6 Reasons Why Many Christians are STILL Single!
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- Please watch: "The ONE Thing Every Christian Should Be Doing But Most Are NOT!"
• The ONE Thing Every Ch... -~-
Why are you still single even though you have the desire to be married? Our society glorifies marriage and family and it can be devastating for those who have the desire to be married to remain single. In this video I share 6 reasons why you're still single and how you can prepare yourself for marriage if that's what you believe God has for you.
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Hey family! Today's video is a sensitive one but one I've personally lived through. I hope you find this video and this list helpful. If you're married, pass this on to someone who you think may need to hear it! Love y'all SO much!
THE BEAT by Allen Parr thank you
You're welcome Laeshaun! God bless,
God bless you too
But can I tell you my testtimony
Yes, please share!
I'd rather be single and be at peace with God then be in a toxic relationship. It's hard to find women that truly love Jesus and put God first above all else.
British Belle 👍🏾😂😂😂
It's hard to find ANYONE who loves the LORD and is not a lukewarm.
@ Pixubol Your absolutely right. I rather be alone and stay that way. In this way I can live in peace.
agree
Me to!
Abstinence b4 marriage is an issue too. I am sticking to God’s way 4 sure, but most men don’t want 2 hear that. That’s ok bc i know that a man who believes the same is worth waiting 4. 🕊🙏✝️💟💜
I feel you...
Exactly the same here, but I did find someone, my girl is a virgin as well as me.✝️🙏🏼🇲🇽GOD BLESS YOU SISTER✝️IN JESUS NAME🙏🏼AMEN
Agreed
Both men and women only want to live in fornication. It's not only men.
👋
These are good points ,but the biggest reason I feel is simply finding a person that is a Christian is probably the hardest. Churches aren't full of single people and if they are the chances of finding them attractive with things in common are slim to none.. Seems like if you don't attend a Christian college after high school to find someone your chances are very slim.
Understood. Thanks Jason,
I can agree to an extent.
I can definitely relate
Bobby Hepworth the IT & Electronics Specialist Christian women aren't feminists. Well if some of them are then they are being lukewarm because you can't be a Christian and a feminist. It's one or the other same with any other thing. It's being a Christian or be with the world.
Jason1Pa lol you are hilarious but so right.
Where has this channel been all my life. It's so honest and completely biblical. So refreshing to not have opinions but truth 👏🏽❤️
Hey Bethany, that was very kind of you. Yes, today's video was a bit different and didn't lend itself to much scripture but usually I try to stick to the book as much as possible because God's word is more important than mine! God bless,
Are you still single?
@@immertoll1 she commented on the video, not saying she is looking for a man
Same thing I thought 🙏🏽all facts
I have a hard time being single in my late twenties, and an even harder time hearing about being patient from people who were married when they were 19, so when I saw your bit about being married at 40, I thought, "Alright; this guy is the real deal when he talks about waiting patiently on the Lord." Thanks for your encouragement.
I will NOT wait on God if it means getting married at fucking 40
@@InitialPC I'm sorry you felt it necessary to use such language. Anyway, I hope you don't make a bad choice, for lack of patience.
@@InitialPC I am 45. Don't wait. It may never happen.
Those "ring by spring" couples are typically NOT following God or honoring God.
@@InitialPC As much as I hate to agree, the very thought of tying the knot by 40 and beyond puts me in a defeated mode.
For men, not having a stable financial life is a BIG reason. God asks men to be the leaders, foundation and provider of the house and it is important for them to be in a position to provide for their family
“ Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”
Proverbs 24:27
Bingo!!!
@@sixteen.candles.4644 Yes men should ask for money and a house before a wife
You’re cute what’s your number
Well the wife needs to work too. It is the 21st century. Stuff isn't cheap....
@@benmollitor3776 if u meet a wife that don’t wanna work run lol. Unless u don’t want her to
I’m 28 and been single my entire adult life. My age is definitely a concern now. Abstaining from sex feels like torture sometimes. It’s also hard to make friends because so many people my age or older are married with kids and don’t have time to connect. So I usually end up doing things alone. I’ve tried pursueing opportunities I thought would be good in the past, but the rejection has held me back. Then I decided to cut myself off from Facebook because suddenly everyone I know was engaged or just married. I was happy for them but it hurt me so much. Social media is a tool meant to flaunt your relationships even if it isn’t truly a happy one. Anyway, I’m trying to accept God’s timing and to know that he isn’t allowing this to hurt me. I don’t want this to consume my joy and happiness.
I feel ya. Try being 36 and single. Been single for the last 22 years just praying and believing God to bring my spouse but haven't come across anyone I'm attracted to who is single and available. At this point I'm not going to lie it's hard to keep the faith that it's ever going to happen. Everyone in my family including younger siblings are either married or in serious relationships. I really don't know why God has kept me waiting for over 2 decades and counting but am trusting Him and have surrendered to whatever God's will is. God doesn't owe me anything but I owe Him everything for Hos salvation and continual protection over me. Thank and Praise you Lord Jesus Christ!🙏🥰❤️
@@tc4583 please guys use your voice ok speak go to church get social meet people . Don't be the quiet person...
