At age 64 I went to a high school reunion and met the absolute love of my life. I knew him in HS and worshipped him from afar. This time we fell in love, became seenagers, traveling and discovering each other. Sadly he died in my arms of cancer 4 years later (he told me upfront when we met) but oh baby, I don't care, it was all worth it. I never would have known him or seen myself in deep love like I was. I stopped being strong, let him protect and nurture me, then we switched, and it felt truly wonderful.
I am sad reading these comments. I had similar experiences as these women, but I kept at it from age 64-68, met my husband online, got married during covid in my backyard with family, living a beautiful, fulfilling, VERY sexually active, happy life, and I’m now 70. He’s 69. We go to the gym, we hike, we do family stuff, have 9 grandkids combined, two homes,living a wonderful life. Hang in there, people, smile, discern, stay positive!
Probably best to Zoom before a date so you know you are attracted to each other before laying money out for a date. Women might not like that a man would want to split the bill. If you know that you like the woman already via a Zoom session, you won’t feel badly paying for the date.
I think a first date could be more about going for a walk in the park and getting a coffee which would only last for approximately an hour! This is the initial meet up and the reason is to determine if you do have enough in common plus enough attraction for a dinner date.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I lost my mate almost 4 years ago to Alz. He was 68. I am now 71 and have been alone since, especially due to Covid and feel isolated also. I had to put my 18-year-old cat down about 6 months later which made it even harder! I went back to my Artwork about a year after he passed and turned his sitting room into an Art Room!! I have been asked out over this period of time a few times, but I decided I didn't want to "deal" with it all and stayed alone. I didn't even get another cat. I'm at a stage now where I feel I'm getting older and need to focus on all the things I didn't over the years while taking care of kids, family etc! I guess it all boils down to how much you can like yourself and be with yourself. I journal, embroider, paint and resin so I am very busy. Then there are family gatherings that take your time to Cook, donate help, gift shopping, etc. So, dating out of loneliness can lead to more issues in your life. Let it all happen natural and if it doesn't, learn how to make yourself happy!!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I feel the same way. you communicated this very well. I'm 72 and still get asked out (and to my surprise, a few from much younger men-which makes no sense to me honestly). My marriage of 22 years would have made hell look like a nice place to visit, I was also a victim of a violent crime, which left me with severe ptsd. So, basically I've come to realize knowing a true love will never happen for me, sadly. However, I've learned to think in the lines of what your comment so beautifully lays out. It was an awe moment to read it.😊
My first date was a walk along the waterfront and a flask of tea.....it was the best date. Nature, a sunset .....very very cool. Connection isn’t about who pays the bill.
Grooming is so important! The older you are the more important it is! Dress up, shave, bath, brush your teeth,wash your hair and by all means clean you nails and clean up nose and ear hair....PLEASE!
I spent a good deal of my life overcoming a Disney-fied upbringing to stand firm on my own two feet. I have no desire to be swept off them. Genuine connection, kindness and respect are what’s important to me now regardless of who pays for what.
As card carrying adults 'over 50' follow the advice you would offer a young person. Meet them somewhere informal, where you don't have to spend more than a couple of hours with them, not everyone is as the picture on their profile, sound of their voice. Don't make a first meet one where you have to spend an evening discovering he / she can't use a knife and fork, talks with a full mouth of food, smells bad, has halitosis, bad habits that don't do it for you.... and spends all their time on their mobile. etc. Differentiate a 1st meet up from a 1st date.
A first meet up is a first date. Crucial dates are down the road if you both want to date again.The third date and the fifth date are emotional and relational big deals.
Better yet. My first connection is by phone. In that way at least you aren’t on a first meet up knowing instantly that you shouldn’t have met this person. You know, you can get a sense pretty quickly! Amazing what you sense in hearing a person, their tone, attitudes, likes, dislikes and how that is verbalized, their interest in life and maybe in you from say a dating Ap profile (both). If your gut says yes proceed and you both agree then do so. I find the meals can come later. A coffee date to start is fine. Better yet go for a walk. In that way you aren’t facing each other the whole meetup but are walking side by side and sharing. One of my best fun first meets was with a woman whom like me played baseball in her younger days. We met up to “ play catch c a ball!” How refreshing, fun and different. We are still friends to this day. Actually she is my travel agent. Lastly go into each meetup or phone call- with “no expectations!” Then evaluate some time later and go from there. Go Ni .
And meet in a safe place. Not a bar or bar neighborhood. Maybe during the afternoon for coffee. It takes a lifetime to know someone so take your time and enjoy the journey ❤
Girls want sparkly fairytales. Emotionally mature women (of any age) want real friendship and passion. The single flower you give me later because you know me and think I'm special, is worth much more than two dozen on the first date. Those dozens are more about impressing me or buying my interest. The guy making all the grand gestures from day one before he even knows me, is doing it for himself. It's not about me. And he's done it for all of his other first dates. I'll take a guy who greets the wait staff with a warm smile and good eye contact, or pets a passing dog, over one that shows up to the coffee shop roses in hand. Impress me with who you are, not grand gestures to sweep me off my feet. Who you are won't change. Grand gestures never last. That's why fairytales are short.
Ewwww...I met a guy at a brewery for a "Meet Up" (1st meeting), and he brought me a dozen roses in a huge glass vase. It was so awkward & embarassing. He was a TOTAL WEIRDO!
My experience is women rattle off questions trying to find out how to manipulate men and determine how much money they have. Most seem to be looking for a credit card, someone to take them to Europe, or a retirement plan. One women tried to kill me with food starting when we became engaged. He retirement plan was to spend all my money on vacations.
My experience is women hit me with one question after another, like a rapid fire machine gun, to try and estimate how much money I have. I am now in the habit of lying to them outrageously-so they know I’m making it up and joking. I never take women seriously because I find their behavior appalling. What do I get back? Ask me any question. Women then answer in very short responses. Afraid I suppose they will step in doggie do-do. Women hide everything and want to know everything about the man. I no longer respond if they share nothing about themselves. That ends things right there. lol. I could tell you some great stories.
I appreciate your experience, and am sorry to hear. As a guy, I must say I’m asked plenty of questions. In fact, I too often feel I’m on a job interview. I’ve actually considered the whole process might be easier if I just drop off my CV and financial statements and leave it at that until the woman decides if I’m qualified.
If have to agree. I have enough friends and I'm not interested in a casual male friend. I met a guy for coffee and he told me that a lot of women he'd dated became his friends. He was one of my first dates and we just didn't connect probably because I over shared. 😅
I agree, don't change anyone at this stage in life. I am 68 and may look younger, but I want a guy who can laugh longer and harder than myself.💗🥰💞❤ Let's appreciate this final stage of our lives.
Guilty as charged. I was brought up to be independent and now have to make a conscious effort not to do everything for myself; even to take the hand that is offered to help me up when I get scrambled by a rough wave in the sea. It takes a lot of unlearning after a lifetime alone.
These rules dont apply for all!! I prefer being the lady and have a gentleman pay for me......its not a fairytale, its just what feels right for me........men also need to feel like gentleman, so allow them to do that!!
I prefer to pay my share on a first date because if the man pays there are always expectations. The dating scene today is very different than when we were young adults so the dating rules of the sixty don't really work in the age of social media.
If you can find a gentlemen who is willing to pay in this modern dating scene, good luck to you. I don't really think that men today are interested in feeling like gentlemen. I think the age of Gentlemen is long past. Men today want to get a lot without giving much.
Dating was bad enough when I was young and attractive I have no desire to date in any way or shape now that I'm, hell old. I get great joy enjoying life pampering myself and just doing what I want when I want. Also I'll wait on myself I'm not waiting on some man. I spoil my dog like my friends listen to the grown kids complain. But NOONE CAN TREAT ME AD GOOD AS I TREAT ME!!! AND I DESERVE IT!!
I'm old, but I'm still attractive. I got tired of online dating because guys just wanted to hook up... and the few that I did hook up with weren't any good. I've mostly dated younger guys, much younger than me.
@@avalonmist254same reason I did. Curiousity. I’m a 72 year old widow and not looking …. Just curious about what nonsense is being said. I’m not going to go out of my way to please anyone , well maybe my son and my good lady friends . I miss my husband and he’s not replaceable .
It sounds like you’ve found something really special in your relationship, especially valuing both mind and heart. Respect is such a crucial foundation for any lasting partnership. After 15 years, it must be nice to know you’ve built something meaningful together. What are some of the things you both enjoy doing that keep that connection strong?
Im a man 55 who has historically dated women 10 years older for the reasons of better maturity/thinking matches (bigger world view). I divorced 2 years ago and decided to start dating again. What i have found is a general lowering of standards for both men and women when it comes to how we think about our place in the world. Everyone seems to full of complexity, yet no one has any human skill sets like, integrity, sincerity, thoughtfulness, having a long view, etc. It seems like the simple things and courtesies have fallen by the wayside. Im not that old, yet im thinking the kind of women im interested in have long since decided to stop dating. She probably saw the same things i am seeing and gave up. As for me, im still trying to sort out the highly put together people who turn out to have no depth. Is that todays standard?
I can identify I'm 48 I have two grown kids I just sent my last kid off and trying to navigate this scary world. The dating Sean is a nightmare especially for us gen xers people have gotten so harsh and mean I'm basically looking for a good friend someone that I can hang out with and do different things with take it slow and if the intimacy comes then that will be great but don't want a shallow hookup.
Yeah 54 here and I don't have the energy or desire to deal with any bs. It's easier to be alone then the games. I don't care what age a person is, the deception and mind games aren't worth it. I'm divorced nearly 20 years and am focused on my own growth. I sacrificed so much of my life for others. Not going to do that again.
I agree. I am 73 and always was a lady. All the good men my age are in very bad shape. The wonderful older men I was involved with have passed away. Very sad standards are so very low now. I am congenial to all, yet, still a loner. Never settle for less, be comfortable with yourself, keep your eyes open, there just might be someone for you. Good luck.
Yes and also come “Courtesies” were not/are not important and are cultural including generational. I have known men who think opening a door makes them good guys….ha! “The highly put together people who have no depth”… people without money and who have had harder lives often are not as “put together” looking yet have depth and are often though too over looked….class plays a bigger role than ever in older age it seems.
