Aspie Extrovert - Social Skills, Introverts, Autism & Dancing/Clubs
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 вер 2018
- This is a new format of video... it’s a bit more rantey, a bit more personal... so let me know how you feel about it! In this video I talk about my strong opinions on Autistics accepting their given nature of being an introvert, despite their desire for connection with others.
Autistics get higher rates of ANXIETY, SUICIDAL SPORTS, SOCIAL ISOLATION etc etc. My desire is to surpass all this information about ignoring the fact we live in a neurotypicals world, and get Aspies and Autistics to sort out their social skills and improve their lives.
TOGETHER WE WILL BE STRONG. WITH WORK AND PERSISTENCE WE CAN SURPASS OUR BARRIERS AND RAISE ABOVE OUR PEERS. WITH OUR BRAINS WE CAN TRANSFORM THIS WORLD INTO A BETTER AND MORE EQUAL SOCIETY.
So you're saying that alcohol is the best cure for aspie kids struggling with social interaction?
Joking aside, you're awesome and I love your videos but this was a hard one for me to watch, I gave up on friends long ago
Damn it... I knew someone would comment something like this 🤣! Definitely NOT my message. I only wanted to highlight how we can take advantage of daunting ADULT situations as ADULTS. Thank you for your comment though, I value you as such a loyal subscriber... I’ll make sure to add a disclaimer at some point haha!
"Making it your special interest" pretty good advice! At least for me, it turned our to be most useful!
“Smooth chocolate voice” hahahaha
Nice dance moves my dude!
I agree music and dance is life and I don’t know how I would cope without them.
Thanks man, really positive attitude towards people and socializing which I don't see much of. Happy I found your vid.
Thanks for your positive comment as well! Welcome to the Aspie growth community ❤️
Finally someone talking about this XD
I usually seclude myself because I just enjoy hanging out at home the most but I also love clubbing.
Dancing has been such therapy for me and also it`s too loud for smalltalk and dark enough, so that no one takes it personally that I have trouble recognising faces. I`m a completely different person in that setting and it can be a great release every few weeks!
"Yawn" 2am notification bell woke me up aspergers growth video mmm do I go back to sleep or watch his vid I'll watch the vid I just want to say I LIKE IT I LIKE IT ALOOOOTTTT !!! 😂 Cool thumbnail your stood in a powerful im ready to take the world on stance haha with your arms reaching out a yoga move is it the lantern is cool to love it....Anyhooo that dance at the end was so cool.Do you know that was a very imformative fascinating vid your voice is so relaxing to listen to you don't race through your vids like some generic UA-camrs you are detailed and give people time to process what's being said you give ppl alot of interest in points to think about and reflect on you make so many good valid points.I feel music is life love acceptance dancing to is a way to just let yourself go no judgement because everyone are not amazing dancers you can just let all your stress out and anxities express yourself get lost in the rythme and the beats and let the music flow threw you it just allows you to forget briefly that you have all these stresses and anxieties and conditions you can switch off and have fun with friends I wish ppl would just even in their own bedroom just have a really good dance and let all thier stresses wash away for an hour or so dance more it's an amazing theraputic high feeling. Ppl isolate themselves from the world they are afraid what's out there they feel comfortable and safe indoors for ppl its unhealthy to isolate yourselves to long you get cabin fever and your mood can be deeply affected so is staying indoors is not always healthy nobody should be afraid to challenge themselves and face their insecurities and fears head on ppl will find what was all the worry about music is very therapeutic it really is I live sleep and breath music and dancing sometimes are hands are tied with introverted ppl they can be stuck in their ways and don't want to at least try and get out there and challenge themselves it's good to like your own company and be settled and content but I wish they could try and be more daring and go outside and just breath the air and do baby steps to then facing a big challenge and meeting ppl ect drinking in moderation is acceptable and gives ppl that first step in confidence but you just need to be yourself and if a girl boy reject you they are ignorant and they are not worth feeling low about they just not the right one for you kiss alot of frogs before you will meet someone who is compatible with you never get discouraged or beaten down with rejection your not a failer you just didn't speak to the right person for you never give up it's a mentally draining process for aspies to think where to start with socialising it can be stressful just thinking to go up to someone to say words like hi is hard for all walks of ppl but aspies more thinking what to say is tough i believe.i was quite introverted when i was younger i was just quiet growing up my escapism to suffering ptsd(abuse traumas ) was drawing music and action movies and endless comedy shows going on nature walks ect ect you get my drift haha and i had a little agrophobia to until I had my kids at age 26 I found my voice with them they brung me out of my shell i became such a happy go lucky fun loving person they let me be myself music has had a fundamental part of my life bringing me out of my shell to i brung my kids up to always be themselves be accepting of others don't judge and they are the coolest kids they are very confident to confident sometimes haha.Blah blah blah.Zzzzzzz I'm going back to sleep now 😴 sorry another long winded comment haha x Harrogate I'm from West Yorkshire i miss all these gorgeous Yorkshire towns my fave is harrogate and Shipley howarth Sheffield no jk Ive lived in the midlands for 14 yrs the ppl are up there own b#@ts here I'm friendly and ppl look at me like I'm a alien they are not friendly at all haha i miss Yorkshire so much all my family are in yorkshire haha x
Thanks for your awesome comment once again Bianca. My picture is from Thailand’s Pai at Yun Lai viewpoint... beautiful place! Social anxiety and socialising is a hard mix, but I hope it’s given everyone something to think about. Wow that’s great, Yorkshire is one of my favourite places in the world!
