My Friends Don't Get What Being Single After 60 Means... Here's What I Want Them to Know!
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- My Friends Don't Get What Being Single After 60 Means... Here's What I Want Them to Know!
Is being single really the same at every age? Is the whole idea of "senior dating" just a marketing gimmick... a trick designed to separate us from our money?
Or, is it possible that being single after 60 really IS different?
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Today, I'd love to dig into this fascinating topic with you. I'd love to hear about your successes and challenges with dating at our age. And I'd love to know if anyone in your circle of friends has found true love after 60.
Do you think that being single after 60 is different than at other ages? Why? Let's have a chat!
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I've been single my whole life. Around 37 I realized I simply kept attracting a "type" that wouldn't make me very happy (nor would I make them happy) and would probably lead to divorce. Fast forward to 66, and I'm very happy. I have married and single friends of all types and ages, some closer than others. Having survived many family losses, but still feeling grateful and at peace. Lots of inner work, but well worth the outcome at this stage of life - contentment, self-acceptance, self-love, compassion, kindness, humor, fun. It's a wonderful life.
I've been single since my divorce 25 years ago, and I'm thriving in it. Men my age are wrecks, so I keep busy with work I choose, relationships I choose, and a schedule I choose. I have traveled, moved around, and my grown children are the family I have left.
I haven''t started dating after a divorce. How are men wrecks. Just curious. I'm 58 almost 59.
@@lifetobelived9102 I'm not in my 60s, I'm 75, and at this age they're going going gone.
@@shechaiyah6869 Do you date younger then? Yes it is even harder to date at your age. The ratio of men to women is 1 to 4 but I had a woman in her 70s say that ratio is actually not as bad as that because so many women just give up.
@@lifetobelived9102 I gave up.
@@shechaiyah6869 Oh dang.
Been divorced for 38 years. It's very hard to meet decent men. Lots of baggage. I struggled for many years wanting to remarry. Now I'm ok with it.
Grieving a divorce or a death especially if it was a shock is a long journey. I was married 30 years. Was with my husband 34 years. It took me 12 years to pretty much totally heal and get myself stable and on a better track. It takes time. Do not date. Do get help with groups, churches, friends, counseling. Bringing romance into your life too early muddies the waters and interferes with healing properly. Need to love yourself and concentrate on growth. There are no short cuts to grief. There's no exact timetable but I can tell you that the longer you were with someone and how things end play a big part on the length of the journey. Grieving caused the biggest inner growth inside of me. It is transformative and necessary
Laura Walker it is a long process; been there, too. I've never been the same without him, but, I'm.still here. It gets lonely, but, you learn to keep living, somehow.
EXACTLY !!!
With all these replies, I’d still like to see where the women are located. Perhaps we could make friends and meet these “voices” in person. Holidays are right around the corner. Margaret spoke about parties and gatherings in this video. Just thought it’d be helpful
@@cynthiasymons368 I am in Massachusetts
I have been widowed almost 7 years now and I am 65. I thank my lucky stars that my 4 closest friends are single also. It is definitely different to be a singleton out there now days.
If something happens to my hubby, I don't intend to remarry. I will be alright financially and I have family. Women can travel by themselves and I can fix stuff in the home. May sell the home and do something different... lol 😂🤣. If I go before hubby, he will be alright, too. If he were to remarry that is fine, too. I have a divorced friend and, as we were packing up her stuff to move out, we had a divorce party. I brought over food, pop, and a cake that I had the word "Freedom" put on the cake. She was glad that I was there with her. Made the moving day easier on her. She moved out if the family home. She has a guy that is good to her now and she is happy. We are still great friends and we text lots. Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season and take care.
You are a good friend!
@@laurawalker546 my friend left an abusive marriage. Alcoholic ex-husband . She is happy now and in a much better living situation. 🌞
@@georgiannmaloney6594 every situation is different. And thank goodness your friend didn't waste her whole life with that person!
Georgiann Maloney Sounds like you’re one of the lucky ones. Many women are not.
Don't try to match me up. I am going steady with me!
Laura Yale YES! I even bought myself a pretty ring..not waiting for some man to do it! ;-)
@@roseyc.5846 OOOO, love that idea! I am quite affluent. I could buy myself a huge sapphire, my favorite stone!
