👌More videos can be found on this topic at ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswh0ZRuaMhfeOpQav_B5g7G5.html&si=a8i78OGUzfI34nkZ ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
@@DocSnipes That this behavior can be changed, my mom is super critical and judgmental and I found myself behaving this way even when I don't want to.
Thanks Doc. 7 years into my C-PTSD active recovery program, I can attest to people do judge to feel safe. This is especially true for those of us with an high I.Q. A good video to watch over and over(and over 😂). I appreciate you!💌✨
@@LilBrownieD I'm in my own personal recovery. I follow Doc Snipes and Tim Fletcher and work out everything else on paper and talking to my friend also in recovery. Covid changed everything for me in terms of esp. my mental health and treatment.
Were we hurt by the person we are judging? Or were we reminded of hurt by the person who we judge? Or does what the person we are judging represent something that makes us feel insecure, hurt, or scared?
Judgement is also a feeling/thought pattern we have when we (perhaps don’t realize) think people need to change to do things the way we think is better. It can also be a (ineffective) strategy to change people.
Oh, so this is why some people are so critical to themselves and others. They believe they're weak, so the perceived threat is being tossed aside by someone who is deemed more powerful in some manner. Thanks for the strategies to help people that live this way.
Great video, Doc. I have a HUGE problem with being judgmental, and you're right, it's aggressive. I usually judge people for "allowing" themselves to be victimized and treated badly, I think because I have a history of extreme childhood abuse, in which I was used to fulfill my loved ones needs for a whipping boy, among other things. So, I'll be doing some personal exploration on this subject. Also, you hair looks great!
Thank you for this video. It's informative and helpful in understanding behavior. It encourages me to be proactive in doing my part making earth a better place to live.
my judgment of people is basically depends on my favorite person. i never mind who dislike me or say something about me. but when i see someone criticize my favorite then i feel angry and judgmental about those person after than i dislike them and can't stop my irritated feeling for them.
Boojitoos in my language is (you little ones) and It's another word for a (mother hen and her little chick's) and saying Boojitoos to my siblings, (can be parenting) (not judgemental) but it can be judgemental if they think it's me being judgemental hello I'm just your oldest brother nothing personal it's just that I care about my siblings you know doc? Gee I wish they understand how much I care about them like my mother or father care about them too. My oldest brother like the word boojitoos. Being Mindful is the respectful word, sometimes its hard to understand your own siblings you know Doc. Just trying to be helpful here hello.nice to see you again Doc you have been so helpful in my life you know,
@@DocSnipes They understand so they just pretend I don't exist at least they are listening to me and being helpful to each other that's what families are all about.
i would ask yourself if their financial irresponsibility is a fact. If it is a fact you are not necessarily being judgemental, you may be recognizing a fact. Did they make one financial mistake, or is it a pattern of behavior? AND is it a threat to you? Will this behavior negatively impact you? Also remember that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
As Jenny suggests, ask yourself if your partner’s financial irresponsibility is a fact. Has your partner made a single mistake or is this part of their behavior? Thanks for watching the video!
If we easily judge others we must ask, how we may be judging ourselves…? Or perhaps we were judged very early on and internalized it and now project than on to others because it’s been instilled in ourselves
I thought I heard "You can never be President because You're senile for example, uh no, because were really moving towards that right now" Ooops 😀😄 10:31
Is it judgmental to assume that whoever makes a bad impression on me must have ASD? As soon as someone strikes me as odd or obnoxious or abnormal, I immediately assume ASD. Is that so wrong?
It is important to consider the context (we all have bad days and can be jerks unintentionally). Also consider the person's cultural background and whether they are triggering feelings you have toward people in your past or maybe you are triggering something (trauma) from their past. Finally, labeling them with a diagnosis based on a gut feeling is extremely pathologizing.
Understanding Judgmental Behavior Being judgmental is often a learned behavior that can be unlearned. It's usually a reaction to feeling unsafe or unlovable, and it's a way of pushing people away or down with your thoughts. Strategies to Overcome Judgmental Behavior 1. Self-awareness: Listen to your inner voice and when it becomes critical or judgmental, stop and observe what's going on. Restate whatever that critical inner voice said in a more compassionate or inspiring way. 2. Practice acceptance: Accept people as they are, without judging their actions or behaviors. This includes accepting yourself and your own imperfections. 3. Change your inner dialogue: Remind yourself that you're safe and loved. Start each day with a positive affirmation, such as "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and people like me." 4. Explore your judgments: Write down judgmental thoughts you have each day and explore them. Identify what threat caused you to have that judgmental thought or aggressive reaction. Is It Better to Avoid People? Avoiding people is not necessarily the best solution. Instead, it's more beneficial to work on changing your judgmental behavior. Remember, being judgmental is often a defense mechanism to protect oneself. Once you feel safe and loved, it will be easier to be less defensive and less judgmental. However, if certain individuals consistently trigger judgmental thoughts and feelings, it might be helpful to limit your interactions with them while you work on changing your behavior. In conclusion, it's important to remember that change takes time and patience. If you're struggling to manage your judgmental thoughts, consider seeking professional help. You can watch the video on 6 Tips to Stop Being Judgmental for FREE at: ua-cam.com/video/C0NHnO46owg/v-deo.html
disagree. I am being judgemental on "something" due to my (more than once) bad experience with that "something". I don't born to have an "opinion" about that , nor did my parents knew anything about that "something". It's all about the number of times I dealt with "something". That something never a "threat" to me. I just looked down on "sotmething" as i think they are Inferior (in certain way).
