The worst romantic tension killer for me is when the MC goes on and on about how hot the Love Interest is. Like sure, he's hot, but what other good qualities does he have?
Ugh hate that Trying to make absolutely sure my OTP OCs think more about things other than "oh my goodness they're so hot, cute, etc" like "he's so supportive" and "she's so talented"
Teenager types often care about looks more, or they get fooled by 'the bad boy' who has more confidence than he should. So, it makes perfect sense that some types care greatly about that.
@@PaigeTheCartoonCaptain that's way more interesting! I don't mind a few phrases like "He looked handsome there standing in the sunlight." But when they start talking about abs, and tight jeans and other body parts, I just glaze over. A superficial MC is a boring MC, in my opinion.
1- Never or rarely have time alone together 3- They fall in love to quickly 3- Tease each other about other potencial love interest 4- They never touch 5- They get sick of each other after a while 6- They don’t challengers each other faults and weaknesses 7- They have romantic chemistry with other’s characters
#1--there could be a plot reason for this or any other of the characteristics, particularly in dystopian tales. If there's not, though, yes, mistakes were made.
@@x-mighty7602 Reader demographic decides, I guess. Women readers only want one man love interest, while men readers like to have many female options, maybe?
One thing that kills romance for me is when they fall madly in love and have nothing in common. Theres absolutely no reason why they should fall in love yet they are suddenly in love. There has to be a connection between the two people in order for their romance to withstand the stories conflict. Another thing that kills me is when one character does something truly messed up to the other character and it’s forgiven in the end because they are SO in love. That’s an instant killer for me
Some people are very impulsive, low impulse control. I even knew a husband and wife who got married very quickly and are the rare couple who are actually a good match.
This is almost going to happen in my book, a young, eager officer will wish he had chemistry with my tough-as-nails female starship captain, but his confession of true love will only make her furious. Then, he'll complicate the plot by running away to prove himself with brave deeds.
I agree! And with your first statement, its 100%worst when the only connection is that they both love a child they are caring for. This can work, but not if the child is they only thing the couple has in common, it's ridiculous
@@LeviathantheMightyyeah, a rare exception probably, because I don’t know any couple that did what you comment. Every couple I know actually took time to be together together. And they are fine. But what you say, I never saw.
The worst mistake for me in writing romantic chemistry is sacrificing authenticity for the sake of plot convenience or adhering to romantic tropes without adding depth or originality to the relationship
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well Abby may be better suited to respond than me personally lol. But I suggest incorporating a romance subplot into your story by crafting complex, multi-dimensional characters with morally gray motivations (what works for me best personally) Make sure to build the romance gradually, introducing obstacles and conflicts that challenge the relationship, while utilizing the atmosphere to enhance emotional depth. Avoid clichés also, balance the subplot with the main plot, and aim for a realistic resolution that resonates with readers. Focus on themes of love, sacrifice, trust, and redemption to add depth and intensity to the romantic relationship within the broader narrative. These are just a few things that come to mind
@@KGBeast. my book is a retelling of The Lion King In addition, I borrow elements from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which features Titania and Oberon, the queen and king of the fairies respectively Late into the book, I feature a somewhat explicit lovemaking scene, followed by my female protagonist murdering her love interest due to her inner corruption and trauma, pushed to doing it by a malevolent magic sword
@@unicorntomboy9736 Ok that sounds interesting not gonna lie, interested to see how you go about reworking the themes and ideas of the original story into those of your own
Thank you. I’m currently working with an indie team as an editor for a game jam and that is one gripe I have with it. I don’t get it. There’s 5 writers and me and only 1 writer and myself want genuine relationships it feels like between the characters. Everyone else just wants them to kiss or flirt. To me it really is boring, pointless. I don’t feel anything at all unless there’s a genuine meaningful connection.
I would also add just make them enjoy each others company in non-romantic ways. When the author shows the two love interests just having fun with each other doing something thats not romantic, it solidifies that they are truly well placed. Like if they share a passion for investigation and do it together. Or maybe they are both mages and work together to make their magic stronger. Idk, hopefully that makes sense.
THANK you for saying this. I can’t stand it when as soon as the two get together it’s nothing but making out or seggs, even while they’re having conversations they should be having seriously. It’s honestly one of my biggest peeves and can cause me to DNF.
I totally understand and I fully agree. A relationship builds out of mutual interest. My characters both are avid gamers and share their downtime together doing that because it A. Strengthens their bond by giving them more time together outside of daily life, B. Gives them something to continue discussions about throughout the story, C. Establishes that they really are best friends not just buddies. They spend almost all their time together and are attracted to each other, hence romance builds. If you don't have some way you can see character 1 wanting to be with character 2 at literally all points in time, why do you think something as deep and personal as romance would ever bud? They don't have to share literally everything, but one or two things they are doing together or constantly talking with each other about to build upon that thing makes a world of difference.
I don't know, i think an interest in someone else can be the entire reason someone hangs out with another. Rather, i think that most of the time, when two characters are romantic interests, thats ALL they are, which detracts from the relationship aspect of two characters. That is to say, teo people can share no interests, but are interested enough in each other to at least try to interact with each other anyway. If you get what i mean
@@xavierthomas5835I'm 2 months late, but I'm replying anyway. I think what the original commenter means is that, when they get past the "I'm interested with this person so I'll find a way or reason to be with him/her" phase (which is what I think you're talking about when two people start of as strangers to lovers), then they should have moments that are not about them making out, having seggs or just being romantic. Afterall, even if the relationship is a romantic one, it's not all about romance or being romantic in general. Your lover is also your partner in life, not just in seggs. I think OC is talking about when the lovers get past the "getting to know each other" &/or "madly in love with each other" phase, and their love becomes more 'stable & safe' as they find out things that they can enjoy, not just as lovers but also as close friends or just, simply, as two people enjoying each other's company.
Hot take: being sick of each other is completely normal and can actually strengthen a relationship. It provides another hurdle to move past. I did not immediately love everything about how my husband lived his life and there were times where little stuff he did made me upset or annoyed. And vice versa, spend TOO long with someone and you eventually find SOMETHING you don’t agree or like about one another. BUT you can absolutely use this as a plot device and strengthen their bond by having them fight and then compromise, just like what happens in real life. Real love takes WORK and gets easier with time. Been with him 9 years now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and he is my muse ❤
I think that what you're saying relates to her point of having conflict to make the chemistry grow. If they are sick of each other for no reason, just because they have been spending a little too much time together, that kills romantic chemistry. But if there is a conflict, of course they're going to be sick of each other- but they can solve that conflict and grow together.
There is a difference between what may work in real life and what works in a romance book. What readers are looking for in romance often is a form of escapism. No offence but I don't want to read a book about a couple who work through a guy's tendency to take his gf for granted and relies on weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores or something. Sure it's VERY realistic, but damn, where's the fun? Not all conflicts are created equals, when you're reading fiction. Some will make you want to help characters grow, and some will make you wish they die sooner than later. You have to be very careful with the amount of realism you put in a romance. If the readers start hating a character, it's over.
@@blumeshullman8002 okay I agree, what I’m talking about is a very fine line where the conflict between two love interests is each other sometimes. Ex: Stranded together is a very popular trope and I’m saying that it might be fine at first if a couple has shown interest in each other but as time goes on the get sick of each other until they realize this fight is petty, they love each other and need to work together to get un-stranded. Perhaps girl gets sick of a reaction to something she says a lot, and it turns out boys’ sister used to say the same thing before she betrayed their family, so now he resents it. They dismantle that not everyone who does that is bad and they grow and move on, having learned more about each others pasts in the process. It wouldn’t be fun if they just are puppy-love all the time, or the ONLY conflict is external forces. I’m not saying you have to include “being sick of each other” in your romance, but for me, it can be a tool, just like any other conflict.
I don't like reading that personally. To me, reality is for the day to day- it doesn't belong on my bookshelf. Fights are great but nitpicking after spending "too much time together" turns me all the way off in books.
What kills the romantic ship for me is usually when one person does most of the work in the relationship when the other simply doesn't invest as much thoughts or just stupid and never grows. I think it just won't work when two people develops at different pace, most of the time I started rooting for the one with most growth to move on and find better pair/be alone.
Same! I feel like if you love someone, you invest something into the relationship and don't let your partner do all the work in it. I always hate these kinds of relationships depicted in fictional work, it always makes me root for the one who doesn't do anything to just get dumped in the meanest way possible. Especially if they play prince/princess demandy-pants who's hard to impress and the other one has to win them over and proof their worthiness or some stupid sh*t. Just no.
So basically every romance written by man lol😂 and male MC always the person who "doesn't invest anything" while girl or girls are dancing around him in all ways possible 😭
@@olyabutorina6869Shonen anime be like, specially written by a dude; weird cases were the romance its actually well work it turns out the mangaka was a woman (like Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist)
@@olyabutorina6869interestingly, in my experience the character who gives it all in the relationships I’ve read/seen is the man. The woman in some romances for some reason expects to be treated like a princess yet gives hardly any interest in loving the man. It’s so strange to me. It’s like they loved being loved rather than loving the actual man. But that might just be bad luck with the dynamics I’ve read unfortunately!
True! I am sick of all those "prove me your love"-character (mostly girls) while they never invest anything into the relationship. That's not even how real relationships work..
One thing in my opinion that kills a ship is they fight waaay to much. Sure, disagreements is important when writing ships. BUT it only works if the characters WORK through the conflict. Arguments in fictional ships build chemistry BUT only to a certain point. When you have two characters arguing and having an on and off relationship it becomes toxic and not fun to watch or read about.
Real I'm all in for a rivals to lovers, so I enjoy a lot those fights; but I 100% agree that it's different to build a dynamic like rivals, and have them fight over EVERY LITTLE THING, even worse when the fight is about something one of the characters deeply cares about, and they never do something to make up to that. It becomes stressful.
Also for the arguments to not overtake the relationship of the characters the author needs to balance the fighting moments with sweet moments between the two characters, that shows there bond and adds complexity and emotional wait to there arguments and fights, these is the secret why angst is so addictive because you know why the relationship is important for the two characters but they can't help but argue with each other due to misunderstandings etc. If the only thing they do 24/7 is argue then why are you even writing a relationship at all? Create sweet, and funny moments between two characters to make the character dynamic fun as well as complicated, rather then just 1 dimensional arguing.
"When they tease ease other about other love interests" - that can set up a fun twist. Character A is convinced that B couldn't possibly love them so A tries to set them up with C because C is "far more worthy" of B. B mistakes the attempted matchmaking as A being disinterested and tries to settle for C despite loving A.
The worst romantic killer for me is if the boy is doing the action and the girl is only supporting/watching/ agreeing with the boy. For example, the girl goes with the boy and the boy does some kind of activity and the girl just watches instead of joining in. (Unfortunately, this happens far too often)
My thing is when a character DELIBERATELY destroys something/someone the other character loves just to see them suffer. Maybe it's bc I hold grudges, but it's just sickening to me. Not only is it insanely hard to redeem that character later on, but it's hard to see the two together without viewing the scene under a veil of toxicity. If it's on accident? Yes. Give me all the angst.
Yeah. Honestly, even when it’s an accident, unless it’s properly addressed, I’d still be mad. I hate it when things are just swept under the rug because someone says sorry or feels bad. Clearly they don’t need to somehow undo it or fix things completely, but there still needs to be a proper attempt to make things right.
IKRR My biggest pet peeve on romance, even fanfics, makes me abandon immediately it's when they just make the love interest IMPOSSIBLE to redeem. By starters, i never forget so that's just me, I'm a believer that there are some things where even if I forgive, we just can't go back. When they cheat, or even do something they know will hurt the MC i just can't, and even worst when it's done poorly, used for shock value or stretching the story or forced to create conflict and gives you this unsatisfation. An example of this is every Colleen Hoover ever.
Massive agree on "it's insanely hard to redeem that character later on." Dynamics like that *can* work, but it can *only* work if the author puts in the effort to, and is willing to handle the slow-burn with tact. Rushing it just leaves the toxic/abusive taste in any reader's mouth. But giving it the time it needs for the asshole character to not only realize how much they screwed up, but make amends and change as best they can, and *earn* that other character's love and trust again? Chef's kiss. Redemption without introspection and growth is just a shiny "good job" sticker slapped on, nothing more.
You are right, but I'd like to add that the opposite can make the romance much sweeter. By that, I mean when something important one of the characters had was destroyed, so the other character makes something themselves to replace it. Even better if this thing reflects some of the skills and personality of this other character. For example: in the fanfic I'm writing (I'm working on an original book too but this one's about the fic) the recurve bow of character A breaks in a fight and can't be repaired. A is really sad about it because it was family heirloom from his late grandfather. Character B sees this, and so he makes him a sort of compound bow. He's s very much into engineering so it makes sense that with some research he can do it. He gives it to A, who, even though the original bow can't be replaced, is extremely happy. A tightly hugs B (even though he's usually not into too much phisical contact), and that's probably when he realises he's s in love with him. I hope this makes sense😅
In Chinese Historical Fantasy novels, there is a deliberate thing, called Second Male Lead Syndrome. It's on purpose. It's when the secondary male is so good with the Female Lead, that you wish they would ditch the actual Male Lead for the secondary. If you ever want to rant about a girl being with the wrong guy, read the Chinese novel Chaos of Beauty. I swear it was those interactions with the Secondary ML that kept me turning the pages. I hated, and still hate the Male Lead. However, I will say if you write a better love interest you only have two ways to go, messy divorce to be with the other person, or terrible tragedy. So, while I agree with most of the advice, sometimes that secondary character being better has plot potential. At the very least if you break your reader's hearts and crush their 'ship' they will remember your novel for years to come.
