LOVED meeting you! I think you’re the real UA-cam star now 😉😘 so excited for your journey! You will definitely adjust to life here quickly with your incredible positivity and desire to learn and grow here! 🌱🌿
The secret is not to see your kid as an object mirroring your desires, but as a human being relying on you as a coach at a distance to find his/her OWN way through life.
@@kladblok2729 it's not nonsense. I know plenty of people who genuinely don't feel comfortable with their assigned pronouns and just using their preferred pronouns takes so little effort. it's rude not to
@@S_t_even She is talking about kids. If adults want to do it, i dont really care if people crave the attention. But dont try to impose it on children, it damages them beyond repair.
On our recent trip to the Netherlands preparing for our upcoming move, it struck me how present kids are in the public realm: out and about and at the store, riding their bikes, etc. This is in stark contrast to Oakland where I've lived for the last few years; even living across from a school, I have never once seen kids walking to/from it or around the neighborhood, even though there's shops and restaurants. The school is surrounded by a huge fence/wall and all the parents appear to drive their kids. I grew up in a midwest exurb and always wished I had somewhere to ride my bike instead of in circles around the cul-de-sac. The channel Not Just Bikes, by a Canadian expat, has videos that talk about how the Dutch built environment, among other factors, gives kids a lot of freedom and autonomy.
I'am 66 years old and still a happy Dutch kid. Lot's of sleep, no homework, playing outside, and chocolat for breakfast. Oh.... and offcourse a beer ocassionally :-)
Utrecht is one of the best cities I’ve lived in. I’m currently in SF. If you were ever deciding between California and the Netherlands, please don’t be an idiot. Go to the Netherlands. My wife and I will probably be back soon. All the best.
Great to see you evolve as a person and a mother in The Netherlands. No country is perfect and there's always things to improve but keep an open mind and you'll do fine.
I"m not saying Dutch kids don't cry or can't be annoying some days but in general they're far more relaxed. The first thing I said when you spoke about American kids cry a lot was 'they're tired'. I have American friends and I was SHOCKED to see what is expected from even very young kids. They have to get up very early (too early imo) and then it's run run run to catch a bus that's been driving around to pick up kids, then after school they have run again for all kinds of afterschool stuff, sport, whatever and then in the mean time they have 'dinner'. It's a constant fight against the clock and they hardly get the time to relax. Then when they finally go to bed they're all wired so it takes a while before they fall asleep just to be woken up far too early again, etc. No wonder they cry. They're exhausted!!
What helped my wife when learning Dutch were the TV programs 'Het Klokhuis' (informative magazine-like programme about culture, technology, science, environment et cetera) and 'Het Jeugdjournaal' (basically the news, but aimed at children). Both are informative, intelligent and not 'talking down to the kids'. They are almost daily on NPO 3 ('Het Klokhuis' only on weekdays), somewhere between 18.00 and 19.00. And when it comes to vloggers, have you tried 'Not Just Bikes' or 'Dutch Americano'?
As someone who thinks dutch should be spoken with a rolling r, don't fret about it, there are 20 different ways the r is pronounced in different dutch dialects. :)
Yes the rolling R is very Dutch! I have a throat R, I think you also did that one.. I just recently learned that some Dutch do the R with their tongue... crazy 😀
As a 16yo, i will confirm that child corners are the bomb. There is this “wok” where you can find like all kinds of foods, where they have a child corner for toys AND food. So if ur kid doesnt like unlimited sushi, he can grab some fries and soft serve! You can also go see a movie in the movie theatre where there are all kinds of pillows to sit on, or play fruit cutter, get face paint and so much more! My entire childhood is basically child corners and making friends there
Those circular tables with "Duplo" or "Lego" were the majority of my childhood! Even hospitals had those (unfortunately I was born handicapped & have seen the inside of hospitals a lot more than the average person. Fortunately I'm in good health though!).
Forget about hte book. Look up 'rust, reinheid, regelmaat' as being Dutch pillars of bringing up children. It goes back about 100 years. Still mindblowing, IMHO.
So, back in elementary school I had huge issues with long tail divisions. My teacher basically left me alone while the rest of the class was doing the exercise in front of the class. I took me 15 minutes to just suddenly "get it" looking at others solving the same problem. The teacher didn't put me down or anything, but he did encourage me once I got it. I think that's a major benefit of the Dutch education system, at least as it was back in the 90s. Another story is where a teacher turned multiplication into a game, with a duck trying to cross a pond up on the blackboard. There were leafs with different sums, answer them correctly within a set amount of time and you get to go on. At the very least it turns education into a game, and you're allowed to just figure things out watching others. Ofcourse, I wasn't known to pay the most attention in class back then, my report card in elementary school once said "he could do a lot better if the ducks outside weren't more interesting to him".
Very interesting. My kids grew up in the Netherlands and we actually had a lot of help using the book 'De Tevreden Baby' which was actually written by the American author Gina Ford. It doesn't really go against the Dutch grain either, so not mentioning this to disprove your info in this video. Just thought it was interesting. The main thing we got from that book is how to blind the room properly, which is very useful in summertime in the Netherlands as it is just way too light too early and late so your child otherwise can't sleep long enough. The book also talks about creating a healthy rhythm in order to free up more time for the parents. Another thing I noticed in the Netherlands is when your child does start to cry in a public space, most people don't give you the death stare, and sometimes even speak very relaxed about it like 'yeah they're kids you know'... Whereas I noticed in the US people are way more stressed and look at you like you should get a hold of your child.
The first my mother said, when my son was born, 'whatever you do, buy any toy, I guarantee you the packaging is more interesting to them than the toy', DO NOT THROW THE PACKAGING AWAY. That was a gold plated tip!
Recently was suggested one of your videos and absolutely love seeing you slowly getting to grips with living in the Netherlands. As to some off the differences you noticed between the USA and NL/EU work and life balance I can highly recommend watching the video "America compared" by Second Thought. Also the "not just bikes" channel (Canadian living ib Amsterdam) discusses some of the matter you mentioned (including getting arrested for letting children take a bus by themselves). Anyways really enjoy your content and seeing the outside in view of our little country.
You see a lot of little children running around the Albert Heijn. You also often hear calls from the speaker about little what's his name who lost his mama and is waiting at the service counter. Mama comes to pick up the kid and they continue with the groceries. No sweat.
Hey Ellen, now that was an excellent idea to follow and meet up with other Americans here in The Netherlands. One person I really would advise you to go and follow and go see her experience here in The Netherlands is Dutch Americano. Her name is Ava and she has a Dutch partner as well and she is here now for like 2 years I guess. A lot of things she's been through, you probably will go through as well and her development in becoming a Dutchy really is so funny to see ;-) The other person I would like to introduce to you here on UA-cam is: Casey Kilmore. She is Australian and she also has a Dutch partner. So funny to see her establishments as well when you start at video 1 as well.
9:34 This is actually a very common opinion in the Netherlands as well so you're not alone in that. Many people are advocating for delaying this decision until a later age and many secundary schools have all pupils mixed in the first year or first two years.
Don't be influenced by the hectic pace of others and social media. You are on the right track. My boys are grown now but when they were still in kindergarten we had a neighbours/friends with children the same age and we took turns taking the children to and from school. That was a five minute walk but with children it always takes longer. That way we or my friends didn't have to quickly dress the babies every morning to take the brother/sister to kindergarten and in the afternoon, after nap time, we could let the babies wake up quietly and not have to dress them again immediately to go outside to walk to kindergarten again to pick up their brother/sister. As parents you help each other out. If you have someone like that around I would definitely try that if I were you.
Another good thing about the different levels at a young age is that it's just that level. It sets the bar and when the kid gets clears that bar it's all right. The kids don't have to compete for highest grades, just high enough will do, some will but they don't have to. That's the so called 'zesjescultuur', which can be very liberating for kids, no unnecessary stress and it makes school more about learning than showing how smart you are. Lots of good students also have a couple of bad years in high school when it comes to academic performance, because they hit puberty and get into all kinds of trouble or just other things. So they have a year with more 6's than 8's or even might to have to redo that year, but it's not hurting their future.
