As a straight middle aged guy, I can tell you that the lack of meaningful emotional interaction is unfortunately pretty normal. Guys don't like to talk about how they feel, and it really sucks when you want to talk to someone but you can't. I can talk to my wife of course, but there are some things we experience as guys that really only another guy can relate to. I don't like the societal pressure that you are supposed to keep your emotions to yourself but it's definitely there and it's a powerful force. Thanks for the video and for taking the time to share your thoughts!
There is an easy solution to that. You have to be the one to share something emotional first. I'm pretty sure you can share that kind of stuff with your wife because she started it.
@@strbor2506 that stigma of ment being sentimental is what we used to call "gender" as in the social expectations of behaviour ascribed on the basis of sex.
Not to discredit your point at all, I just wanted to point out something: You mentioned that you started transitioning as a child and noticed people around you to listen more and take you more seriously. I am cis guy and Ive experienced something similar around age 14 or so. It might just be about older people realising you are getting closer to adulthood, so they can expect more from you. I remember when my mother first started talking to me about important things at that age, using a normal tone and having a proper conversation, I realised she probably thinks Im finally mature enough to have those conversations, when in reality I felt like I was ready like 2 years earlier.
As a cisdude, this helps put to words my general displeasure with the rigidity of how gender roles are internalized (lots of therapy has proven the ease with which these things can catch/cling to the psyche). A good portion of many people's adult lives are spent coming to terms with that. So thanks for the words, my dude.
If women dated men that looked like this "man" then I would imagine gendered the expectations would change. Men adapt. Men want families, love, acceptance. We respond to what get us women.
Doctors, therapist, psychiatrist, nurses and psychologist: Lies, and lies, they are sharing you their lies. And you believe them daily, as you go and ruin your own lives. Lies, oh lies, they know not how to care. They know not how to love, what its to have a heart warmly beating in your chest. They have lost their mind, they have gone mad and they drag you with them into the outer darkness of insanity. Seek ye GOD and get your mind back, get back your life and your will to live, escape the madness. Your are not trans or any other lie, which you daily believe. You are FOOLS, who are deceived daily. You reject the BIBLE - the only source of truth, thats why lies you buy and suffer thereafter.
This was really interesting. It’s crazy *how much* gender rolls actually affect people. On the surface it might be seen as completely harmless but can actually have deeper affects like this
It's interesting you didn't notice how less close you get with people until much later. I transitioned mid-twenties and it was one of the first things that I blatantly noticed. It's much more lonely on the other side.
I talk about my feelings all the time with my brothers we don't really care about what guys are meant to talk about or not meant to talk about. It's possible your guy friends don't relate to you in the same way they used to for any number of reasons, I don't think it's because they're male.
when you said that you can't/find it hard to be emotional with other boys all I could think was "Why?" because in my mind it just isnt something that you do.
Every mother is a woman so they deserve respect.Also a man is a man,regardless cis or trans.I hate it when people say that trans men are weaker than cis men and stuff.
I feel you, I'm kind of in the liminal space, where I identify nonbinary transfemme, but for safety and brevity I present more masc (I'm amab.) and It hard to remind people I'm trans/ nonbinary (making the distinction for benefit of the reader). My best friend forgets that im nonbinary a lot and still talks to me like I'm one of the guys, and It's kind of irritating. The gender roles in which we inhabit seemingly pertain directly to how well we as trans, enby, and GNC folk, Pass. And as passing is something that not everyone can do, myself included, I find it a weird place trans people have found themselves in, with the cis narrative being the narrative we listen to in today's day and age. Only time and progress will help eliminate gender barriers. As a transfemme person, I walk around with a skirt on sometimes and get nothing but stares because of my bodies masculine build. I've finally gotten to the point where I can identify my body as a woman's body and as a nonbinary body, but that's not the way The cis collective or greater society for that matter perceives me. Thus is think it's important for trans guys, trans gals, and everyone inside or outside of that binary to express their thoughts just as you had in this video.
I went to a bachelor party once. I can't say the stripper wasn't attractive; but it was disgusting. The things guys do, because it's expectations engrained in them, can be disturbing.
Wow Connor that was a really refreshing thought on how engraved gender roles are. I think i've always had an inkling inside of me which is one of the reasons why I'm still so unsure about coming out as transman. Even though you're speaking from the perspective of how Cis men treat you differently, I'm more worried about how my cisfemale friends would treat me after i come out. Having gone to an all-girls school I think there's a huge part of me that's worried how they'd treat me differently and the different standards they might impose on me if i were to come out as transman. How about you? Do cis females treat you any differently now? would love to hear your thoughts!
