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Hello I have a very simple question that has a big curiosity behind it is there a difference on a person when they have lived a good life versus when I have lived a bad life?
my dad passed away 13 days ago and when he did, the hospice nurses let me scream and cry on their shoulders. they also made everything painless for him, and he was surrounded by family. thank you and other hospice nurses for what you do
My grandma was too! She sadly coul hold it anymore and couldn't open her eyes eat or drink because she couldn't swallow but she fell asleep and passed that night
We did that too , my grandpa begged and cried for months that he didn’t want to die in a hospital room where we all couldn’t gather around to see him. So we did hospice. You could tell it was a good thing for him. He looked like he was so much better and felt like he wasn’t suffering from his cancer.
@@raynaakuma9981 it gives you more time to get to know them better and focus on your relationship instead of just the health for us Some of my best memories of her are when she was on hospice. Fly high.
As a nurse of 17 yrs, I so approve this unfortunate message. It's not for the faint of heart, and the money doesn't talk to you when you're burned out.😢
Respiratory Therapist of 20 years….when I retired, I realized I had enough of seeing patients die. RT’s are always on the code team. Assisting with the intubation, helping to ventilate the patient and then managing the ventilator. We are the one who takes the patient off the ventilator when the patient is brain dead,or the Dr. writes the order and the family makes the decision to remove the brain dead patient from the ventilator. Often the family wishes to be at the bedside when the patient comes of the ventilator. I always explain to the family, how it will be done, how the patient ‘s color of skin will change, that they will not suffer as the brain no longer functions, due to not breathing. This is a very difficult time for the family. I tell them that they have made the hardest decision they’d will ever make, but that it is because they don’t want their loved family member to just exist, without real life. I offer a hug if they would like one. I give them time to pray or saying goodby to the patient. This a very tough time for them. It must done with care and love. I worked in every patient area and ER, there are patients and deaths and things I’ve seen that to this day make me tear up, as I will never forget that day or those patients. I loved my job, but I realized I had enough of seeing people die. I had to make those decisions for my mom, and now I face this time with my hubby. We had made our DNR decisions years ago, my hubby is in hospice, it’s the best decision for him. Tough for me. Bless all of you who face or have to make this decision.
No amount of money is going to buy back those patients lives, or the countless hours you brave people spend putting every ounce of yourself into. Anyone in the medical field is truly special, you do so much for people who may never see you again and throw yourselves into scarring scenarios to help others, from the bottom of my heart please take care of yourself.
@@bakokat6982 it's an amazing thing you chose to do with your life, and quite a burden to bear now that you're in retirement. I spent a lot of my time in the hospital from an early age, all the way into my 20's, and it was the nurses who made all the difference to me during those times. I ended up addicted to pain medication, unfortunately, and it was a nurse who got me on the right track to recovery, also. The work you guys do is often overlooked and underpaid. I know you're facing a lot of struggle and heartache right now, but I hope you find peace.
@@bakokat6982 if you don’t mind me asking is your husband saved. I’ve never experienced death close to me until October 18th. It was my grandmother… she was also my mother too, she took care of me while my father worked during the day. The reason I ask if your husband is saved because it made it so much easier for me and my father along with the rest of the believers in the family to be at peace with my grandmother passing because we KNOW that if heaven is real she’s there. She was a big believer. I’m a judeo-Christian and I believe but I definitely have some doubts. I know my grandmother has some doubts because she would tell me she stayed awake until 3 or so in the morning scared to go to sleep. This went on for a long time. But the way she passed is she fell early Sunday morning at 3:30 getting out of bed to “make the bed up” as she told my aunt Bonnie who she lived with because she couldn’t live by herself. She had many strokes. a major one and countless mini strokes. Well she fell and hit her head. She was conscious but they couldn’t get to her because she fell up against the door so they had to call the ambulance to get her up. Well the paramedics checked her out, didn’t see nothing out of wack. But she did complain about a headache (what my aunt Bonnie told me I wasn’t there) the paramedic and my aunt Bonnie put her back in bed. Then at about 6:30 or so my aunt Bonnie heard something fall (it was the water from the bedside table) she was half on the bed half off, out, unconscious. She then fell to the floor or something because my aunt Bonnie said she specifically remembered looking back in there while she was on the phone with 911 (my cousin zack was there also trying to sit her up) but she said she looked in there and granny was “wrag dolled” out on floor. Well the ambulance took her to the local hospital. Still no consciousness or anything from granny.. they then flew her to Greenville NC to the hospital there. They did a CAT scan and her brain was so full of blood, the fall shifter her brain over. I don’t know how she was up when she first hit the floor. Because of her age and her being in blood thinners and along with her weight and many other things along with the severity of the brain bleed it was nothing they could do unfortunately. We immediately took her off life support once all the family got there to let it be in Gods hands. I felt deep down that granny wouldn’t want to be on that machine the doctor told us that even if she did wake up she would never move her limbs. Her pupils weren’t responding or anything or that was a sign it was no hope. She ended up passing away between 5:00-6:00 am Wednesday October 18th I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to force my beliefs upon you or your family, that is your choice. But I feel saddened by the passing of my grandmother but I’m also no glad or happy but content is what I’ll call it. I’m content with feeling deep down inside of me she is dancing and singing with a now beautiful angel voice (she wasn’t a beautiful singer but she tried and she liked too sing🤣❤️🩹) I am just too selfish to not feel saddened because I will *not* * be able to see her for a long time until it’s my time (hopefully no time soon I’m a young aspiring man) Just to be 10000% transparent. When I was saying my goodbyes before I left Tuesday night I was telling her how it was okay and how we all will be okay. And all that. Then I said “I will see you again granny, but hopefully not too soon” 🤣🤣❤️🩹
This is exactly why I kept my mom at home and had hospice care. She died peacefully in her bed last Christmas with my sister and I holding her hands. Hospice nurses are the best❤️
I am a Respiratory Therapist. I remember the very first time we withdrew care on a pediatric patient. I remember walking into the room where my patient was surrounded by her whole family and having to remove the breathing tube and turn off the ventilator knowing she would die within minutes. It was the worst thing I had ever had to do and I did it with tears falling down my face. Later that night, my patients mother came to console ME. I asked for her forgiveness and explained it was my first time… and she hugged me and told me to never lose my compassion because it touched her to her heart that I cared so deeply for her child.
I held my mums hand after she unexpectedly went into cardiac arrest one morning, my heart was breaking but I stroked her hair, kissed her on the forehead and thanked her for raising me to be who I am. This was almost 13 years ago, I was 16 and surprisingly so level headed. She had myself and my brother while she passed until the paramedics came. I miss her every single day ❤
My dad never worked in hospice, but he is a nurse. He told me that when a patient is going to die, it's best to give them whatever medication they need to ease their suffering. Sometimes the medication goes above the survivable limit, but what matters is that they're not in pain.
Big misconception is the medicine kills them faster. I’m working with a hospice patient now who takes morphine for COPD it relaxes the lungs and thins secretions to let her breathe and she has family tell her not to take it to much. It’s insane
I work as a nursing assistant in a long-term care facility and I have to say that I am always so relieved whenever hospice decides to put one of my residents on morphine. It's sad because it means the end is near, but it's comforting knowing that the sweet old lady I've been watching suffer for over a year is finally allowed to start letting go.
@jessyvalentine7492 so long as they have a DNR or have given their (or their caretakers) concent for the medicine, it should absolutely be allowed. If it's given without the responsible party's concent, that's 100% murder.
@@jessyvalentine7492 that's because they care about the patient... not your egoistic need to see your family member awake till the end. I have several nurses friends and trust me, they care, they don't give medication just for fun but because they know.
Beautiful. I’m so glad there are nurses like you. When my moms mom was dying from cancer in 1982, home hospice was new. And they lived in a smaller town. Her husband was determined and finally found the one nurse who knew what he wanted. They made it possible for her to die at home surrounded with family.
So glad she married a keeper. ❤️ Men get all hung up on caveman protect and provide, deciding they're worthless if they can't kill a mammoth with their bare hands or buy three mammoths, already killed and dressed, but *that* is protecting and providing, right there.
Your moms mom??? Dude… I do not mean to be rude but this was really confusing to read bc I thought you said your mom, not your moms mom and it’s like, JUST SAY YOUR GRANDMOTHER !!!! Bc that’s what she was!!!!! If she was your moms mother, that makes her & her husband YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND JUST *SAY THAT* !! Don’t tip toe around saying moms mom and her husband when it was your grandparents… like seriously?!?! 😟✋🏻 .
I was holding my moms hand when it happened but it wasn’t peaceful. My dad didn’t call the hospice nurse when she went unresponsive so she didn’t get morphine. It was the hardest experience I have ever had. I miss her so much. I would have loved to have you as the person caring for her near the end. Thank you for the very important work you do. You are appreciated.
Oh how I relate. I'm sorry you had to experience that. My sister refused hospice because she was young and didn't accept she was dying. They were called in the final few hours and in her case with cancer she probably needed fentanyl. She didn't get what she needed and it was a traumatic death. As a caregiver I will never put myself in that position again. Hospice care is essential.
I love being a hospice nurse. It is such a privilege to walk those last days, weeks or months with families. Our team provides medical, spiritual and psychological support. Doctors need to refer to hospice more often than they do.
My great grandma passed away just this morning. She went to the hospital just over a week ago and only 2 visitors were allowed in but they broke rules and allowed us all in and I got to see her one last time. Forever grateful for that nurse
i’m so sorry for your loss. i remember when the hospital did that for my family before my grandmother passed, it means a lot but you’re never really ready. i obviously didn’t know your great grandma, but im sure she was a wonderful woman and is in a better place now. i hope you’re doing okay :]
@@non-corporealentity67 She was 94 thankfully so while any age always feels too early, it’s nice to know she lived a damn good life as well as a long one. Truly a celebration of life with the mourning. She was an absolutely amazing woman. RIP to your grandma as well, and the condolences are much much appreciated
Most hospitals have a policy that when someone is near death they allow more than the normal max, usually they have a set number like 4 people but they don't mind letting more people as long as it isn't so many it's a safety issue.
I lost my son in 2022, his last 1.5 weeks of his life he had the greatest hospice nurses, who were not only there for Matthew but for me too. I thank god for all his nurses. They ASK him any questions they had, they didn't ignore him they treated him with love and respect.
Let’s be clear, at 98 yo the doctor should have addressed DNR/comfort care with the family. Such a difference between prolonging life and prolonging death
And then there are the families who haven't had contact with a family member whose health has declined drastically due to chronic illness. The patient gets an acute illness, and the family hasn't been clued in by anyone and suddenly has to make a decision in the ER. Hospice care includes guidance and compassion.
The family doesn't always decide on DNR no matter how much they are educated. I had a 90 year old last week who was a full code and I prayed we didn't have to code her. It would have been traumatizing for everyone involved.
Your work is so noble. Not only are you helping patients but also people at home in ways you may have never imagined. Thank you for posting and keep doing all you're spreading peace and also, be peaceful yourself! ❤
@@keroki932 Why in the world would you even think of such a thing that she would eve tell someone that w/depression?? .. This is about ppl who are at the end of their life! .. Hospice vs hospitals!
You are both so blessed to have each other, and to appreciate it. me and my mom were the same-I’ve missed her since losing her seven years ago .I hate seeing so many take their parents for granted -they’re so lucky and don’t even know it -but you do -that’s very wise and I wish you both lots of happiness ahead. ❤
I remember thinking the exact same thing and it bringing me to sobbing cries. Then it happened and I'm still in shock almost 3 years later. I'll never be okay with losing my mother. Cherish her as much as you can while you can. 😢❤
My great grandmother was almost 97 when she died, she lived a full life. The last time I saw her when she was on hospice, she told us about the music played at her wedding, asked us to play it for her. She also mentioned her favorite flower, daffodils. She asked us to read her her favorite poem which mentions daffodils. They were daffodils at her funeral next to her urn. The park in my hometown had daffodils that are in bloom by April and every time I see them, I think of her. She wasn’t conscious when she passed but her last moments were peaceful. She died of old age on March 16, 2021, two months before she turned 97. I think my family she hold a celebration for her on what would’ve been her 100th. Love you Grandma Elaine❤️🩹 and I hope you’re happy with Grandpa Romer in a garden with daffodils 🌼.