Same here I’m 17 and wanna connect with someone but I can’t seem to find that person I’m learning that Gods way and timing is better than mine so I know I should wait to be with that person it will be worth it🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@freddycureton I've tried that..still haven't met anyone I'm romantically interested in. It will only happen according to God's holy will and in His time.
Are you still single?
Great topic but the churches need to have single dating ministries not just for young people but for older adults too I think that would be so great .
Agreed!
Yup, the evangelical church has done a horrible job concerning the topic of dating and relationships. The church has always said do not have sex until marriage, do not get physically involved with someone, do not settle. I certainly agree with these "do not"" statements, but rarely has the church offered affirmative "do statements." It's refreshing the evangelical church has finally come to grips with their weak efforts in the past and are now starting to approach the subject of relationships in a more affirmative, encouraging manner.
Some do but the problem I’ve seen is that they tend to be the butt of many jokes. It’s feels very demeaning tbh. Being single and past 25+ at a church can make you feel like a loser. I know it’s not true but I’ve seen this at my own church
I am single, 24, male, christian, doer of the word, and I only trust my Lord and my Savior Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation
As a divorced man who's wife cheated on him and then left for a man who murdered our children trust me when I say. Marriage is a blessing, however being single has been a blessing in drawing closer to the Lord. Whatever your relationship status put God first
So sorry for the loss of your children may GOD continue to heal your heart
So sorry to hear.
Father God😢💔 I am soooooo sorry.
Wait. Murdered your children????
Oh my God I'm sorry for your personal loss. I cant imagine the pain. I pray Lord Jesus continue to walk with you and heal you and bless you all of your days. Stay encouraged
I think u forgot to mention, lack of single christian men over 30!😢. In my bible study group, I'm the only single
im single and im 36..
I'm a single man almost 34 (UK) but yeah. Finding a wife doesn't seem to be happening.
Good to know we are all over the world😅 but we're not alone😉🙏🏻
I'm 40 going to be 41 in March I'm single and know how you feel
@@octaviousmckenzie2362 - It's shit init. Unacceptable in my view.
You should make a video on how to make friends!. sometimes its hard to make friends. i found so its harder in churches as a young adult to do so as well. it would be a great topic to cover.
eddier2k9 Agreed
I live in NYC and I always feel like it's hard to make genuine christian friends 😑
Yes
Kae J same here dear, i can't find friends who are Christians😐
eddier2k9 yeah
It makes perfect sense, some people think that being single is a bad thing, but it enables people to better understand themselves before understanding someone else.
As a Christian we have standards. And it’s tough finding another individual who is serious about their faith. And work has a lot to do with it as well. I work odd hours and never know when I’ll have a day off.
I'm only 17, but I kinda relate this to dating. The #1 reason definitely applies to me, this video really helps me realize that I need to spend more time in my relationship with God. Thank you for making these! : )
I am totally okay with my singleness right now! I was initially married to an unbeliever and (surprise, surprise) when things got hard she got out. Spent the next two years in casual sex relationships with more unbelievers, and I got progressively hurt worse and worse. Finally I came back to God and am repenting for a lot of my past, while allowing God to take the reins. I don't think I'll be ready for awhile, not until my faith is strong and I've built new habits, but I am praying that a wife and family is in God's plan for me down the line. But for today I'm not stressing about it!
Its not your ex's fault you had casual sex, dont blame other people for your own sins
awwn sorry for that can we be friends
@@InitialPC exactly. I know non Christian who never were in casual. As the Bible says there are 'Christians' who turn worse then not Christians and then want to pretend they want it right and catch the good woman. I am a good woman so I want a good man with a past as mine. It's hard already to accept my flaws of the past, imagine to take all the bagge of someone else.
@@ana-maria448 You're going to be single for the rest of your life with that attitude.
EVERYONE has baggage, Christians are not exempt.
My marriage failed because of my rejection of God and my pornography addiction. God has since saved me but I forever hurt the first woman I ever loved but continue to pray for her and forgive myself. Thank you Allen for teaching and warning this generation.
Thank you for this video. I think #1 applies to my life. God wants me to be single right now for me to get to know Him more and spend time with Him so He can teach me about myself, chip off old habits (this is a big one for me), heal me from past situations and relationships and (maybe) prepare me for a future marriage if that's in God's will. I have a lot to be worked on by God so I just need to seek God right now. Thank you for your videos.
Dwight Walls you're speaking to the choir! I feel that God wants me to be single for a reason and at the same time desiring to be married which can be confusing. For me at the end of it all the will of God must come to pass single or married.
That is so true 🙂. I feel the same at this point in my life
Amen.. same here. Just trusting the Lord in this season. 🙏
Allen i just wanted to thank you so much brother!! You have been one of my many teachers and a few weeks ago i gave my life to Christ!! Then on sunday i was baptized!!! :) But i have many questions so keep on making videos pls!!!!!
