Fijn om te horen dat het goed met je gaat. Ik maakte me geen zorgen maar vroeg me wel af hoe het me je ging. Je spreekt prima nederlands. Ben blij weer een vlog van je te hebben gezien. Veel geluk toegewenst!
Greetings from a naturalized German citizen, former American. I moved to Germany 25 years ago and never looked back. I appreciate your reluctance partake in a coed nudist sauna, and can imagine that women may feel even more vulnerable than men. Before my first visit to a sauna in Germany, I was so self conscious that I traveled 2 1/2 hours from where I lived just to make sure I wouldn’t bump into anyone that I knew. I was even embarrassed about asking for admission to the sauna (instead of the pool). My nervousness quickly subsided when I entered and there was this huge house of a man chatting with the Saunameister. I quickly realized that the sauna wasn’t a place reserved for people who fulfilled some body stereotype, that the atmosphere was very relaxed, respectful, and also had a feeling of camaraderie. I have experienced all shapes and sizes of people in the sauna, and a huge range of ages. My experience has been that it destigmatizes the human body. It has also helped me feel less insecure about my own body. I now find the sauna to be extremely relaxing and enjoy visiting the sauna at our neighborhood pool, just a few minutes from our doorstep, fully unconcerned about bumping into a neighbor. People in saunas here aren’t completely immodest. Many wear bathrobes or wrap themselves in a towel, only completely disrobing in the sauna itself. Not everyone likes saunas, but they definitely are for everyone.
I've thought about it for a while, but I think that addressing each other about issues makes a good contribution to social cohesion. The mentality in the United States is generally much more focused on the individual and less on society as a whole. And yes, I sometimes get irritated when someone speaks to me about something that is actually about nothing 😕. But hey, better that way than letting everyone make a mess. And perhaps not addressing behavior is one of the reasons why the problems have become so bad in many places in the US. I don't know either and had never thought about it before. In any case, it would make for an interesting discussion 🙂
HELLO, from a Dutchie. We are just direct and straight to point. Just accepted it with a grain of salt. And by some AH Supermarket you can get bagels. Your Dutch quite good after that little time you are here.
Bagels are not very Dutch, but it feels like you can get them everywhere nowadays. Especially Bagels&Beans. It feels like every city has at least one. My fiancé from Florida was a bit weirded out the first time I took him to a sauna, but he very much enjoyed it. He still finds the nudity a bit awkward, but it's worth it :) Your Dutch sounds great!
Hello from Texas Ellen, good to see you are integrating into Dutch society so well and I offer my best wishes to your mother. I met a nurse from California when I was in the hospital undergoing chemo myself about 5 years ago. She had similar look as you and we would discuss her plans to return to Calfornia to complete her masters at Stanford Hospital. I enjoyed her time in Texas even under my less than circumstances.
Er zijn veel bemoeials en deeltijdomineetjes loerend op een gelegenheid om tegen een ander te preken. Toch is het niet per se verkeerd om uit andermans belang of een collectief belang te spreken. Dat dat alleen zou mogen als het direct jezelf aangaat alsof we niet allemaal dezelfde omgeving delen is ook wel weer erg inidividualistisch en Amerikaans. Als iedereen een eigen plek heeft en één parkeert op andermans plek dan moet die ander ook weer iemand anders plek gaan staan en heeft iedereen er gedoe mee, dan kun je het beter meteen proberen te voorkomen. Dat is ook wel een reden dat er weinig problemen zijn, als er een verpleegkundige op een parkeerplaats wordt belaagd dan grijp ik ook in en verwacht ik ook dat een andere man in de buurt mijn kant kiest. Er zijn sociale normen omdat die ons allemaal aangaan en dus ook collectief hooggehouden worden.
Parkeerplaatsen in een straat zonder vergunningen zijn openbaar. Belachelijk dat er mensen vinden dat een plaats van hun is. Gelukkig is dat bij mij in de straat niet het geval.
@@renevliex557 Veel woningen hebben ook gewoon hun eigen vaste parkeerplaats. Maar ook als dat niet het geval is, is het best handig als niet iedereen een end met de boodschappen hoeft te sjouwen maar voor de deur kan parkeren. Als je dat dan met elkaar afspreekt dan gaat dat ook iedereen in die afspraak aan.
Exact. Collectief. Helaas zie ik om me heen dat dát wel een beetje aan het veranderen is. We zeggen hier ook wel eens " er komen hier steeds meer amerikaanse praktijken. Helaas.
Als er een klein dingetje is en je laat het gaan dan schuift het op. De volgende stap is dat het volgende dingetje de grens word. Nu een parkeerplaats over een paar jaar is de grens een drum om 10 uur savonds. En over 15 jaar is het hier LA. En ja er zijn zeikerds maar alles laten gaan dan word het onleefbaar. Zo moet je denken.
Precies. Je kunt het idd bemoeizucht noemen maar tegelijkertijd kan je het ook zien als verdediging van collectief belang. Als iedereen gewoon maar doet waar hij zin in heeft dan werken de dingen niet meer zoals ze nu wel doen. Ik zie het daarom meer als verdediging van collectief belang maar als je het niet gewend bent snap ik dat je het als bemoeizucht kan zien. Een van de redenen dat we dit meer hebben dan in de VS is dat we hier dichter op elkaar zitten en in de VS mensen meer ruimte hebben (niet in steden) dus als je meer ruimte hebt kan je meer je eigen ding doen.
I live in the United States and just wanted to say thank you very much for pointing out the laziness issue. It seems like that is becoming a huge issue in this country. The idea that somebody that is completely physically able does not go in and shop for their own groceries is unbelievable to me. I don't think people realize that this is going to have huge social implications as people begin to feel more and more separated from each other.
OMG, wat spreek je goed Nederlands! Leuk je hier weer te zien. Ik herken veel van wat je vertelt. Parkeren of directheid van buren. Dat zelfde hebben wij ook als Nederlanders hoor en als Nederlander kun je hier ook last van hebben. Het hangt er maar vanaf waar je woont, welke wijk, wie je buren zijn etc. En ook natuurlijk wie je bent. Lovely kid! Volgens mij zit je wel heel "goed in je vel" met je gezin, studie, reizen. Top!
Interesting! I've been here for 2 years also. I haven't had anyone confront me. 1 guy commented to my Dutch husband that our dog should be on a leash, but that's about it. We live in the east of the NL and Ithink theyre more passive here. Im also older, 63, and honestly, if someone confronted me I'd listen, amd be nice, and then they'd better back off because I can be pretty confrontational when provoked. I'm an NP from San Francisco. I agree about the bagels...WTH?! Why can't I find a decent bagel?! 😂😢 You're Dutch is so awesome. I'm only at about A1, but I'm working on it. My 63 year old brain doesn't pick up languages as quickly as when I was 30! Dankjewel for all your thoughts!
Goed om te horen dat het goed met je gaat. Inburgeren gaat wel lukken zo te horen ;) En ja, wij zijn af en toe een raar volkje. We hebben zelf weinig problemen en sommigen van ons vinden het dan noodzakelijk om problemen op te zoeken.
I'd like to think that people being vigilant and correcting one another on small things (social control) is one of the reasons we don't have a lot of big things going wrong. When people stop caring, and perceiving these kinds of interactions as needlessly fussy, social control can disappear. When social control disappears, I fear it can become a sliding slope to a point where people don't intervene at all. It is very much a two-edged sword. No, it is not pleasant to be corrected in public by a relative stranger but there is a good side as well. In case of a car being parked in the wrong spot, I would just have accepted it with as much grace as I could muster. That is the best policy in these kinds of situations.
Hi Ellen! I am so glad you are back! I hope you had a great Easter! Bagels: I am Dutch and I love bagels, especially onion bagels. Now, last week I contacted Albert Heijn and I asked them why they don’t sell fresh bagels. AH: they will look into it. I am pretty sure they do get more requests like mine. So keep your fingers crossed! Keep your vlogs coming! 😘
I am Dutch and don't really like bagels. We have lots of ohter great bread items which they don't have easily available in the US ;there most bread in the supermarkets contains sugar even organic bread! At least that is what I noticed during my visit to Califormia.
Good to see and hear you doing so well. I had the feeling you were being rather busy, and your YT channel was not a priority. You seem to be more relaxed and your Dutch seems to have reached a very decent level. Jack sure has changed a lot ;o). Dank je voor de update.