Laura Yale Do it, I say. Why wait for men to buy us pretty things when we can do it for ourselves?
Bravo
This gives me a lot of insight of how my mom might be feeling at age 63 and being divorced for 6 years after being married for 33 years, she is much happier divorced from dad! I myself, being single at age 33, i can’t even imagine how mom feels being single at age 63!! I make sure I always involve my mom in my life and include her in holidays and even help her meet new guys her age:). She lives with me at the moment and I help her as well as her helping me as we are both single at our respective ages!:) I really love this youtube channel and appreciate all the videos and pass this on to mom, my aunties and the Canberra, capital of Australia facebook community group called the Canberra Notice Board!:) Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you!:) love jess
DJ Lev i am sure you are the most important person to them too!!:) xxx
I tried to comment yesterday but it doesn't seem to have worked so I'll try again. Sorry if this somehow duplicates! I think women who become single later in life my be shocked about being treated the way they may have treated singletons the whole time they were married. Those of us who have been single all our lives have known how it feels to be socially ostracized for most of our adult lives. Maybe those who were previously married can be sure to pass along lessons they've learned now that they are single to their children/grandchildren. It may help to prevent future lifelong singles from feeling so isolated and left out. ALL singletons should be treated and included as the equals they, in fact, are.
More than half of adults are single now--it's changed in the past few years. But I know what you mean as I could have gotten married but stayed single, often with boyfriends, and have been treated as odd at times for being single. A neighbor's husband died and she became single for the first time in her adult life--she said it was eye opening to have to fill up all her time herself and no longer have a partner for dinner, travel etc.
If you would like to be a "nurse with a purse" there are thousands of men out there willing to take you up on that offer. Of course, most are leeches (IMHO) but you certainly will have a companion for the rest of their lives. A friend of mine has been thru two losers in the past 5 years but she has finally realized that single is way better than used!
Laura Yale YES! I'd rather stay single for whatever time is left to me; no caretaking. I did it for my husband after his heart attack, but, I refuse to be a nurse or a purse!
Laura Yale Why does she think those are her only two choices??
Laura Yale sadly I’m in that boat. In my mind we’re helping each other. 🤦🏽♀️. I think I need professional help.
@@eptunes3616 Sorry to hear. Maybe you should get advice from a professional about disentangling.
Not all men are physically broken after 60. And not all women are pictures of health post 60.
Ten years ago divorced and ostracized by my church, I lost most of my friends. My ex still attended but the kids and I felt weird; sit in the same pew or another? The church supported him with $ & food, even though he had been abusive to us and I had the kids, for which he wouldn't support. I was too busy as a single parent to be lonely, but the hypocrisy of this situation wasn't lost on me.
A decade down the road, the kids turned out great & I am free to do as I want. I will NEVER marry again, I'm 62, and while I haven't developed a lot of friendships, I am content. No matter what your age, people seem to fear reaching out to female divorcees; my guesses would be they don't want to get caught in an emotional situation, stuck with childcare or worry "she" will attract the attention of their husband. While this is all hogwash, it is a lonely road... my solution was to reinvent myself and get a dog.
Dust Bunny I say, "BRAVO" to you!!
Oh sweetie, im sorry, but, please remember not all that go to church buildings read The Bible nor do they follow it.....im here to listen.....
Right. But a lot of married women think so.
So sad this happened to you.
So how do those of us who have experienced this meet.....just to see were not alone ?
I guess "this" is how we know were not alone !😉
I have four senior boyfriends that I go on dates with and they call me very frequently and tell me what they watched on TV, about their projects, and about how they are going to clean up and remodel their homes so I can move in...LOL.
Yup, that is men for you. You listen to them and they rarely ask about you and your life. If I find one who listens to me and asks about me, I might go out on a date with him but doubt I will ever live with a man again. Why bother?
MARILYNANDERSON88 maybe they are thinking that they need someone to take care of them. If they were younger they wouldn't even mention your moving in with them 😂
@@laurayale369 they are each rather deaf and turn up the volume; that deafens me as well,plus they SNORE!
