Being Irish: The Good & Bad | LITTLE BY LITTLE | Fr Columba Jordan CFR
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- Опубліковано 11 чер 2024
- Being Irish is mostly great, but we also have a few funny things about us. We can be insular, guarded, and deeply jealous. It's important to be aware of the good AND the bad things about your own culture - and from a place of awareness begin to tackle and root out the ugly.
Episode Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
0:15 POV: American Vs Irish
1:07 I Don't Want to Be Needy
3:21 This Is the Cost
6:38 Freudenschade
7:40 The Solution
8:38 Like & Subscribe!
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Little by Little | Episode #147
Little by Little is a weekly video series by Called to More in collaboration with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. Our host, Fr Columba Jordan CFR, brings you quality Catholic content with new episodes every Thursday at 6pm GMT. Be sure to subscribe!
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I love being Irish as well but I also need a great amount of improvement! With God’s help I will do better everyday ❤
So true sadly heard that during my summer holidays in the 80’s and it hasn’t changed😢
Praying for Ireland daily. She needs to come back to Mother Church🙏
My mother in 3/4 Irish and this is exactly how we were raised! Never except a gift or a compliment. It wasn’t until my 40’s that I realized that it’s ok to be complimented, or if someone wants to give you a nice gift.
A very hard lesson to learn. We were raised to give but not receive. So you end up feeling uncomfortable even receiving Gods love and graces!
It took me being ill for 3 yrs where I had to let people help me. But God finally got through my thick Irish skull as my mother would call it.
My Mom learned it at the same time. We bonded and talked and laughed at what it took for us to finally have that balance.
Thank goodness we found a balance of give and receive!
I'm Hungarian and it's the same here. We aren't raised like this, it's in our blood.:)
I heard this about Iranians too, from Iranians.
Something I've noticed that I had picked up as a bad habit having lived most of my life here in the U.S.A. is taking for granted of material things and not getting rid/sharing things that I am not using regularly with others, so I am working to share and simplify and to feel grateful for all the blessings in my life.
Perfect description of day to day thinking. It’s the hidden jealousy that becomes the “stuff” that’s hauled around, keeping us from the joyful blessings we are given.
Wow relate to this so much.. Some wonderful wisdom to share thanks Fr Columba
Fr. Columba, Saint Jerome's words come to my mind when he said “Forgive me, God, for I am a Dalmatian.” He probably referenced it about his temper.
Hahahahahaha! That explains everything! Here in the USA, married to an Irish woman 42 years, and I can relate to everything you said. Spot on. I've experienced all of that in her family and in visits to Ireland. Played fiddle in some trad sessions and most musicians have deadpan expressions and look embarrassed at the end of sets. "well there, that's done". Loved this video. Thanks Father!
Good observations and you are a wonderful priest! 😊
Hmmm. Yes. Unhealthy yet also familiar. Gotta admit. Love that you see it, name it, expose it. With Compassion, wisdom, correction. Beautiful ☘️❤️☘️
Very astute observations of human (not only Irish) behavior, Father. I recognize myself in much of this, and you've encouraged me to overcome it. 🙏🌹
🙏🏼
42 year old Irish-American and I just received in 10 minutes from Fr. Columba what I could never have gotten from any idiot psychologist or therapist. Thank you.
God has more than enough for all of us to be satisfied. Amen. Fiat.
people who share their food with you. share their hearts with you.
So true. And love the Irish, lived there for half a year. Generous and loving people. I can relate to this though as a Maltese Australian, 100%. To accept an offer feels like you are putting someone out. Often criticised growing up, judged to the point I now refrain from sharing my life with my family (I went to university for the first time as an almost 50 year old female and only told one sister in a very large extended family. And I felt jealousy from another person when they eventually found out). The "tall poppy syndrome" is prevalent in the Australian culture - we admire subtlety. We must have inherited that from the Irish! Great talk Father, as usual! An inspiration. God bless your work!
Thanks!
Thank you for your support!
It could also be a fear of failure and disappointing someone else's expectations. If you keep their expectations low, you don't have to fear letting them down.
You were right on the money with the fear of success resulting in jealousy and resentment, though.
Oh Father! What a blessed message for us all, especially my deeply Irish makeup. Thankyou! God bless you Father Columba! T.
Thanks Fr. Columba and so true 😊
I know this all too well! And I’m not Irish, but Swiss, with parents coming from two different countries. I thought they’d developed this attitude because they both experienced World War II as children and had to do without many things that we take for granted. I’m working on overcoming this “inheritance” too…
I'm Canadian but with a lot of Irish DNA and this is a huge thing for me. I'm in a new community away from my family and I'm surrounded by Italians, they look at me like I'm crazy and prideful for refusing help or gifts.