@@OurTube_TheOriginal not referring to "looking like". That would be equally shallow. Lived experience, quality time spent in intimate conversations where individuals admit they have not really given much time to some of life's tough questions. How do you have fulfilling conversations when people are so far apart in their mentality after 55? I wish others well, but many of us want to be able to have deeper conversations and ponder deeper meanings about any subject. This is what makes life interesting for some of us after a certain age/stage of life. Most of us in this situation, find ourselves accepting where society's standards currently lean and sit out. We enjoy our hobbies and don't disrespect anyone else's path. It's okay to have different mentalities towards aging. To me depth in thinking is vital to aging well. I want that around me. I want my thinking challenged with observations that make me curious. I want to be thrilled to experience my partners mind and personality. We all lean in different directions, and it's not healthy to pretend otherwise. Most of us don't have another 50 years to struggle with adopting to big differences. We are not talking about acts of chivalry based on patriarchy. Your example is the mindset of no depth. I would have advised you to move on from anyone who thinks opening a door is actually a courtesy, the simplicity of thinking that's a courtesy is the low bar that defines a lack of "depth". That man never thought about it after he heard about opening doors for women. Man or women, you are helping to make the point perhaps inadvertently.
Absolutely, income inequality is a complex issue that affects many aspects of life, including families and children. It can create barriers to opportunities and resources, which is tough for everyone involved. Finding ways to support and uplift one another, especially when it comes to the next generation, is so important. What are your thoughts on how we can work together to address these challenges?
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Yes. Usually my part of the meal is the cheaper part. So splitting the check, I’d be paying part of his meal. If he’s not paying, it’s better to get my own check.
Wow, two different perspectives as I guess you would expect! I completely agree with Lisa, but then I am a woman. If you ask me out...Pay! I’ll think your cheap if Not! I’ve never paid for a date in my life when I’ve been asked out. I have paid for a date that “I” asked out! My treat, my decision.
Well, I sort of understand the point of view from the male side. Two people agree to go out, I think it's fair to split the bill the first time. If it were several dates later, and he invites you out, let him pay once in a while. I am not looking to be impressed or swoop off my feet. I just want a reasonable person that is not a male chauvinist and respects women. He has to be funny...
...I am so much a " Dinosaur", lol.....If a man asks me out, he had best be prepared to pay for the date. Period. I also have not ever paid for a date in my life, no going to start now ! ( And, yes, for a special occasion, or something, for a man, I will pay, but that is ones choice, as you stated.)
@@texasstardust6010 I'm with you!!! I've never paid on first dates..and like you..why start now..older..they are older too..and in our generation..they always made more $...the stats are men still have more$ in retirement
@@texasstardust6010I have had dates where I enjoyed the woman’s company so much. I avoided dinners. I did daytime events first. Early afternoons at wineries. Things we were just going to do anyway. A wonderful woman and I spent a day at estate sales on a Saturday. We both needed things for homes and businesses. We started just helping each other. Our journey together was respect for living our own lives. We “dated” over a thermos of coffee and things to do on Saturdays. Our relationship of course became more over time. We evolved in casual clothes without expectations. We have been together a decade now in our 70’s.
Yep! I am 60,and my last relationship recently ended when he got lost in alcohol, and for years, refused any help for it. I know I don't want to be alone forever, but for now I'm enjoying the peace of it. When I get back out there, I'll expect the man to pay for that first date. I am well-fixed financially and if he's not generous enough to buy me a meal, I might think he wants a free ride. I'm way too cute for that! We all are!
I'm 67, F. I have had a rough 10 years with autoimmune disease but have learned to manage it with lifestyle changes. I'm thinking about dating again. I'd like to have someone to go do things with. That would be wonderful. Keep it simple.
Yes. Meet for a cup of coffee and discuss future plans if you feel chemistry. I have absolutely no chemistry for what this older gentleman is and says. I am happy that she spoke up!
It's wonderful to hear both male and female feedback. As a woman we often want to know what a man's opinion is of friendships then possibly dating...Thanks
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I am old fashioned-- i want my date, especially if it’s a first date to pay for what i am going to eat be it breakfast, lunch or dinner! That’s being a GENTLEMAN!
Keep the first date simple, meet for coffee, talk and then decide if you want another date and have dinner. Nice to get to know someone a little first.
I’m all for the coffee date first. No big expense. Whoever initiated the meetup should be able to flip for coffee. And with nothing else in the way (like a meal) it’s just time to talk and get to know a bit about each other. Do you have anything in common and would you like to spend more time with this person, to get to know more about them? Was it comfortable chatting with them? Did you have similar sense of humor? We’re you physically attracted? How does he see a woman’s place? I am the woman who enjoys a mans help with things, I respect a man who has a good work ethic, whether that means he’s still working or retired and taking care of his property. I like the man to take care of the vehicles and I’ll take care of the home. And I love a man who enjoys manning the grill 😊. I enjoy flirting with my guy. Winking across the room, kisses here and there, that hug from behind when I’m doing dishes, just those gestures that show love. As you can see, even after having to become strong by being single, I’m no feminist.
I just don't want to have to tell someone my life story anymore. Also, young people are simple. They haven't accumulated the baggage older people have.
@@pricewood1284 You must be young at heart. I often see old classmates and its a reality check to see how OLD they look. We still feel 25 on the inside, but outside time have moved on. 😂
We are so blessed to have support groups and therapist , and such great experienced folks that want to invest into our lives to help us experience the ultimate experience of having love to give and be able to receive love that makes our limited time here on earth the most enjoyable it possibly can be ! With a grateful heart I truly say thank you !
At age 69 I’ve dated on and off the last 10 years since a divorce. On the first date I tell the guy it is a “Meet and Greet” and I will pay my way. More than once the gentleman demanded to pay. I agreed if he’d allow me to leave the tip. Usually we agreed. On the first encounter I do notice his wardrobe, condition of his shoes, the cleanliness of his vehicle, especially the floorboards. If he has to move things so I can get in or sit , his house and life probably looks the same. I want someone that is neat and clean.
Very astute of you Peggy. Funny how some women believe that men with money got that way by being dumb. Those women are going to get “swept off their feet” alright…by a knucklehead.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I would never get in a vehicle with a new man on a first date. Meet him somewhere. Don’t let him know where you live til date 4 or so. You don’t know what he might do.
@@essieessie5399 had a guy I already knew bring lobsters to my home. A 2nd date. On 1st date he didn’t eat anything. I bought corn and potato salad and bread. He cooked the lobster then ate just his lobster, in less than a minute. Ripped it apart and guzzled it. Not a bite out of the items I bought. I was done eating about 30 min later. He left and I haven’t invited him back. He’s late 40’s, so knows better.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
This is apples and oranges. Either you ask me out and pay or we meet more as friends - and both are exciting possibilities! But I lean heavily on experience that if you ask me out in anyway shape or form and then you want to go halves-ies, that would kill it most likely.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I get the man's point that the purpose of a first date is just to get to know someone - one of many they would invite out. In that case I would be quite happy to split the bill (or pay my part, which is what we normally do among friends). That way there's no sense of obligation. I would much prefer a first date to be a walk, perhaps with an ice cream or other little snack en route.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Interesting! I recommend to my clients that they don't interview their date. That is the most common negative feedback I receive after a date. But I DO offer tips and tricks to find out the important stuff without interviewing! Good job, folks!
I agree.....No one wants to face ' the Spanish inquisition",lol. I am wary of men who start asking me ALL KINDS of questions, and are things that would become known , given a period of time and patience.
I am more interested in their personality and how they treat the wait staff and if their eyes light up while they’re talking. Their body language and yes, if he picks up the tab.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Margaret, I am so happy that I found this channel and that I have access to the invaluable content you provide here. I'm just a few years shy of senior "territory" and still learning to accept that I'm getting older whether I feel like it or not. Sixty and Me has been a welcome comfort and is very inspiring to me. Also, thank you so much for giving us (your viewers) something to look forward to about getting older.
Personally, on a first date, I prefer to pay my own way and I'd rather meet for coffee during the day than go out to a fancy dinner. Then if we want to see each other again, maybe go for a walk or to a movie. I would rather get to know someone before making a big investment.
I love the going for a walk scenario. I like going to places where we can talk and not have to be silent, like in a movie. Walking is great, coffee or a light meal. Maybe even go for ice cream.
I’m Jeffery by name, 55 years old live Arizona Scottsdale I’m windowed lost my wife 6 years ago, I got more interested in your profile because it look real and sensible so I decided to add you so we can have a conversation and know if you are looking for what am also looking for plz write back to me as I would like to know more about you
@@jefferycailean5314 hello Jeffery, by name...sorry for your loss. I am in a committed relationship. I placed my opinion on this video only as a suggestion for others. I was not posting for a date. I apologize for any misunderstanding. Have a great day.
When I decide to go out with someone, we’ve usually been talking from anywhere to a week to four weeks and I’m sorry if this age, if a man doesn’t pay then that’s not the kind of man that I want. I’m great at being a woman and I want him to be great at being a man. Once we become a couple I don’t mind paying for things here and there but I want my man to take care of me in certain ways and I will take care of him.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
So glad to see these two on with you again, along with the fresh, frank conversation. So refreshing 😎. Nothing says, ...“I’m a strong, considerate woman “ to anyone, than ...“I’ll pay my own way this time.”... regardless of who asked who on the first get together, date, or whatever you want to call it. Then it can turn into fun banter if things are progressing positively.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I once dated a woman that I thought was shallow because of a comment she made. “You make this all about me and I will then make this all about you”. In reflection I have always believed that you treat a woman like a precious object, until they show you that they are not. Eventually I found my special partner (now wife) she was 50, I was 56. We are now marries 13 years and the greatest compliment she ever gave me was “ should you ever pass, I will never marry again because no one can ever treat me as well as you do.
My wife asked me if I would remarry if she passed away. Yes I said. She then asked if I would keep the house. Yes. I said. She then asked if remarried would keep the bed. Yes. It’s brand new. Next she asked if I would give her golf clubs to my new wife. No I said. She is left handed.
I am dating a widower, and I think it would be untrue to think that " no one could treat you as well". My boyfriend treats me extremely well, and I know that he treated his late wife very well. There are people who can be just as good, people like me, who also treats people well.....there are actually people out there who can love more than once...a great, but different love, and I would never assume differently.
