Rachel...Years ago I lost a brother to suicide...it was awful...for my father, his children, and the siblings....you're left wondering what you could have done that would have prevented it...depression is a terrible thing...living in a bell jar where you can look out and see the world but the love and warmth can't penetrate in....know this Rachel, you are loved and cared about...don't let your thoughts trick you into believing anything different...and the world would never be better off without your sweet spirit....I care about you....I hurt for you.....and you are important to me.....depression will pass...just continue to hang in there and wait for that wonderful day...that will come....when the dark clouds lift.....
Lois, my sweet (like a Mom) lady in Maine! You brought tears to my eyes and I'm so glad to have you here. I very much appreciate you! I am so sorry to hear of your brother. Suicide doesn't make sense, even to me. I suppose it's because we don't understand what people are going through inside and then they reach their limit. I'm trying to not get to that point. Depression is a tragic illness that steals the light from people who are here and those who have passed on. I hope your family is able to find some peace. Thank you for sharing!
Don’t worry about posting or not posting. We watch your videos to support you on your journey on life. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers
Hi Rachel. OMG your video just described exactly how I feel. It is so hard every day to keep going. My closest friends say "snap out of it" Obviously they don't understand depression and that you cannot control it, it controls you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about ending it all, but something always keeps me here. I am not ashamed to say that I actually cried when I watched this video and I am 57 years old. Please stay safe we need you here. you don't know me but I need you to help me to live in my car. I need your knowledge, encouragement and AWESOMNESS. :) Andrew from Australia
Shananigans, thank you for sharing some of your story with me! If people could just, "snap out if it", they would!! I don't understand why anyone would choose to live this way. They don't! It's no way to live!
Rachel -I first came across your site when I watched a video on window covering. Many of us have suffered the crushing weight of depression. The last thing you want to hear is someone giving you some upbeat, perky, keep your chin up speech! Just don't forget that you have a great support group that cares about you and you'll get through this.
Dear Rachel, I can relate to your statements. I struggle with mental health as well. I have social anxiety and depression. I know how hard it is to “be happy” when you are going through anxiety or depression. Please know you are not alone. It is frustrating to be told to just smile. I have trouble experiencing joy. While I’m not a negative person, I struggle with being happy as I stated earlier. My thoughts are with you. Respectfully, Jackie
Rachel just putting yourself out there for all to see reveals to me that you are stronger than you think. Not too long ago I was in a dark place and unfortunately turned to my old friend alcohol. Each day is a struggle but I keep trying . I truly understand how you feel.
I totally relate to what your saying. I struggle with mental illness and it can be very debilitating. We put so much focus into our career and when you don't have that, you feel less than on some level. I try to find value and purpose in the small things of everyday life. Doing laundry, getting groceries, decorating for the holidays, yard work, whatever. Sometimes just taking things 1 day at time is enough. Our job's don't and shouldn't define us.
I like your thought process and think it's a great way to look at the little things. Some days it takes a lot just to get those things done. Thank you for your comment!
You were very brave to make this video. Not many could do this. But you have the support of 12.4K subscribers, and not many people have that! I was subscriber #12, 399, and I didn't win anything! 😢
What you are feeling is so natural and human. A dog is a real responsibility. They have the ability to change your life but only if you are ready for that responsibility. Just remember you are not alone in your experience. You will get through this.
I thought about you over the weekend. Since you know my history with YT and reminders, I checked the Community Tab to see if I missed anything since you last mentioned you were taking a break. I do know mental health is just as important as physical health. I pray you come to know, even with its ups and downs, life is truly a blessing and a gift. It is a one day at a time journey. I’m glad you are OK today 😊and pray you will continue to stay well. (I wondered what that thing behind you was. My first thought, since I have a pickup truck with a shell, was a truck bed slider, as I am in need of one! If you didn’t mention it, I was going to ask 😉)
Tray, I'm so glad you're here! I thought about posting an update and then felt bad about where I was, so I didn't. I'm going to do better about checking in, at least on the community tab. I agree with you about the blessings of life. I think that is why I'm still trying. I figured people would wonder what the contraption behind me was. It was a heavy video so I wanted to break it up.
Watched this again and it pains me, but I am so proud of you for moving out and also sharing this side of you with others. I feel that if more people shared these feelings then we wouldn't feel so alone. Love to you always. . . .
Hang on Rachel. Life isn’t simple like we’d wish sometimes. You’re great and it has shown through your videos, as well as the struggles. Thank you for sharing. We’re all in this together, and as tenuous and distant as the connection across UA-cam is, never doubt that a lot of us care and hope for the best. Trust in the future and take care of yourself! Good luck and bright days ahead ☀️
Wow.. That's so brave to open up like that. I hate to see you hurting like this. Many people struggle with similar issues. You are a smart, stunning, vibrant, sensitive young woman and you should realize that once you've hit that low point things can only get better from there. I know... btdt. I'd love to talk with you some more, even though I live on the other side of the globe. I hope you'll take me up on that. You did good seeking professional help, but chasing away the shadows with a friend may make for a lighter load to carry. This world needs every single sweet spirit it can get and they are in short supply. You are not broken, sweetheart... you're just experiencing some very nasty weather in your life.