Experienced that with a certain Kdrama and was crushed. Oh my goodness everyone in my family loved the male lead and hated the second male lead I wanted to stab someone. The first guy: Boring, the senior, took her on a date that was only about things he liked, no flaws or character development, only good thing he did was jump in front of a knife that was aimed at the MC The second male lead: Took her on a date about things she liked, googled up how to impress a date cuz he was nervous, joined a club because of her, befriended her brother and they became absolute besties and he helped him a lot, learned what it was like to fall in love and care about someone other than himself
I'm writing a young, eager male character who wishes he was the second male lead, instead my tough-as-nails female starship captain will have a friends-with-benefits situation with an exotic alien leading his oppressed people to a new planet. The eager guy will complicate the epic journey by running off to prove himself with brave deeds...
Another reason: Conversations not being deep enough. I mean, sure, you can have both characters in a stage with both of them alone after some conflict or situation they just went through together but, sometimes we have this... shallow conversations, characters almost asking each other hows the weather and then, after two of these situations, boom! They´re in love and its like... N-no? You barely know them, everything we know about both characters is what they've revealed us through their own thoughts, but they've NEVER talk about themselves with each other? What do they have in common? Whats their dreams and motivations? Do you share anything else besides vicarious passion?? Please, make you characters have DEEPER CONVERSATIONS!!!
7:49 I think I don't agree with this one that much, because there are characters that do not like touch, and I think showing respect for that boundary can be more romantic than "but they would do it for this person"
This, Too much touch can also come across as manipulative, like the character is trying to force a connection. It's creep behavior if it isn't reciprocal.
I thought of this because some of my characters are like this. You could work around this by making the love interest the person who respects their boundaries the most! Instead of them being the duo that touch the most, they’re the duo that touch the least. Maybe if one character is touchy and the other isn’t the touchy one can learn over time.
This is actually an important factor with one of my main characters. They have some degree of Haphephobia (fear of touch), usually only able to manage a handshake, and only because they spent ages pushing themselves until they could. But it's an important point with a character they become involved with that they over time build enough trust to allow a bit more touch. But what's important, besides the other person respecting the boundary, is that this is very slow, and happens in baby steps. It's not like they just magically are okay with all touch from this person all at once, or even every time. The building of trust means things like they flinch less if that person manages to touch their arm, and that they would even allow that as a sign of comfort, but at no point will they ever completely not flinch at the initial contact. Because it's a trauma response, a reaction, and while it can lessen, it isn't going to just poof away. Also, even when the other person does earn a lot of trust, it's not all or nothing every time. Even if it's their partner, there's still days where a pat on the back is the extent of what they could handle. But, the fact there's progress over time, and that trust is such a big part of it all, does make it feel earned when the person is allowed a bit more touch, and it means more.
Fullmetal Alchemist has possibly the most impressive romances I have seen. Because I am a shipper, I am a navy captain over my fleet of ships. But FMA makes me root for every single one of the canon ships, and I don't root for any other ship. I usually think the love interest is more interesting with one of the side characters, but FMA just manages it, I don't know how.
shippers are the reason why I do not engage with fandom of most series/books. Their ships are ridiculous, often going against author's original plot and they are more often than not just insanely stupid and unrelatable. It's like putting random fabrics together and insisting they work together, because you've decided to dismiss 99% character traits of the given character for the ship's sake. :/ Huge nope.
@@marikothecheetah9342 But they're so cute! In all seriousness, I can understand where you're coming from to some degree. One of the reasons I don't like the anime Fairy Tail anymore is because of the shipping. The author either wants to appease or torment all of the shippers so he keeps throwing bait to multiple ships just to keep the ship wars alive. It made the characters feel inconsistent and like they had little will of their own. Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great.
@@missedthebandwagon976 "Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great." 'fun imagining two characters? Are they their characters? if they want they can write/draw their own characters and ship them to their hearts' content. But it pisses me off that I can't enjoy watching anime, because people no longer care about the story, but they care about ships and ignore everything about characters, including their sexual orientation. :/ If I published anything and saw ANY shipping of my characters that I don't like as an author - I'd sue the asses of those fans like there's no freaking tomorrow. I'd rather have 1 fan that respects my work, than somebody who feels that they can take my hard work and characters I created and treat them like their own. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 honestly, I think your opinion kills the magic of stories just as much as over shipping does. The beauty of stories is that you're engrossed in what happens, you get invested, you imagine. The most imaginative of us will picture out scenarios in their minds, they will get their own interpretation of the story. Just because people have an interpretation of your work that isn't the same as what you envisioned doesn't mean it's wrong. Now, if they started making fanfictions of your work, you could sue them, but I don't see why. It's basically free advertisement. Unless they're young teens, fanfic writers give credits to the source material and often respect the original creator. You do you, after all, but I think that depending on your audience, all this fan work could be good. People aren't necessarily treating characters as their own, in the sense that they give credits. They simply extrapolate on those characters and imagine stories too that they share. They don't get any money out of it, so I don't see the problem. The problem with toxic Fandoms is simply that the audience is full of brain dead people. Instead of paying tribute to the original work by nicely imagining stories, they with for their fantasies to actually be real, and it clashes with the fantasy of other people in the Fandom, and it gets annoying. Just make sure your audience isn't like My Hero Academia's, and honestly you're good, the fan work will be alright. If not, good luck. (also, not saying there's nothing wrong with shipping. There's also a problem with people sometimes paying more attention with sexualising and thinking about which character to ship with who than on the actual story, and it's annoying as all hell. Some characters are pretty much aroace but still shipped. But for a long while, people headcanonned characters as queer to feel represented. I understand this part of your argument, but it's more nuanced to me than it is to you.)
When a character is obsessed with the idea of love itself and notion of being in love, I become dubious and sceptical of their love interests... as it's less about the chemistry and more about the character's own erotomania. That's one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet is so great: she establishes her credentials as grounded, clear-headed and self-aware so that as the love develops we can trust that she's not just a fantasist. It's ironic that, at least as far my tastes go, writers who are obsessed with love must write characters that aren't in order to convey a powerful love story.
you know, this comment helped me realize why a lot of people didn't like one of the romances in a show I liked when I did like it. I personally liked that romance, but that WAS a trait of one of the characters. I didn't even realize this was a thing so thanks 👍
I love this! I also like when there’s a specific reason why characters fall in love because it conveys that they wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. For example, in my favorite musical Hadestown, Eurydice falls in love with Orpheus because his unwavering faith and optimism make her feel supported, safe, and hopeful. Nobody else could’ve done that for her. It makes it so much more tragic then when he betrays her trust and sends her back to the underworld, because we know she’s never finding that feeling of safety again with anyone else.
You can have an amazing romance between characters with no spice whatsoever, but spice without romance is erotica and fulfills a completely different fantasy. Both are fine to write, and the audiences often overlap and cross over, but writers need to be cognizant of which one they are writing.
The only point where a relationship can be perfect is when the focus of the book is not on the relationship itself but on the problems coming from outside that the couple must go through.
Love at first sight.... Gurl!! My hubby and I have 10 years and three mids under our belts now and it atarted with eye contact when i walked in a room and we saw each other and there was this magnetic attraction. There was something about him and something about us that we just knew, "Yup. Thats the woman i am going to have a family with and be with for the rest of my life." And for me, "That man... He's going to be something in my life. Oh boy. Welp, let's avoid thi- nope. Can't. Just... Focus on your goals, he wasn't a part of them.... Focus... Nope. I can't. Welp, here we go." And then we got to know each other as friends. He was playing it "cool" and i was trying to pump the breaks. Good conversations occured, honest ones because there was no expectations. But it was pretty much attraction and a knowing from first sight. I get it... Rare, but it does happen and isn't as unbelievable as some may this.
@baahcusegamer4530 There are two mes it feels like a romance novel. There's been highs and lows and the funniest but if it all... We literally should have met SO MANY times when we were kids. I even saw him perform in a play in highschool, his one and ONLY performance, BECAUSE I went to watch one of my long time friends performance after she transferred to a new school district. Like... Wild!
That's like most of Nicolas Sparks' novels. Hated 'The Choice' cause the female lead had an affair with her neighbour who she just met while her fiance was on a two week trip. And we're supposed to root for this new relationship?
I've read an awful lot of romance stories where one of the couple is abusive towards the other from beginning to end, and it's never treated as a problem, because the author doesn't see it as a problem. Fastest way to get me to check out. I'll never root for an abusive relationship, neither in reality nor fiction. Doesn't matter how good the couple's chemistry is outside the moments of abuse.
I read this one book where both characters are horrible to each other in the beginning. I mean hitting/punching each other, name calling, one telling the other they should have died a long time ago. Then after resolving some stupid misunderstanding (which could have been avoided if they had just communicated), they're all buddy-buddy and eventually making out in the next book.
Interesting - I could actually see "rarely or never alone together" as a great builder of romantic tension, if it has a clear, compelling reason, and is used as an obstacle they must overcome. I can't help but think of Nora in Pete's Dragon, who managed to have a deeply compelling romance even as the only part of the couple that had any screen time at all lol. Or Maid Marian and Robin Hood in that old Disney adaptation. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," in the words of Lady Kluck :P
Couples in Regency novels HAVE TO be rarely/never alone together. That’s how their society worked. The secret is making the feeling of intimacy happen even with others around.
Think that's if they already were or wanted to be together. Like Ladyhawke kind of thing, can be tension building or gutwrenching. But usually chemitry has to be there first for the fact that they are apart to matter
For me it depends on the context where the story takes place... for example, perhaps the two characters would like to be together and remain alone but they have duties or obligations so they are always interrupted (I'm talking about works set in ancient times and the characters have many obligations) for me this can be annoying in some cases, but it can also not be if it is inherent to the setting and as you say it could create a lot of romantic tension
6 hits hard. I read a book that the two characters were flawed, but in no way able to help each other get better. Their personalities just clashed. I DNF'd it because being together literally made their flaws worse. This was a romance, so it wasn't a purposeful thing.
My 'Notify me' button is broken! fun right? Can someone reply to this comment when it premieres? Thank you in advance! Edit: ty all who tried to remind me I ended up sleeping through it 😅
So... my characters in the book I'm writing now are in a committed relationship with one another for over a year, and they appear to be flawless at first. She's slender, lovely, successful, smart, beautiful, speaks 5 languages and signs in 1.5; she manages her money well, she supports his dreams, and she just loves to cuddle with him when she's not at work. He's a pro snowboarder (one of the best; the Olympics wants him to join their Russian team), he's super popular, he's wise, he's strong, he's faithful, he's Godly (it's a Christian fantasy novel; please don't make it weird), he's good to her, he is willing to wait for her until marriage before they sleep together, because she wants their relationship to be based on love, tenderness, reliability, and togetherness, and not sex. He's handsome, good-natured, and able to control himself when her hormones get all out of whack after she's bitten by a werewolf. He cooks, he cleans, and he teaches her tips to improve her own cooking. Deeper down, however, they both have some pretty heavy flaws. One of hers is that she blames herself for everything, even though most of the negativity in her circumstances is due to things she cannot change. He is loyal to a fault. He will jump in front of her to protect her from a supernatural threat, even though humans are much weaker than just about any of the Mythics. He'll go into a coven of vampires with nothing but a knife, a rope of garlic bulbs, and his Russian tenacity, and tell her he's here to help her. The man is an absolute LEGEND, but he puts himself in harms way, because he feels like that's his job. And while, yes, the man is meant to protect the woman, a woman can defend her man in some ways, and in this case, she's better suited for defending against supernatural threats, given that she is a supernatural being. Hers is based in abuse. His is based in not wanting to lose the person he's become so attached to, and be alone forever. So...now my question is: Are those good flaws, or should I mention other flaws they have?
They say to write what you know about, which is probably why I’ve never been able to attempt romantic relationships in my literature. But this was definitely most helpful!
Ironically, Anthony and Kate from Bridgerton S2 do a lot of those "no-no's" (rarely ever alone, almost never touch, encourage other love interests, attraction at first sight, ... etc) and they're a very very popular and high chemistry pairing ! So I guess it depends on how it's written / those tropes are handled.
The touch thing is nailed perfectly with Kanej in SoC duology. Their slow burn was literally outta this world and I don't think I've ever read anything with as strong sense of intimacy as the bathroom scene (ifykyk) The thing is, they both have some sort of trauma connected to physical touch and it's just taken into account so beautifully, I was at loss of words while reading the books. Leigh Bardugo did a phenomenal job with them.
15:00 Okay, but I wanna do a thing where I want to be obvious about wanting the audience to think that I’m forcing the MC with someone he DOESN’T have chemistry with, and making the audience think that the “love interest” and her actual love interest are just platonic buds when they have more chemistry, so I throw everyone for a loop when the MC is rejected and the girl he likes actually gets together with the person she has chemistry with.
I hate when one of the characters really wrongs the other (abandoned them, cheats on them or even kills their family) and it's painted as "romantic " or something and then one of them nearly dies and the other needs to save them, but they never even talk about the issue!!!
Sometimes it can be good to bring a secondary character for the plot of attempting to break apart the couple who are strongly in love. This can make things quite interesting especially when that secondary character becomes the type of an antagonist that has a crazed obsession to steal the man/woman from their lover. Depending how far that antagonist is willing to go.
Wanna make me stop rooting for a couple? Make the man say or do something out of character that upsets the woman and the woman doesn't question it. She just calls him a monster never wants to see him again and they start ghosting each other.
@@thatonepossum5766 ughhh I hate misunderstanding tropes. Especially when they don't make the woman listen to the man's explanation. Shrek already did this trope
I would add to #6. They can indeed both be very good for each other and not have a conflict, while also being satisfying for the reader. One of them can help the other overcome a challenge, and the other can grow in the process. They do not have to be on opposite ends of a conflict.
Frieren breaks or at least bends most of these rules and the romance is quite good. Frieren is nearly never alone with himmel, they rarely touch, they never directly addresses each other's flaws unless its lightly teasing one another, and he's dead most of the series. Yet, i hope they can work something out --if only letting her wish him permanent farewell.