Hallo Ellen, wat leuk om weer wat van je te horen. En wat spreek je al goed Nederlands👍 Fijn dat je het hier zo naar je zin hebt, je straalt ook helemaal als je dat verteld. Wat naar dat je moeder ziek is en dat je nu zo ver bij haar vandaan bent. Ik wens haar heel veel beterschap toe en sterkte aan jullie allen. Wij hebben hier in Nederland inderdaad erg veel regeltjes en daar slaan we soms echt in door. Maar ja,alles heeft z’n voor en nadelen. En zeikerds blijf je altijd houden😖 Trek het je maar niet teveel aan. Succes verder met je studie, ik weet zeker dat je een lieve en goede verpleegkundige gaat worden! Ben zelf net uit het ziekenhuis ontslagen en heb immens respect voor het werk wat jullie verzetten. Hoop dat je ons zo af en toe op de hoogte houdt. Bedankt voor deze vlog, liefs en 👋👋👋
Haha, yeah I believe you are completely right. The less big problems there are, the more people seek out the small problems. It's really irritating sometimes, but it does act as a interesting mirror. It shows us how good our lives generally are and how safe we feel in the Netherlands. But it's also a cautionary tale... what is gained can also be taken away. Peace and prosperity aren't a given and we need to be aware of that. Don't get bogged down by small irritations. Have patience with each other, show understanding and practice forgiveness. Have a nice weekend, Ellen! 👋
Leuk dat je weer bent! En ben zeer benieuwd hoe je studie en verdere leven is verlopen. druk, druk, ….. Des te mooier dat er weer video’s Enjoy live in all it’s good forms
Good to see you back again. Wow it's been a long time ago. Good to see you are doing so well. Your Dutch is amazing...well done. Curious how your future will be! Good luck
Great to see you back, Ellen 🖐 Wonderful how life is working out for you 👍( besides, naturally, healthy issues 😒) Just wanted to say hi. Greetings from the Hague
I think your right about the fact that the Netherlands has not much big problems to worry about and there focus more on the smaller issues (not following the rules) in daily life. Try not to get irritated about comments on small issues and think about how lucky your family is and enjoy living in the Netherlands/ Europe
Regarding the parking and buurman… its called a “samen”leving for a reason. If we all are a bit considerate we all benefit from it. Key is, we all mess up here and there. Dont take it personal ❤ Also, your dutch is great!
Hi Ellen nice to hear you're doing fine & also to hear some Dutch there! Around 15:00 you make a fair point abt the relative importance of societal issues. So allow me to widen the scope just a bit. Over the past say.. five decades, our little Dutch nation has been in the process of getting erased more or less, both formally as a sovereign country but also culturally as a people. You guys are most welcome for the end stage of that ride which in all honesty is of greater importance than ppl getting mugged in parking lots by homeless people. There's also another way of looking at this nosy kind of social behaviour. Yes, it can be a nuisance but to suggest that ppl should only speak up if their own interests are at stake.. dunno. On the positive side, it feels like privacy is respected but on the other hand it's also quite selfish. The sometimes annoying attempts to apply certain unwritten rules is what makes things work, especially where ppl live in close proximity of each other. It may also guard against a society in which only enforceable - as in official - rules are in play, which always ends up in a legalistic mess with only lawyers profiting. Cheers from Amsterdam!
I think that you judging the lack of bagels (Who besides you would pay for and eat a breadroll with a hole in it? Think about the baker being motivated to bake a specific kind of bagel, just for you, the one and only customer who wants them: that's not making any economic sense!), the comfort with which *some* Europeans deal with nudity and the way Dutch society functions *because* people stick to those rules, b y calling them "weird", says a lot more about you than about the Dutch. The violence that you "dealt with on a daily basis" "back where you come from" already says a lot about what is considered the norm for many Americans. Violence is normal, fear of others potentially attacking you on a daily basis seems normal, but nudity (or sex) clearly isn't. Just because you find something weird doesn't make it weird, it just makes it something you're not used to. As for your neighbour sticking that parking rule in your face: you clearly didn't enjoy someone parking in your spot, but then you went ahead and did the exact same thing to someone else. Your neighbour probably hoped that by pointing out your anti-social behaviour, you might not do it again the next time. If you don't repeat it, that makes it worth his one time investment in time and energy. Just because you think that you're laid back, doesn't mean that you are. Being ignorant of people's boundaries or established societal rules, that help to make it possible for a lot of people live together peacefully in a relatively small area doesn't make you laid back, it just makes you anti social. If you park in front of someone else's driveway in California, you might get yelled at or even get attacked. Just because a neighbour doesn't attack you for parking in their spot doesn't mean that it's a "small thing" to them. Him being direct, actually coming up to you and speaking up instead of letting it slide also serves to prevent escalation and violence later on, if you kept doing that and he was finally fed up, grabbed a shotgun and threatened to shoot you... As you might experience in the U.S.. Things are different here than on "your" side of the big pond, and the sooner you realise that and try a little more to imagine yourself in someone else's (Dutch) shoes and try to fit in, the sooner you might actually realise that there usually is a reason why things are different here. Calling something weird isn't helpful.
Nice that you are back. Hope your mom will be ok and recover fully. Eating a lot of bread is considered a step towards healthy (or at least not unhealthy), simple food and a bagel is bread made unhealthy. In The Netherlands not everything has to be the best or nicest that you can get. Funny enough, bagels were introduced to Americans by the Dutch. Everything in The Netherlands, like in the US, is offer and demand. If there would be demand for it (and I am very sure this been tried many times before), it is not profitable for bakeries and supermarket to bake and sell them. We are not a culture that is high on MSG and sugar really and believe everything should be available for convenience. Sweet stuff, desserts, snacks are available a lot and allover the place but Dutch eat them in moderation and having bagels and the toppings that come with it are the opposite of that. You have to understand that there is a modus operandi in the Netherlands, like any other culture for that matter. The reason why things work the way they do, how they do. It is hard for Americans to realize that other countries do not follow US standards or habits. We do not consider the US as an example and don't look at it for any reason, other than how not to do it really. We do not consider the problems in the US as a way we should behave in The Netherlands or even consider the huge problems there to adjust our behavior, rules, laws or culture. Most problems in the US we see as avoidable and one brought those upon one selves. We are not Americans with American problems on our mind and then apply them on another culture. We are Dutch and apply Dutch things on the Netherlands without looking at or considering the US. Here we have a form of social control where even people correct eachother and other peoples kids if necessary and, yes, it sometimes appears even as childish or insignificant, but that is The Netherlands for ya. Good thing is that crime is a lot, a lot less and kids can still play on the streets and cycle to school by themselves. To even consider to take someone else's parking spot is just not done and for most Dutch unacceptable and basically rude. Just as Americans see our directness often as rude. But this is the Netherlands and not an extension of the US (but the founder of yours btw). Just because it is not used, doesn't mean it is there for someone else to use. It has to do with respect and consideration I think where not acknowledging someone else's space and privacy is a big thing for us. That might translate into small matters like this but Dutch are very principled and that is not adjusted or "weighed" to the subject it occurs. For Dutch having principles means it either always applies or it doesn't. There is no grey area. As a Dutch, I fully agree with that and you can't be a little principled, on or off or according to the situation. And that contradicts hugely with the US where most is mitigation and compromising where we put our foot down and stick to it.
After a few months I watched your video again and realized that I need to add that there is a reason for our "social control" that made the Netherlands the way it is. Hence, the lack of this control or guidance that has made the US what it is now.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes, it was not me doing this. What i wanted to say is that i am proud of you that you can speak Dutch so well within 1 year😂
Interesting! I am Dutch and 1) also don't have a freezer because, supermarket is only 5 min walk away and my fridge has very low electricity costs 2) Regarding nudity: many dutch people don't like the naked saunas so they wouldn't go there. Most fitness clubs probably don't have nude sauna? But one can use a towel to cover yourself? 3) food trucks: there are many who want to offer healthy food truck food. But strangely those who got the permission first offered the unhealthy option and somehow the government doesn't give priority to those offering the healthier option. 4) regarding to what your "main" point: It is partly about rules. We live with so many people in a small country and things work because people largely stick to the rules. If we don't stick to the rules life becomes unbearable and people know that. That is probably why some people tell you off when you break the rules. Simple example: people wait in line at a supermarket when some people don't do that they will be told off because imagine everybody just tries to be first running for the counter.
Great to hear you're doing well, wish you all the best with your mother and the rest of your family and it's nice to see you back! 👍🏻 And the mix up in your last comment is really understandable, because to be honest, you do look like a typical Dutch girl! 😁👌🏼✌🏼
Hallo Ellen. That about parking is also very recognizable to me as a Dutch person. People also appropriate a parking space in our street, where there are public parking spaces. No one has a 'right' to a parking space, but do not accidentally, or on purpose if there is no other option, put your car in the parking space that someone else thinks is theirs. Then they try to correct you. Personally, I don't care, but I can imagine that people take issue with it. Oh, and in Eindhoven, where I live, there are 2 Bagel shops, so I'm sure there must be one in your area too.