Christian g1777 welcome brother, it's good to hear that you have received Jesus into your heart and are baptised. May God bless you and show you the way He has laid out for you.
michel br Thank you so much i will be sure to keep u in my prayers!!! :)
I am also sorry for calling allen "teacher" there is only one teacher and that is the son
Wow!!! Christian G! Congrats congrats congrats! You just made my day! I'm SO excited for you. This is the best decision you could have ever made. Praise God. I HIGHLY recommend you get into a bible-teaching church and start reading your Bible. Start in the gospel of John and go from there. Reach out to me if you have more questions. God bless,
THE BEAT by Allen Parr Thank you allen !! I have started to read my bible a little bit I started in matthew I will be sure to get to you with any questions!!! :)
I believe the reason I'm still single is because I'm always trying to stay stable and better myself. I been single for about 3 years now and I get lonely all the time. And I pray for a wife and family all the time as well but I'm just being patient and keeping my faith. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs. Nor do I go clubbing or out to parties. I'm just a good guy waiting on my other half.
Same here aye man did you find her how’s things going??
Almost 35 years old. Been single since 2016! Praying that I'll run into "the one" God has for me 😊❤
I’m 35 too it will happen just keep your focus on the lord and your purpose
I'm 32 and single too😎 .... We're in the Kingdom... let's keep serving Him while we're waiting for the one 🕐
I am 48 and have been on my own for a very long time. Divorced and raised my daughter financially on my own. I've come to accept that I function better on my own and don't really miss a partner anymore. Some people can and some cannot. Love your video Allen!!!
Gotcha.
Maybe overtime my desire will go away. It’s usually when I’m triggered by watching a movie or being around a couple when I start to feel lonely.
The desire will always be there if you don’t grow your relationship with god
Am 38 yrs and still single, but I believe God has a reason and will bless me with a made at the right time
Still single? Any update?
I am 38 and I am still single! It is not a nice feeling, trusting God and believing his words has even become tougher. I am confident it will end in praise.
Believe and your joy will be full.
Reading these comments saddens me! How can you have self esteem, depression and expect a mate? I’m confused .... Know your identity in Christ and let go the unforgiveness and rejection in your soul!
Can you do a video on Spiritual warfare please!
People can have all those jssues and be married
Being single is depressing. Being rejected over and over demolishes your self esteem. Its sad being single and that's it.
@@misss7758 that's why I quit dating years ago. Don't be available and you can't get rejected. After you turn 45 or 50 the only men interested just want nurses or purses in their old age. Love has nothing to do with elderly widowers remarrying. Let them hire HHAs instead.
Loneliness can carry its own danger. Sometimes we are so lonely that we are willing to "settle" for anybody who will have us, and that really can cause a lot of trouble. I've been there. I almost fell into a possible trap. But also, I prayed that if this guy turned out to be a nice guy that I didn't hurt him. I would never intentionally do that. But online situations can be dangerous.
This happened to me. I let myself get way too lonely during the pandemic and fell victim to an actual scammer who destroyed me financially and spiritually. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have gotten past date #1. But I compromised because is was so desperately lonely.
Been there. Had to change my address, phone, and email to make a long story short.
Being single is suffering like Christ. We single guys can go back into the world but pretty much we are selling our soul. I’ll rather be single than be soulless. And work on myself and Seeking The Kingdom ✝️
You keep it always 100 within 5 min. helpful teaching. Thank you!
Ha, this one got away from me a little and went beyond 5! Ugh. Thanks Favoured!
THE BEAT by Allen Parr it was still a short video and well emphasized.
You hit the nail on the head !
I was engaged to someone who wasn't a christan first of all and second of all i was A MESS haha I had some issues from my past , anger , insecurities and communication problems . And luckily God made me realize all that BEFORE the aisle . So I have gave him his ring back and told him he didn't deserve to marry someone who was a broken mess . And that i needed to get right . It was hard . But I'm soooooo glad I did it . I was quite the terror to be around for a long time . Still healing , but I'd like to say I'm alot better . I won't be getting back into dating world until im ready and only I will know . So for now I'm swerving errbody haha
Bobby Hepworth the IT & Electronics Specialist yeah i didn't go for looks. Wasn't even extremely attested to him
I was dealing with severe emotional issues now I'm ready for a partner after learning to cook, clean, budget, housekeep, ect.
This is good stuff. You touched on a lot of important triggers. Singles today have a lot of these things going on. But there is no one there to help them navigate these changes. Everyone just expects them to figure it out and judges them for their condition.
Good video. I definitely agree with not settling. I have caught myself almost getting into that trap and thank God He spoke to me and I resisted. I say keep your eyes on Jesus and not worry.
Thank you my dearest brother Allan. Parr, spelling? My name is Dennis Paxton, and have been following your ministry for some time now. All I can humbly can say is , you are a blessing from God to me and I know maybe millions of others, out there wow!!!! Just think about that for a minute. Man, I love you as a brother so much, I'm always just blown away by your supernatural gift as a paster/teacher/ comforter, whatever. I just love you brother for the simple way you preach sometimes on profound, and sometimes on very sensitive doctrines/ issues etc. I never miss a beat. You are mightly, and blessed by our Wonderful God, and I thank Him for men like you. I hail all the way ftom South Africa. Live in a little town called Pinetown, just outside Durban, in the province of Kwa Zulu Natal. I could go on for hours about how much your incredible God given ministry has blessed me.
