I spent 13 years as a wife and 7 years as a stay-at-home mom. I adore being a mom, but I was deeply unfulfilled in my role as a "trad wife." When my ex-husband decided that we needed to divorce, I was left with nothing. He had 13 years of career development and I had to re-enter the workforce at the bottom. Being a housewife is a risk. You're completely dependent. You're basically another child. You have nothing of your own. Women have every right to choose that life, but they are put at a great disadvantage if anything comes up where they lose their "guardian." The husband has all of the power and all of the choice. I wouldn't recommend giving up your autonomy and leaving yourself at great risk of ending up with nothing if something goes wrong.
Absolutely! I’m so sorry you were put in that situation! I’m 1.5 years into being a stay at home mom. I stopped working at the beginning of the pandemic. We had our son July of 2021. I feel entirely stuck because we have zero family support and our son has sensory issues. So even if we found a daycare without a waiting list, I’m not sure he’d do well with so much going on. All that to say, we don’t have a choice other than me staying home. It’s infuriating that people like Classically Abby and her ilk advocate for women to stay home, yet doesn’t support policy measures that would encourage/enable families to do that or to support those who are in a similar situation to yourself. UGH!
"You're basically another child" and that is the point. Conservative men don't want adult partners. They want children who happen to know how to do housework. Conservatives are just pedos
Pretty much the same thing happened to my mum. After she kicked out my dad, she was left completely on her own. And since we had moved there when I was six, she was only ever known as "my dad's wife". Even in church, because my dad was a presbyter while she "only" did Sunday school. In the end, she took her maiden name again and moved back with my grandma to be around people who knew her as her own person, and just have the _chance_ of getting a job again.
That’s always been the point. Being financially dependent is one of the riskiest things to choose and always step 1 of abuse. Even if you want to be a stay at home spouse, you should have *something* - an online store, a UA-cam channel, a book in the works, a barely even part time job. Money is so important and if your spouse is -against- you having it yourself without giving it to you themselves, that’s a huge red flag.
She can keep her "classical" life while i pursue a career in engineering so my husband can be a stay at home husband and cultivate his love for history and politics. Happiness is what u make it
Having kids and being a trad-wife won’t make women feel fulfilled ❌🙅🏻♀️What will you ask? Learning rigorous calculus 👍 Ladies, let’s remember our three L’s. Not live, laugh, love, but logarithm, Laplace, and Lagrange ❤
@@fortunekader9121 "“Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.” - Robert Heinlein Of course, I don't actually believe that. The quote just amuses me. :-)
Same here .. I’m not at home but take care of most homework.. my wife is a senior finance manager in biotech and is the one pulling the economic weight in our relationship.. her wage is double mine.. guess what I could not care less… my masculinity is not in the ability to care for the family, that is a joint venture ❤
The thing is, she’s NOT a traditionalist or a stay-at-home mother. She’s turned herself into a brand. She’s a public figure and a UA-cam celebrity. She’s also a classically-trained singer, which she also capitalizes on. She’s not what she’s telling other women to do.
The Daily Wire MO is culture > politics. If they indoctrinate you into their culture/brand, you aren't supposed to question their motives, or why other women wouldn't want to be tradwives. Your culture is the best, and anyone who disagrees is simply stubborn and hasn't seen the error of their ways yet. You'll see the same behavior among uberfans of specific anime, or people who are super into body art or motorcycles. They simply can't comprehend why everyone doesn't like their "thing." The major difference being that DemonSlayer doesn't try to convince you to vote a specific way.
What's funny to me is that all of the "traditional" wives that I knew as a child encouraged me to go to school and get my educational so that I WOULDN'T have to depend on a man 🤔
So did all the ones I knew. My Oma was a housewife and even tho she has some pretty outdated ideas on other stuff, she’s always HEAVILY encouraged not depending on a man
Same here, for all my grandmother is racist and homophobic, she has also told me over and over again that I need to focus on my education so I can get a job that would provide for myself
And what kind of satisfaction is it to havw a woman to rely on you because she doesn't have another choice rather than have her rely on you because she trusts you?
My Grandmother encouraged my Mom to do that but the only problem is that she was pushing her in a direction that she didn't want to go. She took a business program and ended up dropping out of College. She really wanted to be a social worker to help people with their problems. She also met a bad man who she dated for five years putting our family through misery. She had to leave the Province to get rid of him.
70 years ago Abby wouldn't have been *allowed* to do half the things that give her life meaning, living in the sort of household she wants to live in. Infuriating, the lack of self-awareness, the gratitude she owes the last several hundred years of women's work liberating themselves :(
Watching this three months later I now realise that 70 years ago Abby could probably have gotten better audio quality. Goshdarnit woman, it sounds like you're recording in a Pringles can!
Yeah, it's funny how they always want their "traditions" to be isolated from everything they propped up and was built in conjunction with. She also apparently wants back to an age where marital rape isn't a thing a woman can seek legal justice for. And where union people are killed by police. And black people sit in the back of the bus. And so on, and so forth
Nazis were operating in south America, the Klan was 4 or 5 times stronger, police had lax accountability, the government started instituting gun control but only to target black people, the Korean War was poppin off, marines were freezing death fighting the Chinese, but Frank Sinatra was Killin it tho
Interestingly she doesn't seem to care much about consent in any other context with any other person hahaha but good on her and for her child. Like shaming someone for wanting and "making wrong choices" and is a kink, Abby, not a value. 😂
I am 66 years old. I have been the so called traditional wife, I have been the career wife and now I am the retired person. Still married to the same man that I started this journey with. Poor poor Abby! She has so much to learn. I just hope she doesn't crash and burn. I love you and your channel because you listen, you learn and you want to experience a rich life. This poor woman is going to be learning a lot things the hard way! Hopefully, she will see her hypocrisy and learn from it. I know woman like her though, who never learn, until things fall apart.
I really want to say to Abby that if she wants to live her classic life, to please give up her career and be the mother she wants to be. We don't need her to try to live a modern woman's life on the internet, making money as an influencer and worrying about audience engagement etc etc. She should go and dedicate all that time to her family, if she truly believes that is what makes her happy and have a purpose in life.
As a stay at home mom I want to make a few points 1. My husband works 60 hours a week at two jobs to keep us afloat and because of the price of daycare it would be counterproductive for me to work. All of my money I would make would go towards daycare and gas. 2. Being a stay at home mom is so lonely if you don’t build a connection with other people (usually moms) in similar circumstances to talk and spend time with. 3. If you are on the fence about wanting children then you should not have children. The kids deserve parents that are all in, not ones that have them out of obligation.
Completely agree, that last point should be made so much more!! Far too many people have kids because it seems like the thing to do or because they think of children as accessories, not human beings. It's so tragic.
My mom got me and my brother into daycare by working there. We were left alone as soon as my brother was old enough to read back the emergency numbers on the fridge. I also as a man worked at a church daycare. i did all I could to respect the parents, keep the kids safe and engage the kids. My mom eventually became a teacher in public school, and so when I say nobody is paid well to raise your kids, I really mean that.
100% agree with this especially the late point because sadly this idea of getting married & having children is drilled into children from a young age. I remember constantly being asked about how many children I wanted, what I'd name them, my ideal husband was, and my ideal wedding would be before I even knew that while I'm bi I'm more attracted to woman & don't know if I'll ever want children beyond my fur babies as it's something I would want to discuss with my future wife while we were still in the dating phase
Just wanted to point this out because towards the beginning of the video Emma said she has an aversion to wealth, and that she's sure that Abby and her husband worked super hard for what they have. No. They did not, both Abby and her husband were born into extreme wealth. She's never actually had to work a day in her life. So she got to spend all of her time simply following her dreams and figuring out what she wants out of life rather than having no access to decent school or jobs, and being forced to bust her ass 60 hrs a week to not even make enough to feed herself. Also the only reason her or her brother have the platforms they do is because their parents had enough resources to send them to elite private schools from preschool to graduate school. Then when Ben, and eventually Abby, got into media they had enough connections to convince far right billionaires to dump tens and tens of millions of dollars into their media ventures. That's where all of the funding for the Daily wire came from and where all of the funding for Abby's channel came from. Not saying it's impossible to see things like she does if you aren't born rich as hell. But it is definitely orders of magnitude less likely.
I'm all for people having the choice to stay at home, I'm not a fan of extreme woke ideas that belittle those choices. But it would be great to live in a society that was not so damn broken, divided and feral that poor are pitted against each other, where you didn't need everyone working their assets off just to keep a roof overhead. Where hate and corruption and tribalism wasn't the go to for all sides.
The ironic thing about “traditional women” being about women only being wives and mothers is that traditionally most women have worked in some way for pay or for trade, because they had to for survival, whether or not they were wives and mothers. All women being just wives and mothers was just a trend when the economy’s great, but most of the time it isn’t, and when women are expected to marry young and never divorce even if it’s a bad relationship.
Yeeeeerp, my grandma had to work because the allowance my grandpa gave her was not enough to pay for bills, food, the kids, school, etc. I don't know their financial situation to know if there was more money my grandpa didn't share, I can only speculate maybe yes as he was an alcoholic, so there was money for booze. This was during happiest time for women, 1950s, where they lived their life as just as housewives raising kids. Yet my grandma's situation was not uncommon for the time. Heck even in my parents age bracket (boomers) a stay at home wife getting an allowance and she had to make it work was common. If it wasn't enough they went without or she got a job. You are 100% right. The only people in history who were stay at home mothers were those who were rich enough to do so. And heck possibly rich enough for a nanny and servants to do the house cleaning and raising of kids. You can bet back in the medieval days most average women and children were working the farm as well, not chilling at home. Those who were stay at home mum's and didn't work would of starved in winter. For most people reality trumps ideology.
Exactly. The majority of women have worked. Having a "trophy" wife was a sign of wealth. (think on the Lotus Feet, or the long necks, the jewelry...is not useful for working). Only in the 50s, due to the appearance of the middle class and the invention of several machines that help to do the house chores, the housewives born. But even back then, poor women and women from less developed countries, needed to work. These guys live in a bubble.
This is so true. The closest woman in my family that wasn't a working women, was my great-grandmother. She was a servant before marrying ,and even after that, she did earn money with raising animals for selling. I wouldn't compare her to the type of "stay at home" women Abby is thinking about. It was very different back then.
My family has its own definition of tradition and its own definition of values. It looks like my paternal grandmother, who worked hard in a shoe factory to raise her son while her husband fought in WWII. It looks like my maternal grandmother, who worked hard to raise her daughters after her husband died young of a heart attack. It looks like my aunt, who worked hard to raise her sons while her husband was in Vietnam. It looks like my ma, who worked hard to raise my sister and I as a single mother because she refused to compromise her self worth, and wanted her kids to grow up valuing themselves too, even if it meant leaving behind the financial security of her adulterous husband. "Uncompromising bitch" has been the traditional role in this family for generations and it ain't stopping anytime soon.
This is the best comment. Maybe the best ever comment on this "issue", which is not an issue at all to anyone trying to live their lives. My family, too, is full of strong women who got the jobs done - and the men have not suffered from this.
Reminds me of Kaitlyn Bennet, who, no joke, walked up to a woman advocating women’s rights and told her that giving women rights hasn’t been good for America. She’s absolutely unhinged. Just because you’re willing to sign away your own rights & life choices doesn’t mean other people will or want to.
If the right wing women sincerely believed the shit they said, they would be letting their husbands do the talking and be fixing their hair or scrubbing a toilet instead.
It's easy to talk when her brother gets hundreds of millions from billionaires to spread conspiracy BS ... and tax cuts for rich . Ben Shapiro owns Daily Wire that tried to hire Crowder and owns Prager U , another jewish man vomiting out christian talking points . There is no organic reight wing channel in US , they have always been funded by billionaires , non of those could stand on their own legs .
When you realize you've been married longer than Abby has. . . Does that make me more of a pro on giving marriage advice? My advice is to not listen to Abby
I've been married for a while too. Here are some pro tips: 1) say thank you 2) say I love you 3) say I appreciate you 4) say I'm sorry Edited to fix an autocorrect mistake.
I am a 25 yr old RADICAL LEFTIST who's wife is a stay at home mom and have also been married longer. My advice as the husband of an apparent 'trad' wife is to not listen to Abby
I will literally only listen to my mother's advice on marriage because she and my father will celebrate 30 years of faithfulness, dedication, and love come September of this year. My mom's ultimate piece of advice? "You are under no obligation to get married if you don't want to."
It's kinda like how they think them refusing to respect people is them not having self-respect. They DO respect themselves, that's why they're not just buckling to your demands. It's honestly conservatives who don't respect themselves or anyone else to varying extents. If you think less of yourself or others based on how you look or what sexuality you have or anything else that doesn't really affect anyone morally... *You're the disrespectful one.* The more beliefs you have like that, the less respect you have over-all which includes the respect you have for yourself. Self-respect is how you feel about yourself, if you respect yourself regardless of if others decide to respect you then you're doing it right. 💯 They center their entire existence around simultaneously controlling and pleasing others, which contradict each other, and neither of those is really conducive to respect. Respect requires understanding people and how they work as well as accepting that. You can respect someone you don't necessarily like and not respect someone you think you like more than anyone else. And they want everyone to do the opposite of that. Which leads to abuse, because you're forcing most people into situations where they just can't win and punishing them for it while the ones who do "win" are really miserable and thus also punished. It's honestly ridiculous how many terms they misuse/misunderstand on like a fundamental level.
