I went through the whole alternative evolutions tree myself. Mostly in the punk/ various metal and hardcore scenes. Went from being a straight A student to a high school drop out due to bullying for being gay and an anxiety disorder that started to affect me at age 14. was a somewhat proficient metal guitarist shortly before other guitarist in band became addicted to opiates. Then I was an addict myself, a janitor who went to work high, got sober, then became an addict again on all the hard stuff- had a near death from fentanyl and got sober again. Now i’m attempting to recover what bridges I haven’t burned. Just learned how to drive, but already quit because it gives me panic attacks every time I am in traffic. I’ve had brief periods of peace in between all of this chaos, but the anxiety and possibly some other undiagnosed stuff being crippling has stayed a constant. Now I’m obsessed with rocks and geology, am on disability, and don’t care how I dress most of the time. Recently lost a nephew to suicide which was very hard to stay clean through, but I managed. Currently 3+ years sober with a partner who is beyond supportive in ways nobody ever has been for me before. Am making progress in finding out who I am, but ultimately what I’ve learned through it all is that I care about people too much to be a burden with my attempts at escapism. Turns out that I like to contribute in the ways I can. I just have to expose myself to the stuff that scares me in small increments that don’t totally overwhelm me. I’ve overcome quite a few hurdles in the last 3 years. I’m hopeful that the rest will come into place if I keep doing what I’m doing.
Trauma gets the better of us in so many ways, and it catches up to us too... its hard and painful... somedays can be easier than others, you just have to lean a little more on those who truly care about you. Keep working through it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
🎉 this is why my clothing feels like costumes🎉 thank you so much for your thoughts and feelings 🎉can't begin to tell you how much this helps🎉 much love and good vibes❤
Wow, that's funny, I do that too! I swung to such an extreme after my last depression that I thought I might be having a midlife crisis. But I'm also neurodivergent (tend to get completely obsessed with one thing, which becomes my happy place), and changing styles completely helped pull me back into a positive mindset. Thanks for posting!
If you don’t mind the look, I cut out the neck on all my t-shirts so I can actually wear them. Videos on UA-cam so you can learn to cut out the neck without looking bad.
i related heavily to the idea of picking up traits from those you admire or are around. its something that i can't seem to turn off, to the extent that i begin speaking and mannerism-ing the same way. such as picking up accents. its so embarrassing and i fear people think i am mocking them. but its an automatic response
Man, I don't know how the algorithm realized that we could be related, but it did! Today I was thinking about some topics that you mentioned, like about listening to nirvana or goth music, when I was feeling stressed on the last days during a business trip... Also the fact that I decided to have a long hair, now that I am a father of two and close to 40s... But listening to you, I could also remember about one though that I had, which was the ability to leave behind some personalities, like the alcohol and drugs addicted one and to incorporate new ones, like a Christian father and sports man ( some years ago, got obsessed with running, so I could to half marathon) . Maybe the secret for us is to pursue new and healthier personalities that could be incorporated to what we are, in a search for a more complete and healthy one
New Sub here. I am 53 years old and neuro-spicy. I have very clear traits / personalites, each with its own set of clothing style, music genres and hobbies.
Very interesting to hear your story. I'm autistic (being evaluated right now but they seem pretty certain I have it and already treat me as if I do even if I am not done with all the tests and such yet) but I don't have any personality disorder. I am however pretty sure my ex was developing cluster B traits when we were together (we met when she was a teenager), because I realized she was taking on aspects of my interests and personality while around me even when I tried my hardest to push her to develop her own interests and sense of self more. She cheated on me while we were together and I noticed she was doing the same thing around the guy she took an interest in and cheated on me with, where she suddenly began to like music he listened to etc. Compared to me, he probably wasn't as sensitive to the fact she took on other people's traits as I would never have wanted to push my own interests on her. Due to always having felt my interests never been quite socially acceptable or welcome, I'm extremely sensitive to that. Our relationship fell apart because of her mental health problems that just kept getting worse over time. I considered her narcissistic or BPD because she would do the love/hate thing to me where she would sometimes gush how I was the best or perfect person ever, and other times she'd act as if I was horrible because of a tiny thing she disagreed with.
Sorry to hear that, however, narcistic persomality disorder and Borderline are two different disorders. Yes there are co-morbidities, but the love/hate that youre describing is more in line with BPD, whereas in NPD, the affection is more or less a show. In BPD the individual actually feels the emotions theyre expressing. Theres a saying, BPD comes from being raised by a narcisist and narcisism comes from being raised by someone with BPD or HPD. Further, thank you for sharing about your potential diagnosis, however you should know that Autism isnt something you have. People are born Autistic, they dont develop it later and it cant/shouldnt be cured. Autistic is what you are (if it is so).
@smcornthwaite13 Well I genuinely think you are. I learned a lot just from this video. I think I might know why I have always been the way I am now when other people around me are not. No one else has ever mentioned the phases like you did.
P.S. My styles are emo/clubbing, yoga/cosmic, and corporate business 😅 I'm currently obsessed with a singer named Aime Simone and have gone so far as to order the same clothes as him 😅 That's the emo/clubbing one
Appreciate the honesty and transparency!