That's a great question! I think I can say quite honestly that my friendships with women and femme-identifying people haven't really changed all that much. There's been a bit of me adjusting to checking the privilege I know hold as a male-identifying person. And I would say after a while it felt odd to be on the other side of a "girls night." Sometimes my friends will forget that even though I haven't had my period in years I can still relate more than most men haha! But I've experienced far fewer changes with the women in my life. Of course, that's just me! Either way, as far as your friendships go, I would say to be patient if you do feel a shift or change. They're your friends, they love you, and though there may be some adjusting at first they'll hopefully understand that at the end of the day you're still the same person.
CherryPork there is no such thing as gender roles. This is a girl, she thinks like a girl and talks like a girl, listen to the video, it’s a girl pretending to be a man.
There was this girl in my old unit that decided to transition and did so out of pocket, she (because she was a she at the time) can afford it because of her line of civilian work while in the National Guard. The impressive part was, unlike most females who could not keep up with the males at all, she wanted to be exactly like a male so she asked to be graded by the male PT standard and passed it. Not by a lot or anything but she passed it which is pretty awesome. Told me that it took him so much hard work to get up to the male PT since men do have a natural advantage over women. It pushed me to max out the PT test because if he could raise his standards than I could it was awesome. Obviously I had a lot of questions while going through this transition. Anytime you have somebody doing something different than what you are used to, it is only natural to ask and be simultaneously curious and intrigued. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, I don't think that she was/ is better than me for becoming a he nor do I think I'm better than him for being born a biological male in the first place. But it was cool being able to talk and even help someone who was going through a hard time in their life because of this transition and questioning their reality alongside how they were feeling. Seeing this all firsthand and up close while getting involved is the best thing you can do to help others. Sorry for rambling a bit, but I don't know what he is up to now. I know he said he wanted to get out of the military after his six years was up and I'm sure he did. I think it is wonderful that Society is very understanding as long as you do not write them off. I'm not going to say the exact unit, but this was in Indiana. Being military and in Indiana The Stereotype would be that they would hate gay or trans people but that is not the case. What helps is talking to each other and letting people speak their point of view while being respectful about it. I'm going to send him a message today and find him on Facebook, I'll let you know what he is up to everyone when I hear back from him.
Look, I think your behavior around cis men might not be so much about societal gender roles but instead might be caused by an inherit introverted personality or heightened anxiety due in part by the transitions in your life or genetics in nature. This would explain issues socializing with other men or expressing emotional behavior.
men suffer in silence, indeed, and often. yet... as men need something so deep, i don't think this is another thing to be placed upon suffering men, why don't women not just actively engage in conversation with guy friends, but actually go out of the way to be there incase they do feel like they can lean on you.
Society puts different expectations on men. You will now be judged more by your status and financial standing. You may find that both men and women have these expectations of you. As a result, you get listened to more when you talk about ideas and plans, but you get listened to less when you talk about your feelings. Most of us don't feel the need to relate feelings as much as women do, but we show feelings in other ways through our actions , humor and comradery more than our words. It seems that you are still used to female ways of communicating. It's a trade off.
As a man that I believe you already are I would say, don’t expect emotional intimacy with other guys. You get it from your girlfriend or women. They are very loving and caring and full of emotions which will help you a lot. They’re easy to talk to and very loving. If you want other guys to be like that you are placing a huge burden on your friends. Like you said, you are experiencing a lack of emotions and a lack of intimacy. You’ve been a man for 10 years how about the ones that that’s all they’ve ever known? Use your manhood to understand them now and don’t crave so much of that intimacy. The intimacy you get from getting a smile or hug maybe once a month and giving one too obviously. And the rest like I said you can get from your girlfriend.
Nooooo that's such an unhealthy way of viewing friendships and relationships! It is not a significant other's responsibility to be the sole source of intimacy for their partner! That can put a huge strain on a relationship and honestly is an impossible task. And just because men aren't socialized to be open and intimate with others doesn't mean we shouldn't challenge that assumption. Learning to connect and express emotions in a healthy way is something that can and should be taught! I'm genuinely curious what makes you think it's so impossible to do?
