racists reminds me of the character of Jethro Bodine on THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. I never forgot how he came up with 2 gozuza 2 =5! We are going to have to be taught math by Jethro Bodine in order to avoid being a racist!
"Gozuza?" "Gozuza?" Ok. Now I place it. Maybe it should be "Gozintah?"
Now I picture the laughing guy's face when he laughs... I don't think he counts as a laugh track anymore, because tracks don't have faces.
SJWs are gonna get crazy by this 😂😂😂
See, I wear my Purple Rain t-shirt, not because I love Prince, but because I'm not racist.
Is it purple? Purple is a nice color! Oops... Sorry, I was being racist.
I have a purple Prince shirt, too. But not because I love Prince. ;-)
" _You have to check yourself.._ ". You mean I gotta feel for lumps..?
Anyone else notice that on the thumbnail, the sign held by a protestor misspelled violence. They wrote “silence=violene”.
The party says 2+2=5. You don't have the freedom to say otherwise 😡
Calling someone a 'racist' is like saying 'Hello' in CURRENT YEAR.
All these people do is complain. No matter what answer you give them, even dead silence, they'll simply go "SEE SEE THEY'RE RACIST I WIN THE ARGUEMENT BECAUSE I SAID SO JUST LIKE THE NEWS SAID"
just remember, what the Bee satirizes this year will be on "the news" in about 5 years, sometimes less.
Twitter: You're racist, that's racist, everybody's racist but me.
All I did was put N in the chat your honor. I couldnt of known what the others would spell out.
Everybody judges people for all kinds of things all the time. I wish we could just accept this about ourselves and others and GROW UP ALREADY 🤪
2:59 don't call me out like this
Sign 1, check.
Sign 2, check.
Sign 3, hasn't come up as far as I can remember... and I don't know how I'll respond if someone randomly accuses me. (If anyone wants to test this by responding with an accusation, it probably won't work because I probably wont even respond to comments here.)
Sign 4, check.
Sign 5, check... but I also like chocolate, strawberry, and a few other flavors that I can't recall off the top of my head.
Sign 6, check.
Sign 7, check... and was actually going to be the proof I used to admit that I've been racist for years if I didn't instead decide to go sign-by-sign to see if I'm a secret racist.
Sign 8, nope... but only because I'm not really the smiling type. Probably comes with the territory of being an introvert. Could also be a product of being a life form with a form of high-functioning autism. Could even be a direct result of the past half year, more or less.
Sign 9, check. Especially in UA-cam comments. Primarily because I don't know how to underline or italicize in these comment sections.
Sign 10, check. In the words of Philip J. Fry, it's "basically all I do".
I breathe under my breath
Totally knew the answer to the first question!
Score!
I am racist because I evaluate people based on my interactions with the individuals. I might have observations of cultural groups-as does EVERY POC comedian.
Want to engage in this thought experiment? White cultural observations are not nearly as neatly defined because so much depends on region AND ethnic stasis in individual families.
My mom’s family was “off the boat German”, arriving here in the mid 19th century. My dad’s family has lineage in America going back to colonial days. Not good lineage, mind you, just yep “came here, did stuff” (ie: mostly had babies).
I don’t actually have an ethical framework which includes a default assumption about ANY race.
The incredible thing is that im overtly against Abrahamic religions, but The Bee is so genius i can't help but love it.
Lol I love vanilla ice cream 🍦🤷🏾♂️
Signs that you are a bigot, racist, and xenophobe.
(1) Does darkness make you more careful of your surroundings than daylight?
(2) Do you judge all people by the same standards?
(3) Do you like the color 🍊 orange? if you've answered yes to any of these questions
don't feel bad you're normal.
And your brain frontal lobe works.
I like to eat oranges, but as a color I would wear...pass
@@EverlastingHobnocker unless you work for Cal trans.😅
According to the critical theorist
I'm blind. I judge people individually. Am I still a racist? I think so.
Yes! You can only see blackness.
Uh sorry... I hope you understand my humor there. I'm not sure how I'd do if I was blind. ❤
"keep on keeping on" like my severely mentally ill grandmother always says. Ah ha now I'm catching my own feelings lol
My long dead neighbor's great-grandpa who voted for Biden doesn't breath, and I believe his feet are gone now, so I think he is not a racist... right?
Thanks for the PSA!!! 😂😂😂
"the word 'white' must be written in comic-sans" 🤣
That WAS funny in my book... :P
This is amazing!