It is only in the last what, 100 years that we have the need to be 'productive' and have mental health problems in such a univesal way. Ordinary people in the past, like you and me, would have been perfectly happy to put food on the table, keep a roof over their head and keep themselves and their partner and children alive. Relax into not setting goals above that. i promise you it'll be enough. We all place too much importance in the 'sidebar' of life.
Hey girl. I don't even know why I follow you except that you do a lot of stuff I would never do and I live vicariously through you. I normally don't listen to my YTers when they have a sit-down discussion but for some reason I listen to yours. I'm sorry you are having such a rough go of it. I can somewhat understand part of your journey, that is, the military part of it and how I'm sure that has made you feel even worse and less of a person. Just know that we follow you for your light and we follow you for your darkness too. I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us where you are mentally, because too many hide it and cover it up with smiles and then suddenly...we hear awful news. You sharing your story seems like a good thing to me. I don't even know you but I'm here for you and I love you.
Kristina, I think of you like a ride or die who I'd want in a back alley with me! I think I've said that before, but just in case, there you go again🙂. I appreciate your tolerance of listening to my sit downs and offering your support! It really means a lot to me. You're right about the military. The last five years of my career definitely took its toll and unfortunately is still with me for now. Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean so much!
I'm very familiar. You're being super brave by sharing your struggles and helping to reduce the stigma surrounding it. We'll be here when you're able to come around.
Rachel, I miss being one of your annoying coworkers lol. I miss you so much! You are so brave - that’s what it takes to allow yourself to be so open. I can’t wait to watch your next adventure! Miss you much!
Oooooh, Jennifer L.....🤗, you are not an annoying coworker! Just like OG Nicole, I ADORE you! I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me even though I preferred to keep to myself. I would have never known what a great cook you are!😀 I'm hoping to come for a visit in your neck of the woods. Maybe I can score some more of that southern cooking...and a shower😉!
I don't have a certified service dog but I do have an ESA and he does help me (intentionally, not just by being there) with dissociation, panic attacks (though not my anxiety disorder), my blood pressure medication and, because I have to care for him and I worry how he would be without me, he has kept me from hanging myself at least twice because I hadn't pre-planned for him. I highly recommend a dog if you think it can help. Hang in and hugs from Tennessee.
Sounds like you have what could be recognized by the ADA as a service dog. How wonderful it is that you have a loyal friend who looks out for you!! Thank you for your comment!
I hope that you see and feel better days more often Rachel!🙏🙏🙏 What ever so decide to do, please think of all the people that love you and always miss you. Take care and stay strong.
Rachel you do whatever you need to do to be who you are and what you know that you need. You know what you need. I have been there. I still go there sometimes. Its not pretty. You deserve all the things you can get. I have been in therapy since I was sixteen. I went myself. You are a wonderful You Tuber. We love your videos. We are here. Wow you are so intelligent about all these camping things. Wish I knew all that stuff. Am learning a lot from you. You look good. Looking forward to watching your new videos. Hang in there. God Bless Rachael.
Raw... made me cry. I honor your strength Rachel. You are a warrior. I am happy to go with you when you’re ready. Remember you can run the blood work through Tricare. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. They just need to email you the order and then you can take it to a lab to have your blood drawn. I also have progesterone and thyroid you can have if that’s what they prescribe you because I can’t take mine right now. avivawoman.com/
Hello Rachel. This video just popped up again on my list. You are the strongest woman I know, for you to post this for the world. When I see tears in your eyes, it breaks my heart. If here if you even need someone to talk with, yell at, or anything else. You have my contact info.
Hey Cuz, sending you love and prayers. That's exciting about Melanie! Foot zoning helps with all systems of the body, let me know if you ever want to try it. It helps alot with circulation, lymph, and balancing hormones. Love you!
Thank you for sharing, you are such an impressive and brave young lady. Really look forward to your videos and I am one of many who are rooting for you ❤️
Feel free to contact me , I can relate to your struggles. I believe I could share some of my experience , that would be helpful. You are a very inspirational young Lady !! The very best of your life is just around the bend ❤️! You are 100% just as you are ,and tell yourself that often and think on such things, you will feel the shift.