@@ConnorOKeefe I'm a little late to the conversation but because most men generally prefer it this way. We bond through activity, not through talking about emotions. There are some that would like more intimacy, and some that really would benefit from it as they now receive almost none, if any. But most don't like to talk about their feelings. Just knowing there's someone you can trust, if need be, is enough most of the time, no talking required (though getting to that level of trust with someone is pretty difficult, which is why those who do have that person its at most just 1 best friend and/or their partner). If emotions get overwhelming, and you have someone in your inner most circles, THEN a guy will talk about their feelings, though mileage may vary. In other cases getting emotional will only work to a guy's detriment, so we avoid it. A personal experience: I have two best friends, and I know they have my back no matter what and vice versa. We'll go months with no contact and when we meet we mostly catch up on recent events over dinner, in one such case a loved one had recently died. They expressed their sympathy. After some drinks I expressed my sadness, three sentences total, they patted me on the shoulder; then we shortly switched back to jokes and stories. Had they prodded I probably would've said more, but I'm glad they didn't. As it is, I think I said too much. Not because "men don't cry" or whatever but because I didn't need to say so much. I didn't need to talk to them about it, just to know they were for me, which they were. I hope that answers your curiosity a bit.
I don't think you fit in all that well among dudes. The reason why theres "rude talk" is that you're not really supposed to get offended much as a man, as a result lot of jokes can be dirty. If you do and constantly say some joke is wrong, others will start to shut you out and think you're a bit of a wuss or gay at best, or realize you're a woman at worst. On the flipside a dude who constantly berates women comes off as insecure, something you can retort to with a joking jab of your own. In general an ideal man is not expected to be obsessed about any topic for too long if it isn't their hobbies or similar passions or work. And getting upset is the fastest way to show your insecurity about the issue. A person who constantly gets upset about what he says is the last person a man will share his feelings to, nobody likes to walk on egg shells. If you want a man to open to you, you need to have a calm environment (sauna, bonfire with booze etc.). If he shares his soul to you and your first response is critisizing what he said, you just betrayed his trust and solidified his belief that he shouldn't open to anyone. Men opening to each other to begin with is incredibly rare, usually only among close friends and only in very specific situations. Despite spending time with your male close friend every day, you're lucky to get him to open up 1-3 times a year. You're not going to be able to change this behaviour by insinuating that men should be less like men.
So you can tell that men and women think and process emotions differently, but you are shocked at gender roles. We treat people different because people think and feel different, and we do this with gender, age, race, nationality etc, even weight. If you are a white man, you can't go around asking your black friends to help you pick cotton at your farm. That's not racist, but it might be perceived as such.
The way men interact with men. Is how men interact with people they don’t want to have sex with. It’s a low risk low reward relationship. Men shouldn’t be emotional as a trans man. You shouldn’t try to change male spaces or how we think. Things are like this for a good reason. Society would crumble if men were more emotional.
@@9395gb I’m actually okay with that rage and anger could translate to masculine actions. Like defending your family or making more money because the love of your life said you’ll never be good enough for love. Because you couldn’t afford to pay for her dream lifestyle.
How is it a Gross scenerio when cis guys talk the way they do, as a trans man I have learned that it's OK it's part of being a guy. You only think it's Gross because you're still stuck in the female mind set, didn't you transition to become a guy you have to realize that men and women are not the same mentally and as a trans man I have accepted that it's something not worth complaining about!
Cis just means you identify with your birth sex. It’s not offensive, it’s a literal scientific term. Would you rather be called trans? Like I genuinely do not understand the cis people that make this an issue. The majority of people don’t care about the usage of the term cis
@@Reneeheartlovewith the greatest respect, I don't tell you what to find offensive or not. The term 'cis' didn't even exist before 2020. I work in medical science and it's never be used as a scienfitic word either. There are two sexes, male and female. It's strange how certain tiny part of the population get very upset when others use the wrong pronouns, however, when the vast major of the population ask others to respect their disgust and offence at the term 'cis' they don't offer the same respect. Make that make sense
@MoorlanderEDC the term cisgender dates back as early as the 1990’s. You can even check Merriam-Webster, as this is where I got this information from. You act like this is a slur. Grow up. Check your privilege. This should be common knowledge to you if you worked in the medical field you say you worked in.
