The worst romantic tension killer for me is when the MC goes on and on about how hot the Love Interest is. Like sure, he's hot, but what other good qualities does he have?
Ugh hate that Trying to make absolutely sure my OTP OCs think more about things other than "oh my goodness they're so hot, cute, etc" like "he's so supportive" and "she's so talented"
Teenager types often care about looks more, or they get fooled by 'the bad boy' who has more confidence than he should. So, it makes perfect sense that some types care greatly about that.
@@PaigeTheCartoonCaptain that's way more interesting! I don't mind a few phrases like "He looked handsome there standing in the sunlight." But when they start talking about abs, and tight jeans and other body parts, I just glaze over. A superficial MC is a boring MC, in my opinion.
1- Never or rarely have time alone together 3- They fall in love to quickly 3- Tease each other about other potencial love interest 4- They never touch 5- They get sick of each other after a while 6- They don’t challengers each other faults and weaknesses 7- They have romantic chemistry with other’s characters
#1--there could be a plot reason for this or any other of the characteristics, particularly in dystopian tales. If there's not, though, yes, mistakes were made.
@@x-mighty7602 Reader demographic decides, I guess. Women readers only want one man love interest, while men readers like to have many female options, maybe?
The worst mistake for me in writing romantic chemistry is sacrificing authenticity for the sake of plot convenience or adhering to romantic tropes without adding depth or originality to the relationship
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well Abby may be better suited to respond than me personally lol. But I suggest incorporating a romance subplot into your story by crafting complex, multi-dimensional characters with morally gray motivations (what works for me best personally) Make sure to build the romance gradually, introducing obstacles and conflicts that challenge the relationship, while utilizing the atmosphere to enhance emotional depth. Avoid clichés also, balance the subplot with the main plot, and aim for a realistic resolution that resonates with readers. Focus on themes of love, sacrifice, trust, and redemption to add depth and intensity to the romantic relationship within the broader narrative. These are just a few things that come to mind
@@KGBeast. my book is a retelling of The Lion King In addition, I borrow elements from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which features Titania and Oberon, the queen and king of the fairies respectively Late into the book, I feature a somewhat explicit lovemaking scene, followed by my female protagonist murdering her love interest due to her inner corruption and trauma, pushed to doing it by a malevolent magic sword
@@unicorntomboy9736 Ok that sounds interesting not gonna lie, interested to see how you go about reworking the themes and ideas of the original story into those of your own
Thank you. I’m currently working with an indie team as an editor for a game jam and that is one gripe I have with it. I don’t get it. There’s 5 writers and me and only 1 writer and myself want genuine relationships it feels like between the characters. Everyone else just wants them to kiss or flirt. To me it really is boring, pointless. I don’t feel anything at all unless there’s a genuine meaningful connection.
One thing that kills romance for me is when they fall madly in love and have nothing in common. Theres absolutely no reason why they should fall in love yet they are suddenly in love. There has to be a connection between the two people in order for their romance to withstand the stories conflict. Another thing that kills me is when one character does something truly messed up to the other character and it’s forgiven in the end because they are SO in love. That’s an instant killer for me
Some people are very impulsive, low impulse control. I even knew a husband and wife who got married very quickly and are the rare couple who are actually a good match.
This is almost going to happen in my book, a young, eager officer will wish he had chemistry with my tough-as-nails female starship captain, but his confession of true love will only make her furious. Then, he'll complicate the plot by running away to prove himself with brave deeds.
I agree! And with your first statement, its 100%worst when the only connection is that they both love a child they are caring for. This can work, but not if the child is they only thing the couple has in common, it's ridiculous
@@LeviathantheMightyyeah, a rare exception probably, because I don’t know any couple that did what you comment. Every couple I know actually took time to be together together. And they are fine. But what you say, I never saw.
I would also add just make them enjoy each others company in non-romantic ways. When the author shows the two love interests just having fun with each other doing something thats not romantic, it solidifies that they are truly well placed. Like if they share a passion for investigation and do it together. Or maybe they are both mages and work together to make their magic stronger. Idk, hopefully that makes sense.
THANK you for saying this. I can’t stand it when as soon as the two get together it’s nothing but making out or seggs, even while they’re having conversations they should be having seriously. It’s honestly one of my biggest peeves and can cause me to DNF.
I totally understand and I fully agree. A relationship builds out of mutual interest. My characters both are avid gamers and share their downtime together doing that because it A. Strengthens their bond by giving them more time together outside of daily life, B. Gives them something to continue discussions about throughout the story, C. Establishes that they really are best friends not just buddies. They spend almost all their time together and are attracted to each other, hence romance builds. If you don't have some way you can see character 1 wanting to be with character 2 at literally all points in time, why do you think something as deep and personal as romance would ever bud? They don't have to share literally everything, but one or two things they are doing together or constantly talking with each other about to build upon that thing makes a world of difference.
I don't know, i think an interest in someone else can be the entire reason someone hangs out with another. Rather, i think that most of the time, when two characters are romantic interests, thats ALL they are, which detracts from the relationship aspect of two characters. That is to say, teo people can share no interests, but are interested enough in each other to at least try to interact with each other anyway. If you get what i mean
Hot take: being sick of each other is completely normal and can actually strengthen a relationship. It provides another hurdle to move past. I did not immediately love everything about how my husband lived his life and there were times where little stuff he did made me upset or annoyed. And vice versa, spend TOO long with someone and you eventually find SOMETHING you don’t agree or like about one another. BUT you can absolutely use this as a plot device and strengthen their bond by having them fight and then compromise, just like what happens in real life. Real love takes WORK and gets easier with time. Been with him 9 years now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and he is my muse ❤
I think that what you're saying relates to her point of having conflict to make the chemistry grow. If they are sick of each other for no reason, just because they have been spending a little too much time together, that kills romantic chemistry. But if there is a conflict, of course they're going to be sick of each other- but they can solve that conflict and grow together.
There is a difference between what may work in real life and what works in a romance book. What readers are looking for in romance often is a form of escapism. No offence but I don't want to read a book about a couple who work through a guy's tendency to take his gf for granted and relies on weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores or something. Sure it's VERY realistic, but damn, where's the fun? Not all conflicts are created equals, when you're reading fiction. Some will make you want to help characters grow, and some will make you wish they die sooner than later. You have to be very careful with the amount of realism you put in a romance. If the readers start hating a character, it's over.
@@blumeshullman8002 okay I agree, what I’m talking about is a very fine line where the conflict between two love interests is each other sometimes. Ex: Stranded together is a very popular trope and I’m saying that it might be fine at first if a couple has shown interest in each other but as time goes on the get sick of each other until they realize this fight is petty, they love each other and need to work together to get un-stranded. Perhaps girl gets sick of a reaction to something she says a lot, and it turns out boys’ sister used to say the same thing before she betrayed their family, so now he resents it. They dismantle that not everyone who does that is bad and they grow and move on, having learned more about each others pasts in the process. It wouldn’t be fun if they just are puppy-love all the time, or the ONLY conflict is external forces. I’m not saying you have to include “being sick of each other” in your romance, but for me, it can be a tool, just like any other conflict.
I don't like reading that personally. To me, reality is for the day to day- it doesn't belong on my bookshelf. Fights are great but nitpicking after spending "too much time together" turns me all the way off in books.
What kills the romantic ship for me is usually when one person does most of the work in the relationship when the other simply doesn't invest as much thoughts or just stupid and never grows. I think it just won't work when two people develops at different pace, most of the time I started rooting for the one with most growth to move on and find better pair/be alone.
Same! I feel like if you love someone, you invest something into the relationship and don't let your partner do all the work in it. I always hate these kinds of relationships depicted in fictional work, it always makes me root for the one who doesn't do anything to just get dumped in the meanest way possible. Especially if they play prince/princess demandy-pants who's hard to impress and the other one has to win them over and proof their worthiness or some stupid sh*t. Just no.
So basically every romance written by man lol😂 and male MC always the person who "doesn't invest anything" while girl or girls are dancing around him in all ways possible 😭
@@olyabutorina6869Shonen anime be like, specially written by a dude; weird cases were the romance its actually well work it turns out the mangaka was a woman (like Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist)
@@olyabutorina6869interestingly, in my experience the character who gives it all in the relationships I’ve read/seen is the man. The woman in some romances for some reason expects to be treated like a princess yet gives hardly any interest in loving the man. It’s so strange to me. It’s like they loved being loved rather than loving the actual man. But that might just be bad luck with the dynamics I’ve read unfortunately!
True! I am sick of all those "prove me your love"-character (mostly girls) while they never invest anything into the relationship. That's not even how real relationships work..
You can have an amazing romance between characters with no spice whatsoever, but spice without romance is erotica and fulfills a completely different fantasy. Both are fine to write, and the audiences often overlap and cross over, but writers need to be cognizant of which one they are writing.
When a character is obsessed with the idea of love itself and notion of being in love, I become dubious and sceptical of their love interests... as it's less about the chemistry and more about the character's own erotomania. That's one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet is so great: she establishes her credentials as grounded, clear-headed and self-aware so that as the love develops we can trust that she's not just a fantasist. It's ironic that, at least as far my tastes go, writers who are obsessed with love must write characters that aren't in order to convey a powerful love story.
you know, this comment helped me realize why a lot of people didn't like one of the romances in a show I liked when I did like it. I personally liked that romance, but that WAS a trait of one of the characters. I didn't even realize this was a thing so thanks 👍
I love this! I also like when there’s a specific reason why characters fall in love because it conveys that they wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. For example, in my favorite musical Hadestown, Eurydice falls in love with Orpheus because his unwavering faith and optimism make her feel supported, safe, and hopeful. Nobody else could’ve done that for her. It makes it so much more tragic then when he betrays her trust and sends her back to the underworld, because we know she’s never finding that feeling of safety again with anyone else.
My thing is when a character DELIBERATELY destroys something/someone the other character loves just to see them suffer. Maybe it's bc I hold grudges, but it's just sickening to me. Not only is it insanely hard to redeem that character later on, but it's hard to see the two together without viewing the scene under a veil of toxicity. If it's on accident? Yes. Give me all the angst.
Yeah. Honestly, even when it’s an accident, unless it’s properly addressed, I’d still be mad. I hate it when things are just swept under the rug because someone says sorry or feels bad. Clearly they don’t need to somehow undo it or fix things completely, but there still needs to be a proper attempt to make things right.
IKRR My biggest pet peeve on romance, even fanfics, makes me abandon immediately it's when they just make the love interest IMPOSSIBLE to redeem. By starters, i never forget so that's just me, I'm a believer that there are some things where even if I forgive, we just can't go back. When they cheat, or even do something they know will hurt the MC i just can't, and even worst when it's done poorly, used for shock value or stretching the story or forced to create conflict and gives you this unsatisfation. An example of this is every Colleen Hoover ever.
Massive agree on "it's insanely hard to redeem that character later on." Dynamics like that *can* work, but it can *only* work if the author puts in the effort to, and is willing to handle the slow-burn with tact. Rushing it just leaves the toxic/abusive taste in any reader's mouth. But giving it the time it needs for the asshole character to not only realize how much they screwed up, but make amends and change as best they can, and *earn* that other character's love and trust again? Chef's kiss. Redemption without introspection and growth is just a shiny "good job" sticker slapped on, nothing more.