@@laurayale369 That is so true--so many of them think very highly of themselves.
Divorced.....big deal !
There are ladies who have been single their entire lives . You know the ones, the ones that can change a lightbulb or a plug! Learn to depend on no one but yourself and appreciate your plus one as just that... a plus one. You are enough!
Eileen Frank AMEN, SISTER!!
That would be me; I could have gotten married but am too danged independent.
I sometimes wonder if the reluctance of married women to include those of us who are content in our singularity might stem from a place of fear. Because it starts them taking a closer look at their own situations. Introspection can be a scary thing. Just a thought.
I wonder about it too. I think also they worry that the negativity will spread to them. They become phobic
Andrea Dalton NO DOUBT!
I agree, and I suspect that there may be insecurity if they think their husband might start viewing our newly single, possibly up-leveling selves as more attractive.
Laura Walker YES!!
Yes.....
I never married. I have two feline housemates. I am 66.
I am 58, never married and would never give up my freedom! My two kitties are sufficient.
Me too. I am 65... never married. Probably, I am an ace, never have a crush on anybody.
I'm single and 60......never been married..........I do have a 25 year old daughter from a previous relationship, a boyfriend, not a husband. It's hard to be alone and raise a child, but I did have a lot of help from my parents.
Divorced women are not after their married friend's husband . I have come across that situation.
We should be honest with them and tell them that in most cases we really pity them.
Oh Yes ! Goodness me sometimes I feel like the enemy. I actually finally researched poaching lol as it’s called . It’s rather common but I suspect with younger people . Men are more inclined to do it , I think .
I've had that 'issue' come up too. Infuriating, to say the least.
Clarification- Especially when one is NOT a divorced, single woman but simply single. That was my situation.
@@reginapolo3357 I'm not sure that would be a kind thing to say. It's like telling your friend she made poor choices, both choosing him and staying with him.
I have been divorced 24 years..dated around and had some long term boyfriends. I have finally found one I want to be with. We have been living together for 2 years and dated for 5. I enjoyed being alone after the kids grew up and left. I enjoyed dating and meeting new people. I left some couples who didn't want to be friends but most did. I was there when some of them broke up and could be helpful. Life is funny that way. I didn't really plan to be with someone this late in life.
I have been a widow for almost two years. Over the last couple of months, I have literally shared a similar message with couples with whom my husband and I were friendly. (This was a ‘rain into,’ not ‘included’ setting.) They just don’t want to hear it - and I include a church elder in the mix.
Just be nice to people on a day to day, it costs nothing, remember life can be so hard.
As the character Rocky said “life is not always sunshine, and rainbows”.
There are also women who never married...do they not have value or feelings?
Cheryl McNutt that’s right, but for some reason here they are don’t seem to be included
Those of us who never married seem to be invisible even on this site. I think it's the feeling that so many have (whether they want to admit it or not) that those of us who never married somehow never grew up. However, when marrieds become single and realize all the skills it takes to do it successfully, they often give themselves credit without thinking to turn to forever singles and give us credit too. Hopefully, this will begin to change with younger generations.
By the time today's generation reaches 60 marriage will be obsolete.
I am 64 and Single but I am happy
Margaret, what a wonderfully relevant topic! It's quite the journey, for certain. I find widowhood lonely; I still miss him, after 26 years. I was engaged to someone. I had met 6 years later; however, things took a left, and we broke up. Both are now deceased, and here I am. All these men here in the states seem.to be seeking much younger women.."eye candy", if you will. I've given up my dream of having a male companion with whom to share my later years. Yes, married women are terrified of widows for several reasons; very sad. Whatever moments of joy we can shore up, we have to do it on our own. Not much of a social life, but I try to do my best every day and accept what seems impossible now to change. Thank you SO much for giving us a voice to discuss the "hard stuff". You look lovely in that color! Rosemarie xo
No regrets in leaving my long term partner years ago . Being single sometimes has brought some very difficult challenges . Having chronic ill health I will be the first to admit sometimes I would love to have a partner . Also Being a carer for my adult child for years meant I was consistently giving . I can’t believe how strong I’ve had to be at time’s . I have never considered myself as a strong person . Single Male friends have often been more supportive than females , just my experience of course . Still I do enjoy many aspects of being single . I’m so free and wouldn’t give it up easily . Love it when Barbara Streisand said in the Movie Guilt Trip , I want to eat M & Ms in bed . Hugs to All 💞 I’d like to tell a few funny stories about my past dating but fear I might offend .