WOAH Father, that was so deep! Very insightful. Lots of things to ponder.
Apparently I’m more Irish than just my name, because you just summed me up 🤦🏼♂️ and I’m American.
Most Americans have Irish blood in them, and we act like it! 😅
💙
Father, as an Irish priest, I'd love to hear your opinion on the series, "Father Ted". Love it, hate it, think it's insulting?
I truly believe now that the Polish and the Irish are the same people, the resamblence when you talk about those patterns in thinking is insane!!!!
Im exactly like this. If im paid a compliment I think it's because the person must feel sorry for me, or is "just saying it " because theyre a friend. I also have a problem with people who are especially confident, I actually find it unattractive. When I was a manager of a shop, i never employed the people who came across as confident in interviews, only the shy, nervous wrecks. They actually all turned out to be very good employees. I think this thing of not having tickets on yourself is universal, except maybe in America. In some southern med and arabic countries, a compliment is often considered as giving someone the evil eye! The compliment is paid out of envy in the first place. What a weird bunch we are 😂
That's me, I'm a reader in church, and when a reading comes up I love, I won't say I'll do it cos I think I can't have what I want, or if I do it I think I'll mess it up cos I shouldn't have what I want, when I made my first communion at 7 years old, I was going to look in the mirror as I had a pretty dress and veil on and my mother said, vanity is a sin, yes I'm Irish too
Hahaha, in Sweden we even have a famous law for this behaviour (well, it's not in the law-book), called Jante-lagen (the law of Jante) that starts with: "You shall not believe that you are something special". On the other hand, the opposite: a blown-up person who believes everything he or she does is AWESOME without any self-reflection, is not very pretty either. Thank you for your videos Fr Columba. God bless you!
I agree, there is fine line between confidence and big headedness. Then you also hear people can be show offs to mask insecurities, or feel they have to prove something. People are so complex.
Interesting, I always thought it was a warning to protect you from disappointment?
So right on. Thanx.
I've got a bit of Irish in me on my Mother's side. When I would cut myself down, She used to say, "Why do you think that way? Did I do that to you?" No Mommy.
I think I just got it from the Irish DNA; just kidding.
I have been starving myself for half my life, if not longer.
It's funny (not haha) how as soon as I started accepting compliments or just saying thank you, to someone saying, "job well done", then people started treating me with contempt or "envy"; the very thing I was always fearful of.
Your observation, however, that my denying a truth which someone may have noticed, and gave me a pat on the back for, is an insult, and to say, "oh nah, nah, I'm rubbish" is in fact calling them a liar etc..
This really helps alot!
I just need to work on not gettin' so hurt when people criticize or accuse me falsely.
Maybe your next talk can help me there too!❤👍🙏🔥✝️🕊❤⛪
One thing I've heard about the Irish is that they talk while inhaling. At least saying "yeah" and "nah" on the inhale. We do the same in Iceland, and the people here in Norway sometimes make fun of me for saying "Ja" while inhaling. Although we're not quite as bad when it comes to receiving compliments - we're just bad at giving them directly to people. To your face, we'll say "Hey, that wasn't bad" while to anyone else we'd say (when you're not around) "Wow, you should have seen what he did! Absolutely amazing!"
7:40 exactly all of us can have enough and not be cunning towards each other's down fall ... specially for a Christian to do thay to another...woah
It seems to me that it’s hard to navigate this behavior in this day and age because there is so much “showing off” of all kinds. So there’s tons of façade and ostentatious show, and then to counteract that, everyone goes into false humility and swings the pendulum too far the other way, but then we get resentful…it’s a bit of a circle of doom, yeah?
Someone once told me “You are required to love what God has created. God created you, so you must love yourself. But keep in mind that self-love is NOT self-indulgence. Self- love starts with being secure and happy in your Heavenly Father’s love, then after that it’s mostly self-discipline.” I have found this to be true!
Starts with some itchiness, maybe? Which one doesn't feel like disclosing for various reasons.
We're a complicated race of people, that's for sure. Lot of stuff bottled away which comes out in all the wrong ways 🙄
God bless you Fr C another great message. But also..
Is that a new geranium?? What happened to Gerry?
It’s his offspring!