@@Reneeheartlove there we go. It's like talking to a child. That privilege line is such an NPC comment that copied and pasted. Let's check some other words that people find offensive. The N word. Some people use it all day every day, however many people still find it offensive. Should the latter check their privilege? How about queer? My gay dad is of a generation that queer is a slur. He finds the term offensive. Should he check his gay privilege. I can also check your a child with you lack of knowledge of science and medicine. All of my doctor and faculty colleagues use medical terms... Male and female. Luckily you'll grow up and realise that your young and fashionable ideology is purely that
@MoorlanderEDC just going to skip the fact I listed that goes against what you said previously? That I provided rebuttal to your claim that the term cisgender didn’t exist “until 2020”? You’re ignorant. I’m done arguing with you
All the things you're talking about are Normal Guy Things...we're NOT close. We might be buddies, we fist-bump or high-five, we talk about the ball game or some awesome play or bad referee call, and then we go about our way. We mostly Do Not make a 'new friend' in the restroom. Most of our feelings are bottled up inside and WE deal with it, because they are Ours. We are expected to Help Others...Lift that heavy box, take out the trash, and we regret, at times, when No One says Thanks...Try opening a Door, out in public for strangers...For guys, that is just the 'polite-thing-we're-supposed-to-do...MOST of the time, there is no 'thank you'. That is a small example of EVERYTHING that guys accept in their daily life. Male Suicide is Far Higher, just as Transitioners is, because it is just an aspect of Male Life that can't be taught or 'they' can't accurately warn you about...Life as a Man, is DIFFERENT, but never think, that it is easy.
If you were actually a male you would understand I actually know someone who Transitioned from female to male originally thought she/he was a lesbian and she/he had the same thought patterns as men do and you would have called many things she ( lesbian) said sexist if a man said it
Ew, there's is so much transphobia in this coment section by wannabe sigma males. While not out, i'm usually masculine enough to be "one of the boys" and most of them, while making the occasional racist or sexist joke, still have standards. They do pretty gross things but aren't misogynistic assholes. my brother and father are very manly, cisgender, heterosexual christian men, but they show their emotions and society is yet to crumble. i strive to be like them. Positive masculinity is real, it coexist with positive femininity and i think we could all learn a thing or two from it
Obviously this woman doesn’t understand camaraderie and bravado in a brotherhood setting and is completely mogged by actual men who can smell the intruder
Soon you will join us in talking about “disgusting things”. Until you understand that part, your transition will always be incomplete. Having grown up as a girl and most likely a feminist, you just dont understand it and why it is a part of being a guy.
@@luxolontamo4440 Yeap. But not understanding the need to vent with your friends within one of the few areas you are safe is quite an important lesson to miss. Yes we say stupid, crude stuff. But we also all know it isn't real. It is jokes, bants. It is meant to be absurd. And it is very important because it forms bonds between men because deep down we all know why we do it. It is a distraction from all the s*** in the world and we are now determined to not let that get us down, we are with the boys and we will laugh, even at the dumbest s*** ever.
You kind of remind me of Ben Shapiro. And yes we are gross when talk about girls just make sure they dont hear thats the key. You'll get the hang of it
As a straight middle aged guy, I can tell you that the lack of meaningful emotional interaction is unfortunately pretty normal. Guys don't like to talk about how they feel, and it really sucks when you want to talk to someone but you can't. I can talk to my wife of course, but there are some things we experience as guys that really only another guy can relate to. I don't like the societal pressure that you are supposed to keep your emotions to yourself but it's definitely there and it's a powerful force. Thanks for the video and for taking the time to share your thoughts!
not every men like that stop it
There is an easy solution to that. You have to be the one to share something emotional first.
I'm pretty sure you can share that kind of stuff with your wife because she started it.
I see this as also a cultural thing. I talk about emotions with guy friends and girl friends the same I just don't have very many friends
@@strbor2506 that stigma of ment being sentimental is what we used to call "gender" as in the social expectations of behaviour ascribed on the basis of sex.
Men aren't emotional because females see at as a weakness. Want to get cheated on? Show that weakness. 😂
Not to discredit your point at all, I just wanted to point out something:
You mentioned that you started transitioning as a child and noticed people around you to listen more and take you more seriously.
I am cis guy and Ive experienced something similar around age 14 or so.
It might just be about older people realising you are getting closer to adulthood, so they can expect more from you.
I remember when my mother first started talking to me about important things at that age, using a normal tone and having a proper conversation, I realised she probably thinks Im finally mature enough to have those conversations, when in reality I felt like I was ready like 2 years earlier.
As a cisdude, this helps put to words my general displeasure with the rigidity of how gender roles are internalized (lots of therapy has proven the ease with which these things can catch/cling to the psyche). A good portion of many people's adult lives are spent coming to terms with that. So thanks for the words, my dude.