Nice to hear from you again Ellen! Good to hear everythings going so well. And ofcourse, a very happy easter!! About the rule- thing, Sadly you're completely right. Even over here in the quiet east peoples irritationlevels for literally everything are sooo high! Somehow our country has become so much colder and unfriendly the past few years. This really wasn't always the case but somehow nowadays it seems people almost wanting to complain or irritate over minor stuff every day just for the sake of it.. It's one of the main reasons I enjoy going shopping and eating out in Germany much more over staying here now (and naturally because of the prices!)
Sometimes strangers confront you because they are miserable idiots, but often it is also because they truly want to help in case you do something 'wrong' and were not aware of it 'being wrong'. They just want to help you avoid it for the next time (when you might encounter one of those miserable idiots). In the past I have sometimes let car drivers know that one of their lights is broken and they appreciated this. The chance of being beaten, stabbed or shot over this is probable smaller here in the lowlands though... And I have seen bagels at AH so they should be available...) Love your Dutch! (and welcome back...)
My favorite “fast-casual” place in Amsterdam is Jen’s Bing (they have a to-go location and a dine-in location). Taco Lindo also opened up a small dine-in location near Bos en Lommer, which is pretty good.
Hats off for your much improved Dutch skills! The sigh "ach mijn jongen" says it all 😊 *edit* Your neighbor is a bemoeial who gets off at policing and micromanaging the area. Your realization "what are you om about?" was valid
2 jaar in Nederland? Dan verdien je een zeer groot compliment voor je gesproken Nederlands, daar kunnen heel veel immigranten en asielzoekers een voorbeeld aan nemen 👍
1) Every society has unwritten rules that most people adhere to to keep things pleasant for everyone. 2) You can get bagels in some lunchrestaurants, but they are simply not a thing here. I understand that you miss them, but you can always make them yourself! Good to hear you and your family are doing well and I wish you success with your exams!
Well, should you travel from Amstelveen to the centre of Amsterdam there are ten shops named Bagels and Beans... think the nearest for you is Antonio Vivaldistraat 1 or Parnassusweg 218 A'dam
I am originally from Germany, been in the US for 20+ years and now in Spain. It is true, that societies, like Dutch or German, have no other problems really, so they create these issues themselves on if you park in the right spot, or if you are ready when boarding the bus. They do not have to think about if they get shot when confronting somebody or get yelled at with F words. It might get a heated discussion, but in general it will end up with both parties walking away. I think there are no Bagels in Europe, because they are not fluffy. To me, a Bagel is "heavy" and when I eat it, it feels like it is laying in my stomach like a brick. I hope you get over your phobia when it comes to Saunas in Europe. If you ever are in Munich, you should visit Therme Erding. It is the largest Sauna resort in the world. It even has Restaurants, bars and hotels, many pools and all sort of relaxing things to do. It is a big Wellness oasis and nobody cares about you and your body. I think it would help a lot of people to get more secure about their body going naked into a mixed sauna, as you see all sorts of people, young and old, slim and heavy and nobody cares. It is how we are. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Don't worry to much about dutchie's you are doing fine. it wilol take some time to get your place in the netherlands. so far i am happy for you to get along well. and your dutch is getting there. Give it time to get more dutchefied (if thats a word) more than ever i hope you will get your own way in our weird culture. be brave, stand up for yourself and most of all. be normal. we love normal. cheers to you and your family
het is fijn dat je er weer bent fijn dat het goed gaat met je en met je gezin , de video was leuk maar even terug komend je wil graag bagels of een snack of een foodtruck ga een naar een snackbar daar hebben ze snacks voor de tussen door trek en het is zeer betaalbaar dus probeer het een keer (probeer een broodje kroket of een fricandel speciaal )
It is normal in the Netherlands with so many people in a close space to address a minor problem directly and make an agreement with each other. It helps if it is done in a civilised way but some people can get very upset. In the end it is better to settle than let the frustration grow out of bounds. There is a television program "de rijdende rechter' about that stage.
Great to see you again 🙂 Where to start: - send my best wishes to your mother - great to experience the ease with which you are talking Dutch! - you can find bagels in Holland. Maybe try internet - we grew up with this kind of nudity. But things are changing. Almost 70% of the women used to lay topless at the beach. Nowadays it is maybe 10%. - Spain and Barcelona are great, but we love to have you here in the Netherlands 🙂 - Parking. If there are no signs, no stripes or whatever, the road is public. You can park everywhere. Yes, people want to park in front of their house. Want is the keyword here. People can't claim that. Only disabled people can get a permit for a parking place in front of their house. Look for signs with a wheelchair, stripes, number of the car etc.
I think you're completely right that people are making up problems so they have some drama in their lives. I work at a local government and you wouldn't believe the things people complain about and ask the government to fix. This society is going to have a hard time adjusting to a time when there's less money and bigger problems. Luckily not everyone is like this though. And you can be very blunt to people like your neighbour that you don't care and they should bother someone else. That's usually enough to shut them up.
you doing great ellen its nice to see you back :And the rules well let me try to explain: Who is right and who is wrong? No one, of course, although we (and probably also people from other cultures) tend to regard our own norms and values as the only correct ones. Unfortunately, this is a misconception, too simplistic and often based on ignorance and short-sightedness. This limited insight makes it difficult for many to understand and tolerate other habits. It is understandable that misunderstandings and conflicts easily arise in this way. So if it is understood that certain things happen differently as a result of different norms and values, respect and tolerance can arise from this understanding. Without this understanding it remains difficult, you communicate on two different wavelengths. Both parties can then very easily unintentionally experience a feeling of misunderstanding or disrespect. Norms and values, two different concepts that we like to make sound like one. Norms are unwritten rules about how you should behave. Values are the underlying ideals that are designated as valuable; things that you find important, as a person or as a group. It is a much used term nowadays. It seems to serve as the foundation of our society, but the fact is that everyone has different norms and values. Because in addition to socially accepted values, it also has to do with what you personally find important. And that can sometimes clash. I hope this helps a little even we dutch fight with these rules sometimes lol
Wij hebben ook 2 vriezers hoor, koelvriescombinatie in de keuken en losse vriezer in de garage. Vooral voor brood en extra maaltijden, ik kook vaak voor 4 personen of meer terwijl we (nog) met zijn tweeën zijn
Hey Ellen, Bagels are not necessary in the Netherlands. YOU like bagels and that's a bit of home for you. But it is not our homes. People like to move to the Netherlands because we are well organized - because we have rules. Are those rules all necessary at everytime? NO! But that's the Netherlands ;-) I think you like to be able to get your American fix. I understand this.
Beste Ellen, Wat leuk om weer een blog van je te lezen! Ik wil graag proberen om het gedrag van je zeurende buurman wat te verklaren, hoewel ik hem natuurlijk niet persoonlijk ken. Over het algemeen is de Nederlandse cultuur sterk beïnvloed door het Calvinisme. Dit heeft positieve kanten, maar je zult ook vaak moralistische trekjes tegenkomen (het bekende 'wijzen met het vingertje'). Nederlanders hebben overal een mening over en delen die ook graag met anderen. Ik voelde de behoefte om dit te delen, omdat je dit waarschijnlijk vaker zult tegenkomen. Hopelijk kun je erom lachen in plaats van je lang geïrriteerd te voelen. Natuurlijk is dit maar een veronderstelling, want het kan ook gewoon zijn dat je buurman een zeurpiet is of dat hij zich gewoon niet lekker in zijn vel voelt. Keep up the great work; and I'll think of your mother in my prayers. Regards! Rick
Ellen the thing is, as also mentioned in the previous mentioned comment, is the difference in attitude towards the society as a whole and the small society in your small community,your neighbours, your street, which is considered to be a (probably) more important item compared to the us, I assume that the cohesion here, as it is a smaller country and thus people living nearer to each other there is more a necessity to make things which could be bordering you quicker clear to the other person and thus avoiding more irritation (if that would be the case) nevertheless it all depends on the way comments are made, I can imagine that sometimes it can be considered to be a bit rude .. which shouldn’t be the case of course …
As a dutchie myself, the complaining people baffle me to. I think some people just really love rules and get a kick out of enforcing them. I hope it's a dutch thing and other people are spared of such behavior. Also: I see such a difference in you! The last time I saw your video I worried that maybe our directness was making the experience of living here a bit of a dissapointment, but I feel like you are feeling more at home now. But the thing that stood out to me most is that you didn't do the 'usual american disclaimers' to soften your opinions. You are becoming dutch ;) of course no offence is taken, I'm just proud to see you pushing back in stead of getting run over! (Sorry for any weird phrasing. Unlike popular believe, we dutch people are not that great at english. At least not me)
EXPAT ELLEN, great video. I learned a lot. I don't usually subscribe to channels after watching only one video however you won me over. I've been learning Dutch for over a year and plan to visit the Netherlands soon. Is there a good language app you can recommend?