Go well my brother you still young, and God is using you in a such a mighty way, that I don't think you even realize it yourself. God bless you, and your famiily, and ministry, mightilly, for the Glory of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
email address. dennispaxton@gmail.com.
Thank you my brother for all the lonely nights, ( I'm single, was married have 2 wondergul children, out of the house now sadly, but doing well. Both are really committed b/a Chridtians, thank God), but you are something very special God has given me and us Christians. We thank God on our hands and knees for men of God like you. May He forever bless, protect, and prosper you all, and what you do in His Woderful name. .AMEN AND AMEN.
When I was married I went far away from God. When I became divorced I got close to God and served Him like never before. To be honest I long to have a woman in my life but I being close to God is the most beautiful thing.
Amen brother. I have been single for quite some time, they were relationships I wanted to be in. But God saw them before I did. I have a feeling, now maybe the time. But I am just trusting God right now. And working on serving him. Because it says in Nehemiah 10 verse 11. The joy of the Lord is our strength and could you pray for me. I have had an eyesight problem for quite some time. And it is called RP. I feel like God is slowly giving me the vision that I want back. Maybe to the point to where I can start driving later on in the future. So just pray for that. Thanks so much and God bless.
I don't want to be single forever. I'm 32 years old, and I dated one girl about 10 or so years ago. We dated for a week and then she dumped me. I've never been with anyone else. I don't understand why I keep falling for the wrong people. Why is it so hard for me to find a wife???
Research MGTOW. Sunrise hoodie is a follower of Christ and very informative.
I feel you. I'm 52 and still haven't found the right one. I've been in your shoes where you get dumped. I think now that I'm older I have much higher standards. Sometimes it's difficult I know, but keep praying and asking God to help you see what you need to see. He will help you.
I really wouldn't recommend MGTOW. If there's anything that doesn't fit into the Christian life, it's judging all women as promiscuous whores and using them for sex. This is what MGTOW teaches.
I think the reason you fall for the wrong people is due to a personality flaw. This is not an insult. Maybe you had a bad childhood - your childhood affects the rest of your life. But the damage can be undone.
@Monica Merino What do you mean?
@Monica Merino "Some people blame everything on wicked spirits"
Yeah, I think you just did. You just blamed poverty and loneliness on spirits. So the war veteran on the side of the road didn't get let down by his country, he's just possessed with demons? Is that the idea? The old widow whose family never visits isn't lonely because of that, but because of demons?
You may want to reconsider, or maybe clarify, these ideas, because they really don't make sense.
The trouble with the church on the whole is that there is to much emphasis on being married and its benefits and not enough on being single or even staying single for that matter!
I am 58 and have never married and believe you and me it is tough being in church with absolutely no mention for singles. I feel a lot of the time for single Christian men and women who are praying for a life partner I can definitely sympathize with them as I have not only never married but have never had any children. I on the other hand have brought many people to Christ and therefore been a spiritual father instead.
Pastors and teachers need to be balanced!
I've been single for literally since my birth and I honestly can say that I can relate to most of these reasons; but even if I can only relate to a few of these, is it possible that God just doesn't want me to be in a relationship with someone for the rest of my life?
You look like Denzel Washington brother. :D
just finish my Bible study right after i realize that i am single..i just miss someone who care for you after work. But bec i watched this..i know God is preparing someone better for me..have patience
There are many reasons behind this .I'm also still single but I don't know it's good or bad for me. I'm confused some time. Some time I want to be like this but It is very heard to live without a partner. At list a good friend must needed in life. Jesus is that true friend who helping me still now .Praise the Lord. Let his name be glorified through my life. Thank you brother for this wonderful message. God bless you. I like your videos because all are biblical. Problem and solutions are understand from the Bible.
I know why I am still single at 50.I have made very poor decisions out of desperation and being lonely. My parents had a toxic marriage even though they were married over 50 years. I have no children on top of that. I don't want any either. All I ever wanted was a God Fearing Man to love me. After so many failed attempts, I have decided to do it God's way. I am going to wait on him to send me my husband. In the meantime, I am going to read my bible more, go to church when I can because I work a lot of hours during the week and weekends. I am the common denominator. The problem was me! I understand that now. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness. Now, all I have to do is raise my emotional intelligence IQ and become more embedded in the Lord Period!
Praise God for the word❣️🙏🏾 Singleness (2yrs 2mos.)🙏🏾😇
For me? Shyness
Wow! Kudos to you for admitting that. What are you doing to work on getting out of your shell a bit?
THE BEAT by Allen Parr may you please make a video about ex pastor Kevin wesley
NRAgunnut1993 i have the same problem. what happens with me is...I'll wanna talk to a girl and then my mind blocks and i'll avoid them completely.
I have the same problem. I'm always so scared for someone seeing who I am, plus my flaws....:(
Also, it seems that guys first seem interested, but then vanish. I have no idea what I do wrong...
Perhaps God doesn't want me to get married...
Chydova feel the exact same way
im definitely early, senior in high school, loney as ever seeing all my friends in great relationships and ive never had anyone
I feel that way too. Im a junior and all my friends have boyfriends. I’ve never even talked to someone in a romantic way. I feel like no one has ever thought I was attractive. It makes me feel so bad.