I would also say: "Ok, let's split!" but it could be a reason for not meeting him again! If a man doesn't have the money to invite me at our first meeting he could be stingy at all times! 😉
My "gentleman" and I take turns paying the bill. One of us pays and the other leaves the tip. Or one of us pays for dinner and the other purchases the movie tickets. We're both financially stable. It seems fair.
I haven’t dated in years after trying online dating unsuccessfully. I find it impersonal and many men don’t honestly portray themselves in their profiles. I’d love a discussion with Lisa and Ken about how to write a good profile.
....I have to say that most profiles I have seen online, are either fake or , as you stated, not honestly done. I find this online dating thing to be tedious, and disappointing. ....I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting someone...but I am such a " dinosaur ", lol that I believe in respect , boundaries, etc. I had a man want to french kiss me on a first meeting /date and I was ' uhhh. NO'. who are you ???" That gave me pause in regards to even seeing him again...I found it completely inappropriate.
It seems so complicated and with so many rules. I am over 60 and just dipping my toe into dating after many years and all this talk has made me more hesitant to do so. Maybe leave it all up to God while living life to the fullest possible and forget about all this talk? Maybe we will see.
What if the man you may be meant to be with has the same attitude and you live parallel lives, perhaps in neighbouring churches? That said, I tend to agree with you much of the time!
I glad everyone is having the same problems as me, we as women can be too critical and I have been guilty of cross examining a date to see if they fit my check list, but the men tend to be very guilty of eyeing you up and instantly deciding if they want to bed you and if not they don’t even bother being polite or finishing the date. Add to that, that we are all different it’s a minefield.
It goes both ways!!!! If I'm not physically attracted...I won't even go out on a first date...what's the use!!!! There is that thing...chemistry...as well..some people are attractive..but ugh...no personality..you have to get passed all that..for a first date to even accure...then you find out if you have enough in common
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you’re
Sometimes I think we forget, what do I have to bring to the table? Both parties need to have a look at that, I feel. That sets the stage for an honest encounter in most cases.
just got out of a 30+ marriage for deception. I am focusing on myself and helping others. I need a break from relationships but so happy for others who are stepping back into the dating world ❤ I would like to start as friends first. That's most important to me....be a high value woman ladies. You're worth it!!! If I invite someone out I pay and expect the same from others.
It sounds like you’re in a really positive place, focusing on yourself and supporting others after such a long marriage. Taking time for yourself is so important, and starting as friends is a great approach. It lays a solid foundation for any future connections. Your perspective on valuing yourself and encouraging others to do the same is inspiring! How do you find ways to nurture your own interests while also helping others?
I fall in the middle of both dating experts...for the initial meetings, I have paid, or split the check or the man offered to pay. Depends on the type of meeting. I pull out my money/credit card to pay for myself first. If he offers to pay the whole check, so be it. I don't necessarily want an alpha Male, but someone respectable, assertive considerate of my feelings.
Big mistake. Men should always pay and a real man always will. Men make more money and they are the man not you! If it is a date; always let the man pay because he is the man and he is the one who is hunting! Just be the respectable, desirable lady that men long for. Be a lady .
When I dated my last husband, always paying for our own items, BUT that set the precedence after we married. He made 60 times more $ than I and we agreed to split the bills. That was before I knew how much he earned and that crushed me as I was also supporting my two sons. If I were ever able to have another man, he would pay for everything and put me on a pedestal, treating me as God instructs.
I am curious about what Ken's love life is like and why anyone should listen to him talking about splitting the check. If a man can't buy you a piece of chicken he either doesn't really like you, or doesn't have it in the budget...either way, run!
@17:00 nooooo Ken and right on Lisa! I want a man who will step up and court me!! Yes, later if entering into a committed relationship expenses should be shared. But in the beginning I want to be wooed!!!! These darn feminist have practically ruined the dating field for us traditionalists!!!! Furthermore, I certainly DO NOT want to be treated like a best-bro!!!!! WTH!!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Married for 32 years and separated for 20 years. At first desperate to find a companion because never before alone in my whole life, going from large family to married at 20 so was terribly painful. Spent first Christmas alone in my 50's. I was so lonely I was happy if there was a fly in my apartment, something else alive. I know sounds silly, but that type of loniless is very painful. Now 20 years later, I've grown, own my own little condo, and did it all without a man, well, my brother in law did lend me money to buy it, but I paid it off quickly, not wanting to be beholding to anyone. Alone now, but not lonely. A nice platonic companion would be nice though,, a coffee together or a drive, movie etc.oh well, sorry tor long comment.😊
I’m 60. No freaking way do I “date”anyone now. I’m looking at one foot in the grave, empty nester(kids grown up) and divorced now over 11 years!!! So…!!!!😀 I’ll be fishing, and hunting, metal detecting, remodeling homes, buying property, etc… but/ Dating was to grow into a marriage! Marriage did grow into a family! And after that?- You retire to the good life! The way it should have been! Cheap, self sufficient, and practical!! FINALLY !! Yeeeee-haaa! Peace and prosperity!
A simple and inoffensive way to do an “interview” is to bring up your own thoughts on a topic and then stay quiet. Most people feel uncomfortable with a prolonged silence and they will leap into the breach with much more information than you might expect.
I definitely agree that we want to be swept off our feet. It is a total turn off if a man asks me to help pay for dinner, especially within the first few dates. It makes me think the guy is cheap, not a gentleman.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Absolutely! Emotional intimacy is such a powerful foundation. It creates trust and understanding, making physical intimacy that much more meaningful. When you can connect on that deeper level, everything else just flows naturally. What are some ways you find help foster that emotional connection?
A lot of good perspectives, valuable insights, information, and ideas. With respect to the question of just who pays for the first date, it hardly seems a valid question for anyone over the age of fifty. The idea of splitting the cost is clearly that of the much younger generation, and certainly not appropriate (in general) for those of us that truly are "seniors". As a gentleman, it goes against my grain to NOT pick up the cost. Now my main problem is that I have been unable to locate any nice ladies with whom I would like to engage in intelligent conversation. I will not look in bars or other places that simply have failed me in the past. I have tried libraries, book stores, the post office, grocery stores, laundromats, Walmarts, pharmacies, etc.. Ladies, am I looking in the wrong locations ?? I humbly ask for your guidance on the subject of where may I find you ? Please note that I am not suggesting that you will find me appropriate for your own individual requirements, but perhaps one of you will. Thank You.
Nice to know there are some "old fashioned" gentleman around. Today's dating scene is very different and confusing. I have stopped dating actually, too many people say "I don't any game playing", yet I seemed to find the ones who say it but turned out to be masters of the game. Good luck in your search, i hope you found/find the right person.
Not at Walmart :) I often take myself out for lunch and it's so strange when there may be 3 tables with single people seated at them. I know in Covid-time things are different but if you are in that situation don't be afraid to make eye contact and if the lady smiles just ask if you can join her. I would love for restaurants to have a table set aside for people who would like to share a table, and if it could be part of the 'open table' booking system so you could see if there were others booked before you go, it would be fun!
Hello, so interesting to listen to all your opinions, Im 74 and lost my husband a year ago, I have 4 male friends, I still don't want to have a loving relationship, one of these friends would like to be more serious. We have gone to concerts, lunch, Art gallery and we decided to split the bill because he brought it up but I would rather have the friend pay for our meal. I find it rather disturbing to bring this up when you would like to feel invited out and not split the bill. On top of that I invited him to the Art Gallery. We are old school at my age and that is what was done, although I am very independent and I am not looking for a date, it is nice to be invited out. Thank you for all your advice and opinions, Interesting to hear.
I did date as an older single woman but it was laughably unsuccessful. I got used to the dating drill, where he complained about his ex wife and boasted of his accomplishments, and i nodded and asked questions. Whenever i snuck in a comment about my own life it was never picked up. I am a feminine, mild-mannered person and let them lead the conversation to keep things pleasant, but it was a red flag to decline a second date.
New to your channel.... nice content... enjoying it quite a bit. As for me: l don't have a problem "going dutch" the first time l might be meeting someone in person. Just a "meet and greet" kind of low-key conversation in a public place....separate transportation. If things move along after that and he eventually requests an actual "first date"... I would prefer that he pick up the tab. After that point...if there is a series of dates ensuing, and there does seem to be some mutual attraction: it would seem that we could up with some sort of mutually acceptable arrangement for feeding ourselves.
I was married to a very much older man who has since passed but there was real love, friendship, mutual interests (music), and he was a kind and handsome person. The relationship lasted 18 years and I took care of him at the very end. Money was not a factor. It was a unique situation. I’m now dating someone close to my age. It was the person not the shell and I was very fortunate.
I never anticipate that I split the bill. And yes, if I meet them online, if we go out it is because I was asked. Any man that suggests we split the bill, is gross to me.
Great conversation. If you invite me out on first date you should pay. I’ll leave a tip. I may not know you but I do like to be treated like a lady. My boys who are now man was taught by me their mom to alway treat any girl like a lady. If you invite you should pay. By paying the bill simple point blank.
I don't want a man to be prince charming right away. I need to be able to like him as a friend and I want to trust him. Being swept off your feet is a fantasy and takes away from the reality of both people, who they are. I agree with the man. Also, if a man tries to sweep me off my feet right away, would he do that with every woman ? After we become friends, that's when he can change his approach and show his interest.
I feel the same way but developing a friendship takes time and it is unbelievable how impatient people are these days!! And I'm not talking years, I'm suggesting a few months.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
So these three people profit off giving bad advice to lonely hearts. If you want to meet someone joins club where you can meet people. Then of a man approaches don’t torpedo him because when you change your mind a year or more later he will never forgive or forget the disrespect.
I was going to skip this,but you 3 make a lot of sense& are realistic.Thank you for a sane perspective.Personally,the online scene never interested me...too clinical& contrived..a business transaction,an audition, exchange of resumes,etc.I realize the stigma is gone& really nice people of all demographics have made genuine connections.
The key is making room for each other, and willingness to change routines according to the "needs." Acceptance. Willingness to just experience the person without expectations.