You are right, but I'd like to add that the opposite can make the romance much sweeter. By that, I mean when something important one of the characters had was destroyed, so the other character makes something themselves to replace it. Even better if this thing reflects some of the skills and personality of this other character. For example: in the fanfic I'm writing (I'm working on an original book too but this one's about the fic) the recurve bow of character A breaks in a fight and can't be repaired. A is really sad about it because it was family heirloom from his late grandfather. Character B sees this, and so he makes him a sort of compound bow. He's s very much into engineering so it makes sense that with some research he can do it. He gives it to A, who, even though the original bow can't be replaced, is extremely happy. A tightly hugs B (even though he's usually not into too much phisical contact), and that's probably when he realises he's s in love with him. I hope this makes sense😅
One thing in my opinion that kills a ship is they fight waaay to much. Sure, disagreements is important when writing ships. BUT it only works if the characters WORK through the conflict. Arguments in fictional ships build chemistry BUT only to a certain point. When you have two characters arguing and having an on and off relationship it becomes toxic and not fun to watch or read about.
Real I'm all in for a rivals to lovers, so I enjoy a lot those fights; but I 100% agree that it's different to build a dynamic like rivals, and have them fight over EVERY LITTLE THING, even worse when the fight is about something one of the characters deeply cares about, and they never do something to make up to that. It becomes stressful.
Also for the arguments to not overtake the relationship of the characters the author needs to balance the fighting moments with sweet moments between the two characters, that shows there bond and adds complexity and emotional wait to there arguments and fights, these is the secret why angst is so addictive because you know why the relationship is important for the two characters but they can't help but argue with each other due to misunderstandings etc. If the only thing they do 24/7 is argue then why are you even writing a relationship at all? Create sweet, and funny moments between two characters to make the character dynamic fun as well as complicated, rather then just 1 dimensional arguing.
"When they tease ease other about other love interests" - that can set up a fun twist. Character A is convinced that B couldn't possibly love them so A tries to set them up with C because C is "far more worthy" of B. B mistakes the attempted matchmaking as A being disinterested and tries to settle for C despite loving A.
Another reason: Conversations not being deep enough. I mean, sure, you can have both characters in a stage with both of them alone after some conflict or situation they just went through together but, sometimes we have this... shallow conversations, characters almost asking each other hows the weather and then, after two of these situations, boom! They´re in love and its like... N-no? You barely know them, everything we know about both characters is what they've revealed us through their own thoughts, but they've NEVER talk about themselves with each other? What do they have in common? Whats their dreams and motivations? Do you share anything else besides vicarious passion?? Please, make you characters have DEEPER CONVERSATIONS!!!
7:49 I think I don't agree with this one that much, because there are characters that do not like touch, and I think showing respect for that boundary can be more romantic than "but they would do it for this person"
This, Too much touch can also come across as manipulative, like the character is trying to force a connection. It's creep behavior if it isn't reciprocal.
I thought of this because some of my characters are like this. You could work around this by making the love interest the person who respects their boundaries the most! Instead of them being the duo that touch the most, they’re the duo that touch the least. Maybe if one character is touchy and the other isn’t the touchy one can learn over time.
This is actually an important factor with one of my main characters. They have some degree of Haphephobia (fear of touch), usually only able to manage a handshake, and only because they spent ages pushing themselves until they could. But it's an important point with a character they become involved with that they over time build enough trust to allow a bit more touch. But what's important, besides the other person respecting the boundary, is that this is very slow, and happens in baby steps. It's not like they just magically are okay with all touch from this person all at once, or even every time. The building of trust means things like they flinch less if that person manages to touch their arm, and that they would even allow that as a sign of comfort, but at no point will they ever completely not flinch at the initial contact. Because it's a trauma response, a reaction, and while it can lessen, it isn't going to just poof away. Also, even when the other person does earn a lot of trust, it's not all or nothing every time. Even if it's their partner, there's still days where a pat on the back is the extent of what they could handle. But, the fact there's progress over time, and that trust is such a big part of it all, does make it feel earned when the person is allowed a bit more touch, and it means more.
My 'Notify me' button is broken! fun right? Can someone reply to this comment when it premieres? Thank you in advance! Edit: ty all who tried to remind me I ended up sleeping through it 😅
The worst romantic killer for me is if the boy is doing the action and the girl is only supporting/watching/ agreeing with the boy. For example, the girl goes with the boy and the boy does some kind of activity and the girl just watches instead of joining in. (Unfortunately, this happens far too often)
In Chinese Historical Fantasy novels, there is a deliberate thing, called Second Male Lead Syndrome. It's on purpose. It's when the secondary male is so good with the Female Lead, that you wish they would ditch the actual Male Lead for the secondary. If you ever want to rant about a girl being with the wrong guy, read the Chinese novel Chaos of Beauty. I swear it was those interactions with the Secondary ML that kept me turning the pages. I hated, and still hate the Male Lead. However, I will say if you write a better love interest you only have two ways to go, messy divorce to be with the other person, or terrible tragedy. So, while I agree with most of the advice, sometimes that secondary character being better has plot potential. At the very least if you break your reader's hearts and crush their 'ship' they will remember your novel for years to come.
Experienced that with a certain Kdrama and was crushed. Oh my goodness everyone in my family loved the male lead and hated the second male lead I wanted to stab someone. The first guy: Boring, the senior, took her on a date that was only about things he liked, no flaws or character development, only good thing he did was jump in front of a knife that was aimed at the MC The second male lead: Took her on a date about things she liked, googled up how to impress a date cuz he was nervous, joined a club because of her, befriended her brother and they became absolute besties and he helped him a lot, learned what it was like to fall in love and care about someone other than himself
I'm writing a young, eager male character who wishes he was the second male lead, instead my tough-as-nails female starship captain will have a friends-with-benefits situation with an exotic alien leading his oppressed people to a new planet. The eager guy will complicate the epic journey by running off to prove himself with brave deeds...
That's like most of Nicolas Sparks' novels. Hated 'The Choice' cause the female lead had an affair with her neighbour who she just met while her fiance was on a two week trip. And we're supposed to root for this new relationship?
I've read an awful lot of romance stories where one of the couple is abusive towards the other from beginning to end, and it's never treated as a problem, because the author doesn't see it as a problem. Fastest way to get me to check out. I'll never root for an abusive relationship, neither in reality nor fiction. Doesn't matter how good the couple's chemistry is outside the moments of abuse.
Fullmetal Alchemist has possibly the most impressive romances I have seen. Because I am a shipper, I am a navy captain over my fleet of ships. But FMA makes me root for every single one of the canon ships, and I don't root for any other ship. I usually think the love interest is more interesting with one of the side characters, but FMA just manages it, I don't know how.
shippers are the reason why I do not engage with fandom of most series/books. Their ships are ridiculous, often going against author's original plot and they are more often than not just insanely stupid and unrelatable. It's like putting random fabrics together and insisting they work together, because you've decided to dismiss 99% character traits of the given character for the ship's sake. :/ Huge nope.
@@marikothecheetah9342 But they're so cute! In all seriousness, I can understand where you're coming from to some degree. One of the reasons I don't like the anime Fairy Tail anymore is because of the shipping. The author either wants to appease or torment all of the shippers so he keeps throwing bait to multiple ships just to keep the ship wars alive. It made the characters feel inconsistent and like they had little will of their own. Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great.
@@missedthebandwagon976 "Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great." 'fun imagining two characters? Are they their characters? if they want they can write/draw their own characters and ship them to their hearts' content. But it pisses me off that I can't enjoy watching anime, because people no longer care about the story, but they care about ships and ignore everything about characters, including their sexual orientation. :/ If I published anything and saw ANY shipping of my characters that I don't like as an author - I'd sue the asses of those fans like there's no freaking tomorrow. I'd rather have 1 fan that respects my work, than somebody who feels that they can take my hard work and characters I created and treat them like their own. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 honestly, I think your opinion kills the magic of stories just as much as over shipping does. The beauty of stories is that you're engrossed in what happens, you get invested, you imagine. The most imaginative of us will picture out scenarios in their minds, they will get their own interpretation of the story. Just because people have an interpretation of your work that isn't the same as what you envisioned doesn't mean it's wrong. Now, if they started making fanfictions of your work, you could sue them, but I don't see why. It's basically free advertisement. Unless they're young teens, fanfic writers give credits to the source material and often respect the original creator. You do you, after all, but I think that depending on your audience, all this fan work could be good. People aren't necessarily treating characters as their own, in the sense that they give credits. They simply extrapolate on those characters and imagine stories too that they share. They don't get any money out of it, so I don't see the problem. The problem with toxic Fandoms is simply that the audience is full of brain dead people. Instead of paying tribute to the original work by nicely imagining stories, they with for their fantasies to actually be real, and it clashes with the fantasy of other people in the Fandom, and it gets annoying. Just make sure your audience isn't like My Hero Academia's, and honestly you're good, the fan work will be alright. If not, good luck. (also, not saying there's nothing wrong with shipping. There's also a problem with people sometimes paying more attention with sexualising and thinking about which character to ship with who than on the actual story, and it's annoying as all hell. Some characters are pretty much aroace but still shipped. But for a long while, people headcanonned characters as queer to feel represented. I understand this part of your argument, but it's more nuanced to me than it is to you.)
Interesting - I could actually see "rarely or never alone together" as a great builder of romantic tension, if it has a clear, compelling reason, and is used as an obstacle they must overcome. I can't help but think of Nora in Pete's Dragon, who managed to have a deeply compelling romance even as the only part of the couple that had any screen time at all lol. Or Maid Marian and Robin Hood in that old Disney adaptation. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," in the words of Lady Kluck :P
Couples in Regency novels HAVE TO be rarely/never alone together. That’s how their society worked. The secret is making the feeling of intimacy happen even with others around.
Think that's if they already were or wanted to be together. Like Ladyhawke kind of thing, can be tension building or gutwrenching. But usually chemitry has to be there first for the fact that they are apart to matter
6 hits hard. I read a book that the two characters were flawed, but in no way able to help each other get better. Their personalities just clashed. I DNF'd it because being together literally made their flaws worse. This was a romance, so it wasn't a purposeful thing.
Love at first sight.... Gurl!! My hubby and I have 10 years and three mids under our belts now and it atarted with eye contact when i walked in a room and we saw each other and there was this magnetic attraction. There was something about him and something about us that we just knew, "Yup. Thats the woman i am going to have a family with and be with for the rest of my life." And for me, "That man... He's going to be something in my life. Oh boy. Welp, let's avoid thi- nope. Can't. Just... Focus on your goals, he wasn't a part of them.... Focus... Nope. I can't. Welp, here we go." And then we got to know each other as friends. He was playing it "cool" and i was trying to pump the breaks. Good conversations occured, honest ones because there was no expectations. But it was pretty much attraction and a knowing from first sight. I get it... Rare, but it does happen and isn't as unbelievable as some may this.
@baahcusegamer4530 There are two mes it feels like a romance novel. There's been highs and lows and the funniest but if it all... We literally should have met SO MANY times when we were kids. I even saw him perform in a play in highschool, his one and ONLY performance, BECAUSE I went to watch one of my long time friends performance after she transferred to a new school district. Like... Wild!
They say to write what you know about, which is probably why I’ve never been able to attempt romantic relationships in my literature. But this was definitely most helpful!
So for my couple of characters : - They spend much time together - They fall in love... A little to quickly so i will change that 😅 - They never tease eachother like that - They are touching themselves very often 😂 - They are not sick of eachothers - They are always challenging eachothers like this - And no, there chemistry is unique so... Okay, thanks for this video, it's very helpfull !
