Finding Safety and Security After Betrayal | Over 50 & Flourishing
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- Опубліковано 7 кві 2024
- Today we're diving into the raw emotions of betrayal, trauma, and the path to healing. And I'm thrilled to have the wonderful Dr. Debi Silber, the heart behind PBT - Post Betrayal Transformation, here with us. Her passion for helping people regain trust in themselves and others is beyond inspiring. Join us as we explore practical ways to reclaim control over our lives after experiencing a breach of trust.
More From Debi:
thepbtinstitute.com/
open.spotify.com/show/6VRwZj8...
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When I realized there is no man that is worth ruining my health peace and joy over my healing began and now happily single ❤️
Me too.
I believe being single is so underrated! Enjoy!! ❤
@@liana2136 I agree and I do enjoy
Same here! ☀️
Co dependency was not mentioned but this is what sticks so many people in stage 3
I kept it from my daughter who was having her first baby that her father, my husband, well ex to be after 40 years of marriage was cheating , He Tried to deny it , wouldn’t talk about it. I didn’t tell anyone I went through two years of him denying it ,before I could find out the truth, and then leave .I got partial Alopecia from the stress . I wanted to be the strong one. I didn’t want anybody to know, so I ate my pain and gained a lot of weight and I’m having a lot of trouble losing it , but one thing I know is God was with me every step of the way or I would not have made it And I will not have hate, I will not have hate towards him.
UA-cam Alexandra Kay “Painted him Perfect.” This song sounds just like you and your situation. It’s so good. You will jam out in your car and cry! I have many times. Please listen!
My heart goes out to you. My father cheated on my mom after 35 years of marriage. She was with him from age 16. She only told me at first, and I was the only one who knew for a couple of months, at least. I’m sorry that you had to go through it alone. My mom is still not the same, and this happened in 2015, almost 10 years ago. She will be forever changed, but I have seen glimpses of her old self peek through over the years. However, there’s an underlying cynicism that I think will always be there. Sending love ❤
Sometimes it’s about forgiving yourself for putting yourself in a horrible situation
Definitely
I am going to a Betrayal trauma retreat in May! It’s been 3 years since I found out about the first affair (he had multiple,) and 2 years since my ex husband left me and our 4 year old (at the time.) I thought that with this much time past it would have gotten easier (the betrayal trauma,) but I still cry at cheating articles or any show I watch where I can see the other woman’s pain. I’m excited to go to the retreat and hopefully heal a part of my soul. Thank you so much for this interview!
Bless you for overcoming & getting the help needed to fully recover. 🙏🏼
Thank you for featuring this subject, Dominique. Dr. Silber is so correct in saying, 'death of the old' and 'birth of the new!' I experienced betrayal in my marriage and my husband and I forgave each other, we found God, and He healed us. Betrayal can be devastating, that is a fact, but learning to forgive and value the promises and vows we made to each other in marriage strengthened our relationship and the love we have for one another. My prayer is that God helps and heals those who have experienced betrayal through forgiveness, love, and renewal. There IS hope!!!♥️
Yes!
Hi Dominque this podcast was so very inspirational. So Many of us get stuck in a relationship where we are being betrayed. My ex husband betrayed me and did so much damage to me and our children. Thank goodness I found the strength to separate from him and through faith I was able to move on, although the going was tough. 😊😊
Probably the most important subject matter you have talked about on your channel! Betrayal from the one person you trust most in your life! It’s devastating ! Thank you Dominque.
This woman is talking about me. I’m really glad you did this podcast! Thank you both!
Glad it resonated!
I just went on to the doctor’s website. I’m going to do her program. I’ve been stuck for over 20 years after divorcing an abusive man. Thank you so much for this podcast, Dominique!❤🙏
Great! The program to do would be our Reclaim program-looking forward to seeing you there!
@@DebiSilberis it possible to join the program also online? I'm living in Europe...
Bless you. Praying for you.
So do I , 20 years of resisting , it is time i quit that
I pay for premium UA-cam to avoid commercials, yet here I am being annoyed by listening to commercials.
