Great video mate. I have almost an exact shared experience with the ADHD. But my diagnosis gave me a bit of clarity and things have slowly improved since then but it’s always a work in the progress.
I think the clarity is massively helpful, just knowing there's a reason for all the things we've been struggling with. Glad you're moving forward, thanks for the comment.
Of course we haven't given up on you! Your videos have resonated with many people, some not brave enough to admit that the things you've spoken about are the same things they're going through themselves.
Good to see you back Jay! Been in Vietnam the last month on a similar journey, currently sat on a bus in Cambodia and flying out to Phuket Saturday! Gonna give your latest vids a watch!
Ah man, that sounds awesome! While you're in Thailand, check out Koh Chang if you get a chance. Really enjoyed the stay there. There's a place called Pawn's Bungalows where you can rent a little bungalow right on the beachfront. Have fun mate!
This ADHD condition is what is causing the irrational fear of rejection, the fear of being judged, the fear of being not good enough. It's referred to as RSD - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Mindfulness helps us to realise that thoughts are impermanent mental objects and that the Self is not permanent and separate from nature and the Universe. The Self or Ego is a social conditioning based on language and memory and the use of the "I" label in communication. Too much thinking causes mental delusion, anxiety, fear, confusion, and despair.
Thank you for your insights Bhante, I have read each of your comments and appreciate you taking the time to write them. Meditation has been big help for me over the years, I did make a video on it. I even went to India to practice Vipasana for 10 days - that was an amazing experience. Sometimes I'm better at looking after myself spiritually than others so thank you for the reminder.
@@JayWallace Great that you took the vipassana retreat in India. Goenka's method can be verry intense and difficult for beginners. Yoga and chi gong are beneficial too. Mindfulness meditation actually came from the yoga tradition. Glad that you felt so open and happy in India. I had profound awakenings in India, 1975. I had reverse culture shock when I returned to Canada and wanted to return to India at once but couldn't. I began learning yoga and playing the sitar. I returned to India four years later and got to visit Thailand and Hong Kong also. Did two summer retreats in northern India, away from the intense heat. Nature, forests, hills and mountains, spacious awareness and silence. I have a few videos on UA-cam (bhante kovida). Take care.
I got my diagnosis a bit more than year ago now and this last year has been some of the most stable, suffering-free times of my life. It's still difficult but having the knowledge and understanding of these issues is a tremendous help. I hope it's the same for you dude. It really does change things. Best wishes
Thanks for sharing and great to hear life's going well. Learning about how our brains work and giving ourselves permission to just be is one of the biggest things I think we can do for ourselves.
I think that's one of the biggest things you get from a diagnosis - validation - knowing there's a reason why we act the way we do and why we struggle with things other people find easy. Hope all goes well on the journey.
Hi mate, its nice to see you back. Well done on seeking your ADHD diagnosis its very brave. The problem is always once diagnosed "what next?". I've kinda been at this juncture for a while and wondering if it could be the case for me. However, lack of resources and dread put me off pursuing avenues. Well done though youre very brave nice to see you back
Yeah it's a bit of a double-edged sword. When I first had my suspicions, my coach said that it didn't really matter whether I had a formal diagnosis or not - the next steps would be the same. I wanted to.get a formal diagnosis I guess because I needed someone to tell me there was a reason for my struggles. Also, you then get access to meds which I wanted to try. Whether you get a diagnosis or not doesn't really matter ultimately. It's about starting to build a life that works with you, not against.
@@JayWallace yes like you said a diagnosis helps explain the struggles and also gets you access to medication as well. Is your coach you refer to like a PT or more like a counsellor/therapist if you don't mind the ask?
@@teaboyuk Sort of like a therapist. Coaching is more focused on the future and your goals whereas therapy is more focused on the past and how you got here. I've found both really helpful over the years.
Glad to see you are always taking steps to learn and grow - well done! I am also neurodiverse. My particular flavor gives me stupid amounts of hyperfocus, resulting in having an overbearing number of tasks to do, but the catch is never stopping to rest/reflect and enjoy successes. My experience of knowing people who took up medication is that it can start off very rocky mentally for a couple of weeks - be sure to communicate it so they know and can monitor!