I went through the whole alternative evolutions tree myself. Mostly in the punk/ various metal and hardcore scenes. Went from being a straight A student to a high school drop out due to bullying for being gay and an anxiety disorder that started to affect me at age 14. was a somewhat proficient metal guitarist shortly before other guitarist in band became addicted to opiates. Then I was an addict myself, a janitor who went to work high, got sober, then became an addict again on all the hard stuff- had a near death from fentanyl and got sober again. Now i’m attempting to recover what bridges I haven’t burned. Just learned how to drive, but already quit because it gives me panic attacks every time I am in traffic. I’ve had brief periods of peace in between all of this chaos, but the anxiety and possibly some other undiagnosed stuff being crippling has stayed a constant. Now I’m obsessed with rocks and geology, am on disability, and don’t care how I dress most of the time. Recently lost a nephew to suicide which was very hard to stay clean through, but I managed. Currently 3+ years sober with a partner who is beyond supportive in ways nobody ever has been for me before. Am making progress in finding out who I am, but ultimately what I’ve learned through it all is that I care about people too much to be a burden with my attempts at escapism. Turns out that I like to contribute in the ways I can. I just have to expose myself to the stuff that scares me in small increments that don’t totally overwhelm me. I’ve overcome quite a few hurdles in the last 3 years. I’m hopeful that the rest will come into place if I keep doing what I’m doing.
Trauma gets the better of us in so many ways, and it catches up to us too... its hard and painful... somedays can be easier than others, you just have to lean a little more on those who truly care about you. Keep working through it, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Good for you. I went through a similar aesthetic evolution, was a musician, got bullied for generic weirdness. Punk rock saved my life. You?
Just reading the title and i have a feeling this is the exact video ive been looking for/needing to see.
Finally, the algorithm brings me someone I can relate to.
🎉 this is why my clothing feels like costumes🎉 thank you so much for your thoughts and feelings 🎉can't begin to tell you how much this helps🎉 much love and good vibes❤
Wow, that's funny, I do that too! I swung to such an extreme after my last depression that I thought I might be having a midlife crisis. But I'm also neurodivergent (tend to get completely obsessed with one thing, which becomes my happy place), and changing styles completely helped pull me back into a positive mindset. Thanks for posting!
If you don’t mind the look, I cut out the neck on all my t-shirts so I can actually wear them. Videos on UA-cam so you can learn to cut out the neck without looking bad.
I've been thinking about turning all my shirts into Henleys
Oh my! I’m a woman and I do this too. I just never thought about it. I can’t find anyone who will test me, but I am certain I have autism.
i related heavily to the idea of picking up traits from those you admire or are around. its something that i can't seem to turn off, to the extent that i begin speaking and mannerism-ing the same way. such as picking up accents. its so embarrassing and i fear people think i am mocking them. but its an automatic response
Man, I don't know how the algorithm realized that we could be related, but it did! Today I was thinking about some topics that you mentioned, like about listening to nirvana or goth music, when I was feeling stressed on the last days during a business trip... Also the fact that I decided to have a long hair, now that I am a father of two and close to 40s... But listening to you, I could also remember about one though that I had, which was the ability to leave behind some personalities, like the alcohol and drugs addicted one and to incorporate new ones, like a Christian father and sports man ( some years ago, got obsessed with running, so I could to half marathon) . Maybe the secret for us is to pursue new and healthier personalities that could be incorporated to what we are, in a search for a more complete and healthy one
I can most definitely relate, although I'm undiagnosed and I'm just now exploring me.
New Sub here. I am 53 years old and neuro-spicy. I have very clear traits / personalites, each with its own set of clothing style, music genres and hobbies.
Very interesting to hear your story. I'm autistic (being evaluated right now but they seem pretty certain I have it and already treat me as if I do even if I am not done with all the tests and such yet) but I don't have any personality disorder. I am however pretty sure my ex was developing cluster B traits when we were together (we met when she was a teenager), because I realized she was taking on aspects of my interests and personality while around me even when I tried my hardest to push her to develop her own interests and sense of self more. She cheated on me while we were together and I noticed she was doing the same thing around the guy she took an interest in and cheated on me with, where she suddenly began to like music he listened to etc. Compared to me, he probably wasn't as sensitive to the fact she took on other people's traits as I would never have wanted to push my own interests on her. Due to always having felt my interests never been quite socially acceptable or welcome, I'm extremely sensitive to that. Our relationship fell apart because of her mental health problems that just kept getting worse over time. I considered her narcissistic or BPD because she would do the love/hate thing to me where she would sometimes gush how I was the best or perfect person ever, and other times she'd act as if I was horrible because of a tiny thing she disagreed with.
Sorry to hear that, however, narcistic persomality disorder and Borderline are two different disorders. Yes there are co-morbidities, but the love/hate that youre describing is more in line with BPD, whereas in NPD, the affection is more or less a show. In BPD the individual actually feels the emotions theyre expressing. Theres a saying, BPD comes from being raised by a narcisist and narcisism comes from being raised by someone with BPD or HPD. Further, thank you for sharing about your potential diagnosis, however you should know that Autism isnt something you have. People are born Autistic, they dont develop it later and it cant/shouldnt be cured. Autistic is what you are (if it is so).
I think you've done a great job in knowing who you are. You're incredibly self aware 😁
you are so cool 😎
I cant tell if youre being serious or mocking me...
Im serious. I need friends like you 😁@@smcornthwaite13
@smcornthwaite13 Well I genuinely think you are. I learned a lot just from this video. I think I might know why I have always been the way I am now when other people around me are not. No one else has ever mentioned the phases like you did.
METALLICA
clothes choke me too. i'm dead
Is that a Skinny Puppy The Process tattoo on your left arm?
@@audreyburch6029 not sure I know what youre talking about...
Liar.
How am I a liar?
@@smcornthwaite13ignore them. That’s what’s called a cheap shot. They jab without providing anything to back it up. It’s a very insecure troll.
P.S. My styles are emo/clubbing, yoga/cosmic, and corporate business 😅 I'm currently obsessed with a singer named Aime Simone and have gone so far as to order the same clothes as him 😅 That's the emo/clubbing one
Thanks for sharing. I'm currently really into Lebanon Hanover and have been browsing their merch myself.