Older Women Rock I would love to hear your stories, personally! I have a few, too. :-)
Rosey C. You first lol I’m sure a few would like to hear my dating stories , I have some amusing one that didn’t seem that funny at the time .
Please do tell!
That colour of coral looks lovely on you Margaret.
I AM A VERY YOUTHFUL 79 YEAR OLD IT TOOK A FEW YEARS TO ACCEPT BEING SINGLE AND I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BECOME HAPPY CONTENT BEING SINGLE BUT GUESS WHAT I RATHER BE ALONE BUSY WRITING WORKING ON MY UA-cam CHANNEL AND I ONLY DATE YOUNGER MEN...I SEE MANY MARRIED COUPLES MISERABLE I WAS MARRIED 2X GOOD MEMORIES IS WHAT I FOCUS ON CONTENT BEING ALONE I HAVE A GREAT LIFE
That is why people should cultivate their own friendships, and put the work in that is required. Work and compromise is required in all relationships. If someone was a good friend to me while they were married, I will be a good friend to them when they are single. I have not been married and have a lot of single and married friends.
As a sidebar to the topic of kindness and divorce, I would like to encourage all women in my network to be mindful of kind words. I have been divorced for over 30 years (wow, time does fly when you are having fun 😂). I do not refer to my “former” husband as my “EX” and I cringe when others refer to him and their former partners as an EX because it is negative and disrespectful in so many ways and to so many people including Self. I don’t want to lecture, but words do matter. In this case, removing “EX” from our vocabulary is good for our own frame of mind, our feminine dignity, and protection of our positive energy. I wish you all the very best in connecting with others whether or not in a partnership or an alternative such as a supportive women’s network.
I agree. If you view "ex" as negative, use another term to indicate that he's no longer your husband (like prior, former) to avoid confusion.
Patricia Muir it is just a word. Personally I don't find anything wrong with "ex" plus I cannot even call him by his name as he did me so much harm. Definitely an EX!
I couldn't agree more. The term "my EX" sounds cutting and mean. I've never used that term and never will. After 22 yrs apart, he is still "the man I was married to" in formal situations; and among those who know I have a sense of humor, I refer to him by his name or as "my was-band." I also don't believe in using any kind of pejoratives about him.
My guess is that most older women become single due to widowhood, not divorce.
macpduff HOW RIGHT YOU ARE! Usually, we are widowed. We don't want to start over, whereas older men don't mind seeking out much younger women. Well...here's to us!
With the statistics showing nearly
a 50% divorce rate, that is not an
accurate assumption. I always
think how sadder it is for a widower, woman or man, to have had their loving partner taken from them by illness or accident. It doesn't seem fair that two people who love eachother should be torn apart. There seems to be more pity or feeling sorry for them. Whereas with a breakup of a marriage, there is again the loss of
what should have been a lifetime
loving partner but there was a decision that was made, often by
one, to end and leave the marriage.
This leaves the one, often devastated, hurting, depressed, and lonely and now with major trust issues to deal with as well.
You are often no longer together because the one made an active and deliberate decision to leave,
especially when they've left for
another person. Feelings of not being good enough or of self blame have to be dealt with beside the lonliness, sadness, depression and grief. People may assume there the same, but they're not.
Susan murrell having seen both sids of the coin I totally agree with you, my first husband left me age 24 with 2 young kids for another woman, I was devastated to be cast off like an old slipper and it kind took a long time to get over and trust again, when I lost my second husband of 20yrs not only was I devastated but also broken-hearted because he didn’t leave me by choice, but we women are strong 💪 and we never know just how strong till adversity hits us, stay strong my friends we are all here for each other X
You are right.I lost my husband 25 yrs.ago and I knew I would never marry. I have a friend(man) and that is enough for me.