I lost my Mum months ago & the nurses were SO good! They let me hold my beautiful Mum in my arms whilst they administered her first dose of palliative care…..she never woke up from that, but it was so comforting to see Mum finally not in pain anymore. You people do incredibly humane work, thank you!
This is the exact scenario in the ICU i worked so hard to gently talk to the family why hospice and making their loved one a DNR was so important. No one wants to die like that. Always tried to explain that we were not prolonging her life, but prolonging her death while she was suffering needlessly. Most of the time, they thanked me and made their loved one s DNR.
This is something that took ages to get through my brothers head. He wanted mom full code and I tried explaining the realities of CPR and the aftermath. It took me caretakers and nurses to finally convince him DNR was appropriate.
I never would. I’m against DNR’s because I consider it to be morally wrong. My psychiatrist says a DNR is basically assisted suicide. I don’t care if I’m in pain, I would want to do everything possible to keep me alive. Them refusing pain meds though is just plain wrong. Only God should decide who lives or dies not doctors or patients.
@@tanya5322 it is entirely her right to do so! If she wants every ounce spent prolonging her life, she gets that. It’s hard on the other ppl but we don’t badger someone into making our life easier by cutting their life off. I am DNR but I would never convince someone who did not want to be.
@@YeshuaKingMessiahAgreed! If the person is of sound mind they should absolutely be able to decide whether they want all the measures taken or none. If they aren't of sound mind I think that's another story and the spouse/next of kin needs to advocate for them and help decide what is best.
Thanks. I love being there to help them have things go exactly as they told me how they wanted things to go....it is so comforting to know they get to say what they want. And I'm very proud to make sure of it!!!!!!
I agree! I could never express how grateful I am for their help with my dad. They took care of everything, from equipment to medication to emotional support when he passed. They are amazing. I could never do that kind of work. Thank you, hospice nurses, for being there for families at the worst time of their lives.
I to had this with my father, he was 65. He was begging for medicine. The doctors said no for almost two months. He was able to have the hospitality of hospice for 14 days. They were able to relax and take away the pain. The nurses were amazing not only for him but for me and my family. I am so sorry for your loss.
@@cheyennev8881or the mother had both the hospital experience and the at home hospice experience...that happened with my dad he was brought back twice at the hospital and then came home on hospice and passed...for the third and final time
I'm so thankful for Hospice nurses! They are true angels on earth. When my beloved mother-in-law passed away, she passed so peacefully with me, my husband, and our daughter holding her hands. The hospice nurse prepared us for everything that would happen. We were not surprised, and most importantly we got to love on mom until her last breath.
That’s exactly how my 90 year old mom passed, in her house in her bed with my sister and I each holding her hands. Hospice was an absolute blessing for us.
Retired Nurse here. One of the most heart breaking decisions that families made about going full code on medically frail patients, especially the elderly. I have seen families put them on vents, dialysis, etc, when they had terminal conditions.
And I have seen decisions like "dialysis " not done because of lack of education. I talked to the 75 year old woman and she "wanted to live". She decided to go on dialysis and went on to live another 10 years even leaving the nursing home and going home to live independently in a senior living center. All because of misinformation. She was so sick because she needed dialysis.
When my 90yo grandma had a stroke, my mother (her daughter) had everthing ready: patient's provision, AHCD, etc My grandma had detoriated into dementia. She was deaf. The stroke left her unable to communicate, she could only move her left arm, but not the hand... It was clearly stated that she didn't want feeding tubes, ventilators and so on...When we came back to the hospital the next day they had inserted a feeding tube. My mother insisted on taking it out and had to listen for nearly an hour to a M.D. how she would kill her mother and that she wouldn't care for her mothers well being before they took it out. The hospital dismissed my grandmother the next day because "they weren't allowed to treat her" Luckily my grandma had already a mobile nursing service and after my mothers desperate call, they calmed her down. Setting my grandma up to full time care and telling my mother where she could get a special bed for rent. My grandma died ten days later, peacefully at home, while her son was reading a story to her, she wrote herself...🥲
I agree. I've seen it happen to people I heard say they did not want anything done. But they are still doing cpr and even going beyond..... trying to put a pacemaker in them. That crushed me. I cried. They moved her fast to the bed. Her wig flew off and they began CPR. I'm telling them she told me she didn't want anything done. But they just did not listen to me. And I was young. It killed me to see that happen. So that is one of the first things I always ask and make sure the paperwork is done stating what their wishes are!!!!!!!...
@@Goaway624 That's so sad! In case of my grandma they had all these things. My mother saw with her own eyes when they put it into my grandmas case in the ER. When my mother saw the feeding tube, she asked about the papers and they said they didn't have any. But when my mom insisted on it they opened the case of my grandma and voilà there the papers are, right on the first side! 🤬
@MaryRosebud Special. My girl is a hospice nurse. Every patient that passes takes its toll, but she realizes that she is able to help make their funal moments as fulfilling as possible. Often she will make special food for them, or try to fulfill a final request. She also realizes that she's there for the family. They need someone to help guide them through the process of losing a loved one. A good hospice nurse is special, and is truly a blessing for the patient and their family.
All of my interactions with hospice workers have been positive. All I can think is they must all have strong faith that they are just guiding the person back out of this life and into Eternity after their brief stay here. ❤️
I work with hospice patients and it is a privilege to care for someone in their last days. We just want our patients to leave this world with the same tender love and care that we received coming into the world
The worst day of my life was the day we put my mom in hospice. It was heartbreaking and felt like we were giving up. I could see that she was both sad and scared. The day she died I was so grateful for hospice. She felt no pain and was able to die at home with everyone she loved around her. I’m an ER nurse and that experience taught me to be so much kinder to patient’s family during a code. I 100% advocate for the family to be in the room if that’s what they want. I don’t want anyone to die without someone they love there. I want all loved ones to have closure that everything that could be done was done.
I used to feel differently. My first code/trauma was an 18yo new father that was in an accident. They allowed the parents in the room. I switched from chest compressions to airway and noticed we weren't suctioning blood anymore, but pink saline. He had bled out internally. When the dr called it the mother's screams were heard thru the ER. I always thought it was cruel for family to witness it. When my GPA passed, I was the only one who wanted to stay in the room. I thought I was helping by saying it was cruel bc of my experiences.
@phoenixfire2578 yes and no, sometimes it's the only thing that will solidify the truth of the words coming from your mouth that the person they love is dead and gone. Those ones suck so much though, even rapid infusion does nothing at that point of bleeding out 😕
I'm an ED nurse too. Nothing teaches us compassion like the real life situations we have. I've had 4 PICC lines, meningitis twice, sepsis twice, almost died after my second birth, and I've had cyclical vomiting since birth. I understand and it makes me so much more compassionate
I’m a firefighter, and it’s pretty brutal what happens in the field with a CPR. It’s a lot of people doing literally everything to keep the patient alive, and even with all our resources we’re largely unsuccessful in obtaining ROSC. Whenever the family has a DNR ready for a geriatric family member it is such a relief for us since we don’t have to subject everyone to the trauma of a code.
There was a suction cup combined to Palm holder so the helper was able to press the check by it and lift it up and the lungs filled up. A very genius. One research said it requires 100 continuous presses to increase the blood pressure effective so don't stop in the beginning. Just press and press😉 and press a minute at least continuously. The oxygen already in the body gotta move.
If people knew how traumatic resuscitation is they might be more willing to sign those DNRs. I know I don't want my last moments feeling someone break my ribs, shove a tube down my throat and poke me endlessly with needles. Feeling pain, lots of pain and fear. Just let me pass in peace and not alone. BTW thank you for what you do.
@@hollybug-76542 it depends. I guess one can specify no CPR by heart manipulation. But it is VERY traumatic to just stand by and watch somebody to choke to death because the nurses refuse to suck the ice cream from their throats when the patient is not able to sow anymore. Not nice to follow dying, nit nice. So I would NEVER want to choke to death. You die that way if you wish,I will NOT!
@@GinEric84 I was a volunteer in one Search And Rescue with firefighter capabilities so kinda yes I guess. I have been witnessing some deaths by choking and it's not nice to stand by 15 minutes watching one to fight for their lives eyes literally bulging from the heads! It is traumatic even for those, who see it let alone for those, who were in such situation experiencing it first hand surviving it! Often people adapt and get used to their weakening circumstances and no longer want to die even though they thought they would never want to live in such and such state while still being healthy. Which is why such agreement can shorten life unnecessarily. Also some people have felt the need to experience the NDE in order to have their matters arranged in order to die in peace. It's very gruesome to follow somebody begging for help while dying. So it's not all black out and good bye. There are so much stuff in between, that it is hard to make such forever agreement without knowing all the aspects. Besides most hospitals seem to pressure the close ones to agree with such a thing for the patient without even asking from the patient just to speed up the rotation of the beds in palliative care. The body hardly gets even cold before it is moved away to the cold storage and the room emptied for the next patient. Then there is often no time for grief work after the patient past's away in the name of effectiveness in this society. English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes.
Home care nurses are a GODSEND, we became so close with our dads nurses that they came to his service. They were like part of our family by the end. The appreciation we have for those working end of life care is beyond measure, it is not an easy job by any means.
my mom started (I think) in ER but from there she did the babies and deliveries, then side teaching for nursing classes. she moved to head nurse (coordinator) for a psych ward, and now she has done hospice for 3 years and loves it. It's sad hearing that a patient has passed but the families always say she helped make the whole ending that much easier and more peaceful.
I had read an article in college about how most doctors refuse hospital care themselves because they know the system. Mad respect for the care you provide and all you do Hadley!! ❤
@@NurseHadley I feel like that's similar to childcare. Both my husband and I have worked in childcare and neither of us want to send our kids for more than 1 day a week if we can possibly help it and not until they're verbal. I've met a lot of other childcare workers who feel the same
@@Asharra12 And if you need childcare before they're verbal, as a nanny, I ask parents to please install cameras covering every room and outside areas, and that those cameras are sound recording. If anything like an accidental injury to the child or nanny occurs, that evidence will help immensely. I also ask them to make sure they can see and hear us from their phones and tell them to please feel free to drop by or contact me at any time. Most parents are surprised that I'm not comfortable without a nanny cam of some kind.
That’s my grandpa being retired from internal medicine for almost 20 years and refusing to get a stent with angioplasty because he did not trust such “new” operation and did not like to adjust his current medications. It took the whole family to convince him that it is a really mature operation, and should put some more trust in the system cuz things were not the same as 20 years ago.😅
Retired and could never work in hospital or doctors office again. Was getting so frustrated because everything we learned in school didn't apply. We are no longer allowed to spend time with our patients. Didn't get a raise because I spent too much time with patients. Always have a family member stay with you in hospital. Don't be intimidated to ask questions. Would love to have this nurse in my final days. ❤
In all honesty, I understand that doctors and nurses have other patients to take care of, but I wish they were allowed to take their time with their patients and actually be thorough and check everything they're supposed to, like they used to
I'm an ICU nurse. It breaks my heart when we do "all the things" and the patient doesn't pass peacefully or is left alive with a poor quality of life. Please don't think that everyone in the hospital is looking to keep people alive like that. We have to follow the family's wishes.