Interesting that many of these tips can work in real-life relationships: 1. Try to spend a lot of time together 2. Don't be blinded by love. You should never make vital decisions, like dating, on a whim 3. Teasing each other about other's love interest can be a huge dealbreaker. Try not to live in the past. 4. Physical touch is vital to keep a relationship going, especially marriage. HOWEVER, be mindful about physical touches. Physical touch, like holding hands or kissing, is the glue that sticks two people together. Especially 'exploring each other's bodies'. Both of you will be unforgettable in each other's mind because of the intimate thing you share together. And this also works when you are dating the wrong person! 5. If you get sick of each other after a while, that's a good sign your relationship is not working. 6. Most of the time, if you're in a relationship, your weaknesses will be put on a magnifying glass. Sometimes, this is a good sign, because the more intimate you get, the relationship will pull out the "real you" and it allows you to be vulnerable with each other. 7. You shouldn't cheat. That should be self-explanatory.
Wanna make me stop rooting for a couple? Make the man say or do something out of character that upsets the woman and the woman doesn't question it. She just calls him a monster never wants to see him again and they start ghosting each other.
@@thatonepossum5766 ughhh I hate misunderstanding tropes. Especially when they don't make the woman listen to the man's explanation. Shrek already did this trope
Sometimes it can be good to bring a secondary character for the plot of attempting to break apart the couple who are strongly in love. This can make things quite interesting especially when that secondary character becomes the type of an antagonist that has a crazed obsession to steal the man/woman from their lover. Depending how far that antagonist is willing to go.
I hate when one of the characters really wrongs the other (abandoned them, cheats on them or even kills their family) and it's painted as "romantic " or something and then one of them nearly dies and the other needs to save them, but they never even talk about the issue!!!
A kind of romance that I've recently discovered could be interesting to write is when two people who should hate each other because their personalities are so different, actually meet and find each other's differences intriguing and it balances them out. This leads them to become friends but of course it isn't easy, due to them being so different. So they need to be mature and find a way to compromise.
Thank you, Abbie! I've been a bit discouraged the past couple of weeks as I'm working on the first draft of my next book because my heroine lacks agency, and I know it's hard for readers to genuinely like characters who are passive. So this afternoon, I watched your 7 Deadly Romance Mistakes video and was instantly struck by #6. I see now that my characters need to challenge each other's faults and weaknesses, not only to raise the conflict and stakes, but also to provide proof of their individual agency. An added bonus is that when they challenge each other, it adds great depth to the romance, proving that they are truly coming to know each other instead of simply being infatuated. Now, I've got a few great scenes plotted out and am ready to let the sparks (of various natures) fly. Thanks for helping me figure this out!
The touch thing is nailed perfectly with Kanej in SoC duology. Their slow burn was literally outta this world and I don't think I've ever read anything with as strong sense of intimacy as the bathroom scene (ifykyk) The thing is, they both have some sort of trauma connected to physical touch and it's just taken into account so beautifully, I was at loss of words while reading the books. Leigh Bardugo did a phenomenal job with them.
The only point where a relationship can be perfect is when the focus of the book is not on the relationship itself but on the problems coming from outside that the couple must go through.
Ironically, Anthony and Kate from Bridgerton S2 do a lot of those "no-no's" (rarely ever alone, almost never touch, encourage other love interests, attraction at first sight, ... etc) and they're a very very popular and high chemistry pairing ! So I guess it depends on how it's written / those tropes are handled.
Frieren breaks or at least bends most of these rules and the romance is quite good. Frieren is nearly never alone with himmel, they rarely touch, they never directly addresses each other's flaws unless its lightly teasing one another, and he's dead most of the series. Yet, i hope they can work something out --if only letting her wish him permanent farewell.
Also, one thing that kills any romance for me is when in a relationship, one of the characters tries to change their love interest to make them a better fit. For example, A and B are dating but not yet in an official serious relationship. A notices something about B that A thinks is bad so A tries to talk B into changing this and B is just written to go along with it. Maybe there's even that ultimatum of "it's either you change, or this is over". This is just really a heavy killer that makes me really question why both of these characters are even dating each other. There's always two in a relationship and what I just explained is exactly what I hate about a lot of romances, the guy always has to change for the woman, WHY? It doesn't make sense! Why does SHE get what she wants while the guy has to give up his true personality? Why does miss demandy-pants not need to change? Stuff like this always makes me furious.
This is so helpful, thank you! I’m working on trying to figure out my premise so the love interests are forced to be together. Maybe more tension is what I need. I’d love to see you break down famous fictional couples and explain why they work!
Yeah about the falling in love in a short amount of time, I was thinking that Titanic. Probably a good structure to use on how to build that tension even if it happens during 3 days or something lol.
Yes good one! They were in that forced proximity on the ship but plenty of opportunities to share each others world, like when he took Rose below deck and she dances with him and his fellow cheapsiders and then also the ship was big enough for some ‘alone time’.
As I am processing what you taught us today, I thought about a thriller and suspense, "who wants to kill the mayer this time and can we stop him in time?" book series by Tom Clancy that my ex owned. In the first three parts the MC and a colleague of his had a secret crush on eachother, light enough to be a subplot in that genre, but since can also not keep up the same secret crush for 30 books in a row(!), something had to happen with them, so in part 3 they finally kissed. And while Tom could still keep me awake, wondering who wanted to ɓomb city hall this time, the romantic subplot had become useless and boring. It didn't add to the story, because the change in their relationship... It was almost like the writer kept that subplot out of necessity or something... So I would say, as number 8: write this lovestory for a reason, let these people be together for a reason, convince us that the situation really needs these two together, if your romance is a subplot.
Having chemistry with someone else was my main pet peeve with the Stormlight Archives (first three books) it actually got drawn out for so long that I found myself becoming very annoyed with the book in general. Good advice!
I think that Edmund and Fanny Price from the Mansfield Park novel by Jane Austen does exactly these 7 mistakes because of which Fanny's chemistry with Crawford looks and feels much better!
YES!!!!!OMG I was thniking the same thing! I was shipping Fanny with Henry the whole book, I didnt like her romance with Edmund at all, it felt so forced.
@@taylardotson8100 Yeah exactly! I don't understand the reason why Fanny had to end up with Edmund while Crawford did all the hard work to impress her like getting her older brother a suitable job and also visiting her in her poor family house. Edmund's change of attitude towards Fanny at last felt like a last minute plot change:(
I'd have to disagree with the "falling in love too quickly" part. It is very possible in real life for people to fall in love quickly. It happened to me and my fiancé, and we've been together for over ten years, planning to get married soon.
For ‘never or don’t constantly don’t have time alone together’ is the total UP for my two main romantic characters. The actual book is revolving around the main character, Sophie (female, eleven, mortal), and a mage she becomes friends with, Toby (male, eleven, mage) when she stumbles into a different dimension. They stumble upon others and are mostly seen as friends for the entire first book, but during their journey to find ‘the frequency’, which is the drama, they spend all their time alone together. In the first book, Sophie only sees Toby as a companion in the actual writing, though her actions prove otherwise. She has major trust issues and is new to this world, and she doesn’t typically show any affection. But sometimes, she’ll protect Toby from monsters, defend him or stay loyal to him during troublesome people moments, or she’ll just do small little protective details, such as: Example one: (Toby has light magic as his mage power) Toby offers to cast the light instead of her using her flashlight, in case she needs it when they split. Sophie snaps that she can use the flashlight and she’ll be fine, making the point, ‘I doubt you’d even last a minute’, not as her seeing him as weak, but her worrying about his limits and how he might need to defend himself in future moments. Example two: Toby gives Sophie, since she has no powers, instead weapons choices. She takes her share and they continue on their adventure, after Toby pays for the weapons with his own money (which he needs and has been saving up for personal reasons, but point still stands). They run into an opponent with some sort of ‘sneak power’ (animals or creatures has a wider verity for powers than mages) and they get snuck up on. Sophie uses her weapons, though struggling as she’d just got them, and defends Toby, not watching her own back. Toby quickly backs her up, mostly since he’s a total sweetheart and golden retriever boy. For Toby, he at first sees Sophie as a pretty girl and develops a small ‘crush’, but he doesn’t actually like her romantically yet. He’s just never had a friend before and doesn’t talk to many females, and he’s never met someone from another dimension and finds her incredibly interesting. He thinks he has a crush on her for a small amount of time before he realizes she won’t like him back and they’re better off as friends (this does affect their future romantic relationship).
I'm about halfway into my first romance and they've found true love. Now is their moment for Happily Ever After. They'd better appreciate it, because I'm really going to put them through the wringer in the next chapter.
A few of my romance pet peeves of late: 1) the characters are overly jealous of ‘potential’ competition, 2) when discussing their relationship in hindsight, one or both express how they knew they loved the other person right from the beginning (it’s like the rest of the story that built their relationship was pointless then!), and 3) a potential competition (usually a man), just meeting the other person (usually a woman) and their not yet exclusive partner, so they automatically like the other person (the woman) - it frequently comes across as two men trying to prove they’re the more manly man because they can get the girl (aka the prize); it’s not about them actually loving the woman for who she is.
I just wanted to comment to thank you for making videos like this and for free! I always go to my English teachers asking for advice but they're not available 24/7 so thank you for making videos like this, so young writers like me can catch our mistakes and fix them so down the line our writing is as best as can be!
Could you do mockumentary tips ? Those are my favorite genre and i couldn’t know if you would take request . I would be happy in watching your videos again .
So, I had a situation where a vice president tried to kiss my mc. She shut him down. I also have two side character's in my current story. Thanks again Abbie
What also kills the whole chemistry is when for example the boy says to the girl things like: "I know you like me." and teases her with that. There's nothing romantic in that, it's just annoying and makes the character less likable because OF COURSE we all know that she likes him but if he points that out suddenly that excitement about their relationship vanishes.
OH NO. This video made me REALLY stressed about my two main characters! They don't constantly have alone time, but when they do, they touch each other and get productive in their relationship's chemistry. However, I'm realizing that they liked each other as soon as they met (not love at first sight though) because FMC saved MMC. The latter lacking self-confidence and trusted friends, he immediately gets attached to FMC in a sort of pathetic way (because he quickly becomes enamored with those who show support to him), but then, he slowly learns more about her and gets genuinely attached to her in a loving way. Is this interesting if two characters like each other from the start? Like, the opposite of *enemies*-to-lovers?
in my opinion, i think it can still be interesting! enemies to lovers is popular because the conflict is naturally baked into the dynamic, but not every good romance needs to be enemies to lovers! they can have personal flaws or external issues they need to work through to be together, even if they like each other! like maybe the FMC is scared to let others rely on her because of a previous experience in her life, but she's still drawn to MMC and it creates a push and pull between them as he learns to be more self-confident. or maybe they want to be together but they need to solve an external obstacle. the point is, i think you can still tell a compelling story where characters push each other to grow and like each other at the same time - write the story that appeals to you! :3
Not every relationship needs to be enemies to lovers. Yeah sometimes there is something from the start. Not insta love, but rather something that makes one of the characters or two of them to take liking in each other that turns to love under some circumstances. So imo it's totally fine! Just make the relationship interesting and believable.
That is friends to lovers. It can start as a casual friendship or a “kindred spirit” friendship without being a coup de foudre. Or there can be an instant attraction that dies down a lot & just simmers in the background. Both work.