Hello there!I am so pleased I found this community! I am sixty in June and am being retired for some medical reasons. My husband left for a younger woman 7 yrs ago and I now live with my 91 yr old mum... things are tricky and I have already got so much help from your channel.. my married friends don't bother with me anymore.. they did for a bit, but they said I wasn't the same!! Well, no!!! I am working my way through all your videos and they're great!! Haven't been on any dates or anything... no one shown any interest and to be honest, I think I'm best on my own. Who would want someone who lives with their mother anyway!! Thanks so much for all your helpful advice!! x
Absolutely beautiful color on you!
I’ve never been married and I am 67. I have an amazing life.
My daughter's husband divorced and re-married, the stepmother seems to despise me and I no longer can visit, and my grandchildren are suddenly behaviorial problems. She seems predisposed to have a very cruel attitude towards my daughter and my own loving and being there to help my grandchildren,
Although I am a happy single woman over 60, I have been widowed for 30 years. and divorced for 3. Being widowed, is much harder to get friends and keep them. People assume that widows are after their husbands, they don't want to be one and fear that it is "catching" and they are embarrassed how to act around you.
Pat Manchester YOU NAILED IT!! Thank you.
Please know you are not alone and hit the nail on the head....
Very true I was put through hell with a jealous neighbour who thought her husband fancied me or I him, I eventually moved as it was making me ill my nerves were in shreds I have been in my new place 2 months touch wood I'm doing great..
The sad thing is I wouldn't have their husbands for all the money in the world but the woman misses out on your friendship because she's terrified you'll "take her man".
Happy New Year Margaret and to all your fans.
It goes the opposite way too. Everyone in my group is single & when I met someone I was ostracized(covid helped). I saw from other friends that the new man had to be liked & accepted & if he didn't play by some unwritten rulebook the lady got booted until she met someone more to the groups liking(or stays single). This has led to secret BFs(not taking the men out in public, dating in other cities, only taking the men to places the friends are sure not to be, etc.). WTH? is all I can say....
There are meetups for older singles, when your married friends shun or abandon you. Lots of book club meetups and so on as well. I would avoid dating apps in general. They don't work.
Meetups w no "extra curricular activities"....
Lol !
when we divorced in 1979 i was 29 we had 7 couple friends only one couple remained my friend in fact i had some so called friends that would not answer my phone call or answer the door i was so hurt over that i just did not understand ...
I will never understand that behavior
After hubby passed....every single couple friend we had disowned me...not one stuck by me....easier by myself anyhows....
@@dewuknowHIM I truly do not understand that behavior AT ALL
Sounds like bad friends!!
Best to be your own best friend and not rely on others for how good life can be. Do much self-care to develop a good frame of mind for when you go places and reach out to people. That way you’ll magnetize their friendship and desire to spend time with you. Keep the mantra that if you’re in a funk call others to lift them up or do or say something to make their day.
Think of divorce simply as an end of chapter of a long life story. Embrace divorce to mean the relationship was simply a season, no big deal.
Great talk!!! Ps, Love your haircut!
Ladies: If you all like singlehood, that's wonderful. But, I am plagued with thoughts of dying alone, no one to care for, or about, me. We surely cannot depend on our busy, adult children, if we have them! Can most of us afford lovely, senior living communities? Often..no. Then, what?
If you want to care for someone, there are literally hundreds of older men around you who will take you up on that offer! Just put the word out or better yet, become an elder care giver and find one.
Laura Yale What??
Rosey C. It can be hard. Besides senior housing there are senior groups to join or attend. Play bridge? Quilt? Reading groups? Walking group? By reaching out- although challenging you won’t be so alone. You may meet a new friend with your same concerns and maybe you can buddy up and look out for each other. Sure, easier said than done but it’s better to try than remain alone. Best to you.