I’ve been there in the dark times and can totally relate. Hang in there. Will be praying for you and your family. Congrats on the new niece/nephew on the way! 😊
Thanks for sharing Rachel! I definitely identify with your point about "feeling guilty for procrastinating, and the endless cycle". Looking forward to your next video. :-)
I am so far behind. Last I saw was the lymphedema video, & even have a ton to catch up on before that. When I disappear it's also depression. And I'M feeling guilty not keeping up with your content. You did a bunch of work out vids??? I've missed way too much. There's always a lot more I want to say too but not in the public forum. Like medical stuff. For instance getting hormones tested is tricky. It's like a rolling wave & the only real way to get good data from it would be to test every day for a few months & establish a pattern. And absolutely no one will do that. I recently had mine tested, requested by my primary, because I'm 47 & rage for 3 days around ovulation & then want to die. About 2 days in, sanity returns. I then had an appt with my gyno who explained the wave thing. She said she's tested post menopausal women with normal levels & 18 year olds with very low levels who are still menstruating normally. She said that's why I go from homicidal to suicidal & then back to normal. We were using exaggerated terms, but sometimes it feels pretty close. So I don't want to dash your hopes on the hormone testing, but don't want you to be disappointed either if you don't get a a lot of insight out of it. I'm hesitant to advise on the dog one way or the other. Because you & I share the exact same position on children. I also don't want to pass on these genes, as you said. But it's many other reasons too. Depression makes you tired. Hard to chase kids or be there for them when you're tired. I always knew I didn't want them. Dogs can be like kids. That being said I did have my own dog for 13 years. Not intentional, got her in the divorce. But I learned a lot about myself with that dog. She was very difficult at first, until the ex left. After that we were inseparable. She became a sidekick that went everywhere with me. I learned which drive thru's had dog bones! Having her with me made dealing with people easier. A beautiful well behaved dog is a great distraction. And most people smile at you. ☺️ Having a dog was a great excuse to leave places too. "I'd love to stay but Jane's home alone & needs to go out." 😉 But yeah big responsibility. It's a toss up. But I know you'll do a ton of research & put a lot of thought into it & make the right decision. My only common sense warning is think about if you plan to go to the middle of nowhere with big game that might sniff out your pup. 🥺 Although I'm assuming a trained support dog wouldn't be wandering off. I'm curious if you got anything close to a diagnosis or if it's just generalized depression. It's unfortunate that mental illness is still such a mystery that it's often a case of trying different meds til you find one that works. More & more studies are linking mental health & gut health. (ease up on the hot chips & try to sneak in veggies any way you can stomach! 😉) They're even working on a blood test for depression as they've identified specific biomarkers. Ok I've already gone on way too long. I'll try to catch up on what I've been missing. I'd like to find an update to your lymphedema & see how that's going. Please take care Rachel. We don't want to lose you.
Thank you so much Toni for all the info about hormones. It makes sense about establishing a pattern over time. Don't worry about disappearing, I understand that. I'm glad when you make it back though. I've always enjoyed your comments 🙂. If I go the route of a dog, I will be extremely responsible. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and some anxiety. Since January, I've changed my diet (with less than 10 days of junk food days scattered throughout), and it has definitely helped me feel not so blah. I've also lost 22 pounds. Thanks again Toni for taking the time to comment! I'm really glad you shared all of that with me, and hope you'll continue to stick around. 💜
Hey, just wanted to say that at 49 I had those same issues (not as severe, but I was a rager for a few days around ovulation) and I got a hysterectomy. It didn't happen overnight, had to do a lot of testing for the insurance company to approve it, but I'm now taking Estradiol and haven't had a single issue since. I'm like a new woman in that regard. And no more damn bleeding! Just something to think about. Cheers.
It is not easy to live with the mental issues of life. I struggle as well. I have dogs, not psychiatric dogs, but their company and knowing you need to be there for them helps you keep going. Hang in there and when you struggle always say to yourself tomorrow is a new day and it will be better.
Stumbled across this video of you - previously was watching the video of you using the mini griddle camping. I'm sorry you feel this way with the issues and feelings you are having. You are making a difference to others by sharing your life. Remember you can call on the good Lord Jesus Christ for help. I hope you will be successful with your journey in life. A dog is a good companion.
@@RachelinRealLife I have always had a better chance catching a unicorn then catching you for lunch at Andrews but I'm always willing to try if the opportunity presents itself. Please keep in touch and let me know when we're eating 😋
I know this is going to sound horrible in regards to Lee (I don't know Max and Lee or of that's even the correct spelling) but as bad as it sounds you should be happy for Lee, sad for Max but happy for Lee. Whatever she was was facing, it can't hurt her anymore. Suicide is far from selfish, it's the complete opposite and I know that I may get people disagreeing with me but the person who was not right, they were holding on and holding on, often for other people, and then they finally do the last thing for themselves, for something that they wanted to do. To end any suffering. As for your meds, certain meds are much more effective if taken the same time everyday so you should TRY to take it at the same time all the time. Medication can be a love hate relationship, you know you need them, you know it benefits you, but you despise taking them. Sometimes you feel better for a long time and think you no longer need them, but often you still do. You may be a burden on your family but for the lucky ones, and from what you were saying it sounds like you are one of these, you are a burden that they wouldn't want to live without. Mental illness is a burden on everyone that it surrounds, but depending on how much someone cares about you it's a burden that they would rather have just to have you in their life. As you are so much more than just a mental illness, the burden that stems from the mental illness becomes a significantly less portion. I do understand where you are coming from, roughly where you are at and beyond where you are currently at and it can be a very, very dark place. You must TRY to contact your family when you really don't want to and I know that it's hard, but that's when you most need to. As for getting a dog, I think that that would be incredibly beneficial to you and your mental health. You are very much deserving of happiness no matter how distant that may seem to be at times, but you are clearly stronger than you may think, because, you are still here. You wake up every day and no matter how much you don't want to wake up at times you still do. If you need further help please look for it, it may not stop at just your doctor or a psychologist or psychiatrist. If you need hospital it is usually very beneficial, so don't be scared, it's better than either not being here or being permanently damaged after trying something and failing. You don't owe your viewers anything and if you need to take time off from you tube do it, your mental health comes first, because you must put yourself first, but I would suggest maybe just putting something up that you will take some time off for a little bit while you allow your mind to do some recovery. You hang in there little fighter, you can do it! The next day may be brighter, it may be darker but just know that it comes in waves, it's not permanent. Please take care of yourself because that's what you deserve 😊
All very well said Trevor! I agree with you, suicide is not selfish, in some cases at least. I am very open with my family and appreciate how you put it; that I'm a burden they wouldn't want to live without. It's all tough. I'll do better about posting an update. Thanks for your comment.