Therapy? Cisdude? My god, what the fuck happened to you
If women dated men that looked like this "man" then I would imagine gendered the expectations would change. Men adapt. Men want families, love, acceptance. We respond to what get us women.
@@loganblackwood2922 Exactly.
@@loganblackwood2922 It's the women's sexual selection that really sets the standards of society.
There are no cis it’s a made up word. There are only biological man and woman. Now transformers too
Welcome to the real man's world!
Doctors, therapist, psychiatrist, nurses and psychologist:
Lies, and lies, they are sharing you their lies. And you believe them daily, as you go and ruin your own lives.
Lies, oh lies, they know not how to care. They know not how to love, what its to have a heart warmly beating in your chest.
They have lost their mind, they have gone mad and they drag you with them into the outer darkness of insanity.
Seek ye GOD and get your mind back, get back your life and your will to live, escape the madness.
Your are not trans or any other lie, which you daily believe.
You are FOOLS, who are deceived daily.
You reject the BIBLE - the only source of truth, thats why lies you buy and suffer thereafter.
This was really interesting. It’s crazy *how much* gender rolls actually affect people. On the surface it might be seen as completely harmless but can actually have deeper affects like this
Gender roles*
Yeah,that guys shouldn't cry or that women have to be soft.It's terrible.
Men not crying is a direct result of women's feelings of disgust when seeing a crying man. It's women's fault as usual.
Guys handle emotions different
Great realization thanks for sharing hope a lot of people see this video. Bonus kudos for using the black-and-white film throughout...nice!
It's interesting you didn't notice how less close you get with people until much later. I transitioned mid-twenties and it was one of the first things that I blatantly noticed. It's much more lonely on the other side.
I talk about my feelings all the time with my brothers we don't really care about what guys are meant to talk about or not meant to talk about. It's possible your guy friends don't relate to you in the same way they used to for any number of reasons, I don't think it's because they're male.
when you said that you can't/find it hard to be emotional with other boys all I could think was "Why?" because in my mind it just isnt something that you do.
Which is not good for men in general
Every mother is a woman so they deserve respect.Also a man is a man,regardless cis or trans.I hate it when people say that trans men are weaker than cis men and stuff.
I feel you, I'm kind of in the liminal space, where I identify nonbinary transfemme, but for safety and brevity I present more masc (I'm amab.) and It hard to remind people I'm trans/ nonbinary (making the distinction for benefit of the reader). My best friend forgets that im nonbinary a lot and still talks to me like I'm one of the guys, and It's kind of irritating.
The gender roles in which we inhabit seemingly pertain directly to how well we as trans, enby, and GNC folk, Pass. And as passing is something that not everyone can do, myself included, I find it a weird place trans people have found themselves in, with the cis narrative being the narrative we listen to in today's day and age. Only time and progress will help eliminate gender barriers.
As a transfemme person, I walk around with a skirt on sometimes and get nothing but stares because of my bodies masculine build. I've finally gotten to the point where I can identify my body as a woman's body and as a nonbinary body, but that's not the way The cis collective or greater society for that matter perceives me. Thus is think it's important for trans guys, trans gals, and everyone inside or outside of that binary to express their thoughts just as you had in this video.
Ante Meridian who care what you are? I don’t care what someone is, you guys are so thirsty
@@CryptoMafia 4 years later, all I'll say is that I hope your attitude has improved
You'd pass as a gay dude
I went to a bachelor party once. I can't say the stripper wasn't attractive; but it was disgusting. The things guys do, because it's expectations engrained in them, can be disturbing.
Wow Connor that was a really refreshing thought on how engraved gender roles are. I think i've always had an inkling inside of me which is one of the reasons why I'm still so unsure about coming out as transman. Even though you're speaking from the perspective of how Cis men treat you differently, I'm more worried about how my cisfemale friends would treat me after i come out. Having gone to an all-girls school I think there's a huge part of me that's worried how they'd treat me differently and the different standards they might impose on me if i were to come out as transman. How about you? Do cis females treat you any differently now? would love to hear your thoughts!
That's a great question! I think I can say quite honestly that my friendships with women and femme-identifying people haven't really changed all that much. There's been a bit of me adjusting to checking the privilege I know hold as a male-identifying person. And I would say after a while it felt odd to be on the other side of a "girls night." Sometimes my friends will forget that even though I haven't had my period in years I can still relate more than most men haha! But I've experienced far fewer changes with the women in my life. Of course, that's just me! Either way, as far as your friendships go, I would say to be patient if you do feel a shift or change. They're your friends, they love you, and though there may be some adjusting at first they'll hopefully understand that at the end of the day you're still the same person.