Sounds good to me I don't think you always have to follow any advice down to every detail. There's always room for experiments and stuff. In my main story i'm writing (i write a lot simultaneously..) it's not really "enemy" to lovers. Yes the guy is cold and distant at first, and acts annoyed etc. But the MC quickly notices this is just a mask he's hiding behind, as otherwise his behaviour contradicts this "leave me alone" attitude (for example, him helping her up when she falls, even asking if she got hurt). Also my MC doesn't act mean towards him, she's always being nice and polite to him even when he tells her to leave him alone or that his problems are none of her business, because she knows he's only putting on an act by that point. And yeah, they quickly find they have a lot in common and my MC wants to be friends, especially since they live in the same house (shared living) and she generally wants to get along with everyone. But seeing their similarities, they do get friendly with each other quick and I suppose you can notice the chemistry between them very early, but they do not like, immediatly fall in love or something, it's just that both of them feel that certain something between them and that's what makes the guy open up to the MC and what makes the MC choose to help him regardless of his behaviour. I plan to address that later on in the story.
Abbie, you're a genius! I don't know if you know telepathy, but you bring out videos at the EXACT MOMENT we need them! I only have one question - what if you're writing long distance relationships where the characters are NOT able to be together because of other bonds? How can you adhere to proximity in this case?
You ain't lying lol I'm writing a story of a French succubus falling in love with an American human this video came out of nowhere. Taking her advice is great. so far I haven't messed up any of that. I'm trying to weave the supernatural elements into their connection since it's different from regular people talking and falling for each other... I'm having a lot of fun. 😊
From what I know, what I understood from your comment, and based on my unasked-for opinion, you should turn the distance into a real, daily, emotional issue for your characters, especially if they need this lovey-dovey physical contact in their couple. Since you can't have literal proximity between them, you should show a figurative one where they yearn for each other. If you want them to stay together for the entirety of your story, then internal conflict is the key. Make them suffer inside because of the distance (and maybe because of others' teasing, taunting, or even personal feelings for the two characters in question). If you want their relationship to last, then they must occasionally think of one another. Let them be reminded of their partner when they see a place where they had spent time together, hear a song that the other likes, stare longingly at a picture of them before rising from bed/after work, etc. Just little things in their routine that prove they cherish the other character. Additionally, they should somehow keep contact with one another, lest their feelings evaporate (it's human nature to turn to someone else when we miss the one we want). Let one character write a letter/text their beloved sometimes, and show how much the latter is happy/how their heart flutters at that small gesture. Let that special communication be the other's engine, the fifth wheel that keeps them afloat in dark times. The less frequently they'll communicate with each other, the more precious a message from them will be. Dunno if I said anything interesting, but hope it helped.
@ivystead OMG THIS IS ITTTT. My couple does have problems with the distance because one of them is military and uk how that turns out. But this could actually help a lot!!!! Thanks so much!!!
I reckon you could solve this problem by having them think about the other constantly, and have it be known that they talk often. You could showcase their chemistry through a featured conversation. Have them think deeply about the other, ask questions, imagine being with them
There’s always the “We were on the phone foe 3 hours & I can’t remember anything we said, but it was great” style of proximity. Physical proximity makes it easier, but emotional time together can do the job if it’s done well.
I laughed when you talked about eyes meeting across the room! I noticed a man across the room at the same time he noticed me and we have been together for 22 years since that night (in a bar, lol) July we will celebrate 20 years of marriage :)
I don't like or read romance novels or watch many romance films, but most stories tend to feature some form of romance so a lot of this is stuff I learned either through practice or observation. I'm working on my second novel that's mystery/action, but a romance plays a keep plot element to the story so I figured I'd brush up. A lot of this is advice is very accurate, especially the "challenge each other's beliefs" and "touching" scenes, it really helps to build up that tension between the characters before they get to sexy stuff.
Ok im not sure if u have read it but MXTX's grandmaster of demonic cultivation has one of the most natural romantic progressions ever and tis absolutely beautiful
I had a "love at first sight" moment with a girl, and... yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. Breaking up with her 5+ years later shattered my entire Identity.
Nice, informative writing advice!! The chemistry with another character is the worst one, imo. Especially when I know the creator's intent. I often even like the chosen couple being written, but I wince because they don't see how they're making a different character into a much more compelling love interest....
For #3, just want to say, this can be a fine and legit thing if it's in a polyamorous relationship. I'm polyamorous, and my partners and I would love teasing each other about potential love interests 😂
Oh, awesome! I have two major couples in my grimdark trilogy, I get to hear that I instinctively dodged all the 'don't' bullets! 😂Now, I feel very Neo-like.
Thanks, Abbie! About «They have chemestry with someone else», I recongnize it in Avatar, The Last Airbender, with Katara and Suko. I enyoing so much watching they together. Their intimacy moments are a few, but so good. I think if we feeling that another couple can be better than the principal one is a clue that we need to improve so much more the chemestry between the last one. Thank you so much for your advises!
I have the habbit of always putting a "troubled guy finds salvation in a girl" relationship in my little stories. In whatever fashion. This list really helps me out a lot, thank you very much!
Such a great video, as always. But seeing that clip of Miss Scarlet & The Duke was like a punch to the gut. RIP William and Eliza and all that beautiful chemistry 😭
When the community doesn’t ship randomly. I feel like this is pretty major more so for animations and whatnot than books, but some people have very cool and creative ideas for shipping!
I enjoy these kinds of videos. I am currently working on a new project that focuses on the romantic chemistry between two characters, and it focuses on the challenges between them on the road to getting married. They have been written as friends to lovers, and the challenges they face are on an emotional level that they have to come to grips with about their significant other.
I literally did a plot where the male, was currently in full effect of a concussion and the female was just annoyed by his nonsense. That’s how they met.
I can share one example for the second rule: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Both of the main characters fell in love at first sight. However, their love was mysterious, magical, and also painful. I think the plot would have struggled significantly if Mikhail Bulgakov had decided to take a different approach.
and number 3 I actually think can be executed well, in "call me by your name" both elio and oliver talk about their other love interests, chiara and marzia, but it doesn't kill any chemistry instead it makes it stronger
Number 2, definitely! It was the one niggle I had with 'Les Miserables' and the romance between Cosette and Marius - it was literally, as 'Cinema Sins' satirized - that Marius "falls in love with a woman he met through a fence!"
@@carolineclayton568 I haven't - gonna wait until I've got a couple of years to spare, as I understand it's quite hefty! But I can appreciate their relationship probably ISN'T like that in the book - it had to be condensed in that way for a musical because of the way musical theatre is structured. And I do know Eponine's character is a lot less sympathetic in the book too - she's actually quite manipulative and scheming, rather than just forlornly accepting her fate as the One He'll Never Choose.
Now, it makes sense why two of my characters felt boring together. They grew up together in a situation where they did not look elsewhere unless they had to, and it worked...but it was boring. It made much more sense to make them like close siblings since that was possible , too.
When I read thrown of glass it was crazy how the FL kept talking about how the prince eyes were pretty or how he was handsome while also saying how she wanted to kill him in the same sentence
I like the idea of them falling in love without becoming in love. As The story moves forward the relationship grows, but by the end of the story they are not quite there. You finish with them looking to the future, with the excitement they may have found the one. They go off hopeful but there is no certainty.
When I first tried making romance, people have been drawn to my ships. I didn't realize it was because these mistakes were being avoided. But now that I know for sure, I can focus more on some of the main ships of my characters. Find more creative ways to interact with them, but also keep the chemistry more realistic by giving a journey that helps them grow together while they also learn to grow on their own as they would expect to do most of the time. But the romantic portion of my story is very delicate so it's good to learn these tips so I can handle the romance very carefully. The last thing we want to do is send a bad message to the world that can drive a reader to make those mistakes in real life and ruin, not just romance, but heck, even marriages.
The worst romantic tension killer for me is when the MC goes on and on about how hot the Love Interest is. Like sure, he's hot, but what other good qualities does he have?
They're usually effing assholes, but it doesn't matter because they have a six pack. GROAN. I hate this
Ugh hate that
Trying to make absolutely sure my OTP OCs think more about things other than "oh my goodness they're so hot, cute, etc" like "he's so supportive" and "she's so talented"
Teenager types often care about looks more, or they get fooled by 'the bad boy' who has more confidence than he should.
So, it makes perfect sense that some types care greatly about that.
@@PaigeTheCartoonCaptain that's way more interesting! I don't mind a few phrases like "He looked handsome there standing in the sunlight." But when they start talking about abs, and tight jeans and other body parts, I just glaze over. A superficial MC is a boring MC, in my opinion.
@@racheltheradiant4675 thank you!
They do both think the other one is attractive but it's not what they think about the most.
1- Never or rarely have time alone together
3- They fall in love to quickly
3- Tease each other about other potencial love interest
4- They never touch
5- They get sick of each other after a while
6- They don’t challengers each other faults and weaknesses
7- They have romantic chemistry with other’s characters
💜🙏🏾 a real one
And the bonus one: one poor sonnet 😄
#1--there could be a plot reason for this or any other of the characteristics, particularly in dystopian tales. If there's not, though, yes, mistakes were made.
7) What about a love triangle?
@@x-mighty7602 Reader demographic decides, I guess. Women readers only want one man love interest, while men readers like to have many female options, maybe?
The worst mistake for me in writing romantic chemistry is sacrificing authenticity for the sake of plot convenience or adhering to romantic tropes without adding depth or originality to the relationship
I am currently working on a grimdark/ dark fantasy book featuring a romance subplot, how should I do it in this specific genre?
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well Abby may be better suited to respond than me personally lol. But I suggest incorporating a romance subplot into your story by crafting complex, multi-dimensional characters with morally gray motivations (what works for me best personally) Make sure to build the romance gradually, introducing obstacles and conflicts that challenge the relationship, while utilizing the atmosphere to enhance emotional depth. Avoid clichés also, balance the subplot with the main plot, and aim for a realistic resolution that resonates with readers. Focus on themes of love, sacrifice, trust, and redemption to add depth and intensity to the romantic relationship within the broader narrative.
These are just a few things that come to mind
@@KGBeast. my book is a retelling of The Lion King
In addition, I borrow elements from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which features Titania and Oberon, the queen and king of the fairies respectively
Late into the book, I feature a somewhat explicit lovemaking scene, followed by my female protagonist murdering her love interest due to her inner corruption and trauma, pushed to doing it by a malevolent magic sword
@@unicorntomboy9736 Ok that sounds interesting not gonna lie, interested to see how you go about reworking the themes and ideas of the original story into those of your own
Thank you. I’m currently working with an indie team as an editor for a game jam and that is one gripe I have with it. I don’t get it. There’s 5 writers and me and only 1 writer and myself want genuine relationships it feels like between the characters.
Everyone else just wants them to kiss or flirt.
To me it really is boring, pointless. I don’t feel anything at all unless there’s a genuine meaningful connection.
One thing that kills romance for me is when they fall madly in love and have nothing in common. Theres absolutely no reason why they should fall in love yet they are suddenly in love. There has to be a connection between the two people in order for their romance to withstand the stories conflict. Another thing that kills me is when one character does something truly messed up to the other character and it’s forgiven in the end because they are SO in love. That’s an instant killer for me
Some people are very impulsive, low impulse control.