👌More videos can be found on this topic at
ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswh0ZRuaMhfeOpQav_B5g7G5.html&si=a8i78OGUzfI34nkZ
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
Judgementalism and perfectionism are often found together
Sometimes judgement is an (ineffective) way of intellectualizing away our fear of being rejecting by someone who is different than us.
Yikes. I needed this. I have been working on it, but I can be very judgemental.
I loved it when you said "You learned it, you can unlearn it."
I am so glad the video was what you needed. What tips will you use to stop being judgmental?
This was spot on, caused a paradigm shift within my soul ❤
Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
@@DocSnipes That this behavior can be changed, my mom is super critical and judgmental and I found myself behaving this way even when I don't want to.
Thanks Doc. 7 years into my C-PTSD active recovery program, I can attest to people do judge to feel safe. This is especially true for those of us with an high I.Q. A good video to watch over and over(and over 😂). I appreciate you!💌✨
Would you be willing to share your cptsd program? I am looking for such groups
@@LilBrownieD I'm in my own personal recovery. I follow Doc Snipes and Tim Fletcher and work out everything else on paper and talking to my friend also in recovery. Covid changed everything for me in terms of esp. my mental health and treatment.
@@moxiemcmahon I got ya, thank you for sharing!
Were we hurt by the person we are judging? Or were we reminded of hurt by the person who we judge? Or does what the person we are judging represent something that makes us feel insecure, hurt, or scared?
Very good questions 👍
Thanks I sure needed that love you sister.
I am having a problem with coping with my judgy mind, it drains a lot of my daily enerygy.
thank you for making this video!
You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching
Judgement is also a feeling/thought pattern we have when we (perhaps don’t realize) think people need to change to do things the way we think is better.
It can also be a (ineffective) strategy to change people.
THANK YOU DR. SNIPES FOR ÉDUCATION, SUPPORT, AND BEING HERE ON UA-cam WHEN I NEEDED TO HEAR WHAT YOU CHOSE TO BE THE TOPIC
You’re so welcome. I am so grateful for you being here and watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Oh, so this is why some people are so critical to themselves and others. They believe they're weak, so the perceived threat is being tossed aside by someone who is deemed more powerful in some manner. Thanks for the strategies to help people that live this way.
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What tip will you use first to stop being judgmental?
There is a choice to use energy to get bent out of shape or to become motivated to achieve great things. Thank you for highlighting this!
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help
Dr. S, this is a very comprehensive video, excellent work!
Such a great episode. Now I have more understanding why a friend judged me, was very critical of me. Thank you.
Great video, Doc. I have a HUGE problem with being judgmental, and you're right, it's aggressive. I usually judge people for "allowing" themselves to be victimized and treated badly, I think because I have a history of extreme childhood abuse, in which I was used to fulfill my loved ones needs for a whipping boy, among other things. So, I'll be doing some personal exploration on this subject. Also, you hair looks great!
I do have expectations for my kids in the home while they live here. But when they get their own home I will abide by their wishes when I visit
being judgemental is necessary to your survival in today's world
Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Home come ?
One cure for judgement is radical acceptance
"I think there are exceptions to every never."
I appreciate you watching the video
Looking forward to seeing 300k subs. You are doing great work.
Thank you for this video. It's informative and helpful in understanding behavior. It encourages me to be proactive in doing my part making earth a better place to live.
my judgment of people is basically depends on my favorite person. i never mind who dislike me or say something about me. but when i see someone criticize my favorite then i feel angry and judgmental about those person after than i dislike them and can't stop my irritated feeling for them.
Thanks for watching the video and for sharing
I was like always right and had to be my way. Now I enjoy differences .
Thanx - Exactly what I have told and wrote about for several years
You're very welcome
To use your energy to improve the next moment.