CherryPork there is no such thing as gender roles. This is a girl, she thinks like a girl and talks like a girl, listen to the video, it’s a girl pretending to be a man.
Connor O'Keefe it isn’t gender roles, it’s the differences between men and women, you still act and talk like a girl, don’t you see that?
There was this girl in my old unit that decided to transition and did so out of pocket, she (because she was a she at the time) can afford it because of her line of civilian work while in the National Guard. The impressive part was, unlike most females who could not keep up with the males at all, she wanted to be exactly like a male so she asked to be graded by the male PT standard and passed it. Not by a lot or anything but she passed it which is pretty awesome. Told me that it took him so much hard work to get up to the male PT since men do have a natural advantage over women. It pushed me to max out the PT test because if he could raise his standards than I could it was awesome.
Obviously I had a lot of questions while going through this transition. Anytime you have somebody doing something different than what you are used to, it is only natural to ask and be simultaneously curious and intrigued. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, I don't think that she was/ is better than me for becoming a he nor do I think I'm better than him for being born a biological male in the first place. But it was cool being able to talk and even help someone who was going through a hard time in their life because of this transition and questioning their reality alongside how they were feeling. Seeing this all firsthand and up close while getting involved is the best thing you can do to help others.
Sorry for rambling a bit, but I don't know what he is up to now. I know he said he wanted to get out of the military after his six years was up and I'm sure he did. I think it is wonderful that Society is very understanding as long as you do not write them off. I'm not going to say the exact unit, but this was in Indiana. Being military and in Indiana The Stereotype would be that they would hate gay or trans people but that is not the case. What helps is talking to each other and letting people speak their point of view while being respectful about it.
I'm going to send him a message today and find him on Facebook, I'll let you know what he is up to everyone when I hear back from him.
Look, I think your behavior around cis men might not be so much about societal gender roles but instead might be caused by an inherit introverted personality or heightened anxiety due in part by the transitions in your life or genetics in nature. This would explain issues socializing with other men or expressing emotional behavior.
It's probably a mixture of both.
Very interesting video!
Wise words
Everything you said resonates with me! I really needed this video tonight, it describes how I feel perfectly.
Just what were they saying that said females are inferior?
This is such a video a woman would make 🤣🤣
You are idubbz brother
But cuter 😀😀😋
men suffer in silence, indeed, and often.
yet... as men need something so deep, i don't think this is another thing to be placed upon suffering men, why don't women not just actively engage in conversation with guy friends, but actually go out of the way to be there incase they do feel like they can lean on you.
What does becoming emotionally vulnerable mean? Sounds awful.
We're not all like that though as I'm a guy and I'm not in the least bit sexist as I have respect for girls
k but like when ISN'T Aiden being cute tho
EWWWWWWW :P
@@aidenbrown-rivkin8025 she ain't talking about you
@@femboyrules7594 she is quite literally talking about me.
I am the Aiden in question lmao.
I’m always cute
Society puts different expectations on men. You will now be judged more by your status and financial standing. You may find that both men and women have these expectations of you. As a result, you get listened to more when you talk about ideas and plans, but you get listened to less when you talk about your feelings. Most of us don't feel the need to relate feelings as much as women do, but we show feelings in other ways through our actions , humor and comradery more than our words. It seems that you are still used to female ways of communicating. It's a trade off.
You mean the 2 cis men out there LMAO
Think you need to explain 'Cis'.
CIS means CANADIEN INTERCOLLEGIATE SPORTS....
You kinda look like Idubbbz
Why are you literally the best person?? Damn bro smh.
As a man that I believe you already are I would say, don’t expect emotional intimacy with other guys. You get it from your girlfriend or women. They are very loving and caring and full of emotions which will help you a lot. They’re easy to talk to and very loving. If you want other guys to be like that you are placing a huge burden on your friends. Like you said, you are experiencing a lack of emotions and a lack of intimacy. You’ve been a man for 10 years how about the ones that that’s all they’ve ever known? Use your manhood to understand them now and don’t crave so much of that intimacy. The intimacy you get from getting a smile or hug maybe once a month and giving one too obviously. And the rest like I said you can get from your girlfriend.