Also, one thing that kills any romance for me is when in a relationship, one of the characters tries to change their love interest to make them a better fit. For example, A and B are dating but not yet in an official serious relationship. A notices something about B that A thinks is bad so A tries to talk B into changing this and B is just written to go along with it. Maybe there's even that ultimatum of "it's either you change, or this is over". This is just really a heavy killer that makes me really question why both of these characters are even dating each other. There's always two in a relationship and what I just explained is exactly what I hate about a lot of romances, the guy always has to change for the woman, WHY? It doesn't make sense! Why does SHE get what she wants while the guy has to give up his true personality? Why does miss demandy-pants not need to change? Stuff like this always makes me furious.
I'm about halfway into my first romance and they've found true love. Now is their moment for Happily Ever After. They'd better appreciate it, because I'm really going to put them through the wringer in the next chapter.
and number 3 I actually think can be executed well, in "call me by your name" both elio and oliver talk about their other love interests, chiara and marzia, but it doesn't kill any chemistry instead it makes it stronger
What also kills the whole chemistry is when for example the boy says to the girl things like: "I know you like me." and teases her with that. There's nothing romantic in that, it's just annoying and makes the character less likable because OF COURSE we all know that she likes him but if he points that out suddenly that excitement about their relationship vanishes.
As I am processing what you taught us today, I thought about a thriller and suspense, "who wants to kill the mayer this time and can we stop him in time?" book series by Tom Clancy that my ex owned. In the first three parts the MC and a colleague of his had a secret crush on eachother, light enough to be a subplot in that genre, but since can also not keep up the same secret crush for 30 books in a row(!), something had to happen with them, so in part 3 they finally kissed. And while Tom could still keep me awake, wondering who wanted to ɓomb city hall this time, the romantic subplot had become useless and boring. It didn't add to the story, because the change in their relationship... It was almost like the writer kept that subplot out of necessity or something... So I would say, as number 8: write this lovestory for a reason, let these people be together for a reason, convince us that the situation really needs these two together, if your romance is a subplot.
Thank you, Abbie! I've been a bit discouraged the past couple of weeks as I'm working on the first draft of my next book because my heroine lacks agency, and I know it's hard for readers to genuinely like characters who are passive. So this afternoon, I watched your 7 Deadly Romance Mistakes video and was instantly struck by #6. I see now that my characters need to challenge each other's faults and weaknesses, not only to raise the conflict and stakes, but also to provide proof of their individual agency. An added bonus is that when they challenge each other, it adds great depth to the romance, proving that they are truly coming to know each other instead of simply being infatuated. Now, I've got a few great scenes plotted out and am ready to let the sparks (of various natures) fly. Thanks for helping me figure this out!
Yeah about the falling in love in a short amount of time, I was thinking that Titanic. Probably a good structure to use on how to build that tension even if it happens during 3 days or something lol.
Yes good one! They were in that forced proximity on the ship but plenty of opportunities to share each others world, like when he took Rose below deck and she dances with him and his fellow cheapsiders and then also the ship was big enough for some ‘alone time’.
Imo the most important thing that is needed in romance is character dynamics, eg: do they tease each other alot? Do they bicker alot? Do they get worried for each other easily? Etc etc.
This is so helpful, thank you! I’m working on trying to figure out my premise so the love interests are forced to be together. Maybe more tension is what I need. I’d love to see you break down famous fictional couples and explain why they work!
Rosalie & Emmitt- their love (story to me) crashed and burned when we learn that Rosalie hates vampire life. She tries to recover by saying how perfect he is for her etc but it feels like he's just a consolation prize when he views her & their life together as everything to him. I just never felt she loved him deeply.
You can have love at first sight, you just need obstacles to strengthen and then have or a conflict to challenge then the whole time, realistic, pragmatic inner conflicts, that challenges all angles like what life would be like or other people and situations that makes it plausible that they do belong together.
I laughed when you talked about eyes meeting across the room! I noticed a man across the room at the same time he noticed me and we have been together for 22 years since that night (in a bar, lol) July we will celebrate 20 years of marriage :)
I like the idea of them falling in love without becoming in love. As The story moves forward the relationship grows, but by the end of the story they are not quite there. You finish with them looking to the future, with the excitement they may have found the one. They go off hopeful but there is no certainty.
I think that Edmund and Fanny Price from the Mansfield Park novel by Jane Austen does exactly these 7 mistakes because of which Fanny's chemistry with Crawford looks and feels much better!
YES!!!!!OMG I was thniking the same thing! I was shipping Fanny with Henry the whole book, I didnt like her romance with Edmund at all, it felt so forced.
@@taylardotson8100 Yeah exactly! I don't understand the reason why Fanny had to end up with Edmund while Crawford did all the hard work to impress her like getting her older brother a suitable job and also visiting her in her poor family house. Edmund's change of attitude towards Fanny at last felt like a last minute plot change:(
I was reading a romance with an undercover security expert protecting a material witness in a crime. The witness had gone mute due to her trauma. It was going great until he was in serious danger and she screamed out to save him. And suddenly they were in love with each other, despite up until that minute he was resistant to any love due to losing his wife before that assignment. No slow burn. Just, "it's my duty to protect her. but I reluctantly come anywhere near her," instantly to, "wow, what a nice voice. I can't be without her. Must be always near her." And the same with her. She was neutral to him, just wanting to be friends but resisting his presence around her all the time as she didn't want to feel scared (so admitting she needed a body guard was admitting she was scared). Then, suddenly, she is terrified to be alone without him once she saves his life. I was so disgusted that I put the book down. A week later, I tried again, re-read the last paragraph I'd read, got disgusted all over again and refuse to read any more. It had been a very good read until that. Very disappointing.
I don't like or read romance novels or watch many romance films, but most stories tend to feature some form of romance so a lot of this is stuff I learned either through practice or observation. I'm working on my second novel that's mystery/action, but a romance plays a keep plot element to the story so I figured I'd brush up. A lot of this is advice is very accurate, especially the "challenge each other's beliefs" and "touching" scenes, it really helps to build up that tension between the characters before they get to sexy stuff.
Also show pain. Emotional pain brought on by a disagreement or cause by an external force can bring people together. I heard a story about a wife that lost her husband during the Holocaust. Also, there was yet, another man who lost his wife. After the war, (both widowed,) they meet eachother and decided to marry. They had kids together and shared their joy and pain for the rest of their days. Example Modern romance doesn't have to be that tragic, but the point is, sadness can play a big part in making a couple believable and relatable. Maybe in s more modern novel , you could have a man whose dad is sick and the man is grumpy all the time because it's stressful and he can't afford a caregiver. The women (love interest) maybe comes into conflict with the man and criticizes him being a grump, but when she learns why he's sad, she feels compation and even starts to help him. This goes on for awhile, then they relize they have alot in common. Even the father starts to like her. In short, its a slow burn. So, yeah, don't be afraid to show your lovers making mistakes or growing together and learning.
Now, it makes sense why two of my characters felt boring together. They grew up together in a situation where they did not look elsewhere unless they had to, and it worked...but it was boring. It made much more sense to make them like close siblings since that was possible , too.
Could you do mockumentary tips ? Those are my favorite genre and i couldn’t know if you would take request . I would be happy in watching your videos again .
For ‘never or don’t constantly don’t have time alone together’ is the total UP for my two main romantic characters. The actual book is revolving around the main character, Sophie (female, eleven, mortal), and a mage she becomes friends with, Toby (male, eleven, mage) when she stumbles into a different dimension. They stumble upon others and are mostly seen as friends for the entire first book, but during their journey to find ‘the frequency’, which is the drama, they spend all their time alone together. In the first book, Sophie only sees Toby as a companion in the actual writing, though her actions prove otherwise. She has major trust issues and is new to this world, and she doesn’t typically show any affection. But sometimes, she’ll protect Toby from monsters, defend him or stay loyal to him during troublesome people moments, or she’ll just do small little protective details, such as: Example one: (Toby has light magic as his mage power) Toby offers to cast the light instead of her using her flashlight, in case she needs it when they split. Sophie snaps that she can use the flashlight and she’ll be fine, making the point, ‘I doubt you’d even last a minute’, not as her seeing him as weak, but her worrying about his limits and how he might need to defend himself in future moments. Example two: Toby gives Sophie, since she has no powers, instead weapons choices. She takes her share and they continue on their adventure, after Toby pays for the weapons with his own money (which he needs and has been saving up for personal reasons, but point still stands). They run into an opponent with some sort of ‘sneak power’ (animals or creatures has a wider verity for powers than mages) and they get snuck up on. Sophie uses her weapons, though struggling as she’d just got them, and defends Toby, not watching her own back. Toby quickly backs her up, mostly since he’s a total sweetheart and golden retriever boy. For Toby, he at first sees Sophie as a pretty girl and develops a small ‘crush’, but he doesn’t actually like her romantically yet. He’s just never had a friend before and doesn’t talk to many females, and he’s never met someone from another dimension and finds her incredibly interesting. He thinks he has a crush on her for a small amount of time before he realizes she won’t like him back and they’re better off as friends (this does affect their future romantic relationship).
OH NO. This video made me REALLY stressed about my two main characters! They don't constantly have alone time, but when they do, they touch each other and get productive in their relationship's chemistry. However, I'm realizing that they liked each other as soon as they met (not love at first sight though) because FMC saved MMC. The latter lacking self-confidence and trusted friends, he immediately gets attached to FMC in a sort of pathetic way (because he quickly becomes enamored with those who show support to him), but then, he slowly learns more about her and gets genuinely attached to her in a loving way. Is this interesting if two characters like each other from the start? Like, the opposite of *enemies*-to-lovers?
in my opinion, i think it can still be interesting! enemies to lovers is popular because the conflict is naturally baked into the dynamic, but not every good romance needs to be enemies to lovers! they can have personal flaws or external issues they need to work through to be together, even if they like each other! like maybe the FMC is scared to let others rely on her because of a previous experience in her life, but she's still drawn to MMC and it creates a push and pull between them as he learns to be more self-confident. or maybe they want to be together but they need to solve an external obstacle. the point is, i think you can still tell a compelling story where characters push each other to grow and like each other at the same time - write the story that appeals to you! :3
Not every relationship needs to be enemies to lovers. Yeah sometimes there is something from the start. Not insta love, but rather something that makes one of the characters or two of them to take liking in each other that turns to love under some circumstances. So imo it's totally fine! Just make the relationship interesting and believable.
That is friends to lovers. It can start as a casual friendship or a “kindred spirit” friendship without being a coup de foudre. Or there can be an instant attraction that dies down a lot & just simmers in the background. Both work.
Sounds good to me I don't think you always have to follow any advice down to every detail. There's always room for experiments and stuff. In my main story i'm writing (i write a lot simultaneously..) it's not really "enemy" to lovers. Yes the guy is cold and distant at first, and acts annoyed etc. But the MC quickly notices this is just a mask he's hiding behind, as otherwise his behaviour contradicts this "leave me alone" attitude (for example, him helping her up when she falls, even asking if she got hurt). Also my MC doesn't act mean towards him, she's always being nice and polite to him even when he tells her to leave him alone or that his problems are none of her business, because she knows he's only putting on an act by that point. And yeah, they quickly find they have a lot in common and my MC wants to be friends, especially since they live in the same house (shared living) and she generally wants to get along with everyone. But seeing their similarities, they do get friendly with each other quick and I suppose you can notice the chemistry between them very early, but they do not like, immediatly fall in love or something, it's just that both of them feel that certain something between them and that's what makes the guy open up to the MC and what makes the MC choose to help him regardless of his behaviour. I plan to address that later on in the story.
Hearing these, I'm thinking on this romance webseries I am reading called Letters of Marque, and how it avoids all of these. By chapter 3, we know the two main characters are going to get together, but the story takes the time to build the relationship between the two, there is lots of handholding, and open communication between them is early and often. It is a delightful story, because the main characters don't realize their feelings for quite a long time.
Ok im not sure if u have read it but MXTX's grandmaster of demonic cultivation has one of the most natural romantic progressions ever and tis absolutely beautiful
To me a big relationship killer is the "will they won't they" trope. If its done for a short time I don't mind it (even if it rarely adds to the story and it's more often than not a cheap way to stretch it), but when characters keep making forced mistakes just for the sake of pulling a "will they won't they" plot, I end so fed up with it I no longer care about the relationship, even if it could have been good. No matter what the outcome is and how quickly or slowly you get there, there's not reason to keep fooling the audience instead of actually commiting
I’m not sure inverting these tips works to friendzone a character - because some of these would destroy both romantic and friendship chemistry. For example, characters who are friends should challenge each other on their faults and weaknesses, too - and can sometimes even do so more liberally than romantic partners. That’s where most friendly banter arises from. A friend who doesn’t challenge the protagonist isn’t even a sidekick, they’re just a servant. (This is the reason why a lot of Terry Goodkind’s supporting characters fall flat, because the main thing they do is support the protagonist, who is usually framed as “right”.) Conversely, I don’t want to turn other characters into a-holes, by having them fight all the time, just to prevent readers from shipping them. Notably, a lot of writers get the “more conflict” mantra wrong, and have characters fight furiously over petty things - rather than having them politely disagree on fundamental issues (like in Star Trek). The latter is where the actually interesting conflict lies. The former is just b*tching around, and potentially a sign of narcissism. In the age of social media, more and more people seem to struggle distinguishing between these two types of conflict.
The thing separate friend and lover are just how they approach physical touch. Maybe what she meant is let them "genuinely tease the other potential date " advice
When I first tried making romance, people have been drawn to my ships. I didn't realize it was because these mistakes were being avoided. But now that I know for sure, I can focus more on some of the main ships of my characters. Find more creative ways to interact with them, but also keep the chemistry more realistic by giving a journey that helps them grow together while they also learn to grow on their own as they would expect to do most of the time. But the romantic portion of my story is very delicate so it's good to learn these tips so I can handle the romance very carefully. The last thing we want to do is send a bad message to the world that can drive a reader to make those mistakes in real life and ruin, not just romance, but heck, even marriages.