@@RachelinRealLife that's ok. I too am that burden, my brother drove 7 hours to be by my side when he didn't know if I'd pull through or not, so I'm not trying to point the finger, but it's just the reality of things for those of us who do suffer with/live with mental illness, depending on where you are at that point in time. Life is a bitch at times and mental illness really increases that so much more. When I am sick I simply can't deal with anything, everything is too much and I can be in bed for days sleeping between 20 and 22 hours a day for day after day not eating a single thing and not even drinking a cup of water a day I seem to be able to lose 22 pounds (I use the metric system so 10kg for me) in 4 days because I am so dehydrated and starved and I still am not hungry even after 4 days of not eating. When I am like that I am on the edge between living, and actively choosing not to anymore. The slightest thing can be enough to set me off. People that don't suffer with mental issues won't ever understand the whole procrastinating thing but when everything is too overwhelming it becomes just too much to deal with because the most mundane thing is simply too daunting. Remember one very important thing Rachel, you are not defined by your diagnosis, you are your own person, but your diagnosis has the ability to explain why you are feeling the way you are and more importantly, that it explains that you are a normal person that just need a bit of self-compassion, a bit of time out when you are at your most vulnerable. You are a beautiful soul Rachel and I think it takes guts to speak out so publicly, that in itself should be something that in your dark times should be remembered. You are a very strong and brave person, and you are so much more normal than your brain leads you to believe when you are unwell. That could be something that could help you as well. When you are doing well, let your healthy mind try to nurture your sick mind, in the way of write down everything you like about yourself, everything that you are good at and what makes you so awesome BUT DONT SHOW ANYONE, it's none of anyone elses business what you write down. When you are becoming unwell grab out that paper, or book or device that you have written all of that stuff down on and read it. Write down that every time you have become unwell you have come out the other end alive and you can do it again. Let your healthy state of mind encourage your sick state that you want to keep living, because it's so easy to let the sick side take over when you are unwell. Maybe write down that you have more camping adventures or hiking or biking or whatever is most interesting to you at that time, maybe you want to travel to a new waterfall or a beach or a forest or a new state/country or anything else that may make you want to keep going. Or maybe it's something you want to do, maybe you want to make a life sized snowman or huge sand castle or you want to accomplish something, but when you do it always put down something else again so there's always something there. I won't try to begin to understand those certain times when you are more likely to get depressed, because put simply I don't have the right anatomy to ever understand, but when you know it's coming and there's warning signs that while that's happening you have to tell yourself ok I'm about to struggle for a few days but that you know it usually lasts a few days or a week or maybe a couple of weeks, however long your mental health syncs up in those times you can be better prepared. Know or at the least start learning your warning signs/triggers and brace yourself and if possible do what you need to turn that around. I was having dramas recently and I know I would have ended up back in hospital AGAIN, if I didn't know what was happening or if I didn't actively force myself to not go there by redirection. By doing things to make sure that I wouldn't fall into that black hole that can be. Anyway I know this comment is very long, and if you read it all I do hope that I have been able to help, even if it's just 1 little thing, to make it easier next time you need some more loving and compassion from yourself. Big hugs to you for trying to shed some light to those that are suffering in silence and sharing your own journey, you have a very kind heart.
Couldn’t find a therapy dog that suited me so I went out in the woods and caught a therapy raccoon. Seems a bit ornery and bites my hand when I go to pet him . Spent the last 2 hours telling him some of what’s going on in my head. Pretty sure he’s the one that’s going to need therapy when I’m done.
Rachel...Years ago I lost a brother to suicide...it was awful...for my father, his children, and the siblings....you're left wondering what you could have done that would have prevented it...depression is a terrible thing...living in a bell jar where you can look out and see the world but the love and warmth can't penetrate in....know this Rachel, you are loved and cared about...don't let your thoughts trick you into believing anything different...and the world would never be better off without your sweet spirit....I care about you....I hurt for you.....and you are important to me.....depression will pass...just continue to hang in there and wait for that wonderful day...that will come....when the dark clouds lift.....
Lois, my sweet (like a Mom) lady in Maine! You brought tears to my eyes and I'm so glad to have you here. I very much appreciate you! I am so sorry to hear of your brother. Suicide doesn't make sense, even to me. I suppose it's because we don't understand what people are going through inside and then they reach their limit. I'm trying to not get to that point. Depression is a tragic illness that steals the light from people who are here and those who have passed on. I hope your family is able to find some peace. Thank you for sharing!
Don’t worry about posting or not posting. We watch your videos to support you on your journey on life. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers
Glad you are here! Thank you William.
Hi Rachel. OMG your video just described exactly how I feel. It is so hard every day to keep going. My closest friends say "snap out of it" Obviously they don't understand depression and that you cannot control it, it controls you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about ending it all, but something always keeps me here. I am not ashamed to say that I actually cried when I watched this video and I am 57 years old. Please stay safe we need you here. you don't know me but I need you to help me to live in my car. I need your knowledge, encouragement and AWESOMNESS. :) Andrew from Australia
Shananigans, thank you for sharing some of your story with me! If people could just, "snap out if it", they would!! I don't understand why anyone would choose to live this way. They don't! It's no way to live!