Essential for all kids in the Netherlands: swimming lessons. As soon as you can (also there are often waiting lists :/). Often dutch children first learn how to swim and then go off doing other sports. Though we do not tend to cram a 100 different things in a week for kids, to make sure they have time to play (outside) and relax.
Also: I would recommend looking at toddler swim sessions at your local pool. They help to get children to get familiar with water and then when they go on and learn to swim they are not afraid of water. It can also be a great bonding moment with you kid. My grandma used to take me to those sessions when I was a toddler :)
About your ‘Spanish’ R in Dutch, don’t worry. It’s perfectly acceptable. If you can do the ‘French’/‘German’ R that’d be more in line with how most Dutchies pronounce it. Even the ‘English’/‘American’ R can be heard being used by native Dutchies. What type of R someone uses depends greatly on the person’s background. It’s a regional thing, an educational thing (more in the sense where one was educated and what R was common there than the level of education). And then there’s the thing that one person rarely uses one type of R. It’s usually a combination of the Spanish or French R with the English R, but in a pretty much fixed pattern. In my personal case I mix all three Rs. And sometimes I drop the R all together. If you’re aiming for that “pro” pronunciation of using a combination of Rs, then I wish you luck. If you want to sound perfectly acceptable then I’d suggest to stick to the French/German or Spanish R. Both really are fine. Using the English R all the time is acceptable, but a bit weird to most Dutch ears. Also sometimes using the English R all the time might make it just a little bit harder for people to understand, which is not an issue with the Spanish and French Rs. So whatever R you are using, don’t fret too much. Getting a perfect (or close enough) G (either the soft or hard version), OO, UI, EU is much more important for understandability reasons.
Spend time with your kids. Start now and always do that. Breakfast together and evening meals together. The less stress parents have...the less stressend kids are. Give them structure. Your not the best friend of your kid....your the parent.maybe later when They are adults the friendship thing comes....but best friends are not the best teachers for kids
I agree. My mom was my best friend, but she always made it clear that she was my mother first of all. Every year I got more freedom and she told me that she had to take it slow, because she did trust me, just not society. Once I became an adult, we became best friends more than anything. She’s still my mother, but we do everything together and I think her honesty in her parenting, admitting to her own faults and letting me invite friends over so we could try our first alcoholic drink in a safe environment. I’m blessed and want to be just like her.
Expats laugh little about our scedules and mostly it is somewhat exagerated (it's ok were not offended), but now you maybe understand why we like to use them so much. Rust Reinheid Regelmaat. The big 3 R's. Orriginaly invented by another great nurse. Florence Nightingale and used to make famous in the Netherlands by a dutch nurse called Aafke Gesina van Hulst. (You should read in to her accomplishments. It will give you a great insight in the history of our dutch nursing and how it is mostly still appied today.) The 3 R's is for children great, but also for big children they call adults. ;) And don't feel bad there are sometimes pretty unhappy dutch children too. Every child is unique and a parent needs to figure out their manual without receiving it. It is the most difficult task out there, but also the most rewarding task when you come to realize you've done not such a bad job afterall and you will; trust me. I can tell by the calmness you posess and shine through in your videos, you have a great skillset hiding in you to transfer and project on your child. You can do this! How hard it may seem, sometimes. He will be a happy one, now that you can provide him an environment where he can develop his skillset to a nother level. One that maybe never would have been revealed, when he would be brought up in the U.S. and you know what is even better? You can give him the best of both worlds. ;)
I’m an American about 30 years older than you are and this kind of stuff was going on when I had my child in the 1988. Involvement in numerous activities, tons of toys, electronics given to my son’s peers as they got older etc. My husband and I chose not to participate in activities anywhere to the extent of other parents. Our son had plenty of downtime. We helped him choose a few activities. These included outdoor activity with Boy Scouts, YMCA sports and an occasional church activity. We chose not to feel pressed into the super busy lifestyle other parents did. I am one who has never been a follow the crowd person. Our son now works and lives in the NL with his Dutch wife, and hope our future grandchildren have the kind of childhood you describe for Dutch children.
Costumes, Utrecht Centraal is right next to the "Jaarbeurs". a huge event complex where a lot of conventions happen etc. Hence you see that a lot there. Amsterdam has one as well, Amsterdam RAI, etc. But that one is right in the center of the city Utrecht. That tape or w/e it was at the end, that sounded SO bad from the tape.....
It's not as good now with all the kids having tablets and a tv in their room but I remember when seeing a kid with blue circles under their eyes from a lack of sleep was so rare that you noticed when you saw it. Also I found the concept of being woken up in the morning to get breakfast and go to school strange. I do not remember my mom having to shake us awake out of a deep sleep like these kids in the U.S. We went to bed way earlier. I had an american mother once ask me how you'd put a kid to sleep when it's still light out, I asked her what did she think curtains were for, keeping the window warm?
Put your kids,on sports from the age of 7. Or scouting. The triangle sport, school home keeps them busy and less time on internet. Helps them...and you to interact with a new part of the netherlands
Hi, I was wondering if you know of and been to Efteling in the south of the Netherlands ? Efteling started out as a fairytale forest surrounded by two big lakes showing all the fairytales in real life, plus a talking real size tree, a real size man puppet with the longest neck in the world, dancing shoes that magically dance on their own and a big toy donkey that lifts up it s tail and poops fake golden Efteling coins for people to catch as memory to Efteling. Later on they added all sort of things like one of the biggest fountain shows in a lake in the world, rollercoasters, dark rides, indoor rides with colorfoul moving puppets animotronics (even a real size whale), a madhouse, interactive indoor rides with moving puppets also animotronics, a 20 minute show with real horses and knights, little boats that are pulled forward in the lake automatically you can sit in for a boat ride across the lake, a big platform where a lot of people can stand on that goes slowly up in the air so people can overlook the entire forest, park, hotel and lakes. Efteling was built before Disneyland / world even existed. Mr Disney has been video recorded visiting the Netherlands so he could have taken ideas from Efteling, but nobody really knows if Mr Disney actually visited Efteling. Efteling It is one of the best themed themeparks in the world with emphasis on theming. Of course a lot of parents and grandparents with children go there, but one should been there at least once in their life visiting or living in the Netherlands 😀. It is basically a big forest with two big lakes and there happens to be a big themepark inside of it, so you can enjoy a day in nature as well . It is a two day park to see everything, they also have a themed hotel in which people can stay where staff entertains the children as dressed up characters telling stories and such. They are now building a second 50 million euro hotel with no doubt excellent theming as well. The entrance of Efteling looks straight out of an adventure movie and is called House of The Five Senses. Thought maybe you would like knowing about it !
You're doing amazing trust me. And the reason I know that is because you really go and look to find what is best for your son. You really go out of your way for him. And that is the most important thing. All the rest will follow (;
It is very interesting to hear your experience of the differences! But... please don't blame your parenting strategies for your kid being a little less chill than some other kids you have witnessed. Children vary wildly in their temperament and there's also probably some bias in when you observe your own child (always) and when you witness other people's children (only when they seem well enough to go out and stay out).
You touch on a subject that is still also a struggle for young moms in Western Europe: Being a mom is glorified and put on a pedestal. And yes there are happy moments but there are also a number of moments that you feel you're the worst mom in the world. And there are definately aspects on being a parent that are not rose colored and easy going. Parenting can really influence your relationship with your partner in a disasterous way. Not for every one but it happens more than people dare to admit. Sometimes you just want to fast forward or sometimes you really would like help. And on the subject of help : At times people bombard you with opinions and you get frustrated. Please you do you. At the end the most important is love your child or children ! And sometimes that means being strict and have rules and consequences. And also: LLove yourself! Take some time to do SOMETHING for YOU! A happy mom is the best mom. In the USA life is very competitive. And much more show off your money and status.. Don't fall for this trap. Your Dutch is progressing well Ellen! I love that you take the effort.