most are in denial of their fear and their emptiness and your honesty is unsettling to those who live in denial
Rosey c I have the same fears, my daughters live hundreds of miles away and I very rarely hear from them, not even a regular phone call, I could be lying dead for weeks and no one would know x
W
Happy New Year Margaret! I usually enjoy listening to your blogs. I feel that this one sort of makes divorced women a "special case" because you haven't mentioned women who lose their husbands suddenly when they are in their 60s. I was 64 & married to my husband for 43 years. There is a massive shift in attitudes towards you as a single person just the same. You become an "odd number " (Cruse quote) which I have found to be true. I received absolutely no support from my family what so ever. I was and still on my own. It's the type of hurt that you live with daily. I am 70 now and have learned to live with it....but I don't believe divorcees have it harder. They have a choice, people who have lost their husbands or wives don't. Some people even avoid you because they don't want to see or deal with someone else's grief. I feel very strongly about this & sometimes it is less hurtful to try to form your own life. Fortunately I have hobbies & do things myself. Doesn't stop me feeling vulnerable or make me miss my lovely, honest & dependable husband any less. My whole point here is I don't necessarily think that people who divorce have it harder. I think single people face challenges. The person in grief however have to got on with it with the grief. Luckily I have a very good & lovely Son. He is much like his dad was, hardworking, kind, honest & dependable. I don't rely on him & I like to be independent. My husband was my best friend, he was diagnosed with lung cancer & had died within two weeks.
Hi Amanda - so very sorry for your loss - i can only imagine how you must feel - take good care - sending you extra hugs!! xx
So sorry for your loss, I lost my husband over 30yrs ago bringing 3 children up of ours kept me busy, I'm still single. Happy new year.
I'm so sorry to hear about losing your dear husband. I'm glad your son is around where you are.
Social skills. How to adapt.
What about widows? Not everyone is single from a divorce.
And what about women who never married or even those who never had a “couple” relationship. I would love to hear about experiences and insight from all women from the angle of choice and no choice due to circumstance.
Mary Stevenson It’s been 7 years. Still miss him. I always will. Constantly reminding myself to be happy for the time we had together. Enjoying my single friends at church and in the neighborhood , also family. But in the beginning, was so hard being without him.
@@PatriciaMuirMaestroQ True, we need to consider all perspectives. It's kind of opposite for you ex: if one of your friends get married do you notice a difference in your friendship with that person?
Mary Stevenson A perfect example of how our identity and experience being or becoming single can be so diverse with both similarities and differences in how we cope with how our status changes within our social network. Your status has another level of complexity that requires different coping skills. Such a difficult place for you. Limbo in a sense with more adjustment ahead. My partner, who I met a few years after divorce, had a brain aneurysm a few years ago. He had the “best” outcome as the doctors describe it. I do notice little changes in memory, reasoning, and behaviour that cause me (and him) stress and irritation. Nothing like your situation. I don’t feel like a widow, but I do feel a tinge of loss. I can relate only to a point and can understand you feeling like a widow. Your grieving is different and I wish that others could see that you need their support other than their withdrawal. Sending you a warm hug.
@@PatriciaMuirMaestroQ Thank you.
Many of us are widows.
Happy New 2020!
I know this is just as true for most men they just don't let anyone know because that's not "manly". That probably makes things even harder for them.
Willy Koo No, I disagree. The old coots seek fresh, young women so they van feel.younger and immortal again.
@@roseyc.5846 Yes but at a certain point younger women don't want to be with those old guys--unless they have lots and lots of money. And I've known quite a few older men who don't want to look like they're with their daughter--they want someone closer to their own age. And some men even get involved with older women--I know one who's 70 and his partner is 87! Not sure I'd want anyone to see me naked at 87!
Is the need to have only couples or equal amounts of people an older adult thing? I'm around people of all ages and I've never even thought of this. Maybe because I'm not going to formal occasions.
Hi I would ask you something that struggle me a lot : what to do with intimate very personal stuff like diaries, pictures and so? I was thinking to put all that in the garbage... Could you make a video about that problem please? I love your scarf the colors are beautiful, I m a scarfs collector... Your Sophie from Paris
Its a good idea - and i had to do it! There is no easy way. Thanks for your lovely comments on the scarves!
Sophie...90% of my personal paper collection of memories went into the trash. It was hard to do at the time, but after it was over, I've NEVER missed it. And I like that it's not sitting around looking back at me suggesting that I take a nostalgic trip down memory lane; I'm making new memories.
@@peggyharris3815 I was looking today and I read that the national French library takes the diaries, so next year I will phone and check if it s true, and if yes I will do it. I don't know for others countries but why put in the garbage your life? For pictures it will be different I think but we ll see... I want to do that now in case...