@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty yeah, absolutely, deliberate misunderstanding is a classic dishonest debate move that is a traditional political tool. They're much better at it than us, too. For example, "pro-life" was an anti war thing originally. "All lives matter" is a another good example of this deliberate perversion of catchy phrases and ideas for use against the idea's originator. "Think about the children" was ours too. "Thin blue line" is another one. That was about the vanishingly small distinction between the tactics of police and criminals. Of course They fail a lot too, because the right can't meme. "attack helicopter" is a notorious failed attempt. It fails cuz the people who use it don't understand the concepts they're mocking well enough to be funny so it only appeals to the already converted. That's usually how it works. Adam and Steve is one they stole from themselves that eventually failed for the same reason. "Defund the police"" was one of ours lol I kinda think modern conservatives come in several flavors. There are, as you mention, people pretending to be more confused than they are for persuasive, profit amassing, or power consolidating purposes. People like Tucker Carlson, who's famously buddies with Rachael Maddow, and has been caught numerous times admitting that he doesn't believe half of the shit he tells other people. There are plenty of these in government too, although less than there used to be. Then you have people who are simply bad people who've found acceptance and community and advancement in post conservative politics. Your Ben shapiros and matt walshs. Anti feminist Incels and certain notorious grifters are also in this category. And then you have a third group who honestly just don't have the cognitive capacity for projecting empathy. Understanding the struggles of others requires us to project ourselves into the shoes of others. To take several contiguous steps into an alternate mental reality. It's the same kind of intelligence needed to play chess well. Or dark souls. Some people simply do not have the ability to deliberately (never mind instinctively) project emotions and feel sympathy for others across time and space. Which ironically is what they say actually makes us distinct from other great apes, and most animals. We can communicate the suffering of long dead people just as we can the person's in front of us. Our even imaginary people. (Basically, other animals don't write fan fiction lol). People in this category are often your true believers. Marjory Taylor Green and Alex Jones types, as well as your average empty maga-hat who holds positions simply because he doesn't understand the arguments well enough to choose between them, and is either too proud to admit that, or too proud to change his mind once he's professed knowing that hes right and all his beliefs are true. After all, if he changed his mind, how would he show everyone that he's super smart and always right? He's too busy "winning" and "pwning the libs" to even consider changing. But amongst all these, there is also a class of conservative who is honestly trying to do what seems best to them. They often have an encroaching fear of irrelevance, whicht they don't have the tools to acknowledge and cope with. that fear gets amplified and weaponized by other types of conservatives. They don't know whats good information and what's bad information, so they pursue comfort instead of truth, usually without even noticing. Ironically, the belief that the world is falling apart in the ways they predicted and think they warned us about gives them a sense that they still matter in the world. That they have age or wisdom or experience that the world suffers without. "These damn kids and their _______". There were a surprisingly large number of these types who went to Washington on Jan 6. If you watch that footage carefully, you notice a number of people yelling against violence in cops, or trying to convince people to calm down and not be violent. The crowd shrunk substantially once it became clear that it was turning into an attempted coup, and a lot of the people who left were the ones who were misdirected into that movement by a quiet fear of irrelevance. These people can be saved. They can be taught. If they want to be. They're the folks who are anti LGBT until they realize their beloved grandson is gay and they can't just rely on cognitive dissonance to protect them from the cruel implications of their beliefs. They have to choose between themselves and their beliefs. They're afraid of change, so it takes big moments like this. Its what makes them susceptible to misinformation, and it's what makes them teachable. But If you can make them unafraid, you can help them change. If you watch enough of the interrogation footage of people who've been arrested for their part in jan 6, you notice all of those groups being represented in the suspects. Except one. The first kind. They don't take the heat. They hold the torch. That's your pie catcher right there lol
Especially the working class who has to see what children are like from a very early age, constantly cleaning up their messes before even having kids of our own, thinking about how tough it'll be to both work cleaning up other children's messes then coming home to clean up our own children's messes. Abby hasn't had to deal with any of that, she was born and raised into wealth and a higher class and hasn't had to work a day in her life. Ironically, I still think I want to have kids someday despite what I've just said. But yeah, I can totally see where others are coming from when they say "I don't want kids." And that's just from one angle. There are plenty of reasons not to want kids. It's why you gotta just let people be.
I just like to point out that yearning for "Classic Living" is pining for a past that never was, i.e. the 1950's of TV commercials and sitcoms not the real average experience of people living in that era. It's like being nostalgic about the 1990's of Friends or the 2010's of How I Met Your Mother, when we all lived such care free lives that we could spend every evening in a cafe/bar with our quirky friends. Yeah right.
Ben and Abby always struck me as the sort to say they like Classical music not because they enjoy it, but because of the status it infers on them - like people who would go to the opera just to be seen by other socialites. It's not about enjoyment, but distinguishing yourself from the people you perceive as being less refined than you are. That's what makes it hard to believe her when she says she isn't being judgmental - her whole "classic" doctrine is superficial, and needs something to compare itself to give it any value. In other words, she needs someone to judge as inferior in order for her status to have any worth. She isn't happy, but she's fine as long as she feels like she's better than someone else.
THISSSS ... 'classic' would be fine and lovely if not for the implied (and overt) comparison to anything 'modern' (specifically 'modern' women) like it's a derogatory/lesser/inferior quality or whatever.
Well. I love classical music but I do hate when people are snobby about it. Like, no one cares if you like Mozart dude. It doesn't necessarily make you smart or cultured. Especially if it means you're completely ignorant about the last 70 years of musical development to the point where you'd say something like, "Jazz is just a cheap derivative of classical music." Which is something Ben has said.
And an authoritarian mindset. I think that's part of the reason why Abby is so sure that she's right and that other people are wrong, which makes her comfortable presenting lies via strawman arguments and arse statistics, all the while glossing over her own hypocrisy. In the same way that some Christians believe that it's OK to lie in order to save souls for Jesus, Abby gives every appearance of believing that it's OK to lie to get the little people to do what's best for them in the properly-ordered world that she wants to conjure into existence (assuming the hateful feminazi wimmin don't cancel her first, of course).
The thing is that the "raised in a bubble where every family has a stay at home wife & mother" thing isn't even true for Abby. Her mom, also a religious Modern Orthodox woman, worked outside the home. Her brother Ben's wife is a doctor, as he loves to bring up. If anything, when you look at a lot of other Orthodox Jewish moms who create video content online, balancing busy careers & large families within the structures of a religious Jewish life is a common theme.
Very well said. When Abby was talking she kept giving me Serena Joy -handmaids tale vibes. Very much - " this systemic oppression is great for you but lol - not for me of course". Looking forward to hearing your take on part 2!
I'm right there with you Emma on the "fuck your rich ass" attitude. As far as I'm concerned you have nothing to be sorry about, I got just as heated about her shit as you did. I get so sick of hearing the "it's ok for me, but not for you" bullshit they love to throw around. I spent 20 years as a "christian" and I can certainly tell you I was a LOT more miserable living that way then any other time in my life.
Abby is one of the most polite versions of what a lot of conservatives subconsciously want, which is to submit to an authority figure. The trouble is that they'll never own up to it or realize it until the world they claim to want comes to pass, and by that point they'll be too powerless to stop it.
The bible is telling slaves to submit to their owners (1 Peter 2:18) so at least in this respect they are living "Christian values". Of course they paint "FREEDOM" in bigger letters on it to gaslight everybody around them.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the nice ones are the worst type. With the openly hostile ones, you at least know where you're at. Even more so if they're the foaming-at-the-mouth type. But people like Abby might lull you in a false sense of security and have some of their ideas slip past your guard.
@@rolfs2165 It's also easier to fight the frothing screaming, threatening types in the face and it's legit self defense. they are openly, honestly threatening you, which makes them much easier to deal with in ways, ironically, that make them the villain, by their own "stand your ground" morality :/ The velvet vipers kill you quietly and gently
The antebellum south relied heavily on the decorum of its southern belles of plantation aristocracy, which was only made possible by slavery. More people might choose to be stay at home parents if a single breadwinner household were more financially viable for larger swathes of the population. Despite being her own person, I doubt her channel would have gotten as big at the beginning if it weren't for the connection to her brother Ben. Her channel isn't based on her opera singing that the pandemic put on hold. It's based on being the kind of *traditionalist* her brother can point to as a positive example whenever he goes off on a tirade about gender roles. Reading between the lines, why can't you just be more like my sister you [expletive deleted]?!
Right. It's not all what it's cracked up to be. I happen to love my job, though. There are certain aspects that I do not like, sure...including the kind of lengthy commute. I'm not passionate about my job but I've had much much worse jobs. The other side of it is a lot of people (mostly men) being treated as merely a bank account by their girlfriends. So, it's kind of like a double-edged sword.
My mother lead pretty much a classical life raising 11 kids while dad worked. What that meant was ... recently a younger sister told me about being a child and walking away from the house with mom, because dad was hitting us again, and it was not a little bit of hitting. "Let's just keep walking and never go back," my sister told mom. "But I can not feed you on my own," mom wept. When the crying was under control, they went back. They had no choice. THAT is what the "classical life" can lead to.
She pretty obviously comes from privilege to have such a world view. But I don't see any hint at how hard their family worked to get where they are. There are probably(!!!) poor people who worked harder but had a worse outcome, but that doesn't negate potential hard work on their part. We have a problem with her making wild judgements based on other people having different world views, so we shouldn't do the same thing.
@@joachimschodershe and her brother have Hollywood parents, one who’s a movie composer and one who’s a TV producer. They both wanted to be famous in Hollywood (him as a screenwriter, her as a singer). Do you know how *ridiculously untalented* you have to be to not even reached nepo baby status?! 🤭 Also, hey there fellow vegan!
@@joachimschoder isn't it just as dumb to assume that they didn't work hard? Maybe you people should just stop assuming redundant shit all the time. You don't know and you can't know, so stfu what's the matter with you
What I can't stand about people like Abby is that although they say they are non-judgmental about women leading lifestyles different from theirs, they act like their way is the true way. (Note how Abby says she is promoting TRUE femininity.) So unless you are a Trad-wife, you are not truly feminine? I find that absurd.
Yeah. While I imagine that they act disingenuous to maybe lure women in, they can't seem to go beyond their essentialism because their worldview and agenda demands so. Most women either don't want or are capable of a traditionist way of life, so they have to reinforce platitudes and assume others are being corrupted.
I find it absurd that many feminists call women who want to be "traditional wives/mothers" various unflattering names, and telling them that they are wrong for making that choice.
Abby reminds me of my sister. "Traditional values." "Women should be subservient to men." Absolute hypocrite. It's so mind boggling to see in action, it's hard to describe.
You want me to uphold the idea that women should be subservient to men!? Well I'm a man, and I say you should stop posting stupid anti-feminist bullshit. Checkmate, Abby.
@honestrat03 You're right but it gets better. My sister isn't even a housewife. She went out and worked and her husband took care of the household stuff.
@@Explodington I'm starting to suspect why you have your name. My sister was also somewhat bizarre, in that she seemed like a Millie Tant, but my girlfriend heard her out in the garden, being sickeningly simpering towards a boyfriend, and called me over to listen. I couldn't take that and went off to do something else to take my mind off of it.
also, a traditional woman, just like children should be seen and not heard. she really should cancel her podcast and be faithful to her husband, father, or brother. I mean if she wants to be consistent with her traditional values
I am convinced Abby came up with her definition of "classic" entirely from Pinterest aesthetic boards and then just threw in her own religious/political views.
I would LOVE if Abby could extend her mandatory stay-at-home bliss to men. I'm a man and I'd love to live my life like Abby, being a stay at home parent, finding fulfillment outside of work. I have a hunch she wouldn't aprove of that though...
I'm a dad who is proud of the fact that my wife an I equally share the responsibility of kids, household and work. I wish, like you, Abby understands that forcing her worldview on women is also forcing it on their spouses. Sorry for responding 8 months later, but this is how triggered I got from watching this...
You don't spend your time "finding fullfillment" as a stay at home parent. You spend it cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids. It's lonely, boring, repetitive, unfullfilling, and just plain mind numbing.
I grew up in a fundi cult. My mom and I were shunned because she broke the cardinal rule and got a pixie cut. Everything trad and classic makes me nauseated and extremely angry that women like Abby judge women who want differently from her. She's also disillusioned when she glorifies the past. Women suffered and were property of men and sex objects. Nothing more. Hysteria wasn't only treated with pills but was raped by their doctors who assured them that it was for their own good and made them relax afterwards. Going to stop my rant. I'll just get more pissed off if I continue.
Honestly i don't understand women that fantasize about living in the 'good old days' where we were raped, abused, institutionalized, drugged, lobotomized, exploited, and unalived regularly and without consequence.
It starts on page 1 of the tanakh. Adam is made in the image of the jewish god. Adam is made directly from dirt. The name Adam appears right away. It is much later on that the j god says, this is not good, Adam is too lonely, I am going to make a helper for him. So, the reason for the existence of women is a passtime for Adam, or a helper for Adam. We could ask the question, If Adam wants a friend or someone to work with him, couldn’t the j god make more men? If the j god is omniscient, wouldn’t he already know that he needs to make many Adams in parallel? If I can ask these questions, so could anyone. So could the j people from 3000 y ago. The goal of Genesis is not for providing deep explanations. Their goal is not for explaining biology, cosmology, etc. to us. The goal was to give a quick rundown of what their god did which isn’t anything special. Any idiot can do that. They also made sure to give us details as to the value of women in j society. This tells us about the psychology of the people who wrote those lines. They also made sure to tell us that the woman (Eve) is made of a piece of Adam. The reason for this is ownership. I own my hair, even if I cut it off. I own my fingernail even when I cut it off. I own my finger even when I....... Also, it is a bunch of lines later that the name of the woman appears. Well thank for you for finally telling us her name!
@@louistournas120 Actually you're wrong. The term helpmeet in Hebrew is not "helper" in English. It's actually closer to being selfless and heroic. Someone who will protect others. The value of women in the Masoretic texts is far different to what modern christianity teaches. “According to biblical scholar David Freedman, the Hebrew word translated into English as “help” is ezer. This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue”, “to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.” Just as the roots merged into one word, so did their meanings. At first ezer meant either “to save” or “to be strong,” but in time, said Freedman, ezer “ was always interpreted as ‘to help’ a mixture of both nuances.” Diana Webb in her book Forgotten Women of God also clarifies this word by explaining, “The noun ezer occurs 21 times in the Hebrew Bible. In eight of these instances the word means “savior”. These examples are easy to identify because they are associated with other expressions of deliverance or saving. Elsewhere in the Bible, the root ezer means “strength…. the word is most frequently used to describe how God is an ezer to man.“ She goes on to say; "Neged, a related word which means “against”, was one of the first words I learned in Hebrew. I thought it was very strange that God would create a companion for Adam that was “against” him! Later, I learned that kenegdo could also mean “in front of” or “opposite.” This still didn’t help much. Finally I heard it explained as being “exactly corresponding to,” like when you look at yourself in a mirror.” So what Eve is, is the mirror opposite of Adam. She had complimentary but no less important qualities, responsibilities and attributes. I think Beverly Campbell has a great take on this; “Thus, it seems that through imprecise translation, our understanding of the powerful words used originally to describe Eve’s role have been diminished. As a result, our understanding or Mother Eve has also been diminished. Suppose we had all, male and female alike, been taught to understand Genesis 2:18 as something like the following, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a companion of strength and power who has a saving power and is equal with him.”
@@nightshade7240 I have just one question for you. Do you find that the Bible is misogynistic or do you find that women just have a different role to play than men?
@@nightshade7240 Your post is just gaslighting. Eve was both the second born and literally from adam. In biblical times if you were not the first born you got basically none of your inheritance, and children (someone who comes from your body) have basically no rights and have to listen to the parent. its just a stupid misogynistic story made up by stupid misogynistic men thousands of years ago. Trying to pretend the bible isnt misogynistic from start to finish is just BS. I mean, one of the punishments of getting kicked out of the garden was women to have pain during childbirth , you cant come up with a stupider, misogynistic punishment if you tried.