Kids corner in restaurants: I always had the feeling Eastern Europe (and my experiences then are primarily from multiple holidays in the north-east of Poland and in Lithuania) actually restaurants were a lot more child friendly in that regard.
Hey Ellen, I forgot to mention that a fellow American lady UA-camr called: A Wanderlust For Life (in Amsterdam) is probably going to be a huge source of information for you, since she's been here for several years (7 years ?)now. You may want to check her video channel...
As a 60's kid i was always out and about with friends on weekends or after school time, we were always outside and game back into the home when the streetlights went on, we had seasons for all kinds of games like jumping rope or play with marbles. I did the same with my kids later and never had any problems with them sleeping or misbehaving anywhere. We went to restaurants and they fell asleep near the loudspeakers that played. They were both born at home and i never minded any noise from the start so they could get used to that from day 1. The same now with my granddaughter, such a lovely mellow girl. Hope your boy grows into that as well
Hi. Your biggest fan here. ;) It seems to me you are finally settling in to the Dutch way of life. You started talking to other expats and even reading some books. The preparation I talked about. Btw I love Jovie's home. Don't worry to much about the language. We do like and appreciate it when you make an afford but switch to English if we hear an accent. So focus on the lifestyle. As a Bushcraft, Outdoor & Survival instructor I can only say stay away from the X Box or whatever they come up next but go for walks in nature. Your kid will get much more and more beautiful stimulation there. Being the founder and president of the Dutch Bushcraft Association we did have parent/child weekends. For a bit older children of course. We never had the rule of put the cell phone away. But after a few hours both parents and children did. You made the right choice to come to Holland. Keep adapting and your kid will also be the happiest on earth. And so will you.
One thing why we let kids play on their own outside is usually we are a pretty tight community, at least in the small cities and "Dorpen" Like i don't have any kids myself, but I know every kid and parent in my street(and even outside my street) by name and where he/she belongs so if Anything happens I know where to take him/her (to the parents of course) See the video of "Not just bikes " Title is "Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia (and moved to the Netherlands instead)" its a great video and gives you some differences between The Netherlands and Canada ( okay Canada is not the US but its very similar Loving the videos keep it up!
Hi Ellen, very interesting to hear you talk about the differnces in parenting between The Netherlands and the USA. What struck me most was that parents can get arrested in the USA for letting their kids run free... That doesn't fit in the "Freedom religion" of the USA at all ! Yes, being independant where it concerns friendships is important in our country. People like Staci could help you on that too. Learning to speak Dutch ofcourse is a big help too. Don't hesitate to practice on random people..
Hi, if you want to learn Dutch you van go to the nuns in Vught.. They have a language school. You go for 1 week intern and you speak our language. I used to work for an American company and we had new colleagues coming in from all over Europe and a couple went there. They spoke impressively good Dutch in one week and the rest never learned Dutch at all.
I didn't cry as a baby to the point that they thought I could not feel pain. My mother twisted my skin on purpose to check. I onley looked at her with look as "what are you thing you are doing" Well my mother told me this.
Hahaha, rust regelmaat en reinheid. They may sound a bit outdated as a mantra (and knowing that this mantra was developed in 1915 doesn't help to see it as the three magical words that are still current and up-to-date) but they actually still are of great current value. Thanks to Dr Spock the three R's can be applied not only to very strict upbringings but in a more modern upbringing too.
There are like 3 types of R's in Dutch (also depending on the region). The American R is there mostly in the end of words (not in the South). The rolling R often at the start of words. And lastly: in the South we have a throat R. Kinda the same place where you put the hard G (which we don't have, we have the soft G) LOL.
Nice video! Dutch parents are sometimes seen as reluctant to respond to crying babies .. we are not! We just don’t praise a child for negative attention, the baby must adapt its strategy… and they will! So just wait a bit when a baby cries in its bed.
"All this Pinteresty stuff" pinpoints the problem (pun intended). So many people are worried about their appearance towards others. All the beautiful (but unrealistic) stuff you see on Pinterest, Instagram, and what have you. One has to be the best, do well, and be successful. Even when this brings more stress and anxiety.than happiness. No! Focussing on healthy inner happiness is the way to go!
In the Netherlands people don't practice child worshipping like you see A LOT in the US, but actually educate their children as of day one, starting with morals and social skills, so they'll be ready for life the moment they reach the age of 18 or sooner!
Exactly. Long maternity leave helps. A good work-life balance helps. Being really free from work on the weekends, holidays and evening helps. Living in a culture that is not extremely competitive (compared to the US) helps. Being happy about the little things in life instead of wanting to consume more and more helps. Having the mindset that failure is okay (because we're humans. And because we learn from making mistakes) and not the end of the world helps. And what helps a lot, is living in a safe country. A safe environment in which children can play, walk, cycle, etc. without being chaperoned by their parents all the time. And indeed, all these things lead to a relatively low stress level of the parents, which reflects on their children. Looking to your own country through foreign eyes is very helpful to appreciate what you have.
Dankjewel voor het kompleet. Maar het is echt Normaal hier. Als je een kind, de zorg kan geven. Huilt een kind ook niet. En dat is echt Netherlands. Agenda!! Wij maken, afspraken. Buiten de tijd dat de kleine slaapt. Ja,nog meer durk. Op je Agenda? Groetjes uit Spakenburg Gerben T and Gabriëlle van uit Spakenburg.
The sounds of the 'ei', 'eu', 'oe', 'ou' and 'au', or the differences between 'h' and 'g' at the start of a word, or the difference between a/aa, e/ee, o/oo and u/uu are difficult for non-natives, But you'll get there with enough practicing it in the old way of raising young kids: with plenty of Rust, Regelmaat & Reinheid ;-)
Yeah, it comes as it comes, within healthy discipline. We let children figuring a lot out by themselves. They have toys and sports, but let them figuring out a lot naturally.
Ik was eerst begonnen in het Engels, want ik wil dat mijn boodschap zo goed en helder mogelijk overkomt, maar zo leer je niet echt goed Nederlands uiteindelijk! 🤔... Ik denk dat er andere belangrijke factoren nog ontbreken🤨Ook ben ik het niet helemaal eens met je beeld van ons Nederlands educatief systeem, mijn mening en beeld is anders en ik heb het persoonlijk doorlopen in NL. Ik vind het goed van je dat jij je intellectueel ingraaft in bepaalde thema's en hoeken, bijt je er alleen niet te veel vast op. Waarom Nederlanders lang zijn, en dit is ook een gemiddelde en vertekend beeld, is al meer maals onderzocht, ook andere landen zijn mensen langer aan het worden. Hoe meer je naar het zuiden gaat, het Romeinse Rijk deel in de geschiedenis van Nederland, hoe minder "Nederlands" de Nederlanders zijn. Ook groeit vrijwel alles naar de zon, en met de dijken, hoofd boven water. Evolutie in zijn werk. Hoewel ik niet kan ontkennen dat het slapen er eventueel wel ook mee verband heeft, zal slapen alleen niet 'het' antwoord zijn. Mijn extreme groeispurt was vermoeiend, maar zonder goede brand/bouwstoffen kom je niet ver. 🧐 Het temperament van de ouders is ook veel bepalend in het temperament van de kinderen, als ook het opvoeden - en dan nu "It takes a village to raise children", een samenleving, met cohesie, met rust, regelmaat en reinheid; Nederland. Je kaart aan dat hier moeders meer en langer verlof krijgen voor kinderen en kinderen krijgen, daarnaast kunnen mannen ook inspringen, dan zijn er nog in America de stress factoren van rekeningen en dokters kosten, die zijn hier niet. De manier waarop er met zwangerschap en baren wordt omgegaan in Nederland versus Amerika. Al dit, deze stress van ouders hebben heel duidelijk en natuurlijk een impact op het kind, de baby = huil baby. Mijn zus was een huil baby - ik niet, de zwangerschap was anders tussen mijn zus en mij, hoe mijn moeder er mentaal instond was anders, etc. Dan nog de persoonlijkheden van mijn zus en mij, en ik was een toevoeging in een gezin, er was al een kind, bij mijn zus was dit anders toen zij het eerste kind van mijn ouders was. Nurture & Nature - in psychology en evolutie. 🤓 In mijn beleving deed je niet falen, en in Nederland is er bijna niemand die perfect ABN Nederlands spreekt. Perfectionisme is niet altijd het beste. Van falen leer je, dus je hebt een persoonlijkheid en een accent. Cabaretiers welke personages creeeren spelen met accenten, en dialecten? 🤫
You should speak Dutch more with your Spanish tongue!! Dont get me wrong you are doing it great but i think than it sounds better and easier to pronounce. If you speak Dutch with an American tongue, you sound like somebody from the 035 Area!! Anyway i love your attitude and video’s and wishing you and your family the best!!🧡
From what i've learnt about USA until now it seems life there is everything but organic and natural....it's no wonder there is so much artificial conflict and overall lack of community besides the rural part which is tiny compared to US urban centers. From the planning of the living areas that cater towards cars so much that they sacrifice the community for autistic feeling of having special zones for different stuff not taking into account the human that should be using that same area for living. Wherever you go in Europe due to organic development of living area stuff will be similar in one way or the other plus contextual differences. I have a feeling city planners were doing some major experimentation in the US and simply failed to learn anything from it pretending it was success all along.