The lady on the top left sorry forgot her name,she is correct in just about everything she said about what woman want and expect to some degree,I Loved the gentleman's perspective also,phenomenal video!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you
Pretty sure my past comment was deleted, but I’ll don’t necessarily want to be “swept off my feet” but I want to be treated like I’m special, not just going out with a friend. If we split the check, it’s like I’m looking for a roommate and I’m not. I’m looking for someone who treats me more special then a “friend”. Might as well just go out with girlfriends and skip all the hassles of dating.
That said, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a first date at an expensive dinner...that’s too much pretense anyway. First date can be free! A walk and maybe a cup of coffee if you want to spend more time with them.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
This guy is def not a southern gentleman and that's what this southern belle would expect, is for the guy to pay for the meal especially if he wants to make a good impression. And this guy would not get another date either!
@@lynnebailey8808 Strong doesn't = domineering imho. If you can't be a man, but a mouse, then WHO needs that. Southern born & bred folks are strong as we didn't get coddled. We upheld values & our name.
Pat Cyzauskas Yes, that's the way my dating went with the three ladies I've "courted" in the past three and a half years. Only one would let me pay more often than not. I know that was a relationship that had potential for more, though it ultimately ran its course for other reasons, some to this day escape me. Beyond 60, we're big people, right? A man can ask to pay, and if she says she'd rather go Dutch, that's cool, too.
I think older women should seek companionship with women instead of men. Woman naturally are communal and can be happier being free, engaging with pets, and having close female friendships. As we age we need peace and freedom. We don’t need to be focused on anyone but ourselves. We spend our entire lives taking care of others, sacrificing, not able to pursue dreams because of children and being a wife so after 50 this time is for us.
She’s right! I’m an independent professional - splitting first date is fine - BUT - disagree with me if you will , but women have been ‘disadvantaged’ in many ways throughout history - financially and otherwise. As a heterosexual woman I for myself realize that strong attraction STILL comes when a man shows the ability to ‘protect and help’ whether it be at least a show of some financial willingness, a bit of an ‘I am able to take charge’ behavior. I’ve dated many of the ‘other’ - and I am soon put off by my feeling that I have to continue to be ‘the one who takes care of everything.’ I agree with her!
In over 60 widowed and find most men I date do not want to do anything except come to my house. I do not trust strangers in my house so they don't come and don't ask me out.
I totally agree with your female guest....if the man asks you out he should pay. But it does seem a trend lately that makes want you to split or pay the bill. That makes me run for the hills! If you can't afford to date dont ask! Your Male guests seems this way!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Great comments from the gentleman. I kinda disagree with the lady about men become great friends. The majority of Men are not interested in platonic friendships with women. They are always hoping the friendship will turn to more so it is better to avoid the constant little hints if you are not interested.
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you’re
I have found when I share my experiences a conversation will start on the topic of what I share. I’m also a retired Behavioral Health medical staff person with over 35 years of experience working with people in recovery and learning about relationships.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Some people "date" for sport. The online thing can turn into a veritable hobby, for some. That's not my thing, so I'd first change the terminology. It's a MEET, not a DATE. Since I always pay for my own coffee or whatever when going out, that's what feels best (to me) on a meet--with men and women both. I'd like you guys to address the issue of reacting to seeing one another in person for the first time, though. First meets between seemingly compatible people online can be devastating if someone expresses disappointment (eye rolling, etc) right off the bat. If this happens to you, I would not bother staying. Note: I stopped dating because male behavior was ridiculously abusive. Not all 70 year-olds look like Raquel Welch or Jane Fonda!
Thanks for the video. The best part of the video is reading the comments. The take away I get is the man always pays for attention, from women. Women fundamentally don’t need men but they will put up with them for a price and if their entertainment value is of merit. Wealth is used as a measure of potential friendship. I can live with that.
If we have really grown then we will have outgrown childhood fairytales and fantasies...and come to some new realities and understandings. I find I don’t understand dating rules after 60...perhaps there are no hard and fast rules! Of course not! We are individuals first with different life experiences...the good, the bad and the ugly!!
Split the check. Everyone has to eat, but not everyone you are going to continue to date. When you KNOW to whom you are dedicating, follow through with the investment. Expect courtesy & don’t fight over capability. If he opens the doors for you, let him. Keep your eyes open for someone who fights over some courtesy as if his capability is in question. He likely has low self-esteem. He is there to compete with you, not to cooperate with you. Key: Likely he won’t be a door opener, either.
Also, show up with WRITTEN likes/ dislikes/ deal makers & dealbreakers, exchange the list and go from there. That way, no one can just go along to get along while hiding some potential deal breaker.
The guy is right about coming on too strong. Meet for coffee. What is the deal with the some big romantic dinner for the first date? What about a walk in the park and just nice sandwiches. Coming on too strong is weird. You don't know the person yet.
I think if you met someone online and wanted to meet in person, it should be agreed to go somewhere simple and each person pay their own check. But if a man I met in person asked me out on a date, he should pay the check. But it should still be somewhere simple and not expensive on the first date if it’s just so you can get to know someone. If it’s someone you seen several times, like at work, church, or something similar, if the guy asks you out, they should pay. It still doesn’t have to be fancy but something more casual like Applebees, a steakhouse etc. not a coffee shop.
At age 64 I went to a high school reunion and met the absolute love of my life. I knew him in HS and worshipped him from afar. This time we fell in love, became seenagers, traveling and discovering each other. Sadly he died in my arms of cancer 4 years later (he told me upfront when we met) but oh baby, I don't care, it was all worth it. I never would have known him or seen myself in deep love like I was. I stopped being strong, let him protect and nurture me, then we switched, and it felt truly wonderful.
❤❤❤❤❤
💙💙💙💙💙
So beautiful ❤❤❤
life is so strange sometimes.... :(
@@dougjohns5115 yes, this is why we should never assume how the future will go, just wait for it to unfold.
I am sad reading these comments. I had similar experiences as these women, but I kept at it from age 64-68, met my husband online, got married during covid in my backyard with family, living a beautiful, fulfilling, VERY sexually active, happy life, and I’m now 70. He’s 69. We go to the gym, we hike, we do family stuff, have 9 grandkids combined, two homes,living a wonderful life. Hang in there, people, smile, discern, stay positive!
Wow. That's great! Congratulations.
hoping i can also...hoping to meet my Mr. Right
Yes congratulations to you both. ❤️🥰😃👍🌈
@@mindtalktv3379 am your right an
Probably best to Zoom before a date so you know you are attracted to each other before laying money out for a date. Women might not like that a man would want to split the bill. If you know that you like the woman already via a Zoom session, you won’t feel badly paying for the date.
I think a first date could be more about going for a walk in the park and getting a coffee which would only last for approximately an hour! This is the initial meet up and the reason is to determine if you do have enough in common plus enough attraction for a dinner date.
EXACTLY!!!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Yeah your so right ❤ how are you feeling over there?
@@jakeanderson-uk3zd Troll
😅
I lost my mate almost 4 years ago to Alz. He was 68. I am now 71 and have been alone since, especially due to Covid and feel isolated also. I had to put my 18-year-old cat down about 6 months later which made it even harder! I went back to my Artwork about a year after he passed and turned his sitting room into an Art Room!! I have been asked out over this period of time a few times, but I decided I didn't want to "deal" with it all and stayed alone. I didn't even get another cat. I'm at a stage now where I feel I'm getting older and need to focus on all the things I didn't over the years while taking care of kids, family etc! I guess it all boils down to how much you can like yourself and be with yourself. I journal, embroider, paint and resin so I am very busy. Then there are family gatherings that take your time to Cook, donate help, gift shopping, etc. So, dating out of loneliness can lead to more issues in your life. Let it all happen natural and if it doesn't, learn how to make yourself happy!!
Get another cat, there are plenty of them in shelters that need a home.
I like your comment; much wisdom there.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I feel the same way. you communicated this very well. I'm 72 and still get asked out (and to my surprise, a few from much younger men-which makes no sense to me honestly). My marriage of 22 years would have made hell look like a nice place to visit, I was also a victim of a violent crime, which left me with severe ptsd. So, basically I've come to realize knowing a true love will never happen for me, sadly. However, I've learned to think in the lines of what your comment so beautifully lays out. It was an awe moment to read it.😊
@@gbone7581 ...and please designate a caretaker if something happens to you - kitties can live to 20+! xo
My first date was a walk along the waterfront and a flask of tea.....it was the best date. Nature, a sunset .....very very cool. Connection isn’t about who pays the bill.
Did you share that flask during covid?
@@bellad.1274 Lets assume there were cups 😅
Totally agree. Make first date just coffee and a stroll.
I met my husband waking the 🐕
@@realmathinaminuteif he can't buy you a cup of joe he does not like you.
Grooming is so important! The older you are the more important it is! Dress up, shave, bath, brush your teeth,wash your hair and by all means clean you nails and clean up nose and ear hair....PLEASE!
If you have to advise a person to do this hes not the guy for me
Nose hair is a deal breaker for me, ick!
...and bad, heavily yellowed teeth!
Doesn't seem necessary to mention these things.
What advise would you give to the guys
I spent a good deal of my life overcoming a Disney-fied upbringing to stand firm on my own two feet. I have no desire to be swept off them. Genuine connection, kindness and respect are what’s important to me now regardless of who pays for what.
Great approach!
As card carrying adults 'over 50' follow the advice you would offer a young person. Meet them somewhere informal, where you don't have to spend more than a couple of hours with them, not everyone is as the picture on their profile, sound of their voice. Don't make a first meet one where you have to spend an evening discovering he / she can't use a knife and fork, talks with a full mouth of food, smells bad, has halitosis, bad habits that don't do it for you.... and spends all their time on their mobile. etc. Differentiate a 1st meet up from a 1st date.
A first meet up is a first date. Crucial dates are down the road if you both want to date again.The third date and the fifth date are emotional and relational big deals.
Better yet. My first connection is by phone. In that way at least you aren’t on a first meet up knowing instantly that you shouldn’t have met this person. You know, you can get a sense pretty quickly!
Amazing what you sense in hearing a person, their tone, attitudes, likes, dislikes and how that is verbalized, their interest in life and maybe in you from say a dating Ap profile (both).
If your gut says yes proceed and you both agree then do so.
I find the meals can come later.
