I 100% agree with the cash in the bank analogy. it's like, when you're at normal weight you feel like you're toeing the line between normal and your perceived version of "overweight" sorta like "well it's fine NOW but if I eat an ounce more i'll become everything I hate" and being thinner or even feeling like you're working towards being thinner feels a LOT safer because you feel that much further away from your biggest fears! Like a pocket of 'space' between you and your fear. But it's an illusion because our bodies and minds don't actually work like that? It's just another unfortunate arbitrary ED perception/brain wiring issue.... the body is so much more nuanced than a bunch of numbers... also i do still have the same thoughts and longing for the security but now i know it's just a mirage!!! on those bad body image days i DONT look in the mirror, don't force myself into clothes that i don't feel great in, and most important remember how much better I feel now
Yes when I was skinny it was as if nothing else mattered. Whatever else happened to me, unrelated to ED , didn’t matter because I was skinny. Yes I can relate to it being a safety blanket. I thought I was happy....I’m still struggling with this because I was happier then than I am now in recovery and with a normal woman’s body. Yes I am still envious of thinner people , mainly because I assume that they are thin without having ED. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one and that this will pass. Thanks Tabitha
This really hit home for me. “Thin”= safe , a visceral safety, almost tangible. Now that is one tough nut to crack but clearly is a common ED thing and must be done. Thank you Tabitha for verbalising my thoughts so clearly👍🏻
Oh my godTabitha Farrar, I can't tell you how much you video helped me. I really cried while watching it. It describes perfectly where I am now. Since I discovered your UA-cam channel one and a half year ago, I really moved on in my recovery....gaint 30kg and I am now at least in healthy weight range. I'm am not in impatient treatment any longer, I live on my own and I work and enjoy my life :). But I do miss the safety of my anorexia so much. I have been sick for twelve years. Thanks to you i am almost fully recovered, but still whenever I see a person who is underweight it concerns me so much. For example, I went swimming in Lake two days ago. And I was not able to enjoy that because there was a persons who was very underweight. I don't even want to go back, however I was so concerned. But now I understand it. I miss the safety. It is all so new for me to eat unestrictedly, to have a healthy body weight. ...But I try to trust you and I hope that it will go away. Thank you so much for you work tabitha, you are a hero
@@jags-gb4dm Thank you so much. :) no I will never go back i will never start restricting again. Even though it is hard sometimes. But I know it is the right way, anorexia doesn't make you happy
Sending you hugs - I’ve been there and it is tough but inpatient can be the best thing you ever do if you really open yourself up to recovery. Keep fighting x
Thank Tabs,finally your Book Rehabilitate,Rewire,Recover! is finally arrived,love it. And you help me so much in recovery,your podcast,videos and know your book! Wish you Tabs and everyone all the best! P.s.I found song about Extreme hunger (not take it seriously,okey) The Score - Hunger.
There was less of me taking up space, which is something I have always been uncomfortable with. It felt easier to disappear. I have been trying to adopt the mantra that I deserve to take up space in the world around me. The world can kiss the fat I've been gaining in my ass if they don't like it.
Thanks I just watched your video on eating pizza and croissants but just being in a new zone and not having fully let go it has really made me push for full recovery I totally get your videos I have seen a lot of megsy and you guys are helping me recover but I am like you I want full recovery total 100% not quasi or part recovery I want my attitude to food to be like breathing my body will take care of it thanks for your help
Hi, I have had anorexia for 25 years. What sort of permanent injury do you have? I have done a lot of damage over the years. I also have a YT where I talk about my health.
@@ababy6074 I avulsed my 3 hamstrings 18 nth ago and told surgery not an option. I now have referred issues in hip and knee an foot. Also nerve issues. Can't e decide and in pain an depressed. Have eating disorder 30 year. U?
As a transman, I see all this female body positivity shit and it makes me feel shit. Everyone’s like ‘omgggg love yourselffff!!!!’ like, good for you, but I’m trans and it’s impossible for me to ‘love myself’ without being able to transition. I can’t even accept my body, because it’s wrong. Help . I HATE my thighs because the bigger they get the more feminine they look. The more weight I put on, the bigger my chest gets. I’ve seen all of tabitha’s videos, but I can’t trust my body. I’m so disconnected.
Alexander Curtis your comment breaks my heart I cannot begin to relate to your experience but just know things will get better. I’m sending you love and support
i’m also sending you love and support ! i have no idea what you’re going through but i am myself in recovery and i know how hard it is to accept your body. i hope you’ll be fine soon. love, always
No matter how your body looks like you are a man!❤ I can only imagine how hard it can be for you and with how many things you might struggle with but you'll figure it out and you are not alone. Lots of lots of love❤
i'm transmasc too and i feel the exact same way. i send you my empathy and solidarity and hope for recovery and a transition that makes your body feel like home to you.
I 100% agree with the cash in the bank analogy. it's like, when you're at normal weight you feel like you're toeing the line between normal and your perceived version of "overweight" sorta like "well it's fine NOW but if I eat an ounce more i'll become everything I hate" and being thinner or even feeling like you're working towards being thinner feels a LOT safer because you feel that much further away from your biggest fears! Like a pocket of 'space' between you and your fear. But it's an illusion because our bodies and minds don't actually work like that? It's just another unfortunate arbitrary ED perception/brain wiring issue.... the body is so much more nuanced than a bunch of numbers... also i do still have the same thoughts and longing for the security but now i know it's just a mirage!!! on those bad body image days i DONT look in the mirror, don't force myself into clothes that i don't feel great in, and most important remember how much better I feel now
Exactly how I felt!!!