What if someone doesn’t want a DNR? I’m against them because I consider a DNR to be a death sentence. It’s basically assisted suicide according to my psychiatrist. Nobody should have the right to terminate their own life. That’s morally wrong. I wouldn’t want somebody to terminate my life. If someone signed a DNR without my consent I swear I would become a ghost and haunt them to their grave for terminating me 😂 I understand about CPR and all that but in my opinion, hospitals should give medication for the pain. That bullshit about meds slowing breathing is nonsense and an excuse for someone to suffer. I don’t care if I’m a vegetable I would want to be kept alive.
The problem is too many people don’t want to think about a living will until it’s too late. So most of the time it’s left to the family members. A lot of people don’t want to feel like they are giving up on their family members and will not understand the realities of what prolonging life would mean for someone who is not capable of healing. There is no easy answer for these situations and it often takes time for everyone involved to make peace with a decision unless the patient passes suddenly. I can’t express enough the importance for everyone to fill out a living Will if you can, while you can.
My pop had palliative care checking up on him in his last few days and he had a several medications ones to calm nerves, settle his mind, manage the pain and a couple more. Because of this he was able to have all of his living relatives apart from two grandsons all sitting around him
My mom went in. Lungs looked white on x ray. After an hour, it was my birthday and my mom was fighting for her life, breathing tube down her throat. Early 50s. The nurse let me stay in her quarantine zone because I was with her when the ambulance came. Doctor walks in while I'm holding onto my mommys hand, crying and begging for her to fight. In plain cold words. Almost annoyed, she said, "your mother is probably going to die tonight. I'd start making plans." Then tried to pull me away when I just wanted to kiss my mothers head. Security dragged me out screaming because I grabbed her coat and all but lifted her off the ground. After 2 weeks of medically induced coma, I got a call from the hospital. And a crackling horse voice on the other side said, "home" my mama lived. The nurses were the ones who saved her. The doctors gave up. I will always hold Nurses higher than doctors.
Thank you for what you do. My dad passed in a memory care unit during one of the COVID lock downs. His nurses all came to my family to say how sorry they were for our loss. They were angels 😇❤. We hated having to make the difficult decision to put him there for his last few months, but realized we couldn't keep him safe and comfortable anymore at home. They made us feel so much better about it.
My grandpa passed while in hospice and although the whole house was screaming, I was only crying of pain. I knew he had left peacefully once he took his last breath. He finally got to see his parents again. This, this is what I want to do when I'm older.
It sounds as if you have a lot of love and compassion. If this is where life leads you you would be suited to do it. 🌸 I am sure he is with all his family🌸
My Mom just passed peacefully at home after reaching the age of 100 & being very healthy until just before the end. My adult son & I were with her taking care of her. I have been a RN for over 40 years but even if I had not I would have known this was the right thing to do for my wonderful Mom❣️
Doing CPR and watching patients die even after your best efforts is really hard. I remember crying by myself when I got off work the first time it happened. I've gotten better at keeping it in, but it still breaks me to see a person who was just alive slip away right in front of my eyes.
@@RoamingwithRover OOH only 1 in 10 achieve ROSC, according to the AHA. In my experience, that's accurate. I've only seen one ROSC and plenty of TOD being called. Never bothers me when they don't make it, but I do feel empathy for the family that are present.
I’ve taken care of 6 family and friends when they’re getting ready to pass. I have worked extremely close with hospice in 4 of those cases and they are all angels on earth!!! Please try to keep your loved ones home! It’s so much better for them especially when they suffer from dementia!! Hospice will come along side you and they help so much!! They’ll help with bathing, shopping, cleaning, and home care!! Please check into what kind of help hospice can offer before making the decision to put loved ones in a care home!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Ive got a short story to tell. I was an RN for many years and I worked in Palliative care for the last few years as well as in Aged Care before I retired. But I spent a little over 2 years working in an Emergency department but it wasn't where my heart was. I ALWAYS took good care of my patients especially the elderly and frail and I made sure that they had a cup of tea and a sandwich after the Doctor had cleared them but a lot of these people didn't have family with them or they had missed a couple of meals by waiting to be seen by medical staff and were, by this time, very hungry. I was told by another nurse that "Working in an ED isn't for you Michelle. You CARE too much". I thought how sad it was that "caring" was something that you could DO too much of". Anyway I really love this channel and I appreciate your efforts towards your patients BECAUSE you care! Thanks for reading.
As a non-medical professional, just plain old person who has taken a few family members to the ER when they were in pain or with my ex-husband, several visits due to a mental health crisis I gotta say I relate to ur story a lot bc I always noticed how ER staff seemed kind of unsympathetic, in general, and it always struck me as counter-intuitive. I'd wonder to myself, why are they in a field thats about taking care of ppl in need if they don't seem particularly concerned w how the person FEELS. It dawned on me that physical needs and emotional needs are quite different and it takes a special type of nurse/ medical professional to take care of their patients emotional needs as much as the physical needs. Seems like YOU are that special type :)
If that truly happened then that nurse was an idiot and not a good representation. Hopefully you stood up to her and stuck to your guns and did what you knew was right because that's what good nurses do and in turn it weeds out the bad ones. I spent over 10 years with my 26-year career as an ER nurse and I cared every day and went above and beyond anytime I could because that's what nurses are supposed to do and I never let some idiot nurse that didn't belong in the field dictate what type of care I gave. We all know that there are horrible nurses out there just like they're a horrible people in every field. It takes the good ones to make a difference and to get rid of the ones who don't belong there by showing them that that type of mentality won't be tolerated. I'm sure you were a fabulous nurse
It's not just caring too much. Sometimes it's just our nature to engage with people and in the ER often you need to stay somewhat detached so that you can function more efficiently. And the pace is often hard-and-fast. I'm an RN and it's not for me either. Thank God there are many kinds of nursing so we can find our own niche.
michellesartori6695, Thank you for reminding me that there's always time to care and make a sandwich for someone. It is difficult to work in healthcare when the goal is efficiency and rescue, rather than acceptance of the reality that 98 year old people are not well served by the brutality of CPR. This is going to be an explosive topic with my siblings regarding our 98 year old mom: mom's DPOA is not accepting that mom's days are numbered. The flip side is the unrealistic expectation that I, the retire-nurse-daughter ALWAYS sit in the ambulance with mom instead of drive my car and follow, so I'm not stranded at the hospital without a car.
The idea of telling a nursing student "you can practice" on someone actively dying makes me so sick. As a nurse myself, I totally understand why it happens, but it just feels so wrong to get practice on an actual dying human.
I get your point but that is what our work and training is all about... We have to start practicing things on the patients since the very beginning.. otherwise we wont be able to learn..
@@pdub707How else do they get real experience? I'm pretty damn sure that practice dummies are a lot different than a person when it comes to practice.
Working for Hospice was the most fulfilling experience…Being able to connect with the patients and families who were facing such difficult circumstances and offer support and comfort. I am still in contact with some of the families of the loved ones who passed❤️
I remember when my stepdad mom and uncle were on hospice I loved there nurses so much they were treated amazingly by them I lost them in September 2010 for my stepdad lung cancer my mom pancreatic and liver cancer on February 2014 and my uncle October 2017 from lung cancer it broke my heart and still does still this very day I miss all 3 of them
This brought back the memories of when my grandparents passed. They were in hospice and passed peacefully in their home. I remember when my grandpa was in his hospital bed my grandma walked over and whispered to him that it was ok for him to go and that she would be okay. That exact night he passed away
I lost my mom 3 days ago because of cancer. Me and my grandmother (my mom's mother) were mentally dreaded. My mom suffered a lot because of cancer for 3 years. She had done 28 chemotherapes and 3 surgeries. Her last surgery was when we lost her. She died 2 days after her surgery. The surgeon told us was that she wouldn't last much because the cancer was literally spreaded everywherein her body. He told us not to tell her anything. Of course we didn't. She was conscious after the surgery and could barely talk because of the pain, the next day she couldnt talk anymore, she would nod her head slightly. A couple hours later she was still barely alive. That was when the nurses installed a heart monitor to see when her heart would stop. At about 7:30 in the morning, I was in the bathroom and my grandma called me to come quickly to say goodbye to my mom. She couldn't say or move at all, she was hardly breathing and when she stopped, I bursted into tears realising she had died. I watched through my years of how the lines on the monitor straightened and my heart broke. I remember after that the last sence to leave tha body is hearing, so I started shouting not to leave me and that I love her. I'm glad that she got to hear that and I was shocked to see tears run down her face after she died. She heard me and this still makes me tear up. Thankfully, me and granny had a lot of people to support us both mentally and financially like friends of mine, neighbors and my mom's friends. The news were devastating because everyone loved her. She was a young, intelligent, beautiful and most importantly, incredibly kind human being. She was everyone's friend and she would ALWAYS help people in need and she would never leave anyone behind. It was tragic of how much she suffered, while she was also divorcing my father who I don't really want to say the terrible things he's done to me and her. At least now she's not in pain anymore and I know that she will always be with me, and love me and pray for me and my grandma. God bless her beautiful soul❤
May God give you the strength to cope through this loss. This made me tear up and I’m sending you a virtual hug. Take care. Your mother is looking over you and will always be there. As a mother, I know the bond between a mother and a child.
Thank you for sharing your story with us I do not look forward to that day. Your mom sounded like a beautiful person just like my mother And obviously raised a great human , I truly do believe that she's with you in spirit. Hugs ❤
100000000% My mom and mother in law were on hopsice & died in their own homes. My grandma and father in law died in memory care hospice. So much more peaceful. Still absolutely heart shattering but you guys make all the difference. Thank you!!!!!! I cried watching this. Bless you!
I LOVED WORKING IN THE HOSPITAL ! IF I WERE PHYSICALLY ABLE ID STILL BE THERE. RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE HALLS. MY BODY WONT LET ME DO IT ANYMORE BUT MY HEART IS STILL THERE. ❤ a retired registered nurse 😊
I’ve been a nurse for 39 years. Many of those were as a home health nurse. I have so much respect for Hospice nurses. It’s not a field just anyone can work in. I’ve never met a hospice nurse who didn’t seem loving and kind to not only the patient, but the family as well. Thank you for the work you do. I know you may have many emotionally exhausting days, and push yourself because your patients and their family members need your support. Again, thank you. ❤
A few weeks ago my grandma had an eye appointment and promised to call my mom when it was done, but she never did, at the end of the day my parents drove over to her house and the lights were out there was a letter from her taxi saying she didn’t answer the door. my parents found her unconscious, and called an ambulance. eventually we found out she had lots little bleeds all over her brain and got in natural coma. none off the nurses or doctors had ever seen something like it, so they didn’t know what to do we visited her many times and her eyes would slightly open every time we talked to her. my aunt from England went to see her to say goodbye and flew back. my mom begged the nurses to just end her suffering and put her down peacefully, but they said it’s illegal. finally we were able to get her to a hospice and I was kinda shocked, my grandma laid in a hospital bed with normal colored blankets, in something that looked like a cozy bedroom. there was music playing and one off those things that sprayed nice scented oils in the room. she always had comfy clothes on and there were no machines beeping anymore. even tho the chance my grandma noticed any off it was little, they still put so much effort into it and I’m forever thankful for them letting her go peacefully. even after she passed they called my mom after the funeral to check up on her and made sure she wasn’t in too deep grief.
I’m very glad she spent the end of her life in dignified comfort and was treated well. People who wake up after a coma often talk of times of awareness of their surroundings, so I think there is a very real chance that she was grateful for the peaceful, kind setting. Thank you for sharing
Hospice was such a special place for me too! I worked in nursing homes and even assisted living. I done time in the hospital but not long. There is something special being the one who cares for them and calms them in that time. Being with the family and helping them let go and be ok. . Hospice workers are truly angels in disguise!
Go to your Dr and discuss being a no code if the Dr feels it's time to let you go. You call the plan .....get it in writing make sure you have a copy for each Dr and child you have. Tell them that's what you want .....best to do it now. Before you get things you don't want!!!