Rachel -I first came across your site when I watched a video on window covering. Many of us have suffered the crushing weight of depression. The last thing you want to hear is someone giving you some upbeat, perky, keep your chin up speech! Just don't forget that you have a great support group that cares about you and you'll get through this.
Thank you Jeffrey!
Dear Rachel,
I can relate to your statements. I struggle with mental health as well. I have social anxiety and depression. I know how hard it is to “be happy” when you are going through anxiety or depression. Please know you are not alone. It is frustrating to be told to just smile. I have trouble experiencing joy. While I’m not a negative person, I struggle with being happy as I stated earlier. My thoughts are with you.
Respectfully,
Jackie
Thank you Jackie! Your experience is so relatable. You can have everything you need but still feel no happiness. Thank you for being here!
Rachel just putting yourself out there for all to see reveals to me that you are stronger than you think. Not too long ago I was in a dark place and unfortunately turned to my old friend alcohol. Each day is a struggle but I keep trying . I truly understand how you feel.
I'm sorry to hear that David! Hoping you'll be able to put that friend six feet under! I'm glad you're here.🙂
I totally relate to what your saying. I struggle with mental illness and it can be very debilitating. We put so much focus into our career and when you don't have that, you feel less than on some level. I try to find value and purpose in the small things of everyday life. Doing laundry, getting groceries, decorating for the holidays, yard work, whatever. Sometimes just taking things 1 day at time is enough. Our job's don't and shouldn't define us.
I like your thought process and think it's a great way to look at the little things. Some days it takes a lot just to get those things done. Thank you for your comment!
You were very brave to make this video. Not many could do this. But you have the support of 12.4K subscribers, and not many people have that! I was subscriber #12, 399, and I didn't win anything! 😢
Rachel, you're one of the strongest and bravest women I know... Thanks for sharing your experiences with us 😊🤗
I ADORE you Nicole! Thank you 🤗
What you are feeling is so natural and human. A dog is a real responsibility. They have the ability to change your life but only if you are ready for that responsibility. Just remember you are not alone in your experience. You will get through this.
Yes, I understand the responsibility and know it's something I can handle. Thanks for being here!
I thought about you over the weekend. Since you know my history with YT and reminders, I checked the Community Tab to see if I missed anything since you last mentioned you were taking a break.
I do know mental health is just as important as physical health. I pray you come to know, even with its ups and downs, life is truly a blessing and a gift. It is a one day at a time journey. I’m glad you are OK today 😊and pray you will continue to stay well. (I wondered what that thing behind you was. My first thought, since I have a pickup truck with a shell, was a truck bed slider, as I am in need of one! If you didn’t mention it, I was going to ask 😉)
Tray, I'm so glad you're here! I thought about posting an update and then felt bad about where I was, so I didn't. I'm going to do better about checking in, at least on the community tab. I agree with you about the blessings of life. I think that is why I'm still trying. I figured people would wonder what the contraption behind me was. It was a heavy video so I wanted to break it up.
Watched this again and it pains me, but I am so proud of you for moving out and also sharing this side of you with others. I feel that if more people shared these feelings then we wouldn't feel so alone. Love to you always. . . .
Hang on Rachel. Life isn’t simple like we’d wish sometimes. You’re great and it has shown through your videos, as well as the struggles. Thank you for sharing. We’re all in this together, and as tenuous and distant as the connection across UA-cam is, never doubt that a lot of us care and hope for the best. Trust in the future and take care of yourself!
Good luck and bright days ahead ☀️
Thank you so much Frédéric, my dear Canadian friend!
Wow.. That's so brave to open up like that.
I hate to see you hurting like this. Many people struggle with similar issues. You are a smart, stunning, vibrant, sensitive young woman and you should realize that once you've hit that low point things can only get better from there. I know... btdt.
I'd love to talk with you some more, even though I live on the other side of the globe. I hope you'll take me up on that.
You did good seeking professional help, but chasing away the shadows with a friend may make for a lighter load to carry.
This world needs every single sweet spirit it can get and they are in short supply.
You are not broken, sweetheart... you're just experiencing some very nasty weather in your life.
It is only in the last what, 100 years that we have the need to be 'productive' and have mental health problems in such a univesal way. Ordinary people in the past, like you and me, would have been perfectly happy to put food on the table, keep a roof over their head and keep themselves and their partner and children alive. Relax into not setting goals above that. i promise you it'll be enough. We all place too much importance in the 'sidebar' of life.
I understand perfectly... sending you light and love. ☮️
Thinking about you today! Praying your burdens are lighter. ❤️
Wow! I am sorry about your Mental Health! I know how you feel. :(
Hey girl. I don't even know why I follow you except that you do a lot of stuff I would never do and I live vicariously through you. I normally don't listen to my YTers when they have a sit-down discussion but for some reason I listen to yours. I'm sorry you are having such a rough go of it. I can somewhat understand part of your journey, that is, the military part of it and how I'm sure that has made you feel even worse and less of a person. Just know that we follow you for your light and we follow you for your darkness too. I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us where you are mentally, because too many hide it and cover it up with smiles and then suddenly...we hear awful news. You sharing your story seems like a good thing to me. I don't even know you but I'm here for you and I love you.