The more I hear about trad-fem-tubers, the more I realise that Serena Waterford writing a book that ends up having the desired effect of creating the society where she is not even allowed to read is scarily accurate...
Personally, I think Emma's title for Abby's first podcast episode is more accurate. IIRC, Abby was very upset when Harry Styles wore a dress, and she dismissed the people saying men used to wear wigs and high heels and makeup by saying men don't do that now. So basically... traditional/classic living means whatever these folks want it to mean in that moment. 16:42 Abby prefers the term 'stupid'. :) I'm pretty sure Abby is angling to become the 21st century's Phyllis Schlafly.
Spot on. Funny how that works ain't it! Conservatives long for the halcyon days and imho, Classic = Traditional = 1950s for them. Which means that one should also be subjected to polio and smallpox and no internet for the full trad lifestyle. The Shapiros are more than welcome to start that "classical" lifestyle going.
"Men wearing suits and ties is unmasculine. Culturally, those roles are filled by women, men should wear dresses and stay in the kitchen" There, have that, because why not
As a 41 year old man (and I only say that to highlight what a different demography I'm from) I absolutely resonate with your anger and frustration, keep doing what you're doing :)
One of my biggest gripes with Abby's message, is that it's unattainable for so many families, even if they wanted to live like this. I don't know anyone who can support a spouse and child on a single income, right now.
I would not be surprised if Abby resents not being allowed to follow her opera career and has to convince herself and others that this life forced on her is actually the true best thing that makes her happy.
When she brought it up, my thought was "it all makes so much sense now". I realized I was looking at a woman desperately trying to justify giving up a career she liked.
That’s what religion does. When you are raised in a strictly religious or conservative home, especially as a young girl, you are told what you are supposed to be and who you are and that you simply must accept it. I’m sure she is extremely unhappy in her life, and that is why deep down I feel bad for people like Abby.
@@fart63 Yeah when said dogma comes with security and wealth. You have to hold the L and go with it that's how and why some family are extremely wealthy. Since lost comes with gain
It’s so gross that Abby’s idea of supporting women is to gaslight them into thinking that the choices she made are the only choices that can make a woman happy. Ask Betty Friedan how that works out.
That's just classic narcissistic personality tendencies/disorder line of thinking. ''i don't think I am always right ofc, no-one is, humans aren't perfect. I'm just misunderstood all the the time'' Aka *I DO infact subconsciously, think I am always right and know the truth. I think I'm being misunderstood, that you don't understand what I am saying, bc if you did, you would agree with me.* So actually when it comes down to this : "I always think there is my way and the wrong way. I can't consciously admit to that however bc I know irl thats unacceptable and I can't justify it myself/ accept that I'm this self centered'' A therapist tried to explain this to my mom. She has borderline personality disorder and Narcissistic tendencies. Didn't work ofc, statistically only 4% of narcissists change. Bc they aren't interested in changing, they come to therapy so the therapist will understand their poor misunderstood self and explain to all the other plebs how right they are lol. Made feel validated felt pretty good.
Ya that's what I hate most about right wing rhetoric. They act like their way of life is being taken away just because someone else is wanting to live a different way. If you have traditional values and want to live a traditional western life go and do it. No one is wanting to stop women from being stay at home moms or forcing people to get gay married or get abortions. If you choose that's not the right path for you then that's great! But why do you want to then stop everyone else from going their own path too.
Yes. Exactly the same way the manosphere everywhere now does a great disservice to everyone. It's bad and sad when ANYONE can just v0m1t on the net and be called "right" or a "genius", while also making tons of profit off of these people.....
Or the fact roles can be traded. My aunt is a director and owner of a high school. My uncle, her husband, is a stay at home dad. He never wanted to work, but he built half their house by himself instead. They had the finances to do it, so why not. However if it had to be reversed, they'd be less financially fortunate which makes no sense at all.
among everything that is wrong with this podcast, it sticks in my craw that women like Abby and Mrs Midwest have NO IDEA how privileged they are to be able to stay in their big beautiful houses with their children and do exactly as they please. Also, if your whole sense of self is wrapped up in being a mother, what happens when the kids leave? Finally, being a strong woman is a great example for your kids.
63% of women without children said they had no desire to have a child according to The Institute for Family Studies. So, yes, she pulled that 1-2% out of thin air. Also, great channel, very informative and very entertaining.
2/3rds of childless women are lying and coping. That's like saying '2/3rds of incels have no desire to have sex' If so, then why make fun of them for it? Hypocrite.
On the topic of kids. I was involved in a large research study on family planning. I cannot reveal specific details about this research project it is because it hasn't been published yet. In that specific "country" or "region", roughly 16% of people didn't want to have kids, and there was no statistically significant difference between the two genders. Many people talk about the financial factor playing a role in such decisions, but that specific study revealed smth else. While finances sure played a role, that wasn't the main reason! The main reason was literally people being happy with the amount (or lackthereof) of children they had! That's it! Simply not wanting children is a good enough reason on its own. I know this is just one unnamed research project, but you can find comparable results across many, many other studies.
This is really dark. Like Abby's perspective is literally why abuse is so common, especially in Conservative spaces. It cuts women off from outside support, it cuts them off from money and income, it makes the reliant on a single figure, usually their father than their husband. And then they are made to feel everything is their fault in the home that perpetuates a cycle of abuse and why it can take so long to leave abusers. I've heard stories of small towns where women can't speak out against known community abusers because they are made to feel it is their fault for disrupting the community, NOT the abuser. A lot comes down to money and independence and a their community and its sad many Conservative women cling to that
As a mid forties woman, I never believed I wanted kids, still don't as it turns out. Nothing in society teaches you that you won't want to, women who choose not to have kids are regularly challenged on when you are going to have kids. I just assumed if I changed my mind when older I would adopt. A bit casual about the options but better than having a kid incase. I have been happy with my life broadly but have struggled to find a work environment that I liked. However I think I have now but all those stressful work places have informed my knowledge making my current job manageable and not stressful.
Honestly, I think Abby hit the heart of it right at 44:17 when she said "all the things that make you feel good about yourself" (i.e. living "classically") bc she's so entrenched in a culture that so intensely expects her to be a mom/homemaker/"good" woman. She's internalized this so much that it's the only thing that makes her "feel good about herself" bc then she gets external praise from the misogynistic/conservative men in her life that benefit from her defining herself based on what she can provide for them
It’s giving that scene from the hands made tale where they ask the blue dress villain lady “why did you fight for a world where women can’t read your book?”
Thank you for mentioning that most women cannot afford to stay at home. I am a feminist and my choice (if I could afford it) would be to be a housewife/SAHM. So many anti-feminists complain about women not staying at home but I’m sure there’s a lot of us who would if we financially could!
Welp, I'd be a... Eh... Sahd? Sahd isn't great. Sahp. Also not great. Sahf... Alright, screw that, I'd love be to be a stay at home dad and never ever ever spend time making money for other people ever again. But you know, that just ain't going to happen.
@thomaswikstrand8397 Well to be fair, you don't have to make money for other people. You always have the option of not getting married and not having kids. Do you realize that? 🤔
I wonder how she responds to women that can’t stay home with the kids. I was a sahm for a year and it was really bad for my mental health. I’m a working mom now and I’m so much healthier and happier. I also now work for a health department working on improving the overall health of the city. I find a lot of purpose in that as well as being a mother.
I wish everyone actually had a choice. I know far too many women who either want to stay home, but cannot financially. Or women who want to work but cannot because they don’t have childcare/family support/money for childcare (like myself). The people who advocate for women staying home, don’t actually support policies that would allow families to make choices based on what was really best for them and not what finances dictate.
Oh no, you aren't actually happy! You've just been brainwashed by the feminist agenda into *thinking* you're happy 😟 Listen to Abby. She knows what's best. /s
@@ocarstens6045 THIS. If Abby wants women to be able to do what she says, first we have to be able to afford it. But that doesn't mean we should be forced into those rolls, either. Abby needs to learn some damned empathy for other people's choices.
I'm someone who wants to be a stay at home parent, but I hear your experience with it quite often. What about being a sahm was bad for you? Are there any pitfalls to avoid?
Quantum Abby is in superposition. She's a woman so has the same lack of rights she attributes to other women, but also has rights to tell everyone how to live. It's very mysterious and physicists are confused about how any of it is supposed to work.
"I'm for traditional values." "Which traditions? Late medieval French? Victorian England? 8th century Danish?" "No, silly. AMERICAN traditions." "OK, so like slavery?" "No, more 1950s and 60s." "OK, so you want segregated drinking fountains, the draft, and no internet." "No no, more sugar-coated. Like Donna Reed, which I saw on Nick at Night in my jammies when I was five. You know, women in dresses baking pies. That sort of thing." "So you want something that only existed in some old sitcom." "It sounds stupid the way YOU say it."
The frustrating thing about people like Abby is that they genuinely believe that suffering is paramount to this life. So if you say you don’t want children cuz of trauma or for financial reasons they believe that is not a good “excuse” children need to be born regardless of any circumstances because just by virtue of them being in the world (traumatic upbringing or not) the world will magically become a better place. As a woman who is childless and plans to keep it that way, I can’t imagine having to raise a child, its just not something I want but I wish the best for those who do want it. I feel like there is a deep psychological explanation somewhere for why these kinds of people need EVERYONE to be the same. Or maybe its not that deep but I can’t put my finger on the insistence that we all live the exact way as one another. Bizarre and angering.
I absolutely agree. There's a world of difference between "I like to live this way, here's some advice if you want to as well," and "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that." She's definitely being not only judgmental, but elitist and exclusionary to boot.
@@queenmotherhane4374 - Grossly exclusionary too. While excluding lesbians and transwomen from the equation might fall under conservatism, her "ideal" womanhood also excludes infertile women, women who are too high-risk to safely bear children, and pretty much anyone who can't live the way she describes. Extreme tunnel vision created from a place of privilege and good fortune.
R ppl saying "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that,"? Did Abby express "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that,"?
I grew up Mormon - it is heavily implied from an early age that you are not fulfilling your life’s purpose if you don’t have a family one day. When I was about 14, I consciously started thinking - I don’t look forward to having a family at all. I had no desire for that, no matter how much they told me that’s what my purpose was, no matter how many hours were dedicated to shaping me into being a good mother and wife… I’m 28 now. I have no kids, no husband. I followed my own dreams and I’m very happy I made the decisions I did to not live a “traditional” life. I’m very happy for her that she has found something she’s passionate about, something that gives her life meaning every day. But she needs to understand that everybody wants something different. Happiness means something different to everybody. Thinking your way is the right way is very shortsighted. I am guilty of criticizing others for their choices myself, but it’s important to remember that we do not know what is best for others. Anything we offer to others as far as life advice goes is just that - advice. And it might not be right for everybody.
To be fair, it's not just being "mormon" that brings that expectation. It's been a general society thing for a long time - still is for some people. I felt that pressure myself even Before I became a latter-day saint. And, speaking as a LDS - I absolutely support your choice.
The world will be a better place when the truth comes out that Abby's having an affair with the pool boy and Ben dresses in drag and goes to night clubs on the Sabbath.
Women are more anxious and getting diagnosed more because being a woman is effing hard, Abby! I will never know the struggle myself, but having grown up around women my entire life and seeing the struggles they go through on a constant daily basis I can't be surprised that women and AFAB folks have anxiety on the regular.
My grandmother lived a very "classic" life as a stay-at-home mother in a good-income household in the 60s and 70s. She was dosed up on mogadon the extent that she spent a third of the day asleep.
"I know that classical living makes people happier" uh. No. I'd have to quell so many parts of who I am. Not to mention that, much as I love my niblings, I don't want to have kids. It sounds like almost a nightmare to me.
Yeah not everyone should have kids, those who do really want to be parents and love their kids, good for them! But I definitely don't want kids and if I had them just because I felt like I had to I'd probably be a really bad parent
Being like her wouldnt make me sad: it would 2000% makes me depressed and would 0ff myself. It is truly digusting what Abby farts out of her mouth. Anyone with at least one working brain cell should be able to see right away through her weak BS..... H o p e f u l l y.....
@@bookshelfhoney I can't conceive women actually believing delusions like Abby's. It doesnt make the slightest sense to be happy of being stripped of all your hobbies, skills, intellect, choices etc, only to return to being a slave, everything so many women fought against for so long. (Still does in so many countries), yet there she is, spitting on years of efforts and trying to brainwash women at returning to "back then". Anyone beliving in her blatant BS has to be brain damaged....
Exactly. I can almost guarantee she does not support any economic policies that would at least help women to afford to not work and stay at home raising multiple kids.
My wife is a stay at home mom, and she really enjoys getting to spend that much time with our children, she is also supportive of the women in our lives that are single and succesful career people
Abby (around the 16:40 mark): I don’t think women who don’t live like me are dumb Also Abby (in a previous video): having premarital sex is dumb! (Literally the word she used)
Jokes on Abby, I've been depressed and anxious since childhood. It's an inbalance of stuff. Also, I'm infertile! heyyoooo I tried to be a mom and that didn't happen. Know what makes me happy? Being an artist and sharing the house stuff with my husband and taking care of my animals. And being very very feminist and kinda pagan. And the thing is, my husband is the one working a full job, but he does so from home, so it really feels like we are just both at home being all chill. I love it. What we are are hermits.
I kind of want to do a beat-for-beat remake of this video, except replace all instances of 'being a wife and mother' with 'playing Dungeons and Dragons', because it would make about as much sense.
I know this is going to sound really bad, but I had to push really hard the idea of getting a job to my mom, she had nothing and depended deeply in my father and he is a horrible person, and she was that way because people pushed her all her life that that was what she was supposed to do, be a housewife. I’m glad she listened to me and I’m really happy that she is starting to speak up for herself. I love her so much and I had to see everyday the control my father had on her, it was really sickening. I’m scared of what will happen when I move out tho
I love how you called out her hypocrisy by pointing out that she’s rejecting the concept of modern femininity by… literally running her own business and having her own income?? Rules for me, but not for thee, apparently. What a joke.
@@snowqueen51 What about women who becomes nun’s and chose a life of celibacy and obtained from having kids, are they not happy or fulfilled? Or does Abby get to tell them what happiness is?
She makes up that 1-2 % and immediately switches from "women who don't want children" to "women who don't want to marry and don't want children". Those two are not dependend on each other. There is enough people in committed heterosexual relationships who don't want children.
I was watching a documentary the other day about a bunch of Amish type folk, and the older more conservative members of their village were all worked up about "all these young'uns forgetting the traditions and using modern things... like tires on their wheelbarrows!" Seriously, I kid you not.