You say American mothers have to go back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, but Dutch moms have to go back to work 12 weeks after giving birth so that's not much different. Also, 40 hours work week is kinda "normal" for The Netherlands too. Yes, you can get 32 hours work week, for a lower salary but that's not such a big right. The Netherlands has actually one of the systems that is closest to the American when it comes to these things. Other countries in Europe, Germany being and example, but also Scandinavian countries, have way more to offer.
In the Netherlands, maternity leave is 4 months by law. The mother chooses when it starts. So if she wants, she can work until birth. Or she can take the last weeks of her pregnancy off. If she needs longer than the 4 months: everybody has 20 vacation days by law (based on a 40 hour work week). She can add that, and many employers will allow extra leave if needed. About the 40 hours work week, the Netherlands is actually nr 1 in Europe when it comes to part time work. Many couples switch to part time after they have kids, even the men.
Such interesting analyses coming from another culture. Dutch people do not realize the privilege we have here. Hope you can learn Dutch but love your accent.
The comment on dividing in to different streams. Yes that regrettably happens. I say regrettably because it really does not work. Simply because the age is to young. Me, I was send to the lower technical school, oké fine. But my brain took some leaps from then. So although not trough education,(self education helpt more) now I am ship Desiner engineer. All despite the education I had to be a baker, cook or waiter(of course nothing wrong with those jobs, but not challenging for me) . So this is to illustrate that this system, in my opinion is totally wrong.
The proper Dutch pronunciation of the r has the tip of the tongue rolling against the inside of the upper jaw. A recent lazy variant is to sort of vibrate the back of the tongue against the back of the roof of the mouth. And that's born from speech impediment. Very ugly. And got popular through some Dutch TV crowd.
rust, regelmaat en reinheid. (rest, regularity and cleanliness) I think that is the most important for a kid. But also for grownups. :) My grandparrents grew up with it and their grandparrents, but not tipically dutch. It's a worldwide rule. And Yes we are to busy with work. It's not the end the world if you want to work less. If your wallet can dealwith it. We all should buy less stuff. Also better for the planet and ourself. Also dutch parrents are struggeling. Having the hapiest kids does not say there isn't room for improvement.
7 місяців тому
After the war Americans were the tallest population; logic, no foodshortage during the war. After the war, everything had to be restarted in NL, and was also improved. Like porc: when you give a pig waste as food, meat beacomes teary of taste and low on proteine. In the sixties many foreigners came, in early eighties there were 184 nationalities in NL; they brought their own culture and types of food. After bringing the quantity on level, the quality was highered. In 1948 the first "taste"lab was opened in europe. Very strict laws about food hygienic, about chemicals Many things allowed in USA--gen food, chicken washed with chlor, use of chemicals- which are allowed in USA are strictly forbidden in EU and in NL The reason that the Dutch are the tallest, is the result of high quality food and good lifestyle; has nothing to do with sleeping hours. Of course, when a child does not sleep enough it will be in bad mood. Note: that Unicef "research"is not considered to be scientific.
I feel like women in general are conditioned to not talk about the struggle. It doesn't matter if it's cleaning or cooking or parenting, everything needs to be 'easy' and 'natural' to us, while this things take time and skill.
12:42 Throwing a big birthday party for a baby...that party is not for the baby at all because babies at that age don't care about parties at all. Even todlers don't really care about that kind of stuff, that becomes more of a thing for preteens and of course teenagers. These baby birthday parties are for the parents, not for the children.
True. This why I invited close friends to join me going out to eat and cake snuggles at home if they wanted. I was celebrating me. It's an accomplishment to survive C's, prematurity, finding child care, working with breastfeeding
@@cherylcarlson3315 Nothing wrong with any of that. What bothers me is the people that pretend (or even maybe really believe) that this is actually for the baby and get angry when told otherwise. It's like they somehow fear that people would think they're bad parents just because they do something for themselves and not for the kid - and that's such an unhealthy attitude.
Hi Ellen, just found your vlogs on youtube this week and love them. Have you heard of soul to soul travels, they are American, also from Southern California and live in Rotterdam since August or somewhere around that time. ua-cam.com/video/w6r7qilm9Wo/v-deo.html I also watch Jovie's home and love her vlogs.
LOVED meeting you! I think you’re the real UA-cam star now 😉😘 so excited for your journey! You will definitely adjust to life here quickly with your incredible positivity and desire to learn and grow here! 🌱🌿
ua-cam.com/video/D6m9Gh3TUlI/v-deo.html#jawaherhejji
The secret is not to see your kid as an object mirroring your desires, but as a human being relying on you as a coach at a distance to find his/her OWN way through life.
And they :) no hate
@@annaelisabeth3028 Stop promoting that nonsense.
@@kladblok2729 it's not nonsense. I know plenty of people who genuinely don't feel comfortable with their assigned pronouns and just using their preferred pronouns takes so little effort. it's rude not to
@@S_t_even She is talking about kids. If adults want to do it, i dont really care if people crave the attention.
But dont try to impose it on children, it damages them beyond repair.
@@annaelisabeth3028 That is incorrect grammar. "They" is plural, "his / her" is singular.
On our recent trip to the Netherlands preparing for our upcoming move, it struck me how present kids are in the public realm: out and about and at the store, riding their bikes, etc. This is in stark contrast to Oakland where I've lived for the last few years; even living across from a school, I have never once seen kids walking to/from it or around the neighborhood, even though there's shops and restaurants. The school is surrounded by a huge fence/wall and all the parents appear to drive their kids. I grew up in a midwest exurb and always wished I had somewhere to ride my bike instead of in circles around the cul-de-sac.
The channel Not Just Bikes, by a Canadian expat, has videos that talk about how the Dutch built environment, among other factors, gives kids a lot of freedom and autonomy.
Here’s a link to the video you’re referring to in case anyone is interested: ua-cam.com/video/ul_xzyCDT98/v-deo.html
I only just now realized this comment is a month old, so probably won’t get a lot of attention.
I'am 66 years old and still a happy Dutch kid. Lot's of sleep, no homework, playing outside, and chocolat for breakfast.
Oh.... and offcourse a beer ocassionally :-)
Real and good chocolate, no sugar bombs!
Utrecht is one of the best cities I’ve lived in. I’m currently in SF. If you were ever deciding between California and the Netherlands, please don’t be an idiot. Go to the Netherlands. My wife and I will probably be back soon. All the best.
