Having A Transgender Child: Parent's Perspective
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- Опубліковано 24 кві 2018
- My mum and dad answer some questions about my transition and how they feel about me being transgender.
My partner also made a video like this on her perspective of being in a relationship with a trans guy: • Being With A Trans Guy...
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Instagram: / jammi.dodger
Twitter: / jammi_dodger94
Email: jamieraines@hotmail.com
I love that they say that they had to learn the CORRECT name and pronoun, many people talk about "prefered" names and pronouns but like, it's not prefered, it's YOUR pronoun
Well, I guess some people say that because they use multiple pronouns/names.
Same 🥺
Now I understand why Jamie is such a little ray of sunshine!
His parents are just as warm 💛
:) they're really noice
WHEN YOUR DAD DID THE LITTLE KISS THING AT YOUR MUM AT THE START MY HEART EXPLODED THEY'RE THE CUTEST LIL COUPLE MY GOOOOD
SAAAAAMMMME!
I KNOWWW except I think they're all quite tall.
YAAAAS!!!
Yeah
My child came out to me recently. I can’t express how happy I am to have found you. And your parents are my goals. 💕❤️💕
Heather’s Happy Place awww, that's lovely
Heather’s Happy Place You’re an absolutely amazing mom looking up videos like this and finding information for your kid!
Yes yes thank you for not just shutting your kid down, it means a lot to them.
You are an amazing parent
OMG! you're an amazing parent! 😁
It seems to be a recurring theme in the stories of parents talking about their responses to their kids coming out that they are afraid by how other people will treat their kid, not always actually judgmental of their kid's identity.
MewWolf5 Remember, those are just the parents who are still around and are also willing to share their experiences.
Kelsey S True, the parents who couldn't accept it and wouldn't adapt or come around to the fact that their kid is trans aren't going to be the kind of parents who are willing to sit down and give a Q&A about it with their trans kid. Jaimie's parents seem absolutely lovely. He's lucky, and I hope that more people will take a leaf from their book in supporting and understanding their trans child.
That was my parents reaction when I came out as gay
that was also my mom's reaction to me coming out as gay, one of the first things she told me was "you won't tell anyone though, right?"
MewWolf5 If my son ever wants to become an "it" I'm putting "it" in a box and shipping "it" to "it's" mothers so she can raise "it".
Parents who FitBit together, stay together. *Iconic*
Why can't all parents be like yours, the world would be such a better place
Amen
Praise the lord ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Because we all are carrying a load, bigger or smaller, for which we are prepared, more or less, most of the time more less than less more.
Same also little off topic but I came out recently as bi and it's a mix of accepting to unaccepting but I'm not really stopping for their expectations and who I am and want to love💜💗💙
Wow man I’m early. My brother came out as trans FTM two months ago and told me to watch your videos because you were the main reason that he was able to come out and realise who he is
Max Smith that's amazing!
Tell your brother he is amazing! 💜 He is very brave for doing it!
Max Smith so your brother or your sister?
Mercian Man they clearly say brother..
It's his brother a brother now or is hisbrother his sister now? This shit is confusing
I’m surprised Jamie doesn’t have a slight Scottish accent cos his parents are very clearly Scottish! They’re really open minded 👍🏻
I think kids rarely have the same accents as their parents if they grew up in a different place than them. But the Scottish accent was a surprise!
Anathema Device I have grown up in Canada, my parents have strong English accents, my (seven years older than I) sister who also had lived in the UK does not. I have a fairly strong accent.
He did say in another video that he wanted a scotish accent like his parents
I know right?! His Mum sounds like Nicola Sturgeon 😂
I hope that anyone that has had to come out in any way has parents as loving as this.
Your parents are AMAZING! What a sweet & kind couple! I see who you get your genuinely caring, friendly, & kind personality from Jammi- both of your parents! They’re so supportive & just amazing! I can’t get over it! You’ve been truly blessed!
I legit started crying during this because both of my brothers are trans, the older only out to me(we work at the same place and he wanted to be out to our coworkers) and my younger brother is out to everyone but my father because he's very homophobic and we're all very anxious of how he's react but your mom reminds me of my mom and it gives me hope that they'll both grow up to lead happy lives like you have been able to! Thank you for all your videos❤❤❤
oh I hope everything has gone well with your brothers & best of luck to you & your family!
need an update on the dad, man.
Your parents are utterly adorable, sweet and supportive. And the way that they are looking at each other while talking, they seem genuinely in love. That's so nice and lovely to see nowadays.
Your parents seem very in sync with eachother. Very comfortable. Nice to watch.
just like how he and Shaaba are 🥺
Thank you, from the parent of a young woman just starting her transition. You are very reassuring!