For #3, just want to say, this can be a fine and legit thing if it's in a polyamorous relationship. I'm polyamorous, and my partners and I would love teasing each other about potential love interests 😂
At one point you said no reaction would come from mixing the same thing with the same thing (which makes perfect sense) But I also think there can be exceptions (like with all things) Like I have two characters (in a pairing) that both are bad at admitting what they want and taking active steps to that BUT for different reasons
I just wanted to comment to thank you for making videos like this and for free! I always go to my English teachers asking for advice but they're not available 24/7 so thank you for making videos like this, so young writers like me can catch our mistakes and fix them so down the line our writing is as best as can be!
Very nice and insightful video, thank you for this. For my most disliked romance killer I would have to say it is when one character very eary on shares a very intimate dark secret, a serious weakness or vulnerability with his or her love interest. This immediately makes me feel it is going to be an abusive relationship, the person will use their own vulnerability as a weapon to gain power over the victim, to guilt-shame the poor person into a relationship and will never let them have a say in any matter in a most cringy manipulative way as in "I trusted you with my secret and now you use it to hurt me!".
Really... it's annoying when one of the two (usually the male character) abuses the other at the first meeting using a secret or a vulnerability of his as a threat, the author does everything to make the relationship obviously toxic from the beginning and in many cases one of the two characters in his thoughts describes it as an abuse, but all this doesn't count for anything in the end, it turns out that the victim starts to feel pleasure and they will end up together forgetting and never naming the things that happened in the past.
@Anniee-v1g Wow, a very good one, I did not think of that. It make me think a little and I've realised I've missed the biggest turn-off possible: when the plot revolves around one person (almost always a male) holding his love interest in some sort of hostage situation against her will. He loves her in a clearly abusive way and yet somehow she is drawn to that man and falls for him anyway. This is so wrong on so many levels. Basically "Beauty & the Beast" trope - the most cringy fairy tale ever written. Another one that makes me die inside a little bit is a Hollywood invention of making a sex scene "hotter" :exaggerated eye roll: by having the lovers lunge at each other like starving dogs, throwing each other against the walls and furniture like they were fighting. Add to that the scowling faces with bared teeth. Having spent 16 years of my life in the ring I am well versed to violence, I like a good scrap any day of the week, but a mere thought of someone hurting a person they care about makes me turn the screen off / drop the book.
I have the habbit of always putting a "troubled guy finds salvation in a girl" relationship in my little stories. In whatever fashion. This list really helps me out a lot, thank you very much!
Interesting that many of these tips can work in real-life relationships: 1. Try to spend a lot of time together 2. Don't be blinded by love. You should never make vital decisions, like dating, on a whim 3. Teasing each other about other's love interest can be a huge dealbreaker. Try not to live in the past. 4. Physical touch is vital to keep a relationship going, especially marriage. HOWEVER, be mindful about physical touches. Physical touch, like holding hands or kissing, is the glue that sticks two people together. Especially 'exploring each other's bodies'. Both of you will be unforgettable in each other's mind because of the intimate thing you share together. And this also works when you are dating the wrong person! 5. If you get sick of each other after a while, that's a good sign your relationship is not working. 6. Most of the time, if you're in a relationship, your weaknesses will be put on a magnifying glass. Sometimes, this is a good sign, because the more intimate you get, the relationship will pull out the "real you" and it allows you to be vulnerable with each other. 7. You shouldn't cheat. That should be self-explanatory.
I'm stunned by the amount of romances I've read where the hero and heroine barely spend any time together. I read one in which the hero was trying to hide the fact that his child was the one the heroine gave up for adoption, and spent the whole book avoiding her. The fact they ended up together actually made me feel sick!
Abbie, you're a genius! I don't know if you know telepathy, but you bring out videos at the EXACT MOMENT we need them! I only have one question - what if you're writing long distance relationships where the characters are NOT able to be together because of other bonds? How can you adhere to proximity in this case?
You ain't lying lol I'm writing a story of a French succubus falling in love with an American human this video came out of nowhere. Taking her advice is great. so far I haven't messed up any of that. I'm trying to weave the supernatural elements into their connection since it's different from regular people talking and falling for each other... I'm having a lot of fun. 😊
From what I know, what I understood from your comment, and based on my unasked-for opinion, you should turn the distance into a real, daily, emotional issue for your characters, especially if they need this lovey-dovey physical contact in their couple. Since you can't have literal proximity between them, you should show a figurative one where they yearn for each other. If you want them to stay together for the entirety of your story, then internal conflict is the key. Make them suffer inside because of the distance (and maybe because of others' teasing, taunting, or even personal feelings for the two characters in question). If you want their relationship to last, then they must occasionally think of one another. Let them be reminded of their partner when they see a place where they had spent time together, hear a song that the other likes, stare longingly at a picture of them before rising from bed/after work, etc. Just little things in their routine that prove they cherish the other character. Additionally, they should somehow keep contact with one another, lest their feelings evaporate (it's human nature to turn to someone else when we miss the one we want). Let one character write a letter/text their beloved sometimes, and show how much the latter is happy/how their heart flutters at that small gesture. Let that special communication be the other's engine, the fifth wheel that keeps them afloat in dark times. The less frequently they'll communicate with each other, the more precious a message from them will be. Dunno if I said anything interesting, but hope it helped.
@ivystead OMG THIS IS ITTTT. My couple does have problems with the distance because one of them is military and uk how that turns out. But this could actually help a lot!!!! Thanks so much!!!
I reckon you could solve this problem by having them think about the other constantly, and have it be known that they talk often. You could showcase their chemistry through a featured conversation. Have them think deeply about the other, ask questions, imagine being with them
There’s always the “We were on the phone foe 3 hours & I can’t remember anything we said, but it was great” style of proximity. Physical proximity makes it easier, but emotional time together can do the job if it’s done well.
I know it's not "officially" part of the list, but that last thing you said I think is the single best piece of advice for romance writing in any genre; it should never, ever, EVER be forced. If your two leads don't seem like they should be together for whatever reason, don't have them be together. Not every story needs a romantic subplot (unless it is a romance obviously), and not every romance has to be between the two main characters. If a romance does work between the two mains and makes sense in the story, then by all means keep it; but if your romance doesn't add anything to the story or the characters, and doesn't occur naturally, and is only there because "everyone knows you pair up the two leads together" then for God's sake cut it. A perfect example is ATLA; Aang and Katara seem pre-determined to have a romance subplot literally from the off because he's the protagonist and she's the lead female character, but it feels incredibly out of place because they have no chemistry as a couple and it comes off as forced. Meanwhile, the "B" romance storyline of Sokka with Yue and Suki is far more engaging because there is chemistry and it feels like a natural evolution of the story, rather than because the writers felt compelled to give him a romance story. TLDR, only include romance where/if it makes sense. If that means it's between the two leads, one of the leads and a supporting character, a non-protagonist major character and a supporting character, or even if it means no romance at all. Whatever makes sense for your story
I had a "love at first sight" moment with a girl, and... yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. Breaking up with her 5+ years later shattered my entire Identity.
Yo Abbie, great tips, but what if one character already has a crush on another, and it’s about the other character falling in love with the first one (kinda like marinette and Adrien from miraculous, but better written) how would I write that?
Not Abbie, but may I ask whose POV it would be from? And I think it would be really cute if the crushing character just kept doing nice things and being a great friend to the other character who slowly starts to fall for the other.
It's not a mistake but i do love it when you focus less on the "romantic relationship" of character and more on it being too people who care for each other deeply. I feel like sometimes writers can focus heavily on flirty iconic moments and forget to have small simple things. It can be big romantic moments but make sure to focus on small things too, if a character is anxious and their partners knows this maybe put it in their relationship to hold each others hand subconsciously for support. Small moments like this can prove they care of each other outside of being a romantic relationship.
Honestly I kinda like the trope of chasing the wrong person for the longest time then only realizing how so much better they'd be with the person who really has the true chemistry with them. Mainly because once they see the other person as the one you just can't help but get exited that they finally see beyond the superficial part of love and see that this person is the friend that they deserve for life
I can share one example for the second rule: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Both of the main characters fell in love at first sight. However, their love was mysterious, magical, and also painful. I think the plot would have struggled significantly if Mikhail Bulgakov had decided to take a different approach.
So, I had a situation where a vice president tried to kiss my mc. She shut him down. I also have two side character's in my current story. Thanks again Abbie
Wasn't the "helping hand" in the carriage scene an improv by the actor? I'm sure I've read it somewhere. Jane Austen is my favourite author, but there is a lack of accidental touches in her books 😅
True, the social mores of the Regency period were pretty strict about when it was acceptable to touch someone of the opposite sex. Probably why dancing was so popular 😉. The film/TV adaptations of Austen's books can either find or add opportunities to show the characters touching, but poor Jane herself had to rely almost entirely on verbal chemistry--good thing she excelled at it!
@@michellethornton7926yes! That is why I point to the 1995 version of P&P! Elizabeth Bennet had gloves on, as she was being proper, Darcy was not because he’s home and so that hand hold into the carriage? So much better than the Keira Knightley version. The movie doesn’t make me swoon like the 1995 version.
His helping her into the carriage was not improv, but his stretching out his hand was. The actor got a cramp and stretched his hand out, and the director zoomed in on the shot.
And every 'don't' on this list can be a do in satire or when done well etc :) I think to 2, the 'no love on first sight', I'd add the sub-point of 'don't make one fall in love after being rescued' in one way or another. Seriously. "He saved me from those bullies/monsters/whatever, he is so amazing!" is just ... no. It really appeals to (mostly male) readers. It's not just a trope. I believe it's called the 'knight in shining armor' syndrome?
So for my couple of characters : - They spend much time together - They fall in love... A little to quickly so i will change that 😅 - They never tease eachother like that - They are touching themselves very often 😂 - They are not sick of eachothers - They are always challenging eachothers like this - And no, there chemistry is unique so... Okay, thanks for this video, it's very helpfull !
A kind of romance that I've recently discovered could be interesting to write is when two people who should hate each other because their personalities are so different, actually meet and find each other's differences intriguing and it balances them out. This leads them to become friends but of course it isn't easy, due to them being so different. So they need to be mature and find a way to compromise.
actually, the first 'problem' can be used to create a situation of conflict. the two characters at the beginning get along well and starts developing feelings but suddenly they are forced to be apart, busy with their own problems and situations to be together. Even juicier if its only one of the characters who is unable to meet up. in the end the other character just explodes, asking "what happened why did you get so distant?!" creating conflict which they could overcome by communicating! even problems can be bent and used properly and turned into a good plot addition!
Yeah, well, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, not a romance. I'm fairly sure it was supposed to be recognized as teenagers being over the stop and dramatic.
Oh my god, thank you. Now I know why some stories I read have good story and everything but I still feel disappointed somehow. Like how the male is always prevents the female being in trouble behind the scene but even if it happens he is one step behind that some else saves her just to come and collect her from the saviour , like bodyguard or friend. Just kind of disappointing Thank you so much for the tips
The worst romantic tension killer for me is when the MC goes on and on about how hot the Love Interest is. Like sure, he's hot, but what other good qualities does he have?
They're usually effing assholes, but it doesn't matter because they have a six pack. GROAN. I hate this
Ugh hate that
Trying to make absolutely sure my OTP OCs think more about things other than "oh my goodness they're so hot, cute, etc" like "he's so supportive" and "she's so talented"
Teenager types often care about looks more, or they get fooled by 'the bad boy' who has more confidence than he should.
So, it makes perfect sense that some types care greatly about that.
@@PaigeTheCartoonCaptain that's way more interesting! I don't mind a few phrases like "He looked handsome there standing in the sunlight." But when they start talking about abs, and tight jeans and other body parts, I just glaze over. A superficial MC is a boring MC, in my opinion.
@@racheltheradiant4675 thank you!
They do both think the other one is attractive but it's not what they think about the most.
1- Never or rarely have time alone together
3- They fall in love to quickly
3- Tease each other about other potencial love interest
4- They never touch
5- They get sick of each other after a while
6- They don’t challengers each other faults and weaknesses
7- They have romantic chemistry with other’s characters
💜🙏🏾 a real one
And the bonus one: one poor sonnet 😄
#1--there could be a plot reason for this or any other of the characteristics, particularly in dystopian tales. If there's not, though, yes, mistakes were made.
7) What about a love triangle?
@@x-mighty7602 Reader demographic decides, I guess. Women readers only want one man love interest, while men readers like to have many female options, maybe?
One thing that kills romance for me is when they fall madly in love and have nothing in common. Theres absolutely no reason why they should fall in love yet they are suddenly in love. There has to be a connection between the two people in order for their romance to withstand the stories conflict. Another thing that kills me is when one character does something truly messed up to the other character and it’s forgiven in the end because they are SO in love. That’s an instant killer for me
Some people are very impulsive, low impulse control.
I even knew a husband and wife who got married very quickly and are the rare couple who are actually a good match.
This is almost going to happen in my book, a young, eager officer will wish he had chemistry with my tough-as-nails female starship captain, but his confession of true love will only make her furious. Then, he'll complicate the plot by running away to prove himself with brave deeds.
I agree! And with your first statement, its 100%worst when the only connection is that they both love a child they are caring for. This can work, but not if the child is they only thing the couple has in common, it's ridiculous
@@Daughter-of-Adam-and-EveTbh I like the child thing but as a way of how they were brought together
@@LeviathantheMightyyeah, a rare exception probably, because I don’t know any couple that did what you comment. Every couple I know actually took time to be together together. And they are fine. But what you say, I never saw.
The worst mistake for me in writing romantic chemistry is sacrificing authenticity for the sake of plot convenience or adhering to romantic tropes without adding depth or originality to the relationship
I am currently working on a grimdark/ dark fantasy book featuring a romance subplot, how should I do it in this specific genre?
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well Abby may be better suited to respond than me personally lol. But I suggest incorporating a romance subplot into your story by crafting complex, multi-dimensional characters with morally gray motivations (what works for me best personally) Make sure to build the romance gradually, introducing obstacles and conflicts that challenge the relationship, while utilizing the atmosphere to enhance emotional depth. Avoid clichés also, balance the subplot with the main plot, and aim for a realistic resolution that resonates with readers. Focus on themes of love, sacrifice, trust, and redemption to add depth and intensity to the romantic relationship within the broader narrative.