Yes. Thank you for watching the video
Things can be wrong in general, but we still don’t get to judge. We don’t know what their issues are and why they engage in behaviors that are wrong.
I find that I am most judgemental when I'm agree.
Some people are always right and everybody else is wrong, some people!
Right we can see things differently
Boojitoos in my language is (you little ones) and It's another word for a (mother hen and her little chick's) and saying Boojitoos to my siblings, (can be parenting) (not judgemental) but it can be judgemental if they think it's me being judgemental hello I'm just your oldest brother nothing personal it's just that I care about my siblings you know doc? Gee I wish they understand how much I care about them like my mother or father care about them too. My oldest brother like the word boojitoos. Being Mindful is the respectful word, sometimes its hard to understand your own siblings you know Doc. Just trying to be helpful here hello.nice to see you again Doc you have been so helpful in my life you know,
I sometimes think it's better if I just duck tape my mouth so I don't hurt their feelings, seriously.
I am so glad to be o help and I am sorry to read about your siblings. Have you tried telling them the things you wrote?
@@DocSnipes They understand so they just pretend I don't exist at least they are listening to me and being helpful to each other that's what families are all about.
I'm always judging my insides to other peoples outsides
I need decernment on judgment toward a financially irresponsible partner. Is he just different or should I run????
i would ask yourself if their financial irresponsibility is a fact. If it is a fact you are not necessarily being judgemental, you may be recognizing a fact. Did they make one financial mistake, or is it a pattern of behavior?
AND is it a threat to you? Will this behavior negatively impact you?
Also remember that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
As Jenny suggests, ask yourself if your partner’s financial irresponsibility is a fact. Has your partner made a single mistake or is this part of their behavior? Thanks for watching the video!
If we easily judge others we must ask, how we may be judging ourselves…? Or perhaps we were judged very early on and internalized it and now project than on to others because it’s been instilled in ourselves
I thought I heard "You can never be President because You're senile for example, uh no, because were really moving towards that right now"
Ooops 😀😄 10:31
Is it judgmental to assume that whoever makes a bad impression on me must have ASD? As soon as someone strikes me as odd or obnoxious or abnormal, I immediately assume ASD. Is that so wrong?
It is important to consider the context (we all have bad days and can be jerks unintentionally). Also consider the person's cultural background and whether they are triggering feelings you have toward people in your past or maybe you are triggering something (trauma) from their past. Finally, labeling them with a diagnosis based on a gut feeling is extremely pathologizing.
@@DocSnipes But people with ASD usually have inferior social skills or a weak filter, right?
What if you can't? Is it better to avoid people?
Understanding Judgmental Behavior
Being judgmental is often a learned behavior that can be unlearned. It's usually a reaction to feeling unsafe or unlovable, and it's a way of pushing people away or down with your thoughts.
Strategies to Overcome Judgmental Behavior
1. Self-awareness: Listen to your inner voice and when it becomes critical or judgmental, stop and observe what's going on. Restate whatever that critical inner voice said in a more compassionate or inspiring way.
2. Practice acceptance: Accept people as they are, without judging their actions or behaviors. This includes accepting yourself and your own imperfections.
3. Change your inner dialogue: Remind yourself that you're safe and loved. Start each day with a positive affirmation, such as "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and people like me."
4. Explore your judgments: Write down judgmental thoughts you have each day and explore them. Identify what threat caused you to have that judgmental thought or aggressive reaction.
Is It Better to Avoid People?
Avoiding people is not necessarily the best solution. Instead, it's more beneficial to work on changing your judgmental behavior. Remember, being judgmental is often a defense mechanism to protect oneself. Once you feel safe and loved, it will be easier to be less defensive and less judgmental.
However, if certain individuals consistently trigger judgmental thoughts and feelings, it might be helpful to limit your interactions with them while you work on changing your behavior.
In conclusion, it's important to remember that change takes time and patience. If you're struggling to manage your judgmental thoughts, consider seeking professional help.
You can watch the video on 6 Tips to Stop Being Judgmental for FREE at: ua-cam.com/video/C0NHnO46owg/v-deo.html
@@DocSnipes I'm having trouble with number 2 it's hard
Iim starting to believe i have ocd instead of being judgemental... Its like someone is inserting offensive thoughts in my head
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video
Discernment/intuition/evaluation = judgement - Shame
🙏🙏🙏🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💚💚💚
Thanks for watching the video
disagree. I am being judgemental on "something" due to my (more than once) bad experience with that "something". I don't born to have an "opinion" about that , nor did my parents knew anything about that "something". It's all about the number of times I dealt with "something". That something never a "threat" to me. I just looked down on "sotmething" as i think they are Inferior (in certain way).
Thanks for watching and for sharing