She is a different kind of person these days with no quality but just too pushy competing for more money. It is good when something has value . All these promos are something u can get if you sign up with the brands website directly. No need to pay her commission.
The whole internet is full of commercials. I have just accepted it as it isn’t changing any time soon
It took me 20 years to heal from the betrayals. Thank God I recovered! Family betrayals injure your soul more than anything else. My breakthrough came after I forgave the betrayers in my heart. Yes, when you forgive you’re healing yourself. God released my pain and anger. Only then could I move forward. That was 7 years ago. Excellent video.
So glad you healed!
I know there are some serious betrayals being accounted for here (and I've had my share) but my mind was immediately taken back to the time when I learned there was no Santa. I was devastated. My sister & I were raised in an abusive home & Santa was our only hope each year. It impacted me so much that I vowed to never fabricate the whole Santa lie for my own children. We found alternative creative ways to impart gifts to them at Christmas that did not require upholding a lie & the kids are better for it.
So true - forgiveness is so not about the other person. I think an important point about forgiveness, is that is does not mean you ever have to invite that person back into your life, you just acknowledge we are all flawed and hurt happens.
Exactly!
I knew I would have to grieve/process all the feelings when I broke off a toxic friendship, and it's so interesting how I went through all the stages mentioned here and have come out on the other side with a vibrant, joyful, peaceful life with treasured friends who are healthy, mutually supportive and inspirational.
Amazing!
It is the first time - I have written notes listening to a podcast. Valuable, valuable valuable.
Same!
I LOVE THAT!! So glad this could help you. Thank you so much for being here ♥️
So glad!
Oh boy this hit home for me. I have been in stage 3 for 30 years. I need to get to work so I can open my heart up to love again. I no longer want to be alone. This was an excellent presentation to help give me the confidence I need to move forward in my life and more happiness. Sharing my life with another person would be a wonderful thing.
30 years is WAY too long to be in Stage 3. You deserve to heal and move through Stages 4 and 5!
Words can’t describe how helpful this was for me! Been struggling with a huge betrayal and impending separation. Just amazing! She knows her stuff! All rings true!❤
So glad to hear this.. no one talks about it because it’s so embarrassing when it happens to you and yet nobody understands it…I went through this journey 10 years ago .. and interestingly enough… my husband and I are stronger than ever.. like my husband says.. he knows what a heart feels when it bleeds. Love the way you talk about it.. THANK YOU for your honesty 😊
This is a very helpful video. The trauma of betrayal so well described, probably the most accurate description I’ve heard. I’m going into the 7th year since finding out, and I believe I’m in stage 3. I’d been slowly progressing, but feeling stuck and was just in prayer yesterday for God to please help heal my broken heart and to guide me into healing. This was very eye opening for me. Thank you both so much!🕊🤗❤️
So glad it helped!
I absolutely needed to see this today. I went through a terrible divorce that left me a shell of myself. I hadn't ever been at such a low dark place in my life ever before. Thanks ❤
Glad it helped!
I'm 25 years passed first betrayal. 13 years passed the second which led to divorce. I live in fear. I am not unhappy. I just don't feel safe to ever being in a relationship again.
I hope you can move through the stages and open yourself up for love. You deserve it 💕
That's not fair to you-you deserve to feel safe, loved, cherished, valued. That's what happens when you move through Stages 4 and 5.
This is probalby the most helpful podcast I've ever watched. Thank you!
So glad!
Stuck since divorce 17 years ago. Survived, raised my kids and now here I am…lost.
Yesterday, 4/8, was the 6 year anniversary of my betrayal. My ex was a covert narcissist cheating with over 20 women when I found out. This is so timely!
I am finally entering into stage 5. I also just turned 50 in March as well so lots of milestones!