I think you are equating being a smol with being calm. Emma is not calm here. Emma is fucking mad as hell. Like there are only 2 other people on earth who make her this mad. And its always so great. "you cow... NiNty NiNe PER CENT" is not a calm emma. that emma will fucking eat you alive.
I did the stay at home mother thing, and it was terrible for my mental health. I was much happier when I was working part-time. The narrow thinking of "you have to do what I do to be happy" just annoys me no end. Their inability to understand that other people like different things and want different things just boggles my mind. Just because I like pink and you like green doesn't mean that either of us is wrong. We're just different.
Indeed! In my career I've known several women who tried out being a full time stay at home parent but found it very isolating (not to mention the hit their household took financially with only one parent working) and went back to work at least on a part time basis. One woman from my first job really loved her part time work since it allowed her to take care of their home and her young daughter on some days, but also earn some money and have some grown-up interaction on other days. I work full time and I do love my job, but I've often wished I could do part-time hours like she did! If only to get more home projects done :)
I love your honesty of “I’m going to skip this because I’m jealous,” growing up religious I used to beat myself up for committing the sin of jealousy but acknowledging where it comes from and embracing it isn’t something I’m really familiar with. A small part of the video but that really helps me tbh ty
It must be nice to talk about how being a housewife/stay at home mom is the way all women should live, from the comfort of her view of the pool. Let set aside for a second the fact that what makes one person happy won’t make everyone happy. Who is she to tell women how to live, when for many, her way is literally impossible. So not only is she judgy, she also makes woman who want to live that way but can’t feel like shit and a failure.
What I dislike most about anti feminists is their notion that feminism does not care about men’s issues and that is far from true. Academic feminists are very much concerned about issues involving stay at home dads and mental health issues surrounding that, toxic masculinity, incels etc.
I follow a UA-cam channel called Frum It Up, by a Sephardic Orthodox wife and mother who works full time as a doctor. She gives a lot of detail about Orthodox Jewish life, including cooking, fashion, religious observance, and work-life balance. There is absolutely *zero* judgmental commentary, and she comes across as kind, warm, and supportive.
Oh man, I just popped over to her channel and enjoyed watching a wholesome video about how to set up a hot cocoa bar with stuff from Dollar Tree. 10/10 good recommendation!
I lived with an older male family friend when I was 18 (he's like a grandfather figure to me) and I've always been a very straightforward person myself, so when he started with the whole "grandchildren" conversation as a joke "now you're grown up you'll be having a family of your own soon" type stuff, I was honest and said "nah that's not for me. Maybe some plant children?" He same the same spiel that Abby did, but in his own way. "When i was a boy, all the women around me were happy as sah mothers, my friends mothers and my aunties etc. These days women aren't as happy because they can't stay at home and be mothers anymore." My reply was "You think the adult women around you would have burdened you as a child, with their problems? Isn't it more likely they were putting on a face for their son's friends? And i bet some of them worked in addition to all the labour they did at home." And he didn't know what to say lol. Personally I've always been childfree. Since puberty hit me and I realised it was a possibility, kids were something I've never wanted to have in any capacity whatsoever. I don't care if Abby thinks it's selfish, it's inherently a part of me and always has been. Personally, it was easier for me to work that question out than my sexuality lol. I would have been miserable and definitely medicated if I was forced into birthing a child. Probably wouldn't have perservered with life for very long if I'm being honest. People just need to mind their own business and let live. If someone wants to be a sahm or elements of "classical" life that's great for them. If they want and choose freely the full Abby sahm religious servant to husband life, that's great for them. None of those things are a fit for me and plenty of others. Just leave me to be a single, childfree, atheist, with my plants and my hobbies, in peace and quiet (while occasionally dabbling in casual relationships when i can withstand the dramatics of other people). And leave others to make their own choices about their own lives. I wouldn't force my lifestyle on anyone bc I know that what works for me isn't a universal fit for all.
I had just taken a required etiquette class where the person was injecting their sexist standards. I felt super uncomfortable and felt like I was the only one to see how problematic it was. This made me feel less alone. Thank you.
Also abbys talk about 1-2% of woman not wanting children really ignores people who can't have children. I feel like the whole "you need to be a baby making machine to be happy" mentally just reads as ableism.
A comment further up says that around 62% of women without children don't want them, which doesn't sound much like her 1-2% stat to me. But yes, Abby's views on this are problematic regardless.
I'm with you Emma about the Pool. I have family members who have worked really hard to get where they are in life and I appreciate that... but... when they tell me about all their new stuff and what a struggle it was to decorate again, I imagine their house burning to the ground to get through it. My excuse is that they don't stop to think about me living at my brother's place because I lost my job and flat. 😬☺ x Understand that I still love my family ♥
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that! I hate the narrative that people are just “jealous”. I don’t think anyone successful should hide it as to not offend those struggling. But goddamn, READ THE ROOM. It’s crazy to me.
Abby is also very clearly privileged and grew up that way so it wouldn't surprise me if you just cannot understand how people literally can't live like her.
@@RideAcrossTheRiver Raising a family without any true worries about financing is infinitely easier/more privileged than someone who knows they will have to balance work life with home life, and maintain a strict budget just to get by. She's growing a garden in a temperate climate; most people live closer to the desert.
@@adams.1404 Rich and educated people are the least likely to raise children. In a country such as Canada, once the general populace became university educated and wealthier, around 1960, the birth rate literally stopped and immigration took over.
@@RideAcrossTheRiver It's not about 'raising a family'. It's about the ability to stick to gender roles and make it work. The reality is, most families cannot financially survive that way. The privilege lays in how she raises a family. Not the fact that she does.
@@hagelslag9312 " the ability to stick to gender roles and make it work" What are you talking about? "privilege lays in how she raises a family" Again, what are you talking about? The fact is that rich and educated people are _least likely_ to have children.
I was raised in a very strict mormon home. I was raised to believe that I had no reason to go out into the world and learn and work or anything. I was taught that my own value stemmed from getting married to a man and making babies. I really appreciate your videos because I'm learning how to be an individual. And I'm trying to feel okay with being a woman and having goals, aspirations, and desires of my own. It's very toxic teaching our daughters that they have no value in the workplace, just make babies.
Kudos to Abby for not making her son be the focus of social media, without his permission. DId she also waive/ postpone his circumcision until he decides for himself ????
@@krybling she almost certainly did. Being it's important in the Jewish religion When I thought you were asking me my opinion. I don't. Evidence isn't really there to say that it is medically important. If you as an adult want to get it more power to you
@@sherlockwho5714 i met jewish people , none of them being fan of circumcision so im a bit skeptic when reading a random comment by someone know it all
One of the first conversations my partner and I had before deciding to begin our relationship was if she wanted to get married or have kids, for her it was a strong no to both. For me having kids is a strong no and marriage has always been 'I don't care' if my partner wanted it I would if not then no need, personally I just think it's an expensive party.
Yeah, marriage is perhaps the biggest imposition that religion has over modern society imo. I don't need to drop thousands to tens of thousands of dollars for a ceremony to vow to be with someone "till death do us part" (but not really; you can pay loads of money to annull it if you change your mind)
Not gonna lie, Emma being this spicey is really awesome. I get that this must be frustrating and infuriating for her, but seeing her tackling Abby with actual facts and statistics is making me so happy! I have two soon to be 16 year olds and I love them to bits. However I also know I don't more and being single suits me so much better. I hope you'll get some rest before the next one Emma! Have a lovely rest of the weekend!
My father finished his 20 years in the army when I was 5. We moved to QLD. Mum had left the workforce to look after my brother and I. She still did things to earn money. Junk mail delivery and the like. They basically decided to see who got a job first and that person would be the main bread winner. Subsequently my father was the at home parent when I was growing up. Which was an unusual thing on the 90s. I think mum was more fulfilled working. Though qualification wise she had to start at the beginning again and work her way back up. Dad had already had a career and fully embraced his role as Mr Mum. There is no one size fits all.
38:11 - Emma dear, omg. I had to stop and laugh a bit. I don't think I've even heard that on the internet in all my years XD Literally laughing and crying. Thank you. I just got an ad for manifesting things. Apparently Noah manifested the Ark - where do these people come from? Lol
Mr. Baby is indeed a hilarious nickname & I really respect that she doesn’t show her child online. I wish more online figures did that. What I don’t like is her (& many other UA-camrs like her) judgy “my ideals are the right way” narrative
I doubt Abby had to kill chickens like my traditional grandmothers. One grandmother, when she had guests, had to go to the chicken pen, grab a bird, chop off its head, pluck it, and prepare it. I can’t picture Abby doing this.
Nah, the true traditional lifestyle is living in a cave and collecting berries and making fires while the men go to hunt deer and rabbits. If you have time between cooking, looking after a baby and constructing clothes from animal skin, you might be able to do some drawings on a cave wall!
I hate that there's anything about Classically Abby that I respect, but it's honestly great that she doesn't capitalize off of her child. I wish she could fínd a way to respect other adults the way she respects her child.
I’m a SAHM of 5 and I truly love it. It’s frustrating but fulfilling for me at the same time. That being said, I never thought I’d be a SAHM. It just happened to work out that way and I’m grateful it did. I started staying home after baby number 2 in 2016 because daycare was too expensive and my job barely covered the cost of childcare for the month so there was literally no point to me having a job. But just because this works for me and my life doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Do what works for you and your family, why is that such a hard thing for people to accept? Why do we always feel the need to micromanage women’s lives?
I spent 13 years as a wife and 7 years as a stay-at-home mom. I adore being a mom, but I was deeply unfulfilled in my role as a "trad wife." When my ex-husband decided that we needed to divorce, I was left with nothing. He had 13 years of career development and I had to re-enter the workforce at the bottom. Being a housewife is a risk. You're completely dependent. You're basically another child. You have nothing of your own. Women have every right to choose that life, but they are put at a great disadvantage if anything comes up where they lose their "guardian." The husband has all of the power and all of the choice. I wouldn't recommend giving up your autonomy and leaving yourself at great risk of ending up with nothing if something goes wrong.
Absolutely! I’m so sorry you were put in that situation!
I’m 1.5 years into being a stay at home mom. I stopped working at the beginning of the pandemic. We had our son July of 2021. I feel entirely stuck because we have zero family support and our son has sensory issues. So even if we found a daycare without a waiting list, I’m not sure he’d do well with so much going on. All that to say, we don’t have a choice other than me staying home. It’s infuriating that people like Classically Abby and her ilk advocate for women to stay home, yet doesn’t support policy measures that would encourage/enable families to do that or to support those who are in a similar situation to yourself. UGH!
"You're basically another child" and that is the point. Conservative men don't want adult partners. They want children who happen to know how to do housework. Conservatives are just pedos
Pretty much the same thing happened to my mum. After she kicked out my dad, she was left completely on her own. And since we had moved there when I was six, she was only ever known as "my dad's wife". Even in church, because my dad was a presbyter while she "only" did Sunday school. In the end, she took her maiden name again and moved back with my grandma to be around people who knew her as her own person, and just have the _chance_ of getting a job again.
That’s always been the point. Being financially dependent is one of the riskiest things to choose and always step 1 of abuse. Even if you want to be a stay at home spouse, you should have *something* - an online store, a UA-cam channel, a book in the works, a barely even part time job. Money is so important and if your spouse is -against- you having it yourself without giving it to you themselves, that’s a huge red flag.
Its control
She can keep her "classical" life while i pursue a career in engineering so my husband can be a stay at home husband and cultivate his love for history and politics. Happiness is what u make it
Having kids and being a trad-wife won’t make women feel fulfilled ❌🙅🏻♀️What will you ask? Learning rigorous calculus 👍 Ladies, let’s remember our three L’s. Not live, laugh, love, but logarithm, Laplace, and Lagrange ❤
@@fortunekader9121 "There's just one thing I don't understand."
"Is it a logarithm?"
"No, it's NOT a logarithm."
"What, you understand logarithms?"
almost makes me want to go back to being a boy in hopes of becoming a husband like him
@@fortunekader9121 "“Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.” - Robert Heinlein
Of course, I don't actually believe that. The quote just amuses me. :-)
Same here .. I’m not at home but take care of most homework.. my wife is a senior finance manager in biotech and is the one pulling the economic weight in our relationship.. her wage is double mine.. guess what I could not care less… my masculinity is not in the ability to care for the family, that is a joint venture ❤
The thing is, she’s NOT a traditionalist or a stay-at-home mother. She’s turned herself into a brand. She’s a public figure and a UA-cam celebrity. She’s also a classically-trained singer, which she also capitalizes on. She’s not what she’s telling other women to do.
Yeah, my first thought was, "Did your husband say it was alright for you to start your own business?"
Oh… So a hypocrite?
@@LeahIsHereNow Like most conservatives
The Daily Wire MO is culture > politics. If they indoctrinate you into their culture/brand, you aren't supposed to question their motives, or why other women wouldn't want to be tradwives. Your culture is the best, and anyone who disagrees is simply stubborn and hasn't seen the error of their ways yet. You'll see the same behavior among uberfans of specific anime, or people who are super into body art or motorcycles. They simply can't comprehend why everyone doesn't like their "thing." The major difference being that DemonSlayer doesn't try to convince you to vote a specific way.
@@LeahIsHereNowA tipycal christian nut case.
Really boils down to "If you give women the choice, they'll choose poorly" and if that's not condescending af, I don't know what is.
It’s a very oppressive and dangerous dog-whistle.
Nailed it.
Despite the fact that Abby CHOSE to end her career in opera to focus on her family. She can make the right choices, but YOU can't!
Yeah, Weird considering she made the choice she made.
@Zaprozhan She doesn't focus on her family in the sense she talks about it.
She is running a televangelistic buisiness.
What's funny to me is that all of the "traditional" wives that I knew as a child encouraged me to go to school and get my educational so that I WOULDN'T have to depend on a man 🤔
So did all the ones I knew. My Oma was a housewife and even tho she has some pretty outdated ideas on other stuff, she’s always HEAVILY encouraged not depending on a man
Same here, for all my grandmother is racist and homophobic, she has also told me over and over again that I need to focus on my education so I can get a job that would provide for myself
And what kind of satisfaction is it to havw a woman to rely on you because she doesn't have another choice rather than have her rely on you because she trusts you?
My Grandmother encouraged my Mom to do that but the only problem is that she was pushing her in a direction that she didn't want to go. She took a business program and ended up dropping out of College. She really wanted to be a social worker to help people with their problems. She also met a bad man who she dated for five years putting our family through misery. She had to leave the Province to get rid of him.
@saynotohookups respectfully, your mother was a grown woman who could've made any decision she wanted to.
70 years ago Abby wouldn't have been *allowed* to do half the things that give her life meaning, living in the sort of household she wants to live in. Infuriating, the lack of self-awareness, the gratitude she owes the last several hundred years of women's work liberating themselves :(
Conservatives are all about pulling the ladder up after them
Segue, Abby should be living back in the times when there was rampant Anti semitism !
