I remember the most toxic woman in my workplace and she came up to me in a hallway and said," You are such a good worker, You are so strong, You are going to get this new job because you deserve it BUT I think you smile too much and you can sometimes..... I caught on immediatley... I turned and walked away. As I am walking down this long hallway she is still speaking as if to hold onto her power. I took my power back, by shutting down her negativity. I wish her all the best and send her off with love. I am very interested in dynamics of human behaviour, personality etc. and I now know this is called a Poison Arrow or Passive-Aggressiveness. So.. to men and women out there. Shut. It . Down. Do not engage. DNE your new favorite acronym. Big Huggs
Thanks for sharing, there are so many stories like this. I love the idea of calling it a poison arrow. So glad you sent them off with love and know that it's their own insecurity.
Interesting! I found this aggression even more in certain cultures such as Hispanics and Caucasians, less in Asian culture, and almost none in Middle Eastern culture- we should all rise up to the occasion and support each other!
Terrific Talk, Joy! I appreciated that you clarified how feminism is for everyone - it’s not, nor has it ever been, women vs men. Under systemic oppression, everybody loses. One terrific book to add is Mark Gerzon’s “A Choice of Heroes,” which deconstructs the roles that are forced upon men in patriarchal societies; while there is more power wielded y that group, there is still oppression.
@@Drjoywiggins If you go to a university and look at the lecture halls for high paying jobs, there will be a majority of male students. So the gender wage gap is the fault of women who are not there. Well, I might have been hasty saying you are shaming women for their career choices. It depends on whether you consider the gender wage gap a bad thing.
@@schwarzerritter5724 Access to opportunity is key to getting into the university. For example, I was not encouraged to go to the university at my school. I certainly wasn't encouraged to get a doctorate. That is probably due to a number of reasons, class, gender, region (south). It's not always just about gender but it's the intersections of one's identity that would determine their access to that opportunity. Once they get there, it's even harder to get promotions, when we advocate for ourselves, we might be characterized as forceful or abrasive. This can hinder our chances of moving up in the workplace. Thus, we are also not always taken seriously so are not paid equally to men. There are so many reasons for the wage gap, it's best to really educate yourself on why it's happening rather than denying it because it's more comfortable to just say women are complaining.
Why dont start their own corporations instead of trying to invade and conquer everything men created? They will probably say we don't let them lol. Everything needs to be done for them I guess. We need to stop lying to these clueless women.
@@victorarregnelle8976 "Everything needs to be done for them" And then they complain it was done; and done for them. They *love* complaining about nature and inventing detailed fantasies to make up for their own genetic failings.
@@lockandloadlikehell Wow, interesting. Actually more women have started their own businesses especially since the pandemic so actually we don't really need to "conquer" anything.
@@meredithpugh4030 This video is a total lie. She blames patriarchy for women fighting each other. No. It was God who designed emotional women and then cursed women for rejecting God's Word.
It's the cultural norms that originate from systems of power. That power many times comes from white male (in the USA in particular but also in male dominated power structures). Women are trying to live in a system they didn't create. Thus, the fragility of our relationships trying to gain that power. When we realize that we don't have to compete with each other but rather raise each other up, then we can overcome the systemic power of patriarchy. knowing our history is a great example of that. Who created the institutions and the rules of society of how one is to behave.
@@Drjoywiggins I agree, women must take personal responsibility when they harm other women. Imagine if our justice system operated on an imperative which blames society, or patriarchy - or something other than self. Socially, we must collaborate to solve problems that produce hostility; however, on an individual level, we must take responsibility for our actions. This is my point.
Not a lot of women are reading the Bible and that is unfortunate as I know it has been a lifesaver for me and I know that by talking to some of these women that they do not have faith in themselves and at work I am in their territory. To bad but it is the reason that women do not get ahead as we hold each other back.
@@jillwhiting919 That's actually not true in my case. I grew up in a Christian household. Be careful not to just say that's it that women aren't spiritual. Again, none of this is that simple. If I had more time to talk in this video, we could get to how complex and nuanced all of this is.
I remember the most toxic woman in my workplace and she came up to me in a hallway and said," You are such a good worker, You are so strong, You are going to get this new job because you deserve it BUT I think you smile too much and you can sometimes.....
I caught on immediatley... I turned and walked away.
As I am walking down this long hallway she is still speaking as if to hold onto her power.
I took my power back, by shutting down her negativity.
I wish her all the best and send her off with love.
I am very interested in dynamics of human behaviour, personality etc. and I now know this is called a Poison Arrow or Passive-Aggressiveness. So.. to men and women out there. Shut. It . Down.
Do not engage.
DNE
your new favorite acronym.
Big Huggs
Thanks for sharing, there are so many stories like this. I love the idea of calling it a poison arrow. So glad you sent them off with love and know that it's their own insecurity.
Everyone needs to be nicer to eachother! Don't blame everyone else! Look at what you do!
Interesting! I found this aggression even more in certain cultures such as Hispanics and Caucasians, less in Asian culture, and almost none in Middle Eastern culture- we should all rise up to the occasion and support each other!