I hope that your daughter is finally comfortable and happy in the body she was always meant to have, and is living her best life! We really need more parents like you in the world. I'm trans as well (ftm), and having just 1 supportive person can make your life so much easier. I'm not out to my parents, and don't think I ever will be, but my best friends know my proper name and pronouns, and it makes my day whenever they are used. I hope you have a great day, and thank you for being an amazing human being! - Percy 💙
I’m all teary...Jamie your parents are so sweet 💖. I’m cis & my mother manipulated me my whole life & lied to stop me being me, it’s so damaging, hence we never told my mum that my daughter is gay, I didn’t want my daughter to experience the toxicity of my mother. My mother has now died.
Oh, Im sorry about that.
Deiru thank you 😘 many of us have things in our life that are trying, we just need to seek out the best ppl to be around us & to trust in them...no one needs toxic ppl in their life...
You’re parents are amazing. I’m straight and cisgender but I’ve heard some horror stories from people I know and your family is just amazing
Same! I love the way his parents are so accepting. Those horror stories are so shockingly common, it's disgusting right? I'm cis as well, not exactly straight, but multiple of my friends are trans and I see their struggle every day. It's not okay...
As a parent of a newly "out" mtf, I am relating to your parents so much!
How's your daughter now?^^
Aww trans sisters are kinda rare here
They are charming and this is very helpful. My 13 year old daughter (assigned male at birth) came out to us a month ago. 🥰
Tip: u can use AMAB as an abbreviation!
Aww trans sisters are kinda rare I think? Cause only see ftm brothers here lol, anyway, the best to your daughter
So beautiful...I’m binge watching for my nephew. I love him more than life and I want to be his biggest support 😘😘
Tell your nephew that we love him, and that I wish him the best for his transition
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)
ok but why is nobody talking about the dog?
The dog is me lol
I didn't see it till you mentioned it omg
Omg I didn’t see it until I read this & now I can’t unsee
"Woof woof" (translation: All trans folk,including my brother,are valid)
I didn't see the dog until they got up. Then they teleported on top of the couch and I didn't notice them for a long time again.
Coming to this two years later ..With every question, they answer as your parents-support, worry, happiness. You aren't just any person, you are their child.. Amazing family!!
These straights are very ok
I love your parents, they're so nice
Oh. Are your parents scottish? They are the best case for parents of trans people where we cant expect them to fully understand straight away but they do fully support and try to learn. My parent are like that so i know how awesome it feels and how lucky we are
christine anderson thats awesome! You are very lucky and support is # 1 in my personal situation that more then anything i want! 😊
christine anderson Lol 😂 sorry I found you question 'are your parents Scottish' very amusing 😂🤣 That ain't no English accent 🤓🤗
I was surprised by the Scottish accents as well, there isn't really any hint of that in the way Jamie talks. Not that I'm complaining, I love the way Scottish accents sound. 😀
Like wtf he has a horrifically southern accent, why are his parents Scottish?! xD
They grew up in Glasgow- though his father was born in Malta.
As a trans-parent, I would also advise other trans-parents to tune out the political and religious nonsense, and read up as much as possible on the scientific/medical journal articles on trans. They will relieve you of any guilt you may have, as science understands this phenomenon to be either 100 percent genetic or a result of a hormone surge in the uterus during fetal development. But do your own medical/ scientific research; it helps a lot.
Thank you for saying this! I plan to come out to my parents in the next 2 years, it's comforting to know/hear about parents who listen to the science and not all the "political and religious nonsense", as you've so wonderfully put it 😄
@@LoreCatan I had a bit of an advantage because I was very close to my trans-son before he came out. I knew from his very young age that he was just more like a boy. Good luck with your parents and regardless of the outcome, to thine own self be true.
There is no sound research on “trans”. Read the Interim Cass Report.
@@Jenny-nz8fb ok mister "real person" yea i TOTALLY believe you "exist"
Oh no! The people who disliked had their phones upside down!
Nah, they were closeted trans kids trying to like through their tears. :)
Your parents are so supportive. My mum is in her own way supportive of me being a lesbian. But it's honestly a bit insulting to me. She says things like. Well even if you turn out to be gay, I'm okay with that, but I don't think you can know until you've been in a relationship with a girl. I'm still in an early stage of coming out and I feel very awkward when I talk about it, so I find it difficult to tell my mom that I really am gay.
monika_chr thats kinda like when i came out as trans to my mom she said to me “you don’t know that, your probably just really butch and videos are making you think that way”
MrCloverProductions Does your mom still believe that?