@ffliberty benjimasters1
Great words! Also, being single until your mate comes along, is a good time to really work on yourself to be the best version you can be for you and everyone who will come into contact with you. This is a good time to take inventory of what you can work on. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself, if you met you would you want to court you? Marry you? Procreate, etc. Several times the things we don't like in ourselves can attract just that because that's what we put out. Also, stop settling. Be realistic, but don't settle. Keep in mind, all sex before marriage can cloud your judgment on the person you're with and either diminish or magnify certain things about the person, yourself, or the situation all together. This can cause you to make unwise decisions that are harmful for you down the line.....This is equivalent to someone making unwise food choices when they're starving or have not become disciplined enough to withstand their triggers. #BlessingsToYouAll.
So true Sharla! I could not have said it any better. Thanks for sharing that perspective!
THE BEAT by Allen Parr You're welcome! Thank you for all you do.
The Good and Faithful Servant I will definitely checkout your channel.
How selfish. Guiding yourself to become better is to invite sin. Only through the Lord and his word should you live and there should be no exception to this. Let Him guide you; not yourself.
This is very good Allen. I needed to hear this. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. I've been a saved reborn Christian since the summer of 2000. Many people ask me why am I still single. I can give them the first reason that you gave in this video but a while later they continue to ask me why am I still single. So many people ask me that to the point where I don't even know what to say anymore. Some people even wonder if do I even like women. I've been single without a mate for a long time. I can't seem to find a mate and now I know why God hasn't given me my mate yet. Sometimes I wonder, what have I done to not deserve a mate?
Edgardo Cardona I felt like that for a long time. I did get married until I'm in my thirties I still am but the point is sometimes we have to wait until we become mature in him.
My dear keep calm and be strong in God He alone knows the right timing
I'm in my 50s..I'm still waiting..
number one is definitely for me. I believe that God wants me to become more dedicated to spending time with Him & plus he wants to heal my heart.♥️
The problem I have is finding someone who wants to follow all of God's commands. Including no sex until marriage
Stop being so picky. Let's just keep it 💯💯🔥🔥🔥. We're picky about external things, but not about what counts, the spiritual and wonder why we're still single.
Thank you THE BEAT by Allen Parr; I am a bit Introvert and this is preventing me... Is there anything like Introvert??? but sometimes I dont believe in science... However, I am that person who appriciate calmness & alone time though I also like interaction...
Great job Allen, I know guy who went to Seminary with u (Maurice) Keep up the good work my brother God bless
This is just my opinion and just for me personally. 1) it's not the time or season because my focus has to be on the Lord first. 2) I need to work on myself. 3) Schedule is not fitting. 4) what is going on this season. 5) i want to be married but ik it's not the time it will come later. 6) meeting new people. 7) past issues. 8) ik this is with like most people but we arent giving ourselves realistic standards.
I’ve seen a lot of hard ship when it comes to relationships. Been divorced already and had my heart broken deeply many times before that and after. Did it take me time to heal? Sure it did and I also made some mistakes but the thing that always keeps me going is that God respects free choice and so must I respect others free choices. As long as I’m staying in the word and good teaching the spirit will guide my choices and my choices are all I need to worry about. If others choices separate them from my life or my choices from theirs one or both of us have a journey to make before we’re ready for a special someone. I can rest easy in the fact that God has my future in mind and it’s a great future. As long as I’m focused on who I am in Christ and watching my choices closely it doesn’t matter if others choices, good or bad, separate them from me. God will guide me to the people who need me or who I need in my life and there isn’t just one string of events that leads where God wants me, no one single bad choice that puts a wrench in Gods plans. His plans for good for my life are many and possibly many people God wants us to give ourselves as an option for marriage. They may not take it many times but that’s why it’s so important to do things Gods way to protect and respect ourselves and others and one day, maybe sooner than you think, one of those very special people are going to choose you back.
Man, Allen. This stuff was so on point. Thank you for posting them! It encourages my heart to learn you got married at 40, and that you didn't like the first point even though it was correct. That makes me trust what you're saying, because you've been through it. Thanks for sharing, brother!
There are two reasons not mentioned that I think are very relevant and more prominent than you might think for most of us Sir: 1) Those of us between the 28ish and 40ish age bracket find it very difficult to find a biblical Christian we have things in common with who we also happen to find physically attractive. There simply aren’t that many women out there that meet those foundational requirements. 2) Another reason I think many folks can relate to is that they have severe trust issues of the opposite sex. In my instance, I married my childhood best friend, who was at the time a proud Christian woman. Five years into our marriage, she secretly became habitually adulteress among other things… It’s very difficult for me to allow another woman close enough to be willing to trust her with my life in marriage. I feel like I barely survived last time, and I could not go through a similar situation again. I know my story is not an isolated one for both Christian men and women. Christians who have been even biblically divorced struggle with the guilt and shame of it. To risk being a Christian who is divorced twice… I think it’s too much for some bare.