Kristina, I think of you like a ride or die who I'd want in a back alley with me! I think I've said that before, but just in case, there you go again🙂. I appreciate your tolerance of listening to my sit downs and offering your support! It really means a lot to me. You're right about the military. The last five years of my career definitely took its toll and unfortunately is still with me for now. Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean so much!
@@RachelinRealLife I got you girl! 💪
I'm very familiar. You're being super brave by sharing your struggles and helping to reduce the stigma surrounding it. We'll be here when you're able to come around.
Lindsey, it's good to see you! Thanks for your support!
Rachel, I miss being one of your annoying coworkers lol. I miss you so much! You are so brave - that’s what it takes to allow yourself to be so open. I can’t wait to watch your next adventure! Miss you much!
Oooooh, Jennifer L.....🤗, you are not an annoying coworker! Just like OG Nicole, I ADORE you! I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me even though I preferred to keep to myself. I would have never known what a great cook you are!😀 I'm hoping to come for a visit in your neck of the woods. Maybe I can score some more of that southern cooking...and a shower😉!
I don't have a certified service dog but I do have an ESA and he does help me (intentionally, not just by being there) with dissociation, panic attacks (though not my anxiety disorder), my blood pressure medication and, because I have to care for him and I worry how he would be without me, he has kept me from hanging myself at least twice because I hadn't pre-planned for him. I highly recommend a dog if you think it can help. Hang in and hugs from Tennessee.
Sounds like you have what could be recognized by the ADA as a service dog. How wonderful it is that you have a loyal friend who looks out for you!! Thank you for your comment!
I hope that you see and feel better days more often Rachel!🙏🙏🙏 What ever so decide to do, please think of all the people that love you and always miss you. Take care and stay strong.
Thank you so much BoBank!! This comment is so touching 🙂
Hey Rachel, I know things can really get dark in our lives. But have to look forward to the enjoyable bits like hunting bigfoot.
You make a great point and what I try to put my energy into. Thank you Jim!!
i can only say rachel you are a strong person. 💓💓
Rachel you do whatever you need to do to be who you are and what you know that you need. You know what you need. I have been there. I still go there sometimes. Its not pretty. You deserve all the things you can get. I have been in therapy since I was sixteen. I went myself. You are a wonderful You Tuber. We love your videos. We are here. Wow you are so intelligent about all these camping things. Wish I knew all that stuff. Am learning a lot from you. You look good. Looking forward to watching your new videos. Hang in there. God Bless Rachael.
Thank you willo! I really appreciate your support and thank you for sharing some of your situation with me.
Raw... made me cry. I honor your strength Rachel. You are a warrior. I am happy to go with you when you’re ready. Remember you can run the blood work through Tricare. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. They just need to email you the order and then you can take it to a lab to have your blood drawn. I also have progesterone and thyroid you can have if that’s what they prescribe you because I can’t take mine right now. avivawoman.com/
Hello Rachel.
This video just popped up again on my list.
You are the strongest woman I know, for you to post this for the world. When I see tears in your eyes, it breaks my heart.
If here if you even need someone to talk with, yell at, or anything else. You have my contact info.
Thank you Bob! I have my days but things haven't felt as dark.
God will bless you!
Hey Cuz, sending you love and prayers. That's exciting about Melanie! Foot zoning helps with all systems of the body, let me know if you ever want to try it. It helps alot with circulation, lymph, and balancing hormones. Love you!
Thank you Kristen. I think I will (eventually) take you up on the offer. I appreciate your support and I love you too!
@@RachelinRealLife let me know when you're ready, I can come to you. I am out that way occasionally😉
You have a lot to do and to share I can't wait till you get back on the road again.
Thank you Jenz! The road is calling and I'm excited to start using my new setup!!
Thank you for sharing, you are such an impressive and brave young lady. Really look forward to your videos and I am one of many who are rooting for you ❤️
Thank you 4Runner! So glad you're here!!
Feel free to contact me , I can relate to your struggles. I believe I could share some of my experience , that would be helpful. You are a very inspirational young Lady !! The very best of your life is just around the bend ❤️! You are 100% just as you are ,and tell yourself that often and think on such things, you will feel the shift.
I was just thinking about you like an hour ago, checked the channel to see if I missed anything. Wishing you the best.
Thanks for being here! I really appreciate your support.
I’ve been there in the dark times and can totally relate. Hang in there. Will be praying for you and your family. Congrats on the new niece/nephew on the way! 😊
Thank you so much Yvonne, and for being here!
Thanks for sharing Rachel! I definitely identify with your point about "feeling guilty for procrastinating, and the endless cycle". Looking forward to your next video. :-)
Thanks Animesh!
Oh jeez just heard my name
💕💕💕💕
Keep your chin up, better times are right around the corner....huggs...