Hi about the person who confronted you about parking, in the netherlands there are not enough parkingspaces, thats why it is highly regulated, if people start breaking the rules the whole system of distribution starts to desintegrate,if that happens for some people this will mean that they have sometimes no parkingspace near their home. It only works if everybody follow the rules.
About bagels, I believe Jumbo and Aldi sells them. Not sure tho. Then we have Bagels and Beans. It's a franchise that have branches all over the place.
'We are living our life, and not eating bagels ' that cracked me up.:) I could talk about bagels forever !! You can put gerookte zalm on a Bagel ! Loved the bagel vlog, keep m coming ! It reminded me of Alf the tv show quote..'you are no longer a cat,....you are a ... BAGEL !!!
About the rules: There is not one set of rules 1. Government rules: E.g. in the Netherlands guns are restricted. People like that. We feel safer if less people carry guns. E.g. food regulations. 2. You got traffic rules. In the Netherlands (most) people follow the traffic rules. That's probably the reason we can drive on (relatively small) roads with a (reletavely) low number of terrible accidents. 3. Rules in organizations: e.g. make an appointment so we don't have to waste eachothers time with waiting. There are more rules, most of them to make (process)time more effencient. E.g. in the public transport: let people leave first and then new passengers can enter. Or enter the bus through the frontdoor so the driver can see that you check yourself in. 4. Social rules: e.g. wait in line to avoid confrontations. But also etiquette: social rules to make you more comfortable in social situations. Your neighbour and the carspot. If on the public street, I doubt if it is HIS spot. That's an example of an a-social person who tries to intimidate and force HIS rules. Lucky for you, you can fall back on the traffic rules, and you can tell him that it is a public road and everyone can park the car anwhere they want. Fun thing is, there is a social rule to park effeicient, leave room for other people to park their cars too 🙂 Confrontations and awkwardness starts when people are not following rules. It's totally accepted to explain that you don't know about ruling in a certain situation. Let them enlighen you to avoid confrontations in the future. You gave examples of situations where you (and other people) felt unsafe. Compare it to littering. If everyone is littering it seems not be a problem if you drop your waste too. If noone sweeps with Stop-signs there will be less people to follow that kind of behaviour too. Yes, there can be too many rules too. If you give a couple of employees of the government the task to make rules and give them to much time, then they will make (too many) rules. If you give them just the afternoon, they will come with less but more general rules that are probably good as well. If you have a problem with a rule, you can wite a complaint 🙂 Enjoy your stay and please don't move to Spain. We love to have you and your family here 🙂 Besides, you will probably want to move back soon, because of the lack of rules (waiting time) and the heat.
Beste ellen.wat mij opvalt is dat veel buitenlanders en vooral mensen uit Amerika praten over nederland en de directheid van nederlanders.toch wil ik zeggen dat het Noorden en zuiden van Nederland heel verschillend is.ik kom uit zuid limburg.enhier gaat het heel anders toe dan in het noorden.hier spreken we niemand aan voor een parkeerplaats als deze niet op naam staat.wij volgen ook geen agenda als iemand op bezoek wil komen.en als er bezoek is die lang blijft zeggen we gewoon maak het licht uit als jullie gaan maar wij gaan naar bed.dit is geen verwijt of zo naar het Noorden toe. Maar een verschil van leven.
En dit is altijd weer het jammere dat het hele Noorden op een hoop gegooid wordt. Het échte Noorden van Nederland is zeker niet zoals jij het hier net beschrijft. De Randstad is niet het Noorden, zal het gelukkig ook nooit worden.
Hoi Ellen, good to see you again and thank you for your update. You come across as a happy lady 🤗, so I guess you overall like it here. Some people do approach you to let you know you do something wrong, this might be to prevent you getting a ticket or because the Netherlands is very crowded so just follow the rules as they make everything work. Normally no bad intentions, so just accept it as is. I can imagine that nudity is an issue for you, as the whole American society is uptied with that, and even the more liberal Americans are less free with that than the Europeans. But, remember it is up to you to do what you are comfortable with. Some sauna’s do have a women only day I believe. Compliments on your Dutch, that sounds really good. I am sure you will pass your integratie test without any problems. I notice you still have to get used to the fact that when strangers approach you, you are not in danger in the Netherlands. So strange to me, however I did not grow up in the USA. Way more pleasant in this perspective to live in the Netherlands. I hope you will be on a bit more frequently, otherwise, see you next year 😜
I'm a dutchie living in the UK and I liked your parking story. I think you are totally right. The Dutch can be a bit over the top. We like to be right and are good a telling other people (read cultures) how to do it and what not to do. It is part of our perceived 'directness' I suppose. But anyway, I have had these parking issues here as I think just like you, what's the big deal. But here is seems to be also a big deal. Parking in front of someones house seems a no no. Honestly? Have you paid the council extra for that piece of road? Have you? No? Well then....... I'm not doing to annoy anyone but there are moments when these things happen. Anyway, lovely video.
Bagels are ( South) German and became popular in the USA. They returned to Europa as an American speciality. Just like Frankfurter sausages with sauerkraut (after WOI in the USA called hotdogs). Or the Dutch Oliebollen which became in the States donuts and returned as donuts to Europe. As for hamburgers the explanation is obvious.
Your lunch-wish is just down to a big difference between the USA and The Netherlands, and especially between high-end office workers and the less office-oriented workers: my experience is that a lot of office workers at (for example) the Zuidas tend to go outside for lunch (can't really blame them considering the environment they're in all day) and also buy their lunch at one of the very, very expensive small stores around all the offices there, while for many people with (especially) less office-oriented jobs, it's still the norm that you take your own lunch with you and eat either in a canteen or (if allowed) at your own desk. So if bagels are such a big deal for lunch, it's not that weird you have a harder time finding them here. A 'boterham met kaas/vleeswaren/sandwich spread' is still very normal here and buying lunch is something I consider to be a very American thing to do, not to mention how expensive it is to do so everyday.
I think the reason there aren’t that many big problems is because we confront each other about issues, together you make a great society not individually. But from what I know nobody has there own parking spot unless it’s reserved for disabled people or you have a private payed parking space in a garage but not on the road.
Fijn om te horen dat het goed met je gaat. Ik maakte me geen zorgen maar vroeg me wel af hoe het me je ging. Je spreekt prima nederlands. Ben blij weer een vlog van je te hebben gezien. Veel geluk toegewenst!
Greetings from a naturalized German citizen, former American.
I moved to Germany 25 years ago and never looked back.
I appreciate your reluctance partake in a coed nudist sauna, and can imagine that women may feel even more vulnerable than men. Before my first visit to a sauna in Germany, I was so self conscious that I traveled 2 1/2 hours from where I lived just to make sure I wouldn’t bump into anyone that I knew. I was even embarrassed about asking for admission to the sauna (instead of the pool). My nervousness quickly subsided when I entered and there was this huge house of a man chatting with the Saunameister. I quickly realized that the sauna wasn’t a place reserved for people who fulfilled some body stereotype, that the atmosphere was very relaxed, respectful, and also had a feeling of camaraderie. I have experienced all shapes and sizes of people in the sauna, and a huge range of ages. My experience has been that it destigmatizes the human body. It has also helped me feel less insecure about my own body. I now find the sauna to be extremely relaxing and enjoy visiting the sauna at our neighborhood pool, just a few minutes from our doorstep, fully unconcerned about bumping into a neighbor.
People in saunas here aren’t completely immodest. Many wear bathrobes or wrap themselves in a towel, only completely disrobing in the sauna itself.
Not everyone likes saunas, but they definitely are for everyone.
yes onlt one word for < your > country : Yousa =FAILURE
Hallo, long time no see, glad your back. Uw Nederlands is geweldig.
Slijmbal
I've thought about it for a while, but I think that addressing each other about issues makes a good contribution to social cohesion. The mentality in the United States is generally much more focused on the individual and less on society as a whole. And yes, I sometimes get irritated when someone speaks to me about something that is actually about nothing 😕.