Women need to support women in leadership. Wiggins talk is an important contribution to women's leadership. Her book is amazing.
Absolutely....
Terrific Talk, Joy! I appreciated that you clarified how feminism is for everyone - it’s not, nor has it ever been, women vs men. Under systemic oppression, everybody loses. One terrific book to add is Mark Gerzon’s “A Choice of Heroes,” which deconstructs the roles that are forced upon men in patriarchal societies; while there is more power wielded y that group, there is still oppression.
I hate when girls say that to me, like I lost 40 pounds, but I really only lost 10, mean
I'll save you watching it. It's men's fault.
It's not that simple.
Lots of women still have no idea. We need to stop lying to them.
victor arregnelle lol yep more integrity and honesty from the men is a good start.
Left as soon as she said patriarchy
If you think women should not sabotage each other, why are you shaming them for their career choices?
How am I doing that?
@@Drjoywiggins If you go to a university and look at the lecture halls for high paying jobs, there will be a majority of male students. So the gender wage gap is the fault of women who are not there.
Well, I might have been hasty saying you are shaming women for their career choices. It depends on whether you consider the gender wage gap a bad thing.
@@schwarzerritter5724 Access to opportunity is key to getting into the university. For example, I was not encouraged to go to the university at my school. I certainly wasn't encouraged to get a doctorate. That is probably due to a number of reasons, class, gender, region (south). It's not always just about gender but it's the intersections of one's identity that would determine their access to that opportunity. Once they get there, it's even harder to get promotions, when we advocate for ourselves, we might be characterized as forceful or abrasive. This can hinder our chances of moving up in the workplace. Thus, we are also not always taken seriously so are not paid equally to men. There are so many reasons for the wage gap, it's best to really educate yourself on why it's happening rather than denying it because it's more comfortable to just say women are complaining.
@@Drjoywiggins Who is "we"? What you wrote could be applied to every demographic.
@@schwarzerritter5724 Yes, it could but I'm speaking about women and the gender pay gap in particular per your comment.
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Düzlüğüne yokuşuna ölürüm
Asırlardır kır atımı suladım
Irmağının akışına ölürüm Türkiyem
Sevdalıyım yangın yeri bu sinem
Doksan yıldır çile çekmiş hep ninem
Pınarlardan su doldurur Eminem
Mavi boncuk takışına ölürüm Türkiyem
Düğünüm, derneğim, halayım, barım,
Toprağım, ekmeğim, namusum, arım
Kilimlerde çizgi çizgi efkarım,
Heybelerin nakışına ölürüm Türkiyem
Hey hey hey, hey heeeeyyy...
AS BAYRAKLARI AS !
i sell my wife for internet connection
i love how feminists argue "wage gap" the always start with: on average... What?
Why dont start their own corporations instead of trying to invade and conquer everything men created? They will probably say we don't let them lol. Everything needs to be done for them I guess. We need to stop lying to these clueless women.
@@victorarregnelle8976
"Everything needs to be done for them"
And then they complain it was done; and done for them.
They *love* complaining about nature and inventing detailed fantasies to make up for their own genetic failings.
@@lockandloadlikehell Wow, interesting. Actually more women have started their own businesses especially since the pandemic so actually we don't really need to "conquer" anything.
This video hurts to watch. it's propaganda.
@@meredithpugh4030 This video is a total lie. She blames patriarchy for women fighting each other. No. It was God who designed emotional women and then cursed women for rejecting God's Word.
@@meredithpugh4030 Keep laughing until your last day.
@@PeopleHealthTru omg, are you serious!? You are part of the problem! And if you can't see that, then you can't be helped.
@@anniefitzgerald4447 Keep laughing until your Last Day.
Z ok
I'm sure if women are harming one another, men and patriarchy must be to blame.
It's the cultural norms that originate from systems of power. That power many times comes from white male (in the USA in particular but also in male dominated power structures). Women are trying to live in a system they didn't create. Thus, the fragility of our relationships trying to gain that power. When we realize that we don't have to compete with each other but rather raise each other up, then we can overcome the systemic power of patriarchy. knowing our history is a great example of that. Who created the institutions and the rules of society of how one is to behave.
@@Drjoywiggins I agree, women must take personal responsibility.
@@Drjoywiggins I agree, women must take personal responsibility when they harm other women. Imagine if our justice system operated on an imperative which blames society, or patriarchy - or something other than self. Socially, we must collaborate to solve problems that produce hostility; however, on an individual level, we must take responsibility for our actions. This is my point.
the wage gap claim has been thoroughly debunked.
By who and what?
do women not understand that everything women face men face... jesus Christ
Not a lot of women are reading the Bible and that is unfortunate as I know it has been a lifesaver for me and I know that by talking to some of these women that they do not have faith in themselves and at work I am in their territory. To bad but it is the reason that women do not get ahead as we hold each other back.
It’s not about that....smdh
@@jillwhiting919 That's actually not true in my case. I grew up in a Christian household. Be careful not to just say that's it that women aren't spiritual. Again, none of this is that simple. If I had more time to talk in this video, we could get to how complex and nuanced all of this is.