Please dont, we dont want our nation to be wrecked like cali. Export your braindead liberalism somewhere else please. Thank you.
Well, this weekend was Dutch Comic Con in the Jaarbeurs halls (just next to Utrecht Centraal), so that explains all the cosplayers you noticed ;)
Yes! I was there!
Great to see you evolve as a person and a mother in The Netherlands. No country is perfect and there's always things to improve but keep an open mind and you'll do fine.
I"m not saying Dutch kids don't cry or can't be annoying some days but in general they're far more relaxed. The first thing I said when you spoke about American kids cry a lot was 'they're tired'. I have American friends and I was SHOCKED to see what is expected from even very young kids. They have to get up very early (too early imo) and then it's run run run to catch a bus that's been driving around to pick up kids, then after school they have run again for all kinds of afterschool stuff, sport, whatever and then in the mean time they have 'dinner'. It's a constant fight against the clock and they hardly get the time to relax. Then when they finally go to bed they're all wired so it takes a while before they fall asleep just to be woken up far too early again, etc. No wonder they cry. They're exhausted!!
What helped my wife when learning Dutch were the TV programs 'Het Klokhuis' (informative magazine-like programme about culture, technology, science, environment et cetera) and 'Het Jeugdjournaal' (basically the news, but aimed at children). Both are informative, intelligent and not 'talking down to the kids'. They are almost daily on NPO 3 ('Het Klokhuis' only on weekdays), somewhere between 18.00 and 19.00. And when it comes to vloggers, have you tried 'Not Just Bikes' or 'Dutch Americano'?
As someone who thinks dutch should be spoken with a rolling r, don't fret about it, there are 20 different ways the r is pronounced in different dutch dialects. :)
Exactly, the R and the letter G says alot on where people are from within Nederland.
Yes the rolling R is very Dutch! I have a throat R, I think you also did that one.. I just recently learned that some Dutch do the R with their tongue... crazy 😀
As a 16yo, i will confirm that child corners are the bomb. There is this “wok” where you can find like all kinds of foods, where they have a child corner for toys AND food. So if ur kid doesnt like unlimited sushi, he can grab some fries and soft serve! You can also go see a movie in the movie theatre where there are all kinds of pillows to sit on, or play fruit cutter, get face paint and so much more! My entire childhood is basically child corners and making friends there
Those circular tables with "Duplo" or "Lego" were the majority of my childhood! Even hospitals had those (unfortunately I was born handicapped & have seen the inside of hospitals a lot more than the average person. Fortunately I'm in good health though!).
Forget about hte book. Look up 'rust, reinheid, regelmaat' as being Dutch pillars of bringing up children.
It goes back about 100 years. Still mindblowing, IMHO.
So, back in elementary school I had huge issues with long tail divisions. My teacher basically left me alone while the rest of the class was doing the exercise in front of the class. I took me 15 minutes to just suddenly "get it" looking at others solving the same problem. The teacher didn't put me down or anything, but he did encourage me once I got it. I think that's a major benefit of the Dutch education system, at least as it was back in the 90s.
Another story is where a teacher turned multiplication into a game, with a duck trying to cross a pond up on the blackboard. There were leafs with different sums, answer them correctly within a set amount of time and you get to go on.
At the very least it turns education into a game, and you're allowed to just figure things out watching others. Ofcourse, I wasn't known to pay the most attention in class back then, my report card in elementary school once said "he could do a lot better if the ducks outside weren't more interesting to him".
Very interesting. My kids grew up in the Netherlands and we actually had a lot of help using the book 'De Tevreden Baby' which was actually written by the American author Gina Ford. It doesn't really go against the Dutch grain either, so not mentioning this to disprove your info in this video. Just thought it was interesting. The main thing we got from that book is how to blind the room properly, which is very useful in summertime in the Netherlands as it is just way too light too early and late so your child otherwise can't sleep long enough. The book also talks about creating a healthy rhythm in order to free up more time for the parents. Another thing I noticed in the Netherlands is when your child does start to cry in a public space, most people don't give you the death stare, and sometimes even speak very relaxed about it like 'yeah they're kids you know'... Whereas I noticed in the US people are way more stressed and look at you like you should get a hold of your child.
The first my mother said, when my son was born, 'whatever you do, buy any toy, I guarantee you the packaging is more interesting to them than the toy', DO NOT THROW THE PACKAGING AWAY. That was a gold plated tip!
This is very true lol.
they should sell empty packaging lolz
Recently was suggested one of your videos and absolutely love seeing you slowly getting to grips with living in the Netherlands.
As to some off the differences you noticed between the USA and NL/EU work and life balance I can highly recommend watching the video "America compared" by Second Thought.
Also the "not just bikes" channel (Canadian living ib Amsterdam) discusses some of the matter you mentioned (including getting arrested for letting children take a bus by themselves).
Anyways really enjoy your content and seeing the outside in view of our little country.
You see a lot of little children running around the Albert Heijn. You also often hear calls from the speaker about little what's his name who lost his mama and is waiting at the service counter. Mama comes to pick up the kid and they continue with the groceries. No sweat.
Hey Ellen, now that was an excellent idea to follow and meet up with other Americans here in The Netherlands. One person I really would advise you to go and follow and go see her experience here in The Netherlands is Dutch Americano. Her name is Ava and she has a Dutch partner as well and she is here now for like 2 years I guess. A lot of things she's been through, you probably will go through as well and her development in becoming a Dutchy really is so funny to see ;-)
The other person I would like to introduce to you here on UA-cam is: Casey Kilmore. She is Australian and she also has a Dutch partner. So funny to see her establishments as well when you start at video 1 as well.
And Casey is also cute as hell.
9:34 This is actually a very common opinion in the Netherlands as well so you're not alone in that. Many people are advocating for delaying this decision until a later age and many secundary schools have all pupils mixed in the first year or first two years.
Don't be influenced by the hectic pace of others and social media. You are on the right track.
My boys are grown now but when they were still in kindergarten we had a neighbours/friends with children the same age and we took turns taking the children to and from school. That was a five minute walk but with children it always takes longer. That way we or my friends didn't have to quickly dress the babies every morning to take the brother/sister to kindergarten and in the afternoon, after nap time, we could let the babies wake up quietly and not have to dress them again immediately to go outside to walk to kindergarten again to pick up their brother/sister. As parents you help each other out. If you have someone like that around I would definitely try that if I were you.
If you haven't discovered it yet, "Dutch Americano" is also a great channel. She is also a "former" American and she lives in Utrecht now.
Another good thing about the different levels at a young age is that it's just that level. It sets the bar and when the kid gets clears that bar it's all right. The kids don't have to compete for highest grades, just high enough will do, some will but they don't have to. That's the so called 'zesjescultuur', which can be very liberating for kids, no unnecessary stress and it makes school more about learning than showing how smart you are.
Lots of good students also have a couple of bad years in high school when it comes to academic performance, because they hit puberty and get into all kinds of trouble or just other things. So they have a year with more 6's than 8's or even might to have to redo that year, but it's not hurting their future.
Essential for all kids in the Netherlands: swimming lessons. As soon as you can (also there are often waiting lists :/). Often dutch children first learn how to swim and then go off doing other sports. Though we do not tend to cram a 100 different things in a week for kids, to make sure they have time to play (outside) and relax.
Also: I would recommend looking at toddler swim sessions at your local pool. They help to get children to get familiar with water and then when they go on and learn to swim they are not afraid of water. It can also be a great bonding moment with you kid. My grandma used to take me to those sessions when I was a toddler :)
Don't forget the Dutch workhorse, the bycicle. teach them cycling asap.
About your ‘Spanish’ R in Dutch, don’t worry. It’s perfectly acceptable. If you can do the ‘French’/‘German’ R that’d be more in line with how most Dutchies pronounce it. Even the ‘English’/‘American’ R can be heard being used by native Dutchies.