But hey, better that way than letting everyone make a mess. And perhaps not addressing behavior is one of the reasons why the problems have become so bad in many places in the US. I don't know either and had never thought about it before. In any case, it would make for an interesting discussion 🙂
HELLO, from a Dutchie. We are just direct and straight to point. Just accepted it with a grain of salt. And by some AH Supermarket you can get bagels. Your Dutch quite good after that little time you are here.
Bagels are not very Dutch, but it feels like you can get them everywhere nowadays. Especially Bagels&Beans. It feels like every city has at least one.
My fiancé from Florida was a bit weirded out the first time I took him to a sauna, but he very much enjoyed it. He still finds the nudity a bit awkward, but it's worth it :)
Your Dutch sounds great!
is every sauna a nudist sauna in holland?
@@MinglingWithTheDutch I don't think they all are. I do know some that are, that will have special swimwear days
Hello from Texas Ellen, good to see you are integrating into Dutch society so well and I offer my best wishes to your mother. I met a nurse from California when I was in the hospital undergoing chemo myself about 5 years ago. She had similar look as you and we would discuss her plans to return to Calfornia to complete her masters at Stanford Hospital. I enjoyed her time in Texas even under my less than circumstances.
Er zijn veel bemoeials en deeltijdomineetjes loerend op een gelegenheid om tegen een ander te preken. Toch is het niet per se verkeerd om uit andermans belang of een collectief belang te spreken. Dat dat alleen zou mogen als het direct jezelf aangaat alsof we niet allemaal dezelfde omgeving delen is ook wel weer erg inidividualistisch en Amerikaans.
Als iedereen een eigen plek heeft en één parkeert op andermans plek dan moet die ander ook weer iemand anders plek gaan staan en heeft iedereen er gedoe mee, dan kun je het beter meteen proberen te voorkomen. Dat is ook wel een reden dat er weinig problemen zijn, als er een verpleegkundige op een parkeerplaats wordt belaagd dan grijp ik ook in en verwacht ik ook dat een andere man in de buurt mijn kant kiest. Er zijn sociale normen omdat die ons allemaal aangaan en dus ook collectief hooggehouden worden.
Parkeerplaatsen in een straat zonder vergunningen zijn openbaar. Belachelijk dat er mensen vinden dat een plaats van hun is. Gelukkig is dat bij mij in de straat niet het geval.
@@renevliex557 Veel woningen hebben ook gewoon hun eigen vaste parkeerplaats. Maar ook als dat niet het geval is, is het best handig als niet iedereen een end met de boodschappen hoeft te sjouwen maar voor de deur kan parkeren. Als je dat dan met elkaar afspreekt dan gaat dat ook iedereen in die afspraak aan.
Exact. Collectief. Helaas zie ik om me heen dat dát wel een beetje aan het veranderen is. We zeggen hier ook wel eens " er komen hier steeds meer amerikaanse praktijken. Helaas.
Als er een klein dingetje is en je laat het gaan dan schuift het op.
De volgende stap is dat het volgende dingetje de grens word.
Nu een parkeerplaats over een paar jaar is de grens een drum om 10 uur savonds.
En over 15 jaar is het hier LA.
En ja er zijn zeikerds maar alles laten gaan dan word het onleefbaar.
Zo moet je denken.
Precies. Je kunt het idd bemoeizucht noemen maar tegelijkertijd kan je het ook zien als verdediging van collectief belang. Als iedereen gewoon maar doet waar hij zin in heeft dan werken de dingen niet meer zoals ze nu wel doen. Ik zie het daarom meer als verdediging van collectief belang maar als je het niet gewend bent snap ik dat je het als bemoeizucht kan zien. Een van de redenen dat we dit meer hebben dan in de VS is dat we hier dichter op elkaar zitten en in de VS mensen meer ruimte hebben (niet in steden) dus als je meer ruimte hebt kan je meer je eigen ding doen.
I live in the United States and just wanted to say thank you very much for pointing out the laziness issue. It seems like that is becoming a huge issue in this country. The idea that somebody that is completely physically able does not go in and shop for their own groceries is unbelievable to me. I don't think people realize that this is going to have huge social implications as people begin to feel more and more separated from each other.
OMG, wat spreek je goed Nederlands! Leuk je hier weer te zien. Ik herken veel van wat je vertelt. Parkeren of directheid van buren. Dat zelfde hebben wij ook als Nederlanders hoor en als Nederlander kun je hier ook last van hebben. Het hangt er maar vanaf waar je woont, welke wijk, wie je buren zijn etc. En ook natuurlijk wie je bent.
Lovely kid! Volgens mij zit je wel heel "goed in je vel" met je gezin, studie, reizen. Top!
Leuk je weer terug te zien op UA-cam, en wat spreek je goed Nederlands, mijn compliment Ellen👌
Nice to see you are thriving! Thanks for posting.
Welkom terug Ellen,ik miste je vlogs al 😃😃
Interesting! I've been here for 2 years also. I haven't had anyone confront me. 1 guy commented to my Dutch husband that our dog should be on a leash, but that's about it. We live in the east of the NL and Ithink theyre more passive here. Im also older, 63, and honestly, if someone confronted me I'd listen, amd be nice, and then they'd better back off because I can be pretty confrontational when provoked. I'm an NP from San Francisco. I agree about the bagels...WTH?! Why can't I find a decent bagel?! 😂😢
You're Dutch is so awesome. I'm only at about A1, but I'm working on it. My 63 year old brain doesn't pick up languages as quickly as when I was 30!
Dankjewel for all your thoughts!
Goed om te horen dat het goed met je gaat. Inburgeren gaat wel lukken zo te horen ;) En ja, wij zijn af en toe een raar volkje. We hebben zelf weinig problemen en sommigen van ons vinden het dan noodzakelijk om problemen op te zoeken.
I'd like to think that people being vigilant and correcting one another on small things (social control) is one of the reasons we don't have a lot of big things going wrong. When people stop caring, and perceiving these kinds of interactions as needlessly fussy, social control can disappear. When social control disappears, I fear it can become a sliding slope to a point where people don't intervene at all. It is very much a two-edged sword. No, it is not pleasant to be corrected in public by a relative stranger but there is a good side as well. In case of a car being parked in the wrong spot, I would just have accepted it with as much grace as I could muster. That is the best policy in these kinds of situations.
Great to hear from you again. Nice that you like to live here. Greetings from the Dutch Veluwe nearby Apeldoorn. Good luck with your study.
Hi Ellen!
I am so glad you are back! I hope you had a great Easter!
Bagels: I am Dutch and I love bagels, especially onion bagels.
Now, last week I contacted Albert Heijn and I asked them why they don’t sell fresh bagels. AH: they will look into it. I am pretty sure they do get more requests like mine.
So keep your fingers crossed!
Keep your vlogs coming!
😘
I am Dutch and don't really like bagels. We have lots of ohter great bread items which they don't have easily available in the US ;there most bread in the supermarkets contains sugar even organic bread! At least that is what I noticed during my visit to Califormia.
And she is back! 👍 nice video Ellen, hope you're mom will get better soon! 👍👍
Good to see and hear you doing so well. I had the feeling you were being rather busy, and your YT channel was not a priority. You seem to be more relaxed and your Dutch seems to have reached a very decent level. Jack sure has changed a lot ;o). Dank je voor de update.
Hallo Ellen, wat leuk om weer wat van je te horen. En wat spreek je al goed Nederlands👍 Fijn dat je het hier zo naar je zin hebt, je straalt ook helemaal als je dat verteld. Wat naar dat je moeder ziek is en dat je nu zo ver bij haar vandaan bent. Ik wens haar heel veel beterschap toe en sterkte aan jullie allen. Wij hebben hier in Nederland inderdaad erg veel regeltjes en daar slaan we soms echt in door. Maar ja,alles heeft z’n voor en nadelen. En zeikerds blijf je altijd houden😖 Trek het je maar niet teveel aan. Succes verder met je studie, ik weet zeker dat je een lieve en goede verpleegkundige gaat worden! Ben zelf net uit het ziekenhuis ontslagen en heb immens respect voor het werk wat jullie verzetten. Hoop dat je ons zo af en toe op de hoogte houdt. Bedankt voor deze vlog, liefs en 👋👋👋
Haha, yeah I believe you are completely right. The less big problems there are, the more people seek out the small problems. It's really irritating sometimes, but it does act as a interesting mirror. It shows us how good our lives generally are and how safe we feel in the Netherlands. But it's also a cautionary tale... what is gained can also be taken away. Peace and prosperity aren't a given and we need to be aware of that. Don't get bogged down by small irritations. Have patience with each other, show understanding and practice forgiveness. Have a nice weekend, Ellen! 👋
Leuk dat je weer bent! En ben zeer benieuwd hoe je studie en verdere leven is verlopen. druk, druk, ….. Des te mooier dat er weer video’s
Enjoy live in all it’s good forms
Good to see you back again. Wow it's been a long time ago. Good to see you are doing so well. Your Dutch is amazing...well done. Curious how your future will be! Good luck
Great to see you back, Ellen 🖐
Wonderful how life is working out for you 👍( besides, naturally, healthy issues 😒)
Just wanted to say hi.