MrCloverProductions I basically decided not to bring up my sexuality around my mother anymore. If I get a girlfriend I'll tell her.
I can relate. My mom is generally accepting, but she's somewhat confused with all the newly talked about identities. I once talked about intersex people with her, and how biological sex consists of many factors, and she was both interested in the new information, and dissappointed that she wasn't taught anything about it when she was in school. She was like she had been bethrayed. 😂 But she's a bit sceptical about non-binary people for example, she once said, "I wonder if androgyny is somehow trendy now?" And I felt a bit offended, as an androgynous woman, (and I didn't begin to explain to her how androgyny and non-binary are different) but I just answered, "I think people just have more vocabulary now", or something like that, and she didn't disagree. I have recently realized I have a crush on a woman, but I don't know if I'll tell my mom before I find out what my crush thinks about me and how things really are between us. I haven't talked to my mom much about my crushes in general, so it's awkward.
When I came out as bisexual my mum said 'Just don't come home one day wearing a dress' WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN hahhhaaha
Omg they are so gorgeous I feel like I just want to give them a hug 😍 Your mom seems so confident in what she's saying. She admits her concerns and her fears but nonetheless is incredibly supportive. I wish ALL parents were like that!
i’m a ftm and i’m not out yet i am 13 and felt like in my life there was something missing i felt like i was jealous of the boys playing football i was always “tom boy” but as i got older i really wanted to cut my hair like my brother i really wanted to wear boys clothes and sound like one then after a lot of googling i found out i am transgender
I hope things are going good for you!
Are your parents from Scotland? I absolutely adore their accent!
Noémi Jánossy it definitely sounds like they are
How does that explain jammi not having an accent though?
Beatrice boonen he does just a British one he was probably brought up in England or London or whatever and took more to the Britishness then the scottishness (ness is the new ish apparently according to my brain) you pick things up over time
Kids brought up in a different place generally have the accent from the place they live not the same accent as their parents! For example, my parents have indian accents and I have have a completely american accent!
Molly Wallbank Scottish is British but he has an English one definitely. 😊
So wholesome. Every trans or NB youth deserves these loving accepting, concerned parents.
Ok, when they look at each other and Dad gives the nod and blows the kiss....that's freaking adorable and definite relationship goals 😍
omg this is soo cute! thinking about sending this to my parents who are not quite as supportive
Your parents really ought to host a support group for other parents of children who are transgender and especially who recently have come out to their parents.
Your parents are lovely and warm! So glad you had/have such loving support.
omg my mom kinda had the same point about having worries as a parent, she told me that has a parent you're just worried for your child because you want them to be happy and be treated well and you don't want them to come to harm, so worried in that way. I love seeing other parents say that.
That's honestly beautiful
They're soooo sweet!
Don't feel bad, even as a native speaker, Scottish accents can be difficult at times!
I really like how you deal with the whole transgender thing. You're not an attention seeker, you just want to inform people about the issue and its real meaning and live a happy life as a man. Good for you
Jammi, you're so inspiring to me. My name is Skylar, and I'm a 13 year old trans guy, despite having no support from anyone, your videos are so helpful to me. I admire people like you, you're a role model for young trans folks like me, someone we can look up to, and it's so appreciated. Thanks again Jammi,
-Skylar
Hopefully you have people that support you now and are doing better
Your parents are so understanding and amazing iam so happy they have supported you since day one :))
THEIR ACCENTS.
More people should be like this well done mum and dad.... if all parents were like this id see far less kids come into my care. A lot of my foster kids have been kids kicked out after coming out as gay or lesbian. Just recently ive had a child tell me that he is not a little girl but a little boy so over the last year ive been watching several trans people on you tube to learn the best way to help this little one.
This is such a lovely vid! Informative and embraced with love 😊 thank you for making it and thank your parents for starting in it!
This is so great on how supportive your parents are. Seeing them being open minded and having a genuine concern for your happiness is awesome. Love you Jamie!
Your parents are so precious. Seeing their support and unconditional love for their child is so sweet
Wow I am truly so in awe at the love that your whole family emits. So much love and light, such beautiful kind accepting souls. Everyone on your channel just radiates love and light and good energy. So lucky to have such sweet open minded parents 💖
Top notch parents and top notch parenting right here - That's just fantastic, I'm so happy for you Jaimie, and I wish for all other trans people to have parents who can be understanding and happy for their kids like yours.
ive seen some videos with parents of trans kids where they seem apprehensive to talk even though they supported their child, idk why they do that and theres no shame bc theres tons of reasons, but it was really nice to see parents who were extremely at ease and talked so extensively. i think thats really helpful to parents of trans folks to see. also i didnt expect the scottish accents i love it!!! love mr and mrs raines
Parent goals....I LOVE your parents. They are fabulous and clearly the reason why you are such a kind and caring human. How wonderful that you were able to have this support in self actualisation . ❤
Your parents are absolute sweethearts! I have no idea why anyone would dislike the video. On a side note, your dad really reminds me of the talking bust from Art Attack! I can't remember what he was called haha!
why did I read this as absolute sweatshirts.