A coffee date to start is fine. Better yet go for a walk. In that way you aren’t facing each other the whole meetup but are walking side by side and sharing.
One of my best fun first meets was with a woman whom like me played baseball in her younger days. We met up to
“ play catch c a ball!” How refreshing, fun and different.
We are still friends to this day. Actually she is my travel agent.
Lastly go into each meetup or phone call- with “no expectations!”
Then evaluate some time later and go from there.
Go Ni
.
And meet in a safe place. Not a bar or bar neighborhood. Maybe during the afternoon for coffee. It takes a lifetime to know someone so take your time and enjoy the journey ❤
Girls want sparkly fairytales. Emotionally mature women (of any age) want real friendship and passion. The single flower you give me later because you know me and think I'm special, is worth much more than two dozen on the first date. Those dozens are more about impressing me or buying my interest. The guy making all the grand gestures from day one before he even knows me, is doing it for himself. It's not about me. And he's done it for all of his other first dates. I'll take a guy who greets the wait staff with a warm smile and good eye contact, or pets a passing dog, over one that shows up to the coffee shop roses in hand. Impress me with who you are, not grand gestures to sweep me off my feet. Who you are won't change. Grand gestures never last. That's why fairytales are short.
Mmm this is deep Ellen
Ewwww...I met a guy at a brewery for a "Meet Up" (1st meeting), and he brought me a dozen roses in a huge glass vase. It was so awkward & embarassing. He was a TOTAL WEIRDO!
EXACTLY!
@@ethanro2205 VERY TRUE..
@@kristitrimble9658 II
My experience with dating is the lack of questions men ask and they go and on about themselves
My experience is women rattle off questions trying to find out how to manipulate men and determine how much money they have. Most seem to be looking for a credit card, someone to take them to Europe, or a retirement plan. One women tried to kill me with food starting when we became engaged. He retirement plan was to spend all my money on vacations.
@@vintbonner1378
A woman tried to kill you🤣😂… next time you cook 😹
My experience is women hit me with one question after another, like a rapid fire machine gun, to try and estimate how much money I have. I am now in the habit of lying to them outrageously-so they know I’m making it up and joking. I never take women seriously because I find their behavior appalling.
What do I get back? Ask me any question. Women then answer in very short responses. Afraid I suppose they will step in doggie do-do. Women hide everything and want to know everything about the man.
I no longer respond if they share nothing about themselves. That ends things right there. lol.
I could tell you some great stories.
@@vintbonner1378Assassination by food?😂😂
I appreciate your experience, and am sorry to hear. As a guy, I must say I’m asked plenty of questions. In fact, I too often feel I’m on a job interview. I’ve actually considered the whole process might be easier if I just drop off my CV and financial statements and leave it at that until the woman decides if I’m qualified.
Very, very few men are looking for new female friends. It’s either romantic or they are gone.
Smart
If have to agree. I have enough friends and I'm not interested in a casual male friend. I met a guy for coffee and he told me that a lot of women he'd dated became his friends. He was one of my first dates and we just didn't connect probably because I over shared. 😅
Agreed. Men often join meetup groups and leave if they don't find a girlfriend
It takes, time, effort and money just to be friend zoned.
don't know any men dating at 60 plus, where would they even find someone? I'm 69, and dating now seems to be chasing a mirage
I agree, don't change anyone at this stage in life. I am 68 and may look younger, but I want a guy who can laugh longer and harder than myself.💗🥰💞❤ Let's appreciate this final stage of our lives.
So true ❤ how are you feeling over there?
Sense of humor and a open mind are so important to life. It’s one of the things I find most attractive
I agree ❤
@@danscott4507did you ever meet her?
Men still like to feel like men. LET THEM. Some older gals have become so self efficient they for get to let men be men!
EXACTLY.
So last century.
So true!
Guilty as charged. I was brought up to be independent and now have to make a conscious effort not to do everything for myself; even to take the hand that is offered to help me up when I get scrambled by a rough wave in the sea. It takes a lot of unlearning after a lifetime alone.
These rules dont apply for all!! I prefer being the lady and have a gentleman pay for me......its not a fairytale, its just what feels right for me........men also need to feel like gentleman, so allow them to do that!!
I prefer to pay my share on a first date because if the man pays there are always expectations. The dating scene today is very different than when we were young adults so the dating rules of the sixty don't really work in the age of social media.
If you can find a gentlemen who is willing to pay in this modern dating scene, good luck to you. I don't really think that men today are interested in feeling like gentlemen. I think the age of Gentlemen is long past. Men today want to get a lot without giving much.
@@sallybyrd3712 The gentlemen are staying home because they are avoiding women like you. Your attitude is horrible!
@@gigiis526 They can stay at home because I quit dating years ago; it was not an activity that I ever enjoyed.
Pay your share! You just a golddigger
Dating was bad enough when I was young and attractive
I have no desire to date in any way or shape now that I'm, hell old. I get great joy enjoying life pampering myself and just doing what I want when I want.
Also I'll wait on myself I'm not waiting on some man. I spoil my dog like my friends listen to the grown kids complain. But NOONE CAN TREAT ME AD GOOD AS I TREAT ME!!!
AND I DESERVE IT!!
So why did you waste your time on a video about dating...
I'm old, but I'm still attractive. I got tired of online dating because guys just wanted to hook up... and the few that I did hook up with weren't any good. I've mostly dated younger guys, much younger than me.
@@PerrySkyePhoenix hi Perry
Let’s connect
lol, I get it!
@@avalonmist254same reason I did. Curiousity. I’m a 72 year old widow and not looking …. Just curious about what nonsense is being said. I’m not going to go out of my way to please anyone , well maybe my son and my good lady friends . I miss my husband and he’s not replaceable .
Great conversation. I'm old-fashioned and have never expected to split a check with a man. I doubt I'd think highly of him if he asked me to do that.
The folks in this vide do a great job AND they do assume women were all paid and paid well for their work in life and “Powerful” in their careers.
Except that leaves men having to pay all the time. And that just isn’t fair at all
I wanted a good mind and a good heart. Respect is the big thing. I met a great man. After 15 years of marriage, that is what counts.
It sounds like you’ve found something really special in your relationship, especially valuing both mind and heart. Respect is such a crucial foundation for any lasting partnership. After 15 years, it must be nice to know you’ve built something meaningful together. What are some of the things you both enjoy doing that keep that connection strong?
Im a man 55 who has historically dated women 10 years older for the reasons of better maturity/thinking matches (bigger world view). I divorced 2 years ago and decided to start dating again. What i have found is a general lowering of standards for both men and women when it comes to how we think about our place in the world. Everyone seems to full of complexity, yet no one has any human skill sets like, integrity, sincerity, thoughtfulness, having a long view, etc. It seems like the simple things and courtesies have fallen by the wayside. Im not that old, yet im thinking the kind of women im interested in have long since decided to stop dating. She probably saw the same things i am seeing and gave up. As for me, im still trying to sort out the highly put together people who turn out to have no depth. Is that todays standard?
I can identify I'm 48 I have two grown kids I just sent my last kid off and trying to navigate this scary world. The dating Sean is a nightmare especially for us gen xers people have gotten so harsh and mean I'm basically looking for a good friend someone that I can hang out with and do different things with take it slow and if the intimacy comes then that will be great but don't want a shallow hookup.
Yeah 54 here and I don't have the energy or desire to deal with any bs. It's easier to be alone then the games. I don't care what age a person is, the deception and mind games aren't worth it. I'm divorced nearly 20 years and am focused on my own growth. I sacrificed so much of my life for others. Not going to do that again.
I agree. I am 73 and always was a lady. All the good men my age are in very bad shape. The wonderful older men I was involved with have passed away. Very sad standards are so very low now. I am congenial to all, yet, still a loner. Never settle for less, be comfortable with yourself, keep your eyes open, there just might be someone for you. Good luck.
Yes and also come “Courtesies” were not/are not important and are cultural including generational. I have known men who think opening a door makes them good guys….ha! “The highly put together people who have no depth”… people without money and who have had harder lives often are not as “put together” looking yet have depth and are often though too over looked….class plays a bigger role than ever in older age it seems.
@@OurTube_TheOriginal not referring to "looking like". That would be equally shallow. Lived experience, quality time spent in intimate conversations where individuals admit they have not really given much time to some of life's tough questions. How do you have fulfilling conversations when people are so far apart in their mentality after 55? I wish others well, but many of us want to be able to have deeper conversations and ponder deeper meanings about any subject. This is what makes life interesting for some of us after a certain age/stage of life. Most of us in this situation, find ourselves accepting where society's standards currently lean and sit out. We enjoy our hobbies and don't disrespect anyone else's path. It's okay to have different mentalities towards aging. To me depth in thinking is vital to aging well. I want that around me. I want my thinking challenged with observations that make me curious. I want to be thrilled to experience my partners mind and personality. We all lean in different directions, and it's not healthy to pretend otherwise. Most of us don't have another 50 years to struggle with adopting to big differences. We are not talking about acts of chivalry based on patriarchy. Your example is the mindset of no depth. I would have advised you to move on from anyone who thinks opening a door is actually a courtesy, the simplicity of thinking that's a courtesy is the low bar that defines a lack of "depth". That man never thought about it after he heard about opening doors for women. Man or women, you are helping to make the point perhaps inadvertently.
Income inequality can be a problem. Also children, ours and theirs.
Absolutely, income inequality is a complex issue that affects many aspects of life, including families and children. It can create barriers to opportunities and resources, which is tough for everyone involved. Finding ways to support and uplift one another, especially when it comes to the next generation, is so important. What are your thoughts on how we can work together to address these challenges?
I would not go on a second date with someone that asked to split the check. Old school or new school , it says a lot about character
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Yes. Usually my part of the meal is the cheaper part. So splitting the check, I’d be paying part of his meal. If he’s not paying, it’s better to get my own check.
You rcharacter. Lack thereof.
I, as the woman always offer. If he says it's on him, I get the next cheque.
Wow, two different perspectives as I guess you would expect! I completely agree with Lisa, but then I am a woman. If you ask me out...Pay! I’ll think your cheap if Not! I’ve never paid for a date in my life when I’ve been asked out. I have paid for a date that “I” asked out! My treat, my decision.