My brother got cancer and went into hospice care less than a year after. The hospice nurse was a part of everything we did and even held our hands when he died. She was the best. He died a week or two after he arrived there, but he was basically dead to the world before we even moved him to hospice. I'm glad there are people like you out there ❤ edit; he was only 26. I was 16
I work in a place that sells medical equipment. I get hundreds of people come in who tell me their stories of hospice nurses and the love and joy they spread to their patients. Even after something so tragic. These nurses are there to bring a smile to their face and it's absolutely beautiful
My husband came home for hospice last week. His first night home i had to call the 24 hour number and the nurse was talking me through something when he stopped breathing and I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. I may have been alone in the room with him, but I wasnt alone. Thank you for everything you do for your patients, and their families.
Because of people like you, my grandfather was able to pass peacefully and without pain. In his own home, with his wife, sister, his child and his grandchildren. Thank you so much for the work you do
I start my hospice career next week & im beyond excited. I'm very grateful for the opportunity. I really do think I was put on the earth do be a hospice aide.
I've watched this around twenty times, and it's just so heartwarming 😢 I hate it when someone special passes away. Even though it was peacefully, it still breaks my heart
My granddad died Aug 31st of this year, at home, on hospice, with my mother and I right there with him. You are the reason that I knew I could tell my mom to have him brought home on hospice and not have to stay in the hospital. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. For giving me that last night i had with him where i could stay up and hold his hand and talk to him, and my mom the ability to hold his hand when he took his last breath. Thank you. With all my heart. Thank you.
My grandpas on hospice and i cant tell you how much i appreciate yall ❤ Edit: my grandpa has saldy passed but he passed peacefully on sleeping meds 💗💗 provided by hospice, love yall keep going❤ (april 16th 2024 🕊)
I have so much respect for workers helping those on their last breaths, i lost my aunt due to MS she was basically like the parent i didn't have when my dad wasnt around and i never got to say goodbye but knowing she was in hospice and passed peacefully and holding her moms hand makes me so happy
i really appreciate your videos. i have death ocd and spend a very large portion of my day obsessing over thoughts of the deaths of myself and my loved ones. it's still not something i feel at peace with but your videos have greatly helped me to start accepting it as a part of life
my grandma was in and out of hospice for most of my life (i was 8 when she passed) and she hated it (she’d rather have been out shopping and having fun with friends than have someone tell her she couldn’t go anywhere bcs of her poor health), but my dad found it rly comforting to be able to be with her when she went. the work u do is so amazing ❤
I once had to do CPR on a 98 year old man. His wife wasn't ready to let him go,they had no children. It was so painful for both of us as I broke his ribs. He lived another 8mos. So sad.
@@cynthiaholland13I’d say eight more months of time to be cherished with his one and only family member, and to provide joy and comfort and compassion to his partner was worth it.
@@doubleeta56 if you aren't familiar with this particular situation, you have absolutely no way of knowing that. It's most likely he never even regained consciousness. Think of this situation.
My abuela was in hospice for almost a year and a half, the doctors originally gave her at maximum 6 weeks and put her on hospice. The nurses were wonderful people and one even became like family to us. My abuela passed in peace thanks to hospice 💕
If it weren’t for my crippling mental illness I’d do this job. It’s such a beautiful thing to be able to help those standing on the bridge about to walk across. You’re amazing for what u do.
My grandmother was in hospice care for 3 weeks before she passed & I'm glad she was. I got to spend sm time with her in the comfort of her home. We held hands, i talked to her about anything & everything 💜 i got some of her clothes today & they smelled like her even after 2 years... i immediately cried. I'm so glad i got to say goodbye to her. She died knowing i loved her & i can live the rest of my life knowing she loved me. I hope i make her proud, i wanna live my life to the fullest so when i finally see her again one day, ill have one hell of a story to tell her 💜💜 so thank you for what you do, it means the world to a lot of people 💜
You are a beautiful person and you are exactly where you should be. I wish we had more people like you in the world. Thank you for your kindness ❤ From one soft heart to another
That’s so sweet my aunt just died last week and the hospice nurse was there so fast and my mom wasn’t taking it well and the nurse stayed and helped us prepare cause none of us could get anything straight so thank you for what you do
I cared for my grandma for two weeks straight when she was ready to go. I couldn't do what hospice nurses do for a living. God bless this woman and anyone who is a hospice nurse. We love what you do😭♥️♥️♥️♥️
My grams was on hospice shortly following a fall where she broke her hip (she also was suffering from dementia, but thankfully never forgot me) she passed gently and peacefully with no pain, surrounded by all of her children, two of her grandchildren, and one of her great grandkids (my oldest) .. I could definitely feel my grandpas spirit waiting for her too 💛🧡 it was the best thing I could have hoped for her at the end. Thank you for what you do. It means the world.
The last words i remember my grandma saying before my family saw her at the hospital, as she was dying of cancer, was please dont let me die here, i want to be home. She passed in the hospital just a few days later and it still breaks my heart to think about nearly 10 years later. She deserved that if anything, to be home where she felt comfort. Thank you for being so strong and helping those in need. Every time i watch one of your videos i get reminded of my grandma and how much she meant to me. She was such a nice woman and really was the backbone of our family, she really made family feel like family, and i think your videos show love in its purest form. Thank you and hope youre doing well yourself ❤
My Mom is 84 and is getting fairly fragile. There are 7 living siblings, but I'm the only one who has been willing to talk to Mom about her final wishes because it makes them both sad and uncomfortable. So I spent several days with Mom going over her wishes and even called a neighbor over who is a notary to notarize it. Mom was afraid my brothers would rather she stayed in the hospital where the "right" people would be there to take care of her. I've talked to them both since Mom and I spoke and all of her concerns about what they would say came true. By that time, Mom and I had spent some time speaking with hospice centers and finding out how hospice works. Mom would much rather stay at home and I'm going to make sure that happens. Luckily, several of my sisters understand what Mom wants and have spoken with her now. The wished if the dying person should always be fulfilled if it's possible. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for this. So many people need to know that hospitals at times can be unintentionally cruel. Thank you for spreading awareness how dying at home can be the right choice for some.
I had a great moment with a family. The daughter was telling me how her and her mom always watched the Kentucky derby together every year, and have been several times. Her mom was close to passing and she wished they could watch it one more time. I told her to pull up the video of last years derby and watch as if it’s this years, her mom was confused and wouldn’t remember last years derby. She did and they had a great day! The mom passed the next day. It was wonderful.
I love watching your videos. They are so accurate. I've been a nurse for 30 years and all of it has been in long term care. I've been told by so many hospice nurses that I should be a hospice nurse because of how well I deal with patients and their families during the death and dying process. My favorite part of my job is listening to their life stories and reminding them that they are still vital and useful to society.
I’ve cared for three immediate family members on hospice in the last few years and I am so grateful for the support hospice provides. I’ve had good experiences with hospice.
I only have wonderful things to say about home hospice. My husband of almost 56 years passed this spring and they were amazing and so helpful to all of us. Thank you to all Hospice employees.
Sometimes we have to be shown that what WE thought would be our best vocation/position ISN'T the best for US...to find the REAL VOCATION we are meant to do. So glad your journey brought you to such a perfect and powerful place! ❤
If you like my stories here, you’ll love my book! I only have 45 days left for preorders and they are my only chance at my book being successful! I appreciate everyone who also already preordered! I love y’all! ❤ nursehadley.com/book
Your stories has helped me lots to be less scared of death and believing that there is an afterlife
I'm waiting for my paycheck to land!
Hello I have a very simple question that has a big curiosity behind it is there a difference on a person when they have lived a good life versus when I have lived a bad life?
Pre-ordered it! I love your stories ❤
Being Mortal and The Conversation,both books by doctors, should be mandatory reading for families facing end of life challenges.
my dad passed away 13 days ago and when he did, the hospice nurses let me scream and cry on their shoulders. they also made everything painless for him, and he was surrounded by family. thank you and other hospice nurses for what you do
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss, I'm glad you had a shoulder to cry on
And you already on UA-cam watching shorts??
@@watchyourmouthbetch the internet has helped me heal from it and if it wasn't for things like this i probably wouldnt be strong now.
The doctor is the one making everything painless. Nurses cannot prescribe medication or make treatment decisions.
My grandma was on hospice and because of the work of people like you she was able to pass peacefully with a dear friend next to her.
My grandma was too! She sadly coul hold it anymore and couldn't open her eyes eat or drink because she couldn't swallow but she fell asleep and passed that night
Its truly a beautiful thing🙏🏼❤️
We did that too , my grandpa begged and cried for months that he didn’t want to die in a hospital room where we all couldn’t gather around to see him. So we did hospice. You could tell it was a good thing for him. He looked like he was so much better and felt like he wasn’t suffering from his cancer.
Hospice was very kind to us when he passed. They sent our family flowers once we got him back from the crematorium.
@@raynaakuma9981 it gives you more time to get to know them better and focus on your relationship instead of just the health for us Some of my best memories of her are when she was on hospice. Fly high.
As a nurse of 17 yrs, I so approve this unfortunate message. It's not for the faint of heart, and the money doesn't talk to you when you're burned out.😢
Respiratory Therapist of 20 years….when I retired, I realized I had enough of seeing patients die. RT’s are always on the code team. Assisting with the intubation, helping to ventilate the patient and then managing the ventilator.
We are the one who takes the patient off the ventilator when the patient is brain dead,or the Dr. writes the order and the family makes the decision to remove the brain dead patient from the ventilator.
Often the family wishes to be at the bedside when the patient comes of the ventilator.
I always explain to the family, how it will be done, how the patient ‘s color of skin will change, that they will not suffer as the brain no longer functions, due to not breathing.
This is a very difficult time for the family. I tell them that they have made the hardest decision they’d will ever make, but that it is because they don’t want their loved family member to just exist, without real life. I offer a hug if they would like one. I give them time to pray or saying goodby to the patient. This a very tough time for them. It must done with care and love.
I worked in every patient area and ER, there are patients and deaths and things I’ve seen that to this day make me tear up, as I will never forget that day or those patients.
I loved my job, but I realized I had enough of seeing people die.
I had to make those decisions for my mom, and now I face this time with my hubby.
We had made our DNR decisions years ago, my hubby is in hospice, it’s the best decision for him. Tough for me.
Bless all of you who face or have to make this decision.
No amount of money is going to buy back those patients lives, or the countless hours you brave people spend putting every ounce of yourself into. Anyone in the medical field is truly special, you do so much for people who may never see you again and throw yourselves into scarring scenarios to help others, from the bottom of my heart please take care of yourself.
I understand you. 35 years here
@@bakokat6982 it's an amazing thing you chose to do with your life, and quite a burden to bear now that you're in retirement. I spent a lot of my time in the hospital from an early age, all the way into my 20's, and it was the nurses who made all the difference to me during those times. I ended up addicted to pain medication, unfortunately, and it was a nurse who got me on the right track to recovery, also. The work you guys do is often overlooked and underpaid. I know you're facing a lot of struggle and heartache right now, but I hope you find peace.
@@bakokat6982 if you don’t mind me asking is your husband saved. I’ve never experienced death close to me until October 18th. It was my grandmother… she was also my mother too, she took care of me while my father worked during the day. The reason I ask if your husband is saved because it made it so much easier for me and my father along with the rest of the believers in the family to be at peace with my grandmother passing because we KNOW that if heaven is real she’s there. She was a big believer. I’m a judeo-Christian and I believe but I definitely have some doubts. I know my grandmother has some doubts because she would tell me she stayed awake until 3 or so in the morning scared to go to sleep. This went on for a long time.
