That last part about “having more sex won’t fix the problem” makes me think about those Christian resources that state just that. Women are told that they need to have frequent sex with their spouse to prevent them from watching porn or having an affair. Needless to say, these spouses most likely started watching porn BEFORE they were married so breaking that habit with MORE SEX isn’t the way to fix the addiction. It also makes me think about the “do not deny your spouse” message. Like, if a husband is a sex addict and is “self soothing” with sex and wives are told they aren’t allowed to say no to sex… when does the cycle stop? This unhealthy situation is never resolved. I absolutely love your podcasts. Thanks for all you do.
Around minute 20 - it's explained that part of the issue of sexual addiction is wanting beautiful women, but also fusing that with dealing with pain... that it's not "either/ or." So, that seems hopeless for spouses that have been betrayed by addicts-- the addict will truly never want only their spouse. Is that the reality?
So, that nuance seems to go against the "myth" that it's "all about sex." It seems like sex definitely *is* a part of it, which seems different than the original message of this podcast. Trying to understand. It seems like there can never be hope of true faithfulness/ complete faithfulness, when the unfaithful will never truly want only his spouse.
And around minute 20:30 it's then said that the emotional response isn't wrong-- does that mean getting emotional about other women isn't wrong? I don't know how you can have both when the Bible commands husbands to love and be attracted to only their wives (drink from your own cistern). Not trying to nit pick; truly am trying to understand. It doesn't seem like that statement about "emotions don't lie" would encourage spouses to be faithful to one another. I also don't see how that statement gives the betrayed spouse hope of faithfulness.
That last part about “having more sex won’t fix the problem” makes me think about those Christian resources that state just that. Women are told that they need to have frequent sex with their spouse to prevent them from watching porn or having an affair. Needless to say, these spouses most likely started watching porn BEFORE they were married so breaking that habit with MORE SEX isn’t the way to fix the addiction. It also makes me think about the “do not deny your spouse” message. Like, if a husband is a sex addict and is “self soothing” with sex and wives are told they aren’t allowed to say no to sex… when does the cycle stop? This unhealthy situation is never resolved.
I absolutely love your podcasts. Thanks for all you do.
Great point.
Around minute 20 - it's explained that part of the issue of sexual addiction is wanting beautiful women, but also fusing that with dealing with pain... that it's not "either/ or." So, that seems hopeless for spouses that have been betrayed by addicts-- the addict will truly never want only their spouse. Is that the reality?
So, that nuance seems to go against the "myth" that it's "all about sex." It seems like sex definitely *is* a part of it, which seems different than the original message of this podcast. Trying to understand. It seems like there can never be hope of true faithfulness/ complete faithfulness, when the unfaithful will never truly want only his spouse.
And around minute 20:30 it's then said that the emotional response isn't wrong-- does that mean getting emotional about other women isn't wrong? I don't know how you can have both when the Bible commands husbands to love and be attracted to only their wives (drink from your own cistern). Not trying to nit pick; truly am trying to understand. It doesn't seem like that statement about "emotions don't lie" would encourage spouses to be faithful to one another. I also don't see how that statement gives the betrayed spouse hope of faithfulness.