Watching this three months later I now realise that 70 years ago Abby could probably have gotten better audio quality. Goshdarnit woman, it sounds like you're recording in a Pringles can!
you dont have to go that far back.
She could go to the Amish people and live a "real traditional" life without her damn swimminpool, wash mashine and dryer...
She doesn't truly want 50's life because a guy on the street could whistle at her then call her something horribly anti-Semitic just for funsies.
Yeah, it's funny how they always want their "traditions" to be isolated from everything they propped up and was built in conjunction with. She also apparently wants back to an age where marital rape isn't a thing a woman can seek legal justice for. And where union people are killed by police. And black people sit in the back of the bus. And so on, and so forth
In the US, they still can. Have you not seen the UA-cam videos of people being horrible?
@@jamesonmiller8283 Yeah but nobody would even pretend to care. Just seemed more permissable to be an open shit bag to anyone and everyone.
Remember that she & her brother are friendly with literal neo-nazis.
Nazis were operating in south America, the Klan was 4 or 5 times stronger, police had lax accountability, the government started instituting gun control but only to target black people, the Korean War was poppin off, marines were freezing death fighting the Chinese, but Frank Sinatra was Killin it tho
Abby's attitude about her kid not consenting about being public is one of the very few things I respect.
I like that, too. Couldn't help but wonder if Mr. Baby is circumcised, tho. 😐
@@saranonimus9211 of course he is
@@saranonimus9211 does it matter ..?
@@annalisageiger Yea cause it is lawful irreversible child mutilation... which Mr. Baby did obviously not consent with. Reading between the lines. ;)
Interestingly she doesn't seem to care much about consent in any other context with any other person hahaha but good on her and for her child.
Like shaming someone for wanting and "making wrong choices" and is a kink, Abby, not a value. 😂
I am 66 years old. I have been the so called traditional wife, I have been the career wife and now I am the retired person. Still married to the same man that I started this journey with. Poor poor Abby! She has so much to learn. I just hope she doesn't crash and burn. I love you and your channel because you listen, you learn and you want to experience a rich life. This poor woman is going to be learning a lot things the hard way! Hopefully, she will see her hypocrisy and learn from it. I know woman like her though, who never learn, until things fall apart.
I really want to say to Abby that if she wants to live her classic life, to please give up her career and be the mother she wants to be. We don't need her to try to live a modern woman's life on the internet, making money as an influencer and worrying about audience engagement etc etc. She should go and dedicate all that time to her family, if she truly believes that is what makes her happy and have a purpose in life.
💯💯💯
As a stay at home mom I want to make a few points
1. My husband works 60 hours a week at two jobs to keep us afloat and because of the price of daycare it would be counterproductive for me to work. All of my money I would make would go towards daycare and gas.
2. Being a stay at home mom is so lonely if you don’t build a connection with other people (usually moms) in similar circumstances to talk and spend time with.
3. If you are on the fence about wanting children then you should not have children. The kids deserve parents that are all in, not ones that have them out of obligation.
Counterproductive unless you value yourself... Hmm. When you inevitably get tossed out on your ass and don't have any skills or experience you'll see.
Completely agree, that last point should be made so much more!! Far too many people have kids because it seems like the thing to do or because they think of children as accessories, not human beings. It's so tragic.
My mom got me and my brother into daycare by working there. We were left alone as soon as my brother was old enough to read back the emergency numbers on the fridge. I also as a man worked at a church daycare. i did all I could to respect the parents, keep the kids safe and engage the kids.
My mom eventually became a teacher in public school, and so when I say nobody is paid well to raise your kids, I really mean that.
this all sounds like my dad wasn't there, my dad worked his ass off, but needed my mom's help
100% agree with this especially the late point because sadly this idea of getting married & having children is drilled into children from a young age. I remember constantly being asked about how many children I wanted, what I'd name them, my ideal husband was, and my ideal wedding would be before I even knew that while I'm bi I'm more attracted to woman & don't know if I'll ever want children beyond my fur babies as it's something I would want to discuss with my future wife while we were still in the dating phase
Just wanted to point this out because towards the beginning of the video Emma said she has an aversion to wealth, and that she's sure that Abby and her husband worked super hard for what they have. No. They did not, both Abby and her husband were born into extreme wealth. She's never actually had to work a day in her life. So she got to spend all of her time simply following her dreams and figuring out what she wants out of life rather than having no access to decent school or jobs, and being forced to bust her ass 60 hrs a week to not even make enough to feed herself. Also the only reason her or her brother have the platforms they do is because their parents had enough resources to send them to elite private schools from preschool to graduate school. Then when Ben, and eventually Abby, got into media they had enough connections to convince far right billionaires to dump tens and tens of millions of dollars into their media ventures. That's where all of the funding for the Daily wire came from and where all of the funding for Abby's channel came from. Not saying it's impossible to see things like she does if you aren't born rich as hell. But it is definitely orders of magnitude less likely.
I agree, also hey Kyla M club!
I'm all for people having the choice to stay at home, I'm not a fan of extreme woke ideas that belittle those choices. But it would be great to live in a society that was not so damn broken, divided and feral that poor are pitted against each other, where you didn't need everyone working their assets off just to keep a roof overhead. Where hate and corruption and tribalism wasn't the go to for all sides.
@@sorejack What ideas are belittling what choices?
They are all financed by dusty billionaires who hope global warming is a thing that means that can live in compounds more than they do already
@@sorejack Translation: I so hate it when people have a mind of their own.
The ironic thing about “traditional women” being about women only being wives and mothers is that traditionally most women have worked in some way for pay or for trade, because they had to for survival, whether or not they were wives and mothers. All women being just wives and mothers was just a trend when the economy’s great, but most of the time it isn’t, and when women are expected to marry young and never divorce even if it’s a bad relationship.
Yeeeeerp, my grandma had to work because the allowance my grandpa gave her was not enough to pay for bills, food, the kids, school, etc.
I don't know their financial situation to know if there was more money my grandpa didn't share, I can only speculate maybe yes as he was an alcoholic, so there was money for booze.
This was during happiest time for women, 1950s, where they lived their life as just as housewives raising kids.
Yet my grandma's situation was not uncommon for the time. Heck even in my parents age bracket (boomers) a stay at home wife getting an allowance and she had to make it work was common. If it wasn't enough they went without or she got a job.
You are 100% right. The only people in history who were stay at home mothers were those who were rich enough to do so. And heck possibly rich enough for a nanny and servants to do the house cleaning and raising of kids.
You can bet back in the medieval days most average women and children were working the farm as well, not chilling at home. Those who were stay at home mum's and didn't work would of starved in winter.
For most people reality trumps ideology.
Yep and women would get paid less : P and be restricted to what they could even make money from.
Exactly. The majority of women have worked. Having a "trophy" wife was a sign of wealth. (think on the Lotus Feet, or the long necks, the jewelry...is not useful for working).
Only in the 50s, due to the appearance of the middle class and the invention of several machines that help to do the house chores, the housewives born.
But even back then, poor women and women from less developed countries, needed to work. These guys live in a bubble.
This is so true. The closest woman in my family that wasn't a working women, was my great-grandmother. She was a servant before marrying ,and even after that, she did earn money with raising animals for selling. I wouldn't compare her to the type of "stay at home" women Abby is thinking about. It was very different back then.
My family has its own definition of tradition and its own definition of values. It looks like my paternal grandmother, who worked hard in a shoe factory to raise her son while her husband fought in WWII. It looks like my maternal grandmother, who worked hard to raise her daughters after her husband died young of a heart attack. It looks like my aunt, who worked hard to raise her sons while her husband was in Vietnam. It looks like my ma, who worked hard to raise my sister and I as a single mother because she refused to compromise her self worth, and wanted her kids to grow up valuing themselves too, even if it meant leaving behind the financial security of her adulterous husband. "Uncompromising bitch" has been the traditional role in this family for generations and it ain't stopping anytime soon.
This is the best comment. Maybe the best ever comment on this "issue", which is not an issue at all to anyone trying to live their lives. My family, too, is full of strong women who got the jobs done - and the men have not suffered from this.
Abby reeks of wealth and privelege.
Well her family is extremely wealthy and influential, so that tracks
Everyone knows 😂😂😂
if she is Ben Shapiro's sister can you imagine what growing up in a household with him would have been like!
Yeah, when Emma was like "I'm sure her and her husband worked very hard for their money," I was like "no they most likely did not?"
And whiteness.
Reminds me of Kaitlyn Bennet, who, no joke, walked up to a woman advocating women’s rights and told her that giving women rights hasn’t been good for America. She’s absolutely unhinged. Just because you’re willing to sign away your own rights & life choices doesn’t mean other people will or want to.
Kaitlyn a woman using her right to declare her rights our bad lol. :)
If the right wing women sincerely believed the shit they said, they would be letting their husbands do the talking and be fixing their hair or scrubbing a toilet instead.
It's easy to talk when her brother gets hundreds of millions from billionaires to spread conspiracy BS ... and tax cuts for rich .
Ben Shapiro owns Daily Wire that tried to hire Crowder and owns Prager U , another jewish man vomiting out christian talking points .
There is no organic reight wing channel in US , they have always been funded by billionaires , non of those could stand on their own legs .
I cringe so much that woman called herself a libertarian... You know the small government and individual freedom peoples...
It makes me so sad to know something reminded someone of Kaitlyn Bennett...
When you realize you've been married longer than Abby has. . . Does that make me more of a pro on giving marriage advice? My advice is to not listen to Abby
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 10 years. That also mean that my GF has better advice about relationship.
I've been married for a while too. Here are some pro tips:
1) say thank you
2) say I love you
3) say I appreciate you
4) say I'm sorry
Edited to fix an autocorrect mistake.
@@j.c.2240 Good point. It can also be life advice as well.
I am a 25 yr old RADICAL LEFTIST who's wife is a stay at home mom and have also been married longer. My advice as the husband of an apparent 'trad' wife is to not listen to Abby
I will literally only listen to my mother's advice on marriage because she and my father will celebrate 30 years of faithfulness, dedication, and love come September of this year. My mom's ultimate piece of advice? "You are under no obligation to get married if you don't want to."
"i'm not being judgmental, i just think the way you are is wrong and you should be more like me"
abby, that's what judgmental is.
It's kinda like how they think them refusing to respect people is them not having self-respect.
They DO respect themselves, that's why they're not just buckling to your demands.
It's honestly conservatives who don't respect themselves or anyone else to varying extents.
If you think less of yourself or others based on how you look or what sexuality you have or anything else that doesn't really affect anyone morally...
*You're the disrespectful one.*
The more beliefs you have like that, the less respect you have over-all which includes the respect you have for yourself.
Self-respect is how you feel about yourself, if you respect yourself regardless of if others decide to respect you then you're doing it right. 💯
They center their entire existence around simultaneously controlling and pleasing others, which contradict each other, and neither of those is really conducive to respect.
Respect requires understanding people and how they work as well as accepting that.
You can respect someone you don't necessarily like and not respect someone you think you like more than anyone else.
And they want everyone to do the opposite of that.
Which leads to abuse, because you're forcing most people into situations where they just can't win and punishing them for it while the ones who do "win" are really miserable and thus also punished.
It's honestly ridiculous how many terms they misuse/misunderstand on like a fundamental level.
@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty yeah, absolutely, deliberate misunderstanding is a classic dishonest debate move that is a traditional political tool. They're much better at it than us, too. For example, "pro-life" was an anti war thing originally. "All lives matter" is a another good example of this deliberate perversion of catchy phrases and ideas for use against the idea's originator. "Think about the children" was ours too. "Thin blue line" is another one. That was about the vanishingly small distinction between the tactics of police and criminals.
Of course They fail a lot too, because the right can't meme. "attack helicopter" is a notorious failed attempt. It fails cuz the people who use it don't understand the concepts they're mocking well enough to be funny so it only appeals to the already converted. That's usually how it works. Adam and Steve is one they stole from themselves that eventually failed for the same reason. "Defund the police"" was one of ours lol
I kinda think modern conservatives come in several flavors. There are, as you mention, people pretending to be more confused than they are for persuasive, profit amassing, or power consolidating purposes. People like Tucker Carlson, who's famously buddies with Rachael Maddow, and has been caught numerous times admitting that he doesn't believe half of the shit he tells other people. There are plenty of these in government too, although less than there used to be.
Then you have people who are simply bad people who've found acceptance and community and advancement in post conservative politics. Your Ben shapiros and matt walshs. Anti feminist Incels and certain notorious grifters are also in this category.
And then you have a third group who honestly just don't have the cognitive capacity for projecting empathy. Understanding the struggles of others requires us to project ourselves into the shoes of others. To take several contiguous steps into an alternate mental reality. It's the same kind of intelligence needed to play chess well. Or dark souls. Some people simply do not have the ability to deliberately (never mind instinctively) project emotions and feel sympathy for others across time and space. Which ironically is what they say actually makes us distinct from other great apes, and most animals. We can communicate the suffering of long dead people just as we can the person's in front of us. Our even imaginary people. (Basically, other animals don't write fan fiction lol). People in this category are often your true believers. Marjory Taylor Green and Alex Jones types, as well as your average empty maga-hat who holds positions simply because he doesn't understand the arguments well enough to choose between them, and is either too proud to admit that, or too proud to change his mind once he's professed knowing that hes right and all his beliefs are true. After all, if he changed his mind, how would he show everyone that he's super smart and always right? He's too busy "winning" and "pwning the libs" to even consider changing.
But amongst all these, there is also a class of conservative who is honestly trying to do what seems best to them. They often have an encroaching fear of irrelevance, whicht they don't have the tools to acknowledge and cope with. that fear gets amplified and weaponized by other types of conservatives. They don't know whats good information and what's bad information, so they pursue comfort instead of truth, usually without even noticing. Ironically, the belief that the world is falling apart in the ways they predicted and think they warned us about gives them a sense that they still matter in the world. That they have age or wisdom or experience that the world suffers without. "These damn kids and their _______". There were a surprisingly large number of these types who went to Washington on Jan 6. If you watch that footage carefully, you notice a number of people yelling against violence in cops, or trying to convince people to calm down and not be violent. The crowd shrunk substantially once it became clear that it was turning into an attempted coup, and a lot of the people who left were the ones who were misdirected into that movement by a quiet fear of irrelevance. These people can be saved. They can be taught. If they want to be. They're the folks who are anti LGBT until they realize their beloved grandson is gay and they can't just rely on cognitive dissonance to protect them from the cruel implications of their beliefs. They have to choose between themselves and their beliefs. They're afraid of change, so it takes big moments like this. Its what makes them susceptible to misinformation, and it's what makes them teachable. But If you can make them unafraid, you can help them change.