But the way she passed is she fell early Sunday morning at 3:30 getting out of bed to “make the bed up” as she told my aunt Bonnie who she lived with because she couldn’t live by herself. She had many strokes. a major one and countless mini strokes. Well she fell and hit her head. She was conscious but they couldn’t get to her because she fell up against the door so they had to call the ambulance to get her up. Well the paramedics checked her out, didn’t see nothing out of wack. But she did complain about a headache (what my aunt Bonnie told me I wasn’t there) the paramedic and my aunt Bonnie put her back in bed. Then at about 6:30 or so my aunt Bonnie heard something fall (it was the water from the bedside table) she was half on the bed half off, out, unconscious. She then fell to the floor or something because my aunt Bonnie said she specifically remembered looking back in there while she was on the phone with 911 (my cousin zack was there also trying to sit her up) but she said she looked in there and granny was “wrag dolled” out on floor. Well the ambulance took her to the local hospital. Still no consciousness or anything from granny.. they then flew her to Greenville NC to the hospital there. They did a CAT scan and her brain was so full of blood, the fall shifter her brain over. I don’t know how she was up when she first hit the floor. Because of her age and her being in blood thinners and along with her weight and many other things along with the severity of the brain bleed it was nothing they could do unfortunately. We immediately took her off life support once all the family got there to let it be in Gods hands. I felt deep down that granny wouldn’t want to be on that machine the doctor told us that even if she did wake up she would never move her limbs. Her pupils weren’t responding or anything or that was a sign it was no hope. She ended up passing away between 5:00-6:00 am Wednesday October 18th
I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to force my beliefs upon you or your family, that is your choice. But I feel saddened by the passing of my grandmother but I’m also no glad or happy but content is what I’ll call it. I’m content with feeling deep down inside of me she is dancing and singing with a now beautiful angel voice (she wasn’t a beautiful singer but she tried and she liked too sing🤣❤️🩹) I am just too selfish to not feel saddened because I will *not* * be able to see her for a long time until it’s my time (hopefully no time soon I’m a young aspiring man)
Just to be 10000% transparent. When I was saying my goodbyes before I left Tuesday night I was telling her how it was okay and how we all will be okay. And all that. Then I said “I will see you again granny, but hopefully not too soon” 🤣🤣❤️🩹
This is exactly why I kept my mom at home and had hospice care. She died peacefully in her bed last Christmas with my sister and I holding her hands. Hospice nurses are the best❤️
sorry for your loss
I am a Respiratory Therapist. I remember the very first time we withdrew care on a pediatric patient. I remember walking into the room where my patient was surrounded by her whole family and having to remove the breathing tube and turn off the ventilator knowing she would die within minutes. It was the worst thing I had ever had to do and I did it with tears falling down my face. Later that night, my patients mother came to console ME. I asked for her forgiveness and explained it was my first time… and she hugged me and told me to never lose my compassion because it touched her to her heart that I cared so deeply for her child.
Thank you for what you do. ❤
We need people like you for these kinds of jobs thank you ❤
Thank you for doing what you do. A huge huge heart. We need you.
Jenna you’re an angel.❤
I held my mums hand after she unexpectedly went into cardiac arrest one morning, my heart was breaking but I stroked her hair, kissed her on the forehead and thanked her for raising me to be who I am. This was almost 13 years ago, I was 16 and surprisingly so level headed. She had myself and my brother while she passed until the paramedics came. I miss her every single day ❤
I'm sorry for your loss.
@@16tangerines thank you 😊 ❤️
If it is true keep that personal shit to yourself please ,makes you look like an attention whore 🥱😊
@@victoriabarendregt3790 so insensitive of you to say
You were 16? So,,,wouldn’t that mean your mom was really young? Sorry for your loss, I wish cpr was taught in schools :(
People like you gave my grandpa peace. Thank you for the work you do.
Recently lost my husband and am so glad he was on hospice at home. They controlled his pain. His nurse was fabulous.
My condolences. 🌸🌸
My dad never worked in hospice, but he is a nurse. He told me that when a patient is going to die, it's best to give them whatever medication they need to ease their suffering. Sometimes the medication goes above the survivable limit, but what matters is that they're not in pain.
Big misconception is the medicine kills them faster. I’m working with a hospice patient now who takes morphine for COPD it relaxes the lungs and thins secretions to let her breathe and she has family tell her not to take it to much. It’s insane
I work as a nursing assistant in a long-term care facility and I have to say that I am always so relieved whenever hospice decides to put one of my residents on morphine. It's sad because it means the end is near, but it's comforting knowing that the sweet old lady I've been watching suffer for over a year is finally allowed to start letting go.
Sometimes patients are given an overdose of medicine that 'accidentally' kills them?? What a confession!
@jessyvalentine7492 so long as they have a DNR or have given their (or their caretakers) concent for the medicine, it should absolutely be allowed. If it's given without the responsible party's concent, that's 100% murder.
@@jessyvalentine7492 that's because they care about the patient... not your egoistic need to see your family member awake till the end. I have several nurses friends and trust me, they care, they don't give medication just for fun but because they know.
Beautiful. I’m so glad there are nurses like you. When my moms mom was dying from cancer in 1982, home hospice was new. And they lived in a smaller town. Her husband was determined and finally found the one nurse who knew what he wanted. They made it possible for her to die at home surrounded with family.
So glad she married a keeper. ❤️
Men get all hung up on caveman protect and provide, deciding they're worthless if they can't kill a mammoth with their bare hands or buy three mammoths, already killed and dressed, but *that* is protecting and providing, right there.
Rest in pewce so sorru ope
Your moms mom??? Dude… I do not mean to be rude but this was really confusing to read bc I thought you said your mom, not your moms mom and it’s like, JUST SAY YOUR GRANDMOTHER !!!! Bc that’s what she was!!!!! If she was your moms mother, that makes her & her husband YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND JUST *SAY THAT* !! Don’t tip toe around saying moms mom and her husband when it was your grandparents… like seriously?!?! 😟✋🏻 .
@@Lori.jane08 **peace **sorry ***OP
like damn, stay in school kiddo ! You def need it 🌝 .
@@allisonlacy3004if you can’t infer that her mom’s mom is her grandmother, you may be the one who needs high school 😢
I was holding my moms hand when it happened but it wasn’t peaceful. My dad didn’t call the hospice nurse when she went unresponsive so she didn’t get morphine. It was the hardest experience I have ever had. I miss her so much. I would have loved to have you as the person caring for her near the end. Thank you for the very important work you do. You are appreciated.
That sounds dreadful… I mean , why didn’t your dad call the nurse?? So sorry
@@maggie4475 I’m not sure, I’ve never asked him
Oh how I relate. I'm sorry you had to experience that. My sister refused hospice because she was young and didn't accept she was dying. They were called in the final few hours and in her case with cancer she probably needed fentanyl. She didn't get what she needed and it was a traumatic death. As a caregiver I will never put myself in that position again. Hospice care is essential.
I commented something similar. Hospice nurses are angels but the actual process of death is ……? It will tear you apart.
I love being a hospice nurse. It is such a privilege to walk those last days, weeks or months with families. Our team provides medical, spiritual and psychological support. Doctors need to refer to hospice more often than they do.
My great grandma passed away just this morning. She went to the hospital just over a week ago and only 2 visitors were allowed in but they broke rules and allowed us all in and I got to see her one last time. Forever grateful for that nurse
i’m so sorry for your loss. i remember when the hospital did that for my family before my grandmother passed, it means a lot but you’re never really ready. i obviously didn’t know your great grandma, but im sure she was a wonderful woman and is in a better place now. i hope you’re doing okay :]
@@non-corporealentity67 She was 94 thankfully so while any age always feels too early, it’s nice to know she lived a damn good life as well as a long one. Truly a celebration of life with the mourning. She was an absolutely amazing woman. RIP to your grandma as well, and the condolences are much much appreciated
sending love to you. ❤ so sorry for your loss
@@non-corporealentity67❤sending love. so sorry for your loss.
Most hospitals have a policy that when someone is near death they allow more than the normal max, usually they have a set number like 4 people but they don't mind letting more people as long as it isn't so many it's a safety issue.
I lost my son in 2022, his last 1.5 weeks of his life he had the greatest hospice nurses, who were not only there for Matthew but for me too. I thank god for all his nurses. They ASK him any questions they had, they didn't ignore him they treated him with love and respect.
❤ sending love. i’m so so sorry for your loss.
My Condolences💔.
2021 you mean
May he REST IN PEACE
@@AbelVillanueva-j8mshe said 2022 so that means he died in 2022 HELLO ARE WE DUMB
Let’s be clear, at 98 yo the doctor should have addressed DNR/comfort care with the family. Such a difference between prolonging life and prolonging death
they probably addressed it but the family makes the selfish decision ....as if the mom is never going to die...
@@emmib1388 Every single day
It was probably addressed. Sometimes people WANT everything done.
And then there are the families who haven't had contact with a family member whose health has declined drastically due to chronic illness. The patient gets an acute illness, and the family hasn't been clued in by anyone and suddenly has to make a decision in the ER. Hospice care includes guidance and compassion.
The family doesn't always decide on DNR no matter how much they are educated. I had a 90 year old last week who was a full code and I prayed we didn't have to code her. It would have been traumatizing for everyone involved.
Your work is so noble. Not only are you helping patients but also people at home in ways you may have never imagined. Thank you for posting and keep doing all you're spreading peace and also, be peaceful yourself! ❤
Sometimes a painless death is a better option than a painful life ❤
I hope you don't tell that to people with depression
They said sometimes, like when nothing can be done. Depression is treatable.
@keroki932 💀💀💀 that's a totally different scenario but I'm taking that as a joke 😂
I mean like... the woman was full code. she didn't have a DNR. it would be against the law to not revive her.
@@keroki932 Why in the world would you even think of such a thing that she would eve tell someone that w/depression?? .. This is about ppl who are at the end of their life! .. Hospice vs hospitals!
The “my mom just passed” always makes me cry bc I absolutely adore my mom and the thought of one day having to say that sentence breaks my heart
I hope you two will always be this close
You are both so blessed to have each other, and to appreciate it. me and my mom were the same-I’ve missed her since losing her seven years ago .I hate seeing so many take their parents for granted -they’re so lucky and don’t even know it -but you do -that’s very wise and I wish you both lots of happiness ahead. ❤
I feel this way too. 😢
I remember thinking the exact same thing and it bringing me to sobbing cries. Then it happened and I'm still in shock almost 3 years later. I'll never be okay with losing my mother. Cherish her as much as you can while you can. 😢❤
This is exactly how I feel, I hate to think about it
My great grandmother was almost 97 when she died, she lived a full life. The last time I saw her when she was on hospice, she told us about the music played at her wedding, asked us to play it for her. She also mentioned her favorite flower, daffodils. She asked us to read her her favorite poem which mentions daffodils.
They were daffodils at her funeral next to her urn. The park in my hometown had daffodils that are in bloom by April and every time I see them, I think of her. She wasn’t conscious when she passed but her last moments were peaceful.
She died of old age on March 16, 2021, two months before she turned 97. I think my family she hold a celebration for her on what would’ve been her 100th. Love you Grandma Elaine❤️🩹 and I hope you’re happy with Grandpa Romer in a garden with daffodils 🌼.
❤
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your great grandma with us ❤
What a touching story. For my grandmother it was red roses… It’s a nice little reminder of them, isn’t it? Wishing you and your family all the best! 🌹
My uncle also died that year, december 12.
This is beautiful 🥹❤️ thanks for sharing
I lost my Mum months ago & the nurses were SO good! They let me hold my beautiful Mum in my arms whilst they administered her first dose of palliative care…..she never woke up from that, but it was so comforting to see Mum finally not in pain anymore.
You people do incredibly humane work, thank you!