What type of R someone uses depends greatly on the person’s background. It’s a regional thing, an educational thing (more in the sense where one was educated and what R was common there than the level of education). And then there’s the thing that one person rarely uses one type of R. It’s usually a combination of the Spanish or French R with the English R, but in a pretty much fixed pattern. In my personal case I mix all three Rs. And sometimes I drop the R all together. If you’re aiming for that “pro” pronunciation of using a combination of Rs, then I wish you luck. If you want to sound perfectly acceptable then I’d suggest to stick to the French/German or Spanish R. Both really are fine. Using the English R all the time is acceptable, but a bit weird to most Dutch ears. Also sometimes using the English R all the time might make it just a little bit harder for people to understand, which is not an issue with the Spanish and French Rs. So whatever R you are using, don’t fret too much. Getting a perfect (or close enough) G (either the soft or hard version), OO, UI, EU is much more important for understandability reasons.
Spend time with your kids.
Start now and always do that.
Breakfast together and evening meals together.
The less stress parents have...the less stressend kids are.
Give them structure.
Your not the best friend of your kid....your the parent.maybe later when They are adults the friendship thing comes....but best friends are not the best teachers for kids
I agree. My mom was my best friend, but she always made it clear that she was my mother first of all. Every year I got more freedom and she told me that she had to take it slow, because she did trust me, just not society. Once I became an adult, we became best friends more than anything. She’s still my mother, but we do everything together and I think her honesty in her parenting, admitting to her own faults and letting me invite friends over so we could try our first alcoholic drink in a safe environment. I’m blessed and want to be just like her.
Nice,gives me more understanding of my own country
Expats laugh little about our scedules and mostly it is somewhat exagerated (it's ok were not offended), but now you maybe understand why we like to use them so much. Rust Reinheid Regelmaat. The big 3 R's. Orriginaly invented by another great nurse. Florence Nightingale and used to make famous in the Netherlands by a dutch nurse called Aafke Gesina van Hulst. (You should read in to her accomplishments. It will give you a great insight in the history of our dutch nursing and how it is mostly still appied today.) The 3 R's is for children great, but also for big children they call adults. ;) And don't feel bad there are sometimes pretty unhappy dutch children too. Every child is unique and a parent needs to figure out their manual without receiving it. It is the most difficult task out there, but also the most rewarding task when you come to realize you've done not such a bad job afterall and you will; trust me. I can tell by the calmness you posess and shine through in your videos, you have a great skillset hiding in you to transfer and project on your child. You can do this! How hard it may seem, sometimes. He will be a happy one, now that you can provide him an environment where he can develop his skillset to a nother level. One that maybe never would have been revealed, when he would be brought up in the U.S. and you know what is even better? You can give him the best of both worlds. ;)
I’m an American about 30 years older than you are and this kind of stuff was going on when I had my child in the 1988. Involvement in numerous activities, tons of toys, electronics given to my son’s peers as they got older etc. My husband and I chose not to participate in activities anywhere to the extent of other parents. Our son had plenty of downtime. We helped him choose a few activities. These included outdoor activity with Boy Scouts, YMCA sports and an occasional church activity. We chose not to feel pressed into the super busy lifestyle other parents did. I am one who has never been a follow the crowd person. Our son now works and lives in the NL with his Dutch wife, and hope our future grandchildren have the kind of childhood you describe for Dutch children.
Costumes, Utrecht Centraal is right next to the "Jaarbeurs". a huge event complex where a lot of conventions happen etc. Hence you see that a lot there. Amsterdam has one as well, Amsterdam RAI, etc. But that one is right in the center of the city Utrecht.
That tape or w/e it was at the end, that sounded SO bad from the tape.....
It's not as good now with all the kids having tablets and a tv in their room but I remember when seeing a kid with blue circles under their eyes from a lack of sleep was so rare that you noticed when you saw it. Also I found the concept of being woken up in the morning to get breakfast and go to school strange. I do not remember my mom having to shake us awake out of a deep sleep like these kids in the U.S. We went to bed way earlier. I had an american mother once ask me how you'd put a kid to sleep when it's still light out, I asked her what did she think curtains were for, keeping the window warm?
Put your kids,on sports from the age of 7.
Or scouting.
The triangle sport, school home keeps them busy and less time on internet.
Helps them...and you to interact with a new part of the netherlands
Hi, I was wondering if you know of and been to Efteling in the south of the Netherlands ? Efteling started out as a fairytale forest surrounded by two big lakes showing all the fairytales in real life, plus a talking real size tree, a real size man puppet with the longest neck in the world, dancing shoes that magically dance on their own and a big toy donkey that lifts up it s tail and poops fake golden Efteling coins for people to catch as memory to Efteling. Later on they added all sort of things like one of the biggest fountain shows in a lake in the world, rollercoasters, dark rides, indoor rides with colorfoul moving puppets animotronics (even a real size whale), a madhouse, interactive indoor rides with moving puppets also animotronics, a 20 minute show with real horses and knights, little boats that are pulled forward in the lake automatically you can sit in for a boat ride across the lake, a big platform where a lot of people can stand on that goes slowly up in the air so people can overlook the entire forest, park, hotel and lakes. Efteling was built before Disneyland / world even existed. Mr Disney has been video recorded visiting the Netherlands so he could have taken ideas from Efteling, but nobody really knows if Mr Disney actually visited Efteling. Efteling It is one of the best themed themeparks in the world with emphasis on theming. Of course a lot of parents and grandparents with children go there, but one should been there at least once in their life visiting or living in the Netherlands 😀. It is basically a big forest with two big lakes and there happens to be a big themepark inside of it, so you can enjoy a day in nature as well . It is a two day park to see everything, they also have a themed hotel in which people can stay where staff entertains the children as dressed up characters telling stories and such. They are now building a second 50 million euro hotel with no doubt excellent theming as well. The entrance of Efteling looks straight out of an adventure movie and is called House of The Five Senses. Thought maybe you would like knowing about it !
Hey that's just north of Tilburg, I think I might visit that place when I get some free time. Thanks for the recommendation.
You're doing amazing trust me. And the reason I know that is because you really go and look to find what is best for your son. You really go out of your way for him. And that is the most important thing. All the rest will follow (;
Aww thank you
It is very interesting to hear your experience of the differences! But... please don't blame your parenting strategies for your kid being a little less chill than some other kids you have witnessed. Children vary wildly in their temperament and there's also probably some bias in when you observe your own child (always) and when you witness other people's children (only when they seem well enough to go out and stay out).
You touch on a subject that is still also a struggle for young moms in Western Europe: Being a mom is glorified and put on a pedestal. And yes there are happy moments but there are also a number of moments that you feel you're the worst mom in the world. And there are definately aspects on being a parent that are not rose colored and easy going. Parenting can really influence your relationship with your partner in a disasterous way. Not for every one but it happens more than people dare to admit. Sometimes you just want to fast forward or sometimes you really would like help. And on the subject of help : At times people bombard you with opinions and you get frustrated. Please you do you. At the end the most important is love your child or children ! And sometimes that means being strict and have rules and consequences. And also: LLove yourself! Take some time to do SOMETHING for YOU! A happy mom is the best mom.
In the USA life is very competitive. And much more show off your money and status.. Don't fall for this trap.
Your Dutch is progressing well Ellen! I love that you take the effort.
The event in Utrecht was dutch comic con! I was there haha, I'm studying in Utrecht next year so I'm excited to go there a lot more on the future
Kids corner in restaurants: I always had the feeling Eastern Europe (and my experiences then are primarily from multiple holidays in the north-east of Poland and in Lithuania) actually restaurants were a lot more child friendly in that regard.
Hey Ellen, I forgot to mention that a fellow American lady UA-camr called: A Wanderlust For Life (in Amsterdam) is probably going to be a huge source of information for you, since she's been here for several years (7 years ?)now. You may want to check her video channel...