I love this video too! I just watched the video with Gordon and then to see your parents too! No wonder your brother was supportive! You both have such great role models! Your parents are SO sweet and that little kiss your dad does to your mom right before they start is just too beautiful! They are clearly a loving and supportive of each other and of you, and that’s just SO great to see! ❤️❤️
Your parents are fantastic, no wonder you grew up to be a great guy. The world needs more kind, compassionate and intelligent people like yourselves. Thank you for all of your work sharing your experiences and helping others.
I absolutely love Jamie’s parents. So kind, thoughtful, intelligent, articulate and caring. I wish every trans kid or adult had parents like Christine & Malcolm Raines. I’ve shared this video with at least 4 friends whose kids are going through transition in the USA, where parental attitudes towards sexuality & gender can be so much harder for parents to address or accept. Jamie, please know how much you & your parents have helped other trans kids, teens & adults…
Your parents are wonderful! You can see how they are a team as parents and I love your dad dropping the words your mom tries to paint emotionally. Also: SCOTTISH ACCENT 😍😍😍
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Showing loving parents and how things get better makes things so much easier for those of us who are still in the beginning ❤
A couple of tears came out :) Thanks for sharing so much. I have a couple of friends that are trans and I really want to be supportive so your videos help a lot. I love the fact that you are working so hard in making this easier and lovelier, because with so much hate going on in life we need more love. Big hug.
In my language we don't differentiate between men and women when we call them, we use the same word for her and him which is "ő".
Jamie, I love your parents! Thank you so much for interviewing them. Very informative.
And the pup on the sofa is adorable, btw.
Now I know why Jamie turned out so well. Nice job, mom and dad!
I get so sad and jealous when i see parents like this. its good that there are many parents like that, but... im just so sad that my parents can't be like this.
My childhood was let's just say less than ideal and I had the same experience watching other kids interact with their parents. I have since been "adopted " by friends parents and their siblings and this has helped more than I can explain. I'm even on the short list of who gets informed about family events ie engagement, pregnancy and illnesses. Feels like a fresh start. I hope I can do this for my children's friends if the need should arise.
Your parents are truly amazing!!! I love how both of them are very supportive of you. Btw love them to bits!!! They are sooo adorable.
I really just adore your parents! I can see just how amazing and open and loving they are. If only more people in general could be like this, supporting one another and just being kind all around ❤️
Your parents seem like such nice people and they love you a lot! I was touched at how your dad expressed that he's proud of the well-rounded and mature person you've become. I'm sure you know this, but you're so lucky to have parents who have made such an effort to learn how to understand and support you through everything you've gone through! Your brother is great too from what I've seen in other videos. My hope is one day every person has such love in their lives. ❤
This is so gorgeous!!! 😁 What a beautiful interview! Thank you for sharing your views 💖
Wow, it's wonderful that you have supportive and open-minded parents :3 They seem so friendly and intelligent. I would like to be that kind of parent to my children someday 😊
Your parents are wonderful. If everyone was raised in such love and support, we would have so much more happiness and positivity for all.
I've probably watched this video 3 times by now. Your parents just seem so genuine and kind, and they obviously love you so much. It's really encouraging to see how accepting and proud they are of you. (Also, seeing Benji being a cutie-pie in the background is a bonus. Such a good boy!)
I'm still debating on if I'll ever come out to my parents. On one hand, I know they hold a lot of transphobic sentiments, mostly because of their conservative religion. On the other hand, I also know most of their knowledge on trans people is founded on misunderstanding, and that despite our ideological differences, they love me a lot. I used to be adamant about "oh, I'll just never ever tell them" but now I'm at least starting to consider it. In a safe, "write a letter, leave it in their mailbox in the middle of the night, and then turn off my phone for 3 days while they process it" sort of way, lol
Watching videos of how your loved ones are so encouraging and accepting makes me feel better as I'm starting to let some of my friends find out, and your videos in general have been a lifesaver for a baby trans. Also, I *swear* I am capable of writing comments that are less rambly, over-sharing, and emotional. Theoretically. Maybe. My point here was that your parents are good and deserve all the good things in the world. :)
What a lovely video and such sweet and supportive parents! This video makes me feel very happy and warm-hearted :)
Your parents are just amazing!! I've just come across your channel - the support and love is incredible it brought tears to my eyes. I came out gay to my mum over two years ago and its only been very recently she is coming round *no pun intended*. Adorable video!!