I am so far behind. Last I saw was the lymphedema video, & even have a ton to catch up on before that. When I disappear it's also depression. And I'M feeling guilty not keeping up with your content. You did a bunch of work out vids??? I've missed way too much. There's always a lot more I want to say too but not in the public forum. Like medical stuff. For instance getting hormones tested is tricky. It's like a rolling wave & the only real way to get good data from it would be to test every day for a few months & establish a pattern. And absolutely no one will do that. I recently had mine tested, requested by my primary, because I'm 47 & rage for 3 days around ovulation & then want to die. About 2 days in, sanity returns. I then had an appt with my gyno who explained the wave thing. She said she's tested post menopausal women with normal levels & 18 year olds with very low levels who are still menstruating normally. She said that's why I go from homicidal to suicidal & then back to normal. We were using exaggerated terms, but sometimes it feels pretty close. So I don't want to dash your hopes on the hormone testing, but don't want you to be disappointed either if you don't get a a lot of insight out of it.
I'm hesitant to advise on the dog one way or the other. Because you & I share the exact same position on children. I also don't want to pass on these genes, as you said. But it's many other reasons too. Depression makes you tired. Hard to chase kids or be there for them when you're tired. I always knew I didn't want them. Dogs can be like kids. That being said I did have my own dog for 13 years. Not intentional, got her in the divorce. But I learned a lot about myself with that dog. She was very difficult at first, until the ex left. After that we were inseparable. She became a sidekick that went everywhere with me. I learned which drive thru's had dog bones! Having her with me made dealing with people easier. A beautiful well behaved dog is a great distraction. And most people smile at you. ☺️ Having a dog was a great excuse to leave places too. "I'd love to stay but Jane's home alone & needs to go out." 😉
But yeah big responsibility. It's a toss up. But I know you'll do a ton of research & put a lot of thought into it & make the right decision.
My only common sense warning is think about if you plan to go to the middle of nowhere with big game that might sniff out your pup. 🥺 Although I'm assuming a trained support dog wouldn't be wandering off.
I'm curious if you got anything close to a diagnosis or if it's just generalized depression. It's unfortunate that mental illness is still such a mystery that it's often a case of trying different meds til you find one that works. More & more studies are linking mental health & gut health. (ease up on the hot chips & try to sneak in veggies any way you can stomach! 😉) They're even working on a blood test for depression as they've identified specific biomarkers. Ok I've already gone on way too long. I'll try to catch up on what I've been missing. I'd like to find an update to your lymphedema & see how that's going. Please take care Rachel. We don't want to lose you.
Thank you so much Toni for all the info about hormones. It makes sense about establishing a pattern over time. Don't worry about disappearing, I understand that. I'm glad when you make it back though. I've always enjoyed your comments 🙂. If I go the route of a dog, I will be extremely responsible. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression and some anxiety. Since January, I've changed my diet (with less than 10 days of junk food days scattered throughout), and it has definitely helped me feel not so blah. I've also lost 22 pounds. Thanks again Toni for taking the time to comment! I'm really glad you shared all of that with me, and hope you'll continue to stick around. 💜
Hey, just wanted to say that at 49 I had those same issues (not as severe, but I was a rager for a few days around ovulation) and I got a hysterectomy. It didn't happen overnight, had to do a lot of testing for the insurance company to approve it, but I'm now taking Estradiol and haven't had a single issue since. I'm like a new woman in that regard. And no more damn bleeding! Just something to think about. Cheers.
It is not easy to live with the mental issues of life. I struggle as well. I have dogs, not psychiatric dogs, but their company and knowing you need to be there for them helps you keep going. Hang in there and when you struggle always say to yourself tomorrow is a new day and it will be better.
Thank you for your comment Barb! I agree that animals help you show up. Lila, the neighbors cat who I've taken over, has been so good for me!
Any animal is good, cats can be aloof, dogs, you are their world. Can you tell I like dogs? 😉
Stumbled across this video of you - previously was watching the video of you using the mini griddle camping. I'm sorry you feel this way with the issues and feelings you are having. You are making a difference to others by sharing your life. Remember you can call on the good Lord Jesus Christ for help. I hope you will be successful with your journey in life. A dog is a good companion.
🥰 Always ready to be whatever you need... even if it's just a conversation with an old buddy
Ooooh, Mel!! How are you? It's good to see familiar faces! Thank you for commenting!! We should do lunch 😉
@@RachelinRealLife I have always had a better chance catching a unicorn then catching you for lunch at Andrews but I'm always willing to try if the opportunity presents itself. Please keep in touch and let me know when we're eating 😋
Cheer up rachel! I know you're a strong lady. Been following your.vlogs living in your suv. . Look for another job. You're still young
I know this is going to sound horrible in regards to Lee (I don't know Max and Lee or of that's even the correct spelling) but as bad as it sounds you should be happy for Lee, sad for Max but happy for Lee. Whatever she was was facing, it can't hurt her anymore. Suicide is far from selfish, it's the complete opposite and I know that I may get people disagreeing with me but the person who was not right, they were holding on and holding on, often for other people, and then they finally do the last thing for themselves, for something that they wanted to do. To end any suffering. As for your meds, certain meds are much more effective if taken the same time everyday so you should TRY to take it at the same time all the time. Medication can be a love hate relationship, you know you need them, you know it benefits you, but you despise taking them. Sometimes you feel better for a long time and think you no longer need them, but often you still do. You may be a burden on your family but for the lucky ones, and from what you were saying it sounds like you are one of these, you are a burden that they wouldn't want to live without. Mental illness is a burden on everyone that it surrounds, but depending on how much someone cares about you it's a burden that they would rather have just to have you in their life. As you are so much more than just a mental illness, the burden that stems from the mental illness becomes a significantly less portion. I do understand where you are coming from, roughly where you are at and beyond where you are currently at and it can be a very, very dark place. You must TRY to contact your family when you really don't want to and I know that it's hard, but that's when you most need to. As for getting a dog, I think that that would be incredibly beneficial to you and your mental health. You are very much deserving of happiness no matter how distant that may seem to be at times, but you are clearly stronger than you may think, because, you are still here. You wake up every day and no matter how much you don't want to wake up at times you still do. If you need further help please look for it, it may not stop at just your doctor or a psychologist or psychiatrist. If you need hospital it is usually very beneficial, so don't be scared, it's better than either not being here or being permanently damaged after trying something and failing. You don't owe your viewers anything and if you need to take time off from you tube do it, your mental health comes first, because you must put yourself first, but I would suggest maybe just putting something up that you will take some time off for a little bit while you allow your mind to do some recovery. You hang in there little fighter, you can do it! The next day may be brighter, it may be darker but just know that it comes in waves, it's not permanent. Please take care of yourself because that's what you deserve 😊
All very well said Trevor! I agree with you, suicide is not selfish, in some cases at least. I am very open with my family and appreciate how you put it; that I'm a burden they wouldn't want to live without. It's all tough. I'll do better about posting an update. Thanks for your comment.