Nooooo that's such an unhealthy way of viewing friendships and relationships! It is not a significant other's responsibility to be the sole source of intimacy for their partner! That can put a huge strain on a relationship and honestly is an impossible task. And just because men aren't socialized to be open and intimate with others doesn't mean we shouldn't challenge that assumption. Learning to connect and express emotions in a healthy way is something that can and should be taught! I'm genuinely curious what makes you think it's so impossible to do?
@@ConnorOKeefe I'm a little late to the conversation but because most men generally prefer it this way. We bond through activity, not through talking about emotions. There are some that would like more intimacy, and some that really would benefit from it as they now receive almost none, if any. But most don't like to talk about their feelings. Just knowing there's someone you can trust, if need be, is enough most of the time, no talking required (though getting to that level of trust with someone is pretty difficult, which is why those who do have that person its at most just 1 best friend and/or their partner). If emotions get overwhelming, and you have someone in your inner most circles, THEN a guy will talk about their feelings, though mileage may vary. In other cases getting emotional will only work to a guy's detriment, so we avoid it.
A personal experience: I have two best friends, and I know they have my back no matter what and vice versa. We'll go months with no contact and when we meet we mostly catch up on recent events over dinner, in one such case a loved one had recently died. They expressed their sympathy. After some drinks I expressed my sadness, three sentences total, they patted me on the shoulder; then we shortly switched back to jokes and stories. Had they prodded I probably would've said more, but I'm glad they didn't. As it is, I think I said too much. Not because "men don't cry" or whatever but because I didn't need to say so much. I didn't need to talk to them about it, just to know they were for me, which they were.
I hope that answers your curiosity a bit.
See I don't think men lack intimacy, it's just a different kind.
You are a VICTIM!😂😂😂😂
I don't think you fit in all that well among dudes. The reason why theres "rude talk" is that you're not really supposed to get offended much as a man, as a result lot of jokes can be dirty. If you do and constantly say some joke is wrong, others will start to shut you out and think you're a bit of a wuss or gay at best, or realize you're a woman at worst. On the flipside a dude who constantly berates women comes off as insecure, something you can retort to with a joking jab of your own. In general an ideal man is not expected to be obsessed about any topic for too long if it isn't their hobbies or similar passions or work. And getting upset is the fastest way to show your insecurity about the issue.
A person who constantly gets upset about what he says is the last person a man will share his feelings to, nobody likes to walk on egg shells. If you want a man to open to you, you need to have a calm environment (sauna, bonfire with booze etc.). If he shares his soul to you and your first response is critisizing what he said, you just betrayed his trust and solidified his belief that he shouldn't open to anyone.
Men opening to each other to begin with is incredibly rare, usually only among close friends and only in very specific situations. Despite spending time with your male close friend every day, you're lucky to get him to open up 1-3 times a year. You're not going to be able to change this behaviour by insinuating that men should be less like men.
So you can tell that men and women think and process emotions differently, but you are shocked at gender roles.
We treat people different because people think and feel different, and we do this with gender, age, race, nationality etc, even weight.
If you are a white man, you can't go around asking your black friends to help you pick cotton at your farm. That's not racist, but it might be perceived as such.
So sad... She thinks she's a dude
they know you're a chick
🤣
chicken ?
The way men interact with men. Is how men interact with people they don’t want to have sex with. It’s a low risk low reward relationship. Men shouldn’t be emotional as a trans man. You shouldn’t try to change male spaces or how we think. Things are like this for a good reason. Society would crumble if men were more emotional.
Cope
Men are emotional. Their emotion though usually takes the form of rage or anger.
@@9395gb I’m actually okay with that rage and anger could translate to masculine actions. Like defending your family or making more money because the love of your life said you’ll never be good enough for love. Because you couldn’t afford to pay for her dream lifestyle.
How is it a Gross scenerio when cis guys talk the way they do, as a trans man I have learned that it's OK it's part of being a guy. You only think it's Gross because you're still stuck in the female mind set, didn't you transition to become a guy you have to realize that men and women are not the same mentally and as a trans man I have accepted that it's something not worth complaining about!
When guys talking "the way they do" becomes misogynistic or sexist, then no it's not ok.
Yeah man I'm a trans dude and I think the same
Ironic that you pretend to be male and adopt misogynistic beliefs. Handmaiden. You’ll never not be a woman, you’re just a self hating one. Shame.