My Irish ancestors came to the british colonies in the Americas in the mid 1700s but they obviously brought this attitude with them and passed it down like dogma.😂😂
Tall Poppy Syndrome infects Australia too. I don't find it so much here in Galicia, where I've lived since 2018, people are genuinely impressed by others' achievements or talents. Interesting. I've been on the wrong end of TPS, and it's really not nice. I hope...hope...that I don't do it. I had a Sicilian friend who, when complimented with: "You look nice today" would reply: "Thank you. I know!" Which was tongue in cheek but also an acceptance. I liked that.
We love that your one of us weirdo to Father😂😇😅
Seems as if Americans love to be Irish. My great, great grandfather was named Charles Dalton, born in 1825 and came to the US in the 1850s. He ended up in Pecos, NM and was a lumberjack in the high mountains there. So I have a Smiget of Irish decent-but I am mostly of hispanic heritage. I just don’t want to be any part of the panic in Hispanic. These are my funny thoughts. You help with Happy ways of knowing God. I am really an earthling- of cosmic heritage.
Nyc here and the absolute greed and striving for material gain and recognition is a real problem here. Speaking from experience leads to loneliness. On the surface it seems like the opposite problem of the Irish but I think pride is the root of both.
When I was young some priests told as that women are complicated. Now I know the reason: we are all irish, Eve was Irish 😂😂😂
I don't agree with those priests. We all are more or less complicated and perhaps, if you say so, there is an Irish way of being complicated.
The thing is that the very moment you decide to be less complicated you are being complicated.
The positive method "I'm going to express my needs to other people and to God" is quite better. "I'm going to thank for compliments and thank God for his gifts" is a more honest way to live.
I'm glad for being Irish and Spanish at the same time 😂
Amazing - i wonder if this extends beyond the here and now in Ireland but to many if not all Irish emigrants and descendants spread through out the world - is there is an investment we make into being stoic in all circumstances? . Do we confuse self imposed self denial with the self denial Christ requires - uniting ourselves to the cross which would ultimately free us to freely accept the good?
Is it still common in Ireland to pass the inheritance undivided only to the oldest brother?
I call it "Gestalt." In English you may choose to call it "being on the same page." That can hurt you at a pub :))
You must understand there's a text being spoken, accompanied by some mental focus and mental energy :))
So true Brother....natives "he went off the reservation", blacks " he's an Oriole, Huxley ", whites " remember where you come from", origanal punk rockers " everyones a poser"😂...gosh, one upping by low browing is embarrassing 🤣
Cum e asta cu spovedania, parinte?
I once heard a story - a true one, that I think best illustrates the saying "Luck of the Irish".
There was an Irishman who had immigrated to America in the late 1800's - early 1900's for a better life raising race horses. This fellow always wanted to race horses, but he was a bit too tall to be a jockey. One day however, the lady who employed him for taking care of her horses had one of her jockey's drop out last minute and asked this Irishman if he would replace her jockey, I imagined he was very excited to finally fulfill his dream of racing horses. So he climbs up on this horse, lines up, the race starts and off he goes. Doesn't take long for him to pull ahead and take the lead, he does so well in fact, he appears to be doing a little showboating swaying around on his horse. He crosses the finish line in first place and he's still on his horse when everyone surrounds him to congratulate him and give him his prize when they notice his lack of enthusiasm is very concerning. They soon see that he's not breathing and they take him off of his horse and they find that he had a heart attack mid race and died.
From the outside looking in, this seems to be the Irish experience and perhaps why Irish character is well guarded, because there's always a hidden fee
Oof my 20% Irish is strong
A common sin for me is the schadenfreude that I shrug off because it's... I don't know... righteous indignation? Many political and business figures that are guilty of greed or immoral behavior are targets of this ugly habit. I think "maybe they are actually on the spectrum of NPD or even psychopathy, and so apparently this is a just way to feel about them". But it isn't. It isn't my place. I don't think it will go away, but with prayer I try and leave it to God.
Of course people who faced hundreds of years of colonization and violence would hide anything that makes them vulnerable or anything that makes them stand out. Go raibh maith agat a Athair Colm Cille.
People who cannot accept gifts or favors from others, are actually being selfish. One can do things for others, help them, give them things that they may need, or that they might like, and get the good feelings and satisfaction that comes with doing things for others. But you deny the opportunity for everyone else. It would be difficult to fulfill the corporal acts of mercy if no one would except them. One is too selfish to except the water or the food or the clothing. It is selfishness and pride .
Okay that doesn't count as problem solved for the obvious reasons.
Father, great talk but it’s „Schadenfreude“ - and a very German word and attitude
I know this all too well! And I’m not Irish, but Swiss, with parents coming from two different countries. I thought they’d developed this attitude because they both experienced World War II as children and had to do without many things that we take for granted. I’m working on overcoming this “inheritance” too…