Thank you Dominic and Debi for this podcast! We are definitely not alone and can thrive post betrayal 🙏☀️❤️
Very hard time to go through betrayal. Listening to someone on tv. They said , it's not your fault if you can't be the person your partner wants. I instantly healed . I sat searching for the pain of misery I knew. It never came back. I perhaps just ready to heal. Hope this may help someone in some way.❤
I have been waiting forever….for somebody to broach this subject matter! Thank you!
Hope it helped!
I have shared this with family. Thank you so very much. It was a help to myself as well going through divorce…then going from soccer mom/entrepreneur to certified traveling crane (International Union of Operating Engineers Local 103 Indianapolis Indiana)operator (as an empty nester)
Dominque you have no idea how much you have helped me over the years with UA-cam videos and now the podcast!! ❤
By the way I’m loving Good Morning on Merit Street ❤
I apologize for adding the Good to the name of your morning show 😮. But still loving the show 😂❤
Thank you so much for finding this great woman and exposing us to her Dominque, your generosity in searching to provide info and support to this community is brilliant. It was a really useful conversation.
I believe too that not everyone wants to find "love" with a partner especially when one has already experienced it. Learning to love ourselves in itself is all we need to live a peaceful, joyful, meaningful, and fulfilling life. We can't or shouldn't depend on someone else to bring that to us. It's a lot of work being in a relationship or having a companion. Everything is compromise and double the work. Now that I'm older, I personally don't like living on someone else's clock. Many women spend their youth on raising children and taking care of the whole family, and household, thereby, putting off their dreams. Sadly, many dreams go by the wayside.
what an IMPORTANT issue. and so little talked about. thank you SO MUCH !!! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing 🙏 I recently experienced a betrayal by my adult daughter and I realized I have been betrayed by every person I trusted in my life…my mom, my dad, my stepdad, my husband, my sister. I have been stuck in stage 3 my whole life, I’m 68 yrs. Old!😢
Amazing parallel to feelings and symptoms after losing an adult child to alcoholism. I’ve had so many of the health issues mentioned and I’m almost positive there’s a direct correlation. I’ve looked for help by searching “complicated grief”, but nothing else has come close to the “aha” moments I’ve had while listening to this podcast. Thank you!
Dominique, I would love for you to consider interviewing Lysa Turkurst. She is an author and speaker with a large following. Her story of betrayal and forgiveness and boundaries and how she journeyed back from betrayal is amazing. I really think you would appreciate her story. Hugs to you.
This is an incredible important issue in everybodies life. Who was not betrayed at and felt that shame and unworthyness. And because it is so shameful we do not talk about it. Dr. Debi Silver does. This is really courage, thank you !
This is so accurate. Part of what is difficult as someone who has done and continuing to do the work is finding a partner who is in the same mindset. So many people are complacent with staying unhealed.
Crazy great, always right on time!
Thank you so much! ❤❤❤
This has been such an incredible interview. Thank you so much ❤
This was an amazing interview. I have followed this woman on social media for a long time, but it makes a lot more sense to me now with you interviewing her and asking the right questions! Dominique, you are the best!
Thank you for this pod cast,needed it.I do isolate myself and I don,t allow anyone into my life walls are higher and thicker than ever,I don't know if I will ever get to stage 5
We need to try. One step at a time. Blessings to you!
@@madelinekimbro2440 I am trying,Ive actually taking better care of myself,getting out to walk more,eating better,and I'm liking myself again
Be good to yourself, if you made it this far, go all the way❤
Yes you can...whenever you decide you're ready.
Best so far! Relatable to everyone.
I’m so glad you all discussed the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation (or rebuilding, as Dr. Debi calls it). I’ve seen so many people go through life refusing to forgive an offender, not realizing that they are continuing to dig themselves deeper and deeper into internal (and often external) despair, anger, unhappiness. It’s certainly no way to go through life, but the steps laid out in the podcast were very informative & helpful.
I really appreciated what Dr. Debi had to say, and I’m sure it will give many people hope for a more joyful & positive future. Thank you both! 🙏❣️
Glad it resonated!