Greetings from the Hague
Leuk om je weer terug te zien. Je komt heel gelukkig over. Houden zo 🇺🇸🌷🇳🇱.
I think your right about the fact that the Netherlands has not much big problems to worry about and there focus more on the smaller issues (not following the rules) in daily life. Try not to get irritated about comments on small issues and think about how lucky your family is and enjoy living in the Netherlands/ Europe
Regarding the parking and buurman… its called a “samen”leving for a reason. If we all are a bit considerate we all benefit from it. Key is, we all mess up here and there. Dont take it personal ❤ Also, your dutch is great!
Love to see you are doing ok. Live ur best life!
Leuk om te zien Ellen. Ja ik heb jou wel gemist. Leuk om je te horen. Je spreekt goed Nederlands al. Wat is je zoon gegroeid zeg!!😃
Hoi, Ellen geweldig dat je er weer bent. Je Nederlands is heel goed! Heb wel een beetje gemist 😊
Good to see you active (& happy) again!
Hi Ellen nice to hear you're doing fine & also to hear some Dutch there! Around 15:00 you make a fair point abt the relative importance of societal issues. So allow me to widen the scope just a bit. Over the past say.. five decades, our little Dutch nation has been in the process of getting erased more or less, both formally as a sovereign country but also culturally as a people. You guys are most welcome for the end stage of that ride which in all honesty is of greater importance than ppl getting mugged in parking lots by homeless people.
There's also another way of looking at this nosy kind of social behaviour. Yes, it can be a nuisance but to suggest that ppl should only speak up if their own interests are at stake.. dunno. On the positive side, it feels like privacy is respected but on the other hand it's also quite selfish. The sometimes annoying attempts to apply certain unwritten rules is what makes things work, especially where ppl live in close proximity of each other. It may also guard against a society in which only enforceable - as in official - rules are in play, which always ends up in a legalistic mess with only lawyers profiting. Cheers from Amsterdam!
Wow, we are back to UA-cam almost at the same time :) Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts! Hugs from Almere
I think that you judging the lack of bagels (Who besides you would pay for and eat a breadroll with a hole in it? Think about the baker being motivated to bake a specific kind of bagel, just for you, the one and only customer who wants them: that's not making any economic sense!), the comfort with which *some* Europeans deal with nudity and the way Dutch society functions *because* people stick to those rules, b y calling them "weird", says a lot more about you than about the Dutch.
The violence that you "dealt with on a daily basis" "back where you come from" already says a lot about what is considered the norm for many Americans. Violence is normal, fear of others potentially attacking you on a daily basis seems normal, but nudity (or sex) clearly isn't.
Just because you find something weird doesn't make it weird, it just makes it something you're not used to.
As for your neighbour sticking that parking rule in your face: you clearly didn't enjoy someone parking in your spot, but then you went ahead and did the exact same thing to someone else. Your neighbour probably hoped that by pointing out your anti-social behaviour, you might not do it again the next time. If you don't repeat it, that makes it worth his one time investment in time and energy.
Just because you think that you're laid back, doesn't mean that you are. Being ignorant of people's boundaries or established societal rules, that help to make it possible for a lot of people live together peacefully in a relatively small area doesn't make you laid back, it just makes you anti social. If you park in front of someone else's driveway in California, you might get yelled at or even get attacked. Just because a neighbour doesn't attack you for parking in their spot doesn't mean that it's a "small thing" to them. Him being direct, actually coming up to you and speaking up instead of letting it slide also serves to prevent escalation and violence later on, if you kept doing that and he was finally fed up, grabbed a shotgun and threatened to shoot you... As you might experience in the U.S..
Things are different here than on "your" side of the big pond, and the sooner you realise that and try a little more to imagine yourself in someone else's (Dutch) shoes and try to fit in, the sooner you might actually realise that there usually is a reason why things are different here. Calling something weird isn't helpful.
Nice that you are back. Hope your mom will be ok and recover fully.
Eating a lot of bread is considered a step towards healthy (or at least not unhealthy), simple food and a bagel is bread made unhealthy. In The Netherlands not everything has to be the best or nicest that you can get. Funny enough, bagels were introduced to Americans by the Dutch. Everything in The Netherlands, like in the US, is offer and demand. If there would be demand for it (and I am very sure this been tried many times before), it is not profitable for bakeries and supermarket to bake and sell them. We are not a culture that is high on MSG and sugar really and believe everything should be available for convenience. Sweet stuff, desserts, snacks are available a lot and allover the place but Dutch eat them in moderation and having bagels and the toppings that come with it are the opposite of that.
You have to understand that there is a modus operandi in the Netherlands, like any other culture for that matter. The reason why things work the way they do, how they do. It is hard for Americans to realize that other countries do not follow US standards or habits.
We do not consider the US as an example and don't look at it for any reason, other than how not to do it really. We do not consider the problems in the US as a way we should behave in The Netherlands or even consider the huge problems there to adjust our behavior, rules, laws or culture. Most problems in the US we see as avoidable and one brought those upon one selves. We are not Americans with American problems on our mind and then apply them on another culture. We are Dutch and apply Dutch things on the Netherlands without looking at or considering the US.
Here we have a form of social control where even people correct eachother and other peoples kids if necessary and, yes, it sometimes appears even as childish or insignificant, but that is The Netherlands for ya. Good thing is that crime is a lot, a lot less and kids can still play on the streets and cycle to school by themselves.
To even consider to take someone else's parking spot is just not done and for most Dutch unacceptable and basically rude. Just as Americans see our directness often as rude. But this is the Netherlands and not an extension of the US (but the founder of yours btw).
Just because it is not used, doesn't mean it is there for someone else to use. It has to do with respect and consideration I think where not acknowledging someone else's space and privacy is a big thing for us. That might translate into small matters like this but Dutch are very principled and that is not adjusted or "weighed" to the subject it occurs. For Dutch having principles means it either always applies or it doesn't. There is no grey area. As a Dutch, I fully agree with that and you can't be a little principled, on or off or according to the situation. And that contradicts hugely with the US where most is mitigation and compromising where we put our foot down and stick to it.
After a few months I watched your video again and realized that I need to add that there is a reason for our "social control" that made the Netherlands the way it is. Hence, the lack of this control or guidance that has made the US what it is now.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes, it was not me doing this. What i wanted to say is that i am proud of you that you can speak Dutch so well within 1 year😂
Interesting! I am Dutch and 1) also don't have a freezer because, supermarket is only 5 min walk away and my fridge has very low electricity costs 2) Regarding nudity: many dutch people don't like the naked saunas so they wouldn't go there. Most fitness clubs probably don't have nude sauna? But one can use a towel to cover yourself? 3) food trucks: there are many who want to offer healthy food truck food. But strangely those who got the permission first offered the unhealthy option and somehow the government doesn't give priority to those offering the healthier option. 4) regarding to what your "main" point: It is partly about rules. We live with so many people in a small country and things work because people largely stick to the rules. If we don't stick to the rules life becomes unbearable and people know that. That is probably why some people tell you off when you break the rules. Simple example: people wait in line at a supermarket when some people don't do that they will be told off because imagine everybody just tries to be first running for the counter.
Ooit op je kanaal gekomen en nu via de youtube algoritme kom ik deze video tegen.En ik wou zeggen dat ik onder indruk ben van je Nederlands👌🤗
Great to hear you're doing well, wish you all the best with your mother and the rest of your family and it's nice to see you back! 👍🏻
And the mix up in your last comment is really understandable, because to be honest, you do look like a typical Dutch girl! 😁👌🏼✌🏼
Hallo Ellen. That about parking is also very recognizable to me as a Dutch person. People also appropriate a parking space in our street, where there are public parking spaces. No one has a 'right' to a parking space, but do not accidentally, or on purpose if there is no other option, put your car in the parking space that someone else thinks is theirs. Then they try to correct you. Personally, I don't care, but I can imagine that people take issue with it. Oh, and in Eindhoven, where I live, there are 2 Bagel shops, so I'm sure there must be one in your area too.
Gelukkig en gezond zijn. What else is more important in life. Nothing ❤
Leuk je weer terug te zien.
Wow! Wat goed dat je Nederlands zo goed vooruit gaat!