Couldn’t of said it any better!
Yes when I was skinny it was as if nothing else mattered. Whatever else happened to me, unrelated to ED , didn’t matter because I was skinny. Yes I can relate to it being a safety blanket. I thought I was happy....I’m still struggling with this because I was happier then than I am now in recovery and with a normal woman’s body. Yes I am still envious of thinner people , mainly because I assume that they are thin without having ED. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one and that this will pass. Thanks Tabitha
This really hit home for me. “Thin”= safe , a visceral safety, almost tangible. Now that is one tough nut to crack but clearly is a common ED thing and must be done. Thank you Tabitha for verbalising my thoughts so clearly👍🏻
Oh my godTabitha Farrar, I can't tell you how much you video helped me. I really cried while watching it. It describes perfectly where I am now. Since I discovered your UA-cam channel one and a half year ago, I really moved on in my recovery....gaint 30kg and I am now at least in healthy weight range. I'm am not in impatient treatment any longer, I live on my own and I work and enjoy my life :). But I do miss the safety of my anorexia so much. I have been sick for twelve years. Thanks to you i am almost fully recovered, but still whenever I see a person who is underweight it concerns me so much. For example, I went swimming in Lake two days ago. And I was not able to enjoy that because there was a persons who was very underweight. I don't even want to go back, however I was so concerned. But now I understand it. I miss the safety. It is all so new for me to eat unestrictedly, to have a healthy body weight. ...But I try to trust you and I hope that it will go away. Thank you so much for you work tabitha, you are a hero
Hey so are you a hero! No turning back, so happy for you & well done ❤️
@@jags-gb4dm Thank you so much. :) no I will never go back i will never start restricting again. Even though it is hard sometimes. But I know it is the right way, anorexia doesn't make you happy
@@shantishanti5897 🙏💪❤️
Shanti Shanti would love to get in touch with you, seem like we are both very much at the same stage xxx 😘
Currently in adolescent inpatient unit. Your vidios are the only thing helping rationalise how much I can and should eat abs that it’s ok
Sending you hugs - I’ve been there and it is tough but inpatient can be the best thing you ever do if you really open yourself up to recovery. Keep fighting x
Thank Tabs,finally your Book Rehabilitate,Rewire,Recover! is finally arrived,love it.
And you help me so much in recovery,your podcast,videos and know your book!
Wish you Tabs and everyone all the best!
P.s.I found song about Extreme hunger (not take it seriously,okey)
The Score - Hunger.
For me this is what stands in my way for recovery it truly is
There was less of me taking up space, which is something I have always been uncomfortable with. It felt easier to disappear. I have been trying to adopt the mantra that I deserve to take up space in the world around me. The world can kiss the fat I've been gaining in my ass if they don't like it.
Thanks I just watched your video on eating pizza and croissants but just being in a new zone and not having fully let go it has really made me push for full recovery I totally get your videos I have seen a lot of megsy and you guys are helping me recover but I am like you I want full recovery total 100% not quasi or part recovery I want my attitude to food to be like breathing my body will take care of it thanks for your help
You are so amazing. Thank you for everything!
Thank you for saying it as it is. You’ve been an amazing help for me so far Tabitha! Thank you x
Please do a session on eating disorder and permanent injury and mentally copimg
Hi, I have had anorexia for 25 years. What sort of permanent injury do you have? I have done a lot of damage over the years. I also have a YT where I talk about my health.
@@ababy6074 I avulsed my 3 hamstrings 18 nth ago and told surgery not an option. I now have referred issues in hip and knee an foot. Also nerve issues. Can't e decide and in pain an depressed. Have eating disorder 30 year. U?
@@ababy6074 wat is YT?
@@marybyrne9531 I guess it's a UA-cam Channel. If you click on her picture or just type her name in the search bar, you should be able to find it.
Never set out to loose weight & hate being underweight. But the "genetic" thing I totally get ❤️
How can I access the community tab?
What if you’re not in the normal weight range when recovered? I’m well over it. Our culture teaches us that normal and skinny is better
As a transman, I see all this female body positivity shit and it makes me feel shit. Everyone’s like ‘omgggg love yourselffff!!!!’ like, good for you, but I’m trans and it’s impossible for me to ‘love myself’ without being able to transition. I can’t even accept my body, because it’s wrong. Help . I HATE my thighs because the bigger they get the more feminine they look. The more weight I put on, the bigger my chest gets. I’ve seen all of tabitha’s videos, but I can’t trust my body. I’m so disconnected.
Alexander Curtis your comment breaks my heart I cannot begin to relate to your experience but just know things will get better. I’m sending you love and support
i’m also sending you love and support ! i have no idea what you’re going through but i am myself in recovery and i know how hard it is to accept your body.
i hope you’ll be fine soon. love, always
No matter how your body looks like you are a man!❤
I can only imagine how hard it can be for you and with how many things you might struggle with but you'll figure it out and you are not alone.
Lots of lots of love❤
i'm transmasc too and i feel the exact same way. i send you my empathy and solidarity and hope for recovery and a transition that makes your body feel like home to you.