Well, I sort of understand the point of view from the male side. Two people agree to go out, I think it's fair to split the bill the first time. If it were several dates later, and he invites you out, let him pay once in a while. I am not looking to be impressed or swoop off my feet. I just want a reasonable person that is not a male chauvinist and respects women. He has to be funny...
...I am so much a " Dinosaur", lol.....If a man asks me out, he had best be prepared to pay for the date. Period. I also have not ever paid for a date in my life, no going to start now ! ( And, yes, for a special occasion, or something, for a man, I will pay, but that is ones choice, as you stated.)
@@texasstardust6010 I'm with you!!! I've never paid on first dates..and like you..why start now..older..they are older too..and in our generation..they always made more $...the stats are men still have more$ in retirement
@@texasstardust6010I have had dates where I enjoyed the woman’s company so much. I avoided dinners. I did daytime events first. Early afternoons at wineries. Things we were just going to do anyway. A wonderful woman and I spent a day at estate sales on a Saturday. We both needed things for homes and businesses. We started just helping each other. Our journey together was respect for living our own lives. We “dated” over a thermos of coffee and things to do on Saturdays. Our relationship of course became more over time. We evolved in casual clothes without expectations. We have been together a decade now in our 70’s.
Yep! I am 60,and my last relationship recently ended when he got lost in alcohol, and for years, refused any help for it. I know I don't want to be alone forever, but for now I'm enjoying the peace of it. When I get back out there, I'll expect the man to pay for that first date. I am well-fixed financially and if he's not generous enough to buy me a meal, I might think he wants a free ride. I'm way too cute for that! We all are!
I'm 67, F. I have had a rough 10 years with autoimmune disease but have learned to manage it with lifestyle changes. I'm thinking about dating again. I'd like to have someone to go do things with. That would be wonderful. Keep it simple.
I loved my 15 years older husband. He was the best thing in my life. I was a very difficult and damaged person. I miss him so much.
you should have treated him better
Yes. Meet for a cup of coffee and discuss future plans if you feel chemistry. I have absolutely no chemistry for what this older gentleman is and says. I am happy that she spoke up!
It's wonderful to hear both male and female feedback. As a woman we often want to know what a man's opinion is of friendships then possibly dating...Thanks
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I am old fashioned-- i want my date, especially if it’s a first date to pay for what i am going to eat be it breakfast, lunch or dinner!
That’s being a GENTLEMAN!
I would feel insulted if a man didnt pay for my dinner.. I would never see him again..
No its age of equality. I dont want an old beggar woman.
Are you game for dollar pizza 😘
@Kittie Kellie My allowance more than that.
@@violethatzes7325 🍩
Keep the first date simple, meet for coffee, talk and then decide if you want another date and have dinner.
Nice to get to know someone a little first.
💪😊
Absolutely. No pressure, just a beverage and conversation to see if you have things in common and would like to spend more time together?
I’m all for the coffee date first. No big expense. Whoever initiated the meetup should be able to flip for coffee. And with nothing else in the way (like a meal) it’s just time to talk and get to know a bit about each other. Do you have anything in common and would you like to spend more time with this person, to get to know more about them? Was it comfortable chatting with them? Did you have similar sense of humor? We’re you physically attracted? How does he see a woman’s place? I am the woman who enjoys a mans help with things, I respect a man who has a good work ethic, whether that means he’s still working or retired and taking care of his property. I like the man to take care of the vehicles and I’ll take care of the home. And I love a man who enjoys manning the grill 😊. I enjoy flirting with my guy. Winking across the room, kisses here and there, that hug from behind when I’m doing dishes, just those gestures that show love. As you can see, even after having to become strong by being single, I’m no feminist.
I just don't want to have to tell someone my life story anymore. Also, young people are simple. They haven't accumulated the baggage older people have.
Im too old to be a cougar. A sabertooth tiger?
@@pricewood1284 I'm glad I don't feel old, but other people my age sure look it. 🤔😄
@@pricewood1284 You must be young at heart. I often see old classmates and its a reality check to see how OLD they look. We still feel 25 on the inside, but outside time have moved on. 😂
@@pricewood1284 I have sad news. I survived covid but my dear 94 year old mum did not. I hope you and yours are well.
@@annawimpey5307 🤣
We are so blessed to have support groups and therapist , and such great experienced folks that want to invest into our lives to help us experience the ultimate experience of having love to give and be able to receive love that makes our limited time here on earth the most enjoyable it possibly can be ! With a grateful heart I truly say thank you !
I am so glad the man addressed the elephant in the room right off the bat. The man is brutally honest.
At age 69 I’ve dated on and off the last 10 years since a divorce. On the first date I tell the guy it is a “Meet and Greet” and I will pay my way. More than once the gentleman demanded to pay. I agreed if he’d allow me to leave the tip. Usually we agreed.
On the first encounter I do notice his wardrobe, condition of his shoes, the cleanliness of his vehicle, especially the floorboards. If he has to move things so I can get in or sit , his house and life probably looks the same. I want someone that is neat and clean.
Very astute of you Peggy. Funny how some women believe that men with money got that way by being dumb. Those women are going to get “swept off their feet” alright…by a knucklehead.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I would never get in a vehicle with a new man on a first date. Meet him somewhere. Don’t let him know where you live til date 4 or so. You don’t know what he might do.
Yes! I'll add another item. Table manners! If he eats like a Neanderthal and holds his utensils like they're weapons, Bye, Bye !!!
@@essieessie5399 had a guy I already knew bring lobsters to my home. A 2nd date. On 1st date he didn’t eat anything. I bought corn and potato salad and bread. He cooked the lobster then ate just his lobster, in less than a minute. Ripped it apart and guzzled it. Not a bite out of the items I bought. I was done eating about 30 min later. He left and I haven’t invited him back. He’s late 40’s, so knows better.
I've made too many mistakes. Personally being happy with yourself matters most
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
❤
This is apples and oranges. Either you ask me out and pay or we meet more as friends - and both are exciting possibilities! But I lean heavily on experience that if you ask me out in anyway shape or form and then you want to go halves-ies, that would kill it most likely.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
When a man asks the woman out and if he has the money, its the gentlemanly thing to at least want to pay. ❤❤
I get the man's point that the purpose of a first date is just to get to know someone - one of many they would invite out. In that case I would be quite happy to split the bill (or pay my part, which is what we normally do among friends). That way there's no sense of obligation. I would much prefer a first date to be a walk, perhaps with an ice cream or other little snack en route.
I've outgrown fairytails, I want real life, I don't expect a Price Charming.
@Spring Lemon what do you mean
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Interesting! I recommend to my clients that they don't interview their date. That is the most common negative feedback I receive after a date.
But I DO offer tips and tricks to find out the important stuff without interviewing! Good job, folks!
I agree.....No one wants to face ' the Spanish inquisition",lol. I am wary of men who start asking me ALL KINDS of questions, and are things that would become known , given a period of time and patience.
Hello
@@texasstardust6010 hello
I am more interested in their personality and how they treat the wait staff and if their eyes light up while they’re talking. Their body language and yes, if he picks up the tab.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Yes ! Alpha men allow me to relax into my femininity. Ahhh.....how nice!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Margaret, I am so happy that I found this channel and that I have access to the invaluable content you provide here. I'm just a few years shy of senior "territory" and still learning to accept that I'm getting older whether I feel like it or not. Sixty and Me has been a welcome comfort and is very inspiring to me. Also, thank you so much for giving us (your viewers) something to look forward to about getting older.
I’m old school. You ask me out, you pay. I would view a man that wants to split a check as a cheapskate.
It’s only normal for the man to do the paying... well in my opinion
@@ethanro2205 Yes! Let a man be a man!
Really...a cheapskate for splitting a check...well I wish you luck out there...
@@ethanro2205 beta male mentality
@@eb9442 I don’t need it, but thanks anyway 😆
Personally, on a first date, I prefer to pay my own way and I'd rather meet for coffee during the day than go out to a fancy dinner. Then if we want to see each other again, maybe go for a walk or to a movie. I would rather get to know someone before making a big investment.
I love the going for a walk scenario. I like going to places where we can talk and not have to be silent, like in a movie. Walking is great, coffee or a light meal. Maybe even go for ice cream.
@@charlestremblay256 chocolate chip mint
I’m Jeffery by name, 55 years old live Arizona Scottsdale I’m windowed lost my wife 6 years ago, I got more interested in your profile because it look real and sensible so I decided to add you so we can have a conversation and know if you are looking for what am also looking for plz write back to me as I would like to know more about you
@@jefferycailean5314 hello Jeffery, by name...sorry for your loss. I am in a committed relationship. I placed my opinion on this video only as a suggestion for others. I was not posting for a date. I apologize for any misunderstanding. Have a great day.
@@charlestremblay256 hello Charles. Sorry for any misunderstanding but I am in a committed relationship. Yummy ice cream flavor though.
This is spot on! Direct and real... Ask the hard questions!
When I decide to go out with someone, we’ve usually been talking from anywhere to a week to four weeks and I’m sorry if this age, if a man doesn’t pay then that’s not the kind of man that I want. I’m great at being a woman and I want him to be great at being a man. Once we become a couple I don’t mind paying for things here and there but I want my man to take care of me in certain ways and I will take care of him.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Im over 65, retired, and debt-free. I spend most of my free time volunteering.
Good for you volunteering God's blessings 🙏😇😇
So glad to see these two on with you again, along with the fresh, frank conversation. So refreshing 😎. Nothing says, ...“I’m a strong, considerate woman “ to anyone, than ...“I’ll pay my own way this time.”... regardless of who asked who on the first get together, date, or whatever you want to call it. Then it can turn into fun banter if things are progressing positively.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
That's a good idea, Kitty!.....the idea of making more fun out of it by bantering back and forth about the issue!
I once dated a woman that I thought was shallow because of a comment she made. “You make this all about me and I will then make this all about you”. In reflection I have always believed that you treat a woman like a precious object, until they show you that they are not.
Eventually I found my special partner (now wife) she was 50, I was 56. We are now marries 13 years and the greatest compliment she ever gave me was “ should you ever pass, I will never marry again because no one can ever treat me as well as you do.