I totally agree I myself think sometimes where is my Boaz but I can hear a small voice saying be patient I'm still working on you so right now I'm just in prayer and just working on me..Thanks for sharing
I'm here! :)
I think I made the comment about this on a previous webisode you did, however I'll say it again, as a whole the reason why some may be single is a lack of pursuit by Godly men. I keep hearing Christian men say that they don't want to be the guy known for trying to talk to all of the girls, because once they are labeled as that guy, no one will give them a chance. I can understand that. I just think, with a level of discernment, Christian men need to be bolder in their approach and Christian women need to be more patient to wait for a Christian man. For Christian women, I say that this ties into a character flaw like you said, singleness or wrong relationships is due to a lack of patience. For me, I honestly haven't really been approached by a legit Christian guy. By guys in the world or by guys who proclaim to be a Christian, but don't live the lifestyle, all of the time. I'm not impatient, however this is something I've noticed with myself and some of my other Christian friends that are women. I'm in multiple circles including having friends/acquaintances at different churches and I hear this same issue.
Erinn Jones You have a good point. The church teaches women how to wait but doesn't encourage men to pursue. Also, there needs to be a way to meet Christian men outside of your particular church.
This is on-point. If a guy doesn't initially pursue, the girl will believe he's not interested. Many guys don't understand this, and I used to be one of them.
The reason I was like that was due to my upbringing (or lack thereof). I was never taught how to attract women, so all I had was the first thing I could think of as a red-blooded male: Impress the woman, and she will like you. All this mindset does is invite huge performance anxiety, because if I mess it up, that's it.
When I've pursued a Godly women I've been rejected. I find a lot of christian women moan about not being approached and asked. When they are approached and asked out they find an excuse not to go or lie. It's not that christian men are not pursuing, it's that christian women have unrealistic expectations! They don't even give a man a chance. Many wait for years hoping that their knight in shining amour is going to appear. I recently suggested to a christian women about going on a date and she hasn't replied since! I doubt whether any of these women are real believers as they're concerned about their own needs and not that of other people. Sorry for the rant, it's frustrating!
Duuuude YES! My bro and I were just talking about the same thing on our UA-cam channel. Thank you so much for this TRUTH!
Thank you for this video Allen!i honestly needed this!My reason for being single is my best friend passed last year and it still has a huge impact on me because we were really close as well as talking about God and living for him.We both had tough childhoods and we actually met through depression as kids.I know deep down in my heart God wanted us to meet so we can help each other and others.He put the love in our hearts for each other.I feel in my heart that i must live my life to the fullest for God while he is keeping her safe for me even though we wont marry in heaven i will have the blessing of spending time with her for all eternity,whatever we do on this earth,God makes it count for all eternity :) Once again thank you for this video!God bless man!
So sorry to hear of this loss. God bless you,
God is with you
THE BEAT by Allen Parr can you make a video stating opinion on ex pastor Kevin wesley because I'm confused
Thank so much brother Allen! I appreciate this video and I agree with you. I am 54 years old, never married and no kids and still hopeful that my season of singleness will end soon. My years of singleness has brought a lot of healing to my soul, there are layers of pain I had to deal with but I am thankful for Gods healing touch on my life......theres a time for everything, a time to be single and a time to be married. Gods blessings on you, your family and your ministry!
Amen
Amen 🙏
I know the reason I'm still single...high standards. There's some nice Christian guys out there, but I'm not willing to date those that are doing drugs, alcohol or a guy who isn't a Christian. Been there, done that. I won't compromise on those things nor will I date a man who is still married and in process of divorcing. I live in a rural area and the amount of Christian single men that aren't doing those things are few. Also, I am 58 and am on the overweight side (working on losing weight) but most men seem to want the Hollywood thin version of a woman. I had a single pastor judge me on that. And I'm not super overweight. I have and continue to deal with my baggage through Celebrate Recovery. So, right now, I'm content to be single. Hopefully, God will work out my bad choices and turn them for my good. Great video! God bless, Mr. Parr!
That pastor is very mean, I hope you know that. I am 16 and thin and have trouble meeting good guys too. So I don’t think it is your weight or age, it is the lack of Godly men and people in general. So please don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re beautiful! God bless you 😊💓
Wendy, you're in denial if you think you are valuable to a quality man if you are overweight. It is great that you are working on it, and that you have high standards, but you cannot expect a man to want you if you aren't physically attractive. The reverse is true, however less so, since women are most attracted to non-visual aspects of a man. Please dont be fooled by feminism and fat acceptance. God bless you and I hope you lose the weight and find a nice older man.
@@paulcosta8297 You're very rude with no picture. What if you're unattractive yourself. Men believe they don't have to look good. I'm 28, and I work out, I'm slim, with no kids, and I'm sick and tired of bloated 35 year old men who feel entitled to date younger in shape women who take care of themselves just because they're men. This forever bachelor lifestyle is only in your heads. You all should keep yourselves up too. Two way street.
@@forever_evolving_5312 1. Both genders should fast and be sexy.
2. It is not ideal for the man to not be older than the women, as a general rule of nature and not overriding particular exceptions.
3. It is more important to men that a woman is physically attractive than vice versa. It is more important to women that men have status and wealth.