I even knew a husband and wife who got married very quickly and are the rare couple who are actually a good match.
This is almost going to happen in my book, a young, eager officer will wish he had chemistry with my tough-as-nails female starship captain, but his confession of true love will only make her furious. Then, he'll complicate the plot by running away to prove himself with brave deeds.
I agree! And with your first statement, its 100%worst when the only connection is that they both love a child they are caring for. This can work, but not if the child is they only thing the couple has in common, it's ridiculous
@@Daughter-of-Adam-and-EveTbh I like the child thing but as a way of how they were brought together
@@LeviathantheMightyyeah, a rare exception probably, because I don’t know any couple that did what you comment. Every couple I know actually took time to be together together. And they are fine. But what you say, I never saw.
I would also add just make them enjoy each others company in non-romantic ways. When the author shows the two love interests just having fun with each other doing something thats not romantic, it solidifies that they are truly well placed.
Like if they share a passion for investigation and do it together. Or maybe they are both mages and work together to make their magic stronger. Idk, hopefully that makes sense.
THANK you for saying this. I can’t stand it when as soon as the two get together it’s nothing but making out or seggs, even while they’re having conversations they should be having seriously. It’s honestly one of my biggest peeves and can cause me to DNF.
I totally understand and I fully agree. A relationship builds out of mutual interest. My characters both are avid gamers and share their downtime together doing that because it A. Strengthens their bond by giving them more time together outside of daily life, B. Gives them something to continue discussions about throughout the story, C. Establishes that they really are best friends not just buddies. They spend almost all their time together and are attracted to each other, hence romance builds. If you don't have some way you can see character 1 wanting to be with character 2 at literally all points in time, why do you think something as deep and personal as romance would ever bud? They don't have to share literally everything, but one or two things they are doing together or constantly talking with each other about to build upon that thing makes a world of difference.
I don't know, i think an interest in someone else can be the entire reason someone hangs out with another. Rather, i think that most of the time, when two characters are romantic interests, thats ALL they are, which detracts from the relationship aspect of two characters. That is to say, teo people can share no interests, but are interested enough in each other to at least try to interact with each other anyway. If you get what i mean
Abbie your candles near your books are STRESSIN' ME OUT haha
Ikr 😅😅😅😅
Same lol
It's a light candle. not real fire. OH MY GOSH IT IS REAL FIRE WTH
@@AgentMoss2217😂😂😂
One lil breeze and.. IT'S AFLAME AND I'M TALKING LIKE I'M IN THE REGENCY ERA 😅
Hot take: being sick of each other is completely normal and can actually strengthen a relationship. It provides another hurdle to move past. I did not immediately love everything about how my husband lived his life and there were times where little stuff he did made me upset or annoyed. And vice versa, spend TOO long with someone and you eventually find SOMETHING you don’t agree or like about one another. BUT you can absolutely use this as a plot device and strengthen their bond by having them fight and then compromise, just like what happens in real life. Real love takes WORK and gets easier with time. Been with him 9 years now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and he is my muse ❤
Oh wise one, show us, show us the way…write a book like this!😁
I think that what you're saying relates to her point of having conflict to make the chemistry grow. If they are sick of each other for no reason, just because they have been spending a little too much time together, that kills romantic chemistry. But if there is a conflict, of course they're going to be sick of each other- but they can solve that conflict and grow together.
There is a difference between what may work in real life and what works in a romance book. What readers are looking for in romance often is a form of escapism. No offence but I don't want to read a book about a couple who work through a guy's tendency to take his gf for granted and relies on weaponized incompetence to get out of doing chores or something. Sure it's VERY realistic, but damn, where's the fun? Not all conflicts are created equals, when you're reading fiction. Some will make you want to help characters grow, and some will make you wish they die sooner than later. You have to be very careful with the amount of realism you put in a romance. If the readers start hating a character, it's over.
@@blumeshullman8002 okay I agree, what I’m talking about is a very fine line where the conflict between two love interests is each other sometimes. Ex: Stranded together is a very popular trope and I’m saying that it might be fine at first if a couple has shown interest in each other but as time goes on the get sick of each other until they realize this fight is petty, they love each other and need to work together to get un-stranded. Perhaps girl gets sick of a reaction to something she says a lot, and it turns out boys’ sister used to say the same thing before she betrayed their family, so now he resents it. They dismantle that not everyone who does that is bad and they grow and move on, having learned more about each others pasts in the process. It wouldn’t be fun if they just are puppy-love all the time, or the ONLY conflict is external forces. I’m not saying you have to include “being sick of each other” in your romance, but for me, it can be a tool, just like any other conflict.
I don't like reading that personally. To me, reality is for the day to day- it doesn't belong on my bookshelf.
Fights are great but nitpicking after spending "too much time together" turns me all the way off in books.
What kills the romantic ship for me is usually when one person does most of the work in the relationship when the other simply doesn't invest as much thoughts or just stupid and never grows. I think it just won't work when two people develops at different pace, most of the time I started rooting for the one with most growth to move on and find better pair/be alone.
Same!
I feel like if you love someone, you invest something into the relationship and don't let your partner do all the work in it. I always hate these kinds of relationships depicted in fictional work, it always makes me root for the one who doesn't do anything to just get dumped in the meanest way possible. Especially if they play prince/princess demandy-pants who's hard to impress and the other one has to win them over and proof their worthiness or some stupid sh*t. Just no.
So basically every romance written by man lol😂 and male MC always the person who "doesn't invest anything" while girl or girls are dancing around him in all ways possible 😭
@@olyabutorina6869Shonen anime be like, specially written by a dude; weird cases were the romance its actually well work it turns out the mangaka was a woman (like Inuyasha, Full Metal Alchemist)
@@olyabutorina6869interestingly, in my experience the character who gives it all in the relationships I’ve read/seen is the man. The woman in some romances for some reason expects to be treated like a princess yet gives hardly any interest in loving the man. It’s so strange to me. It’s like they loved being loved rather than loving the actual man. But that might just be bad luck with the dynamics I’ve read unfortunately!
True! I am sick of all those "prove me your love"-character (mostly girls) while they never invest anything into the relationship. That's not even how real relationships work..
All thirsting and no romance 🤦🏻♀️ please give me romance! I feel like the the spice rarely works unless there’s been a nice build up of romance👌
Oh yeah! Under the Oak tree in a nutshell!
You can have an amazing romance between characters with no spice whatsoever, but spice without romance is erotica and fulfills a completely different fantasy. Both are fine to write, and the audiences often overlap and cross over, but writers need to be cognizant of which one they are writing.
When a character is obsessed with the idea of love itself and notion of being in love, I become dubious and sceptical of their love interests... as it's less about the chemistry and more about the character's own erotomania. That's one of the reasons why Elizabeth Bennet is so great: she establishes her credentials as grounded, clear-headed and self-aware so that as the love develops we can trust that she's not just a fantasist.
It's ironic that, at least as far my tastes go, writers who are obsessed with love must write characters that aren't in order to convey a powerful love story.
you know, this comment helped me realize why a lot of people didn't like one of the romances in a show I liked when I did like it. I personally liked that romance, but that WAS a trait of one of the characters. I didn't even realize this was a thing so thanks 👍
I love this! I also like when there’s a specific reason why characters fall in love because it conveys that they wouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. For example, in my favorite musical Hadestown, Eurydice falls in love with Orpheus because his unwavering faith and optimism make her feel supported, safe, and hopeful. Nobody else could’ve done that for her. It makes it so much more tragic then when he betrays her trust and sends her back to the underworld, because we know she’s never finding that feeling of safety again with anyone else.
@@artific3r_ I'm glad it was useful! Out of interest, what was the character/show in question if you don't mind me asking?
@@toms9357 it was Delloso de la Rue from a court of fey and flowers
My thing is when a character DELIBERATELY destroys something/someone the other character loves just to see them suffer. Maybe it's bc I hold grudges, but it's just sickening to me. Not only is it insanely hard to redeem that character later on, but it's hard to see the two together without viewing the scene under a veil of toxicity. If it's on accident? Yes. Give me all the angst.
Yeah. Honestly, even when it’s an accident, unless it’s properly addressed, I’d still be mad. I hate it when things are just swept under the rug because someone says sorry or feels bad. Clearly they don’t need to somehow undo it or fix things completely, but there still needs to be a proper attempt to make things right.
IKRR My biggest pet peeve on romance, even fanfics, makes me abandon immediately it's when they just make the love interest IMPOSSIBLE to redeem. By starters, i never forget so that's just me, I'm a believer that there are some things where even if I forgive, we just can't go back. When they cheat, or even do something they know will hurt the MC i just can't, and even worst when it's done poorly, used for shock value or stretching the story or forced to create conflict and gives you this unsatisfation. An example of this is every Colleen Hoover ever.
Massive agree on "it's insanely hard to redeem that character later on."
Dynamics like that *can* work, but it can *only* work if the author puts in the effort to, and is willing to handle the slow-burn with tact.
Rushing it just leaves the toxic/abusive taste in any reader's mouth.
But giving it the time it needs for the asshole character to not only realize how much they screwed up, but make amends and change as best they can, and *earn* that other character's love and trust again? Chef's kiss.
Redemption without introspection and growth is just a shiny "good job" sticker slapped on, nothing more.
@@izzy1356 YOU GET IT TY 🙏
You are right, but I'd like to add that the opposite can make the romance much sweeter. By that, I mean when something important one of the characters had was destroyed, so the other character makes something themselves to replace it. Even better if this thing reflects some of the skills and personality of this other character. For example: in the fanfic I'm writing (I'm working on an original book too but this one's about the fic) the recurve bow of character A breaks in a fight and can't be repaired. A is really sad about it because it was family heirloom from his late grandfather. Character B sees this, and so he makes him a sort of compound bow. He's s very much into engineering so it makes sense that with some research he can do it. He gives it to A, who, even though the original bow can't be replaced, is extremely happy. A tightly hugs B (even though he's usually not into too much phisical contact), and that's probably when he realises he's s in love with him.
I hope this makes sense😅
One thing in my opinion that kills a ship is they fight waaay to much. Sure, disagreements is important when writing ships. BUT it only works if the characters WORK through the conflict. Arguments in fictional ships build chemistry BUT only to a certain point. When you have two characters arguing and having an on and off relationship it becomes toxic and not fun to watch or read about.
Real
I'm all in for a rivals to lovers, so I enjoy a lot those fights; but I 100% agree that it's different to build a dynamic like rivals, and have them fight over EVERY LITTLE THING, even worse when the fight is about something one of the characters deeply cares about, and they never do something to make up to that. It becomes stressful.
Also for the arguments to not overtake the relationship of the characters the author needs to balance the fighting moments with sweet moments between the two characters, that shows there bond and adds complexity and emotional wait to there arguments and fights, these is the secret why angst is so addictive because you know why the relationship is important for the two characters but they can't help but argue with each other due to misunderstandings etc. If the only thing they do 24/7 is argue then why are you even writing a relationship at all? Create sweet, and funny moments between two characters to make the character dynamic fun as well as complicated, rather then just 1 dimensional arguing.
@@jøy_what_riley_loves_the_most True, but it can be a bit frustrating to read for me. It's okay if you like the drama though!!
Cannons also kill ships. (teasing)
@@crystaluwu1012I present to you Spensa and Jorgen
"When they tease ease other about other love interests" - that can set up a fun twist. Character A is convinced that B couldn't possibly love them so A tries to set them up with C because C is "far more worthy" of B. B mistakes the attempted matchmaking as A being disinterested and tries to settle for C despite loving A.