My wife asked me if I would remarry if she passed away. Yes I said. She then asked if I would keep the house. Yes. I said. She then asked if remarried would keep the bed. Yes. It’s brand new. Next she asked if I would give her golf clubs to my new wife. No I said. She is left handed.
I am dating a widower, and I think it would be untrue to think that " no one could treat you as well". My boyfriend treats me extremely well, and I know that he treated his late wife very well. There are people who can be just as good, people like me, who also treats people well.....there are actually people out there who can love more than once...a great, but different love, and I would never assume differently.
😂@@vintbonner1378
@@vintbonner1378 I probably shouldn't have laughed, but this was funny!!! Thank You!
I would also say: "Ok, let's split!" but it could be a reason for not meeting him again! If a man doesn't have the money to invite me at our first meeting he could be stingy at all times! 😉
My "gentleman" and I take turns paying the bill. One of us pays and the other leaves the tip. Or one of us pays for dinner and the other purchases the movie tickets. We're both financially stable. It seems fair.
Frugal is not cheap!!! Friends only..
Friends first only....Never let anyone claim dominance over one. Be yourself!!!!
If a man asks me out, he pays! I am a fun date, and he is happy to spend time with me! Even if I don't want a relationship, we had a fun evening.
I haven’t dated in years after trying online dating unsuccessfully. I find it impersonal and many men don’t honestly portray themselves in their profiles. I’d love a discussion with Lisa and Ken about how to write a good profile.
Hey Anne
Maybe I can be your perfect man
Anne-Marie Landry it’s not about my
Profile I find it to be the men being truthful on their own profile and I’m not one to jump in with two feet
Who's up for online dating, really want a wife😞😞
Gotta be real careful out there
....I have to say that most profiles I have seen online, are either fake or , as you stated, not honestly done. I find this online dating thing to be tedious, and disappointing. ....I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting someone...but I am such a " dinosaur ", lol that I believe in respect , boundaries, etc. I had a man want to french kiss me on a first meeting /date and I was ' uhhh. NO'. who are you ???" That gave me pause in regards to even seeing him again...I found it completely inappropriate.
It seems so complicated and with so many rules. I am over 60 and just dipping my toe into dating after many years and all this talk has made me more hesitant to do so. Maybe leave it all up to God while living life to the fullest possible and forget about all this talk? Maybe we will see.
Agreed. If God wants me to be with a man, he'll drop him into my lap.
What if the man you may be meant to be with has the same attitude and you live parallel lives, perhaps in neighbouring churches? That said, I tend to agree with you much of the time!
I glad everyone is having the same problems as me, we as women can be too critical and I have been guilty of cross examining a date to see if they fit my check list, but the men tend to be very guilty of eyeing you up and instantly deciding if they want to bed you and if not they don’t even bother being polite or finishing the date. Add to that, that we are all different it’s a minefield.
WOMEN THAT APPRECIATE,A VERY HONEST ASSESSMENT.
It goes both ways!!!! If I'm not physically attracted...I won't even go out on a first date...what's the use!!!! There is that thing...chemistry...as well..some people are attractive..but ugh...no personality..you have to get passed all that..for a first date to even accure...then you find out if you have enough in common
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
@@danscott4507 WTH, thie isn't a dating site and you say the same thing to everyone.
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you’re
Sometimes I think we forget, what do I have to bring to the table? Both parties need to have a look at that, I feel. That sets the stage for an honest encounter in most cases.
just got out of a 30+ marriage for deception. I am focusing on myself and helping others. I need a break from relationships but so happy for others who are stepping back into the dating world ❤ I would like to start as friends first. That's most important to me....be a high value woman ladies. You're worth it!!! If I invite someone out I pay and expect the same from others.
It sounds like you’re in a really positive place, focusing on yourself and supporting others after such a long marriage. Taking time for yourself is so important, and starting as friends is a great approach. It lays a solid foundation for any future connections. Your perspective on valuing yourself and encouraging others to do the same is inspiring! How do you find ways to nurture your own interests while also helping others?
In my country men will always pay for everything if they invite u out,🌹
Price Wood12 haha,yes, men in our country they do know that,if he doesn't,no lady will ever go out with him.🤣😂☕️
Price Wood12 do u think so? I am a straightforward person,can I know what's price wood12 meant?hahaha,that makes me think that u are selling woods.🤣😂🤣
Price Wood12 that's the fact!
Price Wood12 , I do think that would be nice, hehe
Price Wood12 u can sent me your number (WhatsApp )
I fall in the middle of both dating experts...for the initial meetings, I have paid, or split the check or the man offered to pay. Depends on the type of meeting. I pull out my money/credit card to pay for myself first. If he offers to pay the whole check, so be it. I don't necessarily want an alpha Male, but someone respectable, assertive considerate of my feelings.
Big mistake. Men should always pay and a real man always will. Men make more money and they are the man not you! If it is a date; always let the man pay because he is the man and he is the one who is hunting! Just be the respectable, desirable lady that men long for. Be a lady .
Whatever works for you,
When I dated my last husband, always paying for our own items, BUT that set the precedence after we married. He made 60 times more $ than I and we agreed to split the bills. That was before I knew how much he earned and that crushed me as I was also supporting my two sons. If I were ever able to have another man, he would pay for everything and put me on a pedestal, treating me as God instructs.
I am curious about what Ken's love life is like and why anyone should listen to him talking about splitting the check. If a man can't buy you a piece of chicken he either doesn't really like you, or doesn't have it in the budget...either way, run!
@17:00 nooooo Ken and right on Lisa! I want a man who will step up and court me!! Yes, later if entering into a committed relationship expenses should be shared. But in the beginning I want to be wooed!!!! These darn feminist have practically ruined the dating field for us traditionalists!!!! Furthermore, I certainly DO NOT want to be treated like a best-bro!!!!! WTH!!
No choice, the times are a changin 😉
🤣 Best bro... I totally agree with you 🤣these feminists
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Hi
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
If I asked her out...and I will...then I pay...
This 3-way conversation was very good and most helpful. Do some more please!!!! and thank you so much!
Married for 32 years and separated for 20 years. At first desperate to find a companion because never before alone in my whole life, going from large family to married at 20 so was terribly painful. Spent first Christmas alone in my 50's. I was so lonely I was happy if there was a fly in my apartment, something else alive. I know sounds silly, but that type of loniless is very painful. Now 20 years later, I've grown, own my own little condo, and did it all without a man, well, my brother in law did lend me money to buy it, but I paid it off quickly, not wanting to be beholding to anyone. Alone now, but not lonely. A nice platonic companion would be nice though,, a coffee together or a drive, movie etc.oh well, sorry tor long comment.😊
I’m 60. No freaking way do I “date”anyone now.
I’m looking at one foot in the grave, empty nester(kids grown up) and divorced now over 11 years!!!
So…!!!!😀
I’ll be fishing, and hunting, metal detecting, remodeling homes, buying property, etc… but/
Dating was to grow into a marriage!
Marriage did grow into a family!
And after that?-
You retire to the good life!
The way it should have been!
Cheap, self sufficient, and practical!!
FINALLY !! Yeeeee-haaa! Peace and prosperity!
your hand must really hurt
Wow. Dating can be about so much more than a family. Now we know.
A simple and inoffensive way to do an “interview” is to bring up your own thoughts on a topic and then stay quiet. Most people feel uncomfortable with a prolonged silence and they will leap into the breach with much more information than you might expect.
I definitely agree that we want to be swept off our feet. It is a total turn off if a man asks me to help pay for dinner, especially within the first few dates. It makes me think the guy is cheap, not a gentleman.
Hi
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
@@danscott4507 You say the same thing to all the women???? Maybe you might try a dating site. Good luck
That doesn't make the man a gentleman
Hello👋how are you doing today and how is the weather condition over there
I have strong conviction about dating someone that is a different political party and as a Christian, dating someone that isn't a Christian.
Same here. Being a Christian is a must.
Me too. I’m a devout Christian, I love the Lord. That is most important , with Jesus, I am never alone , so no desperation or rush .
Extremely hard to find anyone who is not character disordered and controlling.
Amen to emotional intimacy. Total turn on. Precursor to physical intimacy.
Absolutely! Emotional intimacy is such a powerful foundation. It creates trust and understanding, making physical intimacy that much more meaningful. When you can connect on that deeper level, everything else just flows naturally. What are some ways you find help foster that emotional connection?
That “younger women appreciate older men more” thing is *absolute* bull pucky.
It's aestethics. Older women have a phyisical disadvantage. Men of all ages will still take the waitress, if they have $$,
I think they appreciate their money 🤷♀️
I am so glad I found this channel.. Actually made ME smile.. Needed this 😅
A lot of good perspectives, valuable insights, information, and ideas. With respect to the question of just who pays for the first date, it hardly seems a valid question for anyone over the age of fifty. The idea of splitting the cost is clearly that of the much younger generation, and certainly not appropriate (in general) for those of us that truly are "seniors". As a gentleman, it goes against my grain to NOT pick up the cost. Now my main problem is that I have been unable to locate any nice ladies with whom I would like to engage in intelligent conversation. I will not look in bars or other places that simply have failed me in the past. I have tried libraries, book stores, the post office, grocery stores, laundromats, Walmarts, pharmacies, etc.. Ladies, am I looking in the wrong locations ?? I humbly ask for your guidance on the subject of where may I find you ? Please note that I am not suggesting that you will find me appropriate for your own individual requirements, but perhaps one of you will. Thank You.
Nice to know there are some "old fashioned" gentleman around. Today's dating scene is very different and confusing. I have stopped dating actually, too many people say "I don't any game playing", yet I seemed to find the ones who say it but turned out to be masters of the game. Good luck in your search, i hope you found/find the right person.
Not at Walmart :) I often take myself out for lunch and it's so strange when there may be 3 tables with single people seated at them. I know in Covid-time things are different but if you are in that situation don't be afraid to make eye contact and if the lady smiles just ask if you can join her. I would love for restaurants to have a table set aside for people who would like to share a table, and if it could be part of the 'open table' booking system so you could see if there were others booked before you go, it would be fun!
I do hope you find someone special. I would suggest church, a class, asking friends or relatives. It will happen, be ready. Keep you’re smile on.