If you watch enough of the interrogation footage of people who've been arrested for their part in jan 6, you notice all of those groups being represented in the suspects.
Except one. The first kind. They don't take the heat. They hold the torch. That's your pie catcher right there lol
@@micahfoley9572 well said
@@michaelsorensen2539 thank you, kind sir. I am honored that you read my, in retrospect, extremely long screed lol
@@micahfoley9572 Fantastic comment👍
I think Abby genuinely doesn’t seem to understand that some of us don’t like children
Fr
Especially the working class who has to see what children are like from a very early age, constantly cleaning up their messes before even having kids of our own, thinking about how tough it'll be to both work cleaning up other children's messes then coming home to clean up our own children's messes. Abby hasn't had to deal with any of that, she was born and raised into wealth and a higher class and hasn't had to work a day in her life. Ironically, I still think I want to have kids someday despite what I've just said. But yeah, I can totally see where others are coming from when they say "I don't want kids." And that's just from one angle. There are plenty of reasons not to want kids. It's why you gotta just let people be.
I was a child once. Took me years to get over it. Won't be having any of that nonsense in my house, thank you very much.
@@hmnhntr haha same! That’s one of the main reasons i’m childfree lol
I have a kid and don’t like kids 😂
I just like to point out that yearning for "Classic Living" is pining for a past that never was, i.e. the 1950's of TV commercials and sitcoms not the real average experience of people living in that era. It's like being nostalgic about the 1990's of Friends or the 2010's of How I Met Your Mother, when we all lived such care free lives that we could spend every evening in a cafe/bar with our quirky friends. Yeah right.
💯💯💯
Or live in a luxury apartment in NY by writing a stupid column about stupid Manolo Blanik shoes and stupid affairs.
😂😂😂
Ben and Abby always struck me as the sort to say they like Classical music not because they enjoy it, but because of the status it infers on them - like people who would go to the opera just to be seen by other socialites. It's not about enjoyment, but distinguishing yourself from the people you perceive as being less refined than you are.
That's what makes it hard to believe her when she says she isn't being judgmental - her whole "classic" doctrine is superficial, and needs something to compare itself to give it any value. In other words, she needs someone to judge as inferior in order for her status to have any worth.
She isn't happy, but she's fine as long as she feels like she's better than someone else.
💯
The Shapiro/Roth siblings most DEFINITELY have one hell of a superiority complex
THISSSS ... 'classic' would be fine and lovely if not for the implied (and overt) comparison to anything 'modern' (specifically 'modern' women) like it's a derogatory/lesser/inferior quality or whatever.
Well. I love classical music but I do hate when people are snobby about it. Like, no one cares if you like Mozart dude. It doesn't necessarily make you smart or cultured. Especially if it means you're completely ignorant about the last 70 years of musical development to the point where you'd say something like, "Jazz is just a cheap derivative of classical music." Which is something Ben has said.
Note that Ben does play classical violin.
Abby has the same devotion to research, empathy, and honesty as her brother
Boom! Spot on!
Yep. Nothing but a dogged pursuit of truth over prior beliefs and personal bias from the Shapiros.
And an authoritarian mindset. I think that's part of the reason why Abby is so sure that she's right and that other people are wrong, which makes her comfortable presenting lies via strawman arguments and arse statistics, all the while glossing over her own hypocrisy. In the same way that some Christians believe that it's OK to lie in order to save souls for Jesus, Abby gives every appearance of believing that it's OK to lie to get the little people to do what's best for them in the properly-ordered world that she wants to conjure into existence (assuming the hateful feminazi wimmin don't cancel her first, of course).
@@rainbowkrampus you weird the sword of sarcasm so well and finely
She does have better hair, though.
The thing is that the "raised in a bubble where every family has a stay at home wife & mother" thing isn't even true for Abby. Her mom, also a religious Modern Orthodox woman, worked outside the home. Her brother Ben's wife is a doctor, as he loves to bring up. If anything, when you look at a lot of other Orthodox Jewish moms who create video content online, balancing busy careers & large families within the structures of a religious Jewish life is a common theme.
well she just said she's a religious jew. religious does not imply orthodox.
@@gelipterzg they were specifically orthodox as far as I remember
@@emilwandel Good to know!
That still makes them hypocrites tho :/
@@madeline6951 my bad, wasn't aware of that. i don't really followup on the looneybins the likes of shapiro.
@@gelipterzg fair enough
Abby isn’t explaining her choices to us. She’s explaining her choices to herself.
💯💯💯🎯 People who have the compulsive need to tell 100 times in the row how happy they are are lying to them self.
I wonder when the divorce will be.
Except her choices dont conform to a classical lifestyle, lifestyle for thee and not for me lol
Very well said. When Abby was talking she kept giving me Serena Joy -handmaids tale vibes. Very much - " this systemic oppression is great for you but lol - not for me of course". Looking forward to hearing your take on part 2!
Women only want one thing and it's seeing the number go up.
All they do is McDonald’s, charge they phone, twerk, eat hot chip, and lie 😢
@@annaandersen51 this is the funniest thing I've read all week, I just keep hearing eat hot chip and LIE 😂
Number go up
For it is written - *A woman shall achieve her greatest degree of satisfaction, when and only when the number goes upwards.* (Thornius, 20:23)
Yeah totally not what men want too
I'm right there with you Emma on the "fuck your rich ass" attitude. As far as I'm concerned you have nothing to be sorry about, I got just as heated about her shit as you did. I get so sick of hearing the "it's ok for me, but not for you" bullshit they love to throw around. I spent 20 years as a "christian" and I can certainly tell you I was a LOT more miserable living that way then any other time in my life.
Abby is one of the most polite versions of what a lot of conservatives subconsciously want, which is to submit to an authority figure. The trouble is that they'll never own up to it or realize it until the world they claim to want comes to pass, and by that point they'll be too powerless to stop it.
The bible is telling slaves to submit to their owners (1 Peter 2:18) so at least in this respect they are living "Christian values". Of course they paint "FREEDOM" in bigger letters on it to gaslight everybody around them.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the nice ones are the worst type. With the openly hostile ones, you at least know where you're at. Even more so if they're the foaming-at-the-mouth type. But people like Abby might lull you in a false sense of security and have some of their ideas slip past your guard.
@@rolfs2165 It's also easier to fight the frothing screaming, threatening types in the face and it's legit self defense. they are openly, honestly threatening you, which makes them much easier to deal with in ways, ironically, that make them the villain, by their own "stand your ground" morality :/ The velvet vipers kill you quietly and gently
So Serena Joy from "The Handmaid's Tale"
The antebellum south relied heavily on the decorum of its southern belles of plantation aristocracy, which was only made possible by slavery.
More people might choose to be stay at home parents if a single breadwinner household were more financially viable for larger swathes of the population.
Despite being her own person, I doubt her channel would have gotten as big at the beginning if it weren't for the connection to her brother Ben.
Her channel isn't based on her opera singing that the pandemic put on hold. It's based on being the kind of *traditionalist* her brother can point to as a positive example whenever he goes off on a tirade about gender roles. Reading between the lines, why can't you just be more like my sister you [expletive deleted]?!
As a man with a Master's Degree, stuck in a 9 to 5 retail job, I can tell you that: No working 9 to 5 is not more fulfilling for men.
Right. It's not all what it's cracked up to be. I happen to love my job, though. There are certain aspects that I do not like, sure...including the kind of lengthy commute. I'm not passionate about my job but I've had much much worse jobs. The other side of it is a lot of people (mostly men) being treated as merely a bank account by their girlfriends. So, it's kind of like a double-edged sword.
Yeah I have a Master's too, and only can get retail jobs. College was a mistake, it ruined my life.
My mother lead pretty much a classical life raising 11 kids while dad worked. What that meant was ... recently a younger sister told me about being a child and walking away from the house with mom, because dad was hitting us again, and it was not a little bit of hitting.
"Let's just keep walking and never go back," my sister told mom.
"But I can not feed you on my own," mom wept.
When the crying was under control, they went back. They had no choice.
THAT is what the "classical life" can lead to.
"I'm sure they worked really hard for what they have." I can almost guarantee they didn't, Emma. lol
No harder than a shop worker.
She pretty obviously comes from privilege to have such a world view. But I don't see any hint at how hard their family worked to get where they are.
There are probably(!!!) poor people who worked harder but had a worse outcome, but that doesn't negate potential hard work on their part.
We have a problem with her making wild judgements based on other people having different world views, so we shouldn't do the same thing.
@@joachimschodershe and her brother have Hollywood parents, one who’s a movie composer and one who’s a TV producer. They both wanted to be famous in Hollywood (him as a screenwriter, her as a singer).
Do you know how *ridiculously untalented* you have to be to not even reached nepo baby status?! 🤭
Also, hey there fellow vegan!
@@joachimschoder isn't it just as dumb to assume that they didn't work hard? Maybe you people should just stop assuming redundant shit all the time. You don't know and you can't know, so stfu what's the matter with you
I found an article on a site called cheatsheet which indicates her husband is a lawyer (so definitely not blue collar).
What I can't stand about people like Abby is that although they say they are non-judgmental about women leading lifestyles different from theirs, they act like their way is the true way. (Note how Abby says she is promoting TRUE femininity.) So unless you are a Trad-wife, you are not truly feminine? I find that absurd.
What I can't stand about them is that they're fascists.
Yeah. While I imagine that they act disingenuous to maybe lure women in, they can't seem to go beyond their essentialism because their worldview and agenda demands so. Most women either don't want or are capable of a traditionist way of life, so they have to reinforce platitudes and assume others are being corrupted.
I find it absurd that many feminists call women who want to be "traditional wives/mothers" various unflattering names, and telling them that they are wrong for making that choice.
She definitely acts like her way is better and that she is better for following it
Abby reminds me of my sister. "Traditional values." "Women should be subservient to men." Absolute hypocrite. It's so mind boggling to see in action, it's hard to describe.
You want me to uphold the idea that women should be subservient to men!? Well I'm a man, and I say you should stop posting stupid anti-feminist bullshit. Checkmate, Abby.
@honestrat03 You're right but it gets better. My sister isn't even a housewife. She went out and worked and her husband took care of the household stuff.
@@Explodington I'm starting to suspect why you have your name.
My sister was also somewhat bizarre, in that she seemed like a Millie Tant, but my girlfriend heard her out in the garden, being sickeningly simpering towards a boyfriend, and called me over to listen.
I couldn't take that and went off to do something else to take my mind off of it.
also, a traditional woman, just like children should be seen and not heard. she really should cancel her podcast and be faithful to her husband, father, or brother. I mean if she wants to be consistent with her traditional values
I can't stand tradcons
I am convinced Abby came up with her definition of "classic" entirely from Pinterest aesthetic boards and then just threw in her own religious/political views.
I would LOVE if Abby could extend her mandatory stay-at-home bliss to men. I'm a man and I'd love to live my life like Abby, being a stay at home parent, finding fulfillment outside of work. I have a hunch she wouldn't aprove of that though...
You'd be a Simp. I think your great
You'd have to get gay-married, so a man could provide for the family!
@Zaprozhan That would not get aproved by her imaginary sky - daddy.
I'm a dad who is proud of the fact that my wife an I equally share the responsibility of kids, household and work. I wish, like you, Abby understands that forcing her worldview on women is also forcing it on their spouses.
Sorry for responding 8 months later, but this is how triggered I got from watching this...
You don't spend your time "finding fullfillment" as a stay at home parent. You spend it cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids. It's lonely, boring, repetitive, unfullfilling, and just plain mind numbing.
I grew up in a fundi cult. My mom and I were shunned because she broke the cardinal rule and got a pixie cut. Everything trad and classic makes me nauseated and extremely angry that women like Abby judge women who want differently from her. She's also disillusioned when she glorifies the past. Women suffered and were property of men and sex objects. Nothing more. Hysteria wasn't only treated with pills but was raped by their doctors who assured them that it was for their own good and made them relax afterwards. Going to stop my rant. I'll just get more pissed off if I continue.
Honestly i don't understand women that fantasize about living in the 'good old days' where we were raped, abused, institutionalized, drugged, lobotomized, exploited, and unalived regularly and without consequence.
It starts on page 1 of the tanakh. Adam is made in the image of the jewish god. Adam is made directly from dirt. The name Adam appears right away.
It is much later on that the j god says, this is not good, Adam is too lonely, I am going to make a helper for him.
So, the reason for the existence of women is a passtime for Adam, or a helper for Adam.
We could ask the question, If Adam wants a friend or someone to work with him, couldn’t the j god make more men?
If the j god is omniscient, wouldn’t he already know that he needs to make many Adams in parallel?
If I can ask these questions, so could anyone. So could the j people from 3000 y ago.
The goal of Genesis is not for providing deep explanations. Their goal is not for explaining biology, cosmology, etc. to us.
The goal was to give a quick rundown of what their god did which isn’t anything special. Any idiot can do that.
They also made sure to give us details as to the value of women in j society. This tells us about the psychology of the people who wrote those lines.
They also made sure to tell us that the woman (Eve) is made of a piece of Adam. The reason for this is ownership. I own my hair, even if I cut it off. I own my fingernail even when I cut it off. I own my finger even when I.......
Also, it is a bunch of lines later that the name of the woman appears.
Well thank for you for finally telling us her name!
@@louistournas120 Actually you're wrong. The term helpmeet in Hebrew is not "helper" in English. It's actually closer to being selfless and heroic. Someone who will protect others. The value of women in the Masoretic texts is far different to what modern christianity teaches.
“According to biblical scholar David Freedman, the Hebrew word translated into English as “help” is ezer. This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue”, “to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.” Just as the roots merged into one word, so did their meanings. At first ezer meant either “to save” or “to be strong,” but in time, said Freedman, ezer “ was always interpreted as ‘to help’ a mixture of both nuances.”
Diana Webb in her book Forgotten Women of God also clarifies this word by explaining,
“The noun ezer occurs 21 times in the Hebrew Bible. In eight of these instances the word means “savior”. These examples are easy to identify because they are associated with other expressions of deliverance or saving. Elsewhere in the Bible, the root ezer means “strength…. the word is most frequently used to describe how God is an ezer to man.“
She goes on to say;
"Neged, a related word which means “against”, was one of the first words I learned in Hebrew. I thought it was very strange that God would create a companion for Adam that was “against” him! Later, I learned that kenegdo could also mean “in front of” or “opposite.” This still didn’t help much. Finally I heard it explained as being “exactly corresponding to,” like when you look at yourself in a mirror.”
So what Eve is, is the mirror opposite of Adam. She had complimentary but no less important qualities, responsibilities and attributes.