Great thank you so much, I just subscribed 😊
As a 60's kid i was always out and about with friends on weekends or after school time, we were always outside and game back into the home when the streetlights went on, we had seasons for all kinds of games like jumping rope or play with marbles. I did the same with my kids later and never had any problems with them sleeping or misbehaving anywhere. We went to restaurants and they fell asleep near the loudspeakers that played. They were both born at home and i never minded any noise from the start so they could get used to that from day 1. The same now with my granddaughter, such a lovely mellow girl. Hope your boy grows into that as well
The event is called :"carnaval"
It's celebrated in the south
In the provinces of : "noord-brabant" and "limburg"
Hey dear Ellen, i love watching your v's and dont Worry with wath people day Just be your self
I've been waiting for a new upload! Yay!
Comic Con Utrecht was that weekend...
Good video👍. Maybe try to find a play friend for your son, if he already has not one. It will bring hem and you a lot of fun/dutch experience.
Good vlog! Love it! Indeed find friends! And not all the kids are the happiest in the world! Moatly they are but not all of them! 😄👍
Thanks Jack. Jack is my son’s name 😊 I have not met many Jack’s yet here in Nederland.
Hi. Your biggest fan here. ;) It seems to me you are finally settling in to the Dutch way of life. You started talking to other expats and even reading some books. The preparation I talked about. Btw I love Jovie's home. Don't worry to much about the language. We do like and appreciate it when you make an afford but switch to English if we hear an accent. So focus on the lifestyle. As a Bushcraft, Outdoor & Survival instructor I can only say stay away from the X Box or whatever they come up next but go for walks in nature. Your kid will get much more and more beautiful stimulation there.
Being the founder and president of the Dutch Bushcraft Association we did have parent/child weekends. For a bit older children of course. We never had the rule of put the cell phone away. But after a few hours both parents and children did. You made the right choice to come to Holland. Keep adapting and your kid will also be the happiest on earth. And so will you.
One thing why we let kids play on their own outside is usually we are a pretty tight community, at least in the small cities and "Dorpen"
Like i don't have any kids myself, but I know every kid and parent in my street(and even outside my street) by name and where he/she belongs so if Anything happens I know where to take him/her (to the parents of course)
See the video of "Not just bikes " Title is "Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia (and moved to the Netherlands instead)" its a great video and gives you some differences between The Netherlands and Canada ( okay Canada is not the US but its very similar
Loving the videos keep it up!
What a delightful girl. Count me a new subscriber.
Hi Ellen, very interesting to hear you talk about the differnces in parenting between The Netherlands and the USA. What struck me most was that parents can get arrested in the USA for letting their kids run free... That doesn't fit in the "Freedom religion" of the USA at all !
Yes, being independant where it concerns friendships is important in our country. People like Staci could help you on that too. Learning to speak Dutch ofcourse is a big help too. Don't hesitate to practice on random people..
Yes, we are happy to correct you.
Hi, if you want to learn Dutch you van go to the nuns in Vught.. They have a language school. You go for 1 week intern and you speak our language. I used to work for an American company and we had new colleagues coming in from all over Europe and a couple went there. They spoke impressively good Dutch in one week and the rest never learned Dutch at all.
I like you!! please come with more videos!!
Your Dutch is good 😍nice video keep it going
Your Dutch is going to be lovely 😊
I am currently dealing with neighbors kids who have temper tantrum’s from 7am - 8pm 😡
My heart breaks for both American mothers and children.
I didn't cry as a baby to the point that they thought I could not feel pain. My mother twisted my skin on purpose to check. I onley looked at her with look as "what are you thing you are doing" Well my mother told me this.
Good job on your Dutch.
Hahaha, rust regelmaat en reinheid. They may sound a bit outdated as a mantra (and knowing that this mantra was developed in 1915 doesn't help to see it as the three magical words that are still current and up-to-date) but they actually still are of great current value. Thanks to Dr Spock the three R's can be applied not only to very strict upbringings but in a more modern upbringing too.
Dutch Americano is quite interesting as well…
There are like 3 types of R's in Dutch (also depending on the region). The American R is there mostly in the end of words (not in the South). The rolling R often at the start of words. And lastly: in the South we have a throat R. Kinda the same place where you put the hard G (which we don't have, we have the soft G) LOL.
Your son will be so happy to have you as his mother.
Another awesome American youtuber is Ali of "my big german adventure ".
15:11 half of the Dutch population speaks with a rolling R nothing to worry about :D
Nice video!
Dutch parents are sometimes seen as reluctant to respond to crying babies .. we are not! We just don’t praise a child for negative attention, the baby must adapt its strategy… and they will! So just wait a bit when a baby cries in its bed.
In Netherlands you have "De mammoetwet". You can always jump to a higher education level.
Our baby did cry now and than ...:) But she grew up just fine..
I'm 54 and also happy, so you don't have to be a child to be happy in the Netherlands
No one throws a first birthday party for their kid. You give it to show off to the world. Your kid isn’t even aware of what is happening.
About your dutch you will get there. Practise makes the master 👍👍👍
"All this Pinteresty stuff" pinpoints the problem (pun intended). So many people are worried about their appearance towards others. All the beautiful (but unrealistic) stuff you see on Pinterest, Instagram, and what have you. One has to be the best, do well, and be successful. Even when this brings more stress and anxiety.than happiness. No! Focussing on healthy inner happiness is the way to go!
In the Netherlands people don't practice child worshipping like you see A LOT in the US, but actually educate their children as of day one, starting with morals and social skills, so they'll be ready for life the moment they reach the age of 18 or sooner!
They reflect the stress level of the parents
Exactly. Long maternity leave helps. A good work-life balance helps. Being really free from work on the weekends, holidays and evening helps. Living in a culture that is not extremely competitive (compared to the US) helps. Being happy about the little things in life instead of wanting to consume more and more helps. Having the mindset that failure is okay (because we're humans. And because we learn from making mistakes) and not the end of the world helps. And what helps a lot, is living in a safe country. A safe environment in which children can play, walk, cycle, etc. without being chaperoned by their parents all the time.
And indeed, all these things lead to a relatively low stress level of the parents, which reflects on their children. Looking to your own country through foreign eyes is very helpful to appreciate what you have.
Dankjewel voor het kompleet. Maar het is echt Normaal hier. Als je een kind, de zorg kan geven. Huilt een kind ook niet. En dat is echt Netherlands. Agenda!! Wij maken, afspraken. Buiten de tijd dat de kleine slaapt. Ja,nog meer durk. Op je Agenda?
Groetjes uit Spakenburg Gerben T and Gabriëlle van uit Spakenburg.
5:18 I am 54 and I don't think Iever saw a kid with a temper tantrum in a store here in the Netherlands.
The sounds of the 'ei', 'eu', 'oe', 'ou' and 'au', or the differences between 'h' and 'g' at the start of a word, or the difference between a/aa, e/ee, o/oo and u/uu are difficult for non-natives, But you'll get there with enough practicing it in the old way of raising young kids: with plenty of Rust, Regelmaat & Reinheid ;-)
Yeah, it comes as it comes, within healthy discipline. We let children figuring a lot out by themselves. They have toys and sports, but let them figuring out a lot naturally.
Love the content, but sometimes speech is hard to hear due to the volume of the music.
Ik was eerst begonnen in het Engels, want ik wil dat mijn boodschap zo goed en helder mogelijk overkomt, maar zo leer je niet echt goed Nederlands uiteindelijk! 🤔... Ik denk dat er andere belangrijke factoren nog ontbreken🤨Ook ben ik het niet helemaal eens met je beeld van ons Nederlands educatief systeem, mijn mening en beeld is anders en ik heb het persoonlijk doorlopen in NL.