These are just a few things that come to mind
@@KGBeast. my book is a retelling of The Lion King
In addition, I borrow elements from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which features Titania and Oberon, the queen and king of the fairies respectively
Late into the book, I feature a somewhat explicit lovemaking scene, followed by my female protagonist murdering her love interest due to her inner corruption and trauma, pushed to doing it by a malevolent magic sword
@@unicorntomboy9736 Ok that sounds interesting not gonna lie, interested to see how you go about reworking the themes and ideas of the original story into those of your own
Thank you. I’m currently working with an indie team as an editor for a game jam and that is one gripe I have with it. I don’t get it. There’s 5 writers and me and only 1 writer and myself want genuine relationships it feels like between the characters.
Everyone else just wants them to kiss or flirt.
To me it really is boring, pointless. I don’t feel anything at all unless there’s a genuine meaningful connection.
I would also add just make them enjoy each others company in non-romantic ways. When the author shows the two love interests just having fun with each other doing something thats not romantic, it solidifies that they are truly well placed.
Like if they share a passion for investigation and do it together. Or maybe they are both mages and work together to make their magic stronger. Idk, hopefully that makes sense.
THANK you for saying this. I can’t stand it when as soon as the two get together it’s nothing but making out or seggs, even while they’re having conversations they should be having seriously. It’s honestly one of my biggest peeves and can cause me to DNF.
I totally understand and I fully agree. A relationship builds out of mutual interest. My characters both are avid gamers and share their downtime together doing that because it A. Strengthens their bond by giving them more time together outside of daily life, B. Gives them something to continue discussions about throughout the story, C. Establishes that they really are best friends not just buddies. They spend almost all their time together and are attracted to each other, hence romance builds. If you don't have some way you can see character 1 wanting to be with character 2 at literally all points in time, why do you think something as deep and personal as romance would ever bud? They don't have to share literally everything, but one or two things they are doing together or constantly talking with each other about to build upon that thing makes a world of difference.
I don't know, i think an interest in someone else can be the entire reason someone hangs out with another. Rather, i think that most of the time, when two characters are romantic interests, thats ALL they are, which detracts from the relationship aspect of two characters. That is to say, teo people can share no interests, but are interested enough in each other to at least try to interact with each other anyway. If you get what i mean
@@xavierthomas5835I'm 2 months late, but I'm replying anyway.
I think what the original commenter means is that, when they get past the "I'm interested with this person so I'll find a way or reason to be with him/her" phase (which is what I think you're talking about when two people start of as strangers to lovers), then they should have moments that are not about them making out, having seggs or just being romantic. Afterall, even if the relationship is a romantic one, it's not all about romance or being romantic in general. Your lover is also your partner in life, not just in seggs.
I think OC is talking about when the lovers get past the "getting to know each other" &/or "madly in love with each other" phase, and their love becomes more 'stable & safe' as they find out things that they can enjoy, not just as lovers but also as close friends or just, simply, as two people enjoying each other's company.
@miaageha4471 you may, in fact, be right. I saw love interests and immediately thought of two people interested in each other.
Hot take: being sick of each other is completely normal and can actually strengthen a relationship. It provides another hurdle to move past. I did not immediately love everything about how my husband lived his life and there were times where little stuff he did made me upset or annoyed. And vice versa, spend TOO long with someone and you eventually find SOMETHING you don’t agree or like about one another. BUT you can absolutely use this as a plot device and strengthen their bond by having them fight and then compromise, just like what happens in real life. Real love takes WORK and gets easier with time. Been with him 9 years now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and he is my muse ❤
Oh wise one, show us, show us the way…write a book like this!😁
I think that what you're saying relates to her point of having conflict to make the chemistry grow. If they are sick of each other for no reason, just because they have been spending a little too much time together, that kills romantic chemistry. But if there is a conflict, of course they're going to be sick of each other- but they can solve that conflict and grow together.
There is a difference between what may work in real life and what works in a romance book. What readers are looking for in romance often is a form of escapism. No offence but I don't want to read a book about a couple who work through a guy's tendency to take his gf for granted and relies on weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores or something. Sure it's VERY realistic, but damn, where's the fun? Not all conflicts are created equals, when you're reading fiction. Some will make you want to help characters grow, and some will make you wish they die sooner than later. You have to be very careful with the amount of realism you put in a romance. If the readers start hating a character, it's over.
@@blumeshullman8002 okay I agree, what I’m talking about is a very fine line where the conflict between two love interests is each other sometimes. Ex: Stranded together is a very popular trope and I’m saying that it might be fine at first if a couple has shown interest in each other but as time goes on the get sick of each other until they realize this fight is petty, they love each other and need to work together to get un-stranded. Perhaps girl gets sick of a reaction to something she says a lot, and it turns out boys’ sister used to say the same thing before she betrayed their family, so now he resents it. They dismantle that not everyone who does that is bad and they grow and move on, having learned more about each others pasts in the process. It wouldn’t be fun if they just are puppy-love all the time, or the ONLY conflict is external forces. I’m not saying you have to include “being sick of each other” in your romance, but for me, it can be a tool, just like any other conflict.
I don't like reading that personally. To me, reality is for the day to day- it doesn't belong on my bookshelf.
Fights are great but nitpicking after spending "too much time together" turns me all the way off in books.
What kills the romantic ship for me is usually when one person does most of the work in the relationship when the other simply doesn't invest as much thoughts or just stupid and never grows. I think it just won't work when two people develops at different pace, most of the time I started rooting for the one with most growth to move on and find better pair/be alone.
Same!
I feel like if you love someone, you invest something into the relationship and don't let your partner do all the work in it. I always hate these kinds of relationships depicted in fictional work, it always makes me root for the one who doesn't do anything to just get dumped in the meanest way possible. Especially if they play prince/princess demandy-pants who's hard to impress and the other one has to win them over and proof their worthiness or some stupid sh*t. Just no.
So basically every romance written by man lol😂 and male MC always the person who "doesn't invest anything" while girl or girls are dancing around him in all ways possible 😭
@@olyabutorina6869Shonen anime be like, specially written by a dude; weird cases were the romance its actually well work it turns out the mangaka was a woman (like Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist)
@@olyabutorina6869interestingly, in my experience the character who gives it all in the relationships I’ve read/seen is the man. The woman in some romances for some reason expects to be treated like a princess yet gives hardly any interest in loving the man. It’s so strange to me. It’s like they loved being loved rather than loving the actual man. But that might just be bad luck with the dynamics I’ve read unfortunately!
True! I am sick of all those "prove me your love"-character (mostly girls) while they never invest anything into the relationship. That's not even how real relationships work..
One thing in my opinion that kills a ship is they fight waaay to much. Sure, disagreements is important when writing ships. BUT it only works if the characters WORK through the conflict. Arguments in fictional ships build chemistry BUT only to a certain point. When you have two characters arguing and having an on and off relationship it becomes toxic and not fun to watch or read about.
Real
I'm all in for a rivals to lovers, so I enjoy a lot those fights; but I 100% agree that it's different to build a dynamic like rivals, and have them fight over EVERY LITTLE THING, even worse when the fight is about something one of the characters deeply cares about, and they never do something to make up to that. It becomes stressful.
Also for the arguments to not overtake the relationship of the characters the author needs to balance the fighting moments with sweet moments between the two characters, that shows there bond and adds complexity and emotional wait to there arguments and fights, these is the secret why angst is so addictive because you know why the relationship is important for the two characters but they can't help but argue with each other due to misunderstandings etc. If the only thing they do 24/7 is argue then why are you even writing a relationship at all? Create sweet, and funny moments between two characters to make the character dynamic fun as well as complicated, rather then just 1 dimensional arguing.
@jøy_what_riley_loves_the_most True, but it can be a bit frustrating to read for me. It's okay if you like the drama though!!
Cannons also kill ships. (teasing)
@@crystaluwu1012I present to you Spensa and Jorgen
"When they tease ease other about other love interests" - that can set up a fun twist. Character A is convinced that B couldn't possibly love them so A tries to set them up with C because C is "far more worthy" of B. B mistakes the attempted matchmaking as A being disinterested and tries to settle for C despite loving A.
Character A sounds a lot like Takeo from My Love Story.
Poor C :'(
@@alicedodobirb2808don’t worry, C’s actually in love with D and they end up together in the end ❤
This is literally the anime, Toradora! lol
I mean, yeah, it sounds good. I think she meant that it overshadows the whole thing so much that it gets boring and begins to annoy people.
The worst romantic killer for me is if the boy is doing the action and the girl is only supporting/watching/
agreeing with the boy.
For example, the girl goes with the boy and the boy does some kind of activity and the girl just watches instead of joining in. (Unfortunately, this happens far too often)
My thing is when a character DELIBERATELY destroys something/someone the other character loves just to see them suffer. Maybe it's bc I hold grudges, but it's just sickening to me. Not only is it insanely hard to redeem that character later on, but it's hard to see the two together without viewing the scene under a veil of toxicity. If it's on accident? Yes. Give me all the angst.
Yeah. Honestly, even when it’s an accident, unless it’s properly addressed, I’d still be mad. I hate it when things are just swept under the rug because someone says sorry or feels bad. Clearly they don’t need to somehow undo it or fix things completely, but there still needs to be a proper attempt to make things right.
IKRR My biggest pet peeve on romance, even fanfics, makes me abandon immediately it's when they just make the love interest IMPOSSIBLE to redeem. By starters, i never forget so that's just me, I'm a believer that there are some things where even if I forgive, we just can't go back. When they cheat, or even do something they know will hurt the MC i just can't, and even worst when it's done poorly, used for shock value or stretching the story or forced to create conflict and gives you this unsatisfation. An example of this is every Colleen Hoover ever.
Massive agree on "it's insanely hard to redeem that character later on."
Dynamics like that *can* work, but it can *only* work if the author puts in the effort to, and is willing to handle the slow-burn with tact.
Rushing it just leaves the toxic/abusive taste in any reader's mouth.
But giving it the time it needs for the asshole character to not only realize how much they screwed up, but make amends and change as best they can, and *earn* that other character's love and trust again? Chef's kiss.
Redemption without introspection and growth is just a shiny "good job" sticker slapped on, nothing more.
@@izzy1356 YOU GET IT TY 🙏
You are right, but I'd like to add that the opposite can make the romance much sweeter. By that, I mean when something important one of the characters had was destroyed, so the other character makes something themselves to replace it. Even better if this thing reflects some of the skills and personality of this other character. For example: in the fanfic I'm writing (I'm working on an original book too but this one's about the fic) the recurve bow of character A breaks in a fight and can't be repaired. A is really sad about it because it was family heirloom from his late grandfather. Character B sees this, and so he makes him a sort of compound bow. He's s very much into engineering so it makes sense that with some research he can do it. He gives it to A, who, even though the original bow can't be replaced, is extremely happy. A tightly hugs B (even though he's usually not into too much phisical contact), and that's probably when he realises he's s in love with him.
I hope this makes sense😅
Abbie your candles near your books are STRESSIN' ME OUT haha
Ikr 😅😅😅😅
Same lol
It's a light candle. not real fire. OH MY GOSH IT IS REAL FIRE WTH
@@AgentMoss2217😂😂😂
One lil breeze and.. IT'S AFLAME AND I'M TALKING LIKE I'M IN THE REGENCY ERA 😅
In Chinese Historical Fantasy novels, there is a deliberate thing, called Second Male Lead Syndrome. It's on purpose. It's when the secondary male is so good with the Female Lead, that you wish they would ditch the actual Male Lead for the secondary. If you ever want to rant about a girl being with the wrong guy, read the Chinese novel Chaos of Beauty. I swear it was those interactions with the Secondary ML that kept me turning the pages. I hated, and still hate the Male Lead. However, I will say if you write a better love interest you only have two ways to go, messy divorce to be with the other person, or terrible tragedy.
So, while I agree with most of the advice, sometimes that secondary character being better has plot potential. At the very least if you break your reader's hearts and crush their 'ship' they will remember your novel for years to come.
I agree, but this method is risky. People might see it as trash and a waste of time
@user-zn2ei4vs6m It can be tricky, and admittedly, I see it play out more in high drama. It probably wouldn't work for sweet fluffy romance.
Experienced that with a certain Kdrama and was crushed. Oh my goodness everyone in my family loved the male lead and hated the second male lead I wanted to stab someone.
The first guy: Boring, the senior, took her on a date that was only about things he liked, no flaws or character development, only good thing he did was jump in front of a knife that was aimed at the MC
The second male lead: Took her on a date about things she liked, googled up how to impress a date cuz he was nervous, joined a club because of her, befriended her brother and they became absolute besties and he helped him a lot, learned what it was like to fall in love and care about someone other than himself
Thanks this is so interesting and makes me think of 😱 teams Edward and Jacob
I'm writing a young, eager male character who wishes he was the second male lead, instead my tough-as-nails female starship captain will have a friends-with-benefits situation with an exotic alien leading his oppressed people to a new planet. The eager guy will complicate the epic journey by running off to prove himself with brave deeds...
Another reason: Conversations not being deep enough. I mean, sure, you can have both characters in a stage with both of them alone after some conflict or situation they just went through together but, sometimes we have this... shallow conversations, characters almost asking each other hows the weather and then, after two of these situations, boom! They´re in love and its like... N-no? You barely know them, everything we know about both characters is what they've revealed us through their own thoughts, but they've NEVER talk about themselves with each other? What do they have in common? Whats their dreams and motivations? Do you share anything else besides vicarious passion?? Please, make you characters have DEEPER CONVERSATIONS!!!
7:49 I think I don't agree with this one that much, because there are characters that do not like touch, and I think showing respect for that boundary can be more romantic than "but they would do it for this person"
I think that too, the only couple I can think of right off the top of my head is Magnus and Alex from Magnus Chase
This, Too much touch can also come across as manipulative, like the character is trying to force a connection. It's creep behavior if it isn't reciprocal.