I think Beverly Campbell has a great take on this;
“Thus, it seems that through imprecise translation, our understanding of the powerful words used originally to describe Eve’s role have been diminished. As a result, our understanding or Mother Eve has also been diminished. Suppose we had all, male and female alike, been taught to understand Genesis 2:18 as something like the following, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a companion of strength and power who has a saving power and is equal with him.”
@@nightshade7240 I have just one question for you. Do you find that the Bible is misogynistic or do you find that women just have a different role to play than men?
@@nightshade7240 Your post is just gaslighting. Eve was both the second born and literally from adam. In biblical times if you were not the first born you got basically none of your inheritance, and children (someone who comes from your body) have basically no rights and have to listen to the parent. its just a stupid misogynistic story made up by stupid misogynistic men thousands of years ago. Trying to pretend the bible isnt misogynistic from start to finish is just BS. I mean, one of the punishments of getting kicked out of the garden was women to have pain during childbirth , you cant come up with a stupider, misogynistic punishment if you tried.
The more I hear about trad-fem-tubers, the more I realise that Serena Waterford writing a book that ends up having the desired effect of creating the society where she is not even allowed to read is scarily accurate...
Personally, I think Emma's title for Abby's first podcast episode is more accurate.
IIRC, Abby was very upset when Harry Styles wore a dress, and she dismissed the people saying men used to wear wigs and high heels and makeup by saying men don't do that now. So basically... traditional/classic living means whatever these folks want it to mean in that moment.
16:42 Abby prefers the term 'stupid'. :)
I'm pretty sure Abby is angling to become the 21st century's Phyllis Schlafly.
Spot on. Funny how that works ain't it!
Conservatives long for the halcyon days and imho, Classic = Traditional = 1950s for them.
Which means that one should also be subjected to polio and smallpox and no internet for the full trad lifestyle.
The Shapiros are more than welcome to start that "classical" lifestyle going.
Abby is so close to understanding social constructs and yet she still doesn’t get it…..
See Phyllis and her in the same room?
"Men wearing suits and ties is unmasculine. Culturally, those roles are filled by women, men should wear dresses and stay in the kitchen"
There, have that, because why not
What Would Jesus Do? He'd wear a dress, like he did every day of his life.
As a 41 year old man (and I only say that to highlight what a different demography I'm from) I absolutely resonate with your anger and frustration, keep doing what you're doing :)
As a 35-year-old Arab man, I agree with you :)
@@Theone-kz9vd As a lesbian, I also agree!
@@devononair as a hot gay "please-call-me-a-pretty-fantasy-star-gender" individual, i agree as well.
One of my biggest gripes with Abby's message, is that it's unattainable for so many families, even if they wanted to live like this. I don't know anyone who can support a spouse and child on a single income, right now.
I would not be surprised if Abby resents not being allowed to follow her opera career and has to convince herself and others that this life forced on her is actually the true best thing that makes her happy.
Oh! That could well be true; it makes a lot of sense to me.
When she brought it up, my thought was "it all makes so much sense now". I realized I was looking at a woman desperately trying to justify giving up a career she liked.
Also I don't imagine that being a smug reactionary goes over very well in your average opera company.
That’s what religion does. When you are raised in a strictly religious or conservative home, especially as a young girl, you are told what you are supposed to be and who you are and that you simply must accept it. I’m sure she is extremely unhappy in her life, and that is why deep down I feel bad for people like Abby.
@@fart63 Yeah when said dogma comes with security and wealth. You have to hold the L and go with it that's how and why some family are extremely wealthy. Since lost comes with gain
It’s so gross that Abby’s idea of supporting women is to gaslight them into thinking that the choices she made are the only choices that can make a woman happy. Ask Betty Friedan how that works out.
That's just classic narcissistic personality tendencies/disorder line of thinking.
''i don't think I am always right ofc, no-one is, humans aren't perfect.
I'm just misunderstood all the the time''
Aka *I DO infact subconsciously, think I am always right and know the truth.
I think I'm being misunderstood, that you don't understand what I am saying, bc if you did, you would agree with me.*
So actually when it comes down to this : "I always think there is my way and the wrong way. I can't consciously admit to that however bc I know irl thats unacceptable and I can't justify it myself/ accept that I'm this self centered''
A therapist tried to explain this to my mom. She has borderline personality disorder and Narcissistic tendencies.
Didn't work ofc, statistically only 4% of narcissists change.
Bc they aren't interested in changing, they come to therapy so the therapist will understand their poor misunderstood self and explain to all the other plebs how right they are lol.
Made feel validated felt pretty good.
She is brainwashed. She is showing how NOT to be.
Ya that's what I hate most about right wing rhetoric. They act like their way of life is being taken away just because someone else is wanting to live a different way. If you have traditional values and want to live a traditional western life go and do it. No one is wanting to stop women from being stay at home moms or forcing people to get gay married or get abortions. If you choose that's not the right path for you then that's great! But why do you want to then stop everyone else from going their own path too.
Yep, I find it contradictory, these old school feminists, when they use influencer platforms like UA-cam, Instagram etc.
@@greyscalesx Sounds like my brother lmao
Abby does men a disservice, too: taking away their choices. Choices like being more involved in raising their children or working less.
Yes.
Exactly the same way the manosphere everywhere now does a great disservice to everyone.
It's bad and sad when ANYONE can just v0m1t on the net and be called "right" or a "genius", while also making tons of profit off of these people.....
Or the fact roles can be traded. My aunt is a director and owner of a high school. My uncle, her husband, is a stay at home dad. He never wanted to work, but he built half their house by himself instead. They had the finances to do it, so why not. However if it had to be reversed, they'd be less financially fortunate which makes no sense at all.
Good point
@@hagelslag9312 serious question. How do you own a high school?
among everything that is wrong with this podcast, it sticks in my craw that women like Abby and Mrs Midwest have NO IDEA how privileged they are to be able to stay in their big beautiful houses with their children and do exactly as they please. Also, if your whole sense of self is wrapped up in being a mother, what happens when the kids leave? Finally, being a strong woman is a great example for your kids.
63% of women without children said they had no desire to have a child according to The Institute for Family Studies. So, yes, she pulled that 1-2% out of thin air. Also, great channel, very informative and very entertaining.
2/3rds of childless women are lying and coping. That's like saying '2/3rds of incels have no desire to have sex' If so, then why make fun of them for it? Hypocrite.
On the topic of kids. I was involved in a large research study on family planning. I cannot reveal specific details about this research project it is because it hasn't been published yet. In that specific "country" or "region", roughly 16% of people didn't want to have kids, and there was no statistically significant difference between the two genders. Many people talk about the financial factor playing a role in such decisions, but that specific study revealed smth else. While finances sure played a role, that wasn't the main reason! The main reason was literally people being happy with the amount (or lackthereof) of children they had! That's it! Simply not wanting children is a good enough reason on its own. I know this is just one unnamed research project, but you can find comparable results across many, many other studies.
It seems to be a consistent theme in society that people can't grapple with the fact that "I don't want to" is reason enough.
This is really dark. Like Abby's perspective is literally why abuse is so common, especially in Conservative spaces. It cuts women off from outside support, it cuts them off from money and income, it makes the reliant on a single figure, usually their father than their husband. And then they are made to feel everything is their fault in the home that perpetuates a cycle of abuse and why it can take so long to leave abusers. I've heard stories of small towns where women can't speak out against known community abusers because they are made to feel it is their fault for disrupting the community, NOT the abuser. A lot comes down to money and independence and a their community and its sad many Conservative women cling to that
As a mid forties woman, I never believed I wanted kids, still don't as it turns out. Nothing in society teaches you that you won't want to, women who choose not to have kids are regularly challenged on when you are going to have kids.
I just assumed if I changed my mind when older I would adopt. A bit casual about the options but better than having a kid incase.
I have been happy with my life broadly but have struggled to find a work environment that I liked. However I think I have now but all those stressful work places have informed my knowledge making my current job manageable and not stressful.
Honestly, I think Abby hit the heart of it right at 44:17 when she said "all the things that make you feel good about yourself" (i.e. living "classically") bc she's so entrenched in a culture that so intensely expects her to be a mom/homemaker/"good" woman. She's internalized this so much that it's the only thing that makes her "feel good about herself" bc then she gets external praise from the misogynistic/conservative men in her life that benefit from her defining herself based on what she can provide for them
It’s giving that scene from the hands made tale where they ask the blue dress villain lady “why did you fight for a world where women can’t read your book?”
Thank you for mentioning that most women cannot afford to stay at home. I am a feminist and my choice (if I could afford it) would be to be a housewife/SAHM. So many anti-feminists complain about women not staying at home but I’m sure there’s a lot of us who would if we financially could!
Welp, I'd be a... Eh... Sahd? Sahd isn't great. Sahp. Also not great. Sahf...
Alright, screw that, I'd love be to be a stay at home dad and never ever ever spend time making money for other people ever again.
But you know, that just ain't going to happen.
@thomaswikstrand8397 Well to be fair, you don't have to make money for other people. You always have the option of not getting married and not having kids. Do you realize that? 🤔
I wonder how she responds to women that can’t stay home with the kids. I was a sahm for a year and it was really bad for my mental health. I’m a working mom now and I’m so much healthier and happier.
I also now work for a health department working on improving the overall health of the city. I find a lot of purpose in that as well as being a mother.
I wish everyone actually had a choice. I know far too many women who either want to stay home, but cannot financially. Or women who want to work but cannot because they don’t have childcare/family support/money for childcare (like myself). The people who advocate for women staying home, don’t actually support policies that would allow families to make choices based on what was really best for them and not what finances dictate.
Oh no, you aren't actually happy! You've just been brainwashed by the feminist agenda into *thinking* you're happy 😟 Listen to Abby. She knows what's best. /s
@@ocarstens6045 Ain’t that the damn truth!
@@ocarstens6045 THIS. If Abby wants women to be able to do what she says, first we have to be able to afford it. But that doesn't mean we should be forced into those rolls, either. Abby needs to learn some damned empathy for other people's choices.
I'm someone who wants to be a stay at home parent, but I hear your experience with it quite often. What about being a sahm was bad for you? Are there any pitfalls to avoid?
Quantum Abby is in superposition. She's a woman so has the same lack of rights she attributes to other women, but also has rights to tell everyone how to live. It's very mysterious and physicists are confused about how any of it is supposed to work.
😆
You are a genius twice over.
Applying quantum mechanics to conservative logic... I'm truly impressed.
"I'm for traditional values."
"Which traditions? Late medieval French? Victorian England? 8th century Danish?"
"No, silly. AMERICAN traditions."
"OK, so like slavery?"
"No, more 1950s and 60s."
"OK, so you want segregated drinking fountains, the draft, and no internet."
"No no, more sugar-coated. Like Donna Reed, which I saw on Nick at Night in my jammies when I was five. You know, women in dresses baking pies. That sort of thing."
"So you want something that only existed in some old sitcom."
"It sounds stupid the way YOU say it."
Brutal lmao
The frustrating thing about people like Abby is that they genuinely believe that suffering is paramount to this life. So if you say you don’t want children cuz of trauma or for financial reasons they believe that is not a good “excuse” children need to be born regardless of any circumstances because just by virtue of them being in the world (traumatic upbringing or not) the world will magically become a better place. As a woman who is childless and plans to keep it that way, I can’t imagine having to raise a child, its just not something I want but I wish the best for those who do want it. I feel like there is a deep psychological explanation somewhere for why these kinds of people need EVERYONE to be the same. Or maybe its not that deep but I can’t put my finger on the insistence that we all live the exact way as one another. Bizarre and angering.
I absolutely agree. There's a world of difference between "I like to live this way, here's some advice if you want to as well," and "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that." She's definitely being not only judgmental, but elitist and exclusionary to boot.
Bingo! She’s coupling conservatism with elitism and touting them as the only legitimate way to live.
@@queenmotherhane4374 - Grossly exclusionary too. While excluding lesbians and transwomen from the equation might fall under conservatism, her "ideal" womanhood also excludes infertile women, women who are too high-risk to safely bear children, and pretty much anyone who can't live the way she describes. Extreme tunnel vision created from a place of privilege and good fortune.
True
R ppl saying "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that,"?
Did Abby express "the way I live is the only right way, here's how I you need to do that,"?
@@coda821 "so many people get offended when you tell them it's a better way to live" does that not sound like she thinks she knows best?
I grew up Mormon - it is heavily implied from an early age that you are not fulfilling your life’s purpose if you don’t have a family one day. When I was about 14, I consciously started thinking - I don’t look forward to having a family at all. I had no desire for that, no matter how much they told me that’s what my purpose was, no matter how many hours were dedicated to shaping me into being a good mother and wife…
I’m 28 now. I have no kids, no husband. I followed my own dreams and I’m very happy I made the decisions I did to not live a “traditional” life.
I’m very happy for her that she has found something she’s passionate about, something that gives her life meaning every day. But she needs to understand that everybody wants something different. Happiness means something different to everybody. Thinking your way is the right way is very shortsighted.
I am guilty of criticizing others for their choices myself, but it’s important to remember that we do not know what is best for others. Anything we offer to others as far as life advice goes is just that - advice. And it might not be right for everybody.
Good for you! You stay ChildFree and fabulous 😊
To be fair, it's not just being "mormon" that brings that expectation. It's been a general society thing for a long time - still is for some people. I felt that pressure myself even Before I became a latter-day saint. And, speaking as a LDS - I absolutely support your choice.
It seems to me she is trying to convince herself that she's happy. I used to do that when I was in my toxic marriage.
The world will be a better place when the truth comes out that Abby's having an affair with the pool boy and Ben dresses in drag and goes to night clubs on the Sabbath.
Think that may be very true indeed OR this is a lucrative way to earn a buck and get some attention in order to compete with er deranged brother. 😏
@@TheLodjur it can be both
@@TheLodjur Bloody hell! Can you imagine the oneupmanship at those family gatherings? Especially in grating voices delivered at speed.
@@SabertoothedTiger69 agree. Sounds like it *is* both. Part "convincing myself I'm happy" and "how can I monetize polarising worldviews?"
Women are more anxious and getting diagnosed more because being a woman is effing hard, Abby!
I will never know the struggle myself, but having grown up around women my entire life and seeing the struggles they go through on a constant daily basis I can't be surprised that women and AFAB folks have anxiety on the regular.
My grandmother lived a very "classic" life as a stay-at-home mother in a good-income household in the 60s and 70s. She was dosed up on mogadon the extent that she spent a third of the day asleep.
I had parents.
I never wanted to inflict that on anyone else.
"I know that classical living makes people happier" uh. No. I'd have to quell so many parts of who I am. Not to mention that, much as I love my niblings, I don't want to have kids. It sounds like almost a nightmare to me.
Yeah not everyone should have kids, those who do really want to be parents and love their kids, good for them! But I definitely don't want kids and if I had them just because I felt like I had to I'd probably be a really bad parent
Being like her wouldnt make me sad: it would 2000% makes me depressed and would 0ff myself.