Can definitely relate to not enjoying or celebrating successes. I used to hyperfocus a lot more but I've been made to feel in the past that I need to "settle down" and focus and I think I've got some shame around living the way I want to live. Such an interesting topic and the more I learn, the more pieces start to fall into place.
Understand that, I think people have different tolerances to boredom though. I know lots of people who can just show up, put in the hours and go home. For me, the work has be engaging or it feels physically uncomfortable, like I need to run out
This could be me sat there talking, resonating so much with me. I’ve recently realised that I must have ADHD. I haven’t tried to get a formal diagnosis so far as I don’t have a GP that I feel I can talk to about it. Don’t know whether to pursue a diagnosis or not as I don’t like the idea of medication. At the moment I’m working on strategies that work for me now that I understand why I do certain things and how my brain works / doesn’t work in specific situations
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter whether you get a formal diagnosis or not - the way you would manage your symptoms is the same. There's no harm in getting yourself on the waiting list and in the meantime, learn as much as you can about the condition and see if you can make changes that help. Look up "right to choose" as well - it might speed up your wait time :)
Hey Jay, a lot of what you have been saying in your ADHD vids resonate with me. This year I have been looking into ADHD more and think I have it too as it all seems to explain a lot of how I have been for years now! Who did you use for the private assessment and roughly how much is it? I have been looking via NHS but the wait list in my area is 2 years!
Yeah NHS waiting lists are crazy - look up "right to choose". I used a private Harley Street Physiatrist but it wasn't cheap. You'd be looking at around £850 for the assessment, then you pay monthly for titration appointments while you figure out the best meds for you which are around £150 plus the cost of the meds which is around 100-200 again depending on the meds. You'll probably be looking at around £2000+ before you've got everything sorted. The idea is, once you have the right med and dose dialed in, you go to a thing called "shared care" with your GP who then prescribes your meds via NHS and then you only pay prescription fee which is around £9 I think. I'll probably make a video on this at some point which goes into a bit more detail.
I feel like I am where you are in your journey in regards to applying for jobs but I didn’t get diagnosed yet and I aim to do so soon. Test myself for ADHD and Autism just in case because my sister was diagnosed with both recently and I believe for the Autism it was “high functioning”.
I've seen autism and ADHD is quite a common pairing. Job hunting is so tough because I feel like I've been here so many times - got all excited about a new job then lost all interest a few months later. Think I'm worried it's going to happen again. The good thing is, the more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to make choices that suit our brains. Thanks for sharing.
I could have adhd, who knows, Software development suites me well because every day its a new problem to solve, each project is a different challenge. There are some boring days but more often im excited by what im trying to solve and there is a lot of satisfaction when you build something that works and other people use
I was looking for ADHD-friendly jobs and software development comes up a lot for those exact reasons. Glad you found something that suits your brain and gives you a challenge, we all need that.
Great to hear you're on the journey man. Been on for a few days, been a bumpy ride so far but hopefully start to even out soon. Will be posting daily about the journey.
Mate, my brain works the same. I'm 49 now. Stop working for the man and work for YOURSELF! I can't stress this enough. Pick a business model and go for it. You'll be more focused and fulfilled cos it's your own thing. Even if you fail first time, the journey will be fun and you'll gain skills for the next run. Use the ADHD to your advantage. Also, get off the meds. Downward spiral.
Great video mate. I have almost an exact shared experience with the ADHD. But my diagnosis gave me a bit of clarity and things have slowly improved since then but it’s always a work in the progress.
I think the clarity is massively helpful, just knowing there's a reason for all the things we've been struggling with. Glad you're moving forward, thanks for the comment.
Of course we haven't given up on you! Your videos have resonated with many people, some not brave enough to admit that the things you've spoken about are the same things they're going through themselves.
Thank you, that means a lot. Going to post daily this week about my journey on the new meds so stay tuned!
Good to see you back Jay! Been in Vietnam the last month on a similar journey, currently sat on a bus in Cambodia and flying out to Phuket Saturday! Gonna give your latest vids a watch!