You’re parents seem so lovely just like yourself and I’m defiantly going to be showing mine this video to help them TRY to understand 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Such an adorable video, loved your parents accent.
Unrelated - spotting the dog in the background was fun.
I have been so thrilled that I have found your channel, especially with the amount of depth of insight you give, and the amount of education that can be taken from them. To see and hear your parents speak about you and your journey has been an absolute delight.
Thanks to all {{{hugs}}}
I love both of your parents! Honesty, love, caring comes shining through! Great accents too! I can see how Jamie is such a great person!
Why is everyone in this family so wholesome?!
Thank you Jammi that means a lot to me! It helps to talk to my parents.
Your parents are so amazing and lovely! Much respect and love to them both! They’re amazing!
Your parents are so sweet! It's really lovely to see supportive parents plus they have great accents! I wonder what made them so open to your transition; like were they raised that way or develop their views later in life before you came out. In my experience I've seen a lot of resistance with older parents and individuals.
I love how your mom gave such incredibly in depth answers ☺
I love that your parents are Scottish Jamie - that came as a big surprise. They're awesome and I loved the video with your brother too. Love you guys!!
You have the sweetest parents. I'm hoping that my experience coming out to my dad will be okay. This has calmed some of the anxiety about it, but I know that being (from the sounds of it) about 10 years older, and my dad being a more conservative person, that it will probably be much harder on him. I'm hoping things work out, but I'm glad that you have supportive and understanding parents who wanted to learn more about you and your transition.
Your parents are adorable and so supportive ! Thank you for the video ! ❤ ( also, I love their accent! 😄 )
I love your parents!!! So amazingly wonderful and supportive! People like them make your heart happy just knowing they are in this world!
this made me so happy!! your parents seem like such nice people! my parents had very similar feelings about my transition.
So glad you have such wonderful parents and a wonderful partner. So much love. So much support. So inspiring x
Awww your so blessed to have such beautiful and caring parents!! This was a wonderful video 🙂
Thank you so much for making this video! I've come out to my mum and am still concerned about how she's dealing with the idea of having a son rather than a daughter (I want her to think of me as the same person, not that she's lost a daughter, since she's already lost a daughter before). I've not come out to my dad yet and I have no idea how he's going to react. This has given me a bit of confidence in telling him.
I would send this to my transphobic dad but he doesn't speak english
This is 5 years late but I'm in the exact same situation. Non english-speaking transphobic dad. And the stuff I found in our native language, he keeps saying it's the person's opinion that transgender people's pronouns and names have to be respected. He says he can accept that I "think" I'm trans, but doesn't have to consider me a girl since he doesn't see me as one.
Your parents are really special people, and I LOVE their Scottish accents. I wish you had the same accent, Jamie! Lol. This was really warm and uplifting.
this was so cute!! your parents are so sweet, and i love how positive they are ❤️
Your parents are adorable, and you clearly take after them in a whole lot of ways in terms of your personality. This was a good vid.
Lovely video! It's nice to watch a friendly people talk then see no negative comments. There is hope for the world after all!
Thank you and your parents for sharing!
Your parents are cute as hell! I love the way they talk about you it’s so refreshing ❤️
Such wonderful parents! So happy you've had their support and truly unconditional love. I wish all trans kids could have parents like yours. And also well done you for making sure to inform and include them throughout the whole process! I think many parents react negatively if they feel shut out and don't get a chance to be involved, I'm sure it's scary to see ones child go through major changes whatever they may be. Of course it's a two way street, but I think information leads to understanding more than not. Communication, as your mother put it. Adorable and heartwarming video, thank you for sharing your parents with us! :)
Thank you so much for making this video! I am going to show this to my mom when i come out
Awww, your Mum & Dad are so sweet. Hi Jamie's Mum & Dad (says in a very high voice with wild waving like a six year old, because they are just that nice and deserve it)!
Your parents are so cute! I'm really glad to see you have a supportive family... Best wishes to you guys 💕
SO CUTE. Love your parents. They seem like a really good pair to come out to. Concerned but encouraging and willing to listen.
I am so glad for you. I am so happy you have these wonderful people in your corner. :)
Your parents are lovely! And this video is so helpful. Thank you for making it and uploading it here. This will help me a lot. Still need to come out to my mother/parents before the end of this year and I'm preparing for it. Fingers crossed, please.
Well I hope that its gonna go well, I wish you good luck!
Deiru thanks!
The world needs more people like this.