I moved back in with my ex husband and found myself in the same situation I was in before I divorced him. I had him have a complete psychological examination, et cetera. I am now in stage three but recently found an apartment to move into. This video has been enormously helpful to me! Especially since I'm leaving a large home to go live in a one bedroom apartment. It's weird but I'm going to swim all the way this time to the island!
Love this woman… it is so clear to me now how I have been repressing and staying stuck… fear is definitely an issue. We deserve better but we don’t see it.. until desperation sets in… thanks Dominique… you have no idea how much you help us ❤
So glad you're seeing it more clearly. Now it's time to heal!
Dominique & Dr Debi!!! WOW you both hit this outta the park!! Fantastic XO
THIS!! By far, the best video yet!! EXCELLENT!!
Dominique, such a great podcast, things that a person suffering from
Betrayal would not think of on their own,the Dr really unravels some great solutions.
So glad it resonated.
My husband's sister and my son betrayed us.....we were so heartbroken, so devastated and, hurt. Then we were angry and the disbelief that these people would do this to us. We may be wrong, but we avoid them which is sad, too.
I’m sorry. 😢 Wishing you healing ❤️🩹
@chicanica64
Thank you...we need it!!
Susan
I have a friend dealing with the most unimaginable betrayal, and we are discovering just how much of a MONSTER her husband truly is.
This was so beautiful and eye opening. Thank you Dominique for bringing this beautiful doctor on for us. And Dominique, you get more beautiful inside and out every day. ♥🤗
Dominique such a fantastic podcast with such incredible inspiring helpful information.
I pray all women , especially young or older find themselves encouraged , happy, blessed 🙌 & can move mountains with their self worth. Excellent, Thank you so much ..
This couldn’t have came up at a better time. Thank you Dominque and Debi!!
Absolutely insightful podcast... wow! I am truly grateful for this. Thank you Dominique and Dr. Silber ❤
This was a great podcast. Thanks for having Debbie on! ❤
This has been very powerful! Thank you.
I'm sure this was a very helpful conversation for so many. It makes any situations I have been in throughout life seem minor. I would like to add you both are beautiful women of courage. Dominique, your skin looks so very beautiful!
Wow. This is so accurate :-( She is so good. Will check her book/s out. Thankyou Dominique for getting Dr Debi on the show.
Trust Again is about the 5 Stages, From Hardened to Healed is if after that, you find yourself stuck in Stage 3.
Thanks Dominique and Dr. Silber , loved this podcast! Thanks very much.
Wow. Wonderful wonderful positive perspective on human nature !!! Fortunately, my ex and were both betraying each other. We confronted and forgave other and moved on. We are still good friends. Had 3 children and I went out on a limb and told them the truth. I think it hurt terribly at the time but now THEY understand. Truth and forgiveness always WIN. Hugs
Great interview! Thanks to both of you!💐
This was fabulous information!!
Thank you so much for this! This was so helpful and I can't wait to get the books.
It was hurtful because the person knowingly elected to do what they did...they decided of their own volition to do it.
I’m excited, this is gonna be so good! Love you Dominique.❤
Aloha DOMINIQUE l hope alls well with you I see you moved from Houston to How about them Cowboys DALLAS that is Stay safe and blessed always 💋
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😢
Ku u h666j66666ju u@@user-rm5bb6vj5k
Dominique, your podcasts keep getting better and better!❤
Thank you, what a so on spot conversation.
I took one class in integrating the spirit soul and body into wholeness and wanted to create a counseling program to help others understand how we are created as a triune being. While I wanted my research as a doctoral student to be faith based, I did not get what I needed from a seminary. I’m glad she did the research and has viable info that everyone can benefit from.
ALOHA DOMINIQUE LOOKING GORGEOUS AS EVER XOXOXO❤🔥🩷🙏🩷🙌🏽💚🏄🏼⭐️💚💎🌟🩷
Incredible. Thank you for featuring this subject, Dominique.