I thought of this because some of my characters are like this. You could work around this by making the love interest the person who respects their boundaries the most! Instead of them being the duo that touch the most, they’re the duo that touch the least. Maybe if one character is touchy and the other isn’t the touchy one can learn over time.
This is actually an important factor with one of my main characters. They have some degree of Haphephobia (fear of touch), usually only able to manage a handshake, and only because they spent ages pushing themselves until they could. But it's an important point with a character they become involved with that they over time build enough trust to allow a bit more touch. But what's important, besides the other person respecting the boundary, is that this is very slow, and happens in baby steps. It's not like they just magically are okay with all touch from this person all at once, or even every time. The building of trust means things like they flinch less if that person manages to touch their arm, and that they would even allow that as a sign of comfort, but at no point will they ever completely not flinch at the initial contact. Because it's a trauma response, a reaction, and while it can lessen, it isn't going to just poof away. Also, even when the other person does earn a lot of trust, it's not all or nothing every time. Even if it's their partner, there's still days where a pat on the back is the extent of what they could handle. But, the fact there's progress over time, and that trust is such a big part of it all, does make it feel earned when the person is allowed a bit more touch, and it means more.
@@LuiciasHua another riordanverse fan detected. yes!!
Fullmetal Alchemist has possibly the most impressive romances I have seen. Because I am a shipper, I am a navy captain over my fleet of ships. But FMA makes me root for every single one of the canon ships, and I don't root for any other ship. I usually think the love interest is more interesting with one of the side characters, but FMA just manages it, I don't know how.
I think it's the fact that the characters have respect and a deep understanding of each other. 💕
shippers are the reason why I do not engage with fandom of most series/books. Their ships are ridiculous, often going against author's original plot and they are more often than not just insanely stupid and unrelatable. It's like putting random fabrics together and insisting they work together, because you've decided to dismiss 99% character traits of the given character for the ship's sake. :/
Huge nope.
@@marikothecheetah9342 But they're so cute! In all seriousness, I can understand where you're coming from to some degree. One of the reasons I don't like the anime Fairy Tail anymore is because of the shipping. The author either wants to appease or torment all of the shippers so he keeps throwing bait to multiple ships just to keep the ship wars alive. It made the characters feel inconsistent and like they had little will of their own.
Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great.
@@missedthebandwagon976 "Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great." 'fun imagining two characters? Are they their characters? if they want they can write/draw their own characters and ship them to their hearts' content. But it pisses me off that I can't enjoy watching anime, because people no longer care about the story, but they care about ships and ignore everything about characters, including their sexual orientation. :/
If I published anything and saw ANY shipping of my characters that I don't like as an author - I'd sue the asses of those fans like there's no freaking tomorrow. I'd rather have 1 fan that respects my work, than somebody who feels that they can take my hard work and characters I created and treat them like their own. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 honestly, I think your opinion kills the magic of stories just as much as over shipping does. The beauty of stories is that you're engrossed in what happens, you get invested, you imagine. The most imaginative of us will picture out scenarios in their minds, they will get their own interpretation of the story. Just because people have an interpretation of your work that isn't the same as what you envisioned doesn't mean it's wrong. Now, if they started making fanfictions of your work, you could sue them, but I don't see why. It's basically free advertisement. Unless they're young teens, fanfic writers give credits to the source material and often respect the original creator.
You do you, after all, but I think that depending on your audience, all this fan work could be good. People aren't necessarily treating characters as their own, in the sense that they give credits. They simply extrapolate on those characters and imagine stories too that they share. They don't get any money out of it, so I don't see the problem.
The problem with toxic Fandoms is simply that the audience is full of brain dead people. Instead of paying tribute to the original work by nicely imagining stories, they with for their fantasies to actually be real, and it clashes with the fantasy of other people in the Fandom, and it gets annoying.
Just make sure your audience isn't like My Hero Academia's, and honestly you're good, the fan work will be alright. If not, good luck.
(also, not saying there's nothing wrong with shipping. There's also a problem with people sometimes paying more attention with sexualising and thinking about which character to ship with who than on the actual story, and it's annoying as all hell. Some characters are pretty much aroace but still shipped. But for a long while, people headcanonned characters as queer to feel represented. I understand this part of your argument, but it's more nuanced to me than it is to you.)
When a character is obsessed with the idea of love itself and notion of being in love, I become dubious and sceptical of their love interests... as it's less about the chemistry and more about the character's own erotomania. That's one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet is so great: she establishes her credentials as grounded, clear-headed and self-aware so that as the love develops we can trust that she's not just a fantasist.
It's ironic that, at least as far my tastes go, writers who are obsessed with love must write characters that aren't in order to convey a powerful love story.
you know, this comment helped me realize why a lot of people didn't like one of the romances in a show I liked when I did like it. I personally liked that romance, but that WAS a trait of one of the characters. I didn't even realize this was a thing so thanks 👍
I love this! I also like when there’s a specific reason why characters fall in love because it conveys that they wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. For example, in my favorite musical Hadestown, Eurydice falls in love with Orpheus because his unwavering faith and optimism make her feel supported, safe, and hopeful. Nobody else could’ve done that for her. It makes it so much more tragic then when he betrays her trust and sends her back to the underworld, because we know she’s never finding that feeling of safety again with anyone else.
@@artific3r_ I'm glad it was useful! Out of interest, what was the character/show in question if you don't mind me asking?
@@toms9357 it was Delloso de la Rue from a court of fey and flowers
All thirsting and no romance 🤦🏻♀️ please give me romance! I feel like the the spice rarely works unless there’s been a nice build up of romance👌
Oh yeah! Under the Oak tree in a nutshell!
You can have an amazing romance between characters with no spice whatsoever, but spice without romance is erotica and fulfills a completely different fantasy. Both are fine to write, and the audiences often overlap and cross over, but writers need to be cognizant of which one they are writing.
The only point where a relationship can be perfect is when the focus of the book is not on the relationship itself but on the problems coming from outside that the couple must go through.
Love at first sight.... Gurl!! My hubby and I have 10 years and three mids under our belts now and it atarted with eye contact when i walked in a room and we saw each other and there was this magnetic attraction. There was something about him and something about us that we just knew, "Yup. Thats the woman i am going to have a family with and be with for the rest of my life." And for me, "That man... He's going to be something in my life. Oh boy. Welp, let's avoid thi- nope. Can't. Just... Focus on your goals, he wasn't a part of them.... Focus... Nope. I can't. Welp, here we go." And then we got to know each other as friends. He was playing it "cool" and i was trying to pump the breaks. Good conversations occured, honest ones because there was no expectations. But it was pretty much attraction and a knowing from first sight. I get it... Rare, but it does happen and isn't as unbelievable as some may this.
Please, write a romance novel with this story. Do it now! ;)
@baahcusegamer4530 There are two mes it feels like a romance novel. There's been highs and lows and the funniest but if it all... We literally should have met SO MANY times when we were kids. I even saw him perform in a play in highschool, his one and ONLY performance, BECAUSE I went to watch one of my long time friends performance after she transferred to a new school district. Like... Wild!
I can’t tell you how many times I either hated or DNFed a book because of insta love or they got too close to quickly ❤
Ditto. The instalove really kills it for me.
That's like most of Nicolas Sparks' novels. Hated 'The Choice' cause the female lead had an affair with her neighbour who she just met while her fiance was on a two week trip. And we're supposed to root for this new relationship?
I've read an awful lot of romance stories where one of the couple is abusive towards the other from beginning to end, and it's never treated as a problem, because the author doesn't see it as a problem. Fastest way to get me to check out. I'll never root for an abusive relationship, neither in reality nor fiction. Doesn't matter how good the couple's chemistry is outside the moments of abuse.
I read this one book where both characters are horrible to each other in the beginning. I mean hitting/punching each other, name calling, one telling the other they should have died a long time ago. Then after resolving some stupid misunderstanding (which could have been avoided if they had just communicated), they're all buddy-buddy and eventually making out in the next book.
Interesting - I could actually see "rarely or never alone together" as a great builder of romantic tension, if it has a clear, compelling reason, and is used as an obstacle they must overcome. I can't help but think of Nora in Pete's Dragon, who managed to have a deeply compelling romance even as the only part of the couple that had any screen time at all lol. Or Maid Marian and Robin Hood in that old Disney adaptation. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," in the words of Lady Kluck :P
Couples in Regency novels HAVE TO be rarely/never alone together. That’s how their society worked. The secret is making the feeling of intimacy happen even with others around.
Think that's if they already were or wanted to be together. Like Ladyhawke kind of thing, can be tension building or gutwrenching. But usually chemitry has to be there first for the fact that they are apart to matter
@@lauragranger9813 I loved Ladyhawke but I think we’re in the minority.
Dang that line from Lady Klucks hit me right in the heart
For me it depends on the context where the story takes place... for example, perhaps the two characters would like to be together and remain alone but they have duties or obligations so they are always interrupted (I'm talking about works set in ancient times and the characters have many obligations) for me this can be annoying in some cases, but it can also not be if it is inherent to the setting and as you say it could create a lot of romantic tension
6 hits hard. I read a book that the two characters were flawed, but in no way able to help each other get better. Their personalities just clashed. I DNF'd it because being together literally made their flaws worse. This was a romance, so it wasn't a purposeful thing.
Oh yeah, I read one of those too recently... Under the Oak tree. At the end, I almost hated every single page.
My 'Notify me' button is broken! fun right? Can someone reply to this comment when it premieres? Thank you in advance!
Edit: ty all who tried to remind me I ended up sleeping through it 😅
Same here
It says Premieres in 8 hours. 17 April at 20:30.
It starts in aproximately 15 mins, but I'm sure you're already here, LOL! Anyway, have fun wathing!
It’s on in 11 mins
😊
Five minutes left! ❤
So... my characters in the book I'm writing now are in a committed relationship with one another for over a year, and they appear to be flawless at first.
She's slender, lovely, successful, smart, beautiful, speaks 5 languages and signs in 1.5; she manages her money well, she supports his dreams, and she just loves to cuddle with him when she's not at work.
He's a pro snowboarder (one of the best; the Olympics wants him to join their Russian team), he's super popular, he's wise, he's strong, he's faithful, he's Godly (it's a Christian fantasy novel; please don't make it weird), he's good to her, he is willing to wait for her until marriage before they sleep together, because she wants their relationship to be based on love, tenderness, reliability, and togetherness, and not sex. He's handsome, good-natured, and able to control himself when her hormones get all out of whack after she's bitten by a werewolf. He cooks, he cleans, and he teaches her tips to improve her own cooking.
Deeper down, however, they both have some pretty heavy flaws.
One of hers is that she blames herself for everything, even though most of the negativity in her circumstances is due to things she cannot change.
He is loyal to a fault. He will jump in front of her to protect her from a supernatural threat, even though humans are much weaker than just about any of the Mythics. He'll go into a coven of vampires with nothing but a knife, a rope of garlic bulbs, and his Russian tenacity, and tell her he's here to help her. The man is an absolute LEGEND, but he puts himself in harms way, because he feels like that's his job. And while, yes, the man is meant to protect the woman, a woman can defend her man in some ways, and in this case, she's better suited for defending against supernatural threats, given that she is a supernatural being.
Hers is based in abuse.
His is based in not wanting to lose the person he's become so attached to, and be alone forever.
So...now my question is:
Are those good flaws, or should I mention other flaws they have?
This makes me feel so much better about my WIP, I'm not doing any of these for my main couple. Phew!
They say to write what you know about, which is probably why I’ve never been able to attempt romantic relationships in my literature. But this was definitely most helpful!
Ironically, Anthony and Kate from Bridgerton S2 do a lot of those "no-no's" (rarely ever alone, almost never touch, encourage other love interests, attraction at first sight, ... etc) and they're a very very popular and high chemistry pairing ! So I guess it depends on how it's written / those tropes are handled.
Mako and Raleigh from Pacific Rim is a very good example of building chemistry right, and they didn't even end up together
Then why do I remember that they ended up together? 😃
I mean you could still head canon that they get together. The only thing they don’t do is kiss at the end. They hug instead.
Because heteronormativity
@@yoonahkang7384 Pretty sure it's a straight coupling
@@billy_romeo I think they’re answering the question, “Why do I remember that they ended up together?”
The touch thing is nailed perfectly with Kanej in SoC duology. Their slow burn was literally outta this world and I don't think I've ever read anything with as strong sense of intimacy as the bathroom scene (ifykyk)
The thing is, they both have some sort of trauma connected to physical touch and it's just taken into account so beautifully, I was at loss of words while reading the books.
Leigh Bardugo did a phenomenal job with them.
15:00 Okay, but I wanna do a thing where I want to be obvious about wanting the audience to think that I’m forcing the MC with someone he DOESN’T have chemistry with, and making the audience think that the “love interest” and her actual love interest are just platonic buds when they have more chemistry, so I throw everyone for a loop when the MC is rejected and the girl he likes actually gets together with the person she has chemistry with.
My MC is doomed to be a sad single boy forever.
I hate when one of the characters really wrongs the other (abandoned them, cheats on them or even kills their family) and it's painted as "romantic " or something and then one of them nearly dies and the other needs to save them, but they never even talk about the issue!!!
Sometimes it can be good to bring a secondary character for the plot of attempting to break apart the couple who are strongly in love.
This can make things quite interesting especially when that secondary character becomes the type of an antagonist that has a crazed obsession to steal the man/woman from their lover. Depending how far that antagonist is willing to go.
Wanna make me stop rooting for a couple? Make the man say or do something out of character that upsets the woman and the woman doesn't question it. She just calls him a monster never wants to see him again and they start ghosting each other.
Bonus points if it’s overheard from a conversation with another character, with no context.