This is the exact scenario in the ICU i worked so hard to gently talk to the family why hospice and making their loved one a DNR was so important. No one wants to die like that. Always tried to explain that we were not prolonging her life, but prolonging her death while she was suffering needlessly. Most of the time, they thanked me and made their loved one s DNR.
This is something that took ages to get through my brothers head. He wanted mom full code and I tried explaining the realities of CPR and the aftermath. It took me caretakers and nurses to finally convince him DNR was appropriate.
What is hard is when the children understand, but grandma insists that she wants to be a full code and refuses to discuss the idea of DNR
I never would. I’m against DNR’s because I consider it to be morally wrong. My psychiatrist says a DNR is basically assisted suicide. I don’t care if I’m in pain, I would want to do everything possible to keep me alive. Them refusing pain meds though is just plain wrong. Only God should decide who lives or dies not doctors or patients.
@@tanya5322 it is entirely her right to do so! If she wants every ounce spent prolonging her life, she gets that.
It’s hard on the other ppl but we don’t badger someone into making our life easier by cutting their life off.
I am DNR but I would never convince someone who did not want to be.
@@YeshuaKingMessiahAgreed! If the person is of sound mind they should absolutely be able to decide whether they want all the measures taken or none. If they aren't of sound mind I think that's another story and the spouse/next of kin needs to advocate for them and help decide what is best.
Hospice nurses are angels...❤
Special People...indeed.❤
Thanks. I love being there to help them have things go exactly as they told me how they wanted things to go....it is so comforting to know they get to say what they want. And I'm very proud to make sure of it!!!!!!
😂 that would be lovely to have it in writing to show my husband occasionally 😜
I agree! I could never express how grateful I am for their help with my dad. They took care of everything, from equipment to medication to emotional support when he passed. They are amazing. I could never do that kind of work. Thank you, hospice nurses, for being there for families at the worst time of their lives.
No, they are not
I don't want to sound weird but i needed this today. Lost my mom 12 years ago and we had both scenarios and it brought a tear to my eye
I to had this with my father, he was 65. He was begging for medicine. The doctors said no for almost two months. He was able to have the hospitality of hospice for 14 days. They were able to relax and take away the pain. The nurses were amazing not only for him but for me and my family. I am so sorry for your loss.
Not trying to be weird but what do you mean both scenarios?
@@cheyennev8881maybe one parent hospital other hospice
@@cheyennev8881or the mother had both the hospital experience and the at home hospice experience...that happened with my dad he was brought back twice at the hospital and then came home on hospice and passed...for the third and final time
Much love to you
I'm so thankful for Hospice nurses! They are true angels on earth. When my beloved mother-in-law passed away, she passed so peacefully with me, my husband, and our daughter holding her hands. The hospice nurse prepared us for everything that would happen. We were not surprised, and most importantly we got to love on mom until her last breath.
That’s exactly how my 90 year old mom passed, in her house in her bed with my sister and I each holding her hands. Hospice was an absolute blessing for us.
Retired Nurse here. One of the most heart breaking decisions that families made about going full code on medically frail patients, especially the elderly. I have seen families put them on vents, dialysis, etc, when they had terminal conditions.
And I have seen decisions like "dialysis " not done because of lack of education. I talked to the 75 year old woman and she "wanted to live". She decided to go on dialysis and went on to live another 10 years even leaving the nursing home and going home to live independently in a senior living center. All because of misinformation. She was so sick because she needed dialysis.
@@chary361 how long were you a nurse?
When my 90yo grandma had a stroke, my mother (her daughter) had everthing ready: patient's provision, AHCD, etc
My grandma had detoriated into dementia. She was deaf. The stroke left her unable to communicate, she could only move her left arm, but not the hand...
It was clearly stated that she didn't want feeding tubes, ventilators and so on...When we came back to the hospital the next day they had inserted a feeding tube. My mother insisted on taking it out and had to listen for nearly an hour to a M.D. how she would kill her mother and that she wouldn't care for her mothers well being before they took it out.
The hospital dismissed my grandmother the next day because "they weren't allowed to treat her"
Luckily my grandma had already a mobile nursing service and after my mothers desperate call, they calmed her down. Setting my grandma up to full time care and telling my mother where she could get a special bed for rent.
My grandma died ten days later, peacefully at home, while her son was reading a story to her, she wrote herself...🥲
I agree. I've seen it happen to people I heard say they did not want anything done. But they are still doing cpr and even going beyond..... trying to put a pacemaker in them. That crushed me. I cried. They moved her fast to the bed. Her wig flew off and they began CPR. I'm telling them she told me she didn't want anything done. But they just did not listen to me. And I was young. It killed me to see that happen. So that is one of the first things I always ask and make sure the paperwork is done stating what their wishes are!!!!!!!...
@@Goaway624 That's so sad!
In case of my grandma they had all these things. My mother saw with her own eyes when they put it into my grandmas case in the ER.
When my mother saw the feeding tube, she asked about the papers and they said they didn't have any. But when my mom insisted on it they opened the case of my grandma and voilà there the papers are, right on the first side! 🤬
It takes a VERY special person to work in hospice. 😢❤️❤️❤️
Special, or hardened?
@MaryRosebud
Special.
My girl is a hospice nurse.
Every patient that passes takes its toll, but she realizes that she is able to help make their funal moments as fulfilling as possible.
Often she will make special food for them, or try to fulfill a final request.
She also realizes that she's there for the family.
They need someone to help guide them through the process of losing a loved one.
A good hospice nurse is special, and is truly a blessing for the patient and their family.
All of my interactions with hospice workers have been positive. All I can think is they must all have strong faith that they are just guiding the person back out of this life and into Eternity after their brief stay here. ❤️
I work with hospice patients and it is a privilege to care for someone in their last days. We just want our patients to leave this world with the same tender love and care that we received coming into the world
many are called few are chosen if you havent Human-handling Talent$-train service dogs
We were so, so happy that our grandma could pass peacefully at home. All thanks to her impeccable GP doing home visits and a hospice team.
The worst day of my life was the day we put my mom in hospice. It was heartbreaking and felt like we were giving up. I could see that she was both sad and scared. The day she died I was so grateful for hospice. She felt no pain and was able to die at home with everyone she loved around her. I’m an ER nurse and that experience taught me to be so much kinder to patient’s family during a code. I 100% advocate for the family to be in the room if that’s what they want. I don’t want anyone to die without someone they love there. I want all loved ones to have closure that everything that could be done was done.
im so sorry for your loss :((
I used to feel differently. My first code/trauma was an 18yo new father that was in an accident. They allowed the parents in the room. I switched from chest compressions to airway and noticed we weren't suctioning blood anymore, but pink saline. He had bled out internally. When the dr called it the mother's screams were heard thru the ER. I always thought it was cruel for family to witness it. When my GPA passed, I was the only one who wanted to stay in the room. I thought I was helping by saying it was cruel bc of my experiences.
Thank you for taking the time to share this with all of us.
@phoenixfire2578 yes and no, sometimes it's the only thing that will solidify the truth of the words coming from your mouth that the person they love is dead and gone. Those ones suck so much though, even rapid infusion does nothing at that point of bleeding out 😕
I'm an ED nurse too. Nothing teaches us compassion like the real life situations we have. I've had 4 PICC lines, meningitis twice, sepsis twice, almost died after my second birth, and I've had cyclical vomiting since birth. I understand and it makes me so much more compassionate
I’m a firefighter, and it’s pretty brutal what happens in the field with a CPR. It’s a lot of people doing literally everything to keep the patient alive, and even with all our resources we’re largely unsuccessful in obtaining ROSC. Whenever the family has a DNR ready for a geriatric family member it is such a relief for us since we don’t have to subject everyone to the trauma of a code.
There was a suction cup combined to Palm holder so the helper was able to press the check by it and lift it up and the lungs filled up. A very genius.
One research said it requires 100 continuous presses to increase the blood pressure effective so don't stop in the beginning. Just press and press😉 and press a minute at least continuously. The oxygen already in the body gotta move.
If people knew how traumatic resuscitation is they might be more willing to sign those DNRs. I know I don't want my last moments feeling someone break my ribs, shove a tube down my throat and poke me endlessly with needles. Feeling pain, lots of pain and fear. Just let me pass in peace and not alone. BTW thank you for what you do.
@@hollybug-76542 it depends. I guess one can specify no CPR by heart manipulation. But it is VERY traumatic to just stand by and watch somebody to choke to death because the nurses refuse to suck the ice cream from their throats when the patient is not able to sow anymore. Not nice to follow dying, nit nice. So I would NEVER want to choke to death. You die that way if you wish,I will NOT!
Are you a firefighter?
@@GinEric84 I was a volunteer in one Search And Rescue with firefighter capabilities so kinda yes I guess. I have been witnessing some deaths by choking and it's not nice to stand by 15 minutes watching one to fight for their lives eyes literally bulging from the heads! It is traumatic even for those, who see it let alone for those, who were in such situation experiencing it first hand surviving it!
Often people adapt and get used to their weakening circumstances and no longer want to die even though they thought they would never want to live in such and such state while still being healthy. Which is why such agreement can shorten life unnecessarily. Also some people have felt the need to experience the NDE in order to have their matters arranged in order to die in peace. It's very gruesome to follow somebody begging for help while dying. So it's not all black out and good bye. There are so much stuff in between, that it is hard to make such forever agreement without knowing all the aspects. Besides most hospitals seem to pressure the close ones to agree with such a thing for the patient without even asking from the patient just to speed up the rotation of the beds in palliative care. The body hardly gets even cold before it is moved away to the cold storage and the room emptied for the next patient.
Then there is often no time for grief work after the patient past's away in the name of effectiveness in this society.
English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes.
Home care nurses are a GODSEND, we became so close with our dads nurses that they came to his service. They were like part of our family by the end. The appreciation we have for those working end of life care is beyond measure, it is not an easy job by any means.
my mom started (I think) in ER but from there she did the babies and deliveries, then side teaching for nursing classes. she moved to head nurse (coordinator) for a psych ward, and now she has done hospice for 3 years and loves it. It's sad hearing that a patient has passed but the families always say she helped make the whole ending that much easier and more peaceful.
I had read an article in college about how most doctors refuse hospital care themselves because they know the system.
Mad respect for the care you provide and all you do Hadley!! ❤
Thats super cool! I had no idea! And thank you!
@@NurseHadley I feel like that's similar to childcare. Both my husband and I have worked in childcare and neither of us want to send our kids for more than 1 day a week if we can possibly help it and not until they're verbal. I've met a lot of other childcare workers who feel the same
@@Asharra12 And if you need childcare before they're verbal, as a nanny, I ask parents to please install cameras covering every room and outside areas, and that those cameras are sound recording. If anything like an accidental injury to the child or nanny occurs, that evidence will help immensely. I also ask them to make sure they can see and hear us from their phones and tell them to please feel free to drop by or contact me at any time. Most parents are surprised that I'm not comfortable without a nanny cam of some kind.
@NurseHadley this is somewhat true
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4882251/
That’s my grandpa being retired from internal medicine for almost 20 years and refusing to get a stent with angioplasty because he did not trust such “new” operation and did not like to adjust his current medications. It took the whole family to convince him that it is a really mature operation, and should put some more trust in the system cuz things were not the same as 20 years ago.😅
Retired and could never work in hospital or doctors office again. Was getting so frustrated because everything we learned in school didn't apply. We are no longer allowed to spend time with our patients. Didn't get a raise because I spent too much time with patients. Always have a family member stay with you in hospital. Don't be intimidated to ask questions. Would love to have this nurse in my final days. ❤
Thank you for this. This is so important to post.
In all honesty, I understand that doctors and nurses have other patients to take care of, but I wish they were allowed to take their time with their patients and actually be thorough and check everything they're supposed to, like they used to
I'm an ICU nurse. It breaks my heart when we do "all the things" and the patient doesn't pass peacefully or is left alive with a poor quality of life. Please don't think that everyone in the hospital is looking to keep people alive like that. We have to follow the family's wishes.