How kind you are, Margaret. Please where do get your tops......the one you have on today. Thanks
Great tips.
Or widowed
Exactly!!
5 reasons I don't approve of, of course, but they do exist, why you stop being invited. And possible solutions : 1. Your married friends might be genuinely embarrassed, wondering how to deal with you or have a conversation, and to reach the right balance between too much compassion and not enough. Solution : put them at ease and say very frankly you need support but are trying to move on. And that there are other topics. Ask them how they are, that's the key. 2. As re. invitations, nobody is going to invite you just after a mourning or the week after the divorce. That's just decency. But not inviting you any more afterwards is cruel. Probably they fear you will be saddening the party . Solution : if you have them on the phone or meet them, plainly tell them you hope this won't be the end of the friendship and that invitations are welcome and that you won't spoil the lunch/tea whatever. Of course say it with humour, try the old phone trick : smile while you talk.3. Some couples fear you're into such financial difficulties that any invitation will embarrass you since you'll be less able to invite back. Some others are just plain snobs who think you're not affluent enough any more, to mingle with them. No big loss if they are so low-minded. Now a solution for the first type : casually mention your situation hasn't worsened and that you'd be pleased to have them over or invite at a restaurant or concert or just a coffee. 4. Let's face it : some women just fear you'll snatch their husbands away, especially if you"'re still attractive. They think now you're "back on the market"... The solution : try and have a conversation and let them subtly understand you don't intend remarrying or dating . Not sure it'll work if they're that stupid. Always try and have conversations, don't let things unsaid, and above all try and appear as brave and nice as possible, not whining. And give invitations back, even just over a tea, in a nice tea-room of you feel sad at home.
Clementine Clement even if you do all that the women will be still afraid of the comparison. I seldom get invitations from couples. But to the close friends I do take a group of around 10 people to a good restaurant now and then to give back for any invitation or other favors that I owe them. The men always ask me who else will be with us! I understand them. They need to have men's talk!
Dear Kelly, I'm so happy to have got your feedback and indeed it's not that easy.But your idea of the group invitation is absolutely brilliant ! So very true about the "boys" loving to have a "boys"chat". Isn't it superb that thanks to wonderful Margaret we can exchange all over the world ? Wishing you a wonderful 2020 !PS : By the way I hear a lot from young women that once they get married, some of their single friends stop inviting them : interesting food for thought !
Clementine Clement with me it's the other way round ! My single friends who got married disappeared! I can think of two of them who did. When they divorced they reappeared. But this time it was me who didn't want them back. I wish you too a happy and healthy new year 2020 and a wonderful new decade!
greetings to all
Im single woman who never met anyone although i tried to find a guy. At 60 iv retired from my job of 38 yrs at a women's health facility. Im lonely n try to go out on my mine at times because most friends are busy. Iv x given up the idea of marriage. Hopefully i will b lucky in 2020..Thank u for your insights.i will add them to my life. Cheers!
Husband passed away age 51, don't make me count I'm 65, my kids big me about me moving in (son) me moving in 1 of their bedrooms, I ask them can I build a tiny house on their property they said NO, I said I'm fine here, so leave me alone, I'm leaving in 570 sq feet place, I'm cool. Thanks Sweetie
That would be enough space for me--I'd rather have my own home too.
A divorce is different--it often tangentially forces friends to choose a side. Maybe there's an inherent judgement about what occurred in your marriage. And Christian churches will twist their scriptures and bash you *mercilessly* ; they refuse to see a difference in the original language words for "putting away" and "divorce." Christians won't even take the time to realize that while it takes two to become married, it really only takes one of you to divorce the other--but since you're "divorced" you wear the Scarlet D of shame forever. (But then, so does the Almighty. He, too, is a divorced person--but the church doesn't like to talk about that. It doesn't quite align with their fake replacement theology.)
Me: I was widowed at 59 three years ago. Now I'm just the 5th wheel, the odd one out, that nobody knows what to do with in couples-y things.
????? Jesus was divorced ?
Huh ?! 🤔🙃😳
Wow you look stunning
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