It is truly digusting what Abby farts out of her mouth.
Anyone with at least one working brain cell should be able to see right away through her weak BS.....
H o p e f u l l y.....
@@bookshelfhoney
I can't conceive women actually believing delusions like Abby's.
It doesnt make the slightest sense to be happy of being stripped of all your hobbies, skills, intellect, choices etc, only to return to being a slave, everything so many women fought against for so long.
(Still does in so many countries), yet there she is, spitting on years of efforts and trying to brainwash women at returning to "back then".
Anyone beliving in her blatant BS has to be brain damaged....
Exactly. I can almost guarantee she does not support any economic policies that would at least help women to afford to not work and stay at home raising multiple kids.
My wife is a stay at home mom, and she really enjoys getting to spend that much time with our children, she is also supportive of the women in our lives that are single and succesful career people
Hypocrisy + grandiosity + humble bragging + a touch of narcissism = Abby
Abby (around the 16:40 mark): I don’t think women who don’t live like me are dumb
Also Abby (in a previous video): having premarital sex is dumb! (Literally the word she used)
There are so many more instances of her calling other people dumb or stupid
@@JENNIFAFAA “you’re dumb if you use birth control”
[continues to use *very incorrect* science about birth control]
Jokes on Abby, I've been depressed and anxious since childhood. It's an inbalance of stuff. Also, I'm infertile! heyyoooo I tried to be a mom and that didn't happen. Know what makes me happy? Being an artist and sharing the house stuff with my husband and taking care of my animals. And being very very feminist and kinda pagan. And the thing is, my husband is the one working a full job, but he does so from home, so it really feels like we are just both at home being all chill. I love it. What we are are hermits.
Sounds lovely. So happy for you !
I kind of want to do a beat-for-beat remake of this video, except replace all instances of 'being a wife and mother' with 'playing Dungeons and Dragons', because it would make about as much sense.
I've got my crown royal bag of dice at the ready, let's roll!
Do it. I will love it.
Please! I would watch that!
I know this is going to sound really bad, but I had to push really hard the idea of getting a job to my mom, she had nothing and depended deeply in my father and he is a horrible person, and she was that way because people pushed her all her life that that was what she was supposed to do, be a housewife. I’m glad she listened to me and I’m really happy that she is starting to speak up for herself. I love her so much and I had to see everyday the control my father had on her, it was really sickening. I’m scared of what will happen when I move out tho
I love how you called out her hypocrisy by pointing out that she’s rejecting the concept of modern femininity by… literally running her own business and having her own income?? Rules for me, but not for thee, apparently. What a joke.
I love how your passion comes through - and then when you cool down, you apologize. And you don't need to. You are not too much.
Emma: "What about men who don't want kids?"
Me, an Asexual dude: "Oh hey, Emma's talking about me! I feel seen! :D "
My husband and I have chosen not to have children for a variety of reasons. Note the word choice. Haha
@@snowqueen51 What about women who becomes nun’s and chose a life of celibacy and obtained from having kids, are they not happy or fulfilled? Or does Abby get to tell them what happiness is?
Abby probably doesn't believe in Aces, or pathologizes it. She's got a vreeding jink though
Hell yeah! A fellow ace dude! No kids, only garlic bread 😋
@@bennyk384 **starts chanting "GAR! LICK! BREAD!!"**
She makes up that 1-2 % and immediately switches from "women who don't want children" to "women who don't want to marry and don't want children". Those two are not dependend on each other.
There is enough people in committed heterosexual relationships who don't want children.
Nothing says, "tradition" like starting a podcast.
I was watching a documentary the other day about a bunch of Amish type folk, and the older more conservative members of their village were all worked up about "all these young'uns forgetting the traditions and using modern things... like tires on their wheelbarrows!"
Seriously, I kid you not.
I don't know how you manage to stay that calm. Thank you for calling out such toxic views, I'm always impressed by your work!
I think you are equating being a smol with being calm. Emma is not calm here. Emma is fucking mad as hell. Like there are only 2 other people on earth who make her this mad. And its always so great. "you cow... NiNty NiNe PER CENT" is not a calm emma. that emma will fucking eat you alive.
Same
I did the stay at home mother thing, and it was terrible for my mental health. I was much happier when I was working part-time.
The narrow thinking of "you have to do what I do to be happy" just annoys me no end. Their inability to understand that other people like different things and want different things just boggles my mind. Just because I like pink and you like green doesn't mean that either of us is wrong. We're just different.
Yes! This!
Indeed! In my career I've known several women who tried out being a full time stay at home parent but found it very isolating (not to mention the hit their household took financially with only one parent working) and went back to work at least on a part time basis. One woman from my first job really loved her part time work since it allowed her to take care of their home and her young daughter on some days, but also earn some money and have some grown-up interaction on other days. I work full time and I do love my job, but I've often wished I could do part-time hours like she did! If only to get more home projects done :)
Dude, being a woman is hard enough as it is. The last thing I need is someone else (especially another woman) telling me how to live my life.
FOR REAL!!!
I love your honesty of “I’m going to skip this because I’m jealous,” growing up religious I used to beat myself up for committing the sin of jealousy but acknowledging where it comes from and embracing it isn’t something I’m really familiar with. A small part of the video but that really helps me tbh ty
It must be nice to talk about how being a housewife/stay at home mom is the way all women should live, from the comfort of her view of the pool.
Let set aside for a second the fact that what makes one person happy won’t make everyone happy. Who is she to tell women how to live, when for many, her way is literally impossible. So not only is she judgy, she also makes woman who want to live that way but can’t feel like shit and a failure.
What I dislike most about anti feminists is their notion that feminism does not care about men’s issues and that is far from true. Academic feminists are very much concerned about issues involving stay at home dads and mental health issues surrounding that, toxic masculinity, incels etc.
I follow a UA-cam channel called Frum It Up, by a Sephardic Orthodox wife and mother who works full time as a doctor. She gives a lot of detail about Orthodox Jewish life, including cooking, fashion, religious observance, and work-life balance. There is absolutely *zero* judgmental commentary, and she comes across as kind, warm, and supportive.
"Hmm sounds pretty unhappy." -Abby
Thanks for sharing positive alternatives!
Oh man, I just popped over to her channel and enjoyed watching a wholesome video about how to set up a hot cocoa bar with stuff from Dollar Tree. 10/10 good recommendation!
@@adams.1404 😂😂😂
I lived with an older male family friend when I was 18 (he's like a grandfather figure to me) and I've always been a very straightforward person myself, so when he started with the whole "grandchildren" conversation as a joke "now you're grown up you'll be having a family of your own soon" type stuff, I was honest and said "nah that's not for me. Maybe some plant children?"
He same the same spiel that Abby did, but in his own way. "When i was a boy, all the women around me were happy as sah mothers, my friends mothers and my aunties etc. These days women aren't as happy because they can't stay at home and be mothers anymore."
My reply was "You think the adult women around you would have burdened you as a child, with their problems? Isn't it more likely they were putting on a face for their son's friends? And i bet some of them worked in addition to all the labour they did at home."
And he didn't know what to say lol.
Personally I've always been childfree. Since puberty hit me and I realised it was a possibility, kids were something I've never wanted to have in any capacity whatsoever. I don't care if Abby thinks it's selfish, it's inherently a part of me and always has been. Personally, it was easier for me to work that question out than my sexuality lol.
I would have been miserable and definitely medicated if I was forced into birthing a child. Probably wouldn't have perservered with life for very long if I'm being honest.
People just need to mind their own business and let live. If someone wants to be a sahm or elements of "classical" life that's great for them. If they want and choose freely the full Abby sahm religious servant to husband life, that's great for them.
None of those things are a fit for me and plenty of others.
Just leave me to be a single, childfree, atheist, with my plants and my hobbies, in peace and quiet (while occasionally dabbling in casual relationships when i can withstand the dramatics of other people). And leave others to make their own choices about their own lives.
I wouldn't force my lifestyle on anyone bc I know that what works for me isn't a universal fit for all.
I had just taken a required etiquette class where the person was injecting their sexist standards. I felt super uncomfortable and felt like I was the only one to see how problematic it was. This made me feel less alone. Thank you.
Also abbys talk about 1-2% of woman not wanting children really ignores people who can't have children. I feel like the whole "you need to be a baby making machine to be happy" mentally just reads as ableism.
A comment further up says that around 62% of women without children don't want them, which doesn't sound much like her 1-2% stat to me. But yes, Abby's views on this are problematic regardless.
I'm with you Emma about the Pool. I have family members who have worked really hard to get where they are in life and I appreciate that... but... when they tell me about all their new stuff and what a struggle it was to decorate again, I imagine their house burning to the ground to get through it.
My excuse is that they don't stop to think about me living at my brother's place because I lost my job and flat.
😬☺ x
Understand that I still love my family ♥
People sometimes lack the self awareness of their actions and words
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that! I hate the narrative that people are just “jealous”. I don’t think anyone successful should hide it as to not offend those struggling. But goddamn, READ THE ROOM. It’s crazy to me.
Pools are a major money suck. Not only are they crazy expensive to install but the long-term upkeep is also incredibly expensive.
"I'm not judgy, I'm just patronising. Know the difference"
Abby is also very clearly privileged and grew up that way so it wouldn't surprise me if you just cannot understand how people literally can't live like her.
What's privileged about raising a family?
@@RideAcrossTheRiver Raising a family without any true worries about financing is infinitely easier/more privileged than someone who knows they will have to balance work life with home life, and maintain a strict budget just to get by. She's growing a garden in a temperate climate; most people live closer to the desert.
@@adams.1404 Rich and educated people are the least likely to raise children. In a country such as Canada, once the general populace became university educated and wealthier, around 1960, the birth rate literally stopped and immigration took over.
@@RideAcrossTheRiver It's not about 'raising a family'. It's about the ability to stick to gender roles and make it work. The reality is, most families cannot financially survive that way. The privilege lays in how she raises a family. Not the fact that she does.
@@hagelslag9312 " the ability to stick to gender roles and make it work"
What are you talking about?
"privilege lays in how she raises a family"
Again, what are you talking about? The fact is that rich and educated people are _least likely_ to have children.
I had kids. Love them but they don’t give “ultimate fulfillment.” Nothing outside of yourself ever will .
I was raised in a very strict mormon home. I was raised to believe that I had no reason to go out into the world and learn and work or anything. I was taught that my own value stemmed from getting married to a man and making babies. I really appreciate your videos because I'm learning how to be an individual. And I'm trying to feel okay with being a woman and having goals, aspirations, and desires of my own. It's very toxic teaching our daughters that they have no value in the workplace, just make babies.
I wish you the best of luck in the future, you can do this!
Kudos to Abby for not making her son be the focus of social media, without his permission. DId she also waive/ postpone his circumcision until he decides for himself ????
Definitely not. she is Jewish
@@sherlockwho5714 do you think she would circumcise her kid`?
@@krybling she almost certainly did. Being it's important in the Jewish religion
When I thought you were asking me my opinion. I don't. Evidence isn't really there to say that it is medically important.
If you as an adult want to get it more power to you
@@sherlockwho5714 its just borderline racist to say all jewish people would circumcise their children.
im glad you backed that up with evidence
@@sherlockwho5714 i met jewish people , none of them being fan of circumcision so im a bit skeptic when reading a random comment by someone know it all
One of the first conversations my partner and I had before deciding to begin our relationship was if she wanted to get married or have kids, for her it was a strong no to both. For me having kids is a strong no and marriage has always been 'I don't care' if my partner wanted it I would if not then no need, personally I just think it's an expensive party.
Get married. The party is so much fun!
Or do w/o the party. An intimate dinner w/ loved ones is cool.
Yeah, marriage is perhaps the biggest imposition that religion has over modern society imo. I don't need to drop thousands to tens of thousands of dollars for a ceremony to vow to be with someone "till death do us part" (but not really; you can pay loads of money to annull it if you change your mind)
Not gonna lie, Emma being this spicey is really awesome. I get that this must be frustrating and infuriating for her, but seeing her tackling Abby with actual facts and statistics is making me so happy!
I have two soon to be 16 year olds and I love them to bits. However I also know I don't more and being single suits me so much better.
I hope you'll get some rest before the next one Emma! Have a lovely rest of the weekend!
My father finished his 20 years in the army when I was 5. We moved to QLD. Mum had left the workforce to look after my brother and I. She still did things to earn money. Junk mail delivery and the like. They basically decided to see who got a job first and that person would be the main bread winner. Subsequently my father was the at home parent when I was growing up. Which was an unusual thing on the 90s. I think mum was more fulfilled working. Though qualification wise she had to start at the beginning again and work her way back up. Dad had already had a career and fully embraced his role as Mr Mum. There is no one size fits all.
38:11 - Emma dear, omg. I had to stop and laugh a bit. I don't think I've even heard that on the internet in all my years XD Literally laughing and crying. Thank you.
I just got an ad for manifesting things. Apparently Noah manifested the Ark - where do these people come from? Lol
Mr. Baby is indeed a hilarious nickname & I really respect that she doesn’t show her child online. I wish more online figures did that. What I don’t like is her (& many other UA-camrs like her) judgy “my ideals are the right way” narrative
I doubt Abby had to kill chickens like my traditional grandmothers. One grandmother, when she had guests, had to go to the chicken pen, grab a bird, chop off its head, pluck it, and prepare it. I can’t picture Abby doing this.
She’d faint and make someone else do it
Oh yes!!! The true "traditional" lifestyle!
She would have her immigrant house helper (that she is condescending to and under pays) do it.
Hah... tbh, she is kinda the thing antisemitic folks want to portray of Jewish folks, back in the day
Nah, the true traditional lifestyle is living in a cave and collecting berries and making fires while the men go to hunt deer and rabbits. If you have time between cooking, looking after a baby and constructing clothes from animal skin, you might be able to do some drawings on a cave wall!
I hate that there's anything about Classically Abby that I respect, but it's honestly great that she doesn't capitalize off of her child. I wish she could fínd a way to respect other adults the way she respects her child.
She's probably just hiding a disability or something she's ashamed of. I don't believe she gaf about the child's feelings.
"50% of men and women don't wanna have kids" Kinda related to that: If you get better economically (as in like
I’m a SAHM of 5 and I truly love it. It’s frustrating but fulfilling for me at the same time. That being said, I never thought I’d be a SAHM. It just happened to work out that way and I’m grateful it did. I started staying home after baby number 2 in 2016 because daycare was too expensive and my job barely covered the cost of childcare for the month so there was literally no point to me having a job. But just because this works for me and my life doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Do what works for you and your family, why is that such a hard thing for people to accept? Why do we always feel the need to micromanage women’s lives?