Ik vind het goed van je dat jij je intellectueel ingraaft in bepaalde thema's en hoeken, bijt je er alleen niet te veel vast op. Waarom Nederlanders lang zijn, en dit is ook een gemiddelde en vertekend beeld, is al meer maals onderzocht, ook andere landen zijn mensen langer aan het worden. Hoe meer je naar het zuiden gaat, het Romeinse Rijk deel in de geschiedenis van Nederland, hoe minder "Nederlands" de Nederlanders zijn. Ook groeit vrijwel alles naar de zon, en met de dijken, hoofd boven water. Evolutie in zijn werk. Hoewel ik niet kan ontkennen dat het slapen er eventueel wel ook mee verband heeft, zal slapen alleen niet 'het' antwoord zijn. Mijn extreme groeispurt was vermoeiend, maar zonder goede brand/bouwstoffen kom je niet ver.
🧐 Het temperament van de ouders is ook veel bepalend in het temperament van de kinderen, als ook het opvoeden - en dan nu "It takes a village to raise children", een samenleving, met cohesie, met rust, regelmaat en reinheid; Nederland.
Je kaart aan dat hier moeders meer en langer verlof krijgen voor kinderen en kinderen krijgen,
daarnaast kunnen mannen ook inspringen,
dan zijn er nog in America de stress factoren van rekeningen en dokters kosten, die zijn hier niet.
De manier waarop er met zwangerschap en baren wordt omgegaan in Nederland versus Amerika.
Al dit, deze stress van ouders hebben heel duidelijk en natuurlijk een impact op het kind, de baby = huil baby. Mijn zus was een huil baby - ik niet, de zwangerschap was anders tussen mijn zus en mij, hoe mijn moeder er mentaal instond was anders, etc. Dan nog de persoonlijkheden van mijn zus en mij, en ik was een toevoeging in een gezin, er was al een kind, bij mijn zus was dit anders toen zij het eerste kind van mijn ouders was. Nurture & Nature - in psychology en evolutie. 🤓
In mijn beleving deed je niet falen, en in Nederland is er bijna niemand die perfect ABN Nederlands spreekt.
Perfectionisme is niet altijd het beste. Van falen leer je, dus je hebt een persoonlijkheid en een accent. Cabaretiers welke personages creeeren spelen met accenten, en dialecten?
🤫
You should speak Dutch more with your Spanish tongue!! Dont get me wrong you are doing it great but i think than it sounds better and easier to pronounce. If you speak Dutch with an American tongue, you sound like somebody from the 035 Area!! Anyway i love your attitude and video’s and wishing you and your family the best!!🧡
From what i've learnt about USA until now it seems life there is everything but organic and natural....it's no wonder there is so much artificial conflict and overall lack of community besides the rural part which is tiny compared to US urban centers. From the planning of the living areas that cater towards cars so much that they sacrifice the community for autistic feeling of having special zones for different stuff not taking into account the human that should be using that same area for living. Wherever you go in Europe due to organic development of living area stuff will be similar in one way or the other plus contextual differences. I have a feeling city planners were doing some major experimentation in the US and simply failed to learn anything from it pretending it was success all along.
You say American mothers have to go back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, but Dutch moms have to go back to work 12 weeks after giving birth so that's not much different. Also, 40 hours work week is kinda "normal" for The Netherlands too. Yes, you can get 32 hours work week, for a lower salary but that's not such a big right. The Netherlands has actually one of the systems that is closest to the American when it comes to these things. Other countries in Europe, Germany being and example, but also Scandinavian countries, have way more to offer.
In the Netherlands, maternity leave is 4 months by law. The mother chooses when it starts. So if she wants, she can work until birth. Or she can take the last weeks of her pregnancy off. If she needs longer than the 4 months: everybody has 20 vacation days by law (based on a 40 hour work week). She can add that, and many employers will allow extra leave if needed.
About the 40 hours work week, the Netherlands is actually nr 1 in Europe when it comes to part time work. Many couples switch to part time after they have kids, even the men.
The reason for the people walking around in costumes is because of comicon
Let me point u towards Ava, and her channel Dutch Americano !
Ah yes she is wonderful too I should have given her a shoutout. Thanks for reminding me.
Such interesting analyses coming from another culture. Dutch people do not realize the privilege we have here. Hope you can learn Dutch but love your accent.
but you do and youre dutch?!
Roest, Regelmaat en reinheid... :p
The comment on dividing in to different streams. Yes that regrettably happens. I say regrettably because it really does not work. Simply because the age is to young. Me, I was send to the lower technical school, oké fine. But my brain took some leaps from then.
So although not trough education,(self education helpt more) now I am ship Desiner engineer. All despite the education I had to be a baker, cook or waiter(of course nothing wrong with those jobs, but not challenging for me) . So this is to illustrate that this system, in my opinion is totally wrong.
The USA is about money and all associated.
The Netherlands is about feelings and all associated.
The proper Dutch pronunciation of the r has the tip of the tongue rolling against the inside of the upper jaw. A recent lazy variant is to sort of vibrate the back of the tongue against the back of the roof of the mouth. And that's born from speech impediment. Very ugly. And got popular through some Dutch TV crowd.
IN AMERICA THE KIDS ARE TO HYPER. LIKE THE PARENTS.
While in Utrecht, you also could have met up with #dutchamericano :)
rust, regelmaat en reinheid. (rest, regularity and cleanliness) I think that is the most important for a kid. But also for grownups. :) My grandparrents grew up with it and their grandparrents, but not tipically dutch. It's a worldwide rule. And Yes we are to busy with work. It's not the end the world if you want to work less. If your wallet can dealwith it. We all should buy less stuff. Also better for the planet and ourself. Also dutch parrents are struggeling. Having the hapiest kids does not say there isn't room for improvement.
After the war Americans were the tallest population; logic, no foodshortage during the war.
After the war, everything had to be restarted in NL, and was also improved. Like porc: when you give a pig waste as food, meat beacomes teary of taste and low on proteine.
In the sixties many foreigners came, in early eighties there were 184 nationalities in NL; they brought their own culture and types of food.
After bringing the quantity on level, the quality was highered.
In 1948 the first "taste"lab was opened in europe.
Very strict laws about food hygienic, about chemicals
Many things allowed in USA--gen food, chicken washed with chlor, use of chemicals- which are allowed in USA are strictly forbidden in EU and in NL
The reason that the Dutch are the tallest, is the result of high quality food and good lifestyle; has nothing to do with sleeping hours.
Of course, when a child does not sleep enough it will be in bad mood.
Note: that Unicef "research"is not considered to be scientific.
I feel like women in general are conditioned to not talk about the struggle. It doesn't matter if it's cleaning or cooking or parenting, everything needs to be 'easy' and 'natural' to us, while this things take time and skill.
you looked really stressed and spooked in the behinning..
12:42 Throwing a big birthday party for a baby...that party is not for the baby at all because babies at that age don't care about parties at all. Even todlers don't really care about that kind of stuff, that becomes more of a thing for preteens and of course teenagers.
These baby birthday parties are for the parents, not for the children.
True. This why I invited close friends to join me going out to eat and cake snuggles at home if they wanted. I was celebrating me. It's an accomplishment to survive C's, prematurity, finding child care, working with breastfeeding
@@cherylcarlson3315 Nothing wrong with any of that.
What bothers me is the people that pretend (or even maybe really believe) that this is actually for the baby and get angry when told otherwise.
It's like they somehow fear that people would think they're bad parents just because they do something for themselves and not for the kid - and that's such an unhealthy attitude.
YOU WHILE LEARN IT ,NO PROBLEEM.
I always thought American kids were noisy/hyper because of all the chemicals in the food/formula.
Hi Ellen, just found your vlogs on youtube this week and love them.
Have you heard of soul to soul travels, they are American, also from Southern California and live in Rotterdam since August or somewhere around that time.
ua-cam.com/video/w6r7qilm9Wo/v-deo.html
I also watch Jovie's home and love her vlogs.
Id I need a lift, I watch your videos.
Children are born with insulin resistance in the US because of parental poor diet. Look into that and compare with nl...