Character A sounds a lot like Takeo from My Love Story.
Poor C :'(
@@alicedodobirb2808don’t worry, C’s actually in love with D and they end up together in the end ❤
This is literally the anime, Toradora! lol
I mean, yeah, it sounds good. I think she meant that it overshadows the whole thing so much that it gets boring and begins to annoy people.
Another reason: Conversations not being deep enough. I mean, sure, you can have both characters in a stage with both of them alone after some conflict or situation they just went through together but, sometimes we have this... shallow conversations, characters almost asking each other hows the weather and then, after two of these situations, boom! They´re in love and its like... N-no? You barely know them, everything we know about both characters is what they've revealed us through their own thoughts, but they've NEVER talk about themselves with each other? What do they have in common? Whats their dreams and motivations? Do you share anything else besides vicarious passion?? Please, make you characters have DEEPER CONVERSATIONS!!!
7:49 I think I don't agree with this one that much, because there are characters that do not like touch, and I think showing respect for that boundary can be more romantic than "but they would do it for this person"
I think that too, the only couple I can think of right off the top of my head is Magnus and Alex from Magnus Chase
This, Too much touch can also come across as manipulative, like the character is trying to force a connection. It's creep behavior if it isn't reciprocal.
I thought of this because some of my characters are like this. You could work around this by making the love interest the person who respects their boundaries the most! Instead of them being the duo that touch the most, they’re the duo that touch the least. Maybe if one character is touchy and the other isn’t the touchy one can learn over time.
This is actually an important factor with one of my main characters. They have some degree of Haphephobia (fear of touch), usually only able to manage a handshake, and only because they spent ages pushing themselves until they could. But it's an important point with a character they become involved with that they over time build enough trust to allow a bit more touch. But what's important, besides the other person respecting the boundary, is that this is very slow, and happens in baby steps. It's not like they just magically are okay with all touch from this person all at once, or even every time. The building of trust means things like they flinch less if that person manages to touch their arm, and that they would even allow that as a sign of comfort, but at no point will they ever completely not flinch at the initial contact. Because it's a trauma response, a reaction, and while it can lessen, it isn't going to just poof away. Also, even when the other person does earn a lot of trust, it's not all or nothing every time. Even if it's their partner, there's still days where a pat on the back is the extent of what they could handle. But, the fact there's progress over time, and that trust is such a big part of it all, does make it feel earned when the person is allowed a bit more touch, and it means more.
My 'Notify me' button is broken! fun right? Can someone reply to this comment when it premieres? Thank you in advance!
Edit: ty all who tried to remind me I ended up sleeping through it 😅
Same here
It says Premieres in 8 hours. 17 April at 20:30.
It starts in aproximately 15 mins, but I'm sure you're already here, LOL! Anyway, have fun wathing!
It’s on in 11 mins
😊
Five minutes left! ❤
The worst romantic killer for me is if the boy is doing the action and the girl is only supporting/watching/
agreeing with the boy.
For example, the girl goes with the boy and the boy does some kind of activity and the girl just watches instead of joining in. (Unfortunately, this happens far too often)
In Chinese Historical Fantasy novels, there is a deliberate thing, called Second Male Lead Syndrome. It's on purpose. It's when the secondary male is so good with the Female Lead, that you wish they would ditch the actual Male Lead for the secondary. If you ever want to rant about a girl being with the wrong guy, read the Chinese novel Chaos of Beauty. I swear it was those interactions with the Secondary ML that kept me turning the pages. I hated, and still hate the Male Lead. However, I will say if you write a better love interest you only have two ways to go, messy divorce to be with the other person, or terrible tragedy.
So, while I agree with most of the advice, sometimes that secondary character being better has plot potential. At the very least if you break your reader's hearts and crush their 'ship' they will remember your novel for years to come.
I agree, but this method is risky. People might see it as trash and a waste of time
@user-zn2ei4vs6m It can be tricky, and admittedly, I see it play out more in high drama. It probably wouldn't work for sweet fluffy romance.
Experienced that with a certain Kdrama and was crushed. Oh my goodness everyone in my family loved the male lead and hated the second male lead I wanted to stab someone.
The first guy: Boring, the senior, took her on a date that was only about things he liked, no flaws or character development, only good thing he did was jump in front of a knife that was aimed at the MC
The second male lead: Took her on a date about things she liked, googled up how to impress a date cuz he was nervous, joined a club because of her, befriended her brother and they became absolute besties and he helped him a lot, learned what it was like to fall in love and care about someone other than himself
Thanks this is so interesting and makes me think of 😱 teams Edward and Jacob
I'm writing a young, eager male character who wishes he was the second male lead, instead my tough-as-nails female starship captain will have a friends-with-benefits situation with an exotic alien leading his oppressed people to a new planet. The eager guy will complicate the epic journey by running off to prove himself with brave deeds...
I can’t tell you how many times I either hated or DNFed a book because of insta love or they got too close to quickly ❤
Ditto. The instalove really kills it for me.
That's like most of Nicolas Sparks' novels. Hated 'The Choice' cause the female lead had an affair with her neighbour who she just met while her fiance was on a two week trip. And we're supposed to root for this new relationship?
I've read an awful lot of romance stories where one of the couple is abusive towards the other from beginning to end, and it's never treated as a problem, because the author doesn't see it as a problem. Fastest way to get me to check out. I'll never root for an abusive relationship, neither in reality nor fiction. Doesn't matter how good the couple's chemistry is outside the moments of abuse.
Fullmetal Alchemist has possibly the most impressive romances I have seen. Because I am a shipper, I am a navy captain over my fleet of ships. But FMA makes me root for every single one of the canon ships, and I don't root for any other ship. I usually think the love interest is more interesting with one of the side characters, but FMA just manages it, I don't know how.
I think it's the fact that the characters have respect and a deep understanding of each other. 💕
shippers are the reason why I do not engage with fandom of most series/books. Their ships are ridiculous, often going against author's original plot and they are more often than not just insanely stupid and unrelatable. It's like putting random fabrics together and insisting they work together, because you've decided to dismiss 99% character traits of the given character for the ship's sake. :/
Huge nope.
@@marikothecheetah9342 But they're so cute! In all seriousness, I can understand where you're coming from to some degree. One of the reasons I don't like the anime Fairy Tail anymore is because of the shipping. The author either wants to appease or torment all of the shippers so he keeps throwing bait to multiple ships just to keep the ship wars alive. It made the characters feel inconsistent and like they had little will of their own.
Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great.
@@missedthebandwagon976 "Though I still defend shipping as a concept because stories are meant to be enjoyed, and if someone has fun imaging if two characters fell in love, I think that's great." 'fun imagining two characters? Are they their characters? if they want they can write/draw their own characters and ship them to their hearts' content. But it pisses me off that I can't enjoy watching anime, because people no longer care about the story, but they care about ships and ignore everything about characters, including their sexual orientation. :/
If I published anything and saw ANY shipping of my characters that I don't like as an author - I'd sue the asses of those fans like there's no freaking tomorrow. I'd rather have 1 fan that respects my work, than somebody who feels that they can take my hard work and characters I created and treat them like their own. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 honestly, I think your opinion kills the magic of stories just as much as over shipping does. The beauty of stories is that you're engrossed in what happens, you get invested, you imagine. The most imaginative of us will picture out scenarios in their minds, they will get their own interpretation of the story. Just because people have an interpretation of your work that isn't the same as what you envisioned doesn't mean it's wrong. Now, if they started making fanfictions of your work, you could sue them, but I don't see why. It's basically free advertisement. Unless they're young teens, fanfic writers give credits to the source material and often respect the original creator.
You do you, after all, but I think that depending on your audience, all this fan work could be good. People aren't necessarily treating characters as their own, in the sense that they give credits. They simply extrapolate on those characters and imagine stories too that they share. They don't get any money out of it, so I don't see the problem.
The problem with toxic Fandoms is simply that the audience is full of brain dead people. Instead of paying tribute to the original work by nicely imagining stories, they with for their fantasies to actually be real, and it clashes with the fantasy of other people in the Fandom, and it gets annoying.
Just make sure your audience isn't like My Hero Academia's, and honestly you're good, the fan work will be alright. If not, good luck.
(also, not saying there's nothing wrong with shipping. There's also a problem with people sometimes paying more attention with sexualising and thinking about which character to ship with who than on the actual story, and it's annoying as all hell. Some characters are pretty much aroace but still shipped. But for a long while, people headcanonned characters as queer to feel represented. I understand this part of your argument, but it's more nuanced to me than it is to you.)
Interesting - I could actually see "rarely or never alone together" as a great builder of romantic tension, if it has a clear, compelling reason, and is used as an obstacle they must overcome. I can't help but think of Nora in Pete's Dragon, who managed to have a deeply compelling romance even as the only part of the couple that had any screen time at all lol. Or Maid Marian and Robin Hood in that old Disney adaptation. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," in the words of Lady Kluck :P
Couples in Regency novels HAVE TO be rarely/never alone together. That’s how their society worked. The secret is making the feeling of intimacy happen even with others around.
Think that's if they already were or wanted to be together. Like Ladyhawke kind of thing, can be tension building or gutwrenching. But usually chemitry has to be there first for the fact that they are apart to matter
@@lauragranger9813 I loved Ladyhawke but I think we’re in the minority.
Dang that line from Lady Klucks hit me right in the heart
6 hits hard. I read a book that the two characters were flawed, but in no way able to help each other get better. Their personalities just clashed. I DNF'd it because being together literally made their flaws worse. This was a romance, so it wasn't a purposeful thing.
Oh yeah, I read one of those too recently... Under the Oak tree. At the end, I almost hated every single page.
This makes me feel so much better about my WIP, I'm not doing any of these for my main couple. Phew!
Love at first sight.... Gurl!! My hubby and I have 10 years and three mids under our belts now and it atarted with eye contact when i walked in a room and we saw each other and there was this magnetic attraction. There was something about him and something about us that we just knew, "Yup. Thats the woman i am going to have a family with and be with for the rest of my life." And for me, "That man... He's going to be something in my life. Oh boy. Welp, let's avoid thi- nope. Can't. Just... Focus on your goals, he wasn't a part of them.... Focus... Nope. I can't. Welp, here we go." And then we got to know each other as friends. He was playing it "cool" and i was trying to pump the breaks. Good conversations occured, honest ones because there was no expectations. But it was pretty much attraction and a knowing from first sight. I get it... Rare, but it does happen and isn't as unbelievable as some may this.
Please, write a romance novel with this story. Do it now! ;)
@baahcusegamer4530 There are two mes it feels like a romance novel. There's been highs and lows and the funniest but if it all... We literally should have met SO MANY times when we were kids. I even saw him perform in a play in highschool, his one and ONLY performance, BECAUSE I went to watch one of my long time friends performance after she transferred to a new school district. Like... Wild!
They say to write what you know about, which is probably why I’ve never been able to attempt romantic relationships in my literature. But this was definitely most helpful!
So for my couple of characters :
- They spend much time together
- They fall in love... A little to quickly so i will change that 😅
- They never tease eachother like that
- They are touching themselves very often 😂
- They are not sick of eachothers
- They are always challenging eachothers like this
- And no, there chemistry is unique so...
Okay, thanks for this video, it's very helpfull !