What if someone doesn’t want a DNR? I’m against them because I consider a DNR to be a death sentence. It’s basically assisted suicide according to my psychiatrist. Nobody should have the right to terminate their own life. That’s morally wrong. I wouldn’t want somebody to terminate my life. If someone signed a DNR without my consent I swear I would become a ghost and haunt them to their grave for terminating me 😂 I understand about CPR and all that but in my opinion, hospitals should give medication for the pain. That bullshit about meds slowing breathing is nonsense and an excuse for someone to suffer. I don’t care if I’m a vegetable I would want to be kept alive.
If the pt has a written DNR. They have to do as she has it written!!!
The problem is too many people don’t want to think about a living will until it’s too late. So most of the time it’s left to the family members. A lot of people don’t want to feel like they are giving up on their family members and will not understand the realities of what prolonging life would mean for someone who is not capable of healing. There is no easy answer for these situations and it often takes time for everyone involved to make peace with a decision unless the patient passes suddenly. I can’t express enough the importance for everyone to fill out a living Will if you can, while you can.
@@erinw6813 I agree my late partner dead suddenly and I wish he had a living will so I could have at least followed his wishes
I work in peds/onc and these parents always "do all the things " instead of accepting the reality. There comes a time to just accept and ameliorate.
My pop had palliative care checking up on him in his last few days and he had a several medications ones to calm nerves, settle his mind, manage the pain and a couple more. Because of this he was able to have all of his living relatives apart from two grandsons all sitting around him
My mom went in. Lungs looked white on x ray. After an hour, it was my birthday and my mom was fighting for her life, breathing tube down her throat. Early 50s. The nurse let me stay in her quarantine zone because I was with her when the ambulance came. Doctor walks in while I'm holding onto my mommys hand, crying and begging for her to fight. In plain cold words. Almost annoyed, she said, "your mother is probably going to die tonight. I'd start making plans." Then tried to pull me away when I just wanted to kiss my mothers head. Security dragged me out screaming because I grabbed her coat and all but lifted her off the ground. After 2 weeks of medically induced coma, I got a call from the hospital. And a crackling horse voice on the other side said, "home" my mama lived. The nurses were the ones who saved her. The doctors gave up. I will always hold Nurses higher than doctors.
I’m so glad she lived
I major in nursing and this made my day. It gives me encouragement and determination to become a nurse like that, so thank you ☺️
Rest in peace so sorru ops
Why are y'all not reading the whole thing, her mother survived. People nowadays literally have an attention span of the size of a peanut.
Was it covid? I'm happy she survived for you and herself ❤ very strong woman to have made it through.
I work in a memory care unit of a retirement community and the hospice nurses are ANGELS. They do so much and are absolutely fabulous 💖
If you work in a memory care unit YOU are fabulous. We are thankful for what you do !
well I only do hair but I try and help them as much as I legally can. but thank you :) I love memory care @@emmib1388
Thank you for what you do. My dad passed in a memory care unit during one of the COVID lock downs. His nurses all came to my family to say how sorry they were for our loss. They were angels 😇❤. We hated having to make the difficult decision to put him there for his last few months, but realized we couldn't keep him safe and comfortable anymore at home. They made us feel so much better about it.
My grandpa passed while in hospice and although the whole house was screaming, I was only crying of pain. I knew he had left peacefully once he took his last breath. He finally got to see his parents again. This, this is what I want to do when I'm older.
It sounds as if you have a lot of love and compassion. If this is where life leads you you would be suited to do it. 🌸 I am sure he is with all his family🌸
My Mom just passed peacefully at home after reaching the age of 100 & being very healthy until just before the end. My adult son & I were with her taking care of her. I have been a RN for over 40 years but even if I had not I would have known this was the right thing to do for my wonderful Mom❣️
Wow, what a great example between keeping patients alive and allowing them to pass on with dignity ❤❤❤
Doing CPR and watching patients die even after your best efforts is really hard. I remember crying by myself when I got off work the first time it happened. I've gotten better at keeping it in, but it still breaks me to see a person who was just alive slip away right in front of my eyes.
Thank you for your work. I can’t imagine how hard it gets. You are very brave🫂
I teach CPR and one of the first things I tell my students is that the patient probably not going to survive CPR and you did not do anything wrong!
@@RoamingwithRover OOH only 1 in 10 achieve ROSC, according to the AHA. In my experience, that's accurate. I've only seen one ROSC and plenty of TOD being called. Never bothers me when they don't make it, but I do feel empathy for the family that are present.
I’m with you
I’ve taken care of 6 family and friends when they’re getting ready to pass. I have worked extremely close with hospice in 4 of those cases and they are all angels on earth!!! Please try to keep your loved ones home! It’s so much better for them especially when they suffer from dementia!! Hospice will come along side you and they help so much!! They’ll help with bathing, shopping, cleaning, and home care!! Please check into what kind of help hospice can offer before making the decision to put loved ones in a care home!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
My mom was in a hospice hospital when she passed. I was holding her hand when she went. I am forever grateful to have the memories of that time I do.
Ive got a short story to tell. I was an RN for many years and I worked in Palliative care for the last few years as well as in Aged Care before I retired. But I spent a little over 2 years working in an Emergency department but it wasn't where my heart was. I ALWAYS took good care of my patients especially the elderly and frail and I made sure that they had a cup of tea and a sandwich after the Doctor had cleared them but a lot of these people didn't have family with them or they had missed a couple of meals by waiting to be seen by medical staff and were, by this time, very hungry. I was told by another nurse that "Working in an ED isn't for you Michelle. You CARE too much". I thought how sad it was that "caring" was something that you could DO too much of". Anyway I really love this channel and I appreciate your efforts towards your patients BECAUSE you care! Thanks for reading.
As a non-medical professional, just plain old person who has taken a few family members to the ER when they were in pain or with my ex-husband, several visits due to a mental health crisis I gotta say I relate to ur story a lot bc I always noticed how ER staff seemed kind of unsympathetic, in general, and it always struck me as counter-intuitive. I'd wonder to myself, why are they in a field thats about taking care of ppl in need if they don't seem particularly concerned w how the person FEELS. It dawned on me that physical needs and emotional needs are quite different and it takes a special type of nurse/ medical professional to take care of their patients emotional needs as much as the physical needs. Seems like YOU are that special type :)
You sound like a great nurse… needed in every setting 💜
If that truly happened then that nurse was an idiot and not a good representation. Hopefully you stood up to her and stuck to your guns and did what you knew was right because that's what good nurses do and in turn it weeds out the bad ones. I spent over 10 years with my 26-year career as an ER nurse and I cared every day and went above and beyond anytime I could because that's what nurses are supposed to do and I never let some idiot nurse that didn't belong in the field dictate what type of care I gave. We all know that there are horrible nurses out there just like they're a horrible people in every field. It takes the good ones to make a difference and to get rid of the ones who don't belong there by showing them that that type of mentality won't be tolerated. I'm sure you were a fabulous nurse
It's not just caring too much. Sometimes it's just our nature to engage with people and in the ER often you need to stay somewhat detached so that you can function more efficiently. And the pace is often hard-and-fast. I'm an RN and it's not for me either. Thank God there are many kinds of nursing so we can find our own niche.
michellesartori6695,
Thank you for reminding me that there's always time to care and make a sandwich for someone.
It is difficult to work in healthcare when the goal is efficiency and rescue, rather than acceptance of the reality that 98 year old people are not well served by the brutality of CPR.
This is going to be an explosive topic with my siblings regarding our 98 year old mom: mom's DPOA is not accepting that mom's days are numbered.
The flip side is the unrealistic expectation that I, the retire-nurse-daughter ALWAYS sit in the ambulance with mom instead of drive my car and follow, so I'm not stranded at the hospital without a car.
This is exactly why hospice and palliative care and DNR orders are so important. It’s good to have choices and offer agency and dignity at EOL
Retired Hospice nurse here. You are so right
One of my wifes hospice nurses still keeps up with me. Its been 9 months. Means a lot.
The idea of telling a nursing student "you can practice" on someone actively dying makes me so sick. As a nurse myself, I totally understand why it happens, but it just feels so wrong to get practice on an actual dying human.
Hands on experience has to occur somehow.
I get your point but that is what our work and training is all about... We have to start practicing things on the patients since the very beginning.. otherwise we wont be able to learn..
@@pdub707And without practice like that you would be dead right now because no one would be able to learn. Learn humility. Arrogant fool
Don't think any nurse would use those exact words ... not in my 45 yrs of experience 😳
@@pdub707How else do they get real experience? I'm pretty damn sure that practice dummies are a lot different than a person when it comes to practice.
It's so heartwarming to see a hospice nurse who truly cares about her patients 💕
Working for Hospice was the most fulfilling experience…Being able to connect with the patients and families who were facing such difficult circumstances and offer support and comfort. I am still in contact with some of the families of the loved ones who passed❤️
I remember when my stepdad mom and uncle were on hospice I loved there nurses so much they were treated amazingly by them I lost them in September 2010 for my stepdad lung cancer my mom pancreatic and liver cancer on February 2014 and my uncle October 2017 from lung cancer it broke my heart and still does still this very day I miss all 3 of them
This brought back the memories of when my grandparents passed. They were in hospice and passed peacefully in their home. I remember when my grandpa was in his hospital bed my grandma walked over and whispered to him that it was ok for him to go and that she would be okay. That exact night he passed away
thats so mf cute i legit sobbed to this 😢😭😭
@@k_intra I do too every time I think about it 😭😭
I lost my mom 3 days ago because of cancer. Me and my grandmother (my mom's mother) were mentally dreaded. My mom suffered a lot because of cancer for 3 years. She had done 28 chemotherapes and 3 surgeries. Her last surgery was when we lost her. She died 2 days after her surgery. The surgeon told us was that she wouldn't last much because the cancer was literally spreaded everywherein her body. He told us not to tell her anything. Of course we didn't. She was conscious after the surgery and could barely talk because of the pain, the next day she couldnt talk anymore, she would nod her head slightly. A couple hours later she was still barely alive. That was when the nurses installed a heart monitor to see when her heart would stop. At about 7:30 in the morning, I was in the bathroom and my grandma called me to come quickly to say goodbye to my mom. She couldn't say or move at all, she was hardly breathing and when she stopped, I bursted into tears realising she had died. I watched through my years of how the lines on the monitor straightened and my heart broke. I remember after that the last sence to leave tha body is hearing, so I started shouting not to leave me and that I love her. I'm glad that she got to hear that and I was shocked to see tears run down her face after she died. She heard me and this still makes me tear up. Thankfully, me and granny had a lot of people to support us both mentally and financially like friends of mine, neighbors and my mom's friends. The news were devastating because everyone loved her. She was a young, intelligent, beautiful and most importantly, incredibly kind human being. She was everyone's friend and she would ALWAYS help people in need and she would never leave anyone behind. It was tragic of how much she suffered, while she was also divorcing my father who I don't really want to say the terrible things he's done to me and her. At least now she's not in pain anymore and I know that she will always be with me, and love me and pray for me and my grandma. God bless her beautiful soul❤
So glad you got to be with her , sorry for your loss ❤
Checking in to say i hope youre ok ❤ i see you and im sorry for the pain youve endured. My best wishes to healthy healing ❤
May God give you the strength to cope through this loss. This made me tear up and I’m sending you a virtual hug. Take care. Your mother is looking over you and will always be there. As a mother, I know the bond between a mother and a child.
Love to you ❤
Thank you for sharing your story with us
I do not look forward to that day.
Your mom sounded like a beautiful person just like my mother
And obviously raised a great human , I truly do believe that she's with you in spirit.
Hugs ❤
You're actually kind. Think you may be the only nurse I would ever trust.