Ah man, that sounds awesome! While you're in Thailand, check out Koh Chang if you get a chance. Really enjoyed the stay there. There's a place called Pawn's Bungalows where you can rent a little bungalow right on the beachfront.
Have fun mate!
This ADHD condition is what is causing the irrational fear of rejection, the fear of being judged, the fear of being not good enough. It's referred to as RSD - Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Mindfulness helps us to realise that thoughts are impermanent mental objects and that the Self is not permanent and separate from nature and the Universe. The Self or Ego is a social conditioning based on language and memory and the use of the "I" label in communication. Too much thinking causes mental delusion, anxiety, fear, confusion, and despair.
You can check out mindfulness meditation videos and apps on your phone. Taking medication is not enough. Take care.
Thank you for your insights Bhante, I have read each of your comments and appreciate you taking the time to write them.
Meditation has been big help for me over the years, I did make a video on it. I even went to India to practice Vipasana for 10 days - that was an amazing experience.
Sometimes I'm better at looking after myself spiritually than others so thank you for the reminder.
@@JayWallace Great that you took the vipassana retreat in India. Goenka's method can be verry intense and difficult for beginners. Yoga and chi gong are beneficial too. Mindfulness meditation actually came from the yoga tradition. Glad that you felt so open and happy in India. I had profound awakenings in India, 1975. I had reverse culture shock when I returned to Canada and wanted to return to India at once but couldn't. I began learning yoga and playing the sitar. I returned to India four years later and got to visit Thailand and Hong Kong also. Did two summer retreats in northern India, away from the intense heat. Nature, forests, hills and mountains, spacious awareness and silence. I have a few videos on UA-cam (bhante kovida). Take care.
I got my diagnosis a bit more than year ago now and this last year has been some of the most stable, suffering-free times of my life. It's still difficult but having the knowledge and understanding of these issues is a tremendous help. I hope it's the same for you dude. It really does change things. Best wishes
Thanks for sharing and great to hear life's going well.
Learning about how our brains work and giving ourselves permission to just be is one of the biggest things I think we can do for ourselves.
Great hope this helps dude, got Autism diagnosis in Jan myself and it's changed how I view myself and made things so much better!
I think that's one of the biggest things you get from a diagnosis - validation - knowing there's a reason why we act the way we do and why we struggle with things other people find easy.
Hope all goes well on the journey.
Please keep us updated on your progress 😌
Will do, hoping to update daily now I've started meds
@@JayWallace great to see you again speaking! Take your time and get used to it.. all the best for you m8!
Hi mate, its nice to see you back. Well done on seeking your ADHD diagnosis its very brave. The problem is always once diagnosed "what next?". I've kinda been at this juncture for a while and wondering if it could be the case for me. However, lack of resources and dread put me off pursuing avenues.
Well done though youre very brave nice to see you back
Yeah it's a bit of a double-edged sword.
When I first had my suspicions, my coach said that it didn't really matter whether I had a formal diagnosis or not - the next steps would be the same.
I wanted to.get a formal diagnosis I guess because I needed someone to tell me there was a reason for my struggles. Also, you then get access to meds which I wanted to try.
Whether you get a diagnosis or not doesn't really matter ultimately. It's about starting to build a life that works with you, not against.
@@JayWallace yes like you said a diagnosis helps explain the struggles and also gets you access to medication as well. Is your coach you refer to like a PT or more like a counsellor/therapist if you don't mind the ask?
@@teaboyuk Sort of like a therapist. Coaching is more focused on the future and your goals whereas therapy is more focused on the past and how you got here.
I've found both really helpful over the years.
Glad to see you back mate and to hear about your diagnosis as well.
Thanks Brother, it has been a while. Great to see you're still going
@@JayWallace No problem mate and thank you very much ☺️
Glad to see you are always taking steps to learn and grow - well done! I am also neurodiverse. My particular flavor gives me stupid amounts of hyperfocus, resulting in having an overbearing number of tasks to do, but the catch is never stopping to rest/reflect and enjoy successes.