Nice to hear from you again Ellen! Good to hear everythings going so well. And ofcourse, a very happy easter!! About the rule- thing, Sadly you're completely right. Even over here in the quiet east peoples irritationlevels for literally everything are sooo high! Somehow our country has become so much colder and unfriendly the past few years. This really wasn't always the case but somehow nowadays it seems people almost wanting to complain or irritate over minor stuff every day just for the sake of it.. It's one of the main reasons I enjoy going shopping and eating out in Germany much more over staying here now (and naturally because of the prices!)
Omg you're back! ❤ 😊
Great vid Ellen. I think Hema does an ice coffee as well. My wife also prefers iced coffee on most occasions. Hope your Mom is better ASAP...
OMG !! Je Nederlands is zo goed !!
Wow, your Dutch is spot on!
Sometimes strangers confront you because they are miserable idiots, but often it is also because they truly want to help in case you do something 'wrong' and were not aware of it 'being wrong'. They just want to help you avoid it for the next time (when you might encounter one of those miserable idiots). In the past I have sometimes let car drivers know that one of their lights is broken and they appreciated this. The chance of being beaten, stabbed or shot over this is probable smaller here in the lowlands though...
And I have seen bagels at AH so they should be available...)
Love your Dutch! (and welcome back...)
My favorite “fast-casual” place in Amsterdam is Jen’s Bing (they have a to-go location and a dine-in location). Taco Lindo also opened up a small dine-in location near Bos en Lommer, which is pretty good.
Wat leuk je weer te zien en wat is jouw Nederlands goed! We love to complain in the Netherlands but sorry to hear how harassing that has been for you.
Hoi Ellen, welkom terug 😘
Werkelijk fantastisch dat je zo goed Nederlands spreekt echt super
Hi Ellen, it is not too late. You can still come to the Bevrijdingsfestival this year. Son Mieux is great and it is lots of fun!! 😉👍
Hats off for your much improved Dutch skills! The sigh "ach mijn jongen" says it all 😊 *edit* Your neighbor is a bemoeial who gets off at policing and micromanaging the area. Your realization "what are you om about?" was valid
2 jaar in Nederland? Dan verdien je een zeer groot compliment voor je gesproken Nederlands, daar kunnen heel veel immigranten en asielzoekers een voorbeeld aan nemen 👍
@obimk1104 Meer een constatering
1) Every society has unwritten rules that most people adhere to to keep things pleasant for everyone. 2) You can get bagels in some lunchrestaurants, but they are simply not a thing here. I understand that you miss them, but you can always make them yourself! Good to hear you and your family are doing well and I wish you success with your exams!
Come to Haarlem, Bagels and Beans in city centre. Not too far from Amsteveen
Well, should you travel from Amstelveen to the centre of Amsterdam there are ten shops named Bagels and Beans... think the nearest for you is Antonio Vivaldistraat 1 or Parnassusweg 218 A'dam
I am originally from Germany, been in the US for 20+ years and now in Spain.
It is true, that societies, like Dutch or German, have no other problems really, so they create these issues themselves on if you park in the right spot, or if you are ready when boarding the bus. They do not have to think about if they get shot when confronting somebody or get yelled at with F words. It might get a heated discussion, but in general it will end up with both parties walking away.
I think there are no Bagels in Europe, because they are not fluffy. To me, a Bagel is "heavy" and when I eat it, it feels like it is laying in my stomach like a brick.
I hope you get over your phobia when it comes to Saunas in Europe. If you ever are in Munich, you should visit Therme Erding. It is the largest Sauna resort in the world. It even has Restaurants, bars and hotels, many pools and all sort of relaxing things to do. It is a big Wellness oasis and nobody cares about you and your body. I think it would help a lot of people to get more secure about their body going naked into a mixed sauna, as you see all sorts of people, young and old, slim and heavy and nobody cares. It is how we are. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I think things work so well because they have all those rules
Je Nederlands is geweldig 👍🏻🙏🏼 goed gedaan 😃
Trots op jou!!🎉
The Efteling is much closer than Disneyland, and at least as good. 😀
Don't worry to much about dutchie's you are doing fine. it wilol take some time to get your place in the netherlands. so far i am happy for you to get along well. and your dutch is getting there. Give it time to get more dutchefied (if thats a word) more than ever i hope you will get your own way in our weird culture. be brave, stand up for yourself and most of all. be normal. we love normal.
cheers to you and your family
het is fijn dat je er weer bent fijn dat het goed gaat met je en met je gezin , de video was leuk maar even terug komend je wil graag bagels of een snack of een foodtruck ga een naar een snackbar daar hebben ze snacks voor de tussen door trek en het is zeer betaalbaar dus probeer het een keer (probeer een broodje kroket of een fricandel speciaal )
It is normal in the Netherlands with so many people in a close space to address a minor problem directly and make an agreement with each other. It helps if it is done in a civilised way but some people can get very upset. In the end it is better to settle than let the frustration grow out of bounds. There is a television program "de rijdende rechter' about that stage.
Heel leuk om je Nederlands te horen praten.
Great to see you again 🙂
Where to start:
- send my best wishes to your mother
- great to experience the ease with which you are talking Dutch!
- you can find bagels in Holland. Maybe try internet
- we grew up with this kind of nudity. But things are changing. Almost 70% of the women used to lay topless at the beach. Nowadays it is maybe 10%.
- Spain and Barcelona are great, but we love to have you here in the Netherlands 🙂
- Parking. If there are no signs, no stripes or whatever, the road is public. You can park everywhere. Yes, people want to park in front of their house. Want is the keyword here.
People can't claim that. Only disabled people can get a permit for a parking place in front of their house. Look for signs with a wheelchair, stripes, number of the car etc.
I think you're completely right that people are making up problems so they have some drama in their lives. I work at a local government and you wouldn't believe the things people complain about and ask the government to fix. This society is going to have a hard time adjusting to a time when there's less money and bigger problems. Luckily not everyone is like this though. And you can be very blunt to people like your neighbour that you don't care and they should bother someone else. That's usually enough to shut them up.
you doing great ellen its nice to see you back :And the rules well let me try to explain: Who is right and who is wrong? No one, of course, although we (and probably also people from other cultures) tend to regard our own norms and values as the only correct ones.
Unfortunately, this is a misconception, too simplistic and often based on ignorance and short-sightedness. This limited insight makes it difficult for many to understand and tolerate other habits.
It is understandable that misunderstandings and conflicts easily arise in this way. So if it is understood that certain things happen differently as a result of different norms and values, respect and tolerance can arise from this understanding.
Without this understanding it remains difficult, you communicate on two different wavelengths. Both parties can then very easily unintentionally experience a feeling of misunderstanding or disrespect.
Norms and values, two different concepts that we like to make sound like one.
Norms are unwritten rules about how you should behave. Values are the underlying ideals that are designated as valuable; things that you find important, as a person or as a group.
It is a much used term nowadays. It seems to serve as the foundation of our society, but the fact is that everyone has different norms and values.
Because in addition to socially accepted values, it also has to do with what you personally find important. And that can sometimes clash. I hope this helps a little even we dutch fight with these rules sometimes lol
🎵This is not America, no! This is not… Shalalala🎵
Sorry we have no bagels, we do have a slower life…
Wij hebben ook 2 vriezers hoor, koelvriescombinatie in de keuken en losse vriezer in de garage. Vooral voor brood en extra maaltijden, ik kook vaak voor 4 personen of meer terwijl we (nog) met zijn tweeën zijn
Hey Ellen, Bagels are not necessary in the Netherlands. YOU like bagels and that's a bit of home for you. But it is not our homes. People like to move to the Netherlands because we are well organized - because we have rules. Are those rules all necessary at everytime? NO! But that's the Netherlands ;-)
I think you like to be able to get your American fix. I understand this.
Beste Ellen,
Wat leuk om weer een blog van je te lezen! Ik wil graag proberen om het gedrag van je zeurende buurman wat te verklaren, hoewel ik hem natuurlijk niet persoonlijk ken.
Over het algemeen is de Nederlandse cultuur sterk beïnvloed door het Calvinisme. Dit heeft positieve kanten, maar je zult ook vaak moralistische trekjes tegenkomen (het bekende 'wijzen met het vingertje'). Nederlanders hebben overal een mening over en delen die ook graag met anderen.
Ik voelde de behoefte om dit te delen, omdat je dit waarschijnlijk vaker zult tegenkomen. Hopelijk kun je erom lachen in plaats van je lang geïrriteerd te voelen. Natuurlijk is dit maar een veronderstelling, want het kan ook gewoon zijn dat je buurman een zeurpiet is of dat hij zich gewoon niet lekker in zijn vel voelt.