What a fascinating podcast. Dominque this was so good. We’ve all been there. Thank you once again for making us realize we’re enough and we will survive and THRIVE💕
Hello Dominique ,Dr. Silber was spot on with everything she said. I really learned a lot from her and the way she worded every situation was Awesome. so many of us women go through life with struggles and disappointments and we try to be strong but sometimes we just need that advice from another person to help us out, because you can't do it by yourself.even when you have Jesus you still need that human voice to share what is happening to you and how you need to push through it. thank you for sharing the truth and God bless you both.🥰😉😇
WOW!!! Enjoyed and learned so much!! I think I need the stages book! Great podcast Ladies!!!!💕
Excellent and so helpful. Thank you!
I found this podcast so helpful! I'm stuck in stage 3. How I am feeling finally makes sense after all of this time. Thank you Dominique and Dr. Silber!
OMG this one hit home. Thanks so much....Love from Canada
Thank you for this!
Two amazing women!! Thank you❤
Great job, with this discussion, Dominique and Dr. Silber! I was invested, in this discussion, from beginning 2 end 🧡
Thank you so much, Dominique and Deddy! Such a great and helpful interview! Beautiful and amazing ladies ❤️❤
Thank you!
Thank you so much for this podcast! So needed....I will look into this program...been stuck for decades from multiple betrayals old and new.
Such a powerful and helpful interview. Thank you.
So glad you liked it!
So much value, great podcast.
Thank you both of you.
Looking gorge Dominique and thank you for this podcast.❤
What a show. Wow wee. She is amazing. Going to find her podcast asap
You rock, Dominque. I hope you continue to get the support you deserve so you can continue to support the rest of us
Oh thank u so much Dominque for sharing this and all of the areas u cover on this podcast! I am sure I will listen to it again! I was through a horrible breakup, he got everything, he cheated n I was blamed for it solely as I had went through a trauma n I was stuck for atleast 10 years with that, it was heartbreaking n crippling n yes I didn’t know what to do, how to get up on the inside n how to get past it n now I stuck again in work/ financial situations as I don’t know the technology n want time to do other things in this stage of my life to not have to go back to college to learn all this, no kids either that are being raised w/ it! Taking care of aging parents too so it’s hard to get caught up, it’s a lot of extra responsibilities that can’t be said no to, so especially for women as the caregivers, etc. could u also do a podcast on these types of things that I just mentioned? I do believe it would be beneficial to others! Great video n appreciate the resources n help, great guest, THANK U, to u both! 😊❤️🎁💕⭐️
Fabulous, Fantastic, Woken Up !!! Wow, this was what I needed to hear Now!! Heading into stage 4 and finding myself slipping some days into stage 3, I finally rallied my 2 besties to help me get to stage 4 knowing I HAD TO HAVE THE PUSH because I am ready. Thank you, thank you for having this talk. Blessings to everyone, Lori
This was great..so interesting. Thank you so much.
thank you for this
So great! Really hits home . Great job! You’re flourishing!🎉
Stuck in stage 3
Great video, thanks.
Thank you so much. Such a great, practical, life-changing information.
So glad it resonated.
Best show EVER❤ I learned so much, thank you and God bless you both
Thank you again for an outstanding guest
Great information…this video will help so many… Sending love hugs prayers and kindness with positive energy.♥️🙏🏼🌹🦋👍🏼
Awesome podcast! Great information shared - thanks to you both!
This was such an intelligent, insightful journey into betrayal. I even stayed up past my bedtime to listen to this. You get several gold stars for this podcast and the one on trust which I thought was your best ever. I hope everything is going well with you in your new endeavor at Merit Street. 3 cheers!
Thank you so much for this!!!
WOW…..information overload. Such great news… affirmation….thank you for this! 👍🏼
This was great! Thank you, Dominique. Another person who might interest you and this group is Amy Chan, who developed "The Breakup Bootcamp". She has a similar story of betrayal followed by peronal growth. She is someone I admire.
Great conversation!! I feel forgiveness is #1. Thank you for your hard work.
Thank you!
What a great guest! Related Topic Suggestion: what and how much to tell the children. TY