My experience of knowing people who took up medication is that it can start off very rocky mentally for a couple of weeks - be sure to communicate it so they know and can monitor!
Can definitely relate to not enjoying or celebrating successes. I used to hyperfocus a lot more but I've been made to feel in the past that I need to "settle down" and focus and I think I've got some shame around living the way I want to live.
Such an interesting topic and the more I learn, the more pieces start to fall into place.
Every job is boring after some point. I’ve just accepted that work is just a place I go to every day to pay my bills.
Understand that, I think people have different tolerances to boredom though. I know lots of people who can just show up, put in the hours and go home. For me, the work has be engaging or it feels physically uncomfortable, like I need to run out
This could be me sat there talking, resonating so much with me. I’ve recently realised that I must have ADHD. I haven’t tried to get a formal diagnosis so far as I don’t have a GP that I feel I can talk to about it. Don’t know whether to pursue a diagnosis or not as I don’t like the idea of medication. At the moment I’m working on strategies that work for me now that I understand why I do certain things and how my brain works / doesn’t work in specific situations
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter whether you get a formal diagnosis or not - the way you would manage your symptoms is the same.
There's no harm in getting yourself on the waiting list and in the meantime, learn as much as you can about the condition and see if you can make changes that help.
Look up "right to choose" as well - it might speed up your wait time :)
hhahah holy shit, me too dude. and here I was wondering why I resonated with your talks so much.
A friend (who also has ADHD) said that apparently people with ADHD are drawn to each other - maybe there's some truth to it?
Hey Jay, a lot of what you have been saying in your ADHD vids resonate with me. This year I have been looking into ADHD more and think I have it too as it all seems to explain a lot of how I have been for years now! Who did you use for the private assessment and roughly how much is it? I have been looking via NHS but the wait list in my area is 2 years!
Yeah NHS waiting lists are crazy - look up "right to choose".
I used a private Harley Street Physiatrist but it wasn't cheap.
You'd be looking at around £850 for the assessment, then you pay monthly for titration appointments while you figure out the best meds for you which are around £150 plus the cost of the meds which is around 100-200 again depending on the meds.
You'll probably be looking at around £2000+ before you've got everything sorted.
The idea is, once you have the right med and dose dialed in, you go to a thing called "shared care" with your GP who then prescribes your meds via NHS and then you only pay prescription fee which is around £9 I think.
I'll probably make a video on this at some point which goes into a bit more detail.
I feel like I am where you are in your journey in regards to applying for jobs but I didn’t get diagnosed yet and I aim to do so soon.
Test myself for ADHD and Autism just in case because my sister was diagnosed with both recently and I believe for the Autism it was “high functioning”.
I've seen autism and ADHD is quite a common pairing.
Job hunting is so tough because I feel like I've been here so many times - got all excited about a new job then lost all interest a few months later. Think I'm worried it's going to happen again.
The good thing is, the more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to make choices that suit our brains.
Thanks for sharing.
I could have adhd, who knows, Software development suites me well because every day its a new problem to solve, each project is a different challenge. There are some boring days but more often im excited by what im trying to solve and there is a lot of satisfaction when you build something that works and other people use
I was looking for ADHD-friendly jobs and software development comes up a lot for those exact reasons. Glad you found something that suits your brain and gives you a challenge, we all need that.
Same bro! Been waiting 5 months for medication. Another few months to potentially.
Great to hear you're on the journey man. Been on for a few days, been a bumpy ride so far but hopefully start to even out soon. Will be posting daily about the journey.
Mate, my brain works the same. I'm 49 now. Stop working for the man and work for YOURSELF! I can't stress this enough. Pick a business model and go for it. You'll be more focused and fulfilled cos it's your own thing. Even if you fail first time, the journey will be fun and you'll gain skills for the next run. Use the ADHD to your advantage. Also, get off the meds. Downward spiral.
what is the medication called and how often you have to take it ?
Check out the vid I just released, tells you all about it
curious what the medication is?
Stay tuned to the channel, going to be posting daily about my experience since starting this week.
Love you Jay! Marry me instead!
I love you Jay, please marry me!
algorytm mnie zaskakuje xD