Thank you for existing
I’m glad my grandma got to pass away with her bestie by her side. ❤
100000000% My mom and mother in law were on hopsice & died in their own homes. My grandma and father in law died in memory care hospice. So much more peaceful. Still absolutely heart shattering but you guys make all the difference. Thank you!!!!!! I cried watching this. Bless you!
I LOVED WORKING IN THE HOSPITAL ! IF I WERE PHYSICALLY ABLE ID STILL BE THERE. RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE HALLS. MY BODY WONT LET ME DO IT ANYMORE BUT MY HEART IS STILL THERE. ❤ a retired registered nurse 😊
Same here!
This is why advanced directives including DNRs are so very important!! And not just for seniors but for everyone regardless of age.
I’ve been a nurse for 39 years. Many of those were as a home health nurse. I have so much respect for Hospice nurses. It’s not a field just anyone can work in. I’ve never met a hospice nurse who didn’t seem loving and kind to not only the patient, but the family as well. Thank you for the work you do. I know you may have many emotionally exhausting days, and push yourself because your patients and their family members need your support. Again, thank you. ❤
Thank you for caring. With all my heart, thank you for caring. God bless you and any medical person who actually cares.
A few weeks ago my grandma had an eye appointment and promised to call my mom when it was done, but she never did, at the end of the day my parents drove over to her house and the lights were out there was a letter from her taxi saying she didn’t answer the door. my parents found her unconscious, and called an ambulance. eventually we found out she had lots little bleeds all over her brain and got in natural coma. none off the nurses or doctors had ever seen something like it, so they didn’t know what to do we visited her many times and her eyes would slightly open every time we talked to her. my aunt from England went to see her to say goodbye and flew back. my mom begged the nurses to just end her suffering and put her down peacefully, but they said it’s illegal. finally we were able to get her to a hospice and I was kinda shocked, my grandma laid in a hospital bed with normal colored blankets, in something that looked like a cozy bedroom. there was music playing and one off those things that sprayed nice scented oils in the room. she always had comfy clothes on and there were no machines beeping anymore. even tho the chance my grandma noticed any off it was little, they still put so much effort into it and I’m forever thankful for them letting her go peacefully. even after she passed they called my mom after the funeral to check up on her and made sure she wasn’t in too deep grief.
Your story has me in absolute tears. That sounds so lovely.
I’m very glad she spent the end of her life in dignified comfort and was treated well. People who wake up after a coma often talk of times of awareness of their surroundings, so I think there is a very real chance that she was grateful for the peaceful, kind setting. Thank you for sharing
Hospice was such a special place for me too! I worked in nursing homes and even assisted living. I done time in the hospital but not long. There is something special being the one who cares for them and calms them in that time. Being with the family and helping them let go and be ok. . Hospice workers are truly angels in disguise!
Yes, as a 24-year veteran registered nurse, I completely understand and agree that there is a much better, more peaceful way to leave this earth. 💔🙏🏽🌷
Doctors like you are some of the deepestly conpassionate people in the world. Thank you
She's an RN actually ❤
I’m ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of getting old and not being able to speak for myself. I pray I get a nurse like you!❤😢
Go to your Dr and discuss being a no code if the Dr feels it's time to let you go. You call the plan .....get it in writing make sure you have a copy for each Dr and child you have. Tell them that's what you want .....best to do it now. Before you get things you don't want!!!
Hospice work is so important! Don't let your fear of death keep you from making the right choices for your loved ones!
My brother got cancer and went into hospice care less than a year after. The hospice nurse was a part of everything we did and even held our hands when he died. She was the best. He died a week or two after he arrived there, but he was basically dead to the world before we even moved him to hospice. I'm glad there are people like you out there ❤ edit; he was only 26. I was 16
May he rest in peace 🕊️
I work in a place that sells medical equipment. I get hundreds of people come in who tell me their stories of hospice nurses and the love and joy they spread to their patients. Even after something so tragic. These nurses are there to bring a smile to their face and it's absolutely beautiful
My husband came home for hospice last week. His first night home i had to call the 24 hour number and the nurse was talking me through something when he stopped breathing and I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. I may have been alone in the room with him, but I wasnt alone. Thank you for everything you do for your patients, and their families.
🤍
Because of people like you, my grandfather was able to pass peacefully and without pain. In his own home, with his wife, sister, his child and his grandchildren. Thank you so much for the work you do
You were meant to be a Hospice nurse. Your heart and spirit are so beautiful, caring, loving, pure. So thankful for you!❤
I start my hospice career next week & im beyond excited. I'm very grateful for the opportunity. I really do think I was put on the earth do be a hospice aide.
I've watched this around twenty times, and it's just so heartwarming 😢 I hate it when someone special passes away. Even though it was peacefully, it still breaks my heart
Right because when you truly love someone you truly love them even if you're PREPARED 😢 ..... I feel you
My granddad died Aug 31st of this year, at home, on hospice, with my mother and I right there with him. You are the reason that I knew I could tell my mom to have him brought home on hospice and not have to stay in the hospital. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. For giving me that last night i had with him where i could stay up and hold his hand and talk to him, and my mom the ability to hold his hand when he took his last breath.
Thank you. With all my heart. Thank you.
My grandpas on hospice and i cant tell you how much i appreciate yall ❤
Edit: my grandpa has saldy passed but he passed peacefully on sleeping meds 💗💗 provided by hospice, love yall keep going❤ (april 16th 2024 🕊)
I have so much respect for workers helping those on their last breaths, i lost my aunt due to MS she was basically like the parent i didn't have when my dad wasnt around and i never got to say goodbye but knowing she was in hospice and passed peacefully and holding her moms hand makes me so happy
I am a mom, she was your mom…I know she was thinking of you with love and probably worry. Take care of yourself for her. ❤
@danis4054 that means so much to me, thank you, and i will ❤️
@@Parker_wasneo 🥰
i really appreciate your videos. i have death ocd and spend a very large portion of my day obsessing over thoughts of the deaths of myself and my loved ones. it's still not something i feel at peace with but your videos have greatly helped me to start accepting it as a part of life
My great grandpa was on hospice and his lady wouldn’t let any of the family in while he died😢 I wish she would’ve been more like you 😢
my grandma was in and out of hospice for most of my life (i was 8 when she passed) and she hated it (she’d rather have been out shopping and having fun with friends than have someone tell her she couldn’t go anywhere bcs of her poor health), but my dad found it rly comforting to be able to be with her when she went. the work u do is so amazing ❤
I once had to do CPR on a 98 year old man. His wife wasn't ready to let him go,they had no children. It was so painful for both of us as I broke his ribs. He lived another 8mos. So sad.
Do you think the additional eight months were worth it to him, or was he in a lot of pain for that time?
@@cynthiaholland13I’d say eight more months of time to be cherished with his one and only family member, and to provide joy and comfort and compassion to his partner was worth it.
@@doubleeta56 if you aren't familiar with this particular situation, you have absolutely no way of knowing that. It's most likely he never even regained consciousness. Think of this situation.
My abuela was in hospice for almost a year and a half, the doctors originally gave her at maximum 6 weeks and put her on hospice. The nurses were wonderful people and one even became like family to us. My abuela passed in peace thanks to hospice 💕
If it weren’t for my crippling mental illness I’d do this job. It’s such a beautiful thing to be able to help those standing on the bridge about to walk across. You’re amazing for what u do.
My grandmother was in hospice care for 3 weeks before she passed & I'm glad she was. I got to spend sm time with her in the comfort of her home. We held hands, i talked to her about anything & everything 💜 i got some of her clothes today & they smelled like her even after 2 years... i immediately cried. I'm so glad i got to say goodbye to her. She died knowing i loved her & i can live the rest of my life knowing she loved me. I hope i make her proud, i wanna live my life to the fullest so when i finally see her again one day, ill have one hell of a story to tell her 💜💜 so thank you for what you do, it means the world to a lot of people 💜
Hospice is a gift in that final chapter of life. Thank you for all you do.
You are a beautiful person and you are exactly where you should be.
I wish we had more people like you in the world.
Thank you for your kindness ❤
From one soft heart to another
That’s so sweet my aunt just died last week and the hospice nurse was there so fast and my mom wasn’t taking it well and the nurse stayed and helped us prepare cause none of us could get anything straight so thank you for what you do
I cared for my grandma for two weeks straight when she was ready to go.
I couldn't do what hospice nurses do for a living. God bless this woman and anyone who is a hospice nurse. We love what you do😭♥️♥️♥️♥️
My grams was on hospice shortly following a fall where she broke her hip (she also was suffering from dementia, but thankfully never forgot me) she passed gently and peacefully with no pain, surrounded by all of her children, two of her grandchildren, and one of her great grandkids (my oldest) .. I could definitely feel my grandpas spirit waiting for her too 💛🧡 it was the best thing I could have hoped for her at the end. Thank you for what you do. It means the world.
The last words i remember my grandma saying before my family saw her at the hospital, as she was dying of cancer, was please dont let me die here, i want to be home. She passed in the hospital just a few days later and it still breaks my heart to think about nearly 10 years later. She deserved that if anything, to be home where she felt comfort. Thank you for being so strong and helping those in need. Every time i watch one of your videos i get reminded of my grandma and how much she meant to me. She was such a nice woman and really was the backbone of our family, she really made family feel like family, and i think your videos show love in its purest form. Thank you and hope youre doing well yourself ❤
My Mom is 84 and is getting fairly fragile.
There are 7 living siblings, but I'm the only one who has been willing to talk to Mom about her final wishes because it makes them both sad and uncomfortable.
So I spent several days with Mom going over her wishes and even called a neighbor over who is a notary to notarize it.
Mom was afraid my brothers would rather she stayed in the hospital where the "right" people would be there to take care of her.
I've talked to them both since Mom and I spoke and all of her concerns about what they would say came true.
By that time, Mom and I had spent some time speaking with hospice centers and finding out how hospice works.
Mom would much rather stay at home and I'm going to make sure that happens.
Luckily, several of my sisters understand what Mom wants and have spoken with her now.
The wished if the dying person should always be fulfilled if it's possible.
Thank you for sharing your story.
@@alicecain4851 your mom is very lucky to have you ❤️ thank you for sharing as well
Thank you for this. So many people need to know that hospitals at times can be unintentionally cruel. Thank you for spreading awareness how dying at home can be the right choice for some.
Thanks for spreading the word. I sure hope people take it to heart and establish directives for their end of life care and that of their loved ones.
I had a great moment with a family. The daughter was telling me how her and her mom always watched the Kentucky derby together every year, and have been several times. Her mom was close to passing and she wished they could watch it one more time. I told her to pull up the video of last years derby and watch as if it’s this years, her mom was confused and wouldn’t remember last years derby. She did and they had a great day! The mom passed the next day. It was wonderful.
Hospice is all about dignity. Thanks to all who volunteer or work with Hospice.
You know, I started binging your videos as I am coming with mortality and you are otherworldly amazing. Thank you for all that you do.
I love watching your videos. They are so accurate. I've been a nurse for 30 years and all of it has been in long term care. I've been told by so many hospice nurses that I should be a hospice nurse because of how well I deal with patients and their families during the death and dying process. My favorite part of my job is listening to their life stories and reminding them that they are still vital and useful to society.
This made me cry. So beautiful that you can offer peace in a tragic time.
I’ve cared for three immediate family members on hospice in the last few years and I am so grateful for the support hospice provides. I’ve had good experiences with hospice.
I only have wonderful things to say about home hospice. My husband of almost 56 years passed this spring and they were amazing and so helpful to all of us. Thank you to all Hospice employees.
Sometimes we have to be shown that what WE thought would be our best vocation/position ISN'T the best for US...to find the REAL VOCATION we are meant to do. So glad your journey brought you to such a perfect and powerful place! ❤