@@RachelinRealLife that's ok. I too am that burden, my brother drove 7 hours to be by my side when he didn't know if I'd pull through or not, so I'm not trying to point the finger, but it's just the reality of things for those of us who do suffer with/live with mental illness, depending on where you are at that point in time. Life is a bitch at times and mental illness really increases that so much more. When I am sick I simply can't deal with anything, everything is too much and I can be in bed for days sleeping between 20 and 22 hours a day for day after day not eating a single thing and not even drinking a cup of water a day I seem to be able to lose 22 pounds (I use the metric system so 10kg for me) in 4 days because I am so dehydrated and starved and I still am not hungry even after 4 days of not eating. When I am like that I am on the edge between living, and actively choosing not to anymore. The slightest thing can be enough to set me off. People that don't suffer with mental issues won't ever understand the whole procrastinating thing but when everything is too overwhelming it becomes just too much to deal with because the most mundane thing is simply too daunting. Remember one very important thing Rachel, you are not defined by your diagnosis, you are your own person, but your diagnosis has the ability to explain why you are feeling the way you are and more importantly, that it explains that you are a normal person that just need a bit of self-compassion, a bit of time out when you are at your most vulnerable. You are a beautiful soul Rachel and I think it takes guts to speak out so publicly, that in itself should be something that in your dark times should be remembered. You are a very strong and brave person, and you are so much more normal than your brain leads you to believe when you are unwell. That could be something that could help you as well. When you are doing well, let your healthy mind try to nurture your sick mind, in the way of write down everything you like about yourself, everything that you are good at and what makes you so awesome BUT DONT SHOW ANYONE, it's none of anyone elses business what you write down. When you are becoming unwell grab out that paper, or book or device that you have written all of that stuff down on and read it. Write down that every time you have become unwell you have come out the other end alive and you can do it again. Let your healthy state of mind encourage your sick state that you want to keep living, because it's so easy to let the sick side take over when you are unwell. Maybe write down that you have more camping adventures or hiking or biking or whatever is most interesting to you at that time, maybe you want to travel to a new waterfall or a beach or a forest or a new state/country or anything else that may make you want to keep going. Or maybe it's something you want to do, maybe you want to make a life sized snowman or huge sand castle or you want to accomplish something, but when you do it always put down something else again so there's always something there. I won't try to begin to understand those certain times when you are more likely to get depressed, because put simply I don't have the right anatomy to ever understand, but when you know it's coming and there's warning signs that while that's happening you have to tell yourself ok I'm about to struggle for a few days but that you know it usually lasts a few days or a week or maybe a couple of weeks, however long your mental health syncs up in those times you can be better prepared. Know or at the least start learning your warning signs/triggers and brace yourself and if possible do what you need to turn that around. I was having dramas recently and I know I would have ended up back in hospital AGAIN, if I didn't know what was happening or if I didn't actively force myself to not go there by redirection. By doing things to make sure that I wouldn't fall into that black hole that can be.
Anyway I know this comment is very long, and if you read it all I do hope that I have been able to help, even if it's just 1 little thing, to make it easier next time you need some more loving and compassion from yourself. Big hugs to you for trying to shed some light to those that are suffering in silence and sharing your own journey, you have a very kind heart.
🤗
Thank you Bob!
@@RachelinRealLife
Your welcome. 🙂
Couldn’t find a therapy dog that suited me so I went out in the woods and caught a therapy raccoon. Seems a bit ornery and bites my hand when I go to pet him . Spent the last 2 hours telling him some of what’s going on in my head. Pretty sure he’s the one that’s going to need therapy when I’m done.
That great, goofy, David Drew sense of humor is back and I'm here for it! Give your racoon some grapes to make up for it 😉.
🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
Just subscribed cool video
Sent you a message where I usually contact you.
Thanks for the heads up Vin! I will check in with you later today.
Sigh..... ugly cry coming
I've missed you 🤗
❤️🧡💙💛 I’ll try and be around more often !