Thanks again for the comment 😁
I hav an 18 yr old son his so introverted now left college and doesn’t want to do anything
His anti social
Very isolated in his room
I can’t him to talk to me
I be a nice as possible
But it’s doesn’t help
I need help so does he but I don’t know how to pursue this further
He hates goin out and doesn’t really hav friends that I know of plz can u advice me on this. Thank u
Hi there and thanks for the comment, just remember I’m not a licensed psychologist and any of my suggestions will come from an understanding of Autism and baseline psychology.
Actually this kind of thing is quite common in a lot of kids these days, especially those with a tendency for social anxiety (Autistics/Aspies). I recommend 1st reading some books about connecting with kids at the age as a whole as it would be nice if I could give a direct answer, but everyone is different. 2ndly you could try to form a routine for socialising with you or your family by making group dinners/lunches mandatory, outlining the direct punishments for not complying beforehand (Removing internet rights, refusal to feed unproductive habits like gaming etc). Once you can establish a regular dialogue (making sure not to be too forceful with the openness and questions, and making sure to ease the pressure off by talking to other members of your family) and you have managed to get a positive conversation going a few times, 3rdly try to talk openly about some of the feelings and worries you have in your daily life to him or someone else so that he understands it’s a two way system (Lead by example). 4thly try show interest in his special interests by asking stimulating questions and showing genuine interest (Try to get him monologueing) as this will make transitioning into other conversations easier. Lastly you need to try formulate your concerns, backed up with direct logical reasoning and highlighting the facts and possibilities consequences for his laziness (Reduced quality of life etc etc... you can research) in conjunction with the amplified body language associated with concern (Helps him emphasise better).
These are only ideas that I believe would work on myself as an Aspie and also on my brother who has the same problem. Just make sure not to take a hostile stance and try to suppress any reactivness to his behaviour... make sure he knows his hostility isn’t reciprocated and it’s unacceptable. I hope this helps, just remember to be patient, supportive and try to read up/research to better understand his position... unproductive behaviour can be a coping mechanism for stress associated with Autism,
Thanks for the comment, I hope this helps! 😁
@@ThomasHenley Kristy Forbes talks about demand avoidance. More expectations on someone who is already withdrawn, from my experience, causes more isolation to avoid the stress of those demands.
It sounds to me like their son is trying to cope like you said.
I also agree with what you said about them learning more about autism, etc.
I'm an autistic with some education on autism. Basically, my opinion is: don't force him to talk to you if he doesn't want to; he's trying to regulate himself and is the expert on that so follow his intuition on that because it sounds like he's in autistic shut down mode or even autistic burnout. Try to work on processing and thinking through your feelings and setting realistic expectations; don't try to punish him for how his mind works- that'd just create more stress on him and everyone. See the long reply I wrote.
What unresolved things in y'all's relationship do you think he is stressed about? What things are you stressed about in life?
What you describe is basically my journey.
I have to say something about alcohol and drugs, and I don´t want to be misunderstood in a way, that I promote or even glorify their use, because I´ve seen peoples lifes and mental health destroyed by them in a few cases and in the past I also had problems with them, that I luckily was able to overcome.
But alcohol (and MDMA) really helped me to go out and socialize and while intoxicated I learned patterns of behaviour that I later on could use when I was sober because I made the experience that they would work. That way I became more outgoing as a person and learned strategies to socialize.
An other thing were psychedelics. You talk about how it is necessary to become aware of the fact that your own point of view is not the only one, that is valid. Psychedelics showed me - brutally - how subjective my outlook on the world really is and that you can think, feel and experience yourself and the world around you in radical different ways than I was used to. That really made me question myself, what was actually a good thing, because it made me more accepting of the way other people see things.
MDMA has helped me a lot with my social anxiety related to my Aspergers