Keep up the great work; and I'll think of your mother in my prayers.
Regards!
Rick
Wow, after 2 years you speak Dutch so well. Can you share the course you had? Did you take intensive lessons?
WAUW, wat is je Nederlands goed geworden!!! Super!!!!
You really do look authentically Dutch, I must say. No wonder that lady you mentioned thought see’d seen you. Ellens everywhere!
Ellen the thing is, as also mentioned in the previous mentioned comment, is the difference in attitude towards the society as a whole and the small society in your small community,your neighbours, your street, which is considered to be a (probably) more important item compared to the us, I assume that the cohesion here, as it is a smaller country and thus people living nearer to each other there is more a necessity to make things which could be bordering you quicker clear to the other person and thus avoiding more irritation (if that would be the case) nevertheless it all depends on the way comments are made, I can imagine that sometimes it can be considered to be a bit rude .. which shouldn’t be the case of course …
As a dutchie myself, the complaining people baffle me to. I think some people just really love rules and get a kick out of enforcing them. I hope it's a dutch thing and other people are spared of such behavior. Also: I see such a difference in you! The last time I saw your video I worried that maybe our directness was making the experience of living here a bit of a dissapointment, but I feel like you are feeling more at home now. But the thing that stood out to me most is that you didn't do the 'usual american disclaimers' to soften your opinions. You are becoming dutch ;) of course no offence is taken, I'm just proud to see you pushing back in stead of getting run over! (Sorry for any weird phrasing. Unlike popular believe, we dutch people are not that great at english. At least not me)
EXPAT ELLEN, great video. I learned a lot. I don't usually subscribe to channels after watching only one video however you won me over. I've been learning Dutch for over a year and plan to visit the Netherlands soon. Is there a good language app you can recommend?
Small problems become big problems if you ignore them or look away.
Hi about the person who confronted you about parking, in the netherlands there are not enough parkingspaces, thats why it is highly regulated, if people start breaking the rules the whole system of distribution starts to desintegrate,if that happens for some people this will mean that they have sometimes no parkingspace near their home. It only works if everybody follow the rules.
About bagels, I believe Jumbo and Aldi sells them. Not sure tho. Then we have Bagels and Beans. It's a franchise that have branches all over the place.
in like 2010 bagels where a thing here but only in special shops now you dont see them any more
Ik zie je voor het eerst, daarom: Je spreekt heel goed Nederlands!! De grote Vraag is natuurlijk: wanneer vertrekken jullie terug naar de US?????
'We are living our life, and not eating bagels ' that cracked me up.:) I could talk about bagels forever !! You can put gerookte zalm on a Bagel ! Loved the bagel vlog, keep m coming ! It reminded me of Alf the tv show quote..'you are no longer a cat,....you are a ... BAGEL !!!
About the rules: There is not one set of rules
1. Government rules: E.g. in the Netherlands guns are restricted. People like that. We feel safer if less people carry guns. E.g. food regulations.
2. You got traffic rules. In the Netherlands (most) people follow the traffic rules. That's probably the reason we can drive on (relatively small) roads with a (reletavely) low number of terrible accidents.
3. Rules in organizations: e.g. make an appointment so we don't have to waste eachothers time with waiting. There are more rules, most of them to make (process)time more effencient. E.g. in the public transport: let people leave first and then new passengers can enter. Or enter the bus through the frontdoor so the driver can see that you check yourself in.
4. Social rules: e.g. wait in line to avoid confrontations. But also etiquette: social rules to make you more comfortable in social situations.
Your neighbour and the carspot. If on the public street, I doubt if it is HIS spot. That's an example of an a-social person who tries to intimidate and force HIS rules. Lucky for you, you can fall back on the traffic rules, and you can tell him that it is a public road and everyone can park the car anwhere they want. Fun thing is, there is a social rule to park effeicient, leave room for other people to park their cars too 🙂
Confrontations and awkwardness starts when people are not following rules. It's totally accepted to explain that you don't know about ruling in a certain situation. Let them enlighen you to avoid confrontations in the future.
You gave examples of situations where you (and other people) felt unsafe. Compare it to littering. If everyone is littering it seems not be a problem if you drop your waste too.
If noone sweeps with Stop-signs there will be less people to follow that kind of behaviour too.
Yes, there can be too many rules too. If you give a couple of employees of the government the task to make rules and give them to much time, then they will make (too many) rules. If you give them just the afternoon, they will come with less but more general rules that are probably good as well.
If you have a problem with a rule, you can wite a complaint 🙂
Enjoy your stay and please don't move to Spain. We love to have you and your family here 🙂
Besides, you will probably want to move back soon, because of the lack of rules (waiting time) and the heat.
Top 👍 Great how you speak Dutch already 😊
Beste ellen.wat mij opvalt is dat veel buitenlanders en vooral mensen uit Amerika praten over nederland en de directheid van nederlanders.toch wil ik zeggen dat het Noorden en zuiden van Nederland heel verschillend is.ik kom uit zuid limburg.enhier gaat het heel anders toe dan in het noorden.hier spreken we niemand aan voor een parkeerplaats als deze niet op naam staat.wij volgen ook geen agenda als iemand op bezoek wil komen.en als er bezoek is die lang blijft zeggen we gewoon maak het licht uit als jullie gaan maar wij gaan naar bed.dit is geen verwijt of zo naar het Noorden toe. Maar een verschil van leven.
En dit is altijd weer het jammere dat het hele Noorden op een hoop gegooid wordt. Het échte Noorden van Nederland is zeker niet zoals jij het hier net beschrijft. De Randstad is niet het Noorden, zal het gelukkig ook nooit worden.
I am so proud of you Thatcher you canon speak Dutch so wellicht in 1 year
Hoi Ellen, good to see you again and thank you for your update.
You come across as a happy lady 🤗, so I guess you overall like it here.
Some people do approach you to let you know you do something wrong, this might be to prevent you getting a ticket or because the Netherlands is very crowded so just follow the rules as they make everything work. Normally no bad intentions, so just accept it as is.
I can imagine that nudity is an issue for you, as the whole American society is uptied with that, and even the more liberal Americans are less free with that than the Europeans. But, remember it is up to you to do what you are comfortable with. Some sauna’s do have a women only day I believe.
Compliments on your Dutch, that sounds really good. I am sure you will pass your integratie test without any problems.
I notice you still have to get used to the fact that when strangers approach you, you are not in danger in the Netherlands. So strange to me, however I did not grow up in the USA. Way more pleasant in this perspective to live in the Netherlands.
I hope you will be on a bit more frequently, otherwise, see you next year 😜
Zo knap hoe je Nederlands leert, en in zo'n rap tempo!
I'm a dutchie living in the UK and I liked your parking story. I think you are totally right. The Dutch can be a bit over the top. We like to be right and are good a telling other people (read cultures) how to do it and what not to do. It is part of our perceived 'directness' I suppose. But anyway, I have had these parking issues here as I think just like you, what's the big deal. But here is seems to be also a big deal. Parking in front of someones house seems a no no. Honestly? Have you paid the council extra for that piece of road? Have you? No? Well then....... I'm not doing to annoy anyone but there are moments when these things happen. Anyway, lovely video.
Bagels are ( South) German and became popular in the USA. They returned to Europa as an American speciality. Just like Frankfurter sausages with sauerkraut (after WOI in the USA called hotdogs). Or the Dutch Oliebollen which became in the States donuts and returned as donuts to Europe. As for hamburgers the explanation is obvious.
You can find bagels in Amsterdam, but Amstelveen waaaay to small for that (grew up there). You could start a bagel shop 😅
Your lunch-wish is just down to a big difference between the USA and The Netherlands, and especially between high-end office workers and the less office-oriented workers: my experience is that a lot of office workers at (for example) the Zuidas tend to go outside for lunch (can't really blame them considering the environment they're in all day) and also buy their lunch at one of the very, very expensive small stores around all the offices there, while for many people with (especially) less office-oriented jobs, it's still the norm that you take your own lunch with you and eat either in a canteen or (if allowed) at your own desk.
So if bagels are such a big deal for lunch, it's not that weird you have a harder time finding them here. A 'boterham met kaas/vleeswaren/sandwich spread' is still very normal here and buying lunch is something I consider to be a very American thing to do, not to mention how expensive it is to do so everyday.
I think the reason there aren’t that many big problems is because we confront each other about issues, together you make a great society not individually.
But from what I know nobody has there own parking spot unless it’s reserved for disabled people or you have a private payed parking space in a garage but not on the road.
I live in Limburg near the German border, they got bagels in Kaufland, but not fresh.