Well, in a movie, there's only a couple of hours,so the falling in love has to be quick.
Interesting that many of these tips can work in real-life relationships:
1. Try to spend a lot of time together
2. Don't be blinded by love. You should never make vital decisions, like dating, on a whim
3. Teasing each other about other's love interest can be a huge dealbreaker. Try not to live in the past.
4. Physical touch is vital to keep a relationship going, especially marriage. HOWEVER, be mindful about physical touches. Physical touch, like holding hands or kissing, is the glue that sticks two people together. Especially 'exploring each other's bodies'. Both of you will be unforgettable in each other's mind because of the intimate thing you share together. And this also works when you are dating the wrong person!
5. If you get sick of each other after a while, that's a good sign your relationship is not working.
6. Most of the time, if you're in a relationship, your weaknesses will be put on a magnifying glass. Sometimes, this is a good sign, because the more intimate you get, the relationship will pull out the "real you" and it allows you to be vulnerable with each other.
7. You shouldn't cheat. That should be self-explanatory.
Wanna make me stop rooting for a couple? Make the man say or do something out of character that upsets the woman and the woman doesn't question it. She just calls him a monster never wants to see him again and they start ghosting each other.
Bonus points if it’s overheard from a conversation with another character, with no context.
@@thatonepossum5766 ughhh I hate misunderstanding tropes. Especially when they don't make the woman listen to the man's explanation. Shrek already did this trope
Watch Jane ere. Mr rochester SUCKSSS
Mako and Raleigh from Pacific Rim is a very good example of building chemistry right, and they didn't even end up together
Then why do I remember that they ended up together? 😃
I mean you could still head canon that they get together. The only thing they don’t do is kiss at the end. They hug instead.
Because heteronormativity
@@yoonahkang7384 Pretty sure it's a straight coupling
@@billy_romeo I think they’re answering the question, “Why do I remember that they ended up together?”
Sometimes it can be good to bring a secondary character for the plot of attempting to break apart the couple who are strongly in love.
This can make things quite interesting especially when that secondary character becomes the type of an antagonist that has a crazed obsession to steal the man/woman from their lover. Depending how far that antagonist is willing to go.
I hate when one of the characters really wrongs the other (abandoned them, cheats on them or even kills their family) and it's painted as "romantic " or something and then one of them nearly dies and the other needs to save them, but they never even talk about the issue!!!
14:56 how to friendzone a love rival. Just repeating the mistakes on purpose. Genius
A kind of romance that I've recently discovered could be interesting to write is when two people who should hate each other because their personalities are so different, actually meet and find each other's differences intriguing and it balances them out. This leads them to become friends but of course it isn't easy, due to them being so different. So they need to be mature and find a way to compromise.
Thank you, Abbie! I've been a bit discouraged the past couple of weeks as I'm working on the first draft of my next book because my heroine lacks agency, and I know it's hard for readers to genuinely like characters who are passive. So this afternoon, I watched your 7 Deadly Romance Mistakes video and was instantly struck by #6. I see now that my characters need to challenge each other's faults and weaknesses, not only to raise the conflict and stakes, but also to provide proof of their individual agency. An added bonus is that when they challenge each other, it adds great depth to the romance, proving that they are truly coming to know each other instead of simply being infatuated. Now, I've got a few great scenes plotted out and am ready to let the sparks (of various natures) fly. Thanks for helping me figure this out!
The touch thing is nailed perfectly with Kanej in SoC duology. Their slow burn was literally outta this world and I don't think I've ever read anything with as strong sense of intimacy as the bathroom scene (ifykyk)
The thing is, they both have some sort of trauma connected to physical touch and it's just taken into account so beautifully, I was at loss of words while reading the books.
Leigh Bardugo did a phenomenal job with them.
The only point where a relationship can be perfect is when the focus of the book is not on the relationship itself but on the problems coming from outside that the couple must go through.
Ironically, Anthony and Kate from Bridgerton S2 do a lot of those "no-no's" (rarely ever alone, almost never touch, encourage other love interests, attraction at first sight, ... etc) and they're a very very popular and high chemistry pairing ! So I guess it depends on how it's written / those tropes are handled.
Excellent film choices for examples. Take a look at "Six Days, Seven Nights," ...and add another winner of an example .
Do you know the name of the film with the woman in red who ended up in a trial? It looks interesting.
@@kaleigh_hill it's a TV show called Miss Scarlet and the Duke
@@serenenya6548 Thank you so much!
What about the one with the red headed woman at 3:30?
Ironically this helped me write two characters who appear to be potential love interests but are never meant to be
Frieren breaks or at least bends most of these rules and the romance is quite good.
Frieren is nearly never alone with himmel, they rarely touch, they never directly addresses each other's flaws unless its lightly teasing one another, and he's dead most of the series. Yet, i hope they can work something out --if only letting her wish him permanent farewell.
*sniff* he ded :")
Also, one thing that kills any romance for me is when in a relationship, one of the characters tries to change their love interest to make them a better fit.
For example, A and B are dating but not yet in an official serious relationship. A notices something about B that A thinks is bad so A tries to talk B into changing this and B is just written to go along with it. Maybe there's even that ultimatum of "it's either you change, or this is over". This is just really a heavy killer that makes me really question why both of these characters are even dating each other.
There's always two in a relationship and what I just explained is exactly what I hate about a lot of romances, the guy always has to change for the woman, WHY? It doesn't make sense! Why does SHE get what she wants while the guy has to give up his true personality? Why does miss demandy-pants not need to change? Stuff like this always makes me furious.
Love at first sight!! ❤ (they're completely platonic but like they just met on a random summer day when they were 7 or smth and became besties)
i love letting my characters find each other and fall in love themselves!
This is so helpful, thank you! I’m working on trying to figure out my premise so the love interests are forced to be together. Maybe more tension is what I need. I’d love to see you break down famous fictional couples and explain why they work!
Wasn’t a fan of Jane Austen before finding this channel, but here 4 yrs later… I’m starting to get excited about her work. 😭
Yeah about the falling in love in a short amount of time, I was thinking that Titanic. Probably a good structure to use on how to build that tension even if it happens during 3 days or something lol.
Yes good one! They were in that forced proximity on the ship but plenty of opportunities to share each others world, like when he took Rose below deck and she dances with him and his fellow cheapsiders and then also the ship was big enough for some ‘alone time’.
@@michellethornton7926 Yes! And then trying to survive together in a time of crisis sealed the deal.
As I am processing what you taught us today, I thought about a thriller and suspense, "who wants to kill the mayer this time and can we stop him in time?" book series by Tom Clancy that my ex owned. In the first three parts the MC and a colleague of his had a secret crush on eachother, light enough to be a subplot in that genre, but since can also not keep up the same secret crush for 30 books in a row(!), something had to happen with them, so in part 3 they finally kissed. And while Tom could still keep me awake, wondering who wanted to ɓomb city hall this time, the romantic subplot had become useless and boring. It didn't add to the story, because the change in their relationship... It was almost like the writer kept that subplot out of necessity or something... So I would say, as number 8: write this lovestory for a reason, let these people be together for a reason, convince us that the situation really needs these two together, if your romance is a subplot.
how did you KNOW I was searching for a video for chemistry the other day? Youre magical. MAGICAL.
Having chemistry with someone else was my main pet peeve with the Stormlight Archives (first three books) it actually got drawn out for so long that I found myself becoming very annoyed with the book in general. Good advice!
I think that Edmund and Fanny Price from the Mansfield Park novel by Jane Austen does exactly these 7 mistakes because of which Fanny's chemistry with Crawford looks and feels much better!
YES!!!!!OMG I was thniking the same thing! I was shipping Fanny with Henry the whole book, I didnt like her romance with Edmund at all, it felt so forced.
@@taylardotson8100 Yeah exactly! I don't understand the reason why Fanny had to end up with Edmund while Crawford did all the hard work to impress her like getting her older brother a suitable job and also visiting her in her poor family house.
Edmund's change of attitude towards Fanny at last felt like a last minute plot change:(
I'd have to disagree with the "falling in love too quickly" part. It is very possible in real life for people to fall in love quickly. It happened to me and my fiancé, and we've been together for over ten years, planning to get married soon.
For ‘never or don’t constantly don’t have time alone together’ is the total UP for my two main romantic characters. The actual book is revolving around the main character, Sophie (female, eleven, mortal), and a mage she becomes friends with, Toby (male, eleven, mage) when she stumbles into a different dimension.
They stumble upon others and are mostly seen as friends for the entire first book, but during their journey to find ‘the frequency’, which is the drama, they spend all their time alone together.
In the first book, Sophie only sees Toby as a companion in the actual writing, though her actions prove otherwise. She has major trust issues and is new to this world, and she doesn’t typically show any affection. But sometimes, she’ll protect Toby from monsters, defend him or stay loyal to him during troublesome people moments, or she’ll just do small little protective details, such as:
Example one: (Toby has light magic as his mage power) Toby offers to cast the light instead of her using her flashlight, in case she needs it when they split. Sophie snaps that she can use the flashlight and she’ll be fine, making the point, ‘I doubt you’d even last a minute’, not as her seeing him as weak, but her worrying about his limits and how he might need to defend himself in future moments.
Example two: Toby gives Sophie, since she has no powers, instead weapons choices. She takes her share and they continue on their adventure, after Toby pays for the weapons with his own money (which he needs and has been saving up for personal reasons, but point still stands). They run into an opponent with some sort of ‘sneak power’ (animals or creatures has a wider verity for powers than mages) and they get snuck up on. Sophie uses her weapons, though struggling as she’d just got them, and defends Toby, not watching her own back. Toby quickly backs her up, mostly since he’s a total sweetheart and golden retriever boy.
For Toby, he at first sees Sophie as a pretty girl and develops a small ‘crush’, but he doesn’t actually like her romantically yet. He’s just never had a friend before and doesn’t talk to many females, and he’s never met someone from another dimension and finds her incredibly interesting. He thinks he has a crush on her for a small amount of time before he realizes she won’t like him back and they’re better off as friends (this does affect their future romantic relationship).
I'm about halfway into my first romance and they've found true love. Now is their moment for Happily Ever After. They'd better appreciate it, because I'm really going to put them through the wringer in the next chapter.
Yes! I'm working on a Warrior Cats fanfiction and I want to use the Internal Conflict and tips in this video for a romantic couple
Abbey sort of looks like Elizabeth Bennet, is that just me? Great video as always!!! 💚✨
😱Wait she does and I love it! ❤
Me realizing that’s the reason i love book couples such as Percabeth, Sokeefe, and Spensa x Jorgen
A few of my romance pet peeves of late: 1) the characters are overly jealous of ‘potential’ competition, 2) when discussing their relationship in hindsight, one or both express how they knew they loved the other person right from the beginning (it’s like the rest of the story that built their relationship was pointless then!), and 3) a potential competition (usually a man), just meeting the other person (usually a woman) and their not yet exclusive partner, so they automatically like the other person (the woman) - it frequently comes across as two men trying to prove they’re the more manly man because they can get the girl (aka the prize); it’s not about them actually loving the woman for who she is.
This is what killed my interest in the Rogue x Gambit ship in the X-Men series.
I just wanted to comment to thank you for making videos like this and for free! I always go to my English teachers asking for advice but they're not available 24/7 so thank you for making videos like this, so young writers like me can catch our mistakes and fix them so down the line our writing is as best as can be!