@@gracebollinger4610
Adult education classes,
Let your friends, neighbors, co-workers, family member know your looking for a nice person to meet🍃🍀
Hello, so interesting to listen to all your opinions, Im 74 and lost my husband a year ago, I have 4 male friends, I still don't want to have a loving relationship, one of these friends would like to be more serious. We have gone to concerts, lunch, Art gallery and we decided to split the bill because he brought it up but I would rather have the friend pay for our meal. I find it rather disturbing to bring this up when you would like to feel invited out and not split the bill. On top of that I invited him to the Art Gallery.
We are old school at my age and that is what was done, although I am very independent and I am not looking for a date, it is nice to be invited out. Thank you for all your advice and opinions, Interesting to hear.
Hello👋how are you doing today and how is the weather condition over there
I did date as an older single woman but it was laughably unsuccessful. I got used to the dating drill, where he complained about his ex wife and boasted of his accomplishments, and i nodded and asked questions. Whenever i snuck in a comment about my own life it was never picked up. I am a feminine, mild-mannered person and let them lead the conversation to keep things pleasant, but it was a red flag to decline a second date.
New to your channel.... nice content... enjoying it quite a bit.
As for me: l don't have a problem "going dutch" the first time l might be meeting someone in person. Just a "meet and greet" kind of low-key conversation in a public place....separate transportation.
If things move along after that and he eventually requests an actual "first date"... I would prefer that he pick up the tab.
After that point...if there is a series of dates ensuing, and there does seem to be some mutual attraction: it would seem that we could up with some sort of mutually acceptable arrangement for feeding ourselves.
I was married to a very much older man who has since passed but there was real love, friendship, mutual interests (music), and he was a kind and handsome person. The relationship lasted 18 years and I took care of him at the very end. Money was not a factor. It was a unique situation. I’m now dating someone close to my age. It was the person not the shell and I was very fortunate.
I never anticipate that I split the bill. And yes, if I meet them online, if we go out it is because I was asked. Any man that suggests we split the bill, is gross to me.
Yep! Best way to turn me off.
Great conversation. If you invite me out on first date you should pay. I’ll leave a tip. I may not know you but I do like to be treated like a lady. My boys who are now man was taught by me their mom to alway treat any girl like a lady. If you invite you should pay. By paying the bill simple point blank.
I don't want a man to be prince charming right away. I need to be able to like him as a friend and I want to trust him. Being swept off your feet is a fantasy and takes away from the reality of both people, who they are. I agree with the man.
Also, if a man tries to sweep me off my feet right away, would he do that with every woman ?
After we become friends, that's when he can change his approach and show his interest.
I feel the same way but developing a friendship takes time and it is unbelievable how impatient people are these days!! And I'm not talking years, I'm suggesting a few months.
@@andi2234 that's why I have stayed single since my soulmate died in 2004.
Feel the same friendship first.. and must like the person and trust him..
Yes, I def want to be swept off my feet.
how much do you weigh..?? physically & mentally....and financially..
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Only the juice is not worth the squeeze. At this age range it is now the woman’s job to sweep the man off his feet. Otherwise get a few cats.
So these three people profit off giving bad advice to lonely hearts.
If you want to meet someone joins club where you can meet people. Then of a man approaches don’t torpedo him because when you change your mind a year or more later he will never forgive or forget the disrespect.
I was going to skip this,but you 3 make a lot of sense& are realistic.Thank you for a sane perspective.Personally,the online scene never interested me...too clinical& contrived..a business transaction,an audition, exchange of resumes,etc.I realize the stigma is gone& really nice people of all demographics have made genuine connections.
Good Lord I would never go out with a guy again if he asked me to spread the check.
Especially on the first date.
The key is making room for each other, and willingness to change routines according to the "needs." Acceptance. Willingness to just experience the person without expectations.
The lady on the top left sorry forgot her name,she is correct in just about everything she said about what woman want and expect to some degree,I Loved the gentleman's perspective also,phenomenal video!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
I'm also old school if he can't pay for the first date, why did he ask me out ? if he doesn't offer to that will be the LAST date.
@ wow...did you check to see if she had a set of balls ? LOL
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you
Pretty sure my past comment was deleted, but I’ll don’t necessarily want to be “swept off my feet” but I want to be treated like I’m special, not just going out with a friend.
If we split the check, it’s like I’m looking for a roommate and I’m not. I’m looking for someone who treats me more special then a “friend”. Might as well just go out with girlfriends and skip all the hassles of dating.
That said, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a first date at an expensive dinner...that’s too much pretense anyway.
First date can be free! A walk and maybe a cup of coffee if you want to spend more time with them.
So true.
If you have to pay, go out with a great girl friend and be guaranteed a good time.
No woman is attracted to a mean tight guy.
@@philippaotton2297 Just because he is frugal, doesn't make him mean.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
This guy is def not a southern gentleman and that's what this southern belle would expect, is for the guy to pay for the meal especially if he wants to make a good impression. And this guy would not get another date either!
Southern gentlemen are the greatest. Southern belles are strong but we are ladies we let them be men.
Absolutely!
@@lynnebailey8808 Strong doesn't = domineering imho. If you can't be a man, but a mouse, then WHO needs that. Southern born & bred folks are strong as we didn't get coddled. We upheld values & our name.
Hello 👋 How are you doing today and how is the weather condition over there!
First date I always if I agree to go, respond yes but only Dutch treat. This way I feel no obligations for anything.
Pat Cyzauskas Yes, that's the way my dating went with the three ladies I've "courted" in the past three and a half years. Only one would let me pay more often than not. I know that was a relationship that had potential for more, though it ultimately ran its course for other reasons, some to this day escape me. Beyond 60, we're big people, right? A man can ask to pay, and if she says she'd rather go Dutch, that's cool, too.
I think older women should seek companionship with women instead of men. Woman naturally are communal and can be happier being free, engaging with pets, and having close female friendships. As we age we need peace and freedom. We don’t need to be focused on anyone but ourselves. We spend our entire lives taking care of others, sacrificing, not able to pursue dreams because of children and being a wife so after 50 this time is for us.
May I say as a man, I love an independent woman that knows what she wants without going overboard.
Per this video, you would have to specifically state exactly what "going overboard" means. it could mean anything.
She’s right! I’m an independent professional - splitting first date is fine - BUT - disagree with me if you will , but women have been ‘disadvantaged’ in many ways throughout history - financially and otherwise. As a heterosexual woman I for myself realize that strong attraction STILL comes when a man shows the ability to ‘protect and help’ whether it be at least a show of some financial willingness, a bit of an ‘I am able to take charge’ behavior. I’ve dated many of the ‘other’ - and I am soon put off by my feeling that I have to continue to be ‘the one who takes care of everything.’ I agree with her!
In over 60 widowed and find most men I date do not want to do anything except come to my house. I do not trust strangers in my house so they don't come and don't ask me out.
Do they expect to be waited on or just lack the imagination to plan a date?? I wouldn’t invite a man I don’t know into my home either..
Sounds like you are getting what you asked for.
Both great arguments. I appreciate the balanced and mature perspective. Thank you!❤😅
I totally agree with your female guest....if the man asks you out he should pay. But it does seem a trend lately that makes want you to split or pay the bill. That makes me run for the hills!
If you can't afford to date dont ask! Your Male guests seems this way!
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Great comments from the gentleman. I kinda disagree with the lady about men become great friends. The majority of Men are not interested in platonic friendships with women. They are always hoping the friendship will turn to more so it is better to avoid the constant little hints if you are not interested.
I do not want to be swept off my feet.
🌹🌹Thanks for sharing. May your heart be happy and your days be bright, Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget,we Could we be friends if that's okay with you’re
I have found when I share my experiences a conversation will start on the topic of what I share. I’m also a retired Behavioral Health medical staff person with over 35 years of experience working with people in recovery and learning about relationships.
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment on here and I like your comment. I can tell you're a very positive person. If it's okay with you I'd love to be friends
Some people "date" for sport. The online thing can turn into a veritable hobby, for some. That's not my thing, so I'd first change the terminology. It's a MEET, not a DATE. Since I always pay for my own coffee or whatever when going out, that's what feels best (to me) on a meet--with men and women both. I'd like you guys to address the issue of reacting to seeing one another in person for the first time, though. First meets between seemingly compatible people online can be devastating if someone expresses disappointment (eye rolling, etc) right off the bat. If this happens to you, I would not bother staying. Note: I stopped dating because male behavior was ridiculously abusive. Not all 70 year-olds look like Raquel Welch or Jane Fonda!
Takes a lot of many to look like Jane Fonda!
Thanks for the video. The best part of the video is reading the comments. The take away I get is the man always pays for attention, from women. Women fundamentally don’t need men but they will put up with them for a price and if their entertainment value is of merit. Wealth is used as a measure of potential friendship. I can live with that.
The criticism piece runs both ways!
If we have really grown then we will have outgrown childhood fairytales and fantasies...and come to some new realities and understandings. I find I don’t understand dating rules after 60...perhaps there are no hard and fast rules! Of course not! We are individuals first with different life experiences...the good, the bad and the ugly!!
Split the check. Everyone has to eat, but not everyone you are going to continue to date. When you KNOW to whom you are dedicating, follow through with the investment. Expect courtesy & don’t fight over capability. If he opens the doors for you, let him. Keep your eyes open for someone who fights over some courtesy as if his capability is in question. He likely has low self-esteem. He is there to compete with you, not to cooperate with you. Key: Likely he won’t be a door opener, either.
Also, show up with WRITTEN likes/ dislikes/ deal makers & dealbreakers, exchange the list and go from there. That way, no one can just go along to get along while hiding some potential deal breaker.
People don’t check the others values and integrity …that’s number one.
The guy is right about coming on too strong. Meet for coffee. What is the deal with the some big romantic dinner for the first date? What about a walk in the park and just nice sandwiches. Coming on too strong is weird. You don't know the person yet.
I think if you met someone online and wanted to meet in person, it should be agreed to go somewhere simple and each person pay their own check. But if a man I met in person asked me out on a date, he should pay the check. But it should still be somewhere simple and not expensive on the first date if it’s just so you can get to know someone. If it’s someone you seen several times, like at work, church, or something similar, if the guy asks you out, they should pay. It still doesn’t have to be fancy but something more casual like Applebees, a steakhouse etc. not a coffee shop.