I find the term Cis man offensive. Out of respect for the majority of men and women who don't use the term cis, you shold really stop using that term
Cis just means you identify with your birth sex. It’s not offensive, it’s a literal scientific term. Would you rather be called trans? Like I genuinely do not understand the cis people that make this an issue. The majority of people don’t care about the usage of the term cis
@@Reneeheartlovewith the greatest respect, I don't tell you what to find offensive or not. The term 'cis' didn't even exist before 2020. I work in medical science and it's never be used as a scienfitic word either. There are two sexes, male and female. It's strange how certain tiny part of the population get very upset when others use the wrong pronouns, however, when the vast major of the population ask others to respect their disgust and offence at the term 'cis' they don't offer the same respect. Make that make sense
@MoorlanderEDC the term cisgender dates back as early as the 1990’s. You can even check Merriam-Webster, as this is where I got this information from. You act like this is a slur. Grow up. Check your privilege. This should be common knowledge to you if you worked in the medical field you say you worked in.
@@Reneeheartlove there we go. It's like talking to a child. That privilege line is such an NPC comment that copied and pasted. Let's check some other words that people find offensive. The N word. Some people use it all day every day, however many people still find it offensive. Should the latter check their privilege? How about queer? My gay dad is of a generation that queer is a slur. He finds the term offensive. Should he check his gay privilege. I can also check your a child with you lack of knowledge of science and medicine. All of my doctor and faculty colleagues use medical terms... Male and female. Luckily you'll grow up and realise that your young and fashionable ideology is purely that
@MoorlanderEDC just going to skip the fact I listed that goes against what you said previously? That I provided rebuttal to your claim that the term cisgender didn’t exist “until 2020”? You’re ignorant. I’m done arguing with you
Yeaa not so fun huh? 😂😂😂 welcome to the club nobody cares guy
All the things you're talking about are Normal Guy Things...we're NOT close.
We might be buddies, we fist-bump or high-five, we talk about the ball game or some awesome play or bad referee call, and then we go about our way. We mostly Do Not make a 'new friend' in the restroom.
Most of our feelings are bottled up inside and WE deal with it, because they are Ours. We are expected to Help Others...Lift that heavy box, take out the trash, and we regret, at times, when No One says Thanks...Try opening a Door, out in public for strangers...For guys, that is just the 'polite-thing-we're-supposed-to-do...MOST of the time, there is no 'thank you'. That is a small example of EVERYTHING that guys accept in their daily life. Male Suicide is Far Higher, just as Transitioners is, because it is just an aspect of Male Life that can't be taught or 'they' can't accurately warn you about...Life as a Man, is DIFFERENT, but never think, that it is easy.
If you were actually a male you would understand I actually know someone who Transitioned from female to male originally thought she/he was a lesbian and she/he had the same thought patterns as men do and you would have called many things she ( lesbian) said sexist if a man said it
Cis Male. Interesting term. It's a way of marginalising a normal person.
Norm Macdonald
@@TheSands83 I see, you're a man of culture as well
“Normal”
What 😭😭😭😭
So you grew up and became an adult and people started taking you more seriously? No way, bro.
Ew, there's is so much transphobia in this coment section by wannabe sigma males. While not out, i'm usually masculine enough to be "one of the boys" and most of them, while making the occasional racist or sexist joke, still have standards. They do pretty gross things but aren't misogynistic assholes. my brother and father are very manly, cisgender, heterosexual christian men, but they show their emotions and society is yet to crumble. i strive to be like them. Positive masculinity is real, it coexist with positive femininity and i think we could all learn a thing or two from it
Obviously this woman doesn’t understand camaraderie and bravado in a brotherhood setting and is completely mogged by actual men who can smell the intruder
Soon you will join us in talking about “disgusting things”. Until you understand that part, your transition will always be incomplete.
Having grown up as a girl and most likely a feminist, you just dont understand it and why it is a part of being a guy.
It's hilarious how she forces female notions on guys and feel the need to corner them with all these feminist talking points.
@@luxolontamo4440 Yeap. But not understanding the need to vent with your friends within one of the few areas you are safe is quite an important lesson to miss.
Yes we say stupid, crude stuff. But we also all know it isn't real. It is jokes, bants. It is meant to be absurd. And it is very important because it forms bonds between men because deep down we all know why we do it. It is a distraction from all the s*** in the world and we are now determined to not let that get us down, we are with the boys and we will laugh, even at the dumbest s*** ever.
Still a woman
Don’t say that it’s cunty😊
You kind of remind me of Ben Shapiro. And yes we are gross when talk about girls just make sure they dont hear thats the key. You'll get the hang of it
This goes both ways though, I've heard girls talk in ways about guys, with details that men don't even come close to.