Could you do mockumentary tips ? Those are my favorite genre and i couldn’t know if you would take request . I would be happy in watching your videos again .
So, I had a situation where a vice president tried to kiss my mc. She shut him down. I also have two side character's in my current story. Thanks again Abbie
If you want to read something new in the romance genre, you must try Sobers Rodrigues' book "Mates". It's so amazing.
I just finished The Otherworld! 7 STAR BOOK!
@@ManicLandemier you can try Mates. It will revitalize ur own romance life.
What's the premise?
What also kills the whole chemistry is when for example the boy says to the girl things like: "I know you like me." and teases her with that. There's nothing romantic in that, it's just annoying and makes the character less likable because OF COURSE we all know that she likes him but if he points that out suddenly that excitement about their relationship vanishes.
To me it is, romanticizing Stockholm syndrome and lack communication on some misunderstanding too often.
Abbie - Interesting that you switch your swatch between left and right a few times in this video.
3:18 so basically..."there's only one bed" will work every time 😂😂😂
OH NO. This video made me REALLY stressed about my two main characters! They don't constantly have alone time, but when they do, they touch each other and get productive in their relationship's chemistry.
However, I'm realizing that they liked each other as soon as they met (not love at first sight though) because FMC saved MMC. The latter lacking self-confidence and trusted friends, he immediately gets attached to FMC in a sort of pathetic way (because he quickly becomes enamored with those who show support to him), but then, he slowly learns more about her and gets genuinely attached to her in a loving way.
Is this interesting if two characters like each other from the start? Like, the opposite of *enemies*-to-lovers?
in my opinion, i think it can still be interesting! enemies to lovers is popular because the conflict is naturally baked into the dynamic, but not every good romance needs to be enemies to lovers! they can have personal flaws or external issues they need to work through to be together, even if they like each other! like maybe the FMC is scared to let others rely on her because of a previous experience in her life, but she's still drawn to MMC and it creates a push and pull between them as he learns to be more self-confident. or maybe they want to be together but they need to solve an external obstacle. the point is, i think you can still tell a compelling story where characters push each other to grow and like each other at the same time - write the story that appeals to you! :3
I think that's totally fine! In real life, people can fall in love quickly, especially if their life is saved.
Not every relationship needs to be enemies to lovers. Yeah sometimes there is something from the start. Not insta love, but rather something that makes one of the characters or two of them to take liking in each other that turns to love under some circumstances. So imo it's totally fine! Just make the relationship interesting and believable.
That is friends to lovers. It can start as a casual friendship or a “kindred spirit” friendship without being a coup de foudre. Or there can be an instant attraction that dies down a lot & just simmers in the background. Both work.
Sounds good to me
I don't think you always have to follow any advice down to every detail. There's always room for experiments and stuff.
In my main story i'm writing (i write a lot simultaneously..) it's not really "enemy" to lovers. Yes the guy is cold and distant at first, and acts annoyed etc. But the MC quickly notices this is just a mask he's hiding behind, as otherwise his behaviour contradicts this "leave me alone" attitude (for example, him helping her up when she falls, even asking if she got hurt). Also my MC doesn't act mean towards him, she's always being nice and polite to him even when he tells her to leave him alone or that his problems are none of her business, because she knows he's only putting on an act by that point. And yeah, they quickly find they have a lot in common and my MC wants to be friends, especially since they live in the same house (shared living) and she generally wants to get along with everyone. But seeing their similarities, they do get friendly with each other quick and I suppose you can notice the chemistry between them very early, but they do not like, immediatly fall in love or something, it's just that both of them feel that certain something between them and that's what makes the guy open up to the MC and what makes the MC choose to help him regardless of his behaviour. I plan to address that later on in the story.
Abbie, you're a genius! I don't know if you know telepathy, but you bring out videos at the EXACT MOMENT we need them!
I only have one question - what if you're writing long distance relationships where the characters are NOT able to be together because of other bonds? How can you adhere to proximity in this case?
You ain't lying lol I'm writing a story of a French succubus falling in love with an American human this video came out of nowhere. Taking her advice is great. so far I haven't messed up any of that. I'm trying to weave the supernatural elements into their connection since it's different from regular people talking and falling for each other... I'm having a lot of fun. 😊
From what I know, what I understood from your comment, and based on my unasked-for opinion, you should turn the distance into a real, daily, emotional issue for your characters, especially if they need this lovey-dovey physical contact in their couple. Since you can't have literal proximity between them, you should show a figurative one where they yearn for each other.
If you want them to stay together for the entirety of your story, then internal conflict is the key. Make them suffer inside because of the distance (and maybe because of others' teasing, taunting, or even personal feelings for the two characters in question). If you want their relationship to last, then they must occasionally think of one another. Let them be reminded of their partner when they see a place where they had spent time together, hear a song that the other likes, stare longingly at a picture of them before rising from bed/after work, etc. Just little things in their routine that prove they cherish the other character.
Additionally, they should somehow keep contact with one another, lest their feelings evaporate (it's human nature to turn to someone else when we miss the one we want). Let one character write a letter/text their beloved sometimes, and show how much the latter is happy/how their heart flutters at that small gesture. Let that special communication be the other's engine, the fifth wheel that keeps them afloat in dark times. The less frequently they'll communicate with each other, the more precious a message from them will be.
Dunno if I said anything interesting, but hope it helped.
@ivystead
OMG THIS IS ITTTT. My couple does have problems with the distance because one of them is military and uk how that turns out.
But this could actually help a lot!!!!
Thanks so much!!!
I reckon you could solve this problem by having them think about the other constantly, and have it be known that they talk often. You could showcase their chemistry through a featured conversation. Have them think deeply about the other, ask questions, imagine being with them
There’s always the “We were on the phone foe 3 hours & I can’t remember anything we said, but it was great” style of proximity. Physical proximity makes it easier, but emotional time together can do the job if it’s done well.
I laughed when you talked about eyes meeting across the room! I noticed a man across the room at the same time he noticed me and we have been together for 22 years since that night (in a bar, lol) July we will celebrate 20 years of marriage :)
I don't like or read romance novels or watch many romance films, but most stories tend to feature some form of romance so a lot of this is stuff I learned either through practice or observation. I'm working on my second novel that's mystery/action, but a romance plays a keep plot element to the story so I figured I'd brush up. A lot of this is advice is very accurate, especially the "challenge each other's beliefs" and "touching" scenes, it really helps to build up that tension between the characters before they get to sexy stuff.
Ok im not sure if u have read it but MXTX's grandmaster of demonic cultivation has one of the most natural romantic progressions ever and tis absolutely beautiful
I had a "love at first sight" moment with a girl, and... yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.
Breaking up with her 5+ years later shattered my entire Identity.
Nice, informative writing advice!!
The chemistry with another character is the worst one, imo. Especially when I know the creator's intent. I often even like the chosen couple being written, but I wince because they don't see how they're making a different character into a much more compelling love interest....
4:29 Why was my first thought Romeo and Juliet...?
This was so great! Thank you so much. This video will help me not fall into these traps!
For #3, just want to say, this can be a fine and legit thing if it's in a polyamorous relationship. I'm polyamorous, and my partners and I would love teasing each other about potential love interests 😂
This was good! I realized I've done some things right in my WIP and other things terribly wrong. Lol! Off to edit! Thanks, Abbie!
Oh, awesome! I have two major couples in my grimdark trilogy, I get to hear that I instinctively dodged all the 'don't' bullets! 😂Now, I feel very Neo-like.
This is super helpful for me. I’m totally going to use all these to highlight why characters shouldn’t be together.
My idea was to make all my characters have romantic chemistry and never confirm any cannon relationship but I don’t think I’ll do that anymore
No. This is the ultimate troll and I adore it.
Make them all kiss at the end.
In a short story the characters could have a back story together, work mates, school buddies and take the next step in the story.
Thanks, Abbie!
About «They have chemestry with someone else», I recongnize it in Avatar, The Last Airbender, with Katara and Suko. I enyoing so much watching they together. Their intimacy moments are a few, but so good. I think if we feeling that another couple can be better than the principal one is a clue that we need to improve so much more the chemestry between the last one.
Thank you so much for your advises!
I have the habbit of always putting a "troubled guy finds salvation in a girl" relationship in my little stories. In whatever fashion.
This list really helps me out a lot, thank you very much!
Such a great video, as always. But seeing that clip of Miss Scarlet & The Duke was like a punch to the gut.
RIP William and Eliza and all that beautiful chemistry 😭
When the community doesn’t ship randomly. I feel like this is pretty major more so for animations and whatnot than books, but some people have very cool and creative ideas for shipping!
Your pulse on your audience is incredible. Thank you so much for this. 🎉❤
I enjoy these kinds of videos. I am currently working on a new project that focuses on the romantic chemistry between two characters, and it focuses on the challenges between them on the road to getting married. They have been written as friends to lovers, and the challenges they face are on an emotional level that they have to come to grips with about their significant other.
Now it really seems that writing a memorable, enjoyable romantic story is literally the hardest.
I literally did a plot where the male, was currently in full effect of a concussion and the female was just annoyed by his nonsense. That’s how they met.
I can share one example for the second rule: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Both of the main characters fell in love at first sight. However, their love was mysterious, magical, and also painful. I think the plot would have struggled significantly if Mikhail Bulgakov had decided to take a different approach.
I love #6. Just what I needed to hear for my upcoming book.
and number 3 I actually think can be executed well, in "call me by your name" both elio and oliver talk about their other love interests, chiara and marzia, but it doesn't kill any chemistry instead it makes it stronger
Number 2, definitely! It was the one niggle I had with 'Les Miserables' and the romance between Cosette and Marius - it was literally, as 'Cinema Sins' satirized - that Marius "falls in love with a woman he met through a fence!"
Did you read the book though?
@@carolineclayton568 I haven't - gonna wait until I've got a couple of years to spare, as I understand it's quite hefty! But I can appreciate their relationship probably ISN'T like that in the book - it had to be condensed in that way for a musical because of the way musical theatre is structured. And I do know Eponine's character is a lot less sympathetic in the book too - she's actually quite manipulative and scheming, rather than just forlornly accepting her fate as the One He'll Never Choose.
Now, it makes sense why two of my characters felt boring together. They grew up together in a situation where they did not look elsewhere unless they had to, and it worked...but it was boring. It made much more sense to make them like close siblings since that was possible , too.
Im writing a novel and this is very good advice. I needed this!
When I read thrown of glass it was crazy how the FL kept talking about how the prince eyes were pretty or how he was handsome while also saying how she wanted to kill him in the same sentence
i started writing my debut novel today and this video was so useful!! thank you as always, abbie
I like the idea of them falling in love without becoming in love. As The story moves forward the relationship grows, but by the end of the story they are not quite there. You finish with them looking to the future, with the excitement they may have found the one. They go off hopeful but there is no certainty.
When I first tried making romance, people have been drawn to my ships. I didn't realize it was because these mistakes were being avoided. But now that I know for sure, I can focus more on some of the main ships of my characters. Find more creative ways to interact with them, but also keep the chemistry more realistic by giving a journey that helps them grow together while they also learn to grow on their own as they would expect to do most of the time. But the romantic portion of my story is very delicate so it's good to learn these tips so I can handle the romance very carefully.
The last thing we want to do is send a bad message to the world that can drive a reader to make those mistakes in real life and ruin, not just romance, but heck, even marriages.
As far as how romance goes. I find the love competition making the story more interesting.