I am not a racist. I like black coffee and red beans.. I also eat cauliflower
I'm racist, so what, every human is racist, including POC. What really matters is I'm less racist than other people. Quantify matters. This is Quantitative science.
Do you guys ever feel like you're punching down?
Punching down? Hopefully you don't believe colored people are inferior to white people?
How does Kyle keep a straight face? 😂🤣
4:51 - oh hell, i didn't realise just being nice to people around me made me a racist.... far out i need to take a long hard look at myself.
I've seen too many racist statues being torn down to let those who don't breathe off the hook.
Vanilla goes with anything, chocolate not so much.
Very true. Soda floats with chocolate ice cream don't work.
**hangs head in shame**
**looks up**
Is Communist a race?
i wasnt even thinking about that stuff til you said it
You guys should write a song replacing the word woman with racist on the song I am woman hear me roar 😂
Correctly guessing Hitler when you first mentioned the humanitarian must mean that I am a racist.
I greet my black neighbor just to simply be neighborly.
Vanilla comes from the vanilla nut, when my black American friend found this out he had a new appreciation for it, i said try French vanilla, they put eggs in it, its delicious!
Life is a Month Python movie, now
true story, my best friend was a black American, (sadly he passed away) and he came to me once and told me he was schocked that vanilla ice cream actually was made from the vanilla bean, he thought it was some made up thing to offset chocolate.
Thanks 🐝!!
Whew, I scored 100%! I'm going to roll up into the fetal position now and hate myself for a week. And then tell everyone I did that, to show how good I am (but while admitting I'm still a total secret racist).
Ben & Jerry’s vanilla is as good as it gets
You forgot about another tell tale sign of secret racism: drinking milk.
I love love love vanilla ice cream solo
Spot on! the problem.. the people who push this are dead serious
The ending lol
Secret RAAAAA-CIST MAN
He treats black folks like normal, in any waaay he can!
Well sugar snaps, you got me on that vanilla ice cream 🍨!
I admit that I am racist, I know because I’m white that I am racist. I will always be racist and there’s nothing I can do about it it’s just part of being white. I would like to confess that I am white.
I'm a deeply closeted racist, " so you're a racist then"? No! I'm not racist. I'm a deeply closeted racist. " so you're secretly racist "? Hell no! Im no racist!
I know they are joking but....yes, I know lots of people that don't know they are racist, it's a real thing. When I went to couples counseling, the counselor in less the 5 min got to the conclusion that I wanted divorce because is part of Mexican culture to divorce, I'm not even Mexican, I'm from Brazil. I could feel in his voice a bit of hatred, but I also think he don't see himself as racist once he sees himself as a loving Christian. Another example: if a white person is sick people is all “oh this person needs help, they are sick” but if I'm sick and I need help I'm called entitled and lazy.
People also assumes I'm democrat just because I'm an immigrant. Please, stop assuming that just because I know there's some racist out there I believe every white person is evil, I don't, I'm married with a white guy. Just because I agree with a few(very few) policies from the left doesn't mean I want hand outs from the government. Just because I'm an immigrant doesn't mean I don't know money printing causes inflation, and taxing the rich just makes things worse.
Let's be honest, we all have assumptions about other people based in inaccurate information, but some people get it more often.
That sounds like a lot of anecdotal horseshit you pulled out of your ass.
I am actually openly racist.
How a thinking human can not acknowledge that not all races are the same is beyond me. Some are superior, some are inferior - fact!
ughhhhh. The laughing is so hard, and so undeserved.
Gonna start holding my breath starting now, cause I'm not racist
If you ever met a real Ku Khulna Klanner you would walk away asking how they dress themselves in the morning.
I'm from the south I have met a few and they are really a weird bunch.
Mostly loud and mostly ignored.
Vanilla ice cream, not without chocolate syrup.
I don't get the vanilla hate, personally. Vanilla is a great flavour!
Simmering like a crockpot? What a crock!
I was eating vanilla icecream while watching this 😂
How can vanilla ice-cream be racist.. oh right it dissolves the black bean of vanilla into the white cream which over-powers it and removes it's black identity.
The most non-racist thing you can say is "You're racist"
Watch the video and see the GK Chesterton poster in the background. The channel has just gained a Long Bow Club of credibility in my book;).
Why be a secret racist when you can be an open racist.
I apparently am racist then. Do I have to actually be mean to someone or do I just deny them my leftover Christmas dessert?
im not a secret racist. im just racist
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