@@thatonepossum5766 ughhh I hate misunderstanding tropes. Especially when they don't make the woman listen to the man's explanation. Shrek already did this trope
Watch Jane ere. Mr rochester SUCKSSS
I would add to #6. They can indeed both be very good for each other and not have a conflict, while also being satisfying for the reader. One of them can help the other overcome a challenge, and the other can grow in the process. They do not have to be on opposite ends of a conflict.
3:18 so basically..."there's only one bed" will work every time 😂😂😂
Frieren breaks or at least bends most of these rules and the romance is quite good.
Frieren is nearly never alone with himmel, they rarely touch, they never directly addresses each other's flaws unless its lightly teasing one another, and he's dead most of the series. Yet, i hope they can work something out --if only letting her wish him permanent farewell.
*sniff* he ded :")
Also, one thing that kills any romance for me is when in a relationship, one of the characters tries to change their love interest to make them a better fit.
For example, A and B are dating but not yet in an official serious relationship. A notices something about B that A thinks is bad so A tries to talk B into changing this and B is just written to go along with it. Maybe there's even that ultimatum of "it's either you change, or this is over". This is just really a heavy killer that makes me really question why both of these characters are even dating each other.
There's always two in a relationship and what I just explained is exactly what I hate about a lot of romances, the guy always has to change for the woman, WHY? It doesn't make sense! Why does SHE get what she wants while the guy has to give up his true personality? Why does miss demandy-pants not need to change? Stuff like this always makes me furious.
Excellent film choices for examples. Take a look at "Six Days, Seven Nights," ...and add another winner of an example .
Do you know the name of the film with the woman in red who ended up in a trial? It looks interesting.
@@kaleigh_hill it's a TV show called Miss Scarlet and the Duke
@@serenenya6548 Thank you so much!
What about the one with the red headed woman at 3:30?
I'm about halfway into my first romance and they've found true love. Now is their moment for Happily Ever After. They'd better appreciate it, because I'm really going to put them through the wringer in the next chapter.
and number 3 I actually think can be executed well, in "call me by your name" both elio and oliver talk about their other love interests, chiara and marzia, but it doesn't kill any chemistry instead it makes it stronger
What also kills the whole chemistry is when for example the boy says to the girl things like: "I know you like me." and teases her with that. There's nothing romantic in that, it's just annoying and makes the character less likable because OF COURSE we all know that she likes him but if he points that out suddenly that excitement about their relationship vanishes.
As I am processing what you taught us today, I thought about a thriller and suspense, "who wants to kill the mayer this time and can we stop him in time?" book series by Tom Clancy that my ex owned. In the first three parts the MC and a colleague of his had a secret crush on eachother, light enough to be a subplot in that genre, but since can also not keep up the same secret crush for 30 books in a row(!), something had to happen with them, so in part 3 they finally kissed. And while Tom could still keep me awake, wondering who wanted to ɓomb city hall this time, the romantic subplot had become useless and boring. It didn't add to the story, because the change in their relationship... It was almost like the writer kept that subplot out of necessity or something... So I would say, as number 8: write this lovestory for a reason, let these people be together for a reason, convince us that the situation really needs these two together, if your romance is a subplot.
Ironically this helped me write two characters who appear to be potential love interests but are never meant to be
Thank you, Abbie! I've been a bit discouraged the past couple of weeks as I'm working on the first draft of my next book because my heroine lacks agency, and I know it's hard for readers to genuinely like characters who are passive. So this afternoon, I watched your 7 Deadly Romance Mistakes video and was instantly struck by #6. I see now that my characters need to challenge each other's faults and weaknesses, not only to raise the conflict and stakes, but also to provide proof of their individual agency. An added bonus is that when they challenge each other, it adds great depth to the romance, proving that they are truly coming to know each other instead of simply being infatuated. Now, I've got a few great scenes plotted out and am ready to let the sparks (of various natures) fly. Thanks for helping me figure this out!
Yeah about the falling in love in a short amount of time, I was thinking that Titanic. Probably a good structure to use on how to build that tension even if it happens during 3 days or something lol.
Yes good one! They were in that forced proximity on the ship but plenty of opportunities to share each others world, like when he took Rose below deck and she dances with him and his fellow cheapsiders and then also the ship was big enough for some ‘alone time’.
@@michellethornton7926 Yes! And then trying to survive together in a time of crisis sealed the deal.
Love at first sight!! ❤ (they're completely platonic but like they just met on a random summer day when they were 7 or smth and became besties)
14:56 how to friendzone a love rival. Just repeating the mistakes on purpose. Genius
Imo the most important thing that is needed in romance is character dynamics, eg: do they tease each other alot? Do they bicker alot? Do they get worried for each other easily? Etc etc.
This is so helpful, thank you! I’m working on trying to figure out my premise so the love interests are forced to be together. Maybe more tension is what I need. I’d love to see you break down famous fictional couples and explain why they work!
Rosalie & Emmitt- their love (story to me) crashed and burned when we learn that Rosalie hates vampire life. She tries to recover by saying how perfect he is for her etc but it feels like he's just a consolation prize when he views her & their life together as everything to him. I just never felt she loved him deeply.
Wasn’t a fan of Jane Austen before finding this channel, but here 4 yrs later… I’m starting to get excited about her work. 😭
You can have love at first sight, you just need obstacles to strengthen and then have or a conflict to challenge then the whole time, realistic, pragmatic inner conflicts, that challenges all angles like what life would be like or other people and situations that makes it plausible that they do belong together.
I laughed when you talked about eyes meeting across the room! I noticed a man across the room at the same time he noticed me and we have been together for 22 years since that night (in a bar, lol) July we will celebrate 20 years of marriage :)
I like the idea of them falling in love without becoming in love. As The story moves forward the relationship grows, but by the end of the story they are not quite there. You finish with them looking to the future, with the excitement they may have found the one. They go off hopeful but there is no certainty.
I think that Edmund and Fanny Price from the Mansfield Park novel by Jane Austen does exactly these 7 mistakes because of which Fanny's chemistry with Crawford looks and feels much better!
YES!!!!!OMG I was thniking the same thing! I was shipping Fanny with Henry the whole book, I didnt like her romance with Edmund at all, it felt so forced.
@@taylardotson8100 Yeah exactly! I don't understand the reason why Fanny had to end up with Edmund while Crawford did all the hard work to impress her like getting her older brother a suitable job and also visiting her in her poor family house.
Edmund's change of attitude towards Fanny at last felt like a last minute plot change:(
I was reading a romance with an undercover security expert protecting a material witness in a crime. The witness had gone mute due to her trauma. It was going great until he was in serious danger and she screamed out to save him. And suddenly they were in love with each other, despite up until that minute he was resistant to any love due to losing his wife before that assignment. No slow burn. Just, "it's my duty to protect her. but I reluctantly come anywhere near her," instantly to, "wow, what a nice voice. I can't be without her. Must be always near her." And the same with her. She was neutral to him, just wanting to be friends but resisting his presence around her all the time as she didn't want to feel scared (so admitting she needed a body guard was admitting she was scared). Then, suddenly, she is terrified to be alone without him once she saves his life. I was so disgusted that I put the book down. A week later, I tried again, re-read the last paragraph I'd read, got disgusted all over again and refuse to read any more. It had been a very good read until that. Very disappointing.
If you want to read something new in the romance genre, you must try Sobers Rodrigues' book "Mates". It's so amazing.
I just finished The Otherworld! 7 STAR BOOK!
@@ManicLandemier you can try Mates. It will revitalize ur own romance life.
What's the premise?
I don't like or read romance novels or watch many romance films, but most stories tend to feature some form of romance so a lot of this is stuff I learned either through practice or observation. I'm working on my second novel that's mystery/action, but a romance plays a keep plot element to the story so I figured I'd brush up. A lot of this is advice is very accurate, especially the "challenge each other's beliefs" and "touching" scenes, it really helps to build up that tension between the characters before they get to sexy stuff.
Yes! I'm working on a Warrior Cats fanfiction and I want to use the Internal Conflict and tips in this video for a romantic couple
Also show pain. Emotional pain brought on by a disagreement or cause by an external force can bring people together.
I heard a story about a wife that lost her husband during the Holocaust.
Also, there was yet, another man who lost his wife.
After the war, (both widowed,) they meet eachother and decided to marry. They had kids together and shared their joy and pain for the rest of their days.
Example
Modern romance doesn't have to be that tragic, but the point is, sadness can play a big part in making a couple believable and relatable.
Maybe in s more modern novel , you could have a man whose dad is sick and the man is grumpy all the time because it's stressful and he can't afford a caregiver. The women (love interest) maybe comes into conflict with the man and criticizes him being a grump, but when she learns why he's sad, she feels compation and even starts to help him.
This goes on for awhile, then they relize they have alot in common. Even the father starts to like her. In short, its a slow burn.
So, yeah, don't be afraid to show your lovers making mistakes or growing together and learning.
how did you KNOW I was searching for a video for chemistry the other day? Youre magical. MAGICAL.
Now, it makes sense why two of my characters felt boring together. They grew up together in a situation where they did not look elsewhere unless they had to, and it worked...but it was boring. It made much more sense to make them like close siblings since that was possible , too.
Could you do mockumentary tips ? Those are my favorite genre and i couldn’t know if you would take request . I would be happy in watching your videos again .
For ‘never or don’t constantly don’t have time alone together’ is the total UP for my two main romantic characters. The actual book is revolving around the main character, Sophie (female, eleven, mortal), and a mage she becomes friends with, Toby (male, eleven, mage) when she stumbles into a different dimension.
They stumble upon others and are mostly seen as friends for the entire first book, but during their journey to find ‘the frequency’, which is the drama, they spend all their time alone together.
In the first book, Sophie only sees Toby as a companion in the actual writing, though her actions prove otherwise. She has major trust issues and is new to this world, and she doesn’t typically show any affection. But sometimes, she’ll protect Toby from monsters, defend him or stay loyal to him during troublesome people moments, or she’ll just do small little protective details, such as:
Example one: (Toby has light magic as his mage power) Toby offers to cast the light instead of her using her flashlight, in case she needs it when they split. Sophie snaps that she can use the flashlight and she’ll be fine, making the point, ‘I doubt you’d even last a minute’, not as her seeing him as weak, but her worrying about his limits and how he might need to defend himself in future moments.
Example two: Toby gives Sophie, since she has no powers, instead weapons choices. She takes her share and they continue on their adventure, after Toby pays for the weapons with his own money (which he needs and has been saving up for personal reasons, but point still stands). They run into an opponent with some sort of ‘sneak power’ (animals or creatures has a wider verity for powers than mages) and they get snuck up on. Sophie uses her weapons, though struggling as she’d just got them, and defends Toby, not watching her own back. Toby quickly backs her up, mostly since he’s a total sweetheart and golden retriever boy.
For Toby, he at first sees Sophie as a pretty girl and develops a small ‘crush’, but he doesn’t actually like her romantically yet. He’s just never had a friend before and doesn’t talk to many females, and he’s never met someone from another dimension and finds her incredibly interesting. He thinks he has a crush on her for a small amount of time before he realizes she won’t like him back and they’re better off as friends (this does affect their future romantic relationship).
OH NO. This video made me REALLY stressed about my two main characters! They don't constantly have alone time, but when they do, they touch each other and get productive in their relationship's chemistry.
However, I'm realizing that they liked each other as soon as they met (not love at first sight though) because FMC saved MMC. The latter lacking self-confidence and trusted friends, he immediately gets attached to FMC in a sort of pathetic way (because he quickly becomes enamored with those who show support to him), but then, he slowly learns more about her and gets genuinely attached to her in a loving way.
Is this interesting if two characters like each other from the start? Like, the opposite of *enemies*-to-lovers?
in my opinion, i think it can still be interesting! enemies to lovers is popular because the conflict is naturally baked into the dynamic, but not every good romance needs to be enemies to lovers! they can have personal flaws or external issues they need to work through to be together, even if they like each other! like maybe the FMC is scared to let others rely on her because of a previous experience in her life, but she's still drawn to MMC and it creates a push and pull between them as he learns to be more self-confident. or maybe they want to be together but they need to solve an external obstacle. the point is, i think you can still tell a compelling story where characters push each other to grow and like each other at the same time - write the story that appeals to you! :3
I think that's totally fine! In real life, people can fall in love quickly, especially if their life is saved.
Not every relationship needs to be enemies to lovers. Yeah sometimes there is something from the start. Not insta love, but rather something that makes one of the characters or two of them to take liking in each other that turns to love under some circumstances. So imo it's totally fine! Just make the relationship interesting and believable.
That is friends to lovers. It can start as a casual friendship or a “kindred spirit” friendship without being a coup de foudre. Or there can be an instant attraction that dies down a lot & just simmers in the background. Both work.
Sounds good to me
I don't think you always have to follow any advice down to every detail. There's always room for experiments and stuff.
In my main story i'm writing (i write a lot simultaneously..) it's not really "enemy" to lovers. Yes the guy is cold and distant at first, and acts annoyed etc. But the MC quickly notices this is just a mask he's hiding behind, as otherwise his behaviour contradicts this "leave me alone" attitude (for example, him helping her up when she falls, even asking if she got hurt). Also my MC doesn't act mean towards him, she's always being nice and polite to him even when he tells her to leave him alone or that his problems are none of her business, because she knows he's only putting on an act by that point. And yeah, they quickly find they have a lot in common and my MC wants to be friends, especially since they live in the same house (shared living) and she generally wants to get along with everyone. But seeing their similarities, they do get friendly with each other quick and I suppose you can notice the chemistry between them very early, but they do not like, immediatly fall in love or something, it's just that both of them feel that certain something between them and that's what makes the guy open up to the MC and what makes the MC choose to help him regardless of his behaviour. I plan to address that later on in the story.
7:48 my partner-in-crime and I don’t touch a lot because he’s haphephobic (afraid of touch)
Abbey sort of looks like Elizabeth Bennet, is that just me? Great video as always!!! 💚✨
😱Wait she does and I love it! ❤
Hearing these, I'm thinking on this romance webseries I am reading called Letters of Marque, and how it avoids all of these. By chapter 3, we know the two main characters are going to get together, but the story takes the time to build the relationship between the two, there is lots of handholding, and open communication between them is early and often. It is a delightful story, because the main characters don't realize their feelings for quite a long time.