4. There is no injustice in #3 above.
5. The 35 year old man (not AT ALL on the old side for you if you are 28) who is commensurate to you if you are in perfect shape is not a 35 year old man with resources in perfect shape. 35 year old men in perfect shape with resources go for and get 16-22 year old women in the peak of their youth.
6. With fasting, you can significantly turn the tables in your favor.
7. It only takes one exception to these general truths to defy them. But, it is unlikely.
Paul Costa 1. Not going to respond to that because it sounds shallow and immature. 2. Women prefer older men, so long as he’s not too old, and yes that is a thing. Women are attracted to men because of their stamina, strength, and testosterone levels. Women are actually NOT attracted to most older men. Women USE older men for their money and resources. No man wants to be used for that reason, so these are pointless relationships that degrade men and make them unhappy on the inside. God did not design men to sleep around. That is a lie from the enemy. We were ALL designed for intimacy, men and women. 3. Yes, looks are more important to men, but a man’s health is important to women. We don’t want impotence in a man. The older a man becomes the less he can perform. Younger women want men who can maintain erections, preferably w/o pills. Your view of men is very skewed. A man who wants marriage wants a mature woman. Not a girl. You’re talking about men who want to sleep around for the rest of their life. Those men only date “16-22” year olds. And most girls their age find those men to be creeps.
What if the "season" is for the rest of a person's natural life?
🥺😢🥺🥺😭
Self esteem and negative self image is another one. Speaking from experience.
Dude are u like inside my mind? Everything I think about you post
Michael Drake 😂😂😂 this is funny! Heyyyy Mikeeeee!!!
Idk who will read this. I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend. I often think it's because I'm not attractive enough. I honestly wish I had a boyfriend, but I'm waiting on God. I'm praying God will help me heal and be a better christian so I can serve God better and I can be a better christian partner. Just wanted to thank God and Allen for this, since singleness it's not a suffering position, I want to serve God in this season, and I want to think in a Godly way.
These are all my issues honestly and this has helped me realize that now is clearly not the time, thank you for your videos
Love what you two are doing thank you. Finding your people is important your messages resonates with our purpose. Thank you
Both men & women have to learn how to exercise self control this is not being taught at church lots of babies born to unwed families Churches avoid this subject at all cost it’s considered a judgement subject multiple kids by multiple men & women and has never been married is a huge problem is an HUGE problem in society Thank you
Single people don't know how good they have it!!!
I believe we can be joyful in whatever state we find ourselves in whether single or married! Thanks Harold,
It sucks to be single for the most part. If you're talking about being single and not dating that's a big difference from being single and dating different people, it can cost a guy lots of money and wasted time with girls who's looking for a free meal or movies etc. I'm married now but I remember single life it was tough.
Are you sure? Sometimes I wonder if married have it better. As much sex and fantasies as they want. God allows it. Yet if we masterbate once, it's a damnable sin =(
Harold Garnes true.
I am still single and happy.
Thank you for this loving response and I believe you are totally right. Satan just likes to act like my situation is the only one difficult at times. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was harsh when I made that comment. ♥
Very good!Let us not be afraid to allow God to do the work in US to make US worthy of the mate God has chosen!
The ending with the 5 questions/ things to consider in a potential mate was the best part of the video. In the culture of many Black churches, we overcomplicate dating and marriage and other churches focus on things like those 5 questions you posted. That is why their women are becoming wives and many of our women are living bound waiting on the "one Boaz" in a world of billions of people. All these steps, reasons etc. are keeping folks from living more fruitful lives and increasing the likelihood of prolonged singleness, dwindling faith in vulnerable areas etc. unnecessarily.
Any additional advice for Christian singles who have always been single and are still single?
Haven't listened to the whole video yet and already can tell it is a good one with point number one! Thank you in advance for this video!
I feel like people are getting married in the world, more than Christians... and as a believer whose been single and celibate for a long time, it’s honestly hard to understand this out of everything else I understand 🤷🏽♀️
I agree
I agree. There are so many Christian women I know, now in their 50s that have never married..I can think of 6 of these..all without children! And that's just me! I myself am not married but I was a single mum at a young age. I can't imagine not having a child. I feel for those who don't have any children.
I feel like it’s because if the lack of men in the Church
Thank you for this video it gave me a new perspective in my hindrances with Christ. May the Lord bless your ministry for the Kingdom of God.
I completely love hearing the beat.. It helped me understand revelation and it helps me hear Allans advise on being single. God bless
Perhaps the number of Godly men available and ready.
Women FTFY
LOL then get some women in my church! There are none my age.
Wow it feels like you’re talking about me really open in my eyes and ears on this one good video God bless you and I’m happy and proud to be single people always ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend I guess because God don’t want me to be in a relationship yet.☺️ I like your page.
Having good paying Job as a man too take care of your family because God has man as head of the house. I once heard a pastor say if your finances are not right that woman shouldn’t marriage you if you can’t buy her a home so I think money has a part to play what woman want a broken man.
Does anyone tell you that you look a lot like Denzel? Great videos too!