Ok im not sure if u have read it but MXTX's grandmaster of demonic cultivation has one of the most natural romantic progressions ever and tis absolutely beautiful
To me a big relationship killer is the "will they won't they" trope. If its done for a short time I don't mind it (even if it rarely adds to the story and it's more often than not a cheap way to stretch it), but when characters keep making forced mistakes just for the sake of pulling a "will they won't they" plot, I end so fed up with it I no longer care about the relationship, even if it could have been good.
No matter what the outcome is and how quickly or slowly you get there, there's not reason to keep fooling the audience instead of actually commiting
I’m not sure inverting these tips works to friendzone a character - because some of these would destroy both romantic and friendship chemistry. For example, characters who are friends should challenge each other on their faults and weaknesses, too - and can sometimes even do so more liberally than romantic partners. That’s where most friendly banter arises from. A friend who doesn’t challenge the protagonist isn’t even a sidekick, they’re just a servant. (This is the reason why a lot of Terry Goodkind’s supporting characters fall flat, because the main thing they do is support the protagonist, who is usually framed as “right”.)
Conversely, I don’t want to turn other characters into a-holes, by having them fight all the time, just to prevent readers from shipping them. Notably, a lot of writers get the “more conflict” mantra wrong, and have characters fight furiously over petty things - rather than having them politely disagree on fundamental issues (like in Star Trek). The latter is where the actually interesting conflict lies. The former is just b*tching around, and potentially a sign of narcissism. In the age of social media, more and more people seem to struggle distinguishing between these two types of conflict.
The thing separate friend and lover are just how they approach physical touch. Maybe what she meant is let them "genuinely tease the other potential date " advice
When I first tried making romance, people have been drawn to my ships. I didn't realize it was because these mistakes were being avoided. But now that I know for sure, I can focus more on some of the main ships of my characters. Find more creative ways to interact with them, but also keep the chemistry more realistic by giving a journey that helps them grow together while they also learn to grow on their own as they would expect to do most of the time. But the romantic portion of my story is very delicate so it's good to learn these tips so I can handle the romance very carefully.
The last thing we want to do is send a bad message to the world that can drive a reader to make those mistakes in real life and ruin, not just romance, but heck, even marriages.
For #3, just want to say, this can be a fine and legit thing if it's in a polyamorous relationship. I'm polyamorous, and my partners and I would love teasing each other about potential love interests 😂
At one point you said no reaction would come from mixing the same thing with the same thing (which makes perfect sense)
But I also think there can be exceptions (like with all things)
Like I have two characters (in a pairing) that both are bad at admitting what they want and taking active steps to that BUT for different reasons
4:29 Why was my first thought Romeo and Juliet...?
I just wanted to comment to thank you for making videos like this and for free! I always go to my English teachers asking for advice but they're not available 24/7 so thank you for making videos like this, so young writers like me can catch our mistakes and fix them so down the line our writing is as best as can be!
Very nice and insightful video, thank you for this. For my most disliked romance killer I would have to say it is when one character very eary on shares a very intimate dark secret, a serious weakness or vulnerability with his or her love interest. This immediately makes me feel it is going to be an abusive relationship, the person will use their own vulnerability as a weapon to gain power over the victim, to guilt-shame the poor person into a relationship and will never let them have a say in any matter in a most cringy manipulative way as in "I trusted you with my secret and now you use it to hurt me!".
Really... it's annoying when one of the two (usually the male character) abuses the other at the first meeting using a secret or a vulnerability of his as a threat, the author does everything to make the relationship obviously toxic from the beginning and in many cases one of the two characters in his thoughts describes it as an abuse, but all this doesn't count for anything in the end, it turns out that the victim starts to feel pleasure and they will end up together forgetting and never naming the things that happened in the past.
@Anniee-v1g Wow, a very good one, I did not think of that. It make me think a little and I've realised I've missed the biggest turn-off possible: when the plot revolves around one person (almost always a male) holding his love interest in some sort of hostage situation against her will. He loves her in a clearly abusive way and yet somehow she is drawn to that man and falls for him anyway. This is so wrong on so many levels. Basically "Beauty & the Beast" trope - the most cringy fairy tale ever written.
Another one that makes me die inside a little bit is a Hollywood invention of making a sex scene "hotter" :exaggerated eye roll: by having the lovers lunge at each other like starving dogs, throwing each other against the walls and furniture like they were fighting. Add to that the scowling faces with bared teeth. Having spent 16 years of my life in the ring I am well versed to violence, I like a good scrap any day of the week, but a mere thought of someone hurting a person they care about makes me turn the screen off / drop the book.
I have the habbit of always putting a "troubled guy finds salvation in a girl" relationship in my little stories. In whatever fashion.
This list really helps me out a lot, thank you very much!
Interesting that many of these tips can work in real-life relationships:
1. Try to spend a lot of time together
2. Don't be blinded by love. You should never make vital decisions, like dating, on a whim
3. Teasing each other about other's love interest can be a huge dealbreaker. Try not to live in the past.
4. Physical touch is vital to keep a relationship going, especially marriage. HOWEVER, be mindful about physical touches. Physical touch, like holding hands or kissing, is the glue that sticks two people together. Especially 'exploring each other's bodies'. Both of you will be unforgettable in each other's mind because of the intimate thing you share together. And this also works when you are dating the wrong person!
5. If you get sick of each other after a while, that's a good sign your relationship is not working.
6. Most of the time, if you're in a relationship, your weaknesses will be put on a magnifying glass. Sometimes, this is a good sign, because the more intimate you get, the relationship will pull out the "real you" and it allows you to be vulnerable with each other.
7. You shouldn't cheat. That should be self-explanatory.
I'm stunned by the amount of romances I've read where the hero and heroine barely spend any time together. I read one in which the hero was trying to hide the fact that his child was the one the heroine gave up for adoption, and spent the whole book avoiding her. The fact they ended up together actually made me feel sick!
Abbie, you're a genius! I don't know if you know telepathy, but you bring out videos at the EXACT MOMENT we need them!
I only have one question - what if you're writing long distance relationships where the characters are NOT able to be together because of other bonds? How can you adhere to proximity in this case?
You ain't lying lol I'm writing a story of a French succubus falling in love with an American human this video came out of nowhere. Taking her advice is great. so far I haven't messed up any of that. I'm trying to weave the supernatural elements into their connection since it's different from regular people talking and falling for each other... I'm having a lot of fun. 😊
From what I know, what I understood from your comment, and based on my unasked-for opinion, you should turn the distance into a real, daily, emotional issue for your characters, especially if they need this lovey-dovey physical contact in their couple. Since you can't have literal proximity between them, you should show a figurative one where they yearn for each other.
If you want them to stay together for the entirety of your story, then internal conflict is the key. Make them suffer inside because of the distance (and maybe because of others' teasing, taunting, or even personal feelings for the two characters in question). If you want their relationship to last, then they must occasionally think of one another. Let them be reminded of their partner when they see a place where they had spent time together, hear a song that the other likes, stare longingly at a picture of them before rising from bed/after work, etc. Just little things in their routine that prove they cherish the other character.
Additionally, they should somehow keep contact with one another, lest their feelings evaporate (it's human nature to turn to someone else when we miss the one we want). Let one character write a letter/text their beloved sometimes, and show how much the latter is happy/how their heart flutters at that small gesture. Let that special communication be the other's engine, the fifth wheel that keeps them afloat in dark times. The less frequently they'll communicate with each other, the more precious a message from them will be.
Dunno if I said anything interesting, but hope it helped.
@ivystead
OMG THIS IS ITTTT. My couple does have problems with the distance because one of them is military and uk how that turns out.
But this could actually help a lot!!!!
Thanks so much!!!
I reckon you could solve this problem by having them think about the other constantly, and have it be known that they talk often. You could showcase their chemistry through a featured conversation. Have them think deeply about the other, ask questions, imagine being with them
There’s always the “We were on the phone foe 3 hours & I can’t remember anything we said, but it was great” style of proximity. Physical proximity makes it easier, but emotional time together can do the job if it’s done well.
I know it's not "officially" part of the list, but that last thing you said I think is the single best piece of advice for romance writing in any genre; it should never, ever, EVER be forced. If your two leads don't seem like they should be together for whatever reason, don't have them be together. Not every story needs a romantic subplot (unless it is a romance obviously), and not every romance has to be between the two main characters. If a romance does work between the two mains and makes sense in the story, then by all means keep it; but if your romance doesn't add anything to the story or the characters, and doesn't occur naturally, and is only there because "everyone knows you pair up the two leads together" then for God's sake cut it.
A perfect example is ATLA; Aang and Katara seem pre-determined to have a romance subplot literally from the off because he's the protagonist and she's the lead female character, but it feels incredibly out of place because they have no chemistry as a couple and it comes off as forced. Meanwhile, the "B" romance storyline of Sokka with Yue and Suki is far more engaging because there is chemistry and it feels like a natural evolution of the story, rather than because the writers felt compelled to give him a romance story.
TLDR, only include romance where/if it makes sense. If that means it's between the two leads, one of the leads and a supporting character, a non-protagonist major character and a supporting character, or even if it means no romance at all. Whatever makes sense for your story
In a short story the characters could have a back story together, work mates, school buddies and take the next step in the story.
I had a "love at first sight" moment with a girl, and... yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.
Breaking up with her 5+ years later shattered my entire Identity.
Yo Abbie, great tips, but what if one character already has a crush on another, and it’s about the other character falling in love with the first one (kinda like marinette and Adrien from miraculous, but better written) how would I write that?
Not Abbie, but may I ask whose POV it would be from? And I think it would be really cute if the crushing character just kept doing nice things and being a great friend to the other character who slowly starts to fall for the other.
@@HelloD-n1n I mean, this is side character romance, but ty anyway
It's not a mistake but i do love it when you focus less on the "romantic relationship" of character and more on it being too people who care for each other deeply. I feel like sometimes writers can focus heavily on flirty iconic moments and forget to have small simple things. It can be big romantic moments but make sure to focus on small things too, if a character is anxious and their partners knows this maybe put it in their relationship to hold each others hand subconsciously for support. Small moments like this can prove they care of each other outside of being a romantic relationship.
Honestly I kinda like the trope of chasing the wrong person for the longest time then only realizing how so much better they'd be with the person who really has the true chemistry with them. Mainly because once they see the other person as the one you just can't help but get exited that they finally see beyond the superficial part of love and see that this person is the friend that they deserve for life
I can share one example for the second rule: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Both of the main characters fell in love at first sight. However, their love was mysterious, magical, and also painful. I think the plot would have struggled significantly if Mikhail Bulgakov had decided to take a different approach.
So, I had a situation where a vice president tried to kiss my mc. She shut him down. I also have two side character's in my current story. Thanks again Abbie
These are truly some beyond amazing advice for writers.I thank you for these special tips
Wasn't the "helping hand" in the carriage scene an improv by the actor? I'm sure I've read it somewhere. Jane Austen is my favourite author, but there is a lack of accidental touches in her books 😅
True, the social mores of the Regency period were pretty strict about when it was acceptable to touch someone of the opposite sex. Probably why dancing was so popular 😉. The film/TV adaptations of Austen's books can either find or add opportunities to show the characters touching, but poor Jane herself had to rely almost entirely on verbal chemistry--good thing she excelled at it!
True, put on a glove at least, man!
Lol @ abbie for not having read the book and just watched it instead.
@@michellethornton7926yes! That is why I point to the 1995 version of P&P! Elizabeth Bennet had gloves on, as she was being proper, Darcy was not because he’s home and so that hand hold into the carriage? So much better than the Keira Knightley version. The movie doesn’t make me swoon like the 1995 version.
His helping her into the carriage was not improv, but his stretching out his hand was. The actor got a cramp and stretched his hand out, and the director zoomed in on the shot.
And every 'don't' on this list can be a do in satire or when done well etc :)
I think to 2, the 'no love on first sight', I'd add the sub-point of 'don't make one fall in love after being rescued' in one way or another. Seriously. "He saved me from those bullies/monsters/whatever, he is so amazing!" is just ... no. It really appeals to (mostly male) readers. It's not just a trope. I believe it's called the 'knight in shining armor' syndrome?
So for my couple of characters :
- They spend much time together
- They fall in love... A little to quickly so i will change that 😅
- They never tease eachother like that
- They are touching themselves very often 😂
- They are not sick of eachothers
- They are always challenging eachothers like this
- And no, there chemistry is unique so...
Okay, thanks for this video, it's very helpfull !
Well, in a movie, there's only a couple of hours,so the falling in love has to be quick.
I never knew how helpful this was to me. Thank you!
A kind of romance that I've recently discovered could be interesting to write is when two people who should hate each other because their personalities are so different, actually meet and find each other's differences intriguing and it balances them out. This leads them to become friends but of course it isn't easy, due to them being so different. So they need to be mature and find a way to compromise.
actually, the first 'problem' can be used to create a situation of conflict. the two characters at the beginning get along well and starts developing feelings but suddenly they are forced to be apart, busy with their own problems and situations to be together. Even juicier if its only one of the characters who is unable to meet up. in the end the other character just explodes, asking "what happened why did you get so distant?!" creating conflict which they could overcome by communicating!
even problems can be bent and used properly and turned into a good plot addition!
4:25 this is like, Romeo and Juliet’s relationship in a nutshell. xD
Yeah, well, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, not a romance. I'm fairly sure it was supposed to be recognized as teenagers being over the stop and dramatic.
Oh my god, thank you. Now I know why some stories I read have good story and everything but I still feel disappointed somehow.
Like how the male is always prevents the female being in trouble behind the scene but even if it happens he is one step behind that some else saves her just to come and collect her from the saviour , like bodyguard or friend. Just kind of disappointing
Thank you so much for the tips