If Christians think from the perspective that you mentioned, i am sorry to bring the bad news, their aren't ready for a relationship, because they don't understand what a relationship requires. In fact, there are many things that someone need to consider before even thinking about the relationship. I wrote about it a book, where I mentioned a lot of thinking errors of our generation. And I give my friends a easy tip to understand: not everything in life that feels or looks good, is actually the best for ourselves. As we become more mature, we need to understand what ist best for us. The best training is while you are single, to choose people who are best for your life. You develop a skill to discern good and bad, independently on how nice/cool someone is. If you can master it in your friendships to choose only the right people, you developed the skills to discerning between healthy, functional relationships and unhealthy relationships. It's not driven by emotions (flesh) that mostly brings the bad results. Once you leaned it, you'll stop searching, you'll simply understand who can be a fit to your life, mission and vision. If you don't know where you go, or what will always have an impact in your daily life, why should you look for a partnership, for what? We can learn from god how to build and sustain relationships, by how he built and sustain them.
Wow this is what I needed to hear this exact moment in my life lol! thanks for this alan😊
Ouch, ouch and ouch!!! I'm single because, I have trust issues, I don't know how to hold my tongue at times and of sexual impurity. I can also be a little shallow. I desparatley desire to be married and it gets so frustrating. I know thaty we can't put a time limit on God but I'm 40 and I feel that my time is whinning up. LOL Thank you for this video. It's a real eye opener.
When you say "sexual impurity"...
I'm in my 50s and I'm not giving up..but I do have a child..
It wasn’t offensive I loved it some times it’s easier to here it from some one not in the situation thanks for putting your time a side to say these things glory to God you are a blessing
The reason I am still single is beening judge other women because of my age, material things also I have a disability and not getting to know the real me and also been put down for the wrong reasons and it breaks my heart. Do you have any suggestions. And please pray
Octavious Mckenzie hello, God love you the way you are first of all. If I can suggest something take the time to know yourself, to appreciate your own company by seeing yourself the way your father see you!!! Don't worry Jesus got you. Sorry for my english
Hello Octavious. God loves you and I believe God and has the perfect spouse ready for you. Just understand that is life is a struggle and you have to fight the good fight of faith. Don't be afraid or discouraged but God is with you and you will win and glorify the Lord. Just keep believing and visualizing your good future. If God be for you, who can be against you?
@@roseng8446 thank you and you are right
@@I_Lemaire thank you you are right
@@roseng8446 thank you
This is good honest advice, More pastors need to say these things today.
I'm still single because I love being single.I'm never getting married.I love my own freedom and myself too much.I'm a full time home student with special needs.I'm mentally challenged middle aged man.I live on disability money.I'm not marriage material at all.
LARRY KUEHN I understand how you feel I have a disability and I am single to
LARRY KUEHN you’ll be married next year
@@octaviousmckenzie2362 get a companion robot it is awesome
@@rootsauthentic9091 are you an astrologer
Enjoy the fruits of the Spirit
Yo! Paul did say it’s good to be single!!! Lol
he also said that not everyone is called for singleness like he is
My problem is I always wonder what my best friend thinks about me getting married and my best friend is my daughter she's a Godly young lady her and the family and I'm a Godly person but it's hard to find a Godly Man because they so worldly and stuck in materialistic things and wants to go out and party when I need a person to stand by me or let me rephrase that a husband that stands by me through trials and tribulations when I need prayer he's there right beside me praying or for others if that's what I ask and vice versa so that is the kind of husband I'm looking for
As 22yr old BM I’m focusing on my career as a RN. I really want to get my degree & have a career before I consider a marriage the one girl I was interested in when I was in HS with I would have considered her but she now has 2kids I saw her in the mall she was glad to see me she didn’t even mention she had 2 kids this is terrible I definitely don’t want a woman who has children.
I'm 24 and single, surely looking forward to a marriage someday but I have a feeling God wants me single right now
I’m gonna be honest as a 24 year old myself. The prospect that God may not want me to marry frustrates me. Of course I don’t want to put anything above Good but just because I desire God [more] doesn’t mean I don’t also desire marriage. Am I in sin for that? Forgive my venting.
Thanks Allen. That's some great info that is rarely talked about.
This video truly spoke to me. God bless you Mr Allen Parr 🙏🏽🙏🏽
I realize that I meant to be single so that means there are no Little copies of me walking around once I'm gone I'm gone I'm the limited edition to this world 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm 50 and never had the love of a woman genuine Christian love I'm a Faithful Believer and Follower to Christ its difficult at times however I have excepted it because it's God's Will not mine be done God's Grace is Sufficient AMEN God Bless you my brother in Christ
Being single is my true form. I've been rejecting other women because I CAN'T trust them. I'm WAY too devoted to the women in my family
I'm still single because there are FEW if any true mentally healthy Christian males available. In church, there're nothing but "old school" married men in church. I think my mission work has always been primary for the Lord. Personal romantic relationships do demand a lot of attention. I also gave up on it. Guys too often misrepresent themselves, so y don't trust them. I do have baggage. I also think I have a character flaw (i.e. anger issues, not positive enough, the only guys attracted to me are druggies and alcoholics but I'm not😟😲, plus high expectations that he needs to have a job and wheels).
May God continue blessing you with more wisdom,I'm blessed by all of your teachings, but this one I thank you